Dallas Nitpicker Central (Reborn)

Friday, March 16

10. I think that I have to make a small apology [I guess] for not putting out some sort of column sooner to let everyone know I was still around. But frankly, I have a lot of very valid excuses. First of all, I've been busy as heck making tapes that are headed all around the world at this point - thanks to all who have ordered and supported me in that regard! - and that leaves me very little time to watch tapes for myself. But I have managed to get through the end of Season 6, back from where TNN left off what seems like ages ago. Also, business has gotten better which means more work and now it's my favorite time of year - March Madness, baby! - but even so I have more than enough to fill a column. Here goes:

9. I think that I believe I had first better address my extremely wrong prediction of my last column - that TNN would have to make more intelligent choices about its programming now that they've forged a partnership with the WWF. They've made choices to be sure, and their lineup is better than it used to be without question. Odd that they would decide to add so many shows from the late 70s and 80s, and yet exclude the ONE show that they used to air which was from the 80s, and yet continue to show the Dukes of Hazzard even though they want to get away from the whole "country" theme. You've got some interesting candidates for psychoanalysis amongst those programming directors, to say the least.

8. I think that speaking of the WWF, I mentioned that I work with one of their branch offices and I think I'd like to give them a bit of a plug. This one is for the men out there: guys, go and get the "Divas" special magazine that will be coming out within a couple of weeks or so. I got an advance copy and it is SO worth the look. I'm at the point in my life where I don't go ga-ga over pretty women wearing bathing suits [or less] but this thing will get your mojo working, no matter which Diva is to your liking - Lita's my personal favorite, and if she's yours you'll thank me. It's well the $6 [$9 Canadian - stupid exchange rate.]

7. I think that finally getting through the end of Season 6 was nice for me. I didn't have tapes for a whole bunch of episodes following Episode 145 where TNN left off last year. It prompted a few thoughts, which are below. The first one is to remind anyone that if you, like me, have a hankering for watching our favorite show, I've got all the tapes available now, there for the taking. E-mail any time.

6. I think that my first thought is that my attitude towards cut scenes has really changed. I've been able to watch some of the episodes uncut and been able to compare them to the syndicated broadcasts. In later seasons we blame a lot of nonsensical things on cuts - and rightly so - but a lot of scenes really need to end up on the post-production floor. Most such scenes were likely filler material anyway - stuff to pad the main action to fill television minutes.
The first thing to bear in mind is that we're usually only talking about two to three minutes of action per episode anyway. It mind sound like a lot but it really isn't. That's the amount of time taken up by the opening and closing credits, just for perspective.
The second thing [as I may have already said] is that a lot of these scenes are just pointless. A few of them are kind of interesting - for instance, in Episode 146, there is a scene where Mark and Pam are playing tennis and Mark's knee starts to  bother him, which you would not have seen on TNN. While it explains that Mark suddenly has to go to the hospital and get some tests done and then the whole "Mark has leukemia" storyline begins, having this tennis scene cut out is not something to cry over, in my opinion. Certainly not like the lost horny Sue Ellen scene of Episode 10, which was very meaningful.
But getting back to the main point - stupid scenes. How about Episode 158: one cut scene has Mark and Pam looking at a banquet hall for their reception, in which for the umpteenth time Pam pines for a small wedding instead of a huge hoopla. No character development, and frankly not even any unrecycled dialogue. Or Episode 154, where Ellie comes over to Ray and Donna's house to tell them that Jessica is arriving and she wants them to be there. Do we really need to see this? I didn't, that's for sure. So the next time you feel like bewailing a cut, remember that sometimes that guy with the scissors is being merciful.

5. I think that I'm really of two minds when it actually comes to giving a thumbs up/thumbs down to the latter half of Season 6. At first I was going to say that I thought it was really boring, and I do think that overall. There's not much action going on. There's a lot of discussion about relationships - Peter and Sue Ellen talk, Bobby and Jenna talk, Pam and Mark talk, and so on and so forth, but these couples don't really DO anything, and certainly they don't really get any of their issues resolved. Watching four or five of these episodes back to back,  you feel like you've spent three hours seeing these people move in circles. 

4. I think that, after going back over the summaries, it's somewhaty unfair for me to characterize this part of the series as boring, because there were a few good storylines in it. The Naldo saga was somewhat interesting, and so was the tension surrounding Sue Ellen's miscarriage but unfortunately these were just used as vehicles to create some problems in already-strained relationships so there could more touchy-feely banter between guys and gals. The only exception to this was the plot surrounding the bidding for Gold Canyon 340 and its aftermath, which I found to be a lot of fun. And then of course, Jessica arrives to set the cat amongst the pigeons for a short while. I guess there's just so much teaser romantic subplay here that these episodes seem to be dragged out endlessly.

3. I think that the one thing that really stands out in my mind when looking back on Season 6 is that Priscilla Presley is gorgeous. She has a very age-transcending, room-brightening loveliness even today, sixteen years later. Did anyone catch her a few years ago when she did guested on Melrose Place for a few episodes? She looked like she hadn't changed a bit from 1983. As has been well documented in the column, she did have the rather horrid stretch in the late 80s, but with the ridiculous gimmick she had [jobbing to Macho Man Ray Krebbs] I can't really blame her.
I have no idea why I feel like gushing over her during the latter half of Season 6, but I can't deny that I do. There's something about her look - an on-screen aura which makes her so different from all of the other Dallas babes during this stretch. Pam of course has zero lustre at this point because she's saddled with the over-emotional storyline; I adore Katherine but she's a total jobber right now. I think Sue Ellen's looking good but exudes no warmth. 
It takes me back to the Babes Poll, when I had to settle on my top 5. My initial thought was [in descending order]: Pam, Katherine, Cally, Grace, and then Jenna. I ended up replacing Jenna with Sly in the official poll, probably because of the timing [during the airing of the aforementioned 87-88 season]. I just went up and down through the pictures and settled on Priscilla at first. I'm going to have to think about why that changed over the next couple of seasons.

2. I think that I have to finish this off by giving myself a plug. This was passed on to me by Jim Holmes in the UK, and I am very grateful. If anybody has any more information, please pass it along:

> You may already be aware that your site was featured on a UK TV chat show, 'So Graham Norton', a few months ago. Patrick Duffy was the guest, and the host went on to the tote page and asked him if he knew how many lovers/picnics/police officer impressions Bobby had 'done' (the latter really threw him!) He was cool though; he got the joke.

I was absolutely not aware of this, but that is so totally amazing. If anyone knows how I can get a transcript or copy of this show, please let me know.

Also, I'm told that the series is running again in some parts of Europe. I'm hoping to see those nits start rolling in soon! You know who you are...

1. I think that I don't know how to end this column except by saying that I'll have another one ready when I get through the first half or so of Season 7. I'm in the middle of a lot of taping so it might be some time...hopefully not as long as it was this time. But we'll see. As always, comments, questions, and arguments are always welcome anytime.