Season 1 (1978 - 1979)

Episode 6: Reunion, Part 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award:

None, really.

Angelica Award:

Toss up between Gary's bell-bottoms and Bobby's too-tight jersey-type pullover shirt thing.

Pam Award:

Pam during her dinner talk with Gary. An angel on earth...

Bobby Award:


April Award:


HNP Ahmer's Corner:

- In the opening scene, JR is sitting poolside with Sue Ellen, ogling his sister-in-law. He's got a towel with a "King of Diamonds" in the upper corner. Suddenly the talk turns to Gary; JR gets up from his seat and the towel is nowhere to be seen! It's not even discarded on the floor. Where'd it go?

- It's really convenient that Jimmy was patient enough to wait until Ray and Lucy were finished their conversation before he took off towards the Hot Biscuit.

- I know things happened really quickly in that Las Vegas hotel room, but Bobby should have realized that if Gary was really a hotel steward, wouldn't he have had a KEY to get into the room? Most maids and stewards do.

- Very convenient that Pam gets to answer the Southfork phone when Aunt Maggie calls. As JR says in about seven seasons from now, "Can't anyone pick up the phone around here?"

- And speaking of my darling, I can't help noticing how nicely her hair is done as she wakes up.

- Must be a tough week on the border. This "Raoul" fellow looks almost...Caucasian.

From Steve:

During an early scene JR is wearing a light colored plaid suit and then later, after JR has changed clothes, Gary appears at Southfork with Pam and Bobby and he is wearing the same suit JR was a few minutes ago (either that or its an identical suit) Only Gary is not wearing the coat, he's holding it and he has no tie on. From Andy:  Don't know if this counts as a nit, but did anyone notice that as Bobby and Pam got out of the pool today, they went to pick up their towels that were laying near the pool...yet it looked like the area near the pool was wet! Generally speaking, I usually like to dry off after swimming with a dry towel, but then again, they are the Ewings...

HNP Ahmer Responds: I wasn't looking close enough. Or perhaps TOO close. I was paying more attention to the disappearance of JR's towel.

From Matt Becker:

- At the end of yesterday's episode, when Miss Ellie announces that Gary's bringing Valene to Southfork, Bobby is wearing that ugly pullover sweater thing. In the beginning of today's episode, he's wearing a white dress shirt. I thought this could maybe be quite a bit later, but the rest of the Ewings are all wearing what they wore at the end of yesterday's episode. Wait...after re-watching the scene, they've almost all changed. Sue Ellen changed into a yellow dress, Jock's now wearing a plaid shirt...only Ellie and JR are the same.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This was a REALLY strange weekend [at least I THINK it was a weekend]. Certainly nearly all the activity that took place over these two episodes seemed to have happened over the course of three or four days. And on the day that Valene was at Southfork, I think EVERYONE changed into different outfits at least twice. Truly bizarre.

ANH Val's corner:

- Just a comment about the way Sue Ellen told JR that Daddy's gonna take him to the cattle auction tomorrow. That's the way I talk to my five-year old!!! No wonder JR was pissed. - The Southfork kitchen is smaller and has a much different layout than the one we know later in the series. It's uglier, too. 

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. I think it must be that area that we all think of being the front hallway to Southfork- you know, where people come in from. I guess that's what's really over there. The producers must have declared it "not Ewing enough", and I agree. Looks like the kitchen we had growing up.

- Also, there was another dining room right outside the kitchen door. This is in addition to the ugly metal set inside the kitchen, and the large formal dining room where the Ewings eat most of their meals. This is a room we've never seen before and will never see again.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Thank heavens!

ANH Jason's corner:

- Valene and Lucy talk about Gary and Val's courtship...  I believe Val says that Gary didn't touch her until after they were married.  Yet I thought the reason that they got married was because he had got her pregnant with Lucy (At least this is what Lucy says in Digger's Daughter....)   It could be that JR supplied her with her story so that is why the details don't match.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure that's why.

- Why did Lucy turn off the radio when Pam said that she liked the song?  I thought these two liked each other.  I am surprised that Pam took this kind of behavior.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Spoiled brat. Anything to tick someone off.

- Here's a time line consideration-  Lucy and Val have been seeing each other for months.  Pam says that the events of BBQ happened weeks ago.  So Lucy and Val presumably were meeting before BBQ.  Not exactly a nit but interesting.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps what Lucy means is that they've SEEN each other for months but have only been meeting for a little while.

- The implication is that Gary left when Lucy was an infant, probably maybe a year old at latest.  (In Digger's Daughter, Lucy says she was a baby when Val tried to get away with her.)  I assume that Gary has not seen Lucy since this point, yet Val says something like "The Gary that (Lucy) saw (as a child-)"  was a drunk and violent or something...    She is at least 17 now and Jock says something about the events of 16 years ago.   I guess my question is "Would Lucy even remember him?" Val seemed to think so.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I wondered about that too. I totally agree with your assessment of the matter, especially about Lucy's age. In the book, the implication is that Lucy was about two or so when Gary left, because she remembered it.

- An interesting spin on this is that Val continues to re-hash this story ad nauseum during the first season of Knots Landing.  We are even treated to a 'flashback" of 15 year old Val's flight from Southfork (with 30 something year old Joan Van Ark) and her running around in the woods with a waddled blanket that is supposed to be Lucy. She rushes up to her mom's hotel room and her mom throws her out.  Anyway, the blanket sure didn't look like it held a one year old.  Granted, it is really hard to keep continuity between the shows but this was ludicrious.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That is the official story, according to both the Dallas and Knots Landing bibles. Lilimae Clements was with a man at the time, who believed she was just twenty or so. To have a teenaged daughter show up and blow her cover was impossible.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Wasn't that a different actor playing cousin Jimmy than in "Barbecue"?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yup.

- Also, Sue Ellen was absolutely Aprilish in his swimsuit. She must have gotten implants somewhere along the way. But at least she got a decent hairstyle for the first season rather than that mousy mini-season look.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I agree. Linda Gray's never been that well-endowed...I think that over the years, her shape changed. Bear in mind that at the time she was 38.

AHN Pam's corner:

- I have to mention this even though I'm sure it's quite obvious.  Pam said that it's been weeks since the barbecue.  Yet her hair has grown about six inches!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Surprisingly, no one else mentioned it. I guess all us guys were looking at other things.

- There was some really bad dubbing jobs in the first scene by the pool.  I realize mikes have trouble picking up clear audio when there is wind. But Jock and Ellie sounded like they were in an echo chamber or something. There was also some really bad dubbing during the Ray/Lucy conversation on their way to meet Jimmy.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed. They had a LOT of problems in this episode

. - Why was Pam upstairs changing in to her swimsuit rather than playing hostess and saying good-bye to their guests?  Bobby had to escort them to the door himself!  I can't believe she was in that much of a hurry to get down to the pool.  It's not like they don't have one at Southfork that she can swim in any damn time she pleases. Rude, rude, RUDE!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I have a theory about that. Jason says that some stuff before this scene was cut. I don't know all of the details, but a LOT of the women who were walking out the door looked like hookers. I don't think Pam wanted to be around that.

- Today Sue Ellen got to carry the empty purse, and an ugly one at that.  She put her car keys away and that purse was definitely empty, not one bulge. - Exactly what time was J.R. going in to the office anyway?  When he and Sue Ellen went in to the house and he poured himself a drink Sue Ellen said it wasn't even lunch time yet.  Ummm.....if he was going in to the office like a normal person it's barely BREAKFAST time! - Pam was rude again during this episode.  She should've let Gary sit in the front seat in Bobby's car, he's taller than she is.  He must've gotten leg cramps being crammed in back there. - When Lucy ran out to the stables to find Gary (BTW, how did she know he was there?) he asked her why she was up so early.  Early?  It looked to me like it was around 9:00 or 10:00, hardly early.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I agree. It might have been a week-end or something...Lucy probably asked someone where he went.

ANH Kyle's corner:

- It's not a big deal, but do Bobby and Gary really have to drink straight from the carton of milk? It's not like they're ten....just grab a couple of glasses! - Ellie, Ellie,'s RAW-OOOL (or Rah-OOL), not RAUL. You think she'd know that already.

HNP Ahmer Responds: The problem with these Rauls is that they KEEP CHANGING!

Episode 7: Reunion, Part 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award:

None, really.

Angelica Award:

Digger in his undershirt.

Pam Award:

Pam in her white sundress.

Bobby Award:

Gary. Again. Digger was close.

April Award:

Whoever let Digger drive to Southfork instead of keeping him in bed.

- Gary and Val ask each other if they've remarried. This raises the question...was there a divorce? According to the story, Gary just up and left because he couldn't put up with his family. Valene was forced to leave. They never met again until now. Did one file for divorce?

- When Pam is talking to Bobby before going over to Aunt Maggie's house, she suffers another cold spell. Someone knit her a sweater!

- This one is so ridiculous it's easy to miss. After we see Digger at Maggie's house the first time, he's in EXTREMELY bad shape. And yet somehow, he managed to drive over to Southfork...and Maggie [or someone] must have LET HIM! Why in the world would she let Digger get behind the wheel of Jimmy's car?

- And when Digger came over and demanded a bride-price [of sorts] for his daughter, why are Gary and Val so disgusted and ashamed by the whole thing? I can understand Gary perhaps, because he would at least appreciate Jock's history with Digger and what this whole thing is about. But Val hasn't been around the Ewings long enough to really understand what Digger's saying and asking...has she?

- Not a nit, just an observation: there's a really nice picture of the family in the study, which includes the new addition of Pamela! Very interesting. The Ewings recently had a photographer over?

ANH Val's corner:

When Pam returns from town, she is driving Bobby's Mercedes convertible, with the top down.  Bobby meets her at the driveway, and together they walk into the house.  On the way in, they exchange pleasantries with Jock, who is on his way outside.  We then see Jock walking out to a poolside table.  And what should we see, but Bobby's car--still parked in the driveway--but with the hard top in place!!!!!  Barely 30 seconds passed between car shots.  So how did a 100+ pound hard top get on the car in such a short duration????  Was this the work of the Convertible Fairy????

- There's more to this nit. When Pam came home, she parked to the left of JR's car at an ANGLE. The top was also down at this point. JR and Sue Ellen were having their own verbal sparring match at one of the poolside tables. Bobby met Pam at the car, and the two of them went inside. There, Pam and Jock then duked it out over Digger's condition. Jock then went outside. When he walked past the driveway, JR's car was gone (I guess he and SE went somewhere), and Bobby's car was parked PERPENDICULAR to the garage with the top up. This was NOT how Pam left it barely a minute earlier. - Check out the big family portrait in the study. Bobby isn't looking at the camera. While I know that is a publicity photo taken during Episode 1, we viewers are to assume that a professional was hired to take that picture. If that's the case, then Miss Ellie should demand her money back, or at least have them retake the picture. - There has been some dispute as to whether or not Valene took JR's money to leave the state. I don't think she took the money. Even though JR showed everyone the entry in the checkbook, that doesn't mean she took it. Knowing JR, he probably wrote the check, and merely hid it upstairs in his underwear drawer, or something This way, appears that Val took the money, making her look bad in Lucy's eyes.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Exactly. Valene makes this perfectly clear when she returns next season [Episode 33]. This is the turning point for her relationship with Lucy, who up till that point is completely disenchanted with her mother.

ANH Jason's corner:

- Bobby says something to Jock along the line of Gary not wanting something with the Ewing brand on it. Sue Ellen makes a great snide remark  "That gets to the heart of it." - Ray keeps the Ranch's books in his truck?  Sure is convenient for him to have them ready for Gary's inspection if needed.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent point. Can't believe I missed this.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Pam also caught a chill a few times at the hospital. Apparently in her rush to get to Digger she forget she wasn't pregnant anymore and continued the training of not wearing a bra so as to respond more quickly to emergency nursing situations. And she seems to be wearing this dress over more than one day. It's ubiquitous throughout the first half of the show. Did she visit Digger at the hospital and then again at her aunt's house in the SAME day? She's certainly wearing the same dress.

HNP Ahmer Responds: All of the action in this episode [until Gary wakes up and leaves Southfork] seems to have happened in the same day. And someone should really knit Pam a sweater.

- Would somebody please buy Valene a square meal? She looks like the poster child for anorexia. And those pencil thin eyebrows! In a couple of scenes they only go about half way across. - Dumb dialogue: Valene talking about how Miss Ellie raised Lucy "right". Yeah, if you're definition of "right" is a vindictive, spoiled brat with a promiscuous streak a mile wide. Did you notice how fast she sold Ray out when she suggested Gary could fire Ray and run the ranch himself? No wonder Ray felt obligated to suck up to Gary in an earlier scene despite not being able to look him in the eye over sleeping with his daughter.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess what Val means is that Ellie did a better job than she could have done. Probably true, even if it doesn't mean much.

- Exactly how is Gary intending to leave Southfork? By hitchhiking? He's carrying his suitcase to the front gate and the road.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess so.

ANH Kyle's corner:

- It seems odd that Valene and Gary would not discuss the potential of either of them being re-married until they were almost at Southfork. Geez, you'd think that would be one of the first things they asked each other.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not too sure about that...sort of awkward to ask in a way, don't you think?

- According to J.R this dummied up "IBM of Texas" is only functioning at 5-10% efficiency. Even though we have to assume that J.R. is making this all up, couldn't he have come up with something a little less outlandish? It is very unlikely that a company functioning at 5-10% would even last for more than a week, let alone turn a modest profit. Pretty ridiculous. - I don't think I've ever heard J.R. say "Dad" (as he did today) as opposed to "Daddy". Kind of strange (he says that "Dad and I will be supportive [of Gary's new venture]". Maybe that was more Hagman than Ewing during that scene.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I suppose you're right...or perhaps he just said "Daddy" really quick. Or perhaps MEANT to say Daddy really quick.

ANH Pam's corner:

- It seemed Bobby changed his clothes three times in one day!  This was supposed to be the same day as it was at the end of last episode.  We know this because Gary, Val and Lucy were going to leave for Southfork at that point and they were still in the same clothes when they arrived today.  Bobby was wearing that too-tight pull over shirt at the end of the last episode.  Today when Gary, Val and Lucy arrived at the ranch, Bobby was wearing one of his famous shirts unbuttoned to his navel.  Later, (everyone else was STILL wearing the SAME clothes) when Bobby told J.R. (outside) that he better not do anything to Gary, was wearing a stunning pull-over polo type shirt.  It's not impossible that he would have changed three times in one day, it's just a little strange.   Why would he have changed so often in one day?  It didn't seem like he did anything other than hang around the house all day.  Besides how could he leave.....PAM HAD HIS CAR AGAIN.....I just had to say I feel better.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't think he's the only person to have done this. I got the impression that there was a lot of costume changing for an episode that spanned a single day. The real world reason was obviously that it was so hot during filming that this was necessary.

- The staircase was different than in later years. When Bobby came down the stairs we could see straight up.  We also could see the same thing when he and Pam were going up the stairs later.  It seemed there was a window at or near the top also since there seemed to be light coming in.  This was not the case in later years, the starircase curved around all the way to the top and there was never any daylight streaming in.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think the cameras used different angles back then. Over the years, the camera guys got used to putting the camera in regular places that we became accustomed to.

- Bobby and Pam were almost upstairs when Digger arrived.  Yet they made it back downstairs and outside in record time while Digger and Jock had their fight.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It all happened so fast. Good one.

- Foreshadowing:  Val told Gary to leave Southfork and go to CALIFORNIA or anywhere.   But she specifically mentioned California.  Gee Val, what's so special about California?  Is there a nice house in a cul de sac you have all picked out?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I had that snide thought in the back of my head too, but I let it go.

Episode 8: Old Acquaintance

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Pam]

>  Pam:  "I don't plan on making a scene, do you?"

HNP Ahmer Responds: No Pam, of course you don't.  You track Bobby down at Jenna's and then start yelling at her about the paternity of her child and wake the child up.  Nah, you didn't create a scene at all.

Angelica Award:

JR's mismatched suits at the office.

Pam Award:

Pam wearing ANYTHING. If I had been old enough at the time, I would have dared Victoria Principal not to be sexy. Morgan Fairchild deserves a mention, I guess.

Bobby Award:

Probably would have to be the Bob-man by default.

April Award:

Pam for keeping Charlie's doll. Special mention should go to the Bob-man for being a total gimp to his wife. Hey, Jenna's beautiful...but you're married to PAM! Give your head a shake, Bob.

- JR and Pam both park right in front of the Ewing building, as is to be expected. Just shaking my head.

- When Bobby first meets Jenna, he tells her to scooch over so he can drive.'s JENNA's car, Bobby. Why can't she drive? Is that too much for your macho ego? And by the time they get to the park, Jenna seems a bit cold.

- Why is it that Jenna [who is certainly not married] has a a huge rock on her left hand? I know it can be tough to take off a wedding ring you've worn a long time, but come on.

- Something you'll never see again: someone at Ewing Oil the WAITING AREA! Usually people wait for JR or Bobby in their offices. Waiting in the outer office...what a concept.

- There's a continuity blip in JR's office when Pam arrives. They talk, Pam begins to turns away and there's a cut. Suddenly she is completely turned away and has almost taken a step.

- Why do Lucy and Pam have to pick up the phones when Bobby and Jenna call, respectively? The producers have already paid Raoul to show his face...would another scene have bankrupted them?

- Okay, here's one. Jewel is Charlie's favorite doll, right? Her most prized possession, right? So why in the world would she give it away to Pam so easily? I know that as a child I would never do this. Even if someone said they just wanted to look at my Winnie-the-Pooh, I'd tell them they'd have to fight me for it. Especially if it was some stranger I'd never seen before.

- And speaking of the doll, in the wide shot from behind the car, while Bobby and Jenna are talking, I don't see the doll in Pam's hands or in her lap. What did she do with it?

- And why in the world doesn't Pam give the darn thing BACK to Jenna before she leaves? I can't accept the fact that Jenna is clever enough to realize that if she lets Pam take the doll away, Bobby will be forced to bring it back to her and see her again.

- When JR comes over to Jenna's place, he immediately heads over to the liquor cart. Wait a minute...Jenna just moved in, and she's already got a liquor cart out in the livingroom? This seems like odd behavior for a single mother with a young child. Unless Jenna's got a habit we don't know about...I don't know what's more strange: this or the fact that the phone company's already set up Jenna's line.

- Back in Episode 1, Pam told JR that she didn't know how to ride horses. But today she seems like she's been riding her whole life! What gives?

- When Bobby is out shopping with Jenna, he's wearing an ugly jacket. Then he returns home to argue with Pam, and he's not wearing it. Nor do I readily see it in the car. Then he goes to Jenna's place and he's wearing it again. Not that this is impossible, just really weird. Did he stick in the trunk or something?

- Ellie convinces Pam to go and confront Jenna for Bobby. When they talk, it seems like mid-afternoon. Yet when Pam comes to Jenna's place, it's clearly dark. So she waited until after dinner to head over there? That's the only way I can explain the fact that she stopped to change into that red dress and it took her a few hours to wriggle her ample body parts into it. I guess she doesn't feel like arguing with Jenna wearing jeans.

From JREwing 354: - Here are a couple of nits for you regarding the geography of downtown Dallas. In the scene where JR and Bobby are talking outside of the Ewing Building, we clearly see that it is downtown.  However, the view from JR's office is looking towards downtown.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Is the Dallas downtown not that big? After all, JR has a corner office.

- Many of the downtown Dallas office buildings have connected basements. Pam and Cliff are eating lunch in a basement courtyard restaurant.  Yet, when Bobby meets Cliff,   it is Cliff who is coming down the escalator and it is Bobby that is coming outside from the building.  It should either have been reversed or they both should have been in the basement.  Cliff would not have gone up from the restaurant then back down into the same area where he just was.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I know what you're talking about. We have a similar set-up of connected basements with food courts in Toronto. I see your point about this. It's possible but unlikely that this could happen.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Charlie is what? Four or five.  This is Fall of 1978 and in 1983 it is revealed that she was born in November of 1970.  Not a nit now, but worth mentioning.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I believe I did mention it when we see Charlie again.

- Jenna does not seem to talk through the mouth piece of her ENORMOUS phone but you can clearly hear her when the camera cuts to Bobby.

- JR's secretary's desk is empty.  Bye Bye Susan. Bobby has a new secretary. Is this Connie #2?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't see her face. Not sure.

- Sue Ellen makes a weird comment that when Jenna got pregnant, it so devastated Lucas Wade that his business failed.  I could see him being hurt or shocked with an unwed daughter being pregnant but usually families work through these things.  Being a grandfather is usually a life-affirming thing- at least I would assume so.  Maybe this is where Jenna's negligent parenting skills from Season 10 came from. - Speaking of which, she sure didn't seem to be keeping an eye on her charges on the school playground.

HNP Ahmer Responds: THAT speaks to her negligent parenting skills.

- Jenna did not appear to lock her door when she left with Bobby to get Charlie some gifts.

HNP Ahmer Responds: No she didn't. Maybe it locks itself.

- Pam appears to have the empty purse today when she chats with her sympathetic brother-in-law at Ewing Oil.

AHN Val's corner:

- The Ewings are sitting at different seats at the breakfast table. Bobby and Pam are on the side nearest the kitchen door, and Sue Ellen, JR, and Lucy are on the side nearest the windows. Through most of the series, it's vice-versa.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, that is odd. I wonder why.

- Jenna was way overdressed for her day as Class Mother. She was dealing with what, five or six year olds? Children that age make messes (believe me!). So, when working with 20 or so small children, jeans and a cotton shirt are in order.

HNP Ahmer Responds: True enough. But since Jenna isn't actually DOING anything, like, for instance, watching the kids, she must figure it's okay.

- Pam was to meet Cliff and Bobby for lunch in town. She met Cliff, but Bobby was busy financing Jenna's existence. She and Bobby are still sharing the red Mercedes at this point. So, how did Pam get to town? Bobby had the car that day. This was demonstrated when he arrived at home when Pam was riding her horse.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Very true. She must have taken a cab, perhaps. Or perhaps she borrowed Sue Ellen's car...or maybe Cliff picked her up. No, probably not...

ANH Rob's corner:

- Apparently, there's a Southfork rule that forbids the grandchildren from ever finishing meals.  Lucy is the victim today.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Lucy's finished a LOT of meals, dude. It's painfully obvious.

- Not only does JR conveniently park on a busy downtown curb, but he did it right in front of a PARKING GARAGE!!!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't see the garage. Wow.

- O.K.  The Ewings are dragging pre-dinner cocktails a little long so they can wait for Bobby.  The phone rings.  Lucy answers it.   "It's Bobby," she says.  Pam immediately gets up to answer the phone.  WAIT A MINUTE!!!  How the hell does Pam know Bobby wanted to speak to HER?  For all she knew, Bobby may have wanted to speak to Miss Ellie; or maybe even wish Sue Ellen a belated birthday or something.  It's not all Pammy's fault, though.  Bobby may have actually specified whom he wanted to speak to. It's just that LUCY NEVER POINTED THIS OUT!

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is kind of iffy. I see your point, but do you think that any of these other scenarios is really possible here? Let me spin it a different way: given the circumstances, can you see the following exchange happening?

[Phone rings] > Lucy: Hello?.... [Turns] It's Bobby. > Pamela: [Getting up] Oh, I'll take it, Lucy. > Lucy: Uh, no, Pam. He wants to talk to Grandma.

Just can't see it happening.

The return of AHN Matt's corner:

- About the whole Raoul business, I don't know if every male servant just happens to be named Raoul, or if they only hire Raoul's, but I think that the Ewings are just so politically correct, they call every Hispanic American either Raoul or Theresa.

HNP Ahmer Responds: THAT is a good explanation.

-  Now, I can see how Bobby and JR always seem to get these great parking spaces, but how does Jenna Wade, with only $200 in her pocket, be able to afford paying off the parking cop fairy to get that perfect spot right in front of the Ewing Oil Building?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, in fairness, she's not parked - just standing.

- Why was JR so excited over that plant?  He really seemed to take exception to Miss Ellie's garden in Episode 1, but he was very proud of that mini palm he was growing.   No wonder he was attracted to Laurel Ellis.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Very bizarre.

- When Pam got out of the pool, Bobby dried her off with her sleek, see through robe.   Can't these people afford towels? - How come there was the Dallas logo before the second half of the show started?  I don't think TNN showed any of these.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Normally not, but I think someone didn't do a very good editing job here.

- Why is there a mirror in Jenna's hallway before entering her condo?  Is she really that kinky?  Does she fool around with the paperboy or something?

HNP Ahmer Responds: She hasn't been there long enough.

- When Bobby stopped by Jenna's house at the end of the show, she had just stepped out of the shower, though she was in full makeup.  AHN Pam's corner: - Bobby was so un-Bobby-like in this entire episode. I can't believe how insensitive he was to Pam's feelings.  I'm very disappointed in him.  I would expect this sort of behavior from J.R., but not from Bobby.  Even after Jenna's name was mentioned in the first scene and Pam asked who she was, he didn't take her aside and tell her about their relationship. Shame on him!!  Then he didn't bother to show up at home until AFTER midnight?  If my husband ever did this, I'd be at least as mad as Pam is.....maybe more! -  I also don't understand why Bobby was so willing to help Jenna in the first place.   They all said he was very upset when she left.  He even said that he wanted her once and she took off on him.  Then he said she could have come to him for help.   I know he's a good guy and thought Charlie may be his which I guess might be the reason.  But she still ran off with ANOTHER MAN! Once he found out Charlie wasn't his, he still gave her the money.  I would've told her to take a hike!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, but you're not a knight in shining armor, and with all due respect, your testosterone levels are rather low. It's a guy thing. A pretty blonde you once knew comes up to you and asks for help. Unless she's done something worthy of a Jerry Springer segment, you would at least hear her out. [Even IF she's done something like that, the testosterone makes you think about it.]

- Bobby walked out of Ewing Oil to go to Jenna's new place and there was a cab waiting outside.  This is possible.  What I found strange was that the driver had to start the engine as though the cab had been sitting there awhile.  Does Bobby have the cab company on a retainer since Pam always has his car? - When Pam went to 'go get Bobby', how did she go  get him?  He had the car and she didn't ask Miss Ellie  if she could borrow one of theirs.  Maybe she has the number to the cab company Bobby uses.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I suppose that's right. After all, she went inside to CHANGE into her ravishing red dress.

