Dallas Nitpicker Central (Reborn)

Ten things I thinkI think this week:

Saturday, October 30

10. I think that this week, I am back and in full effect. I was hoping to fit everything I want to say into ten things, but it's ballooned to about seventeen. It's funny how things work out - earlier this week, I went through what might very well be the disappointment of my life. But you know what? I don't care. I've lived through big disappointments before and I will again. And I've decided not to let my burdens weigh me down any more. I'm still upset, and I don't really feel like pulling any punches about the way I feel about anything. And that might mean that some of you might not like some of the implications of the things I'm about to say. But that usually means a really good column is coming right up.

9a. I think that I just want to get a few housekeeping things out of the way. First of all, I'm totally convinced that the site is behaving itself marvelously now. I've realized that Geocities was migrating to new, better, servers and to make up for the inconvenience of the past few weeks they've given us all a little more cyber-real estate. Thanks for sticking with it, folks. By the way, I hope some of you have noticed that the pop-up screens are now toast, replaced by a little box in the top right corner of the page. I think it's a bit less annoying.

9b. I think that if you haven't put in your ballot for the Babes and/or Hunks poll, do it right now. The results will go up late Saturday night, and then it's all over. Absolutely no one, other than myself, knows the results yet - not even the AHNs. There will be lots of surprises. And just to peak everyone's interest, I will lay out one interesting hint. The top three babes, in descending order, were each married to the top three hunks, in descending order, at some point in the series. In other words, #1 was married to #1, #2 to #2, and #3 to #3. This might actually confuse more than help.

9c. I think that before I forget, there's something I want to mention: nothing personal against you good folks from Atlanta, but your baseball team's management really sucks. I can't imagine you people want to take pride in the fact that the only half-decent team you've beaten all decade is Cleveland. Invest in some bigger gloves and a reliever.

9d. I think that there's one more Dallas-unrelated thing that really bugs me. If I hear that "Crazy" song by Britney Spears one more time, I'm going to mangle somebody's car stereo.

8. I think that last week, I would have left this one to Bill Withrow, but not this time. Bill asked me:

> Cliff and Donna? Donna should suspect that Cliff may only be sleeping with her and using her so that she will help him stay in tight with Dave Culver. She must be missing Ray real bad to get involved with Cliff.

You want to know what I think? I'll tell you, and it shocks even me to some extent that I'm about to type this. I think Donna, to use the Springer vernacular, like many women who have no sense of what life is really all about, is a trifling bitch right now. I would use stronger language if I had seen any hard evidence that she and Cliff have slept together. It is SO ridiculous how women treat men sometimes. Donna has a guy like Ray who's opened up his heart to her but she just agrees to cool it with him, figuring that she's got nothing to worry about because he's a lovesick puppy and she knows she's got him in her back pocket. If she ever ends up without a man, good ol' Ray Krebbs will be there to pick up the slack. But in the meantime, she'll take up with a loser like Cliff and make herself completely blind to the fact that he's so blatantly using her. Some women just don't deserve to be happy when they string people along like this.
I'm going to forego the "no spoilers" rule because I want to finish this thought, and I'm sure that 99.9% of you know that Ray and Donna are going to get married anyway. And that happens rather soon. Next week, in fact, they'll reunite, and even then, only under the circumstances I've outlined above. The tragic part of it all is that Ray is SO smitten by her that he completely ignores her mistreatment. If I didn't know it wasn't going to happen, I'd be lobbying for him to trash her the way she deserves so that she knows her role.

Bill was nice enough to write me back:

> I think it may be the other way around. Ray is the one who put the brakes on their relationship. He's the one with the self esteem problem.

Now wait a minute. When they first met, Donna called it off because she didn't want to hurt Sam. Then Sam died and Donna needed to have it, so she said "Come on, cowboy." Ray began to have some doubts about whether they were right for each other, and Donna tried [very lamely, in my opinion] to convince him that he was wrong. But did she persist? Did she really try and make an effort to work it out? No. Did she try and soothe his ego and see his point of view? No. She just went back to her world for a while, took up with Cliff Barnes who was obviously using her, and then when it doesn't work out, she heads back over to Ray's place because she's horny again. Sure, Ray may have put the brakes on the relationship, but she's the one who put the lever into park and took the keys out of the ignition.

7. I think that I had better clear up one issue, because I've gotten quite a bit of mail about it. Yes, Pam is not Digger's daughter. So, no, she is no longer at risk of either developing neurofibromatosis or transmitting it to her children. But since she's being a Mrs. Broslofski right now, I don't think there's any chance of her eggs being fertilized any time soon. She's got a lot of issues to sort out before her reproductive cycle comes into play again.
On a side note, let me just repeat something I said last year: I'm not a proponent of violence in any sense, but somebody needs to give Pam a good hard slap. [I'd like to see Sue Ellen do it, personally.] What is with this 'me,me,me, listen to me, you're too self-absorbed, listen to me' attitude?' that she gives Bobby and Cliff? Just because they don't share her enthusiasm about finding her mother and don't give her their undivided attention when she talks about what the private detective has found, they've become bad people. Give me a break.
I know this show is not real. I know that these people are just characters playing roles on TV so they can buy nice cars and homes in Beverly Hills. I'm sure that Victoria Principal is a very nice person. But right now, I just can not stand her character. The majority of us watch DALLAS to be entertained; we may dislike certain characters but we are entertained by them and we enjoy watching what they do and sometimes we even live vicariously through them. But Pam's latest angle is not entertaining in the least. It is simply annoying and I can't wait for it to end. Mercifully, it does soon.

6a. I think that I will allocate one of the items to a guest spot. This one comes from Lori Stiemke, about Tuesday's episode:

> I got the uncut version of this episode from that one guy's website, and they did indeed cut a scene. In the scene, Amos goes and talks to Ray and he has the money in his pocket. Ray gets really mad, and Amos tells Ray that Jock gave him the money and it's not his fault that he doesn't want to admit that he's Ray's father. Anyway, Ray yells at him some more, Amos tells him how lucky he is to have a rich daddy, even if he won't admit it in public. Ray tells him to never come back. Amos than takes his money and leaves.

I thank Lori very much for the information, but it actually makes me a little sad. I would have expected better from Jock than to buy Amos off. Clearly the purpose of this scene would have been to establish some doubt as to whether Jock would acknowledge Ray as his son, but I would have rather have seen Amos hit Jock bottom.

