Dallas Nitpicker Central (Reborn)

AHN Jason's corner:

- Ray tells Clayton that he needs help picking out quality horses.. hmmm I may be wrong but isn't he a COWBOY  and a RANCH FOREMAN!!  Come on...
This was pretty dumb. It must be tough being a Dallas writer. I can imagine coming to work one day and being told you have to write dialogue for a Clayton story line.

- More of a note than a nit.Steve Kanaly's hair seemed darker today. I think he is combing the darker sides of it over his forehead or he is dyeing part of it. I think the second is true.

- John Ross's fancy dress shoes don't seem to match his outfit.  They are light blue and his suit is dark.  Who dresses him?  Angelica Nero? I didn't notice. Good call.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Perhaps this is pushing it, but in the first scene in the episode with J.R. and Angelica, J.R. is wearing a different suit than he was previously, but the same tie.   I should think if you're going to change your suit, you should change your tie, too.
I didn't notice. Thanks.

- When Mandy storms into J.R.'s office, it is still presumably during office hours. So why doesn't a secretary try to stop Mandy, or at least follow her in then apologize to J.R.?  Was everyone out to lunch, or did they just stop caring about who storms into J.R.'s office? Excellent! Everyone missed this.

- Not a nit, but I loved it when Jenna completely rejected Jack (I think it was outside of her Boutique).  What made this even better was the classic line she used: "It's me; It's not you." The Big Ramboski REJECTED!!! HA HA HA!!!  This was probably the funniest part of the episode (next to the scene with Jamie and the seamstress).   Maybe Jenna's letdown line should be the line of the day.
I noticed the "It's not you, it's me" thing. Jenna's pathetic sometimes...most of the time. The trouble is it only gets worse from here on in.

- So Patricia gets one of those powerful, meaningful, silent scenes. We see Patricia at her house, packing her bags to leave Dallas, when what does she find?  You guessed it!  A PICTURE of Sue Ellen and John Ross.  How convenient!  Now she's able to stare at the picture and lament for ten minutes (not to downplay the scene -- I thought it was powerful and effective -- but this was a little too convenient).  You know what this means, don't you?  Yes!  John Rettino has been here!!!  Dusty also gets a silent scene (unfortunately, John Rettino must nothave had enough time to plant a picture of Sue Ellen in Dusty's room). Yet when Dusty exits the room (presumably for the last time), he leaves the lights on.  Dusty's apparently not much of a conservationist.
Well, it's a motel room. This is iffy. Good call on John Rettino striking.

Episode 205: Curiosity Killed The Cat

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Anne]

Sue Ellen: Miss Ellie is something wrong?
Miss Ellie: Is it that obvious?
Well, yeah, Miss Ellie it is kind of obvious, being that you have a faraway look in your eye and are unusually laconic! On this show, it is incredibly apparent when someone has a problem. They broadcast it, if not in so many words, don't you think?

First, a guest editorial RANT by AHN Joe S:

Whatever gave Mandy the idea that she was more important to J.R. than John Ross when she says, "Then you've chosen him over me,"?  Does Mandy honestly believe that J.R. is going to say the hell with his 6-year-old son, his own flesh-and-blood, just for her?  Please!  Mandy is on the wrong T.V. show.  She doesn't belong on Dallas, she belongs on Jerry Springer.
When Mandy's character was first introduced, I didn't have much of a problem with her character.  In fact, I thought she was a great plot contrivance at first, with J.R. and Cliff both using her for personal gain.  Nor could I stand why so many Dallas fans hated her.  However, I expected her to just leave Dallas eventually, sick and tired of Cliff and J.R.. But then J.R. fell in love with her, and she stuck around. That's when things really went downhill.  I should have known Mandy was trouble when she was first introduced.  I mean, she falls in love with some guy at a bar on first meeting him, and he's dead drunk!  What does that say about Mandy to begin with?   The writers really goofed with Mandy.  At least we felt sorry for Afton (though it took a while), because Audrey Landers is a good actress and the writers eventually gave her decent material.  You could feel all the pain she felt when Cliff treated her like crap.  But Mandy isn't nearly as good an actress.  I swear, she acts like a porn star in every scene she's in!  Every time I see her (usually with some very pouty expression on her face), I expect to see everyone rip off their clothes while some really bad rock music plays in the background.  I would die a happy man if, during another "passionate" scene with Mandy, Jim Davis burst through the door and "put her in her place."  Then he would yell at J.R. for getting involved with such a bad actress.

Great stuff! LOL! I think you're dead on, especially about the fact that, as 'the Rock' would say, Mandy needs to know her role and shut her mouth.

- Not a nit, just an observation: Pam finally got around to putting her name on her office door.

- Watch carefully after Grace re-enters the elevator at the Oil Baron's Club. The door begins to close even before Grace pushes the floor button. Lest you say that maybe it's on a timer or something, let me remind you that there is about forty seconds of dialogue between the time the door opens and Grace re-enters. That seems awfully long. The door must have read the script.

- When JR asks Jenna where Jack is, he refers to them as an 'item'. Now how would anyone get this impression? That cold fish has never even kissed him! I can't believe how badly the big Ramboski gets shafted by this temperamental tease in a dress.

- Mandy says she saw JR leave Angelica's house at 5 AM in the morning. What? It's way too bright outside to be 5 in the morning at any time of year! Except perhaps at the North Pole on June 21.

- And speaking of this, if Mandy really stayed up until 5 AM waiting for JR, shouldn't there be some wicked bags under her eyes? And she's remarkably well-rested in the morning!

- AHN Anne and I both wondered how the guy from the Woodgrove School knew Donna was at Southfork? Anne also wondered how he knew that Donna had lost her baby. Did she leave a note on the door: "Miscarried and moved into the big house?"

AHN Anne's corner:

- Just had to mention that when Cliff says to Mandy "You don't care about Sue Ellen?" she says, "Of course I do!" Some peace of mind for me on that one, because she has contradicted herself at least three times on that front now.
See Joe's rant above.

- Did you think it was funny that Ray and Donna could just get into the house so easily? We heard the door open and shut and then they were there. It seemed as though the help had gone home by this time, so that can only mean that the Ewings leave their front door open. Are they nuts?!
Yes, they are nuts. Good call!

- Since when does Grace join in on business lunches? I realize that she needed to be there in order to meet the detective, but it's still a contradiction.
No, it's actually classic plot trickery! It's very subtle, but she's never been at a business meeting before. So why is she there now? So she can run into Sam Barker. Classic. And I missed it. Thank you.

- I couldn't help but cringe when Donna and Ray were standing in their flooded living room and just contemplating the thought of building a new house, no resentment whatsoever that their things were ruined. On a personal note, I as a Minnesotan was victimized by a huge flood in 1987, and losing half my baby pictures and well as my mom's high school and college diplomas, among other things, was not something I could shrug off that easily. Are the Krebbses human?
This isn't real life...it's Dallas. This is a great point though.

- So whose bedroom are Pam and Mark sleeping in now? It looks like Mark got new linens if it's his.
I noticed that too, and the only thing odd about it is that it indicates that the hired help is doing its work by changing the sheets once in a while.

Back after a long absence...AHN NIS's corner:

The last time John Ross was jumping on the bed Sue Ellen scolded JR for getting him worked up before bedtime, now it seems to be OK (maybe because she was putting him to bed or because he's seven now).
That was a long time ago..you still remember that?

- As JR was sorting through Jack's mail you can see a flap open on a letter. What's up with the Dallas mail?
I didn't notice this but it appears to be quite common on the show.

- Seemed like a large story in the paper for Pete's partner that met with the accident. So soon after his death too.
Agreed. Another one for the tote board.

- JR didn't press 'end' on the cell phone when he hung up after talking with Sly. Maybe he doesn't have to.
I bet he does and he just conveniently forgot.