- How did Pam know where Jenna lived?  She hasn't lived there long enough to be listed, even through the operator.  Did Bobby leave her address and phone number lying around on the dresser?  I know, maybe he added her name to the Christmas card list!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps she just asked the cabbie to cruise around until she spotted Bobby's license plate. [Kidding.] Seriously, I bet Bobby probably mentioned that she moved to West Houston Street or something. Jason tells me some Pam/Bobby scenes were actually cut from this episode, which astounds me.

AHN Mike's corner:

- The episode starts out with a real continuity blunder by Jim Davis. While reading about Anderson's Energy Commission appointment in the paper, he calls him "Patterson" in conversation with his sons, who don't miss a beat and call him "Anderson" as though nothing had gone wrong in the scene.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I totally missed it. I'll check again.

- Usually I don't complain about the lack of a bra but I sure wish Anderson had been wearing one in that bed scene with Jenna. That was the saggiest pair of on-screen breasts since Glenn Close's nude scenes in "Fatal Attraction".

HNP Ahmer Responds: Val made the same kind of comment...but this is freakin' hilarious!

- I had a problem with Bobby's extreme behavior in this episode. He could have helped Jenna out and still been home for dinner most nights and not leaving the office during the day (not to mention wreaking havoc on his marriage for no apparent reason). After all, Bobby you ARE rich. You don't have to help Jenna move her things into the apartment, just hire a moving comapny. You don't have to drive Jenna and accompany her shopping because her car is out of commission, just have her call a limo and send the bill to you.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah, but then we couldn't see Pam get all huffy, right?

- The makeup person that did Valene's eyebrows (or, more accurately, the lack thereof) the last two episodes was assigned to Morgan Fairchild. Her eyebrows weren't even visible most of the time. - Also, JR changes suits from the office to dinner the same night. He goes from brown to blue. It's also amazing to see Bobby and JR standing together and see that JR is as slim as Bobby at this point in time - Ah, one of my favorite Dallas pet peeves surfaces early in the series. Bobby has to drive to Charlie's school in the middle of the work day to have a two minute conversation with Jenna (which could have been one minute if Pam wasn't with him) that could have been handled by phone.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is the final nail in the coffin. You are absolutely right, and so this scene must be put into the category of classic plot trickery. The ONLY reason for this scene, from a plot standpoint, is so Pam can keep Charlie's doll. Well done.

- The season one Cliff has obviously found a barber. His hair is much shorter and better groomed.

Episode 9: Bypass

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Ellie on the phone to Lucy - "Do you know the number for the office?  If you forget, it's in the book next to the phone." (Obviously Lucy said yes to the question.  Unless she has short term memory loss, she should be able to remember it for the next 15 seconds it should take her to call.)

HNP Ahmer Responds: She's hysterical plus she's a dumb blonde. I think under the circumstances it's best for Ellie to remind her.

Angelica Award:

JR's safari jacket was very out of place. Nominated by Val.

Pam Award:

Pam in that blue top.

Bobby Award:

JR's hair isn't quite right at all today. The jacket doesn't help.

April Award:

Lucy for trying to assuage her fears by seducing Ray. Nominated by Pam.

- First of all, let me say from the outset that I believe that this episode was filmed very early on in the series - perhaps even before "Reunion". Suffice it to say that since these are discrete episodes rather than serialized ones, they can air them out of sequence and it won't matter. My first piece of evidence are the elevators at Ewing Oil. Bobby has to walk down the hall to get to them. In later years [and I believe later this season] the elevators open directly into the outer office. Watch for it; I could be wrong.

- JR calls Jock "Dad" instead of "Daddy" quite a few times during this episode. That's another piece of evidence.

- Bobby's secretary, the fake Connie, manages to find Pam eating lunch with some trailer park trash friend of hers. Wait a minute...eating lunch? Outdoors? It stretches credibility in the first place when the secretaries manage to find Bobby and JR in the oddest place. But do the secretaries also keep itineraries of their wives? [By the way, for those who don't know: the reason I refer to Bob's secretary as the "fake" Connie is because Bobby will have another lovely secretary named Connie before long. And that friend of Pam's happens to be named Liz Craig and that's the last time we will even speak her name without using profanity. I hate that woman.]

- JR blames himself, and Bobby blames him later, for not calling Dr. Danvers when Jock had his heart attack. Of all people, Sue Ellen is right in this case! You do NOT call a person's doctor when he or she is having a heart least, not first. You call an ambulance and then find his or her doctor. JR did the right thing, and Sue Ellen is correct for telling him so. The reason for this is simple: paramedics or ambulance personnel are able to get the victim to a hospital, which greatly increases his or her chances of survival. Even if Dr. Danvers had got in his car immediately and hopped over to Southfork, there would be very little he could do unless he keeps large doses of blood thinners in his bag.

- Maybe Jim Davis just thinks he's all that, and of course, Jock is definitely DA MAN, even if he is horizontal for most of this episode. But why isn't Jock wearing a hospital gown? I guess this is a BILC: it just looks cool to see Jock's chest with those electrodes attached to it, just in case we don't know he had a heart attack.

- Another piece of evidence that this episode was probably one of the very first to be filmed: Jeb and Willie Joe, while examining Jock's modified will, talk about "The Southfork". Only in the Dallas book was the ranch referred in this way.

- After JR meets with Jeb and Willie Joe, they drop him off at the hospital. He has suddenly changed from a suit into the omnipresent safari jacket. Did he bring a change of clothes along? Is he just going to let these guys keep the suit? Makes little sense.

- This one is really bad. When Jock goes into ventricular tachycardia [known as V-tach], a very dangerous condition, the surgeon gets out the paddles to jump-start his heart. But when he applies the paddles, and the electricity, he did not yell "CLEAR!". Sure hope no hospital administrators were around...because if some poor surgical nurse had her hand in the way of that voltage, she'd sue the hospital blind.

Juanita submitted: I was just going to overlook this, but I need to get it off my chest. When Sue Ellen was on the stairway in her fantasy world of being mistress of the manor, she was facing the living room where Pam was standing in the doorway. Miss Ellie appeared in back of Sue Ellen, looking over a balcony. She was at Sue Ellen's back, but actually, all that could have been at Sue Ellen's back was the wall. The next scene showing Miss Ellie showed her coming from in front of Sue Ellen down the stairs. There was no balcony in back of Sue Ellen, only the wall.

From Robert Trimble: - In the hospital scene where Jock is transported to Dallas Memorial, the ambulance was using its siren as it pulled into the ER door. When I was working on an ambulance I would have a been the victim of a severe tongue-lashing if I had done that. Usually the overhead lights and a horn honk will clear the way if needed, but no one was in the way. Then the ambulance crew rushes Jock into the ER without giving any type of report to the ER staff, puts him into a bed and walks away. Guess the producers did not want to pay the extras to speak.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Clearly I've been away from hospitals too long. Right on both counts.

- JR and Bobby are alone in the cafeteria area. Only a worker in the background at the food line. This must have been VERY early in the morning. Even then there are usually people milling around in scrubs or sitting at the tables reading.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Clearly this isn't a teaching hospital...this just leads more credence to my theory that this episode was filmed very early on, before the producers were sure of any kind of budget.

- There is a PA page for the "on duty nurse to call the desk". Isn't there more than one nurse on duty in a hospital that size?  Did they all call the desk? Usually the hospital has pagers to call people.

- Jock recovered from his operation and was discharged in no time ! This is moving the series ahead quite a lot in real time as normal recovery would be at least a few weeks. I guess nothing worth mentioning happened in those few weeks so the producers just skipped ahead. I did not notice if everyone was wearing the same clothes after Jock was discharged.

HNP Ahmer Responds: The clothes were definitely different but you're right that Jock was let out very quickly. I have been away from hospitals WAY too long.

ANH Sara's corner:

- Jock's token black nurse was awfully tolerant of all the crap she had to put up with today (for instance Jock's sexually harassing friends). - Lucy was so happy to see her grandfather that she jumped on him and gave him a big hug - right where his stitches are.  Idiot.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Outstanding! Hadn't even considered that.

ANH Alett's corner:

- When Ellie shuts Sue Ellen and JR's bedroom door, she does a strange sort of double take.  It made me think maybe she'd seen JR in the buff.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I bet you Larry was doing something wacky. Wouldn't have surprised me if he took IT out.

- JR wants Jeb to read the folder info aloud so Willie Joe can hear it. This is too obviously for the audience's benefit since Willie Joe proceeds to read  the info first over Jeb's shoulder, and then takes the folder to read for himself. - I guess they're cutting down on the 'nips' sightings since Pam and Lucy only had to go braless once each.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Damn! I seriously wanted to see more of Pam in that blue top. Yowzers!

- Today if JR used this hangover solution including a raw egg, he'd probably get salmonella poisoning.

HNP Ahmer Responds: You're probably right. I'm glad I don't drink.

AHN Val's corner:

- Who were those secretaries working at Ewing Oil today? That dark haired one looked like Susan from the Barbecue, but I couldn't place the other one. It didn't look like Connie, and near as I can tell, Louella hasn't been hired yet.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's not the REAL Connie, although I think it is Susan.

- Dr. Danvers is much younger than I remember. He got REALLY old, REALLY fast in those later seasons. Could that have been Harlan's son?

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's possible, but I think the producers hadn't found John Zaremba yet. Just like they haven't found real secretaries.

- How did Pam pick Bobby up from the airport? Let's rewind a minute, shall we? Bobby told Jock he was leaving Ewing Oil. Jock wanted to talk about it, but Bobby said he had a plane to catch, and left in the red Mercedes. Later, Pam's at lunch with Liz. I assume she got there by cab. Then at the hospital, Pam says she has to leave to go pick Bobby up at the airport. What's the point of that? He's got the car. The only way this would work is if Pam took a cab to the airport, met up with Bobby, and rode back to the hospital with him in their car, which was parked at the airport. This is just WAY too counterproductive for my liking.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I see your point, but I think the reason for this is that Bobby wouldn't have known about the heart attack otherwise. Surprising as it may seem, my family does this sort of nonsensical thing all the time. I remember one time I could have driven my grandfather to the doctor, but my dad, mom, and aunt INSISTED on taking a cab. Practically was totally set aside because of some misguided principle of family relations. Just stupid.

- In Episode 7 when Gary was leaving Southfork, the front door (the one in front of the house, NOT near the pool) was shown as having windows on it. Yet today, when we see Sue Ellen doing her drunken waltz in the entry hall, the door clearly has no windows on it. Now, I'm sure that the Ep. 7 scene was filmed in front of the real Southfork, and the indoor scene was filmed on a sound stage. But Geez, People, when replicating a house on a set, at least get it right!!! This is a DOOR we're talking about here. How hard could that be to copy?

HNP Ahmer Responds: We'll have to watch this a little more closely. Is it possible this is another door? That would be my guess.

ANH Kyle's corner:

- J.R says "dad" twice and "mother" once, today. What's going on here? I'll be sure to keep an eye on his linguistic tendencies over the next few weeks.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed the "dad", but not the "mother". This is exceedingly odd. My guess is that this episode was filmed BEFORE "Reunion", but aired afterwards for some reason. Just something about it strikes me that way.

- How in the world does Bobby spot those ol' boys when he first arrives at the hospital? The car is a fair distance away from the hospital. It all seemed rather strange.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Look, pal, he's Bobby Ewing. :)

- Wonderful scene with Ellie, Swellen, and Pam. I loved the symbolism with the Ewing ladies on the staircase (Swellen above Pam, but still far below Ellie...excellent shot). Very well done.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Now THAT is a great catch of symbolism! YES! And then towards the end, Sue Ellen walking away, and Pam and Ellie standing! Good stuff.

- What was the deal with the intro today (after the opening credits). I watched the morning show on tape and it did not show who wrote and directed the episode (it just jumped right in with the Ewing ladies voting). Very strange. Who DID write and direct today's episode?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know. I noticed this too and had to rewind to make sure I didn't miss anything. Apparently [and I find this very hard to believe, but it must be true] the FIRST SCENE was cut out of this episode. It must have been THAT boring.

- My mom happened to be watching the episode with me yesterday (a rarity, as she likes to make fun of it...yet she USED to watch it, when it was originally on, and still watches the Y&R) and when there's that tight shot of a hand drumming on the table, we both swore it was a female hand (I thought it was Ellie's). Anyways, my mom swears that Larry had his nails painted in that scene. Funny.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't notice.

- What's the deal with the Executive Producer font at the end of the show? Sometimes it's white (as it was Monday, and during the mini-series), but most of the time it seems to be yellow. Odd. AHN Mike's corner: - Jock had a "coronary insufficiency"? What kind of doctor doubletalk is that? He had a friggin' heart attack!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Doctors have to do this. I remember my training as a med student - they made sure you talked this way because attaching these technical names to things can sometimes make people think rationally instead of emotionally. You'd be amazed how much more comfortable people feel talking about [and dealing with] an aging parent with "multi-infarct dementia" rather than "my schizoid dad who had a stroke". Of course, most doctors use it for an air of superiority, which I never cared for.

- This episode marks the first evidence of the Ewing Memorial Parking Spot right in front of Dallas Memorial Hospital.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, except that I'm not convinced this was DMH. I noticed and "MCDH" on the surgical scrubs, and the name of the hospital was never shown.

- Pam does a hell of a job riding and then forgets to tie the horse up, simply draping the reins over the fence. Guess she doesn't mind walking back.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Or she's got a very devoted horse.

- Sue Ellen gets drunk on some sissy mixed drink with a cherry at the bottom. I guess she worked her way up to straight gin. AHN Pam's corner: - Even in 'the day' the elevators at Ewing Oil were strange.  First off, they didn't open in to the reception area, they were down the hall.  Also, when Bobby walked up the down light was already lit.  Why? There was no one standing there waiting for an elevator yet Bobby pushed the button anyway.  Bobby's elevator arrived and there was no 'ding'.  He got in to the elevator and then Willie Joe and Jeb's elevator arrived, and the up light never came on.  There was also no 'ding' until they were half way out of the door.  I don't know about Ewing Oil, but in my office building there are always lights and dings to indicate the directions and arrivals of elevators.   Strange.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed the distance to the elevators, but the lack of dings and things is a good point.

- Where did Sue Ellen get the needle point she was working on during the first scene in the hospital lounge?  Did she have it in the empty purse?  Does she just keep it in the car for unexpected emergencies where she'll be sitting around for awhile?   Wait, I know, she uses it to cover the bottle of vodka she has stashed under the front seat of her car!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent one. Totally missed this.

-  Lucy told Ray she looked everywhere for him.  Huh? Everywhere? Southfork is a HUGE place she'd hardly have been able to do this on foot, and she wasn't on horseback either. I can just picture her running through the fields screaming "RAY, RAY!"   Anyway, she should've known to head straight for the stables.  For some reason, Ray seems to like to hang out there.....A LOT! -  Jock mentioned to Bobby that the whole family had been at the hospital to see him with the exception of Bobby.  Ummm.....not quite, the resident slut Lucy was nowhere to be found.  Could this the result of a cut?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite possible.

- They tested Jock and found substantial blockage that would require bypass surgery.   This was fine. What I found strange was that they rushed him in to surgery the same day.  My dad had a quadruple bypass about six years ago or so. They ran tests on him one day and scheduled him for surgery the next morning, not the same day.  Generally there is a schedule for surgery and unless it was an absolute emergency, they would wait at least until the next morning.  They also like to perform surgeries like this early in the morning.  This looks like to be at least mid-morning or early afternoon.   He must've gotten so much preferential treatment since he is of course, DA-MAN Jock Ewing.

HNP Ahmer Responds: There's the key, right there.

- I found it a little strange that when Bobby went to take his phone call Pam and Lucy joined hands, they didn't know who the call was from, they may have guessed but it was still strange.  I don't usually hold the hands of any of my family members for any reason other than my husband.

- Pam and Bobby were so interested in getting to the hospital right away that Pam made a pit stop at the house to change her clothes. Bobby didn't he was wearing the same thing that he was wearing in the stables.  Also, why didn't Lucy go with them?  I guess the birthing of the horse was way more important to her. Sad.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I suppose Pam felt she couldn't go to the hospital wearing that tied-around-her-chest shirt. Probably a wise move.

- There was some really bad dubbing during the meeting between Willie Joe, Jeb and J.R. on that tower thing. Willie Joe and Jeb's dialogue almost sounded broken at times.

- Jock woke up from surgery while still on the table?  The doc told him that he was reborn and his eyes opened slightly.  Could this have been a mistake on Jim Davis' part?  If not, this is impossible.  I remember when my dad had is surgery he was in recovery for a few hours and it took sometime before he woke from the anesthetic.   Good thing Jock didn't wake up a couple of minutes earlier, he could've watched them sew him up.

HNP Ahmer Responds: There was a lot of incompetence in that surgical room.

- This is a nit I wish I would've noticed a couple of days ago. It's from the Bypass episode.  I was rewinding the tape and the phone rang. I ended up watching at the point where Bobby is doing something with the cattle, not sure what.  There's a great shot of his left hand, no wedding ring.  This is not the nit, I can understand where he wouldn't want to do that type of work in a wedding ring.  The nit is when he and Pam have their discussion in the stable when she comes out to meet him.  He puts his arms around her and there is another clear shot of his left hand and he is WEARING HIS WEDDING RING!!  Bizarre!!

AHN Jason's corner:

- The scene between Lucy and Ray was weird.   I am not sure if TNN cut out something with Lucy telling Ray before hand, but at first when she comes into the barn crying, I thought she was going to reveal to him that Jock had his accident.  But then it appears Ray already knew about this so I guess we missed a scene or something.   And I was bothered by the lack of sympathy he had for Lucy when she was crying and scared.  Even if she was scared for herself and growing older, he could have been a lot more sympathetic to her. He very well may have been her first lover and she is just a teenager. Yes, she needs to grow up but his cold attitude was pretty disturbing.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think something must have been cut. Clearly this scene was just to make Lucy look lame and it works.

- Ok, I looked over the secretaries carefully today.  In #8, the one with the auburn hair was seated at the desk to the left and Pam asked her if Bobby was in.  In today's episode (#9) it looks like this same girl in in the right hand desk and JR seems to treat her like his secretary.  I do know that she was not Donna Bullock, the lady who played Connie in the mini-series.  The brunette one on the left today looks like she could have been Susan from BBQ  but I wasn't sure.

HNP Ahmer Responds: No, it was definitely not Connie, although I believe that is Susan. As you may have seen, I'm sure that this episode was taped very early [probably before "Reunion"] and just aired later.

- My theory on this-  All of Bobby's secretaries (until Phyllis in 1981) were named Connie, like all male servants at Southfork (except Paco) are named Raoul.  They probably showcased several actresses in different episodes until they found one they liked.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is quite reasonable from a producer's standpoint but they never counted on nitpickers. Rule number one: we don't deal in producer's reality.

- When JR walks over to Jeb and Willie, he seems to cover a lot of distance in a few steps.

Episode 10: Black Market Baby

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Val]

> Adoption agency lady: "What kind of child are you looking for?" Gee whiz, lady!!! It's a child, not a smorgasbord restaurant!!!! How about one with 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Angelica Award:

JR's safari jacket seems to be a popular choice. Lucy in her bikini and the study decor also get mentions.

Pam Award:

Pam by default, again. Rob thought Lucy, despite the baby fat, should get a mention.

Bobby Award:

No one obvious.

April Award:

Sue Ellen for giving Rita the Southfork phone number and for NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE when she calls, even though she's doing nothing in her room at the time. AHN Pam also notes that Sue Ellen was pretty dumb for thinking she could adopt a child the day after visiting an agency.

The Sue Ellen denial meter: 1.

Tells Ray she doesn't know what he's talking about the morning after their time together.

- Since the AHNs have gone heavy with the symbolism on me, it's my turn. Did you catch it today? As Jock and Ellie finish up their toast, the clock in the hallway bongs out 9 PM. The camera focuses on Sue Ellen to remind us of her biological clock pounding away too. - When Sue Ellen goes to Rita's place, there's a pay phone in the hallway next to her door. In THIS kind of building? Hell, no. Southwestern Bell would go broke servicing it.- I know I'm setting myself up for a smackdown here, but I just think that Rita waddles a little bit too easily for a woman who's seven months pregnant. Before Val and her compatriots go house on me, let me pose this question: is her degree of mobility reasonable? If so, I'll take it back.- And what is the big idea with getting Rita an apartment with stairs? Not smart, Sue Ellen. By the way, this is a nicer place than Sue Ellen got for HERSELF in Season 4.- When JR surfaces to Rita's place, I think it's safe to assume that he was waiting there for Sue Ellen, since I find it hard to believe that he just coincidentally arrived two minutes after her. So where did he park so that his wife would not see his car?

From Dave O:

When Miss Ellie opens up the glass door at Southfork to talk to Sue Ellen (after the cut scene where Sue Ellen ignores Ray) there is a clock visible inside the house. It appears to read 6:10AM. Why would they be up that early in the morning? Since this is the real Southfork why would they actually be filming that early in the morning? My guess is that they might of filmed this scene in July and it was still very light at 6:15PM.

AHN Sara's corner:

- As J.R. peeled out of the driveway (but not without inexplicably throwing the car in reverse and driving backwards without looking in his rearview mirror), we see a pickup truck driving all over the front yard.  What was that about? I guess you could argue that the truck was trying to get out of J.R.'s way, but it looked to me like the truck was on the lawn before J.R. start driving  towards it.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think you're right. I noticed it too and what it means is that a VERY interesting scene was cut. Check out the summary to find out what we missed.

- Miss Ellie tells Sue Ellen that "if a child can help your marriage, then you do what you have to do."  Wow, that's the worst advice that I have ever heard.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite true. Everyone echoes your sentiments.

- Were J.R.'s safari jackets (of which he apparently has two now, a yellow one and that grey one) actually in style in the 70's or is this one of Larry Hagman's wacky fashion choices?

HNP Ahmer Responds: No idea. I was four at the time so I wouldn't know. My guess is that Larry just likes them - he wears them until the end of the series.

- You know that the reason why Sue Ellen was so sad when she saw that Bobby gave Pam that rockin' Corvette was because all she got was that ugly old station wagon.  By the way, why does Sue Ellen have a station wagon?  What does she need the extra space that a wagon provides for? - Sue Ellen gets points with me for calling Pam a "cheap hussy,"  but it was kind of silly how Jock and Ellie found it appropiate to scold her for that remark, as if Sue Ellen was ten years old.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. That was the one redeeming scene in this episode, which I thought almost totally sucked. Letting Sue Ellen go wild saved a pretty pathetic outing. I can forgive Jock here only because he has absolutely no idea what's going on, and figures Sue Ellen's just being mean for no good reason.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I thought the "Ewing" on the photo album was a nice idea, but Ellie acts like it's the first album they've ever had.  So where were all those photos? In a shoebox?   The pictures also seemed to be rather haphazardly stuck in there without much of a presentation.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Bobby probably collected pictures that were lying around. I know we have a huge box of pictures - some in albums, some not - that I could do this with someday.

- I'll bet you guys are thinking a day without a 'nips' sighting is like a day without sunshine.  While it's a natural for Pam in her swimsuit and Sue Ellen in her negligee, it's weird that Pam choses to wear a bra under her white nightgown.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Totally. I guess they had more scenes to film that day and she didn't feel like giving Patrick a thrill.

- Yesterday when Sue Ellen was slamming dresser drawers shut to wake up JR, the lamps had a blue base.  Today they are new lamps with a clear base.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good catch!

- I guess it's a prerequisite that all adoption agency personnel will wear big, dorky glasses.

- This woman at the agency has the kind of address book which requires you to press the lever down and move it to the letter under which the name is filed.  It looks like it's position is at about "T", and she just opens it up.  She should have had to move it up to "C" to get Connors' number.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I was looking for this but I was watching this on my small monitor so I couldn't tell.

AHN Val's corner:

- Just a comment about the music playing during Sue Ellen's walk into Rita's run-down apartment building. We were in the dining room when this part was showing, so we only heard the sound. My husband asked me point-blank if I was watching porno!!!!! Personally, I thought they stole that music from 'Sanford and Son'.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I was thinking the exact same thing! I was telling my sister how much time this ridiculous band must have spent coming up with that pathetic "Sanford & Son" wannabe music.

- Check out Rita's dress hanging over the door. With Sue Ellen standing in front of it, the sleeves looked they were sticking out of her head like the ears of a cat....a cat in heat. Symbolism, anyone?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'll have to look at this again. [Seriously, Val, this is not healthy for me.]

- Rita said she was voted Miss Congeniality in the Miss Teen Texas pageant. I just have one question: HOW??????

- When Pam drove out to the range to tell Bobby she was going to the job interview, she was wearing a plain white blouse, and her hair was pulled to one side in a barette. Well, Pam must have changed clothes in the car because in the interview, she was wearing a blue willowy dress with a pink vest. Later--after her swim--when Sue Ellen chews her out, Pam is wearing the same white shirt/hair-pulled back look.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Great catch. That's what you get for scrimping on filming time.

- Sue Ellen read the script and knew not to answer the phone so Pam would have to get out of the pool (for the BILC shot), answer the phone herself, and learn about Sue Ellen's baby-buying plan.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Hey...yeah, I forgot that Sue Ellen was in the house. And let the phone ring three times.

- When Bobby presented Pam with her new Corvette, Bobby's car was parked next to it. That was it...just those two cars were present. Corvette on the left, red Mercedes on the right. Just as Pam and Bobby drove off, JR came out to leave for work. After his little exchange with Sue Ellen, he walked out to his car which MAGICALLY APPEARED parked to the right of Bobby's car. JR's car was NOT there before. I rewatched that scene several times, and it checked out everytime. AHN Kyle's corner:

- Jock's toast about future Ewings was nice, but he really SHOULD have mentioned Ellie in his toast. She said some nice things about him in her toast, and yet he doesn't even mention her in his. Oh, well...

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's typical Jock, isn't it?