6b. I think that, just as an interesting side note, it's worth pointing out that the whole concept of "the fourth son" was actually Larry Hagman's idea. The story that I've heard goes something like this: after the first season of Dallas, Larry and Steve Kanaly, who are real good friends, went on a fishing trip and during a conversation, Larry got the idea of pushing Ray into the family so that he could actually get some air time. The obvious problem, of course, was that people still remembered Ray and Lucy's sexual escapades at the beginning of the season, so the producers felt it was necessary to give both of them other plots and romances in the hope that the audience would forget the whole incest thing.

5a. I think that like Mark Graison in future seasons, Alex Ward should be drawn and quartered, or perhaps just castrated. Anyone who digs his claws into a married woman the way he is doing deserves little better. And here is just more ammunition in the fight to prove that Pam is unworthy of her husband. Consider what she's doing. She's upset at Bobby for her perception that he's too involved with Ewing Oil and is not giving her enough attention [just like she did to him last season]. So she responds by allowing herself, however innocently she wants to pretend it is, to be enticed into accepting the favors of another man [just like Bobby did with Jenna last season]. So in essence, she has completely forgotten everything she put her husband through last season. She has forgotten how she felt when she thought she was going to lose her husband. Her marriage has become a one-way street and for all intents it's almost a sham. Let me say this for Bobby: he may be pouring himself into his work, but he's NOT pouring himself into another woman, even though Connie's obviously right there for him.

5b. I think that, come to think of it, this might have been a really good angle to use. Of course, the producers would wreck Bobby's babyface character if he actually DID anything with Connie, but maybe they could have had the two of them celebrate a recent success [like the refinery purchase] at lunch and Pam could have seen them having an innocent kiss or something like that. This could have sparked a whole new bunch of angles which would have made their arguments a little bit more meaningful. I don't really like the idea of Pam being jealous of Ewing Oil in and of itself. I find it quite petty and unworthy of her.

4. I think that I'll now digress from this for a moment and move to the Lucy/Mitch thing from Monday. Here's what AHN Pam confronted me with that fateful evening.

> I have to say, I rather enjoyed watching Lucy lay the smackdown on Mitch. He is a reverse-snob!

NO! NO, no, no. Jason said the same thing and I really think that all of you guys are missing the point. Lucy is totally dreaming if she thinks those rich bitches and bastards are ever going to accept Mitch. What do you think happened after he left? All anyone of those stuck-up retards could probably talk about was how shameful it was that Lucy was going out with a guy whose way she has to pay. Mitch and anyone with any common sense should really be able to sense the situation and walk away. [BTW, despite my promise to ignore political correctness, I must apologize for my use of the word "retard" in this paragraph. People with disabilties deserve much better than to be mentioned in the same sentence with the type of human trash we saw in the pool.]
Lucy is completely oblivious to how uncomfortable Mitch would have to be in this situation. "Oh come on Mitch, it's only two hundred dollars." Well, Lucy, for some people, that's a month's worth of food! I know from experience that as a medical student, having two hundred dollars for food for one month is a luxury. But does Lucy care? No. And she calls him a snob because he's uncomfortable with people who he doesn't know and who obviously think they're better than him? I don't think so. Lucy is ridiculously off base.
I can see why you might buy her argument at first. Certainly Mitch has and will be unwilling to accept ANYTHING about her world and has ridiculously high standards for himself. But this time he did the right thing for the right reason and if Lucy can't see that she's either being pig-headed, stuck-up, a bitch, or all three.

3a. I think that now I had better move on to one of the most debated topics of this week. So many people asked this in so many different ways that it was hard to pick one. But Jason's question was the first one I found.

> What the heck is that old coot Jock's problem? He asks Bobby to run the family "bidness" while JR is laid up, then starts to whine about "the way" he runs it.  Excuse me, but you seemed to turn the other cheek on MANY occasions when JR pulled all kinds of dirty tricks to profit Ewing Oil.  (Can anyone say Asian fields?  mortgage of Southfork?  Seth and the Cartel?  I thought so..)  And Bobby is being honest and upfront about his dealings.  What kind of a business man does Jock want running Ewing Oil?  So much for honor and all that crap he crams down people's throats.  Cards on the table, I bet he would rather see Ewing Oil screw over his friends (like the Cartel boys) than to sell off some precious Ewing assets... Nice value system Jock. 

I think that Jock is not wholly to blame here. Remember that JR is a master manipulator, a keen perceptor of minds and an outstanding predictor of behavior. He knows how his father and brother think and act. He's well aware of Jock's need for control and the fact that he doesn't like his will to be questioned or gainsaid. He's also well aware of Bobby's ambition and need to prove himself. So he takes these two things, which independently have really hurt him, and pits them against each other, using them to his advantage.
Over the years, it was clear that JR told Jock things about the business, and consulted him for advice, just enough to make Jock believe that he was still an active part in the decision-making process at Ewing Oil. When JR did something that he didn't want his father to know about, he just kept it a secret and made every effort to cover his tracks in the matter. My belief in the matter is that Jock probably realized that JR was pulling some minor shenanigans behind the scenes, which he felt were probably harmless - bidness is bidness. But he was probably truly shocked when he found that JR had mortgaged Southfork - that seemed to be the first time JR had actually not been able to pull his butt out of the fire. And as far as bilking the cartel goes: I think that while Jock may suspect something, he's not really ready to call JR a liar without proof, especially when JR denied any foreknowledge of what was going to happen.
So the point is, like Sue Ellen said, JR understands what real power is about. But not necessarily for the reasons she mentioned. Real power is knowing the difference between having it and using it on the one hand, and talking and whining about it on the other hand. If you have real power, you don't have to go around TELLING everybody about it and proving that you have it. You just use it.
Bobby, in his lovable way, just doesn't understand this. Don't talk about what you're going to do, Bob. Not to JR. Not to Jock. CERTAINLY not to Pam. Not even to Connie or to yourself. Just DO it. Not even JR can undo something that's done. His specialty is undermining something while it's being done.
Bobby also has the whammy of having JR watching his every move. Even while Bobby was hanging around the office, while JR was in charge he got his way. He knew how to keep a secret a secret. When he came up big, he didn't tell everybody about it. He thought ahead about how to get things done. He was proactive while Bobby simply reacts. When JR was ever challenged by Bobby or Jock, he responded to what was said very succinctly and tried to justify his actions. But because Bobby's such an honest guy, when he's challenged by JR or Jock, he takes it as an affront to his personal integrity and reacts to the way things are being said rather than talk about the issue at hand.

