Dallas Nitpicker Central (Reborn)

Ten things I thinkI think this week:

Friday, February 26

10. I think we can do without the stupid Margo Smith ads. This is off-topic of course, but does anyone find those ads as stupid as I do? And that yodeling...sheesh. I'd rather hear a drunken Ellie sing.

9. I think that Friday's episode is the last straw in Ellie's degeneration. Everyone commented on how disturbing it was to see Ellie react the way she did to seeing Clayton and Laurel together. I cannot for the life of me believe that this is the same woman who told Ray to get her the shotgun out the hall closet. Makes me think she should have run off with Wes Parmalee or something.

8. I think that, speaking of sellouts, John Ross sold out his father and told Sue Ellen about his plan to get at Weststar. As was commented, at the very least he should have said "oops" or something. The way it was done, it looked quite deliberate.

7. I think I can't think of anything to say about April this week. It's nice to see that she's getting some storylines, but it's really a shame that it comes at the cost of making her seem like a moron.

6. I think that the problem of boneheaded, repetitive dialogue is getting much worse than it used to be. It seems that whereas there would only be one or two scenes in which things would get cabbaged or unduly talked about, we're finding at least four or five in each episode.

5. I think that I still believe that JR's plan to get Bobby to put in to his fight with Weststar was not very well thought out. I've documented some of this on the nitpick pages already. But one final thought: if I was JR, I don't think I would have actually needed to go out and find a REAL relative of Jeff Farraday. Why not just pay someone to PRETEND that she was Jeff's sister. JR already knows most of the tawdry details about Bobby's relationship with Jeff, so why couldn't he just tell someone about it and have her distract Bobby that way? The only reason I can think of is that Bobby might actually be smart enough to investigate whether or not she really was Jeff's sister - but there's no evidence that he's even done that.

4. I think I want to repeat my offer to all of the ladies out there. If you don't mind having a creepy guy hang around your house all day and watch you do your business, e-mail me. If it's good enough for Laurel Ellis, why not give it a try?

3. I think that cast members who direct episodes should really take a step back and examine their work. There was quite a bit of this going on this week, and every time a cast member directed, it seemed like his or her dialogue and/or acting was very lame. Just seemed that way to me. 

2. I think that the only comment I have about Jennaray is that we had better not have any more towel scenes like early in the week. Thanks, but no thanks.

1. I think that this season has gone by awfully fast! In only two weeks, we'll have the cliffhanger. A lot will happen between now and then, and while there are lots of twists and turns, most of the plots have already been established. It will be a lot of fun - not like the early 80's, but definitely stay tuned.

Friday, February 19

10. I think I'm MUCH happier this week since I swore off of the Dallas newsgroup forever. I know I said that I would never post there again, but I didn't delete my subscription on the off-chance that I might actually find something useful there. How wrong I was. I was goaded into more arguments and then finally decided it wasn't worth it. Good riddance.

9. I think that I must answer the question that almost EVERY AHN and other submitter of nits has asked at one point or another. The answer to the question is this: yes. April is that dumb.

8. I think I'm glad Clayton is finally DOING something other than being lovesick over Ellie. He reminds me of Billy on Melrose Place when all Billy could do was think about Alison. Remember how pathetic and disappointing he was? Same thing for Mr. Farlow. At least now, he's paired up with a nice-looking English babe who doesn't seem to have a thing for sack dresses.

7. I think that since Casey Denault seems to be out of favor with "The Cartel: The New Class", he should track Dandy down and go into business together. That way, he might leave town too. [We can only wish...]

6. I think that everyone knows how I feel about Ray Saget...or is that Bob Krebbs? Either way, the only thing missing from the Krebbs household is an annoying know-it-all five-year-old, and John Stamos to provide comic relief. Maybe the Krebbses should adopt Christopher...then these segments would be truly unbearable. In cyber-conversation with Val, I pointed out that I've been very disturbed at the prospect of Ray being a dad ever since the Tony incident. Val countered that she's been disturbed at this prospect since the LUCY incident. At least his talks with Charlie make us laugh with all the teenage sex innuendos.

5. I think that bringing back the DOA is SO LAME on the part of the producers. Is there no other way to get Ellie a storyline? This is pathetic.

4. I think that the next Poll of the Week is going to be rather comprehensive. Along with the AHNs, I have been debating the various physical virtues of Dallas babes and I think it's time we took the debate public. Just so everyone knows, I put Sly in my "Group 2", but after Friday's episode, she is instantly in Group 1 - as long as she dresses like a whore. Even so, she maintained her self-respect to some degree, which is why she's so much more likable than Mandy.

3. I think I really want JR to get Ewing Oil back, if only for John Ross's sake. Especially after the conversation they had Friday. I love these scenes. They're way better than any talk that Bobby and Christopher could ever have. Probably because Christopher is so annoying.

2. I think I'm glad that Jenna was finally called a hypocrite to her face by someone. It turned out to be Charlie, and I think it was just a matter of time. She is absolutely, unequivocably the most two-faced person ever to grace the Dallas TV screen. Every attitude she takes is self-contradicting. It's a by-product of the life she has chosen to make for herself, but it's hardly excusable on that account.

1. I think that I'm really confused about the direction that the show has taken. In some storylines, we see plot twists that are reminiscent of the old Dallas that we all loved. But at the same time, so much that we see is lame and uninteresting. I don't think that anyone cares too much about Ray and Jenna - if we wanted to see parents dealing with teenage kids, there are plenty of other shows to watch. It's kind of the same with JR and Kimberly - been there, seen that happen before. Some have suggested that this is a consequence of the diminished cast; well, maybe. But in 1980 the cast was roughly this size and the storylines were much fresher. No more good storylines in the writers' heads? Hard to believe.