AHN Jason's corner:

- Did Pam work at the Store before?  I thought she did but in both 9 and 10 it is implied that she never worked there before.  (Liz asks her to come to work for her, not return to work.)

HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought so too. We'll have to watch for more clues.

- When Sue Ellen goes to Rita's apartment for the last time, she brings in her purse, along with some packages.  After her spat with JR, she runs out (sans purse) and drives off.  I notice that women usually put their car keys in their purses.  (I put mine in my knapsack when I carry it.)  Apparently Sue Ellen didn't because she was able to drive her station wagon home.  I suppose she could have put the keys in her pocket but it would have weighted down her light fluffy dress when she ran to the car.   Also, JR was so thoughtless.  He didn't bring her purse back to the ranch when he came home to rape.......oops I mean "make love" to her.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point. And don't go overboard about that scene. I think the point is to highlight the rather sick relationship they have, and I for one think that it's perfect.

ANH Rob's corner:

- Here's a nit that happens a lot, but isn't mentioned very often. It seems that the argument JR and Sue Ellen have occurs at bedtime; which I imagine is pretty late - about 10:00 or 11:00 p.m.  Yet when JR drives off, you can still see evidence of sunlight, perhaps dusk or dawn.  Even a full moon doesn't get that bright.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I actually didn't think it was that bright. I'll take another look.

- Okay, I've got a question: At this point in the series, Sue Ellen doesn't yet have her own money. So exactly how does she expect to spend all this money on Rita without JR finding out?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Oh, I'm sure she's got access to any money she wants. That way she can keep herself busy and JR doesn't have to worry about her. If you're JR, you'd rather spend money on her than time, right? Sue Ellen could take $ 15,000 out of their account and say she bought a new wardrobe. You think JR would blink twice?

ANH Pam's corner:

- I have to say, I can see why J.R. would have no interest in getting too close to Sue Ellen the night of Jock and Ellie's anniversary.  Her breath had to be raunchy!   She slammed a glass of champagne, downed a drink of what I would assume had vodka in it, and then drank his brandy.  YUCK!!  Sexy or not, the smell of stale alcohol on someone's breath is not attractive. You get used to it when you're married, but it's still not the most romantic thing in the world.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I bet. Glad I'll never have to worry about that.

- Bobby's chauvinism and lack of sensitivity to his wife's needs is very apparent.   He doesn't want her to work because HE doesn't think it's what she needs.  I agree with Pam here, who is he to tell her what she needs?  He should be supportive of her and understand that it has nothing to do with money but that she feels good about herself and productive.  I understand that feeling completely.  My husband and I have discussed the possibility of my staying home after we have children.  We plan to have them, but staying home is just not an option for me.  Admittedly raising children is probably the toughest job anyone will ever take on and it's also the most rewarding.  But there's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have something outside the home for herself either.  I was glad to see Bobby change his tune at the end of the episode and support Pam.

HNP Ahmer Responds: He just wouldn't be the Bob-man any other way.

- Sue Ellen met Connors in a restaurant in the middle of downtown Dallas?  I realize this was done in part so that she and Cliff would meet which is crucial to future plotlines, but it's still strange.  If she were smart she would've met him in some dark little hideaway not in the middle of the business district where she could've been spotted by any one of the Ewings friends or associates. - Speaking of the restaurant, it looked like it was supposed to be an expensive restaurant.  Yet the centerpiece was a cactus in a ceramic pot!  This looked very out of place.  I know this is Texas, but this was still stupid.  This thing looked like something I would stick in my kitchen window! - Sue Ellen carried the token empty purse today. I'm surprised Sue Ellen was willing to go over to Rita's neighborhood to meet her at her apartment. She's lucky she didn't get mugged! - Wouldn't drinking all that root beer be bad for the baby?  It's loaded with sugar and caffeine.  Guess they didn't know that back then.  Sue Ellen didn't see anything wrong with her drinking root beer, she even offered to buy her some.  At least she did mention she shouldn't be smoking during her pregnancy.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's scary what society put up with twenty years ago.

- There was some horrible dubbing throughout this entire episode.  It was bad during the conversation between Sue Ellen, Cliff and Connors in front of the restaurant.   The worst was during the conversation between Liz and Pam.  Pam's dialogue sounded especially strange. - Sue Ellen helped Rita move her stuff in while wearing a dress??  Jeans and a t-shirt would be more appropriate here.

HNP Ahmer Responds: But it wouldn't be Sue Ellen.

- The phone must've rung at least five times before Pam made it across the pool to pick it up.  Most people would've hung up by this point.  I guess everyone read the script and knew Pam would have to take the call.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Was it five? I thought it was only three or so.

- I guess Rita doesn't know every detail about the Ewing family like it seems most of Texas does. Otherwise she would've known to distinguish which Mrs. Ewing she was speaking to. - Sue Ellen just walked in to Rita's apartment, she didn't even knock.  I realize she is paying for it and supporting Rita and therefore may have kept a key. But walking in without knocking is just plain rude. - Sue Ellen had a wet spot on the back of her blouse when she entered the house after throwing her temper and yelling at Pam in front of the family.  Yet in the next scene in her and J.R.'s bedroom, the wet spot is gone.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Pam's hair is back to auburn after the lightened version in the previous episode. And more of Pam's white virgin look in the bedroom scene with Bobby as she wears a modest white floor length nightgown that wouldn't even be considered sexy for a newly married Amish couple. I guess she really IS reconsidering having a baby, but it's incongruous with that flimsy, no-bra sheer blue top she wore to lunch yesterday. And the idea she could do such a 180 about having a baby after only about ten episodes is a little hard to swallow.

HNP Ahmer Responds: And considering her flip-flop in about twenty episodes, it's even harder.

- It's pitiful that they cut the Ray-Sue Ellen encounter. That would have made her plight with JR seem all the more desperate. It would also have explained  why Ray was so cool to Lucy's "offer", being worn out from the night before.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Totally. But you know what? The strange thing is that I KNOW I HAVE SEEN THAT SCENE! But it's not on my tape, which is from the last series run. So it must have been aired in 1997 during the very first TNN run.

- This adoption lady said she knew a number of kids who would love to become part of the Ewing family. What kind of sick kids are those? They'd be smarter to to stay in the orphanage. Good thing Sue Ellen didn't adopt, otherwise the kid would have pre-empted all of Christopher's later whining about being adopted by virtue of seniority.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, certainly outsiders don't know what goes on in that house. Most kids would look at the situation and have no problem wanting to end up fat and [ostensibly] happy like Lucy.

- When Pam gets out of the pool she puts on a robe or kaftan but it's completely transparent. So what is the point of it if it doesn't hide anything or its too thin to dry her or keep her warm? Also, after swimming in the pool, Pam's lipstick and rouge are flawless as she talks to Sue Ellen.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think Vicki's in the stage where she doesn't want to be a sex object but does want to keep her job.

- Sue Ellen gets the bad grammar award for saying "between you and I" instead of "between you and me". But at least she didn't say "and I, you". I guess that writer didn't come aboard until the later seasons.

Episode 11: Double Wedding

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of everyone]

> Pam: "Daddy, what are you looking for?" Perhaps the ANNULMENT PAPERS, darling?

Angelica Award:

Lucy's weird frilly dress and hair ribbons. Mike has a few other suggestions.

Pam Award:

Pam. It's hers until they pry it out of her hands.

Bobby Award:

Digger, I suppose.

April Award:

Aunt Maggie for leaving Digger alone so he can go on his bender. Even dumber than Digger letting Ed into his house.

- The dubbing is this episode was totally pathetic. I half expected to see subtitles during Pam and Ed's first discussion.

- When Pam calls the ranch on the rotary phone at The Store, is didn't look like she pushed the hook to hang up the call before dialing Cliff.

- JR spills the news about Ed to the family after Miss Ellie and Lucy have gone inside, claiming he wants to spare his mother from hearing it...zuh? Who does he think he is...Clayton? Why shouldn't Miss Ellie hear it?

- This Ridlin he the only clerk in the Hall of Records? I find that hard to believe for a city like Dallas. Or did Ed somehow offer to cut all of the clerks into his deal?

- I found it really interesting how Digger chides Bobby for only offering Ed $10,000 to leave Pam alone. Isn't that exactly how much he asked Jock for, as a bride-price? You can be certain that Ed wouldn't have settled for a piddling $ 100, like Digger did.

- Any opinions why there is a basketball hoop just off the Southfork driveway? You can see it when Pam and Bobby are having a conversation. Who, other than perhaps Bobby, plays basketball at Southfork? Does he just shoot hoops once in a while? I can't see anybody else in the family with the least aptitude for basketball at all. [Maybe I'm wrong and Sue Ellen has a pretty decent jump shot. Who knows?]

- Here's one that's tough to spot because it requires some backwards thinking: think back to when Ed Haines comes to Ewing Oil. He asks the secretary to see 'Mr. Ewing'. The secretary immediately contacts JR and lets Haines in. This makes sense at first, because you figure that since Bobby has left Ewing Oil for now, he doesn't have an office there. Okay. Skip forward in time to the point where Digger bursts in to Bobby's office because he remembers where Pam's annulment papers have gone. Where is this office? Why, it's at Ewing Oil! How do we know this? Because Bobby tells Digger to go lie down in JR's office, which is right next door! How come Bobby suddenly has an office, which he didn't have the day before? And if Bobby had an office all along, why didn't the secretary ask Haines which Mr. Ewing he wanted to see, Bobby or JR? [This caught my attention because I work with my father, so when someone calls and asks for Mr. Ali, they have to be asked which Mr. Ali they're looking for!]

ANH Jason's corner:

- Pam seems to have that empty purse again.  It is most evident in the scene with Cliff, Digger and Bobby when they have coffee.

- Speaking of Pam's purse, there seems to be a nit when she tries to tell Cliff about her troubles.  She seems to throw it in her car, then Cliff talks to her and he tells her to follow him.  Then we see Pam with the purse walking around to her driver's side and getting in.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'll look at this.

- Ok, the ever changing secretary strikes again.   Today, the brunette sits at the right hand desk which was (I assugmed yesterday) JR's secretary's desk.  She buzzes Ed into JR's office.  I can't tell if this was supposed to be Susan but later in the episode, this same woman talks to Bobby and he treats her like his secretary.   He calls her (surprise!) Connie but she is NOT the auburn-haired lady from #8 and #9.   (I am going to check the end credits of this episode and #5 and see if the same actress is credited here that played Susan in BBQ.   This is really starting to bug me.)

HNP Ahmer Responds: It bugs me too. This is definitely the Connie we saw yesterday. Clearly the producers are saving money at the expense of making sense.

- JR calls Jock "Dad" again. - Jock says that Bobby is (dabbling) in construction and later it is revealed that this is his first project.  But didn't someone say in #9 that Bobby used to be in construction (I think it was when he was thinking about being a rancher.)

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't remember. Probably. Perhaps what Jock means is that it's his first REAL project, from the ground up. His others may have just been renovation things.

AHN Val's corner:

- HOW did Sue Ellen get involved in a church group. She doesn't strike me as the church-going type. Bobby and Pam come across as more religious than Sue Ellen could ever be. And the Reverend was questioning BOBBY'S religious life. How about Sue Ellen's.

HNP Ahmer Responds: We have the disadvantage of knowing what Sue Ellen's life is going to be like. At this point she hasn't done anything wrong...oh, wait. One count of adultery. Perhaps THAT's why it was cut.

- When Bobby was previewing his plans at the building site, he said that they'd have the dormitories facing north to avoid the heat of the noonday sun. Wait!!! What about the SOUTH side of the building? South-facing rooms tend to get more sunlight and heat than even the east or west sides. So, are there gonna be rooms only on the north side of the building? This would make for an odd--not to mention impractical--design.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think he means WINDOWS facing the north side. I guess.

- At work, Pam was wearing a brownish-pinkish sundress. Although it looked nice, a dress like that is rather inappropriate for work. I worked in a retail department store during college, and there was a strict, conservative dress code. Shoulders had to be covered. If I had showed up at work wearing that dress, I would have been sent home to change. - It's her first week on the job, and Pam's already leaving work in the middle of the day. They must REALLY like her work at The Store in order to put up with that conduct.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Obviously they do. She left on an errand, but you're right.

- When Cliff suggested he and Pam go to the Records Department, Cliff commented that they can't go now because it's closed. Wait a minute! It's THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!! From the brightness of the sun outside Cliff's campaign headquarters, it can't be any later than two, maybe three o' clock! Stupid government agencies.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Dave O just pointed out to me that in yesterday's episode, Ellie was shown rising and shining at 6:10 AM..or 6:10 PM. That means it must have been could be late afternoon and still be this bright.

- I have a problem with the way Pam drives that Corvette. It must have a manual transmission, and Victoria's not used to the clutch. When she left Cliff's office, the lurching and the squealing tires sounded like she pushed too hard on the gas pedal while disengaging the clutch. Then, when she arrived home at Southfork, she pushed too much, too late on the brakes and squealed the tires. That's a horrible way to treat such a fine car. AHN Kyle's corner:

- A really ugly cut today between the scene where the Ewings' are discussing the Pam situation at Southfork and the scene where Pam and Bobby first go to see Cliff. This was far to abrupt...a scene must have been cut. For shame, TNN. - What an unbelievably blatant blue screen when Bobby and the boys go to Haynes' place the very last time. Ridiculous...almost freaky really, like they were coming aboard a space craft. Yikez! AHN Alett's corner:

- With this whole braless look, I'm starting to see "nips" sightings everywhere.  Ed Haynes with all of his open shirts almost gives us a full shot when he's leaning against his car.  The most disturbing one is that it was even evident on the church lady wearing gray! - I don't believe Ed could have known who Digger's attorney had been, that he died, and where to locate his papers.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps it indicated this on the document. You know, it says CC: to whoever. Or at the very least, the name of the lawyer probably appears on the stationery. He did a lot of work awfully fast, though.

- I'm so annoyed that writers continually stereotype religious people to be arrogant, sanctimonious jerks.  That type certainly exists, but this has become standard fare.   It's turned into, "We need a church group.  Well, we don't need to be original with that one." Forget that it's bigoted.  It's lazy writing.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Very astute.

- David Wayne makes one of the best drunks I've ever seen.  He's a little over the top sometimes, but he does have the slur and walk down pat.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Lucy wants to visit the school for wayward boys? She IS a school for wayward boys!

HNP Ahmer Responds: And scares them straight.

- Digger has switched seedy bars it appears. The name has changed to Kelley's but it looks the same inside, except for the old biddy at the end of the bar in the granny glasses who looks like a librarian gone over to the wild side. - Pam is back in all white outfits again - twice. Why is it during the day Pam wears all these sheer sexy outfits with tight tops and no bras, yet going to bed with her new husband she has the Amish lingerie with bra? And it must have been mighty chilly on the street while she was talking to Cliff. As a bonus, when she gets in the 'Vette, her skirt falls all the way back to her butt.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Clearly I was not looking close enough.

- Ridlin, the crooked records clerk parks across two spots at the cheap motel.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's Bobby's aura.

- Does Miss Ellie ever take those pearls off in these early episodes? And what about her and Jock on the patio in those matching outfits - white top with blue bottom. They looked like a couple of tourists! Give them a joint Angelica. - Sue Ellen certainly knows how to mix drinks. Now she's drinking brandy. And she's right about Cliff, he doesn't become "defective" (in SO many ways) for another couple of seasons.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Season 4, I think. I really liked Cliff during the first couple of seasons. I forget when exactly he became lame.

ANH Rob's corner:

- How's this for irony: Reverend Thornwood points out that he hadn't seen either Bobby or Pam in church lately.  Fact is, in the 13-year history of "Dallas," NO character had even been rumored to have gone to church..

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yup. Can't imagine Sue Ellen singing hymns.

- Why is Bobby operating his construction company out of the Ewing Oil offices?   Okay, so he may not be able to afford his own office, but there's always Southfork.   I thought Bobby left EO because he got sick of JR; so now he has to see him at the office all day, every day? AHN Pam's corner:

- How did Ed know exactly where Aunt Maggie lived? He said that he's never seen Digger and Pam said that he's never seen Maggie.  Therefore it would be reasonable to say that he's never been to the house before.  So how did he find it?  Did the blurb in the newspaper mention Pam's former address?

HNP Ahmer Responds: He probably looked up "Barnes" in the phone book or something. If he had searched the newspaper for Pam, he would have headed for Southfork first. Or actually, maybe his friend from the hall of records found out.

-  Maggie told Ed that Pam was married.  "She's a Ewing now so she wouldn't be interested in anything personal."  So, does that mean she would be if her name were say Smith?

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is also rather boneheaded dialogue.

- Pam keeps her purse behind the counter at the store??  I worked in a department store once and we had LOCKERS in the BREAK ROOM to avoid keeping our purses behind the counter where they might be STOLEN. I guess it doesn't matter, since Pam's purse was obviously empty anyway.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I wondered about this. Doesn't seem like a smart place to leave a purse...even if it is empty.

- There was a scene cut from today's episode.  It was shown in the previews but not in the actual show. It took place in Pam and Bobby's bedroom.  I remember seeing this episode uncut many years ago and remember this scene well because it made Bobby out to look like such a hypocrite. Pam was attempting to apologize to Bobby and explain about the marriage.  He wouldn't listen, surprise, surprise!  He turned around (in front of the closet shirt off of course!) and yelled at her for never telling him about this.   This coming from the same person who not two episodes ago wouldn't tell Pam about his relationship with Jenna when she asked about it point blank.  Granted, he never actually MARRIED Jenna, but he criticizes her for not mentioning a past relationship when he did the same thing.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Thanks for the info. Sounds like something Bobby would do.

-  J.R. took a quick glance at Pam and Ed's marriage license and said it looked legal.  How would he know this?  He's not a lawyer.  Yes, Pam's signature was on the document, but has J.R. ever seen her signature? If not, how could he be sure it was really hers...not that he cares mind you.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think he's saying this based on how many legal documents he's seen. Of course, that means nothing, really.

- Typical Dallas eating habits.  Pam, Bobby, Digger and Cliff were eating at a restaurant and there was a full plate of fries in front of Cliff.  They all got up and walked away and no one even touched them!  Did anyone bother to pay the bill?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Since it's an outdoor restaurant, they probably paid beforehand.

- When Pam met Ed at the park, where was her purse? Even if she didn't drive to the park she should still be carrying it I know I would be.  If she did drive where did she put her keys?  It's not like she had any pockets in that dress. -  Bobby was extremely rude to the church committee. He's in the middle of a meeting with them and Digger came in to tell him he knew what happened to the annulment papers and Bobby just dashes off to the records office.  He didn't even go back in and make his apologies or anything.  I can't believe the committee gave him the contract after this!  This was not only extremely rude, but VERY unprofessional!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I also found that weird.

- Everyone was sitting backwards again at the dinner table in the last scene.  What's up with this?

HNP Ahmer Responds: By George...I think you've got it! THIS is what I was looking for! This is the telltale sign that indicates whether an episode was filmed BEFORE "Reunion" or AFTER it. Jason and I have been debating this, wondering about Pam's hair color and other cues...but I think this might be the clincher. Thanks!

- Bobby told Digger to make himself comfortable in J.R.'s office because he wouldn't be back the rest of the day.  Yet at dinner J.R. asked Bobby what Digger was doing laying on the couch in his office.  How would he know he was there if he didn't go back to the office?  Maybe he came back unexpectedly. If this happened, I would have thought J.R. would've been mad as hell and wouldn't have waited so long to mention it.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think JR probably stopped in just before heading home to pick up his briefcase or whatever. I guess.

- Here's a question.  Although Pam was underaged to be married in the state of Texas she was legally of age to be married in Juarez.  I don't dispute this, I know this is possible.  But she would have signed the marriage license there.  Due to the fact that they were legally married there, Texas would honor this marriage as legal also.  So, my question is if she signed the marriage license, and the marriage is considered legal in Juarez and Texas wouldn't she legally have to sign the annulment papers too?  It doesn't even sound like she's ever seen them for herself.

Our legal advisor Terri Thomas tells us:

In Texas, the parent/guardian/next friend of a child between the ages of 14 and 18 may file for an annulment of a marriage that was not consented to by the parents, so long as the annulment is filed for within 90 days of the marriage. Assuming here that Pamela was not married to Ed for more than 90 days, the filing of the annulment could have been done by Digger and Pamela would not have to sign for it. With regard to the fact that Ed supposedly did not ever see the annulment papers, Texas allows notice by publication.  This is stretching things a bit, since we know Ed was stationed in Vietnam at the time, but it's POSSIBLE that no one could personally serve him and that notice of the annulment proceedings was posted in some military paper that Ed is likely to have seen.  If the respondent (i.e. Ed, in this case) did not make any further move to answer the petition, then the annulment would have been granted by default judgment.

ANH Sara's corner:

- Cliff's looks are complimented by Lucy and Sue Ellen, both of whom are obviously reading from a script written by Ken Kercheval

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't believe Ken was writing or directing at the time. He didn't have that kind of clout.

- What was Bobby thinking when he let Digger stay in J.R.'s office unsupervised?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, everybody else seems to waltz in there and wait. Only the Ewings would allow this.

Episode 12: Runaway

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Pam and Alett]

> Sue Ellen:  "Aren't they (the keys) where you always leave them?" Ummmm......if they were, WHY would he be asking you if you've seen them?  Moron!

Angelica Award:

Willie's carpeted van. Jock's powder blue suit gets an honorable mention.

Pam Award:

Pam, although Lucy's bathing suit shots got some support.

Bobby Award:


April Award:

Willie for giving up his hostage, and Lucy for hitchhiking.

-  JR told Valene to leave the state in Episode 7. Unless somebody rearranged the great state of Texas, San Antonio and Austin are still in it. Maybe somebody didn't tell Valene that Dallas is not a state unto itself. Why is she still in Texas? And why doesn't JR do something about it when he finds out? I know he didn't want to say anything in front of the family, but he should do SOMETHING behind the scenes once he finds out, right?

- I'm not sure how JR would be able to see that his car is no longer in the garage. No matter which way his window faces, I think it would be impossible for this to be the case.- And when he figures out what's happened, JR takes only a moment to go over to Lucy's room...wait a minute. Lucy's room is supposed to be in the OTHER wing of Southfork - at least that's what she says in a few seasons after the fire. What gives here?- Do you think Willie would really be listening to that lame music on his radio? A guy like him should be listening to KISS...or at least disco. How about some ABBA?

- When they make their getaway from the restaurant, why does Willie make Lucy go through the driver side door to get to the passenger seat in his van? In this moment of crisis, is the foremost thing on his mind to get a look at Lucy's posterior? The only thing lamer than this was the restauranteur running outside and just shaking his head. If he had shook his fist at the disappearing van it would have been laughably perfect.

- I'm wondering why Lucy took her guitar into the first rest stop, but not her overnight bag? - There are some minor continuity blips when Lucy and Willie are in the van together, which were probably necessary because these scenes would have been tough to retake. And there's some really bad dubbing when Lucy's supposed to be hysterical.

- It's a shame Ellie doesn't even dress up for her granddaughter's party when everyone else does...except JR, who just refuses to be seen in anything other than the safari jacket.

- Speaking of the guitar case: it certainly must have been empty if Willie could throw it [and Charlene could catch it] like they did before going into the club. And I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Lucy's Milli Vanilli act was WAY too enthusiastic for someone who was there against her will. And I would be even MORE remiss if I didn't point out that she didn't bother to use her precious guitar.

- An interesting note: the producers must have actually WENT out to San Antonio and Austin to film some of these scenes. The road sign that we see indicating "San Marcos 21, Austin 46", is actually a REAL sign you'd see on the way north from San Antonio.- And finally, in the rescue scene, if Bobby needs a megaphone to be heard, how come he can hear Willie? Willie doesn't appear to be shouting, and neither does Lucy.

- Michael and Danceman mentioned that this is the only time that we see cars being parked in a garage at Southfork. This is true but we do see the garage once in a while. It's just that after this episode no one seems to park inside it.

ANH Jason's corner:

- Why isn't the Southfork garage closed at night?

HNP Ahmer Responds: So Lucy can silently sneak in.

- Is the harmonica music now "Lucy's theme"?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. It reappears in the other Lucy focus episode, "Royal Marriage". It gets modernized a bit, too.

- Jock says that Ellie hasn't lied to him in 40 years- presumably the length of time they have been married.  But according to various sources,  including the Early Years and Digger's Daughter, they have been married since 1930 or 1932.  Maybe she was a liar for the first 6 or so years of marriage?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think the actual date, according to most of the canonical data, is between 1933 and 1935. The date is irrelevant, though; your nit is accurate.

AHN Pam's corner:

- The entire episode spanned a couple of days.  We saw Lucy's birthday party.   But at the beginning, Sue Ellen and Ellie were organizing things such as guest lists and arranging for music!  They were able to throw that party together in record time!  These people barely would've had time to receive their invitations and usually bands need to be booked well in advance.....except when you're a Ewing I guess.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess so. This isn't completely clear...I guess two or three days is about right. I suspect that a lot was cut from the beginning quarter of the episode, so the time lapse is unclear.

- I have to ask the question again about what time these people go to work.  Pam had time to model her dress and was going to help Lucy try on her clothes and Bobby had time to take a swim and they STILL made it to work.  OK, Bobby's appointment could have been later in the morning or early afternoon.  But Pam should be out of the house earlier than this.  She obviously didn't work the evening shift since she was home for dinner!

- Lucy was missing and she had J.R.'s car.  Yet Bobby, Pam and J.R. all went to work and Sue Ellen and Ellie continued with the party preparations.  I can't believe how little concern they all had for Lucy and her safety...especially Ellie!!!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. This is so egregious. If this were any character on the planet besides Lucy, I would summarily dismiss this episode for its bogosity of premise.

- It's amazing that Bobby managed to get the restaurant that Valene worked at while the police officer was still taking the owner's statement.  Then he didn't catch up with Lucy and Willie until the next morning. This was bizarre considering how much of a head start they had over him.  He really must be a lead foot!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm prepared to give Lucy the benefit of the doubt and say she left in the wee hours of the morning , perhaps just before dawn. It's only about 90 miles from North Dallas to Waco, so she probably got there in under two hours. She meets Willie, and they head to San Antonio, which is another 150 miles away - maybe three hours. RIGHT AFTER this scene, we see Bobby tell the family he'll find her. So I'd say Lucy has at most a two or three hour head start. This isn't so bad, considering that Bobby has a special "in" with the cops so he can drive as fast as he wants.