3b. I think that a lot of you are probably wondering how I know this. Well, it's real simple. I live it every day. My situation right now is not very different from Bobby's. Four years ago, I got myself tangled up in a situation way beyond my control. Several complicated things happened and in the end, against my better judgment, I found myself becoming a major cog in the family business. I've been in Bobby's shoes. I've experienced what it's like to have the need and the ability to make decisions but feeling helpless because you've got to check every darn thing with somebody before you can do or say it. But, like Bobby, I've made the most of it. I took responsibility for things where I was able - without asking or pleading for it - and saw them through. I made a lot of mistakes. I sometimes got browbeaten for my rash judgment. I often disagreed [to put it mildly] with my dad about how things should be done. I had a need to prove to my dad and to myself that I was worthy of the opportunity by trumpeting my successes, often prematurely. When I was confronted about my methods, I would often retort with the fact that I was just trying to do the best I could.
Now, I'm running the major part of the show. I guess I'm fortunate that I don't have an older brother who tries to make my life miserable, but that's neither here nor there. I've never really played with the high stakes that you would find in an oil company, but there have come times when I've had to make quick decisions without consulting my dad. I've never regretted those decisions; I've stood by them; I've taken the heat for them when they were proved to be bad and accepted the consequences. And I wouldn't do it any other way. No way, no how. If you're wishy-washy about things and constantly ask yourself, "Is this how we should do it?", things tend not to get done. It's only when you say, 'This is what we're going to do." that things actually happen. I've learned to shut up about getting the credit for anything and everything. Nowadays, when I'm confronted about my methods, my response is usually that I needed to get the job done.
Bobby Ewing has not learned this yet. If he really wants to be the President of Ewing Oil, then he needs to focus on his job rather than his image. He's so concerned about showing the world that he's a honest guy and Ewing Oil is an honest company. Instead of confronting Jock in public about how he looks like an idiot because of Jock's investment, he should tell him privately that because Jock didn't inform him about what his plans were, their chance to get back into the good graces of the cartel was ruined. Then Jock might have seen the light. When you feel like an idiot, it generally doesn't pay to respond by trying to make other people look like idiots.
Here's a hint, Bob: BE an honest person and RUN an honest company. Don't talk about it, DO it. And while you're at it, know your limits. You can't be a part of every deal that crosses your desk. Chill out.

3c. I think that this one's already gone on a bit too far, but oh well. I'd just like to say a final word about Bobby's problem with investing in Jordan Lee's deal. He tells Connie that he only needs a half million now, with the rest of the twelve million to come in a couple of months. As before, I reasoned it out by analogizing it to my own business.
Certainly it's necessary in any business to keep some cash on hand for emergencies or to take advantage of an opportunity that presents itself. I can picture it this way: Ewing Oil is a 100 million dollar company right now, I think, based on the fact that the Asian wells haven't come in. Jock talks about Ewing Oil having "ten times" that much money when Bobby says he needs 12 million, so I think I'm right. And Bobby seems to be comfortable having about 15 million in the bank, based on the size of his business - that's about 15 percent, give or take.
Now, our business is worth 1.5 million or so. So by the same arithmetic, I'd want to keep about $ 20,000 in the bank - which I do, as long as my receivables and payables are balanced. That gives me a lot of flexibility. Now the IT business is a whole lot different than the oil business, and we certainly don't get involved in anything that I would term as "risky". But sometimes we need to make investments and wait for the payoff.
Here's a case in point: one thing we do a lot of is short-term computer rentals. Sometimes a company will call us and say that they need five top-of-the-line machines for a week. Say it costs me $ 1500 to get each machine built. I can only reasonably charge in the range of about $ 200 per machine for a week. So I'm out $ 7500, and in one week I'll get $ 1000 back,
plus I have five machines to sell. That's a good investment given that I can still sell the machines as brand new and end up with maybe $ 10000 for my original investment of $ 7500 - but it might take a month or two because I don't sell a top-of-the-line every day. Plus I have a new client, which is always good.
I can afford to take a calculated risk here because I've got $ 20,000 in the bank, see? This endeavour will cut that down to $12,500, and it might take a couple of months to get back up to where it was - I'll live. But suppose my dad pulled a Jock and decided to invest $ 15000 to buy a car or something like that. Now I've only got $ 5000 in the bank. Even if I ask my distributors to extend me some credit, this suddenly becomes a very risky proposition. What if those machines don't get sold? In a month I have to come up with $ 7500 to pay my suppliers, and I'll only have about $ 6000 unless I make some sales which I can't necessarily count on.
So I think I see where Bobby is coming from. When you've got 15 million lying around, half a million is peanuts. But if it's suddenly 5 million, and there's no way you can be sure that in two months, when you need 12 million, it will be there, then you potentially have a huge problem.

2. I think that my final thought is about this whole weirdness going on between JR and Sue Ellen. Much as I hate to say it, I think it's a shame that some of Sue Ellen's psychobabble scenes have been cut because it would give us some much needed contextualization of what's going on here.
To put it mildly, a lot of things have happened between JR and Sue Ellen in the last two weeks. At a very basic level, Sue Ellen's change of heart is rather incomprehensible given what JR put her through last season. But consider this: for the first time perhaps ever, Sue Ellen has got what she's always wanted out of her marriage: to be NEEDED by JR, and to be able to support him in a way that actually matters to him. It's part of her Utopian fantasy that maybe, just maybe, if she can please JR as a wife and he's happy with her, then none of the other unpleasant realities of her life matter - and maybe JR might even mend his ways for good. The final reason is her need for prestige and her fear that because her fortunes are tied to her husband, it's in her best interest to see him back on top of the family totem pole.
But, like all of the other women that I've discussed above, her desire is completely self-destructive in the end. If she were just to take off the rose-colored glasses for a moment, she might see what exactly it is that she is wishing on herself. She wants Bobby to fail in running Ewing Oil, so that JR can succeed. And she thinks that JR will remember all the love and support she gave him on the way up, and things will still be hunky-dory. I can't fault her for wishing that and hoping that it might happen - but that's really a dumb chance to take, given JR's history. Two bullets don't change the kind of man he is.
This is getting to be a really complicated show. Other than Ellie, Sue Ellen is the only one who's doing right by her man - and even that's for the wrong reasons. Donna's a casually uncaring tramp; Lucy's being selfish and overbearing to Mitch while showing no real signs that she's willing to meet him half way about anything; and I don't want to get started again about Pam. And next week, even Ellie turns into a monster of sorts.