- Mandy didn't seem to step very far into the bathroom to flush the bracelet down the toilet.
No she did not. Good call. I'm trying hard to refrain from making some snide remarks here.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Mandy and the bracelet...   I found it a bit hard to believe that she would keep the bracelet in the box on the kitchen counter..  This is a woman who obviously appreciates jewels.  I am really surprised she wouldn't keep it in a jewelry box or something...

- How deep was the water in the Krebbs house?  Ray said he opened the door and they walked into what looks like mid way between their ankles and knees deep water..   Wouldn't it all gush out the door once it was opened?
Yes it would...unless it was already that deep outside.

Soon to be AHN Jake's corner:

- After Jenna goes through telling Jack that she doesn't want to see him anymore -- and quite clearly, I might add -- Jack says, "I'll call you in a few days."   Obviously he doesn't get the picture.  Jenna is sorry that she strung him along, but she is not interested in him.  If I were him, I wouldn't tell a woman who doesn't want to see me anymore "I'll call you in a few days." Yes, you're right. The whole thing is just to get Jack angry and make Jenna look like a total bitch. It serves both purposes well.

- Jack tells Jamie that he is going to leave town for a indefinite amount of time.   Why? she asks.  He says it has to do with Jenna and working at Ewing Oil.   I know it has something to do with Jenna, and I know he's not the office type, but just a few episodes ago he agreed to go on staff at Ewing Oil for about six months.   And why would a guy just about to go in on a big cattle ranching venture -- something he loves to do, from what we've seen -- skip town?  I think he's a little obsessed with Jenna. Definitely. But you've got to forgive the big Ramboski. I mean...though I get on her case for being such a stupid character sometimes, Jenna is an absolutely gorgeous woman! If she expressed interest in me, you can be damn sure I'd want to return it in kind. Not only that, but with the absence of Bobby, Jack is by all accounts the most attractive man on Dallas [according to the ladies]. The guy deserves a break...and not a heartbreak.

- I don't understand why Clayton's in big financial trouble.  Were did this come from?  From what we've seen, he's a pretty good business man, so why the selling off of his subsidiary. companies?  I know he wants to retire, but Clayton's a logical and practical man -- no reason to sell when the market's bad.  He must be in a lot of trouble... I think he is in a lot of trouble. I also think it has to do with the fact that he hasn't done much for his businesses since he moved in to Southfork. It becomes more clear later, if I'm not mistaken.

- After the luncheon at the Oil Baron's Club between Ewing Oil and Marinos Shipping, the parties get off on another floor.  The sign next to the elevator reads, "Oil Baron's Club". I was aware the restaurant was called "Oil Baron's Club", not the entire building.  We always see the same scene when they are eating, so I doubt the restaurant takes up the entire building.  It's very unlikely that the offices or whatever else is in the building goes under the title "Oil Baron's Club".
Yeah, I wasn't sure what to make of this. Something about this bothered me. Thanks.

- The writers of "Curiosity" took the murder of the private detective a little lightly, don't you think?  We find out that Grace killed a man so there'd be no complications in her and Angelica's little scheme, and there's not even any big dramatic music to accompany the surprise.  The Marinos Shipping deal is the biggest storyline (although Sue Ellen's addiction held that title early on in the season -- in my opinion the best this year), so what's with the no-big-deal attitude?
This is just to make Grace look like a bad-ass woman you don't want to mess with.

- I find it very odd that Mandy disposed of J.R.'s necklace in a toilet. I understand she didn't want it, but flushing it down the toilet -- come on! It may not burn in a fire, but if I were her, I would have smashed it against the wall or something, then threw it in the garbage.  She probably didn't want J.R. to see it, though, or have some bum find it in the landfill.  Still, there was something weird about it.  But even more weird, the sound of the toilet flushing was very muffled -- like she only pushed it halfway. Either that or it broke when she threw the necklace in it and flushed -- a really dumb thing to do!  It might not go down!
You know...if this were a Seinfeld episode, this would have been what caused the Krebbs' water main to go belly up! And then we would have had JR at the end of the episode looking into the camera and muttering "Newman!". Check out AHN Joe's rant about Mandy in the nitpick section today. For the real world, it just sounded like the sound mixer guy turned the volume down for some reason.

- At episode's end, Mandy tells Cliff that "J.R.'s hurt me for the last time.   Now I'm going to do it to him."  As far as I know, this is the first thing he's done that would hurt her.  Sure, he's spied on her once at a restaurant she was modeling at, but nothing like this. Well, JR did refuse to commit to her last season, but you're right. That's hardly significant.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Cabbage-a-riffic!!! Starting with John Ross bouncing on his bed yelling "Mommy's home! Mommy home!" and finishing with J.R and Sue Ellen's discussion outside his room, the first three minutes of the show were (ridiculously and obviously) chockfull of rehash.

-. After Phyllis hands Pam the package from Matt Cantrell she then asks Pam: "would you like me (Phyllis) to open it?". Now Pam may be inept when it comes to the oil business, but she's not that inept... Hey...we have no direct evidence of Pam's business competence.

- While trying not to insult the dead, what kind of a sissy bar drink was Sam Barker drinking when Grace approached him? Last time I checked, they only include maraschino cherries with Shirley Temples' (or Roy Rogers' for those of you south of the border). I wasn't paying attention to the drink. Good call!

AHN Joe S's corner:

- When J.R. leaves the Oil Baron's club (with Pam, Angelica, and Grace), the hat check girl gives J.R. his hat.  You'll notice that J.R.'s hat was just lying underneath a tray in a very small place all by itself.  I'm surprised no one else in the restaurant has hats in check, as well as the fact that the hat check area is so small (room enough for one hat).  Maybe there is no official hat check, but they make an exception for J.R..  Who knows? Great point!

- When Cliff makes a call from his office (I think it's Mandy that he calls), he dials seven numbers.  However, I thought that the Barnes-Wentworth offices were connected by five digit extensions. Therefore, wouldn't Cliff have to dial "9" first to get an outside line (i.e., eight numbers)? Yes he would. Thanks. I didn't notice.

- When Mandy drops her bracelet in the toilet and flushes, she reaches to the right to flush with her right hand.  However, don't most (if not all) American toilets have the flush handle on the right side of the toilet (your left if you're facing the toilet).   Therefore, Mandy should have to reach to her left (probably with her left hand) to flush the toilet .Perhaps the camera image was reversed in a mirror or something. Interesting.

AHN Matt's corner:

- I have posted two nits already about Ray's neglect of his own personal property, and I am aware that he is a Ewing, but he just barges in?  No doorbell, no knock.   Just walks in.  He is family, but this is an unexpected visit, and at a strange hour, and it is very rude to just walk in the house. What was also rude was when he comes in, he just says, we need to spend the night here.  He was never known for his politeness, but isn't a please in order?

- And then Clayton says that he will get Ellie up.  Is it really that important to wake her up?  can't Raoul or Theresa show them to a room, or can't Clayton or Sue Ellen get a couple of sheets and some extra pj's?

- How could Donna's dress be wet the way it was?  Wasn't Ray carrying her over the threshold?  If you say that he put her down while in the house then that would make no sense.  He would've opened up the sliding door, and water would've poured out, and he would've put her down outside.

- When Ray and Donna are sitting in their flooded house, are we supposed to believe that they would leave all their furniture and stuff in there to rot? And wouldn't they have some pumps getting the water out of there?  Idiots. This is great stuff, man! Ray is well on his way to becoming an oxling, in Clayton Farlow fashion.

- When Jack is gathering his stuff together to skip town, did anyone else notice how funny he bounces around.  I think that the padding in his jeans make him walk very strange. Another thing about Jack.....He only needs 1 suitcase?  With a large apartment like that, I would think that he has more clothes than just a few shirts. No pants?  No SOCKS? LOL! This is great.