- The hallway is definitely NOT the hallway of later years.  Never do we see anyone walk in front of a couch that sits between two windows.

HNP Ahmer Responds: And nor do we see Lucy's room in this area of Southfork.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Oh, to have those late seventies prices.  Gas is 63 cents a gallon, and Lucy gets a roll and coffee for only 79 cents.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't notice this because we Canadians pay 63 cents a LITRE...4 of which make a gallon. And you Yanks think you have it tough.

- They should say which birthday this is for Lucy.  She obviously knows how to drive.   Is she sixteen?  Since they spoil her anyway, I'm surprised she didn't get her own car for her birthday.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know what the driving age in Texas would have been in 1978. And I totally agree with the last point. You'd think that after all of her pouting, her granddaddy would buy her one.

- I'm sure everyone winced at Charlene's awful lip sync.  They could have at least dubbed in a voice that sounds like it could be her singing.  She can't even plunk out a chord on that guitar, but suddenly she's another Tanya Tucker.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I fast forwarded it. Heard it twice before, don't care to hear it again.

- That letter Jock brought in for Lucy was obviously from Valene.  She clears up the money issue, so why doesn't she bother to mention she's leaving San Antonio?  And since they believe she's in Austin, I would think Lucy would still try to contact her once the trouble is over.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes and yes again. It's possible that she had to leave San Antonio in a hurry for some reason, but this leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

AHN Val's corner:

- These shows must have been taped out of sequence. Pam was showing off her new white dress that she bought for Lucy's birthday party. However, she wore that same dress at the end of the last episode.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think she's got a LOT of these dresses. You're quite right that these shows have been AIRED out of sequence, but this is definitely a later episode. You can tell because Pam's hair is more brown, and because JR and Sue Ellen are sitting in their normal seats.

- Next to the driveway, there was a pair of coach lights flanking the pathway toward the house. Where did these come from? I haven't seen them in previous episodes, and I don't think they're in many, if any future episodes. This is strange because patio lighting like that usually isn't a short-term feature.

- Lucy read the script, and knew the cops were gonna spot JR's car. When she stopped at the diner for breakfast, she took her guitar inside with her. She had it with her when she was hitchhiking. Most people would have left a guitar or other such luggage in the car while eating in a restaurant.

HNP Ahmer Responds: YES! And probably taken their overnight bag with them.

- Also, at that diner, the waitress was wearing the same light orange uniform that Valene wore at her job at the Hot Biscuit.

- At most Ewing parties, the parquet dance floor is set up on the basketball court. But at Lucy's birthday party, it's on the other side of the pool...possibly on top of Miss Ellie's garden!!!

AHN Rob's corner:

- I'm amazed at how far Willie managed to get with JR's credit card. Didn't they have signatures on the back of  those things back in the seventies?  Or here's an even better question: Why didn't it occur to JR to CANCEL the card once he noticed it was missing?  At least that would have made it easier for the police to find Lucy.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't think credit card security was that big in the seventies. Maybe for VISA and Mastercard, but not for gas cards. Val also wondered why JR didn't cancel the card, and the only thing I can think of is that Jock or Ellie didn't want Lucy to end up stranded somewhere. I thought at first that it was maybe the weekend, and so offices wouldn't be open. Unfortunately, the fact that Willie and Lucy's Excellent Adventure ends up in Austin on a SATURDAY means that it was FRIDAY, so JR could have called.

- Did I miss something?  Bobby calls Willie by name during that standoff!  Who told Bobby who he was?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe the police officers did...but how would they know? I'll have to think about this a little bit. I don't remember whether Lucy said Willie's name during the restaurant hold-up. That might be one way.

ANH Sara's corner:

- Willie and Lucy robbed the restaurant during the day, but it's night before the police (and Bobby, who seemed to be the new sheriff in this episode...)  arrive.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, you're right! Given that Lucy must have stolen away from Southfork in the very early morning, it shouldn't possibly be later than noon when they hold the restaurant up. Bobby's only a few hours behind.

- The police man was smiling as he watched Bobby interfere with the justice system as he bribed the restaurant worker not to press charges.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's sort of a settlement out of court...but you're right.

- The gas station worker had a bandage over his forehead where he was hit by Willie.   But he shown lying on his stomach when Willie and Lucy drove away. If he was hit on his forehead then he should have fallen onto his back, not his stomach.  You could argue that Willie moved him, but since the whole assault and robbery took an unrealistic three seconds, I don't think that he would have enough time.

HNP Ahmer Responds: OUTSTANDING! Clearly I have to read my "Encyclopedia Brown" books again.

- When Ellie and Jock are talking after Lucy's party, we hear thunder and rain falling.   But we don't see any rain and there are no thunderclouds in the sky.

HNP Ahmer Responds: We saw clouds before - it wasn't so obvious during the talk.

- Bobby must have read the script and realized that he would need to carry thousands of dollars with him to use to offer himself for Lucy. Otherwise, I can't see what he would be doing with all that money.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Must be standard fare for the Ewings. Certainly they would carry decent amounts of cash on them - that just makes sense. But two thousand is a bit excessive. And since he paid off the restauranteur...that would be more.

Episode 13: Election

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of everyone]

> Cliff's election guy: "The phones are ringing off the hook." How come we don't hear them, then?

Angelica Award:

Pam [horrors!] for that rather tacky jacket while in the park with Cliff.

Pam Award:

Sue Ellen's white V-Neck top. Nominated by Val.

Bobby Award:

Lucy at the party.

April Award:

Pam for being a blabbermouth.

- Just one that I can recall today. Why aren't the Ewings celebrating at Cole headquarters instead of Southfork?

ANH Jason's corner:

- Ellie asks the family if they want another drink about a minute or so after they pour their first ones.   What is even more funny is that Sue Ellen was all ready for a second. - I could be wrong but it looked like a couple of men at the first meeting in JR's office were eating take out burgers ala McDonalds.   Kinda weird. - Bad dubbing-  Sue Ellen and Cliff's scene outside his office. - Cliff seems to have moved since episode 3 when he shagged Julie.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Definitely. But not into THE new apartment.

- Why would Pam hang around Southfork while the Ewings are waiting to hear about the election results?   I wouldn't b/c I know JR would love to rub it in my face.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is actually two nits. One, why is Pam not at Cliff's HQ to provide moral support? And two, shouldn't the Ewings be partying at Cole HQ?

AHN Alett's corner:

- I found it odd that toward the beginning of the show, Bobby and JR come in the front door.  It's evening, so they should have parked by the garage and would naturally come in from the back.  This is the first episode that doesn't say it was entirely filmed in Texas, so I assume this is one of their attempts to cut down on the number of sets needed.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That last one is an interesting point. I'm not positive how this helped them....I do have a feeling that this might have been filmed over the Christmas break or something, which is why Kenny K was available.

- This director really likes shots of people's reflections in mirrors.  It's done twice in Pam and Bobby's bedroom and seems to work well.  It doesn't work very well at the Daughters of the Alamo gathering.  Sue Ellen is supposed to be looking   in a mirror at Cliff, but he's too far off to her right for his reflection to really be in this mirror.  Sue Ellen is actually staring into a hallway, and Cliff's reflection only shows up when the camera moves to her left.  By the way, how "Texas" of them to have the "Daughters of the Alamo" when anywhere else it would be D.A.R. (Daughters of the American Revolution).

HNP Ahmer Responds: I also found the thing at the DOA to be rather awkward. I was thinking how Cliff would EVER spot Sue Ellen this way.

- Hair really causes continuity problems.  This time it's Pam's in the second bedroom scene.  It's over her left shoulder, behind her left shoulder etc. with every cut.

- The timing on this election seems off.  We know that Cliff's been campaigning, but this sudden selection of Cole seems way too close to the election.  Even with the little hints that time has passed, it all seems to have taken no more than about a month.

HNP Ahmer Responds: For State Senate, is this unreasonable? I don't really know.

AHN Val's corner:

- Cliff's campaign posters show his name as "Clifford". I believe this is the only time he is referred to by that name.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Technically, that is his name. You're right that it is very rare when we hear it.

- The Ewings are having cocktails in the study instead of the living room.

- Jock wants JR to take Martin shopping for some new clothes. I'll think he'll do more harm than good there. Martin must have conducted his campaign in safari shirts.

- At the Ewing's little election party, Bobby was sitting on the arm of that wingback chair. That's not a very heavy chair. It must have been nailed to the floor to support Bobby's weight without tipping over.

ANH Kyle's corner:

- Cliff really should be at a podium when he delivers his speech after losing the election. He just sort of seems to be standing with the crowd. Very odd.

ANH Sara's corner:

- Pam was working on her fashion show in the Ewing study.  Then she got all huffy when family members came into the study before dinner (like they always do) and asked her about what she was doing.  So she went upstairs with it. Why didn't she just go upstairs in the first place if she didn't want people to see what she was doing?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point. Usually they have drinks in the livingroom, though. Maybe she figured that the study was the best place to be.

- I enjoyed the Mary Tyler Moore impression Pam did when she yelled at J.R. and   Jock.

HNP Ahmer Responds: You mean the Daffy Duck tantrum? That was funny.

- Maybe Cliff's loss was due to his involvement with his fiance's abortion, but I think it was because of his extremely unattractive campaign posters.

AHN Pam's corner:

- J.R. referred to Jock as 'dad' again.

- Jock treated J.R. like an errand boy or one of his secretaries.  J.R. had to take Cole shopping? Certainly a man as important as J.R. has better things to do with his time.   Why didn't they just make an appointment wherever they purchase their suits and tell them what they wanted.

- Pam should be more careful when getting dressed in the morning.  Her blue slip was clearly visible through the slit in her dress twice in Cliff's apartment.

- Pam just barged in to J.R.'s office, maybe she was announced, it looked as if there may have been a cut. I don't have a problem with her confronting Jock and J.R., in fact I applaud it.  The problem I have is her smile cry.  Besides looking ridiculous, she should NEVER cry in front of them.  It gives them too much satisfaction.  If she needed to cry, she should've done it in front of Bobby. - Pam had the empty purse once again. - Peter must have been sitting on top of  the bartender when Cliff called.  He seemed to wait about a millisecond before beginning to speak to Peter. BTW, how many numbers did Cliff dial when he called the hotel and he must have had the number memorized he didn't even look at a cheat sheet.

HNP Ahmer Responds: He dialled seven numbers, but the sound track was mismatched.

- As someone mentioned the other day, they must really love Pam's work at the store.   She seemed to have a LOT of time to work on Cliff's fashion show. Also, she seemed able to get designs to bring home and models etc.  What does she do at the store.   For some reason I thought she was a clerk or something.  The other day she was working out on the floor and her purse was behind the counter.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She is a clerk for now. I guess she works Ewing hours.

Episode 14: Survival

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Pam and Rob]

> Pam "I can't just come and go as I please. I have to give them (The Store) the hours they pay me for." Gee, Pam.  It seems you'd been skipping out on your boss a lot in the  last FEW episodes.  Why should today be any different.

Angelica Award:

Pam's egregiously gaudy hat when returning to Southfork.

Pam Award:

Sue Ellen before getting drunk.

Bobby Award:

Lucy's flowered hair.

April Award:

Kent Jackson for thinking he stood a chance in hell of standing up to Ellie.

Sue Ellen Denial Meter: 1.

Tells Ellie she doesn't know what she means when she says the Ewings can become a real family.

- It's painfully obvious that the crash scene was done in a sound stage. I was half expecting Jim Phelps and his crew to emerge and rip off their masks.

- Sue Ellen tells Cliff that JR didn't tell her where he sent Rita Briggs - but that's not true. I distinctly remember that JR said that Rita was on a bus to California.

- As if he's not enough of a moron, Kent Jackson refers to Bobby as "Robert" when talking to Ellie.

- I'm a bit confused about Kent Jackson's appearance at Southfork. Obviously Ray was guarding the ranch house, and he only slipped into the house for a moment when Jackson knocks. So was Kent waiting just out of sight until Ray disappeared? Seems hard to believe.

- Lucy places a person-to-person call to Las Vegas and then tells the operator that she'll speak to whoever's in charge. Uh, no. A person-to-person call requires that you specify the name of the person to whom you wish to speak, otherwise you are not charged.

From Rob Trimble:

- It looked to me like Bobby and JR were transported directly to Southfork  from the plane crash ! They should have gone to the nearest trauma facility for a checkup as that was a bad looking crash. Their wounds would have been cleaned  and bandaged if they had gone to a hospital first.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah...but these are the Ewings. They can call Harlan to make a house call.

- Awful curious that Ray has a pilots' license for helicopters, but has a presumably lower paying job as a ranch foreman.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's a good point. I don't know what kind of license you need for a copter - it's probably similar to the difference between getting a motorcycle license vs. a car license.

ANH Matt's corner:

- Does everyplace in Dallas have a liquor cart?  I thought it was weird in Jenna's house, but when Pam and Liz were in NY, do they really need all this booze?

- At lunch with Cliff, Sue Ellen turned down more champagne.  That has to be a first.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah. Good point. Hadn't even thought of that.

AHN Jason's corner:

- There seems to be a sharp cut right after the opening footage of the bridge in NYC.    Probably the events leading up to Bobby and Pam's fight. - Sue Ellen tells Cliff that she saw Buzz "the other day". In reality, she saw him what must have been weeks ago, if the episodes are to be taken in the order they were aired.

HNP Ahmer Responds: But they most certainly are NOT. I'm sure that Episode 10 was filmed in close proximity to this, most likely to accomodate Ken Kercheval's schedule.

- Sue Ellen's coffee cup at lunch looks untouched.

AHN Val's corner:

- In her argument with Bobby, Pam's voice sounded WAY different. It didn't even sound like the same person.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Horribly dubbed. You're right.

- Dr. Danvers got REAL old, REAL quick. He was at least 20 years younger only five episodes ago.

HNP Ahmer Responds: But that wasn't the real Dr. D with his bag of downers. "Bypass" was an OLD episode - filmed before Reunion, and before John Zaremba arrived on the scene.

- Miss Ellie wants all the women to "act strong"--as if nothing was different--for Jock's sake. Pam and Sue Ellen were sure that their husbands were dead, and couldn't mourn properly. Personally, I don't think I could honor such a request. In fact, I wouldn't even try.

- Ray walks into the main house without knocking. Even at this point, he's more of a Ewing than he believes.

- In the first Ray/helicopter scene, the chopper used was plain white. Only in the second such scene, in which close-ups were shot was the actual SF chopper with the yellow stripes shown.

- The fake Southfork was used today. This is the first time, I think. The pool sides were curvy, and the coach lights that were next to the driveway only two episodes ago were gone.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite possible. I'm formulating a theory that for whatever reason, Ken Kercheval was in California at the time and that's why all of these episodes which feature him are not filmed "entirely in the State of Texas".

ANH Alett's corner:

- I know the reunion at the end has to be dramatic and all, but it looked choreographed.   OK, you all walk out and pause.  Now 5 steps forward and pause again.  I expected Pam at least to run out to Bobby.  Poor Lucy.  No one hugged her.

- Yeah, I know.  We need Jock and Ray  to be heroes.  Gee, I guess those pilots of the rescue planes, who basically do this for a living, would never have spotted the signals.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought about this too..."three life jackets...three signal fires...nope. Couldn't mean anything. Let's try over there, Ernie."

AHN Pam's corner:

- They must love Pam's work at The Store.  I'm under the impression she's a clerk.   So why did she accompany that trailertrash Liz on a BUYING trip? Also, Pam missed Bobby so the trailertrash told her it was OK to pack up and go home?  This is so bizarre! No one would ever do this, it's so unprofessional! Guess Pam CAN come and go as she pleases!  Contradicts her statement I'd say!

- I found it strange that Ray was the ONLY chopper around when he found J.R. and Bobby.   I thought there was a whole SEARCH PARTY out looking for them.  Where were they?  No other choppers, no trucks driving around, no one on foot, this was very strange.

HNP Ahmer Responds: If they were to be shown, they would have to be PAID. Man, I never thought I'd say that after Season 13 went by.

AHN Rob's corner:

- Was it really necessary for Ray to give anti-reporter orders to the ranch hands in a dark room?  Is this for effect or something?

- And another thing: Ray tells the ranch hands to keep two men on each main entrance to Southfork.  I don't seem to remember more than just one.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think he said each of the main "roads" or something like that. But I think you could be right.

- Okay, okay, we're all glad to see JR and Bobby make it home alive; but I have a problem with HOW they got home.  They got home WALKING! Walking STRAIGHT, I might add!   With only a few FLESH WOUNDS!  You'd think they'd fallen out of a TREE HOUSE rather than from 5,000 feet!  Did you see the NOSE DIVE that plane took?  It's a wonder no one was killed!  Well, maybe the PILOT didn't make it, seeing as how he's not amainline character; but still.

AHN Sara's corner:

- During the fight scene with Sue Ellen and Pam, Sue Ellen puts an ice cube in her drink (and didn't put the top back on the ice cube holder thing), then walks towards the couch. The next time she takes a sip of her drink, the ice cube has magically disappeared. Then she finishes her drink and puts the glass down.  In the next shot the glass is suddenly in Sue Ellen's hand again and the ice cube is back.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah, musical drinks. Good one.

- So while Ellie was outside telling off the reporter Jock came downstairs and heard the whole thing and found out about J.R. and Bobby.  Although that in itself was far-fetched (how could Jock have heard Miss Ellie, who was outside and talking pretty quietly?), what was even worse was that when Ray went inside to get the shotgun, he must have seen Jock on the stairs, but he didn't tell Miss Ellie.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, Ellie did shout at the guy a couple of times and Ray was dumb enough to leave the door open. And since Ray obviously didn't see THE REPORTER, who must have been hanging around near the house and approached soon after Ray came inside, I guess he wasn't paying much attention to Jock near the stairwell.

s - And of course, no one cared about the pilot of the plane.

HNP Ahmer Responds: In this case, "caring" means "paying".

Episode 15: Act of Love

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Sue Ellen to JR: "I'm pregnant.   We're gonna have a child."  Later Cliff to Sue Ellen: "You're gonna have a baby.  You're pregnant." (Now that we all have a definition of what pregnant means...)

Angelica Award:

Jock's plaid pants.

Pam Award:

Sue Ellen for the lingerie look.

Bobby Award:

Nothing terrible.

April Award:

Sue Ellen for not doing the math and giving JR a reasonable answer about when her baby was conceived.

- Let me just state the obvious: this episode is clearly filmed on a set, and there is some tremendously bad dubbing.

ANH Jason's corner:

- Sue Ellen and Cliff talk about having made love for 6 weeks. According to JR, this would be before Lucy's birthday in episode 12.  Yet in episode #13, Election, they seem to just be at the flirting stage.

HNP Ahmer Responds: All together: BADLY out of sequence episodes. Pathetic.

- JR and Sue Ellen talk about the last time they made love was when he came home for a weekend from Austin.  If Sue Ellen is correct, this may be the time he (kinda) forced her into having sex in episode 10-although I wasn't aware he was home for a weekend at that point.  Now this happens before Lucy's birthday in episode 12, so it would match more reasonably up with the events (if you discount Cliff and Sue Ellen's banter of their 6 weeks together.)

- Bobby and Pam seem to have a very early swim.  What time is it supposed to be?   7 AM?  and Pam is on the lounge chair, sunning. - Pam was sure evasive about asking Sue Ellen for help with the party. I don't see why she didn't just come out and ask.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Because then she wouldn't interrupt her time with Cliff.

- The dubbing in this episode is the pits.   Pam and Sue Ellen seem to be on helium in certain scenes.  In the scene where she answers the phone call from the doctor, Sue Ellen seems to mouth a word AFTER her voice finishes. - JR and Sue Ellen seem to be sitting very close (physically) at the dinner table.  I suspect that the camera man or director wanted them in close for a shot together.

AHN Val's corner:

- If Pam had to be at work in an hour, what's she doing in the pool? She should be on her way out the door at that point. It has been established that Southfork is quite a distance from Dallas, so I would think she has quite a commute (more than a half-hour) ahead of her.

- OK, here's something that's ALWAYS bothered me about TV dramas/soaps. The women start "feeling queasy" all of a sudden, and they have NO IDEA what's wrong with them!!! We saw this today with Sue Ellen. She didn't even CONSIDER the possibility that she might be pregnant!!! Well, gee, you're sick! And how about your period? If she is six weeks pregnant, then she is DEFINITELY late. In the real world, most women...OK, MANY women are very aware when they might be pregnant. It's only the soap opera women who need to get a clue.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I agree. I was going to say it but I'm glad you did.

- Tacky, tacky move, Sue Ellen. She told the family of her pregnancy BEFORE even telling her husband. The Daddy should ALWAYS be the first to know. She should have just made something up to explain away that phone call. Second, what was she thinking telling JR such important news OVER THE PHONE??? Such important news should be delivered in PERSON. Yeah, I know Jock dialed the phone, but again, Sue Ellen could and should have made something up, then explained to the family that she wanted to tell JR in person. - Bobby made a comment about JR having the first baby? This is not accurate because first off, Gary holds that title (or do girls not count in that family). Sure, Bobby may be referring to a GRANDSON, but we don't even know that yet. Second, at this point, for all anyone knows, Sue Ellen could be carrying a girl.

HNP Ahmer Responds: There's been talk about the first Ewing heir for a long time. I guess Lucy doesn't count and she doesn't seem to mind.

- When JR returned home from his trip, he asked his parents where Sue Ellen was. Miss Ellie said she was IN TOWN at a doctor's appointment. She must have taken the bus, or something. Her car was definitely parked in the driveway.

- JR and Sue Ellen toast her pregnancy with CHAMPAGNE!?!?!? OK, perhaps it was sparkling cider, but JR doesn't strike me as the cider type. I also know that they know about the dangers of drinking during pregnancy, because it comes up later in the season. It just seems odd that JR would give Sue Ellen a drink, considering that he scorns her for that very thing later on.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess he figures one can't hurt. Very strange.

ANH Alett's corner:

- Just a few things I found annoying - First that jerky camera movement at the beginning.  Yes, it's supposed to show the morning chaos, but it's enough to give us motion sickness.  Then a wide angle lens is used just to be able to film the cramped elevator.  The edges were bowed out.  Finally,  on the fake scenery by the patio we can see a dividing line on the grass as it butts up to meet the backdrop.   All these popped out at me without rewinding the tape.

- Jock keeps telling Ellie that he's as good as new, but he doesn't seem to have the strength to carve the meat for dinner.  Maybe the meat is too tough since they haven't found Theresa yet.

- Liz tells Bobby she has a dress for Pam that's "a number guaranteed to stop traffic".  That peach and brown thing she gives him tells me the store needs a new buyer.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I completely forgot about that! That's right! They should fire Liz Craig's monkey ass right now and save us the trouble of looking at her every episode.

- A couple grammar nits - For Sue Ellen it's "between you and me" not "between you and I", and for Pam it's "than you and I" not "than you and me".

HNP Ahmer Responds: And Liz Craig saying "Not I" when Pam says she's lying.

AHN Matt's corner:

- In the previews before the show, we see JR in a short, silk robe, with his tighty whiteys hanging out.  Enough Said. - When Sue Ellen drops JR off at the airport, she stops on a crosswalk, which is grossly illegal, oh wait, she's a Ewing, nobody cares.

- How did Jock know JR's number at the hotel?  Even if it was written down, he dialed pretty quickly, and why woteh number be written down outside with near all the ugly yellow furniture?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Outstanding nit. I'm ashamed of all of us for not catching this.

AHN Sara's corner:

- J.R.'s plane to Washington was too big for a three hour trip.  Big planes like that are usually used for international flights. - Sue Ellen must be an alcoholic because, looking at her blood sample, her heart is pumping Bloody Marys instead of blood.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess they couldn't come up with fake blood for this.

- Sucks for Sue Ellen that she has to actually go to Dr. Danvers' office while everybody else gets a house call.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps she prefers it this way. All of the women seem to, for non-emergencies. And for physicals. I don't think they want Harlan to probe them while they're lying on the couch.

- A buyer for The Store "moves in the best circles?"  Oh please.

- Check out Sue Ellen's wine glass at her lunch with Pam today.  In one shot, it is in her hand.  In the next, it is on the table with less wine in it. Then in the next shot it is back in Sue Ellen's hand with more wine in it.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I was watching for this. Can't believe I missed it.

AHN Pam's corner:

- OK, here's my Pam work nit of the day.  Pam heads off to work saying that she is the cheap help and has to do inventory.  So if she's the cheap help why was she on a buying trip with Liz?  Also, I found it very strange that she would go from being a clerk doing markdowns to a buyer, not even an assistant buyer, but a buyer.  I was in this field for awhile and believe me, it is NOT that easy!  Besides that, how has she proved herself to be a worthy employee?  She takes almost every afternoon off. - Where is the dining room located?  Yesterday they showed the front of the house and then cut to the dining room.  Today they showed the front of the house and panned to the left and then cut to the dining room. This is very confusing.

HNP Ahmer Responds: My guess: the camera people don't know or don't care or don't see fit to match the close-ups with the action.

- Pam carried the empty purse today.

- Pam's black leather trimmed tan suede dress with the boots soomed very inappropriate.   It was obviously very warm outside, she and Bobby went for a swim.  Yet that dress seemed like it was a winter outfit.

- Lucy stormed out of the house and left the door wide open.  The sliding door was also left wide open on more than one occasion.  This was ridiculous!  Not only would every bug be inside the house but it can't be helping if the air conditioning is on.

- Sue Ellen is always preaching about what proper ladies do and don't do.  Well, a proper lady wouldn't cause a scene in a restaurant as Sue Ellen did when Pam mentioned the party.  She had a million things to do...what?  Suck down another bottle of wine?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think she meant positions.

- There are two wall sconces in the Ewing Oil office lobby that look like they have would hold those candle light bulbs.  These seem like they would go better in a living room, not in the lobby of an office!