1. I think that this has been a ridiculously long column. But that last point allows me to segue into next week.
Oh, boy. Where to begin? Well, let's see. We start with Lucy and Mitch's wedding which takes us through Monday and Tuesday; this is really a stretch, because the action at the office is continuous...and didn't Lucy say that she and Mitch were going to wait a month to get married? Oh, well. The wedding predictably rotates around the sub-plots of strained relationships; Pam and Bobby continue to go nowhere in a hurry, just like Ray and Donna. JR and Sue Ellen's bliss suffers hiccups, and Ellie pulls a "Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" to Jock. Good old Afton Cooper arrives on the scene for her brother's wedding too. I've heard she hangs around for a while in later seasons. And JR finally gets some mileage out of his Ewing Oil office again, thanks to a platinum blonde named Leslie Stewart.
Do be aware that especially later in the week, the TNN schedule is a bit choppy. Set your VCRs for 11 AM, as always.

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Sunday, October 24

9. I think that I really don't have a heck of a lot to say this week. And I'm feeling a little bit depressed too, which is why this column was delayed. It took a while before I could motivate myself to do it.
I actually had all of the episodes of this week on tape, and I watched them last weekend. Ordinarily I wouldn't have done this except that our basement's being redone and the guys who are doing it only have time from 5 till 9, and the computer with the video capture card is in the basement, and I'd have to wait until after 9:30 to watch the episode every night, and then I just get kinda tired...you know the deal. But fortunately other people came up with stuff to talk about.

8. I think I will say a few things that come to my mind. First, the site really appears to be behaving itself all of a sudden. At least I have no problems accessing any of the pages, which wasn't true before. All of the nit and summary pages seem to load fine. If anyone else is still having trouble, please let me know. It's still possible I have some weird HTML code hiding in some places.

7. I think I want to talk a little bit about the whodunit thing, because I guess I'm expected to. I commented last week about how many people thought the whole thing was kind of obvious. Looking at the way it played out, I think some common sense would have told you who the real killer was well in advance. Every one of the major suspects was exonerated except for her. In fact, the writers did their best to make us forget that Kristin even had a motive for doing it by having her become Sue Ellen's cheerleader for the week.
As I've bandied about with Bill Withrow, clearly the producers were in a bit of a pickle here: it would be nearly impossible to have the shooter be a mainline character, because they're indestructible [read: under long-term contract]. And it would also be tough to have a minor character be the shooter, because that would be kind of lame. For instance, if Alan did it, they'd toss his ass in jail and move on. No, this had to be a reasonably big thing. Someone we cared about as a character; not mainline, but someone who could invoke a plot twist that would allow the writers to move on with the story while at the same time maintain an air of believability.
Just as an aside, for those who don't know: in order to protect the secret of who actually did it, multiple endings were shot, and every mainline character ended up holding the gun...including Larry Hagman himself, as a gag. So the cast themselves were just as surprised as us to see who the real shooter was.

6. I think that I'll open the floor...oh, wait, one more thing. The Babes and Hunks poll is going really well, but there's just a couple of things that I'd like to point out. First of all, to all you ladies out there...WAKE UP AND VOTE! The guys are outvoting you by a ratio of two to one.
Second of all, to everybody: when you place your ballots, please do remember to pick your five favorite men or women. The way the final rankings will be a combination of average score, standard deviation of the scores, and a value representing the number of mentions in the top five. Feel free to go back to the poll any time and vote for your top five if you haven't already.
I hope I won't reveal too much by saying that it looks like the Number 1 position in each poll is pretty much a lock. But in both cases, positions 2 through 6 are VERY close. Every single vote counts at this point. 

5. I think that I'll hand the mike over to Bill Withrow, whose intense questioning truly keeps on my toes:

Early on, everyone mistakenly believes that Sue Ellen shot J.R. Jock is the only person reacting as I would expect a parent or family member to react. He's concerned for his son and angry with Sue Ellen. Why doesn't Ellie share Jock's feelings? The rest of the family seems more concerned with Sue Ellen's well being. I can't blame Pam because she has every reason in the world to hate J.R. But I can't understand Bobby and Ellie. Bobby's intention to pay Sue Ellen's bail and get her a lawyer was ridiculous. My vote for line of the day would be when Jock told Bobby, "Like hell! Sit down Bobby!"

4. I think that Bill deserves one more:

Also, when J.R. said that Sue Ellen could not see John Ross, that should have been the end of it. That should not have been a majority rules decision. Crippled or not, he's still the boy's father. Is John Ross being raised by committee with Sue Ellen absent? Did J.R. surrender his parental rights along with his job after he got shot? Ellie did not even seek J.R.'s consent before arranging visitation.

3. I think that it's Mike's turn. I owe a lot to Mike as the elder statesman of the AHNs - he always gives me a lot to think about, not to mention laugh at.

Regarding JR and Sue Ellen tumbling onto their bed on Friday: we could all see this one coming but what was somewhat surprising is that Sue Ellen was naive enough to think that this suddenly cured all the problems in her marriage (as she haughtily tells Dr. Elby). Then she snatches Elby's water glass from his hand, a subtle gesture that she's now in charge of not only her marriage but her relationship with Elby too.

2. I think that I'll give Mike one more as well. This one came after the new Raoul and Theresa were unveiled on Wednesday.

This bring me to a criticism of the casting people on this show. Is the reason we have so many different Raoul's and Teresa's some sort of subtle prejudice against Hispanics? Do the casting people believe that these roles are so much wallpaper and that since they are   Hispanic servants that no viewer will know or care if they continue to run different actors through here as long as they are all named Raoul and Teresa?