- When Cliff is bribing the man from the hotel, we notice that he put the money in an envelope to be discreet.  Then why take the money out in full view and count it?   Doesn't that defeat the purpose of being discreet?
Yes it does. Good call.

- Just something that struck me as being funny... Sue Ellen says that 'No one has ever offered me a job before,' The fact that Sue Ellen was offered a job as the head of the fundraising just shows that this MUST be a dream.  She does have experience with those DOA clubs, but the HEAD of fundraising?  That's pushing it.
Someone else [maybe it was you] pointed out how it seems that whenever anyone does anything, they do it from the top down. Donna's first foray into the oil business is as a CEO. Jenna gets to own her boutique without really having any sales experience. And so on and so on.

- Also in the scene with JR and Angelica, the bellhop, or whatever he is, just walks in.   No knock? Nothing?  Where did he learn how to do this?  Ray Krebbs?
LOL! You almost expect him to come out and say he lost his key or something.

- I don't want to get into specifics, because it is gross, but most things that are flushed in a toilet are soft, and are broken up in the water pressure, so that they can flush, but wouldn't a gold/diamond bracelet clog the drain? Or at least take a couple of flushes?? Yup. You're right

Episode 206: The Missing Link

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 0. [He was in one scene]

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Anne]

Miss Ellie: Clayton's in some kind of trouble.
Punk: What kind of trouble is he in?
Well if she knew that, she wouldn't be wasting her time with you, now would she Punk?

- When Mandy calls Cliff, she holds the phone in such a way that it's difficult to see what she's doing. But I don't think she dials seven numbers...looks like more. Can anyone else tell?

- All of the AHNs caught the nonsense at the breakfast table. Sue Ellen took some orange juice and some food and consumed none of it. She didn't even allow her growing son to have breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Both Kyle and Anne thought it wasn't anything to worry about because John Ross is so excited about having his mom drive him to school that he yells "Neat-O!". Jason pointed out that Jenna, who had maybe three bites, even had the nerve to dab her clean lips before she leaves. You know, for all of the nice things that I say about Jenna, she's a real bitch sometimes, especially with her daughter. Can't Charlie pick her own breakfast? Jenna immediately tells Teresa to get them both some eggs. Everyone knows I try not to be indelicate on the nitpick page, but I'll make an exception here. Jenna must be having a EXTREMELY long time of the month!

- Matt Cantrell quietly strolls in to Ewing Oil, expecting to surprise his old friend Bobby Ewing. He asks Phyllis to be quiet so as not to ruin the surprise. Sly plays along. Okay. That's fine. But where the heck is Kendall? She's the receptionist, right? So shouldn't she be 'receptionisting'? Or is she conveniently absent today, and Doris the temp couldn't make it either?

- I will never understand why JR keeps asking Pam to let him know when Jack calls. Why her? She's not a secretary. If Jack calls, the first person to know about it will be either Sly or Phyllis. Not Kendall, since she's taking a holiday, I guess.

- Not a nit, just a side note: Donna's bought a Cadillac. I guess that oil company was a good investment. AHN Jake pointed out that she loved that oil company (spent ten million on it), and told Ray she didn't want to be just a housewife, so what about it?  I can understand when she was pregnant she couldn't go down to the oil drilling site, but they never even mentioned it.  It's just what happened to Pam's exercise place that she owned -- it just disappeared.

- I'll have to review the summaries, but I don't believe that Jerry Kenderson has met Sue Ellen Ewing. This is her first day on the job, yet he calls her "Mrs. Ewing", without being introduced to her by Mark, as if they've met before.

- As was pointed out by Kyle in yesterday's episode, Phyllis needs to know her role. After giving Pam the letters that Bobby wrote to Mark, she hangs around in the office waiting for Pam to say something. Would it not be more appropriate, charming and delightful Phyllis, to leave your boss alone with your former boss's private letters?

- Okay, let's review our Dallas history, shall we? Eleanor Farlow. She was married once before, I think...yes, she was. A fellow named Jock Ewing. Nice guy. Texas born and bred, in fine macho tradition, a real man's man. She bore him three strong sons...well, two strong ones and that one that ran off to California. But I digress. Are you with me so far? Good.
Punk Anderson tells her that her current husband is in financial trouble and Ellie is surprised, nay, flabbergasted, that he would not come to her and ask for her help in this situation. Someone please explain how this makes any sense. This woman was once married to Jock FREAKIN' Ewing, and she doesn't understand the whole male ego thing? Give me a break.

- It was probably unavoidable, but when the pile of oil drums falls on 'Jamie', you can clearly see that her stunt double has a ponytail, which Jamie does not. Nice try, but the producers never reckoned with the power of the nitpickers.

- That Mark Graison. He opens up a research clinic and suddenly he's "Mr. Blood Type." As soon as the doctor says that they've run out of blood to keep Jamie going, Mark says "You don't have any AB negative?" How the heck does he know that Jamie has AB negative blood? Cliff was the only one around when the doctor mentioned Jamie's blood type. Has Mark developed a habit of casually asking people what kind of blood type they have? AHNs Kyle and Jake caught this as well.

- I'm going to need some feedback on this one. Another history lesson, this one about Wentworth Tool and Die. When Rebecca Wentworth passed away, she split the company equally among her three children. In Episode 160, Cliff sold his share of the company to Katherine. In Episode 191, mean old Kathy killed Bobby before jobbing to death herself. With me so far? Good.
Now someone please explain why Pamela Ewing only owns 25% of the company, as she herself states. She started out with 33%, right? So what happened?
And more importantly, how the heck did Cliff get himself involved with the company again? He sold his share to Katherine. Katherine died. Are we to believe that she left Cliff part of the company? She hated Cliff, to the point where she tried to frame Cliff for shooting Bobby. Someone please unravel this mess!

From the newsgroup, Leo Black found: During the 11/24/98 episode Pam and Matt Cantrell were watching a football scrimmage. When the scene cut to the players on the field, I noticed the film was backwards - all the jersey numbers were reversed!! Check it out if you have it on tape. Pam sure has strange dreams!! I can't believe we all missed this.

AHN Anne's corner:

- Matt Cantrell did not go over very big with me, but I won't rant too much about him. My main nit is that he called Bobby his best friend. He remembers Jenna, which implies that he was around years ago when Bobby and she were dating; also Miss Ellie asks what he's been up to all these years. So he's been gone forever, obviously not kept in touch with Bobby, if the latter's death is news to him, and yet he and Bobby were best buds?
That might be explained by the fact that he was in the jungles of Colombia...but how the heck does he not know Pam? They were married for quite some time! He knows Ellie and Jenna, but not Pam?

- Mandy tells Cliff to meet him at the park by the bridge. That wall behind her was not a bridge. It's amazing that Cliff found her! Must be her radiant aura.

- Is it just me or is Mark a bad companion for Pam? Before you go off on your list of reasons why that's true, let me clarify: I'm referring to his refusal to listen to her problems from the office. She really needs someone to talk to and I think he's being unreasonable for not helping her out.
Thanks for not getting me started. I agree. I never really liked Mark that much at all.

- When Jamie and Cliff kissed, I noticed that Jenilee Harrison opened her eyes right before the cut. That kind of cracked me up: How soon is this over?

- Since J.R.'s door was open when Angelica left, wouldn't we as the viewing audience be able to hear Sly's voice from outside as well as the intercom? Absolutely correct.

- Okay, one more nit for Matt. Where does he get off yelling at the football team on the field? Unless he's the coach (and that would make no sense since he's heading right back down to South America), he should keep his big mouth shut. I'm surprised one of the players didn't tell him as much. Agreed. Go Vikings!