AHN Mike's corner:

- Bobby's business associate Morris calls the Ewing ranch SouthFORK instead of SOUTHfork.

HNP Ahmer Responds: He must not be a local.

- Pam must be a real sap if she believes Sue Ellen when she says she skipping out of lunch because she's feeling "a bit queazy". She's already drank half a bottle of wine which apparently had no queazy factor at all.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She is a sap, but what's she going to do? She dragged Sue Ellen all the way over.

- Pam's boss needs a reality check. Being an assistant buyer in training for some local department store is "the chance of a lifetime"???? Get real. Pam's husband can buy the friggin' store for Pam for her birthday and make her the store manager.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That woman needs a reality check, a face lift, a tummy tuck, a boob job, a personality overhaul, a laryngeal scraping, and a lobotomy. I CANNOT and WILL NOT ever say anything good about Liz Craig. God, I hate that woman.

Episode 16: Triangle

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Matt]

> Bobby says to Pam about Ray, "I admire his taste in women."  Then Pam says, "you like her?!"

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, Pam, MAYBE Bobby likes you.  He married you, didn't he?

Angelica Award:

Garnet for everything.

Pam Award:

Pam by default again.

Bobby Award:

Dan the record producer.

April Award:

Lucy for being a blabbermouth.

Since I don't remember much, I'll leave it to the AHNs today.

ANH Alett's corner:

- Ok.  I'll admit that peach and brown dress isn't as hideous as I thought it would be.  You guys would probably say Pam could even make a Miss Ellie sack dress look good.  This is the big party to impress the Faradays, so where are they?  This was such a huge deal in #15, Pam should have at least 45 seconds to work her magic on Mr. Faraday.  By the way, the Ewing men are lousy dancers.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Was that THE dress? Didn't even notice. I'll have to take another look.

- Is that bronze snail on JR's desk supposed to be symbolic?  Like a snail he leaves a trail of slime everywhere he goes.

- Security at The Pines  really stinks.  There's no one at the front desk, and the front door is open.  Since Garnet is on the third floor, how would Bobby know where her room is?

HNP Ahmer Responds: There's probably a directory in the lobby. Or maybe he visited the superintendent's place and said 'Look, pal, I'm Bobby Ewing...'

AHN Val's corner:

- Bobby asked the waitress for a round of drinks. Geez, Bobby, could you be a little more VAGUE about that? What KIND of drinks? Soda? Bourbon? Apple juice?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably he means whatever they've been drinking all night.

- Driving Garnet home, JR drove clear down the street with the turn signal on. That alone makes him an old fogey.

- Ray wants he and Garnet to get married in Mexico. First of all, if he's in such a hurry, what's wrong with City Hall? Second, why Mexico. I mean, it's not like she's a teenager and he's going off to war tomorrow.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's probably easier - no blood tests or anything. [I'm sure Garnet's got SOMETHING.]

- Very convenient that Garnet had a "His" bathrobe laying around for JR to use. Oh yeah! The tramp keeps it around for all her boyfriends.

- When screaming-banchee Lucy was chasing irate Ray through the ranch, he went for his truck, which was parked in the driveway of the main house. He must have read the script and knew that Pam would have to come out, hear the melee, and report back to Bobby. This would allow Bobby to save JR from getting the snot beat out of him.

HNP Ahmer Responds:'s POSSIBLE that this just happens to be the nearest truck. This is plot trickery, of course, but I don't think it's egregious.

AHN Jason's corner:

- The punch Ray gives JR is very obviously fake.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It had to be. Larry would have collapsed from a real punch.

- Garnet actually has a full purse.  Ironic because, unlike Pam and Sue Ellen, she is so poor, she wouldn't have any money to put in it.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Oh, but I'm sure she's got a lot of Ortho-Novum.

- Ray leaves for Odessa in the morning.. Say 10 AM.   He meets the bull guy at what looks like mid afternoon and then arrives back at Southfork before dusk.  How far is Odessa from Braddock?  I thought it was 8 hours. That would mean he arrives in Odessa at say 6PM and then back at Southfork at maybe 2 AM.  This doesn't work, if my time estimates are right.  (I thought Bobby and Michelle drove ALL night to get to Odessa 13th season.)

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's a good point! Let me pull out the atlas here...oh, wow, it is a long way. Further west than San Angelo. About three hundred miles as the crow flies, so the road is probably a bit longer. Say six hours each way. So if he left at 10 AM, he'd get there about 3:30 or 4 PM, then waste an hour or so discovering the bull's not for sale, and be back by 11 PM or so.

- Lucy is afraid that JR WILL KILL RAY!  Come on.....   I could see JR hiring men to kill him but no one will be there to do this if Ray gets to JR that night.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Here we go again with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Underaged Lucy is in a bar again with her uncle - and on a school night no less. Lucy's date appears to have a double digit IQ at best and his fashion sense seems to come from shopping the Ray Krebbs shirt collection.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's probably a mercy date for Lucy. She probably had to beg Jock to be allowed to go out with a boy and then had to settle for a ranch hand.

- Oh my God! Miss Ellie in a designer dress and jewelry at the Southfork party.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Barbara Bel Geddes is 56 at this point and is a rather lovely woman, in my opinion. She's got nothing to be ashamed of. This is how a rich oil baron's wife SHOULD dress. That was Donna Reed's one redeeming factor.

- Why is Lucy wearing a man's shirt and tie for most of the second half of the show?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Sublimation. [I guess.]

- Somebody should introduce Ray to the telephone. A simple phone call would have been in order to see if the guy was even home, let alone if the bull was for sale.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I have to think about this a bit. JR tells Ray that Jock wants him to go SEE the bull...the way he makes it sound, it's a done deal for the right price. I doubt these negotiations could realistically be done over the phone. It's plot trickery, of course, but not too bad.

- You have to be impressed with the hypocrisy of Ray's righteous indignation at the end. He conveniently forgets that he recently took advantage of and boffed JR's drunk wife and that he's been taking advantage of Lucy in the hayloft for years.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ray has never been any stranger to hypocrisy. I'm sure he would justify it by saying that Sue Ellen and Lucy were just flings, whereas he was SERIOUS about Garnet. I'm not sure whether that argument holds water.

AHN Matt's corner:

- Now, Raoul is a butler, he should help serve meals, answer doors, and phones, things like that.  Why is he setting up those cheap looking streamers for the party?  I mean, that would be like having some ranch hands, who are supposed to work cattle, be the security service for the ranch, Oh wait, they did that.  These Ewings really save money by having these employees doing strange tasks.

- How often does Lucy visit Ewing Oil?  And was it that important that she had to ask JR about being a singer?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I have a feeling she's done this before and those scenes have been cut. Perhaps in this very episode. Good point about Lucy actually taking the time to come down - how would she get there?

- Lucy is hornier than Marilee Stone.

HNP Ahmer Responds: THAT is a very bold statement, my friend. It almost sounds like it should be followed with the word, "Discuss."

AHN Sara's corner:

- J.R. looked like he was talking to the streamers during the party.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's what you get when you're too cheap to pay the extras.

- J.R. parked in front of a red zone when he dropped Garnet off.  Not only that, but JR found the only red zone on the entire curb and went right for it. You could argue that he was only planning to be there for a few seconds, but he asked Garnet if he could go to her apartment so I think he was planning on staying for a while.  Also, a few scenes later, we see that Ray is parked in a legal spot. He can't park in red zones because he isn't a Ewing yet.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Can't believe I missed it.

- After Garnet leaves the car we can see that the headrest on her seat is facing almost totally down.  Must have been a pretty uncomfortable car ride for her.

- Lucy says she didn't expect to see Ray until tomorrow, so what is she doing at his house?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps she saw a light on at his place...but does she have a hidden camera or something? Good point.

AHN Pam's corner:

-  Jock gave Ray a piece of Southfork land, I don't have a problem with this, it's a REALLY nice gift for 20 years of service.  But I would think for such an occasion, Ray would've been invited to the house for a celebratory dinner or something.  I would at least have thought Ellie would've been present when Jock presented him with the deed.  Strange.

- Lucy just walked in to Ray's place without even knocking.  How rude!  He really should lock his door. Garnett should also lock her door, Ray was able to walk in without having to kick the door in or anything. He was very quiet about it!

- This could be considered very tasteless but I have to mention it anyway.  We know that Garnett and Ray have used Garnett's bed for their own 'activities'. Then Garnett and J.R. also used her bed for her 'exclusive services'.  Yet, they are using the SAME sheets that Ray and Garnett used!  I hope she at least washed them, but when did she have time?  YUCK!!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yuck is right but for someone like Garnet I'm not surprised.

- Here's a good one.  J.R. told Ray that he wanted him off of Southfork by sun up.   He really couldn't kick him off anyway, Ray now OWNS a piece of Southfork that was given to him by Jock!  Even if Jock were to fire Ray, Ray could stay on Southfork anyway.  I guess J.R. didn't know about that little land deal.....

HNP Ahmer Responds: I see the point. I guess the question is, is Ray's land still part of Southfork? Technically?

Episode 17: Fallen Idol

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Pam: "I'm sorry Bobby. I think I may have hurt him [Guzzler]."

HNP Ahmer Responds: (Considering how she nailed him, she "may have" hurt him? Besides at this point, who gives a rip whether she hurt him or not.)

Pam Award:

Good ol' Pam. She's almost brought my mojo back.

Angelica Award:

Guzzler. Duh.

Bobby Award:

Guzzler. Double Duh.

April Award:

Guzzler takes the trifecta for making a pass at Pam. [Perhaps Pam for not kneeing him in the groin.]

- Does anyone else find this hard to believe? Last episode, Jock gave Ray a piece of Southfork for his years of service on the ranch. We can only assume that he did this with Ellie's blessing. Yet in this episode, they are hesitant to let Bobby use a piece of Southfork for his development project! From the dialogue, it does not appear that they are extremely worried about what's going to happen to the land [so long as it's not drilled for oil]. There is no evidence that the fact that it is Section 40 is significant. So why was it so easy to give Ray a chunk and not Bobby?

- When Jock invites Guzzler into the livingroom for his "drinking contest", shouldn't Ellie nag him about not imbibing? She must have missed a cue or something.

- JR calls Ellie "Mother" and "Mom" during this episode. What is up with that?

- I want to know how Jeb and Willie Joe knew about Bobby's plans to build his shopping center at 9 AM Monday morning, especially after the plan seems to have been made on a weekend. Do they have people watching that property day and night? Sheesh.

From Kim James: I don't know if you'd consider this a nit or not (tongue twister!) but there's a scene between Jock and Bobby. Jock is asking Bobby's opinion on where to place a small horse statue.  If you notice, the camera focuses in on a spot on the bookcase and there's is prominently on the shelf an AA "Big Book", which I thought was interesting. (It's a navy blue book with large white letters that read Alcoholics Anonymous).  This is not a common book someone would have as a prop in my opinion.  Someone on the set must have been in recovery from alcoholism.

From Julie:

No one mentioned this nit, although there could be an explanation: Bobby & Guzzler drive to the bar in Bobby's car, but come home drunk in a cab. Could be that one of the "ranch hands" will go get the car the next day! 

HNP Ahmer Responds: Certainly it would have been a bigger nit if they had driven home drunk. Good point, though.

- Also, regarding the nit about what's the difference between Ray getting SF land for his house & Bobby having so much trouble getting land for a shopping center: I understand the difference quite well, as would anyone who grew up in the country on many acres of land. There's a HUGE difference between building a home on a parcel of land than paving acres with concete and building a shopping center. The problems with the shopping center (versus the home) are pollution (sewer, trash, dust), traffic, water run-off...Shopping centers bring a lot of people every day, and those people bring trash, traffic, noise, etc. urban sprawl is a touchy topic now, and Ellie was ahead of her time with her remarks! Just my opinion...

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, Jason mentioned this too. I'm sure you're right but I was just really surprised that there had to be so much debate over Bobby's idea, whereas they just decided to hand over a parcel of their precious land to an outsider.

AHN Alett's corner:

- The snail is gone from JR's desk then mysteriously appears again later. - Bobby's basically a dope for believing Guzzler kept that ball for HIM all these years.   If it's Bobby's as the winning quarterback, why wouldn't Bobby have had it all along?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Depends. Maybe Bobby gave it to him.

- Bobby and Guzzler both need to take lessons from Digger on how to look like convincing drunks.  As far gone as Bobby supposedly is, he should have had a  much more serious hangover the next morning.  Frolicking in the pool would have been the last thing on his mind.

- The "plastic surgery" on Jeb and Willy Joe isn't an improvement.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Are they different? I don't believe so...maybe Jeb.

- Besides her bad hair, what is with that gold hoop sort of implanted in Pam's left ear?   It's against her cheek heading up near her ear canal, not the lobe.  It looks more like an acupuncture device than an earring.

- In the final episode of the series, JR is so upset that brother "Jason" built houses on Southfork.Granted he took over the whole ranch, but Bobby is the one who started this with those nondescript row houses.  Even though he's a Ewing, if this area has been zoned for residential, isn't he going to have a bit of a problem building a shopping center?  Unless they're planning to get back to this issue later, Bobby could still build his smaller shopping center creating the same problem for JR.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure the Ewings could influence the county to rezone the place. And JR couldn't care less if it weren't for the oil.

AHN Jason's corner:

- We clearly are treated to the "fake Southfork" again today. Ellie's speech about letting the land stay untouched would have had a lot more meaning if she was standing by a painted backdrop while she lectures Bobby.

- Not a nit exactly, but it is a shame that Lucy didn't shag Guzzler. She hasn't had a stupid relationship since Ray dumped her.   And the writers just let Cliff slip through her fingers.  NOW that would be a great pairing.......

AHN Matt's corner:

- JR mentioned Farrah Fawcett.  I think that this is the first "real world" reference on Dallas.  There are two others I can think of from later seasons, but this is the first.  Dallas Real World Meter- 1

HNP Ahmer Responds: You're right that it's very rare.

- Bobby seems eerily ignorant about Section 40.  He should have known better.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess they don't talk about it much.

ANH Sara's corner:

- I'm pretty sure I saw some of the same people in both of Bobby and Guzzler's walking scenes at the beginning of the show

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure you did.

- I know someone mentioned before how Bobby wasn't looking at the camera in the Ewing family portrait...I got a close look at it today and it looks like no one in the picture is looking at the camera except for Jock and JR.  They should have gotten it done at Sears, where you can see the pictures before you buy.

HNP Ahmer Responds: The Ewings? At Sears? Yikes. Talk about low budget.

- I think Guzzler almost tripped over that plant and fell over in the scene where he and Bobby were drunk.

HNP Ahmer Responds: My guess: this was the best take.

- Willie Joe and Jeb wore the same clothes in every scene and for that alone they deserve to get the smackdown from JR - A friend of mine who was watching with me compared Bobby's hair to Lego hair.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Except that Lego hair is utilitarian.

ANH Mike's corner:

- The super-rich Ewings have a rotary phone in the den? That must be a bitch for Sue Ellen to use when she's loaded!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Was it rotary? Didn't notice.

- The idea that Guzzler would try to put the moves on Lucy (who is young enough to be his daughter) while a guest at SF is disgusting. Of course, the fact that the little tramp would encourage him is probably even worse.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I've never known her to turn away advances [other than guys named Roger].

ANH Pam's corner:

- Guzzler is a real idiot!  He threw a football down the street through a crowd of people??  This is truly a dumbass move!  He could've hit somebody!  He was lucky Bobby was such a great catcher.

- Did you happen to notice that Guzzler looked much too old to have been in college with Bobby?  Bobby was supposedly a junior in college when they met, around 21 or so I would imagine, so what was Guzzler?  A senior, supposedly 22 or so?  I guess one year made a big difference in 'being around' more.  If Guzzler is in fact much older, he either flunked A LOT (not too much of a stretch!) or he took a long time off after high school before starting college which is possible.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I suspect the former. God, he's lame.

- I guess Bobby's meeting wasn't too important. He cancelled it to go have lunch with Guzzler without even batting an eye!  This is again very unprofessional behavior.   I'm sure he didn't tell him the reason for his cancellation, but I'd still be miffed if I were his business associate and he canceled at the last minute.

- Bobby said that Guzzler was his best friend.  Then Guzzler said they haven't written, or spoken I would also assume, in six or seven years.  Some best friends! I speak to my best friend quite often.  We live outside of Chicago and my husband speaks to his best friend quite often and he's in California!  We never hear a mention of Guzzler again, obvious reasons I suppose.  Also, doesn't Matt Cantrell also claim to be Bobby's 'best friend' when he hits up Pam for the emerald mine deal?   He also said he played football with Bobby in college, so shouldn't he too have known Guzzler, since he knew Jenna?  That would've been a perfect time to mention Guzzler again.  Matt also stated that Bobby was VERY confident, contrary to Guzzler's portrayal of Bobby. The latter could be written off because it was during the dream season.  It just seems strange that every 'friend' of Bobby's that shows up is his 'best friend'. Sheesh!

HNP Ahmer Responds: An outstanding point. I'm sort of ambivalent about what I'm thinking - can you imagine if, during her dream, GUZZLER returned to Ewing Oil, rather than Matt Cantrell? And swept Pam off her feet? Jeepers...Guzzler makes that icky Mark Graison look cool.

- Pam seemed very unimpressed with Guzzler's tales at the dinner table.  She was smiling when she was looking at Guzzler but then when she turned to face Jock the smile disappeared and she had an almost disgusted look on her face.  Maybe she was just pissed off that she lost her seat at the dinner table to Guzzler.  That was strange.   Some symbolism perhaps? Guzzler literally and figuratively comes between our resident love birds??

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good one. If I were her, I'd want Bobby in between us. Otherwise I'd figure to have a whole lot of Guzzler's fingerprints all over my dress.

- When Pam woke up to find Bobby still not home, the clock read 3:10.  It looked awfully light in their bedroom for 3:10 in the morning!

- Pam asked Guzzler what his plans were for Lucy and he said that he never discusses what might happen with a lady.  Apparently Guzzler didn't care that this 'lady' was not only best-friend Bobby's niece but also JAIL BAIT!

- When Pam woke up in the middle of the night and then again later in the episode, she was in full makeup and her hair was done.  Not only that, she slept in a pair of comb barrettes!  I've worn them and I can't imagine sleeping in them!  They would have to be so uncomfortable stabbing her in the head all night.

- I'm not sure how much time passed between Bobby and Guzzler coming up with their shopping mall idea and Miss Ellie walking in and seeing the drawings. They seemed to get those drawings awfully fast for a project that turned out to be much larger than originally intended.

Episode 18: Kidnapped

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Matt, Sara, and myself]

> Cliff comes in the Ewing house "....the last clue was a dead end." > Pamela, "What about Bobby?"

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, gorgeous, I think that since he is not following Cliff, and since Cliff didn't say, "Bobby's rescued", and since he said it was a DEAD END, I don't think that Bobby was there.

Pam Award:

Pam, by default.

Angelica Award:

Fay's skanky fur coat. I wonder how many dead raccoons she had to skin.

Bobby Award:

Al, the blond kidnapper. Rob wondered whether he combed his hair with a spoon. My guess: a spatula.

April Award:

Too many to count. My vote goes to the kidnappers for general incompetence. The only other people I would consider are the FBI for not catching them and throwing their pathetic monkey asses in jail already.

- One of the kidnappers, while they are reviewing pictures of the Ewings, refers to Lucy as 'JR's granddaughter'. Somebody needs to do some more homework on Ewing relationships.

- And why in the world do they have a picture of Ray in their set of slides? Did they take eleven snapshots, and they had one more in the roll?

- When Bobby asks the secretaries for JR's spare car key, Connie pulls it out of her drawer. Wait a minute...isn't Louella JR's secretary? Shouldn't she have it?

- JR tells the bimbo he has an appointment at 2:30 but then decides that Mr. Winky's cold and needs to go inside again. Then he tells Pamela that he learned that someone called to tell the office that Bobby had not shown up at his building site at 4:30. That means that he was at least two hours late for his appointment. Hope it wasn't someone important.

- I don't think I need to emphasize how lame the kidnappers were, but I'll give them credit for one thing: most of their hidden instructions were in pretty good hiding places. Except for that one under the park bench - that was too easy. I'm amazed someone else didn't already pick it up.

- When Cliff comes to Southfork the second time, he knocks and JR answers the door. Where the hell is Raoul? What exactly is this guy's job description?

- And then later in the episode after Cliff's scavenger hunt, he waltzes right into the house, without knocking, through the unlocked door. The Ewings should fire Raoul's monkey ass. He's lazier than Florence from The Jeffersons.

- Here's an interesting one. The first time the kidnappers call Southfork, the FBI agent who's listening tells the family that the call was not long enough to be traced. On a hunch, I turned on my VCR timer, and he was surprisingly accurate! That call lasted only 52 seconds - eight seconds too short to get a definite trace. But then the other kidnapper calls later in the episode to set up the exchange for Bobby. This call lasts 85 seconds...long enough to get a trace! Too bad the FBI agent was dismissed.

- Cliff finds a note written by Bobby when he goes to the railway tracks. It begins, "Honey, please do what these men say." Someone please explain to me why Bobby would write such a note to Pam at this juncture. He knows Cliff is the go-between; he knows that Jock and Ellie are the ones who are going to come up with the money; he might suspect that JR has some cockamamie plan to try and rescue him. But why would Bobby be concerned that Pam would not co-operate and do whatever was necessary, under the circumstances? This doesn't make any sense at all.

- Except for the one where Bobby makes a phone call by pressing five numbers [see 87-88 summaries], this is the most blatantly nonsensical thing I have ever seen on Dallas. When the kidnapper contacts Cliff and agrees to exchange Bobby for the money, he tells him to come to a field near Denton at dawn. DAWN. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with these concepts, allow me to explain. Dawn is that point where the first light of the rising sun is visible in the morning; this is referred to as the 'break of dawn'. With me so far? Good. After Cliff hangs up the phone, he tells Jock that the exchange will take place at sunrise. SUNRISE. For those of you who may be unclear, sunrise is that point where the sun actually appears above the horizon. This takes place, typically, an hour or so AFTER dawn! If you live in the northern hemisphere, get up this morning at about 5:30 AM, just after DAWN. You will see hints of sunlight, but you will not actually see the sun until SUNRISE, which is about 6:30 AM. Is there a point to all this? Yes, there is, and I'm glad you asked. If Cliff is preparing to be at Denton at SUNRISE rather than DAWN, he will most likely find a dead Bobby Ewing and a bunch of angry kidnappers because he is an hour late! Let's even give Cliff the benefit of the doubt: let's say he misspoke when he said 'sunrise'. Jock doesn't know he misspoke; Jock should tell JR and Ray and the ranch hands to be at Denton at sunrise [I think it is safe to assume that Cliff doesn't know about the planned ambush]. So they should arrive an hour late. But they don't. And even if you think I'm simply being pedantic about this whole thing, you have to agree that just before Cliff arrives in Denton, there is an establishing shot of the sun well above the horizon - at least an hour or so above the horizon. Both Cliff and the kidnappers are two hours late! Not only that, but by the time the two cars meet up with each other, it is broad daylight! Broad, as in at least 9 or 10 o'clock in the morning. This is absolutely preposterous.

- And what the Sam Hill was Fay doing sitting in the car during the gunfight? That was so ridiculously lame. Do SOMETHING, woman!

ANH Jason's corner:

- Ken Kercheval is now credited in the beginning as an "also star". (Perhaps a mid-season contract thing?)

HNP Ahmer Responds: Must be. We see a lot more of Cliff in the upcoming episodes - not tomorrow, but he gets a great episode on Monday and is practically a regular thereafter.

- Theresa is mentioned (but not seen) by name for the first time today.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yup. And Lucy blames her for the baby fat.

- When Pam pulls out of Southfork in the beginning, she does not stop or slow down when she turns.  Instead, she just guns along even though a car is coming at her.  If she isn't careful, she could have a bad accident with, say, a large oil truck.

- OK, why don't the kidnappers go over what license plates are on Sue Ellen, Ellie, Jock and Pam's cars?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, would YOU want to look at Sue Ellen's ugly car?

- Since when do JR and Bobby park under Ewing Oil?  They have that nice spot out in front.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess they might have got an accidental ticket. Of course, they wouldn't have to pay it but the hassle might force them downstairs.

- Bobby, Bobby,  what the hell were you thinking?  You could have easily lost the kidnappers if you didn't, say.. oh I dunno... SLOW down as they were driving behind you!   He practically stops so they can cut him off!

HNP Ahmer Responds: That was totally ridiculous. Speed up and try to lose them, gimp!

- When Cliff comes to visit Southfork for the first time, Lucy is seen in the room with everyone else.  Yet, as the conversation on Bobby's kidnapping progresses, she seems to disappear.  You'd think that she would be there to get a hug or something.    Maybe try to make the moves on Cliff.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I wondered where she went too.

- In Bobby's wallet, the two shots of him and Pam seem to be virtually the same thing, just shot a different distances.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah. At first I thought one was a wallet size and the other was bigger, but you're right.

- The phone Cliff uses at Southfork to talk to the kidnappers seems to be missing most of it's cord.

- Bobby:  "I won't go to the police until after you are safely gone."   Man, that has to be the WORST thing a kidnapped person could say to the kidnapper.   Hey Bob, add this to it- "And I will try to forget what your faces looked like, even though you left my blindfold off and have been walking around in front of me for days."

HNP Ahmer Responds: But these kidnappers are LAME! It's almost like they want to get caught.

- Bobby seems to have shaved during his kidnap ordeal. - Why the heck don't the kidnappers chain Bobby to the bed all the time?  They left him basically unbound for the first half of the show, up until he tries to escape.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I have no idea. I guess because they're ridiculously LAME. [Sorry to keep harping on it, but it's true.]

AHN Matt's corner:

- When Bobby went to his car and discovered the flat, he threw his jacket in the back seat.  He did not have the jacket when he went to JR's car.

- Is it just me or does dirt-poor Cliff Barnes have a new car in every episode?

HNP Ahmer Responds: No, I think this the Barnesmobile - the same one Digger drove up to Southfork in Episode 7. I could be wrong.