1. I think that next week's set of episodes may be the best ever. What I mean by that is that they may be the best SET of five consecutive episodes of Dallas. There's not a really fantastic episode per se, or even an abundance of great scenes or occurrences. But in terms of just telling stories with great dialogue and character interactions, we may have a winner.
After thinking long and hard about which episodes were the best, and even doing a poll about it [hey, that reminds me, I haven't posted those results, have I? No. Well, I will soon.] I realized that picking just one episode was rather easy. Even picking four or five of them was very easy. But picking one syndicated week and saying, "Yeah...that's the best"...not easy. And I really think it marks a turning point in the show because Patrick Duffy turns a huge corner here, both as an actor and as a character. Most of what goes on this week centers around Bobby and his efforts to juggle all of the conflicting forces in his life, as manipulated by JR. It really reinforces him as the true hero and babyface of this series as he withstands the challenge he's been given.
Oh, and other stuff happens too. Mostly things that were set up later last week, like Lucy and Mitch's relationship; Pam's continual search for her mother, for which the rest of us are expected to put our lives on hold; and Ray finally gets forgiven for that whole statutory rape thing from Season 1.

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Saturday, October 16

10. I think that I had better say a few words about what happened this week. Just for anyone who was confused: Wednesday and Thursday's episodes were aired out of order; Friday's episode, the cliffhanger, was supposed to immediately followed Tuesday's episode. I daresay that for that someone's sake, TNN had better not pull this kind of thing again without a really damn good reason.

9. I think I'm going to have to make my job on this column a little bit easier, while at the same time give some of my faithful AHNs some air time. Most of the time my actual thoughts from this column come straight from things that they submit, so I think it'll be easier just to let you know what THEY think.

8. I think that I'll go first. Damn, that episode on Friday was well done. The ominous music, the eerie mood created by all the goings-on, and the speed at which things moved all came together to produce a true masterpiece. As AHN Kyle once told me, "That's a damn fine outing." It's very hard for us to appreciate nowadays what a maverick idea this was. Dallas was a show in its second year of existence, and it really didn't have the identity as a show which we take for granted today. Can you imagine how much talk there would be if a show like Friends featured on-screen full frontal nudity? That's what this was like in 1980.
I didn't experience the summer of "Who Shot JR" myself - I was too young. I'm sure there are some people out there who did, and I'd be interested to hear your recollections of it. I've read some things about it - how it literally took America by storm to see this on TV. "I shot JR" T-shirts were all the rage; people actually phoned up CBS, outraged at what took place [they honestly felt that no matter how bad JR was, he didn't deserve to be shot]; and bookies in Las Vegas put out public odds on who the killer was. John Ross was listed at 100-1.

7. I think that, despite the silliness of airing "Mastectomy" out of order, these two episodes are much more well done then they are given credit for, especially Part 2. It's had to keep in mind that these were done twenty years ago, and today public knowledge and attitude about breast cancer is much more sensible than it used to be. But still, some of the issues that we say portrayed in Thursday's episode prevail: women who have mastectomies still lose a good deal of their own self-esteem and self-worth; many believe that they become less attractive to their partners, and many men unfortunately fuel that feeling. And many women can't bring themselves to deal with the reality of what it's all about, like Lucy. Like Friday's episode, we've seen it done so many times before that maybe we've become oblivious to it, but when we contextualize what the writers did at the time they did, it's quite an accomplishment.

6. I think that's it's AHN Pam's turn.

Nice use of technique by Dr. Elby when he made Sue Ellen get her own glass of water.   He was making her be dependant on herself rather than others.  Even something as simple as getting her own water is a step in the right direction for Sue Ellen, now maybe she can learn to be more self reliant in making real decisions in her life. Of course, we already know she does this eventually, but that's beside the point.

5. I think that I was going to comment myself on how vicariously great it was to see JR mess up lives, but AHN Mike really put it best:

Wasn't it great how Jock took Vaughn Leland's words and crammed them down his throat and then watched him choke on them. A deal is a deal, asshole, just like you said. And could anything have been more enjoyable than watching JR calmly and grinningly stick it to Cliff on Ewing 23? Actually, coming close was Harry McSween at Kristen's apartment when he told
her he had a warrant for her arresst on charges of protitution and he looked at Alan with a huge shit-eating grin on his face and said "Is she any good?". Or maybe Harry in JR's office responding to JR's query about whether they had a girl Alan had raped. "Sure, JR. Blonde, brunette or redhead?"

It's so well done that you can't help but smile while you feel disgusted.

4. I think that, given a decent makeup and hair person, Don Starr [Jordan Lee] could have made a great career out of portraying Hitler in historical dramas.

3. I think that it's worth pointing out that Pam swept the Pam awards this week. Two reasons: first of all, she looks really good. And second of all, for the most part, she kept her dialogue to a minimum.

2. I think that I'll repeat a comment that a made last year. I saw many posts on the newsgroup last year with complaints that the answer to the question of Who Shot JR is rather obvious, especially since the person who did it [I'm trying really hard not to give it away, for the benefit of those who don't know] said that he or she would do it. But come on, folks. Suppose you didn't know. Would you really have guessed correctly? By my count, Cliff, Alan Beam, Kristin, Vaughn Leland, and Sue Ellen were all heard as directly promising to "stop" JR. You also could not rule out anyone in the cartel, the recently widowed Marilee Stone, perhaps not even Pam. So if you're smugly thinking to yourself, "Oh, it's so obvious," think again.
Just as an aside, for those who have seen 'Who Shot Mr. Burns' on the Simpsons: I got it right. I guessed that Maggie did it. But I didn't know for sure until I saw it, and I was just as surprised as anyone else.

1. I think that it's time to talk about next week. I've actually started watching these episodes in anticipation of next week. Just some things I've noticed: the pace of the episodes is a little bit slower, but that's okay because the acting is MUCH better, probably because most of it is done by Linda Gray. Certainly I don't think I'll surprise anybody by saying that 90% of the action has to do with solving the mystery of who shot JR. And I don't think I'm going to say too much about what's going to happen...if you want to know, you can go ahead and read the summaries. I think I'll just hold off till next week. 

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Friday, October 8

10. I think that I deserve yet another smackdown for assuming that everybody knows what "Dallas: The Early Years" is all about. I've gotten a few pieces of mail this week from people who are asking me what the heck the Marquee on the main page is trying to say.
For anyone who doesn't know, let me spell it out: On November 18, from 8 to 11 PM Eastern/Pacific, TNN will be airing The Early Years. This is a movie that was made in about 1987 [I believe] in which JR tells a reporter all about the backstory of Dallas. We are taken back to the 1951 Ewing barbecue where Jock and Digger had their final big split-up, and it gives us a glimpse of how what we are seeing during the series came to be. It will be quite entertaining, you can be sure of that. Of course, this site will have full coverage of it, including a summary, nitpicks, comments, etc. Very soon TNN will also air the two reunion movies, "JR Returns" and "War of the Ewings", which were aired in 1995 and 1998 respectively. These movies continue the saga beyond the 1991 cliffhanger in which JR apparently commits suicide.