AHN Jason's corner:

- I laughed when Mandy tells Cliff that she doesn't want to be seen with him yet she meets him IN A PARK to discuss business.  And what about their dinner a few episodes back? Check out the Poll of the week if you want to gripe about Mandy.

- Did anyone notice that the doctor only asks Cliff and Sue Ellen if Jamie has any brothers or sisters?   What about her parents?  and several of her cousins are in the area.   Blood types are hereditary but not exclusive to siblings...Since her life is in danger, you'd think they would try every option..   She is a Ewing (by blood, snicker snicker)... Agreed. It's just a gimmick to make Jack's departure more ominous.

- I still say that Pam running Ewing Oil is a conflict of interest..  Her tiff with JR today seems to show how having a control in each company could affect her decisions in the other.. This is a tough one. Obviously if it were not for the Barnes/Ewing feud it would not be an issue. But it's clouded by the fact that Wentworth Tool and Die and Ewing Oil are not DIRECT competitors. Ewing Oil doesn't make machinery, it uses it. It's a very grey area.

Introducing...AHN Jake's corner:

- Someone on the web page mentioned that we never get a look at Barnes-Wentworth this year.  They said they probably didn't use the set.  Well, tonight, when Cliff was talking in his office to Mandy, I could clearly see his bar in the background.   It looks like they are using the set. Good call.

- Hasn't J.R. wondered what happened to Mandy's bracelet?  It was very expensive, and he just bought it for her.  That's a pretty big thing to overlook. Good point, again.

- What was the deal with the scene at the football practice?  It seems like Matt Cantrell goes on forever about how he and Bobby used to play football -- going into the details and positions of the game itself.  For someone who liked cheerleaders more than the game, he sure talks a lot about it.  And I doubt Pam was too interested in it all, unless she's a closet Cowboys fan. I think he's just being modest...he was all-conference twice. And you're right about Pam's being too interested.

- Clayton wanted to keep his selling of his companies secret, yet Punk Anderson found about it.  Unless Punk Anderson is also a private eye, I find it pretty odd how he uncovered such discreet business dealings.
Clayton should fire that lawyer right away. You're right. Punk shouldn't have been able to find that much out.

- In the final scene, after J.R. tells Mandy he is going to take a shower and kisses her, he leaves the room, exiting away from the curtain in the back. Yet, a few moments later, he opens the curtain discreetly and sees Mandy looking at some folders about his deal with Marinos Shipping.  I was aware going through the curtain was the only way into the bathroom.  How did he get there?  And did J.R. suspect Mandy, or did he catch her in the act?  If he didn't have a hunch that his mistress was going behind his back, then why did he open the curtain so as not to be noticed?  Or is it his practice to peek into a room before he walks in?  I think he had a hunch, and I think it's going to be more fun this way...wait till you see what JR does.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- If Matt Cantrell really did consider Bobby his best friend, why didn't he try to contact him (Bobby) over the past year? First, he should have called to give Bobby updates on his investment (yes, he was in Colombia, but they have phones there). Secondly, if Bobby was his closest friend, than he should have called just to keep in touch. Strange...
And Pam should know him and he should know Pam. This is strange...and stupid.

- A couple of gripes about the Dallas hospital system. Why are doctors and nurses always leaving patients alone that are in critical condition. If they're hooked up to an EKG chances are they are still in danger. And yet the doctors and nurses always LEAVE so that a Ewing (or in this case, a Barnes) can visit. Then the patient FLATLINES! This keeps happening!! Well, otherwise it would be pretty boring, wouldn't it?

AHN Joe S's corner:

- In case any of you were asleep, there is a hugely obvious BILC in the beginning of the episode, which begins by showing Mandy's legs.  In this scene, Mandy is nude at first, then we see her get dressed into a slinky nightie.  However, Mandy's attire (or lack of it) doesn't advance the plot one bit.  So why include this scene?   Because It Looks Cool!!! (Although I will admit, this scene is a great attention-grabber for the start of the show). Absolutely. BILC. It got my attention.

- When Jenna and Charlie are talking about Jack on the SF stairs, they stop towards the bottom of the staircase briefly, then continue on. When they resume moving. Charlie steps in front of her mother, taking the lead into the dining room.  However, when we see the Wades enter the dining room, we see Jenna in front of Charlie.  Somewhere between the bottom of the stairs and the dining room, did Jenna shove Charlie out of the way and step in front of her just to create a continuity error? Lately, it wouldn't surprise me.

- Matt Cantrell tells Pam that he will call her the next day, but that may prove hard to do since he didn't ask for her number.  He might mean that he'll call her at her office, but why doesn't he just get her direct office line number while he's there rather than have to bother looking up the Ewing Oil number in the phone book and go through the secretaries? Good point. But maybe Pam doesn't have a direct incoming line. Many executives don't, though JR does for private calls.

-  Boy, does that Matt Cantrell have a keen eye or what?  When he arrives on Southfork, he instantly recognizes Jenna, even though (a) he hasn't seen Jenna in years, (b) he has no reason to suspect that Jenna would even be on Southfork, and (c) Jenna has undergone two separate plastic surgeries since he last saw her.  Maybe more.   Perhaps Jenna looked like Suzanne Somers before "Dallas" was even on the air.  Who knows? That's great! I forgot to use the plastic surgery angle here.

- Is Jerry Kenderson channeling J.R.'s spirit?  When Jerry is talking to Sue Ellen and Mark Graison, he mentions that he's not very good at raising money, but very good at spending it.  This remark is similar to a comment J.R. made to Sue Ellen that very morning concerning her money-management skills.  A few seconds later, when Sue Ellen tells Jerry that people feel richer when they're dressed up, Jerry replies with the J.R.-patented, "Is that a fact?" Interesting.

- The doctor at the hospital tells Cliff that Jamie's loss of blood is especially serious for her because of her blood type -- AB negative -- insinuating that it is a rare blood type and thus extremely difficult to find suitable blood to give her to match it.   Now part of this is true: type AB blood is very rare indeed.  However, rarely does the blood of the donor have to exactly match the blood of the receiver.  There are four types of blood:  type O (the most common of all blood types), type A, type B, and type AB (for the sake of simplicity, I'll leave out the positive/negative Rhesus factor).  Type O patients can only receive blood from type O donors.  Type A patients can only receive blood from type O and type A donors.  Likewise, Type B patients can only receive blood from type O and type B donors.  However, type AB patients are known as "universal receivers" (just as type O patients are known as "universal donors").  This is because they can accept blood from all four blood types.  Therefore, Jamie should actually be very lucky to have that blood type, and it should be no problem to give her blood, since she can take any blood type.   Actually, it shouldn't be much of a problem anyway regardless of her blood type, because type O blood can be given to all four blood types, and type O is the most common of all blood types.  Apparently, the writers never paid attention in Biology class (or maybe Pam didn't pay attention -- it's her dream, after all), nor did they even bother to check their facts.  There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY the logic presented here could work.  It is in direct conflict with scientific fact.  This whole plot contrivance is completely bogus. Well, ordinarily I would totally agree with you but at least the writers make an effort. In the next episode they will invoke a very 'rare antigen' in Jamie's blood which is a difficult cross-match. I do not believe that such an antigen exists in normal, healthy people, but at least they're trying.

- Of course, the worst part was when the doctor came back and claimed that none of the AB negative blood they had was "a close enough match" and she needs an immediate family member's blood.  Oh, please!  Jack may not even have the same blood type as Jamie anyway (not that it should really matter, but if it didn't, it would contradict the writers' own logic).  Without getting too technical, for Jack to DEFINITELY have type AB blood as well, one of Jack and Jamie's parents would have had to have purebred type A blood, while the other would have had to have purebred type B blood.  If one of their parents had hybrid blood or type AB blood, then it would be possible for Jack to have a blood type other than AB.  But apparently the writers didn't take that into account, and believe donating blood is like donating a vital organ.
Or maybe it's simpler than that.  Maybe the writers realized they needed to add such a plot twist to get Jack back into the picture when they READ THE SCRIPT (if that's not a great paradox, I don't know what is)!!!
This is simply a contrivance, plain and simple. You're dead on there.