AHN Sara's corner:

- The way Cliff was finding those envelopes the kidnappers left him so quickly makes me want him on my scavenger hunt team.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, he did a good job! Except that one at the park - that was easy.

- What was the point of having Faye come on to Bobby?

HNP Ahmer Responds: To make her look totally pathetic. It worked. I just wish Bobby would have told her that he thought she was an ugly disgusting skank. But that would be very un-Bobby-like.

- Check out Sue Ellen downing drink after drink in the living room scenes!

- I really don't understand why Jock and JR felt it necessary to assemble that army of ranch hands.  They know that the only time someone who was abducted by Faye and the other two was killed was when they were given fake money. So Jock and JR should really assume that the same will be true for Bobby and not put his life in more jeopardy than it already is.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's a 'just in case' thing - I think they were hoping to send the kidnappers to jail.

AHN Rob's corner:

- The kidnappers want to meat at "dawn," eh?  What time would that be, exactly?  Depending on the time of year that could be as early as 5:30 am and as late as 7:30 am.  Wouldn't an important situation as this plead for a more specific meeting time?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, considering that they met SEVERAL HOURS after dawn anyway, I suppose it's moot.

- Did you guys get a load of the fake graffiti on the walls of the room Bobby was holed up in?  I actually saw "KILROY WAS HERE" in that last hideout scene.   Pathetic.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I saw that too. I didn't get this...if this is an abandoned house [which I presume], why are there these sofas and magazines and a bed lying around? Did they go around the neighborhood looking for stuff people put out on the curb?

Another excellent point. This is a total head-shaker. - If the house the kidnappers were using as hideout were really abandoned, would they really have ELECTRICITY?  Just a thought...

ANH Mike's corner:

- I'll go for the lady kidnappers coat for the Angelica but we must give JR some special mention for quantity. First he wears a brown sportcoat over grey slacks. For the dawn shooting of the kidnappers he wears a kerchief under his safari coat. In fact, he looked like he's going on safari. Then he finishes out with a sport coat over a blue-ish Ray Krebbs shirt with a red kerchief.

- Teresa was seen later in the episode and she was a very foxy Hispanic lady, but not THE Teresa.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Where was she? I totally missed her.

- AHNs who have HBO and watch the Sopranos will understand when I say the female kidnapper talked like Livia Soprano. And if she was so dirt poor, how did she afford to get her teeth capped?

- Jock looks suitably bored and drunk at Southfork even after he's told Bobby's abandoned car is found, but he does a nice doubletake when Cliff later says he's been kidnapped.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess this "abandoned car" thing is getting to be old hat.

Episode 19: Home Again

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

> Garrison: "I didn't come here to disrupt your life, Ellie." Yeah, sure.

Pam Award:

Pam, by default. Especially that nightie.

Angelica Award:

Nothing too bad.

Bobby Award:


April Award:

JR for trying to buy Kathy off.

- Raoul is pretty incompetent in this episode. First, he's not around to answer the door at the beginning, when Garrison first shows up, even after Bobby tells him to [of course, this is awfully convenient for the writers]. Then, when Garrison comes back, he invites him in wordlessly. Is this normal? If some guy he's never seen before comes to the door and asks for Ellie, should he just wave him in? Wouldn't it be a good idea to ask him who he is and why he wants to see Ellie? It never ceases to amaze me how little value the Ewings put on their own security. They should fire this guy's candy ass - or at least pay for his laryngeal implant, if he truly is a mute.

- And why did Bobby invite the strangers into Southfork without even asking who they were?

- Ray Krebbs asks his friend Matt to look into any recent drilling at "the Southfork". Matt also uses this term for the ranch. While this is not incorrect, it is weird. It's sort of like referring to Batman as "the Batman" - awkward.

- JR asks Louella to get Jeb Ames on the line. Then he asks Jeb to put Willie Joe on the line. Why the heck didn't he ask Louella to get Willie Joe in the first place?

- JR calls Ellie "mother" twice in this episode. He also refers to Kathy as a "pretty young thing" before he has even seen her. I know Bobby referred to her as "attractive" but for all JR knows she might be in her forties, in which case she would be a "pretty middle-aged thing".

From Dallas Online Matt:

- I think I need to know what exactly the "Merchant Marines" are. Garrison apparently left Southfork shortly before the bank was ready to foreclose, and was in New York waiting to ship out on the day of Ellie and Jock's wedding. Miss Ellie says to him, "first Daddy...then you," which makes sense, since Aaron Southworth would have to think that Garrison was still alive in order to leave him Southfork. Anyway, I am almost positive that in later episodes, JR talks about Aaron Southworth like he had met him. But, if Garrison shipped out around 1935 (when Jock and Ellie married) and Aaron died before Garrison was lost, this doesn't make sense. JR was born around 1939, so Aaron must've died around 1944 or so for JR to remember him. (Sorry this is taking so long, but there is a point!) If Aaron died in 1944, Garrison was lost shortly after...but wait! Ellie and Garrison both seem to imply that he was lost at sea almost immediately after what gives? I wish these writers would pay more attention to the backstory in later episodes.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I see the point, Matt. Here's what I'm thinking: you've got to wait 7 years before you declare someone legally dead; so from the time he disappeared [say in 1939]. they would have had him declared dead in 1946. [Having Jock declared dead before 7 years was a very rare exception]. Perhaps during this time frame, Aaron died. Of course, the "real" backstory involves Aaron dying during the Depression, which triggered Ellie's need to marry Jock to save the ranch anyway. They had to backtrack in order to bring Garrison back the way they did. Having JR remember him is a really weird twist.

HNP Ahmer Responds: BTW, just for clarification: the Merchant Marines are an auxiliary of the Naval Reserve. They serve active duty during wartime and other national emergencies.

ANH Matt's corner:

- When Garrison first visited the whole family, he was only introduced to JR and Pamela. - I thought it was funny that at the end of the show, Garrison was commenting to Miss Ellies about the lush, green fields of Southfork.  Too bad he was standing right in front of a patch of dead grass.

ANH Jason's corner:

- The GODZILLA METER-  for the number of scenes with really bad dubbing.

  1. when everyone welcomes Garrison after Ellie recognizes him.
  2. Garrison when he turns around on the patio while arguing with JR
  3. Pam seemed to be dubbed when she talks to Bobby in bed about Garrison dying.
  4. I think the crude oil "blurp" seemed fake.

- Shouldn't Sue Ellen be putting on some weight?  She looks thinner now than she did BEFORE she was pregnant.

- Garrison makes it sound like Ellie and Jock got married after he left town.  He left town about 40 years ago, so that would be 1939 or so. Ellie and Jock were married like 1933 or 1935 the latest.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This whole thing is VERY confusing.

- Garrison was sure impatient.  He rang the door bell about 4 times in less than a minute.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Nervous, I guess. Wanting to get in.

Episode 20: For Love or Money

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Matt]

> Jock: "You want to have problems? Why didn't you do it before she had a baby?!"

Pam Award:

It was going to be Sue Ellen who has a rather warm glow, but after Pam showed up at Cliff's place...yikes! [Pam wins, no question.]

Angelica Award:

Patricia's ugly "as big as a" housedress.

Bobby Award:

JR looks like something out of Super Mario Brothers.

April Award:

Can't see anything obvious.

- Not a nit, just a note: when talking to Cliff, Ben Maxwell's friend enlists some of the things the OLM oversees: specifically, "building, drilling, ranching..."- hmm. Now who in Texas is well known for those things, at right about this stage of the story? [This is one of those times where Kyle would say it's about as subtle as being hit over the head with a hammer].

- Sue Ellen definitely has the empty purse when she visits Cliff in the middle of this episode.

- Dan Marsh and his detectives confuse me. I can understand it when he says it was easy to find out who Sue Ellen was sleeping with; but how in the world would he be able to discern that Sue Ellen has been going to his apartment for two months? Who would provide them with such information?

- Here is a very subtle one - my favorite kind. Would you believe that I can PROVE that Patricia Shepard's home is NOT the house we see JR approaching towards the end of the episode? Well, I can. Watch as JR walks towards the house. His shadow is in front of him, which means that the sun is directly behind him. Then when we see him at the door [which is shown from the exterior shot to be at the front of the house], and his shadow is against the wall. So is Patricia's! That means that either the shots don't match, or the sun has shifted at least three hours worth in three seconds!

- Why in the world would Sue Ellen put her wedding picture in plain view in the livingroom of Patricia's home?

- When Sue Ellen walks out of the house after JR tells her that Cliff won't commit to her, she doesn't grab a purse or anything. Yet we see her car at the park where they meet. So did she leave her keys in the ignition? Sure hope her driver's license is in the glove compartment.

- And I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Sue Ellen and Cliff's final conversation is quite obviously in front of a backdrop. Those ain't real trees.

From Dallas Online Matt:

- Since when does Marilee have one or more kids? I don't think there's ever any mention after this episode about her having children.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite correct. In fairness, they may be older - fifteen, sixteen, or whatever - so by the time it matters they're away at college or something.

- I think this may have been mentioned before, but there's no window in the front door according to the set, but there clearly is when they show the outside shot.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I believe it has been mentioned but it's an ongoing nit.

- When Sue Ellen comes to Cliff, to tell him she's leaving JR, there's some weird   painting behind her on the wall. (Before she turns, and it's visible when they show Cliff, too.) It looks like something Cliff made when he was three years old, and taped it up on his wall.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Looks like some kind of modern art.

- Why is the model of the South Dallas development plan in Cliff's office? He went to THEIR office early in the episode, and he told them off. Since he was so against it, I don't understand how the model got there. I suppose it's possible they sent it to him (in case he came around) but why would he keep it?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I suspect a cut at some point - a scene where Maxwell and his friends try to sweeten the pot or something.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Jock:  Whatever it takes, you bring Sue Ellen back to Southfork (because he and Ellie want a grandchild.)    That has to be the most selfish statement I have heard.  Why bring her back so she can be abused?

HNP Ahmer Responds: He has no idea. Sue Ellen does such a good job of portraying her happiness to the rest of the family - how could he know? Even Patricia Shepard doesn't really sympathize with her daughter's plight because Sue Ellen is in such self-denial.

- JR talks about sending Sue Ellen away to have a forced abortion. I seriously hope this was just a bluff.  I would hope even JR would draw the line at something like that.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't believe so. Remember that this is the guy who snatched Lucy away from Valene. He believes in his heart [though he tells Cliff differently, for his own reasons] that the child is not his - he doesn't care.

- Seems like there is new office furniture at Ewing Oil.

- JR tells Louella that she and Connie #3 can go home.  Isn't Connie Bobby's secretary?

HNP Ahmer Responds: But Bobby's not doing anything there, so I assume Connie has taken on some of Louella's duties.

Episode 21: Julie's Return

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Kyle]

To Pam and Bobby, wearing tennis outfits and holding rackets: > Jock: "Where are you going?"

Pam Award:

Pam's tennis outfit.

Angelica Award:

JR's safari suit...for dinner?

Bobby Award:

Julie's upswept hair.

April Award:

Julie for getting into another ridiculous situation.

- Hey, it's the REAL Connie! After 3 imposters! Woo-hoo! Wait until she gets the hair out of her eyes and starts wearing the tight blouses.

- Julie tells Victor the restauranteur that her number is 555-6144. Yet when Louella dials her at JR's request, she dials three fives and then two really long numbers on the rotary phone. 1 should not take a long time to dial.

- I'm a bit confused as to how Connie #4 knows who Ellie is as soon as she walks in the door. Even if we graciously grant that the Connie "character" has been at Ewing Oil since the season began, Ellie's never been there during that time.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- J.R seemed to be trying to contain his elation when he found out about his dad and Julie. What's up with that? Maybe it would make him feel good to realize that others fool around, but his Dad? That seems really weird. Shape up, J.R.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Jock is dubbed as he leaves Ellie's DOA meeting.

- Did anyone notice how Lucy's party music stops after her boyfriend bumps into the grill?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I missed that.

- Connie #4 seems to know that Jock eats at the Cattleman Club a lot and that he has a certain table by the window (which he did not have today) that he likes.  My question is how she would know this since even if she is supposed to be the same secretary that Bobby had in the Miniseries (played by Donna Bullock then) that secretary was hired on after Jock left Ewing Oil.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is one of those where we have to claim we don't deal in reality.

- Julie seems to know Louella, as she asks about her.  My question is how she would know this?  Bear in mind that Susan was hired to replace Julie and then Louella appears several episodes after Susan leaves.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes! Excellent call!

- How come Louella knows Julie's new phone number by heart?

HNP Ahmer Responds: She GOT IT WRONG, dude! Her number was 555-6144. Louella dials 555 and then two LONG numbers on the rotary phone.

AHN Pam's corner:

-  If Sue Ellen is supposed to be such a church goer, what was she doing hosting a DOA meeting on a Sunday morning?  I assume it's still morning, Pam said it was in the previous scene and it seemed like Jock just walked in to the house.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not sure whether Sue Ellen is much of a church GOER. I'm assuming she's a mingler.

- Lucy told Ray after the whole Garnett incident that she had very few friends.  If so, who were all of those people at the pool party?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Friends of friends who heard there was a pool party at Southfork.

- I was surprised to see that the Ewings used a Weber charcoal grill.  I would have thought they would have at least had a propane grill if not natural gas. It must take forever to BBQ around there.

- The establishing shot of Julie's apartment building is the same one used for many years for Cliff's 'real' apartment.  I can't believe he would even consider moving in that building after Julie......don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Are you sure? It didn't look like it...maybe it was the angle.

- Julie had a full bar set up on the kitchen counter. Doesn't she rate a portable bar cart like Jenna?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah, but Julie has another episode to go.

- Julie answered the door without asking who it was. She really should have considering she didn't have a peephole to see who it was!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think this is the first instance of forgetting the peephole. Happened a lot in Season 13.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Least believable dialogue: Lucy to her boyfriend after kissing him - "That's all you get." Yeah, right.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This guy looks so lame that he probably wouldn't know what to do if Lucy took off her bathing suit. And his name is probably Roger.

- I'm surprised nobody noted that one of the cartel members in the office scene was referred to as "Jordan" but it sure wasn't the Jordan Lee we all know. And what was with that weird half part in Seth Stone's hair? Very strange looking.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed but didn't really attach any significance to it. Could just be a coincidence.

- Jock's hair appears to have a blue or purplish tint all throughout this episode, just like a little old lady.

- My wife found a great nit: as the Ewings stew over where Jock is at dinner time, Pam says it's only 6:30, yet as the scene continues, less than a minute later Jock enters and the grandfather clock says five to eight.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I can't believe I missed this. I ALWAYS look at clocks on screen when I see them. This episode was dark and gloomy, though.

- The Cliff Barnes bad decor award goes to Julie Grey for that huge butterfly sculpture hanging on her kitchen wall. And in the scene with Julie at her apartment, Larry Hagman appears a few times to be looking past her and up to read cue cards.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Larry reading cue cards? Well, I suppose anything is possible.

- Jock is truly the man. Anyone who can finish a run and not have a drop of sweat on his sweatpants or anywhere else is one "cool" dude.

- This is surely the first (and only) time Lucy asks to be excused from the dinner table to STUDY for an exam!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. I was actually going to nominate Ellie for the April award since she believed this excuse.

Episode 22: The Red File, Part 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

> Pam: "Why don't you ask your brother?" > Bobby: "JR?" [courtesy of Pam]

Second Place: > Lucy:  "J.R.'s old secretary?" This after Jock mentioned Julie's death. 

HNP Ahmer Responds: Of course Lucy, how many Julie Grey's do you know?

Pam Award:

Pam visiting Cliff in jail. Julie deserves an honorable mention except she had her hair in her face the whole episode.

Angelica Award:

Julie's fur with the hat and scarf in the first scene. Almost as bad as JR's Aussie hunter look.

Bobby Award:

Bobby's over-grown hair....especially in his office with Ray when it's combed straight down in some weird bangs.

April Award:

Julie for going up to the roof of her building and cutting off any chance of her own escape.

- Take a look at Cliff's face after Julie's death. When the cops arrive to take him in, Cliff looks clean-shaven. Then, when we see him being arrested, he has some wicked 5 o'clock shadow. Then, when he is incarcerated and talks to Pam, he is clean-shaven again! Interesting.

- Ray refers to the ranch as "the Southfork" again.

- When Dan Marsh calls Jeb at home, Jeb answers the phone "Yeah". Does this seem reasonable, even for a slob like him?

- Julie's apartment has a side door? What kind of apartment building has side exits for each apartment? Wouldn't it be more reasonable for Julie to try and get out through the fire escape or something? At the very least, she should have gotten into a neighbor's apartment to hide. Jason responds: I actually have two doors to the hall in my small one bedroom apartment. Fire code regulations perhaps?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Sure, but would they have such regulations in the seventies?

- I'm not sure how Cliff knows where Julie lives, since she's just moved back into town and is obviously not in the same apartment. Certainly she didn't tell him during their earlier conversation.

- I think Pam has the empty purse today. At least, the one she threw on her bed sounded empty.

- You'd think the producers would spend SOME time establishing continuity for the most important part of an episode. But this is Dallas. When Jeb goes out to hunt for Julie, he leaves her apartment door wide open. So why is it CLOSED when Cliff arrives a little while later?

- And I'm not sure how the police managed to find Cliff's fingerprints all over Julie's apartment but not Jeb's. I understand that thanks to JR's tip, they must have searched for Cliff's prints; but wouldn't they also have found Jeb's fat ridges all over Julie's unmentionables? Julie Soskins points out that Jeb & Willie Joe both seemed to be wearing gloves during their fight with Julie, so possibly that is why there were no fingerprints found in her apartment.

ANH Jason's corner:

- Look at Cliff's tray when he leaves the building where he bought his food.    As he puts it down, the ketchup and drink are to the left side of it. As he heads to Julie's table, they magically switch to the right side.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Can't believe I missed it.

- I am confused about Julie's motives. She calls Cliff and leaves a message on his machine that she is willing to SELL info to him for the right price.  But the very next thing that she does is mail him the key. Why didn't she wait to hear from him and get paid first?  I realize for plot continuity, it is better that she did what she did, since she won't live to get any money, but from a real life prospective, playing your trump card before you get the payoff is ludicrous.

HNP Ahmer Responds: For the record, I agree. The only thing I can think of is that she knows Cliff's an honorable guy and he'll pay her off somehow.

- Why did Julie go all the way to the top of the stairs?  Why not get off on another floor and then use the elevator to go to the bottom? For that matter, is the way to the roof generally unlocked and available for renters to pass through?  Seems like a real liability.  I mean, someone could fall off and get killed.  (Snicker)

HNP Ahmer Responds: I've never lived in an apartment building so I'm not sure. I totally agree that going to the roof is moronic and the WORST thing you could do because it cuts off any hope of escape. I was thinking that Julie should knock on someone's door and hide, preferably on another floor. Unless Willie Joe has the ears of an owl, I doubt he'd be able to tell which floor.

- When Julie falls, it looks like (in the first shot) that she is going to hit the concrete perimeter, maybe even stay on roof.  But in the second shot, her body is further over the edge and she falls further away from the side of the roof.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Her fall is very awkward and deliberate. I think the impression that the producers are trying to give us is that she fell, sort of rolled over towards the edge, and then toppled over because of her body's momentum.

ANH Pam's corner:

- There were two real life references....well to TV shows and movies in today's episode.   First Bobby told Ray not to be such a Barnaby Jones.  Second, in the following scene, Cliff asked Julie if she were back with J.R., Dallas's answer to Michael Corleone.

- Bobby must keep a suit in his office for those unexpected dinner invitations.  He was already at the office when Pam received the call from Cliff inviting them to dinner.   When he and Ray were in their meeting Bobby was wearing a pair of camel colored pants with a baby blue shirt with a pocket.  When he and Pam arrived home from dinner he was wearing the tan three piece suit with a white shirt and a tie.  However, Pam and Ray were still dressed in the same clothes.

- It was very convenient that Pam's suitcase around the corner in easy reach.  I have to dig mine out of the closet.

- Harry called J.R. Mr. Ewing.  This isn't normally the way he addresses J.R.  I guess he hasn't paid for his first house in cash yet.  BTW, his partner was none other than Mr. Angelino, Jack's boss on "Three's Company".

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed both, especially Mr. Angelino, who I really liked. "TRIPPER!"

- The police managed to get the tape from Cliff's answering machine very quickly.   Did they even BOTHER to get a search warrant?  If not, Cliff, being an attorney, should complain that his rights have been violated.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm assuming McSween knows what he's doing.

- Julie's death made the front page of the morning paper? She's must be as well known as the Ewings!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent point. In the seventies, before society as a whole was desensitized to violent crime, this might not be so egregious.

- The producer's must have gotten a great deal on the luggage for this episode.  Pam and Julie have the EXACT same suitcases....just different colors. Julie's is brown and Pam's is gray.

- When Cliff's elevator arrived at Julie's floor there was no ding, or a directional light.

- Pam mentioned to Cliff during their jail time chat that Digger was on a job in California.  Then Cliff said that it's lucky that Digger doesn't listen to the news either!  Huh??  I hardly think that Julie's death and Cliff's arrest would be big news in California!!

HNP Ahmer Responds: You know how Ewing news travels fast. I'm sure there are murmurs in the Ukraine by now.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Why is Bobby running around the office with his shirt unbuttoned almost down to his navel?

- Inside joke: Charlie Waters is also the name of a Dallas Cowboy All-Pro defensive back who was playing at the time this episode was filmed.

- Where are JR and Julie when JR's man at Cliff's office calls him? It's not the Ewing offices and it's not Southfork. I also don't think it's Julie's apartment - it looks very different and Julie doesn't have a fireplace. How would this guy know the number and that JR was there at the time?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think it's probably a hideaway JR has. He probably left a number at the office for urgent stuff.

- Is this the one and only time Ray loses a bar brawl? He's lucky he even got that one punch in because he telegraphed it and took way too long to get it off. Ray also gets the understatement of the episode award telling Bobby "I'm just a little bruised." Right and Bill Gates is "just a little rich".

HNP Ahmer Responds: I believe this is the only time he loses.

- What was with the long disgusted look the lady on the elevator gave Cliff as they both got off on Julie's floor? Did he forget to bathe? Reek of Chinese take-out? Indecently proposition her?

HNP Ahmer Responds: No idea.

Episode 23: The Red File, Part 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award:

None yet.

Pam Award:

I'd put Pam's look at the courthouse just ahead of Sue Ellen's pajamas.

Angelica Award:

JR's Aussie hunter again.

Bobby Award:

Nothing terrible.

April Award:

Julie for pawning the briefcase, since the pawnbroker COULD have sold it.

- At the very beginning of this episode, Ellie comes in to Bobby's room. Notice that she almost immediately starts making the bed. Excuse me? These people are rich. They have maids and servants to do these sorts of things. Even if you protest that Ellie wasn't always rich, or maybe she's just a neat freak, you must admit that she's been rich for a long time. It just seems totally out of character for a Ewing to perform menial labor like this, seemingly out of habit. [Then again, Raoul and Teresa have been neglecting their duties a lot recently - look at how often the Ewings have to answer the phone themselves!]

- Yet again, yet again. Not once, not twice, but three times. He did it again. You know what I'm talking about. Bobby must have an 'in' with the parking meter fairy, because he seems to able to place his car wherever the heck he wants and get away with it! This is unbelievable!

  1. First, we see him get into his car which is parked right smack dab outside the door of the courthouse. Have you ever tried to park near the door of a courthouse or any other government building in the middle of the day? Good luck finding a spot that isn't reserved for the judges or the handicapped.
  2. When Bobby stops at the pawnbroker, he parks his car right in front of a 'No Parking' sign. I've watched the really is a 'No Parking, anytime' sign!
  3. When Bobby arrives at the airport, he once again parks right in front of the door of the airport terminal. Let me repeat that. In FRONT of the MAIN DOOR of the DEPARTURE TERMINAL at Dallas-Fort Worth International AIRPORT. Come on. This is totally, utterly, egregious.

- It was pointed out to me that Jeb's secretary, in dialing the airport, pushed eight buttons. I explained this away by saying that she may have had to dial '9' to get an outside line. Then I thought about it, and remembered that there probably aren't that many people in the office to would require such a phone service.

- Since this episode focuses so much on Bobby, I'd just like to make a note of the fact that he interestingly plays both the gimp and the anti-gimp today. He's exceedingly gimpy in complaining to Ellie about the way the Ewings do things, and Ellie properly lays the smackdown on him. But I was happy to see that he gave Pam the straight goods about not being wishy-washy. Too bad she can't take a hint. I was glad to see that Bobby ignored Pam's request to "be there" when she testified. Otherwise, I'd consider that boy whipped.

- Bobby walks right into the phone room at the jail to talk to Cliff before his lawyer is finished talking to him. He really should have to wait until the lawyer's done...but of course, he's Bobby Ewing, pal.

- Hey, did you recognize the judge? It's Control, from Season 13! And he's responsible for a nit, too. He tells Pam that she "may be excused" when her testimony is finished. Uh, not quite. She can "be excused" or she "may leave". But it doesn't make sense that she "may be excused". Pick, pick, pick...

- Cliff's lawyer isn't too bad, but he's also not too bright. Since he's operating on the premise that someone other than Cliff killed Julie [we hope], then why in the world does he not ask Mr. Angelino whether he found anybody ELSE's fingerprints in Julie's room? Seems rather obvious.

- Yesterday, Jason pointed out that it was kind of silly for Julie to send Cliff the key and pawn ticket before she got her payoff. Quite true, but I'd say it's even DUMBER for Julie to pawn the briefcase, despite the fact that she kept the key. The pawnbroker MIGHT have sold it somehow, and then where would she be?

ANH Jason's corner:

- The pawn broker was complaining that Julie sold him an attaché case with no key. My question-  why would he buy a locked case with no key?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know much about the pawnbroker game but my understanding is that they'll buy ANYTHING. He probably gave her the ten bucks and Julie left before he realized what he's holding. His real complaint is that he can't sell it if Julie doesn't come back to claim it within a certain amount of time.

- On the stand, JR says something to the effect that Julie blackmailed him.  Actually she didn't but this being JR, I can only assume that he is lying to get Cliff in deeper doo-doo.