9. I think I really hated the way Tuesday's episode ended. Along with Monday's episode, it almost seemed like a step backwards to Season 1 where we had an episode [in this case two] which took the plot absolutely NOWHERE. It was as if the authors were determined to tell us a tale of three relationships, and to hell if nobody thought it was entertaining. Everyone's relationship undergoes a crisis; people have to make seemingly difficult decisions; nothing gets resolved; let's change the sets and do the next script. This is way too Dawson's Creek for me.

8. I think that it's finally time to get the Babes and Hunks poll rolling. I've gone through the archives and prepared a list of names and photos for people to leer at, and you the viewing audience will finally get to have your definitive say about who's the fairest of them all. Watch for it this weekend.

7. I think I'm really having a hard time coming up with words to say about the Pam character. Frankly, I'm still waiting for her to do something RIGHT. But I've scanned the upcoming summaries and realized that if I wait for that to happen, I'll have to wait until the New Year or later to talk about it.
During the first two series runs, I seem to recall thinking many times that Bobby Ewing didn't deserve his jewel of a wife. For all her faults, Pam is beautiful, loving, caring, and sensible. She's got issues - who doesn't? - and sometimes she's more emotionally needy than your average person, but that's life, right?
Well, at this point in time I'm thinking I was dead wrong. As of this moment, I feel that Pamela Barnes doesn't deserve her jewel of a husband. She envisions her perfect life with him as being a Utopia away from the real world [did anyone else think it was a coincidence that the title of the first episode after Patrick Duffy returned to the show in 1986 was "Return to Camelot"?] She doesn't reciprocate the unqualified love she receives from him with the respect that he deserves. Unconsciously or not, she tramples over his feelings at the drop of a hat without taking the time to envision his side of things. And worst of all, I don't really think she understands or trusts him the way she should and frankly is incapable of doing so.
Since I don't have most of the upcoming episodes on tape, I don't remember a lot of the details about what happens in the next few seasons as far as nuances of relationships go. But at this rate, I'm getting the feeling that by January, I'll be seriously cheering when Katherine Wentworth splits up this marriage by any means necessary.

6. I think that Wednesday's episode was put together almost solely to get some mileage out of Charlene Tilton, who becomes the forgotten woman over the next week. Steve Kanaly languishes in the sidelines too, but we've already talked about that. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the key for the writers in working with the current cast is to create triangular relationships. They succeeded by putting Lucy in the middle of Alan and Kristin, and then they decided to pull her out. Now she's got nothing. We saw a bit of a Ray interlude earlier in the week with Donna, but there was no third party there to make this storyline interesting or give it any momentum. Contrast this to Dusty complicating Sue Ellen and JR's relationship, and Jenna coming between Pam and Bobby. At least we cared what happened there.

5. I think I've put off talking about this whole master plan of Sue Ellen's long enough. Here's my take on the situation:
Simply put, Sue Ellen does not have the ovariological fortitude to pull this kind of thing off. This is wholly by design; the producers need her to be gutless at this point. That's exactly why she's going about it the way she is - telling JR exactly what she plans to do and daring him to stop it.
The best analogy I can come up with for this takes me back about ten years or so. I used to be a freak for the game of chess. During my teens, I would spend an awful lot of time hanging around with people who were a lot better than me at the game. Sometimes these guys would go to exhibitions where a touring grandmaster from Europe or Asia would be playing and they'd spend hours beforehand practicing like crazy, studying the grandmaster's games and his style. And they'd go to the exhibition and some would even play the grandmaster's favorite opening sequence of moves, convinced that they had found some new wrinkle that no one had ever discovered before and they were sure to become instant sensations.
What this sort of cocksure person relies on is the fact that the grandmaster is playing 50 different games of chess simultaneously; and since the challenger has only one game to concentrate on, he figures his odds of winning are pretty good. But you know what happens? All 50 guys are thinking the same thing and all 50 guys lose [well, one or two of them might draw, but that's it.] They "play the man", by trying to psych the grandmaster out, rather than "playing the board" by trying to win the game. The simple reason that their strategy does not work is that the grandmaster has played a million times more games in his head than any of his challengers have played with pieces, and the psychological tricks don't faze him because he's seen it all before.
In Sue Ellen's chess game with JR, she's playing the man rather than the board. From past experience, she knows [or believes] that JR has more weapons in their fight than she does; so she figures that she'll just have to be smarter than him. So she's more focused on outwitting JR and taking him off of HIS game than in executing her own game plan. But to wily grandmaster JR, that's just a sign that he has to be patient and wait for his opponent to make one mistake. And then, Rook to King 8. Check and mate.
As an aside to this, I really must say that I don't think Sue Ellen is really using her maternal instincts here either. She already feels guilty about leaving her son; certainly she must realize that JR is going to say she abandoned him and is therefore an unfit mother. If she doesn't realize that, then it's just another sign that she's more interested in playing the man than the board.

4. I think that at this point in the series, Mary Crosby equals ratings. I don't know if it's just coincidence or not, but I find that the more Kristin there is in an episode, the better the episode seems to be. Perhaps it's just because more Kristin means more JR and Sue Ellen, and they're the only two interesting characters right now.

3. I think that I was originally going to take this slot to say that I didn't like anything at all about Jenna #2 as portrayed by Francine Tacker, but I've changed my mind. There is one thing I liked about her: she's a good foil for Pamela. Unlike Morgan Fairchild or Priscilla Presley, the producers went out of their way [as much as can be done in two hours] to make this Jenna Pam's equal in non-superficial ways. During her argument with Pam on Tuesday, I thought this Jenna might actually stand a chance in hell of winning the debate. I never felt that way about the other two actresses.

2. I think that, in spite of their pussyfooting around the last few episodes, the writers have done a great job bringing all of the characters and plots together in preparation for the cliffhanger. Even Friday's episode shows a lot of promise that the next few episodes will definitely not be boring. They even got Jock and Ellie involved. Good job, guys.