Episode 207: Twenty-Four Hours

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3.

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

Cliff: Did you see her?
Jack: Yes, they let me see her for a minute. She didn't even know I was there.

No kidding? Well Jack, she is in a coma.

- I would be completely remiss if I didn't mention that the Professor somehow managed to get off the island! First it was Ginger, who came back under the identity of Julie Grey and was JR's secretary and sex kitten in Season One. Now the Professor is here, as the new sheriff in town! Are Gilligan and Maryann on their way too?

- Something that's bothered people for a while got even muddier today. Apparently, Jenna's hired an employee to take care of the boutique while she grieves over Bobby and toys with the Ramboski's emotions. I'm still not sure what to make of this.

- Yet again, Sly shows a bit of Jackie in her. After JR finishes talking to the Professor, Angelica waltzes in to his office without a word from the secretaries. What gives?

- Take a look at Matt when he arrives at the hospital. He looks totally grungy! Hasn't he had time to take a shower? But then when he walks out of the hospital he looks squeaky-clean again. I guess the folks at the blood bank took the time to disinfect him.

- And that's not all they did. Look carefully at the bandage Matt has when he goes to his car. The bandage is right around his elbow joint! This is ridiculous. It should be much lower, on his upper forearm. That's normally where blood is drawn from.

- Whatever hospital this is, it's strange. Did anyone notice the 'Cafeteria' sign above a door in the waiting room? A cafeteria, next to the ICU waiting room? HUH? Does this seem right?

AHN Jake's corner:

- Speaking of Matt, I am finding it very hard to believe that he did not hear about Bobby's death until he came to Dallas.  His close friend? Obviously Matt liked the emeralds a little more.
I'm not too sure what to make of this, but this seems to be a popular opinion. It's possible that he was incommunicado for a while.

- When Jenna was leaving her shop with Donna, I noticed it was a different building then they used a few episodes back when Jack came to see Jenna, who was having problems locking the door.  Don't tell me she moved just because of those darn locks! I thought it was a different building too, but it could just look like a different place because they filmed it from a different angle. I'm not sure.

- When Cliff is watching the news at the hospital, he sees J.R. offering a reward for finding Jack.  When it is done, he phones Mandy and asks if she was watching the news.  Yes, she was, and the same channel.  I find that to be a little too convenient.  Afternoon news broadcasts don't draw extremely large crowds -- and it is not too often you find someone on 'Dallas' watching the tube -- especially someone like Mandy.
It is very convenient. You're right. Maybe Mandy doesn't have cable.

- When Jenna was in Jack's apartment, she noticed pictures related to fishing hanging above his desk -- and got the idea where he could be.  I never noticed them before.   Yes, that's a minor detail, but the people behind 'Dallas' do a lot of setting-up (foreshadowing things to come), and it seems to me like the whole storyline involving Jamie's accident wasn't planned.  Not to say there's anything wrong with it -- the storyline just plays to me that is was thought up as it was written.
Yeah, I hear you. This season they had to do a lot of fancy footwork to accommodate certain things. Certainly propmaster John Rettino had his hands full with stuff like this. We've never really gotten a good look at this part of Jack's apartment before, though.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Why would the research center have a better blood bank than a hospital? That really doesn't make much sense.
They probably don't, but at this point anything's worth a try.

- Sue Ellen's bit about donating blood was just so lame and corny (not that it isn't a good cause). They're sure trying to make her look like a caring person again, aren't they? The cabbageing and public service announcement were very egregious indeed. That said, please do go out and donate blood when you get the chance.

- Does it really take 7 and a quarter hours to test someone kidneys? Watch the beginning of the episode (8:00 am) when they take the test, and then later on (3:15 PM) when they get the results.
Actually, it's 8 PM and then 3:15 PM - 19 hours! Sometimes very technical tests can take this long - and they certainly did 13 years ago.

AHN Anne's corner:

-Where is Grace from? She has an accent, but not as thick as Angelica's and she doesn't look Greek.
I'm not sure where Grace is from...she and the Ramboski will get fairly intimate soon but I don't know if they talk about this.

- Would Cliff really be so tolerant of the Ewings? He hates all of them, yet they're hanging around the hospital like a plague. I'd be ticked if I were him.
This is the 'Dynasty' nit. Everyone on Dynasty hates each other until someone gets sick and suddenly they're all lovey-dovey. At least JR isn't around to get on his nerves.

- When Ellie suggested that everyone go to bed, Ray just ignored her and talked about Jack going to see about a horse. That was rude! Good call.

- Donna has not been thinking about being a volunteer for a long time, as Ray said. Maybe a week tops.
Yes. Good point.

AHN NIS's corner:

-Speaking of the professor ..er.. The Sheriff - it looked like he only pressed three numbers on the Southfork phone.
I'll double check.

- Shouldn't someone have called to prepare the Ewing jet for Ray?
Unless it was already on standby for some reason. This is a good question.

-How did Miss Ellie know that Clayton was selling 'two' companies. Did Punk tell her this?
I will double check this too.

AHN Joe's corner:

- No one (i.e., a secretary) tries to stop Angelica Nero when she barges into J.R.'s office. Good one.

- When Cliff dials from the pay phone, he doesn't wait for his quarter (or whatever the price was in texas at the time) to register before dialing.  Usually, it takes a few seconds (at least, it does in my dealings with pay phones).

- Hmm... in the previous episode, Matt seemed to not know of Pam's existence before he heard of her after he sent her the emerald.  But today, he relates to Pam that Bobby (who remember, is dead right now) told him that Pam's "one in a million."   How would he know this?

Episode 208: Twenty-Four Hours

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 1

- The APEX 2000 really bothers me. In 1985, most of us were lucky if we could afford a 286 computer! The 386 chip was just being introduced and was only available in superservers. 4 Megabytes of RAM was an outlandish amount, and you couldn't buy a hard drive bigger than 500 Megabytes - and even that would be several thousand dollars. However, Graison Research can afford this unbelievable machine, with 20 Megabytes of RAM and 5 Gigabytes of hard drive space.
Even if you grant that Mark Graison must have special friends at IBM, Intel, Microsoft, and Seagate who owe him favors, I find it very hard to believe that a facility that could spend this much money on a computer has to resort to fund-raising dinners.

- And I really think they got shafted anyway! If you look at the computer screen that we are shown, you'll find it very closely resembles that of a PC Junior! Remember those? I do. They were XT-class machines with 256K of RAM and no hard disk.

- And when the APEX 2000 searches its database for names, they appear in a random order...not alphabetical, or sorted by any criteria that I can tell. If I were doing this, I'd want to sort alphabetical by last name at least.

- It's hard to tell for sure, but for most of the time that Fred and JR are banging on the keyboard of whatever this thing is, the keystroke sounds don't seem to match what's happening on the screen.

- And today the other shoe falls, from five seasons ago! Back in Episode 55, after he was shot, we were told that JR's blood is a difficult cross-match for transfusion [sound familiar?]. Well, today we learn that he has O positive blood - the most common type in the world! If I were JR, I'd sue that incompetent doctor for fraud!