HNP Ahmer Responds: A lot of what he said is questionable.

- JR also says that Julie left Ewing Oil the previous June or July. The Mini-series, which includes the episode where she left, was probably filmed in Dec 77 - Feb 78 and was obviously cold out.  In the episode where Julie resigns, she and Pam wear thick coats.  Thick coats in Dallas in July? I don't think so!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Agreed. But why is it that JR can't remember June or July? It should be one or the other.

- Julie's "xerox"-ed papers sure don't look xeroxed.  Especially the wills and deeds.

HNP Ahmer Responds: The will is hard to tell but a lot of those documents look original.

- Why would Alice tell Bobby what flight her bosses are on when she obviously knows that they don't want to talk to him?  And to top it all off, she even helps place the call that gets them detained! I'd fire a secretary that blabbed like that in a heartbeat!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I was seriously wondering whether I missed something during that scene. I watched it twice and I was still confused. I totally don't understand Alice's motives here.

ANH Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter 1:  Pam had it sitting on the table when Cliff was looking through his mail. - Garnet, Miss Ellie, or Pam, or whoever buys the sheets at Southfork must have gone to the same white sale.  Pam and Bobby had EXACTLY the same sheets as Garnet did.   Also, Sue Ellen and J.R. were using the same sheets that Pam and Bobby had the other day.  The latter can explained away, I guess, since they all live in the same house.  But I would still think each couple would have their own sheets.  YUCK!!

- Pam left Southfork in a huff and hasn't been back since and I doubt Bobby brought her any clothes.  She seemed to have quite an extensive wardrobe including boots, jackets, that ugly coat and other things like accessories, makeup and hot rollers.  I can't believe she got all of that in to the one suitcase she took when she left Southfork.   She's either a hell of a packer or she's done some serious shopping....though, when would she have had the time?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably really getting some mileage out of her employee discount at The Store.

- Jock asked Ellie if Bobby were going to stay locked up in his room all day.   When Bobby and J.R. were talking at the bottom of the stairs, I could swear the clock said 7:40, (both hands looked like they were on the 8 but I could be wrong it was hard to read it) or 8:05 or something like that.  This is hardly late in the morning.   He made it sound like it was noon!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps Bobby's an early riser. This is a weird one.

- I can't imagine that the clerk at the police station or wherever Cliff, Bobby, Pam and the lawyer had their meeting would just give Bobby the keys to Cliff's apartment that easily.  He must have said "Look pal, I'm Bobby Ewing" that'd do the trick.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure he did. Or maybe the guard had to check with Cliff first...a headshaker.

- Why was Lucy at the trial and not in school?  A field trip for her "government class"?

HNP Ahmer Responds: It COULD be summer vacation. Hard to say.

- Why would Bobby open the brief on the trunk of his car in the middle of the street?   I'd at least get in to my car before opening it.

- I have a complaint to make about Bobby and Pam's separation.  For one thing, I think Pam is acting like a real bitch here.  She claims to LOVE Bobby so much, yet she can just walk out on him and then she's not even willing to reconcile with him AFTER he got Cliff off the hook.  OK, OK, I see her point, she can't go back to Southfork, I sympathize with her on that. But, it's certainly NOT Bobby's fault.  If she loves him so much, why doesn't she suggest that he move out of Southfork.  On this subject, Bobby should also respect his wife's feelings on this whole matter and should be able to understand why she doesn't want to come back to Southfork.  If HE really loves her, maybe he needs to stop being such a gimp and be MAN enough to pack up his stuff and move out.  The man is rich, no, the man is FILTHY RICH, it's certainly not like he'd have any problem buying a place for the two of them.  I realize they all live together because it's convenient to the plot and it makes things more dramatic.  But in the real world, even in wealthy families, children and their spouses don't live their entire lives under their parent's roof, at least their parents hope they don't.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I totally agree on all counts. I just wish Pam would be a little bit more reasonable but I certainly think she should have asked Bobby to come with her to prove a point.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Bobby seems to have a different hairstyle in parts of this episode and he spends most of it with practically all his shirt buttons undone.

- Question: what did the actor who played Control do for all those years between playing the judge in season one and when he played Control? Answer: He ate a lot. He's much thinner here.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Twelve years will do that to you.

- Ah, now we know why the elevator lady was so prominent in the previous episode. She is used as a witness to place Cliff in Julie's building. Of course we still don't know why she was so disgusted with Cliff when the elevator door opened.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Not yet. Maybe he did proposition her and she just doesn't want to talk about it.

- Bobby makes an illegal U-turn as he pulls out of the Ewing reserved spot in front of the courtroom.

- If the Ewings are so damn rich and own their own building, how come they don't have smoke alarms or a sprinkler system? If I burned trash in my office, I'd set off audio alarms and be drenched in mere seconds.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't think this was so in vogue in the seventies.

Episode 24: Sue Ellen's Sister

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

> Kristin tells Bobby that "she saw him drive up". Zuh? Outside, she said hello to him too as he walked into the house

Pam Award:

I'd have to say that Kristin's wardrobe in the first half of the episode outshines Pam in her purple dress.

Angelica Award:

Bobby's black and white spotted tie. An eyesore.

Bobby Award:

Nothing terrible. Bobby by default, I guess.

April Award:

Pam for thinking Cliff wouldn't use her against the Ewings.

- When Sue Ellen is talking to Cliff on the phone, she's doing that annoying "talking through her chin" thing.

- At the dinner table, JR uses his left hand to eat. That's very odd. Perhaps the camera image was reversed.

- This Southfork is obviously a set. You can tell by the curved sides of the pool.

- It's interesting how the Ewings' offer to Kessel changes. At the beginning of the episode, Kessel tells Cliff he's being offered $10,000 plus 15% royalties. Soon after that, at the dinner table, JR tells Jock that he's offered Kessel 25% royalties. At the time, I believed that this was the result of Cliff convincing Kessel to raise his price. But then later JR says that the offer was 15% and complains that Kessel is trying to hold out for 25%. Then Bobby visits Kessel and offers him 21%. This is all very confusing.

- More evidence that these episodes are not being aired in sequence of filming: Sue Ellen DEFINITELY does not look pregnant in this episode.

ANH Jason's corner:

- When Kristin puts on her yellow robe at the pool, her hair is inside. As the camera switches angles during her talk (with JR, I think), the hair mysteriously is outside the robe. - Kristin's hair seems to change color during the episode.   When we last saw her in #20, she had dark brown hair.  In the first scene, she has lighter blond hair.   At various times during this episode, it seems to go from light brown with blond high-lights to dirt blonde.  Perhaps it's the way the sun hits it, but it looks like different shades.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think the lights are playing tricks. I noticed that too.

- Kristin wants to play tennis with Bobby but when they leave to do this, she is dressed in what looks like boots and a loose skirt and blouse.  Not exactly sports activewear.

ANH Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter 5:  Pam when she met Bobby the first time.  Pam when Cliff gave her her coat and purse. Pam again when Bobby caught her on the street.   Pam yet again when she went to Cliff's office.  Finally, Pam AGAIN in her final meeting with Bobby in the last scene.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, it's only one purse.

- There was definitely something strange in the wardrobe department today and major discrepancies with the weather.  Kristen and Lucy were swimming and sunbathing, yet Pam walked around with a full length fur the entire episode.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Some women would do this, but I don't see Pam as being one of them.

- Pam sure must be missing Bobby.  She managed to get a brand new hairdo AND buy that fur coat.  She must have gotten her employee discount on it.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure she did.

- Bobby was wearing the same tan pants, white jacket and baby blue shirt in the first scene (with the backgammon game) and then again later when he Jock and J.R. talked over cocktails.  Doesn't he have anything else in his closet?

- Where was Kristen sitting at the dinner table? There was a window behind her, kind of off to the side. The only one who ever has a window behind her is Miss Ellie.  This was kind of strange.  Could she have been sitting at the corner of the table between J.R. and Ellie?  Even if she wasn't allowed to sit in Pam's chair, there was one next to Pam's across from Lucy. Why idn't she just sit there?

HNP Ahmer Responds: She was definitely sitting on that side. I'm sure there is a window there but the curtains are usually drawn.

- It seemed Kristen's guest room was almost nicer than that of J.R./Sue Ellen, Bobby/Pam or even Lucy. She had a small sitting area.  I've never noticed anything like this in anyone else's bedrooms.  They just have a chair, nothing separated by a half wall.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite true. At first I almost thought she was in a cot outside, because I couldn't believe this was actually a room.

- When Kristen went to Ewing Oil to find a ride home, she walked in and when she greeted J.R. she put her hand out for him to take. This was kind of strange.  I don't greet members of my family this way, especially my brothers-in-law.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah, yes. But let me point out that since you're not in a soap opera, you probably don't have the hots for your brothers-in-law.

- Kristen got all spiffed up to run downstairs to try to seduce Bobby, understood. Nothing happened, yet when she was talking to Sue Ellen in her bedroom after the fact, her hair was a mess like SOMETHING had happened.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Would you characterize it as a mess? I'm not sure...

- Lucy said she heard every word of Bobby and Kristen's conversation.  I find it a little hard to believe that Lucy could hear every word from the staircase.  She must have the ears of a cat.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Or she was probably closer to the study than we saw.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Nice image - a pregnant Sue Ellen in bed having a bourbon and branch or scotch and water right before turning in for the night. Worse yet, the father doesn't seem at all concerned.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm seriously hoping it's diet Coke. But I'm sure you're right.

- With Kristin and Lucy running around in bathing suits and tight tops and plenty of Pam on display, this episode started to look like "Baywatch" or a Hooters commercial.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I can still remember those commercials. Here in Toronto, two Hooters restaurants opened and all of the commercials proudly proclaimed that "Toronto has a pair of Hooters."

- My God, there's a Ewing secretary who actually types, and fast too! How did they ever let that one go for slackers like Sly, Phyllis and Kendall? I'll  bet she doesn't even take four hour lunches to go shopping.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Was this Connie or Louella? I'm thinking Connie, who rocks. All she needs to do, as I think I said before, is get the hair out of her eyes and start wearing those tight blouses.

- JR's safari jackets and kerchiefs must have been out at the cleaners, as he sports a blue double breasted blazer during casual time at SF. And what about an Angelica vote on his blue and white polka dot pajamas? No wonder Sue Ellen needs a good stiff drink before going to bed with him!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't really get a good look at the pajamas.

- When Lucy is at the pool with her radio, that is some lame music. Sounds like the soundtrack for some cheap Shaft ripoff movie.

- That Kessel is some rube. He didn't notice that immediately after he signed the contract, Bobby handed him his copy from somewhere else, not from under the document he signed. He walks away with a document that doesn't have his signature on it.

Episode 25: Callgirl

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

> Bobby to Pam: "I married a fighter." I'm still trying to figure out who he means. See below.

Pam Award:

Leanne deserves consideration, but Pam in the final scenes wins yet again. [This is no contest when Vicki's wearing a tight sweater.]

Angelica Award:

Pam's short fur coat, for lack of anything else. Leanne's gaudy wallpaper deserves mention.

Bobby Award:

Ray should really invest in a comb.

April Award:

None yet.

- When Bobby is called to the phone by the racquet club employee, she calls for "Mr. Ewing". But there are two Mr. Ewings in the room - how does Bobby know which one she means?

- I'm not too sure what exactly Ray told Bobby about the cattle rustling that could not have been said over the phone. I was really expecting some plot trickery to result from this, but it didn't. It would have made more sense if Bobby had been distracted away from the racquet club so as to miss meeting Pam or something like that.

- And I would be remiss if I didn't point out the lameness of having the Racquet Club be the latest hot spot for having lunch. Yeah, I'm sure its tuna sandwiches are way better than anything at Scalini's or the Oil Baron's.

- I'm not too sure why JR calls Matt Henderson to bring Leanne in, rather than Harry McSween. Clearly Matt knows Leanne...but the producers could just as easily have decreed that McSween knows Leanne. I guess James L. Brown was just unavailable. And yes, Matt Henderson is the same guy who played Wally Hampton and Duke Carlisle in later seasons. I believe he's the only actor to play three different named characters, but I could be wrong.

- When JR first appears in Leanne's apartment, Pam calls and Leanne tells her to come over in fifteen minutes. JR and Leanne talk for a while, then JR leaves and sits in his car. Almost immediately, Pam arrives. That was a quick fifteen minutes - unless for some reason it took JR ten minutes to come down the elevator.

- During the barfight, there's lots of bad continuity during cuts. Many of the cuts take place mid-punch and look rather bad.

- I think Leanne has the empty purse today. It's most evident when she returns home to find JR waiting for her.

- Not a nit, just a note: was anyone else silently wishing that Jock HAD gone to that bar with Bobby and Ray, like he said? Man, that would have been the mother of all smackdowns.

- Some more blatant plot maneuvering: is there any need for Kit to actually come to Southfork to meet Bobby so they can pick up Ray and go to the Sheriff's office? Seems like the more expedient thing to do would be to have Kit meet the two of them there...but then of course, he couldn't get spotted by Lucy. Not trickery, just maneuvering.

- Hmm. Ben Maxwell tells JR he doesn't drink. But then suddenly he meets dolled-up Leanne and suddenly he doesn't mind.

- Something Bobby says confuses the heck out of me. He tells Pamela that he married "a fighter". Now, I'm thinking, Bobby must have been married at least one before, because he sure as heck isn't married to a fighter right now. I can think of a lot of adjectives to call Pamela, but a "fighter" is definitely NOT one of them. Everything Pamela does seems to revolve around AVOIDING conflict and unpleasantness wherever possible, rather than dealing with it.

- When Bobby meets Pam as she is about to leave Dallas, Pam doesn't ask him about the huge welt he has above his left eye! You'd think she'd say something.

- Lucy's voice is clearly dubbed when she tells Bobby that Kit called late in the episode.

ANH Mike's corner:

- My wife points out that the show seems to be using just about any excuse to get Bobby's shirt off or in the skimpiest clothes possible. They found a new one here in tight racket ball shorts and a tank top. I, obviously, haven't been noticing. Too many other female distractions.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Agreed. But I'm glad they're keeping the ladies interested.

- If Cliff really wants to get back at JR, it would simply be a lot easier to take up racquetball. Clearly, JR is everybody's chump at this game.

- JR's safari jacket and kerchief have been retrieved from the dry cleaners for this episode. - Wasn't this our first look at Andy Bradley? He's actually played by the right actor and they even gave him a line of dialogue. As the show goes on, he literally becomes the SILENT partner in the cartel.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes he does. Seen here with Wade Luce and Seth Stone in a VERY rare picture. Had Jordan Lee been here, this would have been a collectible.

- What was up with that full-sized lion sculpture in Lee Ann's living room? I guess just because you're a model doesn't mean you have good taste.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That was really weird. I expected it to jump out at any moment and maul Pam.

- There's a reason Ben Maxwell is happily married - he can't seem to stay awake at night. He was yawning in the car, upstairs in the apartment, and probably while he was kissing Lee Ann. It almost seemed like he was forcing himself into sex because he felt obligated to his gender and because she seemed to want it so bad. Tough duty.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought so too except he voluntarily seemed to take off his coat when she appeared in that slinky nightie. I guess some of the testosterone is still circulating.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I have trouble believing the Dallas paper would print that picture.  It just seemed too "tabloid" for a major paper.

- Plot says JR needs to be surprised to see Pam at Southfork, but logic says she would have driven her own car back to the ranch.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess she'll pick it up tomorrow or wouldn't be really romantic for Bobby and Pam to drive home separately. Your point is quite correct, though.

- Since Heidi Hagman is in the credits, do we know who she was?  A model, the girl at the racquet club, or the little girl in the picture?

HNP Ahmer Responds: The girl at the club. I'm 99% certain.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Ben doesn't seem to wear eye protection when he plays racquetball with JR.

- Am I the only one that thought the whole set-up angle was lame? Even the "shocking photos"  looked stupidly staged.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, since you thought the idea was lame, I'm not really surprised...I'll agree that the staging was a bit over-the-top. But remember that this was 20 years ago. Certainly by today's standards this sort of picture would be rather tame.

- Not a nit, but something that would have made my day. Sue Ellen (who was looking pretty drunk) gives Pam grief about showing her face at SF. I think it would have been hilarious when she storms off if she accidentally bumps into the door when she heads back inside.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I agree. Something like that would have been a nice touch.

ANH Pam's corner:

- Leanne also had an empty camel colored purse at the Racquet Club when she met Maxwell.

- Leanne said that she and Pam had been getting along very well the past couple of weeks. Then at the end of the episode she told Pam that she couldn't hurt her anymore because she (Pam) was her BEST FRIEND?? Obviously this girl has NO friends....come to think of it, neither does Pam, at least none we've seen anyway.....besides the trailertrash that is. - Leanne really never changed from her former lifestyle.  All J.R. had to to was mention enough money to raise her daughter and Leanne was willing to sell out her new 'best friend'.  Granted, most of us would do just about ANYTHING to ensure a good life for our child. She didn't even ASK J.R. how much was going to be in the envelope.   She probably knew that J.R. would pay her very well for her 'services'.  Even still, I think I would want to negotiate price up front.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I wasn't quite sure what to make of first, I thought Leanne was kind of playing JR along and not really willing to go "all the way" for him. This was really weird.

- Leanne's apartment seemed a little strange.  She told Maxwell to get comfortable and that she'd be right back.  It looked like she was going to enter a hallway, this would make sense in a two bedroom apartment.  Then when she opened Pam's bedroom door it seemed like there was no hallway, that her doorway led right in to the living room.

- Pam got out of her car with one suitcase when she moved in to Leanne's and then again when she walked out of Leanne's place when she was planning to leave Dallas. Where was the full length black fur?  For that matter, where was the short fur packed in the first place?  I hardly think the rest of her clothes would fit in one suitcase, let alone these coats. - Pam and Bobby's scene at the end was obviously not done in one take.  When we first saw Pam in her short fur coat, all of the buttons were buttoned. Throughout the scene, during all of the close ups, the top button was still buttoned.  Then there was a long shot and she was still facing Bobby, her arms have never moved.  When she turned away from him, same take, and he told her she didn't know why the picture was taken, her top button was undone.  Ahhh....the mysteries of retakes!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Can't believe I missed it.

- When Bobby saw the picture and went looking for Pam it was breakfast time.  When Bobby and Pam arrived back at Southfork it was dinner time.  Where were they all this time?  Did they decide to 'use' Leanne's apartment since I'm sure the rent was already paid?

HNP Ahmer Responds: YOU GO BOY! I certainly hope so! Bobby has a lot of lost time to make up for and Pam looks SO SWEET in that sweater that I would be unable to resist.

- The fact that Pam and Bobby didn't drive back to Southfork in the same car was strange enough, but this was even stranger. Pam wasn't wearing her short fur jacket anymore. It could've been in the back seat, or in the trunk I suppose.  But she was wearing it when she walked out of Leanne's apartment.  If it was cold enough to wear it walking around, I would think it would definitely be cold enough to wear it in a convertible with the top down on an expressway!  Also, where was Pam's purse when she got out of the car?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed the fur coat not being there, but I figured she just left it in the car. Worth pointing out.

Episode 26: Royal Marriage

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Kit: "Looks like an invitation to a Ewing party."

HNP Ahmer Responds: Gee, he takes it out of the envelope, reads it, and then makes this astute observation.)

Pam Award:

Ellie's half decent dress at the party.

Angelica Award:

Lucy's sequin top and gold satin pants

Bobby Award:


April Award:

Nothing egregious. JR figuring he could actually strong-arm Kit was kind of dumb.

- Maybe my eyes deceive me, but in the discotheque at the very beginning of this episode, Lucy's dress looks to be a golden color. Suddenly, in Kit's apartment, it's blue, and when they return to Southfork it's purple. Must be very psychedelic lighting.

- I found it interesting that JR took Sue Ellen's drink away from her at dinner. I guess he doesn't mind her poisoning her fetus, as long as she doesn't embarrass him in public.

- Ah, me. Another episode filmed entirely in the set of Lorimar. It's most obvious during the breakfast table scenes.

- Has that antique-looking phone always been in JR's office? I've never noticed it before.

- A real world note: during the second discotheque scene, it sounded like they were playing "The Hustle". Or at least some remix of it.

- I don't really want to open up a can of worms here about Kit's sexual orientation...but shouldn't he really call himself bisexual, rather than homosexual? I would think so. Or were you not allowed to use the word bisexual in 1979?

Daryle gives me the mild smackdown: 

I don't believe you can make the assessment that he is "bisexual".  For one thing, I'm not sure that bisexual was a very common term back in the seventies. But, even by today's standards, Kit is not necessarily bisexual. If he were, then he would have no trouble with getting married to Lucy. We already know that he loved her; so his only problem with marrying her was of a sexual nature. You base your assessment of Kit's sexual orientation on the fact he was able to "convince" Lucy that he was heterosexual, and that he made love to her. Once again, I fall back to my earlier point that he loved her, and apparently was capable of getting "turned on" to a certain extent.  But obviously, it wasn't good enough for him.  I have a friend who is currently a homosexual and dated girls in college.  I know for a fact that he even had sex with some of them!  But if I were to ask him now if he were "bisexual", he would say no.  Why?  Simply because he is not interested in dating women. He is only interested in dating men. I believe that is how Kit feels.

- It's a good thing Ellie didn't visit Kit's apartment, because the first thing she would have done is hire Jésus on the spot! This guy would be a perfect addition to the already incompetent Raoul. First of all, while Kit is on the phone with Lucy, he continues to vacuum the same spot over and over despite the fact that he can see that his boss is trying to make himself heard over the din. [Why doesn't Kit tell him to knock it off?] And then it's really convenient that Jésus doesn't answer the door when JR or Lucy arrives so that Kit can have very private conversations with both of them. He must have read the script.

ANH Val's corner:

- There is a scene in which Lucy and Kit were talking in his apartment.  She made the comment that "I'm almost 19 (years old)."  It was as if she had a birthday coming up in a few weeks, or something.  Obviously, this can't be possible because she just had a birthday approximately 4 months ago (Dallas time)--and that's a conservative estimate.

ANH Kyle's corner:

- Was there some sort of taboo against using the word "gay" in 1979? It sure seems like it. Kit is always referred to as a "homosexual". A little strange.

- I'm not really sure if I understand why Kit had to propose to Lucy. He says that he wanted to see if sleeping with a woman would change anything, but Lucy was clearly willing to do that BEFORE they were engaged. So why go so far out on a limb when you don't need to? Maybe he just got swept up in the emotion of it all.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I imagine you're right. Not having any first hand experience in this kind of thing, I'll have to beg off.

ANH Alett's corner:

- The Ewing invitation is a "Gala Celebration"........ of what?  It's really just a dressy get-together out by the pool. I guess the guests have to have ESP too because there's no date or time on the invitation.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent points. That totally whizzed by me.

- True to form, Lucy never takes books to school even though she's been doing all this recent studying.  Also why would they really let her do all this disco action on school nights?

- I was surprised Jock would discuss Ewing business in front of Marilee Stone and that other woman. (which wife is she?)  They're tight with Seth Stone and all, but I always pictured them as the Corleone's of Dallas.  Never discuss business outside the family.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I have no idea who that other woman was. This is an interesting take on it.

- That hideous metal butterfly over Kit's fireplace looks like the same one from Julie's kitchen.  I guess now that Kit is out of the closet, his taste in decorating will improve.

ANH Sara's corner:

- During her scene with Kit, Lucy's coffee cup was obviously empty.

- That was kind of creepy how Jesus walked into the room while Kit and Lucy were kissing and stood around watching.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Jesus needs to know his role. I noticed this...AND the fact that he displayed lots of incompetence later in the episode.

- Lucy apparently doesn't have a bedroom to cry in.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's all the way in the "other wing". Except a few weeks ago when it was just upstairs. I don't get it.

ANH Rob's corner:

- Kit Mainwaring's father walks into to his office and presents him with an invitation to the Ewing party that he'd gotten.  After some small talk, he leaves, saying "your mom and I plan to attend that party." There's just one thing: he forgot to take the invitation with him!  Was he planning for Kit to mail the response card for him?

- Hey, hold on a minute!  It had been said that Lucy was about to graduate from high school. So how the hell is she able to gain admission to a disco

- TWICE?!  Did she channel her uncle's spirit and tell the door man "look pal, I'm Lucy Freakin' Ewing!"?

AHN Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter 2:  It's the same scene, Lucy and Pam both had an empty purse when they were getting in to Pam's car.  Lucy carried the same purse later when she came home from Kit's in the last scene.

- Did anyone notice the black horse that was on the wall, above the green chairs,   behind J.R. at Southfork during the party?  Has this always been there?   It looked like a cheap party decoration.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I actually didn't notice.

- When J.R. said 'hi' to 'Bill', whoever that was, at the party, he didn't look like he was talking to anyone.  I guess they really didn't want to pay an another extra for this scene.

HNP Ahmer Responds: You got it.

- The scene in Bobby's office where Kit confessed that he was a homosexual must have been done in more than one take.  In the beginning of the scene Bobby's hair was parted down the middle and and combed off to each side.  Then after he turned back around after facing his desk, it's all combed sort of across his forehead.

- It's a little hard to believe that rich girl Lucy who's almost 19 doesn't have a car of her own, but is engaged to be married.  Not only that, where's the ring??

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess Kit wasn't really THAT committed.

- Lucy said that she wrote Val and Gary that she was engaged.  First, how does she know where Gary is? I didn't think she had spoken to him since he left Southfork.   Second, if she does know where he and Val are, I would also assume she would have a phone number. So, why didn't she call rather than write?  I would think this would be the type of news she would want to tell them.  Ellie also mentioned that she would write Val....and Gary so that there would be no misunderstandings.  Again, why doesn't she call??

HNP Ahmer Responds: I must have missed something here...did Lucy say she wrote them? Totally missed that.

- Why was the picture in the paper only of Lucy? Usually the engagement picture is of the happy couple, not just the bride.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps Kit's picture was not available. That IS odd.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Somehow the idea that a young guy would be living alone with his butler just seems weird to me. Kind of makes you wonder what Kit, Jesus and the vacuum cleaner are up to when they're alone.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't want to go there.