1. I think that it's that time again...time to talk about next week. Well, I think everyone knows that Monday's episode is the direct continuation of what we saw on Friday. Jock is tried, a whole lot of things are said, and a whole lot of secrets are told. Then on Tuesday comes "Wheeler Dealer", which sets the final wheels in motion. It's a great episode in which a lot of suspense is very quietly built up, so much so that you honestly don't really see what's coming.
Then of course we take an interlude of two days so that TNN can show us "Mastectomy". It's going to be totally ridiculous to see these episodes given that two people who will be dead by Tuesday will be miraculously resurrected.
And then Friday is the mother of all cliffhangers. Nowadays we consider this sort of thing to be old hat, but if you really step back and think about it, it is truly phenomenal the way the writers turn JR from a semi-evil mean dude into a despicable devil's novice in the matter of an hour. The action goes so fast you almost miss it if you blink.

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Saturday, October 2

10. I think that Geocities is starting to get to me. I just learned this week that because they still have some server "issues", some of my uploads don't get through properly. This has the obvious result of pages being loaded as incomplete; the summary and nit pages, being the largest, are most likely to be affected.
I've got two choices here: either I continually check to make sure that the pages are complete [which I don't mind doing]. Or I break up each summary and nit page in bunches of ten or something like that. I don't want to do that because I know it's really convenient to be able to view each season at a glance; but I'm aware that it's difficult and time-consuming to load an entire page which can reach up 500 KB size, which is why I decided to make a separate page for current nits and summaries. I'd really appreciate some feedback on this.

9. I think I'm going to have partially retract something I said last week. I called TNN's decision to delay airing both parts of "Mastectomy" until October 13 and 14th 'incomprehensible'. Well, it turns out that statement was somewhat short-sighted: October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and apparently October 15th is National Mammography Day. So that's why they decided to hold off.
I certainly have no problem with this decision from this point of view - my mother happens to be a survivor, and if someone feels that airing this show in conjunction with other public service announcements is going to help increase awareness, then that's great. But even if TNN is really so interested in making this worthy public statement, why did they have to forego showing "Mastectomy" in its normal order? I for one would have no objection to seeing it last week and then having it re-run on the 13th and 14th, even if it meant cutting two days out of the schedule.

8. I think I'd like to know what the producers had in mind for Donna at this point. Certainly based on what we see in future seasons, I don't think we're supposed to envision Donna as a horny woman looking to jump Ray's bones every chance she gets. Frankly, it's perplexing.

7. I think that for the time being we may have to launch a FREE KEN KERCHEVAL campaign. Cliff was the focus of so much that was happening this week and yet except for Thursday's episode [and a bit of Monday], he was almost invisible.

6. I think that TNN is still cutting more than their fair share of scenes from these shows. During the first run-through of Dallas which began in 1996, I remember a lot more scenes with Pam taking care of John Ross. A lot of that has disappeared from this and the last run-through. Disappointing. Not that I really wanted to see more of Pam playing with baby, but it makes me wonder what else we're missing.

5. I think that, speaking of the baby, I hate the way everyone calls him "Baby John". He's John Ross, damn it!

4. I think that I was nice to see both of John Ross's parents actually hold him this week. It was also nice for him to be able to get out of the house on Friday. Too bad it was only for a blood test.

3. I think that Thursday's episode totally rocked. It's a shame that the Alan/Kristin/Lucy triangle is put on hold for a few days next week, because right now that's the most interesting part of the show. Certainly unless the writers plan on having Pam smarten up any time soon [and I don't think it's a spoiler to say that's not really going to happen] then I really don't want to see much of her.

2. I think that, for some reason, I really don't want to rant about Pam too much. I certainly wouldn't be saying anything that everybody doesn't already know by reading the past few columns or the nit pages. I'll just summarize it by saying that for someone as  emotionally dependent on the people around her as she is, she makes  some of the worst judgments and decisions about who to trust, who to love, and what to believe. It doesn't help that she has a husband who sets feminism ahead by a millenium by apologizing to her for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Would Pam be so understanding if Bobby said that he had made a career decision which was important to him, and needed time to deal with all of the problems he was facing? Well, that's not really a rhetorical question: in a few weeks we will find out that the answer is no.
I'm trying to remember what exactly I liked about Pam as a character. If you had asked me two months ago whether at the beginning of October I'd be more interested in Pam or Sue Ellen, I would have said it was a no-brainer. But I would have been wrong. Certainly in the beginning Pam's character was fine. I remember hating her during her ice age and then again in Season 4 when she went psycho - but in between I recall warming up to her. I CANNOT remember why.
On a side note here: it's really odd [by today's standards] how the topic of contraception is never brought up by either of these two. Was it really too racy for a 1980 audience? Even if it doesn't completely assuage Pam's fears about having a child or making love to her husband, shouldn't it be mentioned briefly?

1. I think that it's finally time to talk about next week. Monday episode is entitled "Jenna's Return", which makes the premise here pretty obvious. What's not so obvious is that two subplots are interwoven with the main Pam and Bobby plot - one for Ray and Donna, and one continuing the JR/Sue Ellen/Dusty triangle. Be prepared for a lot of relationship issues which continue into the Tuesday's "Sue Ellen's Choice".
Then we push these relationships aside and go back to the Alan/Kristin/Lucy thing for Wednesday and Thursday, with the JR and Sue Ellen saga still unfolding. It all comes together Friday with "Jock's Trial, Part I", where we find out more about that mysterious skeleton Ray dug up on Monday and get ready for next week's awesome cliffhanger.

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Saturday, September 25

10. I think it's been another banner week for the site, as the counter zooms above 60,000 hits. While my life is still kind of a mess, it's always been nice to be able to shut the world out for a while, sit around with my laptop and do some work on it. After some thinking, I've decided I want to apologize to anyone who might have thought I was ignoring them or being somewhat curt or abrupt in my e-mail. It wasn't anything personal...as I've said, it's just been a rough couple of weeks for me. Keep the cards and letters coming.

9. I think something disturbing has just come to my attention. Someone pointed out that there are other Dallas sites out there that appear to be using some of the information for this site, such as stuff from the tote board and the nit pages. In many cases, it's out and out plagiarism.
Let's get some things straight: this site is designed to be fun and informative and I think it's pretty obvious that I and several other people put a lot of work, effort, and thought into it. I certainly don't have a problem with references to it from other sites; and in the past other webmasters have requested to borrow some ideas or material. I have allowed this to happen where I deem it appropriate. But I certainly don't take kindly to the thought that other people are doing this as a matter of course.
I have no hard evidence that any material from this site has been plagiarized, so I certainly don't intend on pursuing the matter. Frankly, without tooting my own horn excessively, I think that the Dallas fans of the Internet would know whether a certain piece of material originally came from this site if they saw it somewhere else, so I'm not worried about that. It's just that the whole attitude that I've gotten from some Dallas webmasters is really disturbing.
Just for the record, I'd like to point out that people have forwarded things to me that they found on other sites which they believed would be appropriate for this site. If possible, I've always inquired for permission to use such items; and I always make every effort to ensure that proper credit is given. It's not a big thing - it's a little thing. But I think it's important.