- And in the continuing vein of public service announcements: Mandy puts on her seat belt before driving away from her meeting with Cliff.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- The whole computer thing gave me a funny feeling. Mostly it was the logistics behind the blood database that bothered me. First of all, by consulting my Young Students Encyclopedia (circa 1982), I was able to find that the population of Athens was 870,000. Now it's nearly 1986 on Dallas, so we'll have to factor in potential growth... let's say there would be about a million Athenians at the time of the episode. How uncommon a name is Marinos? In a Greek city the size of Athens, there's got to be thousands (or at least a thousand), Granted Dimitri is more of a Russian first name, but come on! There's a fairly good chance that there's more than one Dimitri Marinos floating around Athens! Which leads me to the point that I don't think that there was a date of birth column on the computer screen (I'm not sure about this part). So what would happen if you looked up Bob Smith from New York, New York (uh-oh)? Furthermore, how does J.R. even now that Dimitri was born in Athens?? He doesn't. Finally, how exactly would they be able to compile a worldwide blood database? This was several years before the internet. Maybe they just called up every country in the world and asked for a file ("Hello, Bangladesh? We really need that disk!"). That's about it [I guess you could call it a RANT]. You're right. Good call.

- Is that the same Dick Fenneman as earlier in the week? It seems to me that the one today was taller and wider than the earlier incarnation. Although, I may just be losing my mind...
He didn't seem like the same guy, did he? I thought so too but I thought I was just hallucinating. Thanks.

- I was skeptical of the Mark Graison bashing (all right, I guess it wasn't bashing, but nobody seems to like him). But after today's episode, I'm starting to see the light. Man, what a jerk. I'm sure he's jealous, but today he was bordering on being abusive (albeit verbally abusive).
I don't like Mark Graison at all. I remember when I first started the Dallas Poll earlier this year, about February. I could not believe that the favorite male guest star was Mark Graison by such an overwhelming margin. Punk Anderson was also winning for a while there. I don't understand at all. Today was a good example. I remember the first time I watched "Sleeping with the Enemy" with Julia Roberts playing an abused wife. When her husband hit her, I swear I wanted to punch him out right then and there. I feel the same way about Mark Graison.

- When J.R. sells the first two-thirds of the Marinos deal off, he asks for 15% royalties. But then, when he's talking to Jordan Lee, he doesn't mention the 15% royalty. However, he tells Sly to draw up the exact same contract. What's up with that?
Did he leave that out? I was too busy laughing like a loon to notice. I love it when JR does this to the cartel.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When Angelica and Grace leave J.R.'s office after telling him the "truth", they wait for the elevator in the reception room.  But, there is no receptionist - again!  I guess if she had been there, Angelica and Grace wouldn't have been able to have their dramatic little talk. Agreed. Where the hell is Kendall?

- I know the only reason J.R. had lunch with Miss Stone was to offer her one-third of his deal with Marinos Shipping, but she seemed to think otherwise. I find it hard to understand why Miss Stone would want to get romantically involved with J.R., let alone conduct business with him, after he used her to set-up Cliff (1982-1983 season).   Sometimes she loves him, sometimes she hates him.  Make up your mind.
She changes her mind about him more often than Sue Ellen. This was really funny, though.

- J.R. buys Mandy a fur coat, yet she is surprised -- why?  Hasn't he bought her things from the beginning?  He makes a big deal out of how he bought it with the money he received from Pam buying him out for the emerald deal.  I know he told her this so she'd tell Cliff, but he never talked much business with her before, so wouldn't she be a little suspicious?  Plus, J.R. Ewing has tons of money -- he could have bought her the coat even if Pam didn't buy him out.   I guess he figures after being with Mandy for so long, she's bound to become stupid -- more each day. JR does talk about business quite a bit around Mandy - more now than he did before, but that's okay. And Mandy is on a downward spiral in the intelligence department. Without giving away too much, it won't be long before she's jobbing to Sue Ellen - and liking it!

- Also, when Mandy and J.R. are snuggling on her bed, he tells her that they'll going out to a fancy restaurant.  Remember, J.R., you must be discreet.  Sometimes he takes her to quiet, out of the way places, sometimes he flaunts her.  It's like some days he remembers Sue Ellen's rules, and sometimes he forgets. Yes. This is a good point.

- When Mark and Pam are in bed, she starts to tell him about her trip to Columbia.   He tells her he's getting out of bed to put some clothes on; he doesn't want to argue when he's naked.  Yet he only puts his robe back on -- no pants.  A few minutes later, he storms out the door.  Either he wasn't naked or anyone who sees him is going to be in for a big surprise.  This was his house (or hotel room), so what is he going to do, rent another room? LOL! Excellent call.

- He better rent another room, because if I were Pam, I wouldn't let him back in.   When Mark first appeared on the show, I didn't like him (because he was a major factor in the collapse of Pam and Bobby's marriage), but now I hate him. A few months ago, he went out of his way to come back at just the right moment for Pam.  Now he treats her like crap.  For some reason he doesn't like the deal Pam is making (not that he knows anything about J.R. and Matt) and hates the fact that she still loves Bobby.   The way he screamed at her tonight, I just wished he would drop dead of his disease.  And for a man who still has a disease, he's doing a lot of yelling -- seems in better shape and condition than when he was well.
As I said to AHN Kyle, I cannot for the life of me understand what people like about Mark. I was shocked out of my skull when Mark started topping the Dallas poll as the favorite male guest star. I just want to smack the bastard, the way Bobby did at the Oil Baron's Ball. And if I were Pam, I'd weld my knees shut until I woke up.

- I know Charlie Wade is a nice girl and wants to see her Mom happy, but I've never seen anyone so persistent to set her mother up with men.  I know she loved Bobby like a daughter loves her father, but I still think she had a bit of a crush on both him and Jack. You're probably right. The big Ramboski is a very likable guy and a fifteen-year old girl like Charlie would have pictures of guys like him in her locker.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I won't get into the blood antigen thing too much b/c it was obviously just a plot device--  Just a note...JR's blood type has changed from episode 103 when Bobby and Pam found out about Kristen's first baby..  He was B back then and now he is O. Someone needs to do some research when writing for this show...
Was it B? Thank you so much for reminding me. Back in Episode 55, they said it was a difficult cross-match like Jamie and I remember thinking that it was strange because of what I remembered about this episode.

-One bit of advice for Jack when he was driving Grace home...  Don't let her touch your car!!!!!!

- Mighty convenient that Sue Ellen gives JR a tour which concludes with that ultra modern computer...(snicker snicker)    Also it is so convenient that JR is left alone to access confidential medical records off of that thing. And would Graison Industries really have records on people in Greece?  Kind of far fetched.

AHN Anne's corner:

- The only unusual thing I noticed in Thursday's episode was that the doctor who handled Jamie's case could lend J.R. a book about blood types so quickly. First, as if he'd know where to find a book like that right away and secondly, can a hospital lend out a book to a normal person? It's not a library, for Heaven's sake!
And he's a hematologist I would imagine, so he should have plenty of books around on the subject. When I worked in a doctor's office, I could borrow books any time I wanted from the private library. And it is JR Ewing we're talking about here.

AHN NIS's corner:

- Does Jenna get get $25,000 for helping find Jack? JR rambles on to the media about finding the person.
He had to make something up. Personally I think he doesn't want to give Jenna the money because she'll just dump it into her failing boutique.

- HEY: Mandy puts on her seat belt! Yes she does. The third time on the show -- ever!

AHN Joe S's corner:

- This is really reaching far back into the deep recesses of my mind's memory banks, but it seems that the outer office of the Graison Research Center looks awfully like the place where Clint Ogden worked several seasons back.  The set-up seems almost exactly the same!  I remember that he [Clint Ogden] had some job involving advanced technology and he took Sue Ellen to his workplace once. Interesting. You always make me scramble for my old tapes.