- In one scene, Kit must have dipped into the Bobby Ewing collection of shirts with no buttons, as he was exposed almost to the waist.

- Lucy definitely had the empty purse in breakfast scene.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't see her with a purse. Good catch.

- Continuity glitch: In the scene where Kit goes to Bobby's office, this must have more the second take or later because the imprint of Kit's back is still in Bobby's leather chair.

- Continuity glitch #2: Kit and Lucy are dancing, they cut to some of the Ewings watching them and commenting and then the next cut is to Lucy standing talking to Ray.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not sure whether this is discontinuity or just brutal cuts.

- Boy those Ewings spare no expense when it comes to those "social obligations" JR mentions: paper streamer party decorations.

- You expect that your architect and contruction company are going to be on the cutting edge of technology and design. Bobby fails that test with a rotary phone on his office desk.

HNP Ahmer Responds: JR had that horrid antique-looking one. I don't get it.

Episode 27: The Outsiders

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Donna: "Somebody is going to get hurt - namely Sam, Ray, and me."

HNP Ahmer Responds: (NAMELY those three?  They are the ONLY three that will be hurt.)

Pam Award:

Pam's tennis outfit.

Angelica Award:

Ray's ridiculous coat which Charlton Heston must have rejected for "The Ten Commandments".

Bobby Award:

Pam's hair during the dinner party was awful.

April Award:

Ray for falling head over heels for a woman and even sleeping with her without asking her last name. Since it seems so popular amongst the AHNs, I'll have to mention the whole family who watched Sue Ellen stagger around all episode and didn't try to stop her from drinking.

- In the opening scene, JR calls Ellie "mother" again.

- Southfork is definitely a set again.

- When Jock and JR talk to Bud Morgan, Jock is very clearly dubbed when the sound track says "how they heck did they do that"? I'm sure Jim Davis said something a little bit more colorful, but I can't really read his lips.

- Here's another "subtle as a sledgehammer" moment: when Donna walks into the restaurant to meet Sam, Jock, and JR, the waiter who's leading her is trying his darndest to keep his head between hers and the camera, to keep up the suspense of "who is it?"

- It sure took Bobby and Pam a LONG time to get to their car when they're heading off to play tennis. That's very convenient because it allows him to be in the driveway when Ray pulls up.

- During the dinner party, Jock pours Ellie a drink, then Sam a drink, then himself a drink...shouldn't Ellie slap his wrist and say, "Now, know what the doctor said." Is Jock off alcohol probation, or did Ellie just let this slide?

ANH Jason's corner:

- Donna and Ray order a round of drinks and they never touch them. - When Donna and Bobby meet for lunch, they have a long conversation but no waiter ever comes to the table.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Oh yeah! Read the script, he did.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Those establishing shots of the ranch give the horses a workout.  OK herd them to the right, now herd them to the left.  It's dizzying.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think they probably just reverse the negative or something.

- What was with Donna keeping time to the music hitting the backs of her wrists together?   It looked like she had a physical handicap.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Wow! Presaging the Dream Season, perhaps?

- Sometimes it seems Donna is wearing what could be a wedding ring and sometimes she's not, so I guess it's possible Ray might not know she's married, but how could they sit and talk until they're practically the only ones left and he still hasn't asked her her name?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. This is why Ray gets the April award. Okay, I can understand him not knowing that she's married. But I honestly cannot fathom how you could fall in love with and/or have non-drunken sex with someone whose last name you didn't know.

- I guess it's possible JR lucked out and could follow Ray as he left the ranch, but it certainly was easy for him to find him at the motel.  If I were having a clandestine meeting at a cheap motel, I certainly wouldn't leave the drapes open.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Were the drapes open? It looks to me like Ray was just silhouetted.

- Poor Lucy.  Nobody notices that after she drives off in her new car she's never seen again.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Guess she forgot to steal JR's gas card and is stranded somewhere.

ANH Sara's corner:

- I liked JR's Japanese bathrobe, although it was kind of weird for someone who hates foreign people and can't even bring himself to pronounce ethnic groups' name correctly to be wearing. - Jock and Ellie turned towards Bobby before he started talking to them

- Does the DOA really need to put that big "Daughters of the Alamo" sign up at a meeting that only the Daughters of the Alamo (and that guest speaker) are attending?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I found that to be a little bit cheesy too. The only thing I can think of is that there might have been someone taking pictures or something like that.

- So Ray considers himself to be a "nice young stud."  Ray, just because you had two shirtless scenes today does NOT make you a stud.  Don't flatter yourself.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I kind of miss the way Val would always e-mail me saying "AH! RAY SHIRTLESS! I'M BLIND!"

ANH Mike's corner:

- Youda thunk Ray would be smart enough by now not to talk about or introduce his women friends to anybody in the Ewing family (case in point: Garnet McGee) but he ahead inviting Bobby and Pam to meet Donna.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think what you mean is that he should be smart enough to keep this information from JR. But this episode shows that what Pam knows, JR will soon find out.

- In fine Dallas fashion, Lucy flees the breakfast table leaving a full glass of milk and a lot of food on her plate. Then again, maybe she took a look in the mirror at how she looked in those skin tight pants in the last episode.

- It's subtle, but Donna is actually more brunette than blonde in this episode. I guess she gets progressively lighter as the show goes on. Ya gotta admire Donna's ability to drink. One night she's belting down shots, the next night it's white wine.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I like her long hair. It is darker than in the later seasons. I believe that when she returns next season it's pretty much the same.

- Had to laugh at Sam Culver's choice of words. What was that he said about waiting for something "to blow me". Oh yeah, right, THAT's why he married a much younger woman.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I missed that.

- Is it just my imagination or is Donna actually saying "Ray" instead of "Rye"?

HNP Ahmer Responds: YES! Shocking.

- Dumb dialogue: Ray gets out of bed with Donna and suggests they go away and have "some fun". Like what you were just doing isn't FUN, you dumb cowboy?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Donna should really think twice about this.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter 3:  Lucy had one in the cheesy car scene.  Actually, it was a small purse that attached to her belt, but it was definitely empty. Donna also carried an empty black purse in her first meeting with Ray.  Then Donna carried the ugly empty brown purse around for the rest of the episode.

- When Lucy opened her present from Bobby, where were all of the rest of the cars parked??   Pam could be gone, even Sue Ellen could be gone (doubtful, she's upstairs chugging Bloody Marys!) but we do know that Jock, J.R. and Bobby were all home, so where were all of their cars?  I suppose Bobby could have moved them, but I doubt it.  I would have thought SOMEBODY would have been parked closer to the house than this.  You don't suppose they used the GARAGE do you??

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point. Perhaps they all moved their cars over to the side...or Bobby did.

- Again, Lucy left for school without BOOKS!!  So much for her improved study habits. - It was very convenient that the music stopped while Ray was having his discussion with Donna's friend about her wanting to stay.  Then it started again when Ray and Donna were introducing themselves. They continued playing the SAME song, not much of a repertoir.  Of course they didn't look like they were really playing their instruments anyway.

- Donna made such a stink about wanting to stay, but as soon as the guy left she picked up her stuff like she was ready to leave, I thought she wanted to stay?  It wasn't until Ray offered to buy her a drink that she decided to stick around awhile.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That was kind of weird. I suspect a cut.

- The cheap black horse party decoration on the wall above the green lawn furniture must be a permanent fixture.  It's visible behind Ellie when she 'casually' got Sue Ellen to resign as president of the DOA.

- Bobby didn't even lock the car doors at the Longhorn.  He was able to open the door for Pam when they left without using his keys.  I guess the Longhorn really IS a respectable place.

- That was a cheap, almost sleazy hotel that Ray and Donna went to.  I've also never been to a hotel that had bold patterned 70's flowered sheets, usually they're plain white.   Also, it's a little strange that Ray would be lying around in his jeans (shirtless, YUCK!) just after he and Donna made love.  I don't think they were leaving, Donna was still wearing his shirt.  Did he have to answer the door for the Domino's Pizza guy or something?

- Nice shot of the ADIDAS logo on Donna's sweatsuit in the mall with J.R.  I noticed it at least three times. - Bobby told Donna on the phone that he'd meet her at 4:00.  4:00?  Why didn't they meet for either lunch or dinner?  If they weren't planning to eat, why get a table?  They could've just as easily met in the bar for a drink.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Did he say 4:00? I totally missed that.

Episode 28: John Ewing III, Part 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

After Pam wonders whether Lucy and Sue Ellen will be okay alone: > BOBBY: "I don't see what else can go wrong."

HNP Ahmer Responds: This borders on total gimpiness.

Pam Award:

Pam gets the default today.

Angelica Award:

Sue Ellen's maternity dresses.

Bobby Award:

The hippie drug dealer. Lucy after temporarily sobering deserves mention.

April Award:

The family for leaving Lucy in charge of the house with Sue Ellen "sleeping" upstairs. Barely beats out Ray leaving Lucy alone so she can sneak back to Ann's party.

Sue Ellen denial meter: 1.

Claims that there's "nothing wrong with her".

- Of all the places in Dallas to shop for jewelry, Lucy goes to the Store, where she knows she's likely to be spotted by Pam? Is this the only place downtown where the Ewings have a charge account?

- Not a nit, just a note. Lucy gets a lot of mileage out of the red blouse she wore when she was kidnapped by Willie Gust. For some reason, she can't wear a bra under this...I don't get it.

- Hey, it's Ken Horton from "thirtysomething"! And he's got a nice no-name cola in his hand.

- Cliff answers his home phone by saying, "Barnes speaking". Do people really do this? I'm afraid to because everyone who calls will think I'm a weirdo.

- As Sue Ellen is driving home, she sees a sign indicating that 'Bradock' is 2 miles away. 'Bradock'? I thought Braddock had two D's. At least is does it every 'official' Dallas book I've ever read. Budget cuts at the Department of Transportation?

- You know, for all Sue Ellen's faults, at least she's courteous. She pulled off onto the shoulder in order to stop her car when she passes out. Pam and Bobby obviously don't feel the need to do this, and block a whole lane of traffic.

- When bringing the half-awake Sue Ellen into Southfork, Pam and Bobby are clearly dubbed.

- This is really brutal. When Ray tries to get drugged-out Lucy back to Southfork without incident, he leaves Lucy alone in the house and goes out to find Bobby. Why the hell doesn't he just phone? Lest you say that maybe Ray doesn't have a phone at his place, remember that in yesterday's episode, Donna Culver called him AT HOME. Lest you say that maybe Ray is afraid that somebody other than Bobby might answer the phone and he'll be forced to explain, what difference does that make? If he goes and rings the doorbell and someone other than Bobby answers, isn't he in the same boat? All he has to do is make up some excuse about having to talk to Bobby urgently. So why doesn't Ray phone? Because if he doesn't, then Lucy can't sneak out of his house and go to Ann's party and get yelled at by Bobby....yada, yada, yada. This is classic plot trickery. As an aside, I can't say that I'm sorry to see it because it's the sign of a well-written drama. Sometimes when the authors concentrate on making the plot interesting, they neglect to see these common-sense things. But that's least it marks a significant change for Dallas: it actually starts to become really good to watch.

- When Ray places the 911 call, he refers to the ranch as "the Southfork" again.

- At the end of this episode, as Sue Ellen is being dragged away by those nice young men in their clean white coats, you can see JR standing beside the car watching her being pulled off. He's also standing beside her suitcase! Why doesn't he ask them to take her suitcase with them?

ANH Jason's corner:

- JR collects several bottles of booze in Sue Ellen's room and smashed them on what I presume is the floor.  Wouldn't dumping them down the drain be a better idea?  I mean, if she is desperate  enough, she could try licking it off the ground.  I know it is gross, but still this seemed stupid to do.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought those bottles were empty.

- Why do the Ewings wait until the morning to get Sue Ellen's car? It would be stolen or get hit by another drunk driver left out on the side of the road like that.  Besides, a fancy Ewing station wagon like that would fetch a pretty penny to car jackers, I bet (snicker). -  So, Jock is going to keep JR from cheating on his wife. This I got to see.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is the kind of thing that makes me not want to target Sue Ellen for "denial". The whole family is in denial, not just her.

- So where did Lucy's drug habit come from?  Maybe this is what was cut out yesterday, since Lucy was AWOL after she got her car.  TNN isn't above cutting out entire subplots, as we know...

ANH Alett's corner:

- I guess everyone at the party is too drunk or stoned to notice there's only a blue screen on the TV set. - Talk about "phoning in" a performance.  That's literally what Ken K. does. It also looks like he's wearing a wedding ring.

- I hope that was a wastebasket JR broke those bottles in.  If not, at least it will give Raoul something to do.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's about time he does SOMETHING.

AHN Sara's corner:

- Linda Grey's stuntperson did a good fall down those stairs.

- Ray tells Bobby that Sue Ellen's doctor says that she will probably be ok, as will the baby.  Then he says that Sue Ellen is on her way to Dallas Memorial in an ambulance.   So did the ambulance just happen to have an obstretician riding along who could make that diagnosis or are the paramedics just really well trained?  In any case, the doctor or whoever shouldn't have said anything to Ray anyway and couldn't have made any kind of guess as to Sue Ellen or the baby's condition by just looking at her.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point.

- J.R. called Jock "Dad."

- Sue Ellen's doctor makes Dr. Danvers look good.  She knows that Sue Ellen has a drinking problem and that Sue Ellen is drunk while she's in her office.  So she tells Sue Ellen that drinking a lot could be dangerous to the baby.  Good.  But then she lets Sue Ellen drive home, knowing that Sue Ellen is drunk!  I know she can't stop Sue Ellen, but she could have tried at least.  After all, isn't driving drunk dangerous to the baby too?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps Sue Ellen is not over the legal limit but this is a great point.

ANH Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter 3:  Lucy carried one, it was very obvious with the drug pusher.   Bobby handed Pam Sue Ellen's empty purse when they got her out of the car. Pam grabbed her own empty purse (but not Sue Ellen's) when she and Bobby arrived at Southfork with Sue Ellen. - Sue Ellen took a nice swig from her flask right before going in to see Dr. Crane.   Great way to try to deny your drinking problem, go in to the Dr.'s office smelling like booze!!  Granted, she usually drinks vodka which for the most part is odorless, but who's to say that's what's in the flask? - Boy how times have changed!  Dr. Crane told Sue Ellen to 'cut down' on her drinking.  Now they would tell a woman NO DRINKING.  Then when she said, "Not even wine with dinner" it sounded like she asked her rather than matter of factly told her.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Times have changed.

- This I just don't get at all.  Pam told Bobby that she didn't feel right about leaving Sue Ellen and Lucy home alone.  Gee Pam, you could TAKE THE DAY OFF....what a NOVEL idea!!!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah, but then we couldn't see...never mind.

- This is a first!!  Jock went to Dr. Danvers' office rather than having him come out to the ranch!!  He must have read the script and known Sue Ellen and Lucy needed to be in the house alone.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Oh, that's priceless! How in the world did I miss that? I tell you, this classic plot trickery can be SO subtle.

-  Jock and Ellie were dressed alike again, black and white.  When they were sitting in the study talking to Bobby they looked like they were in mourning.  In fact, the whole scene looked like a funeral.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought so too! I was going to comment on how sombre the whole episode was but then it brightened up a little.

- I think the Ewings must have gotten a discount on luggage, perhaps Pam's employee discount at The Store. Sue Ellen had the EXACT same suitcase that Pam had a few episodes ago.

- Sue Ellen didn't look very pregnant when Bobby pulled her out of her car or when he carried her in to the house.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She hasn't looked very pregnant at all. Of course, that muumuu isn't very revealing.

- Sue Ellen blamed her high heels for her fall.  Of course, this was an excuse to hide her drinking from Jock and Ellie.  But in all honesty, what was she doing wearing high heels when she was pregnant anyway??  Her ankles would be killing her!!   I've never seen pregnant women, wear high heels.  They have very little support and I can't imagine would be very good for a pregnant woman to be wearing in the first place.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point.

ANH Mike's corner:

- Sue Ellen's doctor had a huge mouth, way out of proportion to the rest of her face. - At least Lucy's dealer has some class, driving a classic Corvette.

- Sue Ellen needs to have that huge diamond ring she wears registered and licensed as a lethal weapon. - When Pam and Bobby return Sue Ellen to SF, they totally box in a car in the driveway with their cars. Later in the evening all the cars have been rearranged when Bobby returns with Lucy. And what was so bad about that party that Bobby has no choice but to report it to Ann's parents? Those kids seemed pretty well behaved to me. It was very quiet, no loud music. They appeared to be drinking only beer and no drugs were in evidence. Big deal so a few kids were making out or slow grind dancing. Pretty typical stuff.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I think the drinking was the worst of it. Remember these kids are Lucy's age - 19 or thereabouts. I think the legal age was 21 back then.

Mike responds: Your take on the party makes Bobby into an even bigger hypocrite. It's OK for underaged Lucy to go discos and drink, even sometimes escorted by Bobby and Pam, but it's not OK for these same-age kids to drink at a private party? I think Bobby was just pissed that for once he was in a room full of young women and nobody threw themself at him. 

- Sue Ellen was totally not pregnant in the scenes where they dragged her out of the car and up to her bedroom. She was showing big-time before that. And if she was passed out, how come when Bobby picked her up she put her arm around his head and shoulder?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed the latter too. But sometimes people who are drunk often come out of it quicker. In many cases, it's kind of a reflex when they realize people are around.

- This episode really highlights how clueless Miss Ellie is. Did she really think Lucy was out "studying" on a school night? Does she really think she can change JR after all those years of not reining him in? I think she's the one on pills, numbing her to what goes on around her.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's a family denial thing and it's kind of spooky.

Episode 29: John Ewing III, Part 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Ahmer]

> PAM: "I hope Cliff wouldn't do anything foolish." I don't think I even need to contextualize this. Perhaps a Pam denial meter is in order.

Pam Award:

Pam in that red dress at the hospital.

Angelica Award:

Nothing terrible.

Bobby Award:

The hippie drug dealer again.

April Award:

The moron who left his or her keys in the ignition at a SANITARIUM.

Sue Ellen denial meter: 3.

Tells Dr. Rogers that her drinking problem is being blown out of proportion. Tells Ellie that all her marital problems will be solved once the baby is born. Tells Bobby that she's just fine.

- Sometimes the producers are so careless with continuity that it truly bugs me. Where in the world did Sue Ellen's pearl necklace come from? She was NOT wearing it when JR brought her to the sanitarium in the previous episode - she was only wearing a long gold chain, which we see her wearing again AFTER giving up the necklace. Is this the type of thing she would have packed in her suitcase? I find that incredibly hard to believe, given that she had no intention of staying at the "clinic" very long.

- Here's one of those ones that leaves a ringing in my ears. Sue Ellen tells Ellie that she and JR haven't been on a vacation since their honeymoon. But in Episode 182, six years later, she talks about an occasion where she and JR visited Saudi Arabia on a business trip. Since this clearly does not happen any time in the next six years, we can only assume that it happened before. Or was I right, and was Sue Ellen so bored there that she didn't consider it a "vacation"?

- Braddock High School is spelled with one "D". Yeah, that school is sure gooder than yours.

- Of course, we know why it happens, but it is absolutely ridiculous for the white coats to allow Bobby to take Sue Ellen to her room and then be left there alone with her. This is the kind of thing that could make you lose your job, for insurance regulation reasons if nothing else. Suppose Bobby tripped on the steps or something and Sue Ellen fell and lost her baby. The Ewings could sue that institution blind.

- Is it fashionable to leave one's keys in one's car in Texas? I can't understand it. Several times at Southfork we've seen someone get in their car and find the keys in the ignition and drive away. But that's Southfork, where the Ewings believe that they're completely sheltered from the outside world. Here, we're at a sanitarium, and some smart guy or gal leaves the keys in the ignition so Sue Ellen can jump into a car and drive away. Unbelievable. Of course, if she couldn't, then she wouldn't end up at Dallas Memorial and her life wouldn't be in jeopardy and neither would John Ross's get the idea.

- When Bobby punches Cliff, the sound is clearly dubbed.

- When Sue Ellen slams into the pole and is attended to by the pickup truck driver, there is a freeze frame before we cut to commercial. I don't believe this happens again until Season 9, where Christopher and John Ross play with guns.

- Pam seems to be oblivious to people's faces. When Cliff shows up with a huge welt on his chin after being smacked by Bobby, Pam says absolutely nothing! Just like she did in Episode 25. Granted, she knows that Bobby "visited" Cliff, but this is a pretty big mark on Cliff's face!

ANH Alett's corner:

- Lucy was grounded and couldn't go anywhere unless Bobby or Ray took her. It's been less than a week, and she's back to driving her car.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good call!

-  Surprise, surprise. Bradock (with one D) High School actually has Black students.   Having Lucy say Hi to them just struck me as the show's attempt to say, "See, it's not true that all non-whites are only seen in subserviant roles."  Too harsh?  OK maybe it's just to show that while Lucy is a weak, spoiled kid, at least she's not a snob.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I see your point.

- Hatton tells Sue Ellen she's a slob, but she just makes the bed messier. It was goofy.   She just pushed the sheets and spread around. - What did Bobby have wrapped around his fist?  Sandpaper?  Cliff's face was instantly red like a layer of skin had been removed.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought it seemed like Cliff broke a few too many capillaries.

AHN Rob's corner:

- I'm not sure if the writers did this for symbolism, but did anyone notice how Sue Ellen was always drinking SOMETHING in every scene?  If it wasn't the hard stuff, it was orange juice.  If it wasn't orange juice, it was water.  Sue Ellen was right: She really DOESN'T have a drinking problem. She has no trouble at all downing any liquid placed in the same room with her.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I suppose there is SOME meaning behind it.

- And isn't alcohol supposed to be off limits to JOCK also.?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I pointed this out a few days ago.

- It seemed as if every time someone came to Sue Ellen's room at the sanitarium, an orderly was waiting outside just in case something happened - except, of course for the one time she got the drop on Hatton.  Classic Plot Trickery? YOU decide.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This happened every time Sue Ellen got a VISITOR, but when Hatton came to her room, there was no one waiting outside. I checked.

- The anesthesiologist told Dr. Crane that she had two minutes to deliver the baby.   Was that even possible - especially back in the seventies?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Through a C-section it would be possible, although it's a bit of a stretch. You just have to cut the mother's stomach open, expose the womb, make a small incision, and pull the baby out. At the point, it's considered delivered. All that's left is some icky clean-up.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Cliff seems to have a new apartment.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Does he? Hey, yeah, it's THE apartment! Finally.

- How come Lucy isn't at the hospital with the rest of the family?

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's a good question! I guess they're worried she'll get into one of the medicine cabinets.

- Heidi Hagman and Sheryl Lynn Katzman (soon to be Retino) are both credited in this episode but neither appear.  I figure that Jackie's scene was cut from the first scene between Cliff and Pam at the Store.  I still wonder where and when Heidi Hagman was in the the episode.  Another scene cut from the racquetball club?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Heidi Hagman was the sanitarium secretary we saw at the very beginning. Guess she quit the Racquet Club..

- When Cliff closes the door to his apartment to go see Sue Ellen at the hospital, he does not seem to lock it.

ANH Pam's corner:

- Lucy told Ellie that she must have been confident that she was going to pass all of her classes and graduate because she had all of her party invitations printed.  True enough, but Ellie didn't address them and send them out until AFTER Lucy passed all of her classes.  So much for Ellie's confidence in her.  Yet another Ewing party thrown together at the drop of a hat.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably a "gala celebration" of Lucy's success.

- Lucy's friend Ann looked and sounded more stoned in the school parking lot that she did at the party in the last episode.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She probably was.

- At the beginning of the episode the head guy at the sanitarium told J.R. that he couldn't see Sue Ellen, that it was too soon.  A couple of scenes later Miss Ellie was visiting her and I could swear she mentioned J.R. had been there yesterday.  I can't believe a day could make THAT much difference.  It seemed a bit strange that J.R., her husband would be told it was too soon to see her, and then they would turn around and let Ellie, her mother-in-law in to see her.  Not to mention Bobby her brother-in-law.  So when does Theresa plan to visit?

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's interesting. Perhaps Dr. Rogers means it's too soon for JR, specifically, to visit, because maybe he's talked to Sue Ellen and understands that she's really mad at him.

- Cliff has moved in to THE apartment!!!!  The producers must have gotten a deal on kitchen cabinets. Cliff had the same ones Lee Ann did a few episodes ago, only hers were that icky green. - That nurse at the sanitarium is really stupid! She asked She mentioned Sue Ellen's pearl necklace, a really BAD FAKE I might add, as a form of payment for alcohol.  Why didn't she mention the diamond ring instead?  It would be much more valuable to her and she could have the stones reset.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good call. I guess she read the script and realized that Sue Ellen needs that diamond ring so it can be stolen in seven years.

- Sue Ellen's coffee cup was empty when she was sitting with the doctor. - Pam carried the empty purse today.  Surprisingly, Sue Ellen's purse looked like it may have been full, or at least had SOMETHING in it.  Maybe it was Linda Gray's REAL purse.

- Sue Ellen's room looked very large for a sanitarium. Of course, I have no experience with this. But even in an institution as expensive as the one J.R. has locked her in I can't imagine her room being this large.  This looked about as large as her and J.R.'s bedroom at Southfork.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She must have gotten the deluxe suite. It's a high-class place - not having enough experience with these sorts of places, I can't really say.

- Sue Ellen threw a glass at J.R. and then they gave her ANOTHER one, and then later a china coffee cup!  What kind of a place is this anyway?  These people are here because they are unstable and are in need of therapy.  I would think using Tupperware or something would be the way to go, not breakable dishes.  If someone really wanted to, they could break their glass and slit their wrists or something and the hospital could be sued for millions.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. Of course. I need to give my head a shake for missing this. Of course, I hope they wouldn't do this for UNSTABLE patients. Based on what the doctors know, Sue Ellen is not a threat to herself or anyone else as long as she's not drinking. This could be iffy.

- Pam asked Ellie and Jock if they'd like some coffee, they said no.  Then, two seconds later Bobby handed Ellie a cup of coffee!!

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