8. I think it's obvious that I need to say a few words about TNN's silly decision to delay airing both parts of Mastectomy. I think it's incomprehensible. Despite the fact that other than ECW Wrestling and Rollerjam, Dallas is the biggest ratings-getter for the station, they really seem to have a cavalier attitude about its airings. I for one, and I'm sure most of you out there are with me, wouldn't give a flying fidoo if they only aired it ONCE a day as long as they did it every weekday and did it consistently without making us scramble for our TV guides every week. I really don't see that that's too much ask.
On the other hand, their decision does help me illustrate a brief point: a lot of what we are currently seeing on Dallas is still a bit haphazard because the producers still need the flexibility of abandoning the ongoing storylines once in a while in order to fulfill a contractual obligation or save themselves some money. Monday's episode, "The Dove Hunt", is a good example of that. It certainly seemed like an episode that belonged to last season, and most of the footage of the boys in Louisiana probably WAS from last season or at least early this season. The producers just put some window dressing around it to make it look less out of place, and then they had that last scene with Kristin to seal the deal and finalize the illusion that we were "current". People pointed out that it might have been a nit that Kristin was at Southfork at all, since at that point she had moved into her condo. Quite right! This episode was likely meant to be aired as #32 or #33, before Kristin leaves the ranch. Think about it - would it have mattered? No.

7. I think that, as a final word about Monday, I personally feel the episode's only real appeal is because Jim Davis is quite good in it - otherwise it's sort of ordinary.

6. I think that Tuesday's episode truly sucked. The only thing separating that episode from anything we saw in Season 13 was some slightly better acting and more hooters.

5. I think I want to revisit something that I meant to put in this column a few months ago. It's about "The Ewings", in quotation marks.
I remember this striking me because near the end of Season 10 when Ewing Oil was about to be taken away by the Justice Department, Ellie came to Ewing Oil and gave JR and Bobby a dressing down about what they did to their father's legacy. I recall being rather disgusted at Ellie because she basically declared "The Ewings" to be dead. I also recall thinking how interesting it was that in the first few seasons we heard the term "The Ewings" a lot, especially from people like Cliff and Donna, because the conflicts usually involved the family against outsiders. In the middle seasons, most of the drama focused on the characters duking it out against each other, which made the concept of "The Ewings" less important. Then it was revived in Season 10 when Mrs. Scottfield exacted her revenge on "The Ewings".
"The Ewings" is a conceptual thing - and it's a difficult one to describe or delineate. Who are "The Ewings"? When Cliff talks about ruining "The Ewings", who does he mean? Anyone whose last name is Ewing? Certainly he means Jock and JR...but is Bobby "The Ewings"? Is Ellie "The Ewings"? Pam? Sue Ellen? Lucy? Jack, Jamie, John Ross, Christopher? What about Ray, who is Jock's son but doesn't use his name?
What would your criteria be here? Do you have to be a blood Ewing, and those who enter the family by marriage are somehow not "The Ewings"? That would include Lucy and Ray, but not Miss Ellie. Or is "The Ewings" an attitude of wanting it all and believing in the ratrace of the high-stakes power and money game? That would include Lucy and Sue Ellen, but it really wouldn't include Ray, and occasionally not even Bobby.

4. I think the "Rodeo" episode seems to have been a surrogate barbecue for this season. It had the same sort of atmosphere - people meeting new people and discoveries being made.

3. I think that the reason the show is getting much more interesting is because the writers are making a great effort to create interesting triangular relationships. For instance, introducing the Dusty character to complicate Sue Ellen's life is great, especially since her triangle with JR and Kristin is sort of hands-off for her right now. Now everyone seems to have a triangle or two and all the plots revolve around JR in one way or another - he's kind of in the center of all of the triangles. Contrast this to later seasons where the plots are rather loosely interlinked; seems like the same two or three people work together in scenes and there's very little crossover between storylines. Of course, Ray doesn't even have a circle around him, much less a triangle. That's the price he pays for statutory rape - the writers are still waiting for us to forget that Ray and Lucy spent all that time in the hay.

2. I think that Friday's episode, like Mastectomy which we will see soon, is another great example of why Barbara Bel Geddes won an Emmy for this season. In that episode Ellie had only two really meaningful scenes - the final ones - and they didn't amount to a whole lot of air time. But she was perfect. Absolutely perfect. She had an aura and a demeanor which I can only describe as regal. No nonsense; straight to the point; let's face facts. She makes what might be the toughest decision of her life without batting an eyelash, because she knows it has to be done. She walks into Ewing Oil, signs that piece of paper with no hesitation and then says she wants to go home. The woman you saw there, ladies and gentlemen, was the REAL Eleanor Southworth Ewing. The one who whimpered every time her sons would fight in later seasons was a cheap imitation of the real thing.

1. I think that next week things continue to improve as they have been doing. The show truly becomes serialized towards the end of the week, and the temptation to take a week off and do a focus episode clearly disappears. We start out with a GREAT episode on Monday which Linda Gray carries as only she can. This one, as I've said before, is not to be missed - this is really the point where Sue Ellen starts to become a dynamic and truly likable character. At times her angles have been repetitive and occasionally she's been downright boring but not after Monday. Tuesday's episode is YET ANOTHER detour from the regular storylines in order for the producers to establish a foundation for the proposed spin-off of Knots Landing. It's certainly a treat for fans of that show - a glimpse at how it all began, and so forth.
Then we return to the here and now with the other three episodes which I feel are really a turning point for the series as a whole. The plots start to intertwine and lead us towards the impending cliffhanger in a few weeks. Donna Culver returns to give Steve Kanaly a reason for drawing a salary; Pam continues to be her petulant self and continues to make us wonder what Bobby ever saw in her rather than ON her; an Alan/Kristin/Lucy triangle develops, with JR pulling the strings; and this whole John Ross paternity issue is finally resolved at the end of the week.