- Not really a nitpick, but it really aggravated me when J.R. told Sly exactly what he did involving the Cartel and the Marinos deal.  We just saw, in consecutive scenes, J.R. selling a third of his share of the Marinos shipping deal to the three major Cartel members (Marilee Stone,Andy Bradley, and Jordan Lee), and now we have to see J.R. explaining it in detail, as if we couldn't figure it out on our own?  Just how stupid did CBS think Dallas fans were?  I can understand cabbageing when related incidences are several episodes and weeks apart, but this same-episode cabbageing is highly insulting to my intelligence.  This scene with Sly really spoiled the moment. Agreed.

-  By the way, aren't there any other Cartel members aside from Jordan, Andy, Marilee, and Cliff (who took Wade Luce's place some years ago)?  I remember that Holly Harwood was in the Cartel (even though her father apparently wasn't when he was alive), and then she disappeared, taking her oil company and place in the Cartel with her.   I also seem to remember Punk Anderson being involved with the Cartel, as well as many nameless faces in a Cartel meeting back in the fifth season.  What happened to these people?
I don't recall for sure whether Holly or Punk were IN the cartel, although they may have done business with them. As an independent investor, Punk certainly did. There were others but I think only these three have stood the test of time and stupidity.

Episode 209: Blame it on Bogota

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 8 [signifying a huge Ramboski push to come soon!]

Bonehead Dialogue Award:

JR [surprisingly] - "If you can't believe what you hear, what are you going to believe?" HUH?

- Slim pickings for this episode. One thing I did find was that Jenna's lock seems to changed again. The last time we saw her lock it, at was at chest level. Now, suddenly she has to reach up to get to it. What's up with that?

AHN Jake's corner:

- The emeralds J.R. took out of the bag to show Matt looked pretty fake to me. J.R. may be trying to screw both Matt and Pam, but Matt has seen emeralds before.   And these aren't emeralds.
Maybe they're uncut emeralds. Even so, they do look small - unlike the big chunk Matt first showed her. And of course, they ARE fake.

- I noticed that the wall in the hallway outside Mandy's apartment was painted red. I remember it being painted blue a couple of episodes back. Really? Good call.

- When Jamie awoke in the hospital, her nails looked like they had just been done. Don't tell me Sue Ellen has been painting Jamie's nails while she was in the coma. Excellent call. Thank you. Maybe Sue Ellen thought it was the end of a season.

- I know that J.R. fed Mandy the phony information about Pam's emerald's deal so Cliff would invest, but isn't that getting a little old?  I never thought I'd tire of J.R. setting up Cliff, but if he keeps doing it in the same ways, I might.  Sure, Cliff's stupid enough to fall for them again and again, but I'm not stupid enough to know the writers were having a little trouble coming up with fresh ideas.
Well, he's setting up both Pam and Cliff. And is this really the same way as the other times? It's iffy.

- I know Jenna's going through a great deal of emotional difficulty, but if she keeps on closing her shop early, it's going to go out of business. Amazingly, now matter how mad or sad Jenna is, she still looks absolutely stunning.  That goes double for Pam.
Next season this becomes comical. If I remember correctly, we NEVER see Jenna working again after Pam wakes up. I remember commenting in Season 10 about Jenna never doing anything at all. I swear I had forgotten she ever had the boutique.

- When J.R. goes to the ranch to see his mother, he tells her he was doing work at the office and when he saw her and Bobby's picture, he decided to pay her a visit.  That would mean it was a weekday.  Yet there are Charlie and John Ross washing a horse.   Those two have been making a regular habit of playing hooky.
Yup. And it looks like Christopher's gotten their bad habit too.

- J.R. asks his mother if she wants anything -- and she responds with something like like "An early Christmas present?"  Since this episode was aired January 24, 1986 -- a month after Christmas -- wouldn't that be "a late Christmas present"?   Someone's losing track of time.  Maybe this episode was filmed before Christmas.
Perhaps. I thought this was an odd comment too.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I think J.R.'s legal claim against Pam would pretty much be crap. If we're to believe that he's serious about taking her to court (for her incompetence in terms of business deals), than J.R. doesn't know too much about the legal system. Apparently J.R. believes that if Pam screws up the emerald situation, than he can get her thrown out of her position at Ewing Oil. But it doesn't work that way. Pam would pretty much have to be found to be insane (in the legal sense) to lose her role at Ewing Oil. Than again, this is the same crazy legal system which allowed (recovered) drunk Sue Ellen full custody of her child, so anything's possible! [My guess is that this is a moot point seeing as there's only about 3 weeks left in the dream season...]
It is a moot point. JR's plan strikes me as being somewhat far-fetched, though. You're right. Unless he plans on using Pam's guilt for wasting a fortune against her. That would be consistent with his style.

- Did anybody find John Ross saying that Sue Ellen's Walkman plan was her way of "filling my head with ideas" strange? I sure did. It's mind control, I tell you!

AHN Matt's corner:

- When Jack and Grace were walking, she asked about Jamie, and Jack said she was getting better.  I guess in his world a coma is still better.  Idiot. I noticed this too when Jamie woke up.

- Pam skipped a date with Mark and Sue Ellen to pack?  Number one, doesn't she have maids?  And number two, you would think that she would be able to keep a date especially after all the lecturing she gave Bobby when they were married.
Good call, my friend.

- When JR tucked in John Ross and leaves the room, it is still bright in there, like there were lights on. 

- When Franklin Horner told JR about the talk with Miss Ellie, he said it was unethical. Isn't it also illegal?  If he had questions wouldn't he call the brokerage firm, or Ellie's lawyer?  JR is not her keeper. I also don't understand how the checks can come from JR's account.
Because he's JR FREAKIN Ewing, that's why. I'm sure you're right that it is both unethical and illegal.

-What was that yutz Cliff Barnes watching on TV?  A gladiator porn movie? He is the stupidest character on the show. I usually don't mind the cabbageing on the show, because if people miss an episode or two, they can get caught up, but sometimes it goes way overboard- like today's conversation between Cliff and Jamie.
Actually I kind of liked that scene...it was the only nice one I can remember with Cliff and Jamie. It seemed heartfelt and well done. But what WAS up with that movie?

- I LOVED Ellie's riding outfit when she was with Jon Ross, Christopher, and Charlie. Where does this woman shop? Miss Ellie's Sack Dress Shack. Has to be.

AHN Jason's corner:

- JR tucks John Ross in and proceeds to leave without shutting off the light. I don't know about you, but when my parents used to tuck me in, they always shut off the light.... Yep. Pointed out.

- This is a continuity error.  When Grace and Jack are walking and talking about her career at Marinos, they pause (by a tree I think) and you see Jack's Left hand towards the top of the canister he is holding.  When they switch cameras to face Grace, you see his right hand on top.  Obviously Jack moves his hands between takes, even though there isn't suppose to be a pause in the scene. I'll check this.

- Barnes Wentworth seems to have changed offices.. or at least the reception area and Jackie's 'work' station seems to be a different angle than previous episodes...  (Did you catch her blank looks today when Cliff started blabbing out orders to her.  I laughed quite a bit..)
Jackie is such a moron. It does look different but maybe they redecorated after Pam left.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- There is an abrupt continuity cut in the first scene with Sue Ellen and Jerry.  We hear Mark knock on the door, and then we hear the door clicking open.  Immediately after we hear the door just starting to open, the camera cuts to a shot of Mark walking through a WIDE OPEN door.  There isn't even any evidence of the door moving into that position.  It's as if the door had been wide open all along. I'll check this.

- When Cliff enters the Barnes-Wentworth offices, we see the door close behind him, and the glass door is a single door which reads Barnes-Wentworth Oil, with each word underneath the other.  In every episode before this, the door leading to the Barnes-Wentworth offices was a set of double-doors which read as follows: "Barnes-Wentworth Oil Company."

- You'll notice that when Pam and Matt arrive at their hotel in Colombia, they only have one suitcase each.  You'd think for such a major, physically trying excursion as this, they'd have brought a bit more stuff with them.
I guess Matt advised her to travel light.