Friday, February 12

10. I think I'm too tired to come up with a really good "I think" column this week, but here goes nothing.

9. I think that for the first time since I began this column, I don't have a public service announcement to make. I will take a moment and thank you all again for your tremendous - we're now getting over 200 hits a day! That's awesome. And while you're surfing, do stop by the Photo Gallery, which has just had a major update, including the Angelica Nero fashion file and a whole boatload of Ramboski pictures.

8. I think that I'm totally fed up with having five "set-up" episodes in a row. I actually find myself to be kind of bored waiting for SOMETHING to actually happen. We've seen hints of it, and after Friday's episode we can see some obvious sources of conflict on the horizon. It's about time.

7. I think I kind of like the Casey Denault character. Though some will look at him as little more than a country hick, presaging the imminent arrival of Cally Harper, and other may see him as a Ramboski wannabe, I think the writers could have done a lot worse. Take Dandy, for instance.

6. I think that I'm glad that Ray and Jenna have been kept out of the forefront for a while. For those who have been dreading it, I'll warn you: it doesn't last long. They will be back in focus this week.

5. I think I still dislike Dandy. It's a real shame that the writers can find no one else to pair up with Cliff at this point. Even April, who's begging for a real storyline, is relegated to being toyed with by Bobby and trying to figure out the enigmatic Nicholas Pearce.

4. I think that I would really like to see Nicholas Pearce and Mark Graison in a death match. I say Nicholas would win easily. The reason I say this is because I cannot for the life of me understand why people like Mark's character, but Nicholas isn't so popular. I just don't get it.

3. I think that everyone who thinks that the show has lost its edge should wait until Tuesday. There, you will see a very interesting plot twist which has been nicely kept quiet by the writers. Shades of the old Dallas.

2. I think that Kimberly Cryder is a decent addition to the show. Unlike most of JR's other paramours, she's actually a believable rival for Sue Ellen because she's rich and tries to act classy.

1. I think that I can't really find any words to discuss how I feel about the Lisa/Bobby/Christopher triangle. It's a neat idea how the writers invented a sister for Jeff Farraday. Must be something about Amy Stock's lackadaisical acting that makes me think they could have done a much better job.

Friday, February 5

10. I think I want to thank a certain someone for e-mailing me about something, and saying it in a way that hurt me quite deeply. I know this person did not mean to do this; he just brought up an issue to which I happen to be very sensitive, that's all. But that which does not cause my laptop to explode makes me stronger. In a way, I appreciate this person's words because it makes me realize once again just how important all of the support I get from the AHNs and the silent majority is to me. Because I can never say it often enough, let me say it now: Thanks to everyone who comes to this site regularly. You guys are the best.

9. I think that in lieu of Item 10 above, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: even though I take responsibility for the upkeep and maintenance of this site, I do NOT consider it MY site. It belongs to everyone who visits it, just like a sports team belongs to the fans - if they leave, then the game's over. If there is something that you would like to comment on, criticize, or see improved, let me know. I cringe at the thought of everyone patting me on the back and telling me that everything is great because it means that I'm not doing my job. And the same goes for the Photo Gallery. Already I've had comments that some of the pictures that lead you to character's pages aren't very flattering. Guess what? They've been changed.  

8. I think I am REAL glad to have AHN Val on board to provide a parent's perspective on the show. Especially now that parent-child relationships will be pushed to the forefront.

7. I think I don't even want to get started talking about the hokey Pam-in-bandages storyline. Let's just forget about that. The only thing I will say about it is that I think that bringing Katherine back for two episodes was totally lame. Even worse than bringing Jack back for two episodes and then letting him hit the road again.

6. I think that while I'm not the biggest Jeremy Wendell fan, he's a better character than Wilson Cryder in every describable way. Cryder is nothing but a jobber and fortunately [did you guess?] he's going to put in his place very soon, which he totally deserves.

5. I think that the sudden politically correct atmosphere regarding sex on the show is rather odd. [What a shame - just as Clayton started to appear frisky.] Of course, knowing what we know today, it makes sense to not have the characters appear so irresponsible in the bedroom - but they seem so awkward doing it. Nowadays, the topic of safe sex is handled much more tactfully on TV dramas. Somehow, on Dallas, it seems very forced.

4. I think I'm sad to have to start the abandoned Lucas meter, but it's important because otherwise I will have absolutely no interest in watching Ray and Jenna's antics this season. By next week, you'll know what I mean.

3. I think Nicholas Pearce, while really abrasive, is a great character. His harsh nature is simply to generate initial heat - at least you're interested in what makes the guy tick. Even after we get to know Nick and he becomes more involved in the show, he's still an interesting character, which I feel is a testament to Jack Scalia's acting. He's truly underrated. I just wish he would stop turning every little thing into "the perfect match".

2. I think the Dandy character really isn't very good. I don't want to knock him because he serves a very useful purpose with his presence, which allows us to have a great Cliff/Ellie scene after he leaves.

1. I think I want to put a different spin on the idea that the producers are trying to turn Victoria Principal into a bad memory. Clearly at this point they have no idea where they want to take Bobby and Christopher. Right now, they're milking the adoption angle as much as they can, but what after that? They need something else to do. I think they still hoped and prayed that either Vicki would come back someday, or at least they could recast her as someone. If they somehow managed the latter, then showing Vicki's face even once this season would have blown it for them. It's a shame. Jason noted that they didn't treat Patrick Duffy that way when Bobby 'died', but that was because the producers had obviously made a decision not to bring the Bobby character back that season. This would not have changed if Patrick Duffy hadn't reconsidered his position and I daresay that if Victoria Principal realized that she really didn't have as many career options as she thought and wanted to come back to the show, she'd be welcomed with open arms.