Episode 210: Shadow Games

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 0 [Yikes! What happened?]

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

PAM: "Feels like we've been climbing for hours!"

No kidding! Maybe its because you HAVE BEEN CLIMBING FOR HOURS!

- Not that I'm the least bit interested in the goings-on in South America yet, but why is Matt Cantrell speaking Spanish to the guy at the post office, who obviously speaks fairly good English? Same thing with the guy at the hotel. This is silly.

- What's with the little bench by Bobby's grave? That's cheesy. Did Ellie ask for it to be put in because she read the script and realized that Jenna would need it for her frequent visits?

- Speaking of Jenna: while she has her session, her breath is visible and most of the people around the ranch are wearing jackets. Why aren't the kids from Woodgrove wearing any coats? This makes very little sense.

- Not a nit, just an observation: did anyone else expect Jenna's soliloquy to Bobby to become a full-blown conversation? I half expected her to say, "What's that, Bobby?", like they do with stuffed animals on kids' shows.

- For those who don't know, part of this emerald mine storyline was crafted to give Victoria Principal some time off from the show. I don't mind that at all. What I do mind is that her double, who was seen momentarily in this episode, is pathetic. She has black hair, she looks rather fat...come on! Who casted this part, Deborah Shelton? [Sorry, Kyle...that was uncalled for. I apologize.]

AHN Kyle's corner:

- What's the deal with Victoria P. today? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Pam never actually appears on the show. We hear her voice and see her back, but we never see her. Does anybody know why this occurred, in early February of 1986?
It wasn't her. It was a stand-in. She needed some time off for some reason...I don't remember for sure.

- When Jenna visits Bobby's grave, I believe its the first time anyone's visited it the entire season. What's up with that? I know that everyone really misses him, but they really should come visit his grave more. It is on freakin' Southfork!
It's the first time they've shown it. Jenna mentioned something about visiting it in the previous episode. It would be gloomy/creepy if it was visited on a regular basis.

- Jenna today: "I want to go back" [in time]. Jenna last week: "Things are never going to be the same again". Pam: "Tell me I'm not dreaming". In retrospect, it appears as though the Dallas writers (never known for their subtlety) have been dropping hints as to what is to occur at the end of the season. (Although this really doesn't jive with what I've heard, mainly that they weren't sure how they were going to bring Bobby back and that Patrick Duffy's wife came up with the idea right near the end of the season). Yes, be assured that it was a last-minute decision, because Patrick Duffy's decision to return to the show was last-minute as well.

- Remember way back (think Season 1 and 2) when Pam was likened to Cartman's sentiments about Kyle's mom? Well there's a new Kyle's mom in town... and it's Jenna. Absolutely. Too bad you can't substitute 'Charlie' for Kyle or you lose the rhythm. All you need is Mr. Hankey and a "HOWWWWDY HO!" and you're all set.

AHN Jake's corner:

- I know it's been a few weeks since she signed up to work with the down syndrome kids, but Donna's just a little too good at sign language. Well, she's a quick learner. She started doing it while she was pregnant, right?

- When we first saw Matt and Pam climbing the mountain (Pam was asking when they would take a break) their voices seemed a little too close -- like they were talking right into the camera.  Yet there they were, about 10 feet away, walking their horses up the mountain.  The second time we saw Matt and Pam, I heard Matt talking, but his lips clearly weren't moving. .

- The nurse taking care of Jamie at her and Cliff's apartment offers to make them popcorn.   I assume she's never been there before, yet she doesn't ask where anything is -- not the popcorn, not the pans, nothing.  Seems like a weird thing for a nurse to do, anyway.  And Cliff renting 'Bambi' for Jamie...how corny was that? Very odd. And very corny.

- When a very angry J.R. informs Clayton that Miss Ellie has been buying his companies, Clayton says he's going to find her right away.  Yet he goes to Houston first. Oops! Actually, I think he says he's going to find OUT right away. I'll double check this, though.

- Why did Ellie cry when Donna told her the baby she used to be pregnant with had down syndrome?  Ellie didn't cry when Donna was hurt or when the baby died, yet she cries about 6 weeks after the baby dies after finding out it had a disorder.  Weird... I thought this was strange too, but I usually don't find fault with BBG's acting. Maybe there was a cut and we missed during this conversation.

- I find it odd that they choose to have the benefit and auction for the blood research center at the Oil Baron's Club.  I guess the producers of 'Dallas' thought it would be for the better -- budget-wise.
Yes, I absolutely agree. It only makes sense if your primary target was the oil community...but why would that be? Wouldn't you want to invite doctors, lawyers, other rich people? This is silly.

- J.R. seemed to be dancing oddly.  J.R. was never one to dance that much, and everyone else who was dancing was dancing slowly and calmly, yet J.R. sways like a swing in the wind.  Guess he's really happy!
Well, he's probably got his hands all over Linda Gray. That would make me very happy.

- Miss Ellie and Clayton seemed to resolve their problem a little too quickly.  He swooped her into the bathroom and was steaming, and a few minutes later, it's all done, and he says "I'm not furious at you.  I'm mad at myself".  Sure didn't seem like that to me.
This whole thing was stupid. At least now we can forget about the mandatory Ellie/Clayton existence justification storyline for the season.

- When Clayton came to the table with Ellie after their little chat in the ladies' bathroom, no one seems to notice Clayton -- not even Ray -- for about two minutes.   Guess they were so interested in Sue Ellen's pitiful and unconvincing speech.
Hey, you're right! Good call.

AHN Jason's corner:

-What is this 3 day rule with Ewing Oil?  So much for taking a honeymoon or any serious vacation.....
Yes. This is certainly not the first time someone's gone away for more than 3 days. I don't have a problem with the rule, just the fact that this is the first time it's been put into effect.

- Did you notice that when Jack introduces Grace and Jenna, he just uses first names..   Usually when you introduce your friends to strangers, you'd give a full name..   (Even though Grace's has not been given to us)  But if she has dated Jack, you would think he would know it...
Maybe he doesn't. Remember what she said about Marinos' glasnost policy. But he should at least introduce Jenna by her full name.

- Bobby's tombstone..  Says Bobby James Ewing..  I would have thought that they would have said something like Robert "Bobby" James Ewing..  I mean what will Ms. Ellie's say?   Ms. Ellie Ewing Farlow  (Maybe drop the Farlow if JR is in charge of the burial....) LOL! I know, but everybody since his birth apparently has called Bobby 'Bobby'. Except once in the first season when that jabronie Kent Jackson called Southfork and asked for Robert, but never else.

- Did anyone notice that Ray has the kid ride a pony (horse?) without a bridle? The kid was pulling on the horses mane to keep steady....Didn't notice. Thanks.

- Jamie's conversation with Cliff kind of bugged me...  It went like this..
    - "Cliff, you're not going? "
    - "I bought a table but want to stay here with you, poopsie" (OK I added this comment)
    - "But you must go,  It is the least we can do for Mark's clinic"

Now if he bought a table full of $1000.00 plate dinners, I would say he did his share for the clinic....
Yeah, I would think so. But I think Jamie might be thinking that Cliff is just trying to avoid going to the auction so that he won't have to bid on anything, since we all know he's a cheapskate and doesn't want to get stuck with the bill for anything. If he had an excuse not to go, no one could accused him of this.

- Also if you do view this scene again, pay attention to what Jamie says..something about how she knew the dinner  was that night that kind of confused me....I would be interested in your input.
Yeah, this seems kind of odd given that she just woke up from a coma. Probably Sue Ellen mentioned it in all the talk about the blood transfusion and the trouble with finding a donor. That's my guess.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- I see Jenna has the same annoying habit as Pam of smiling when she cries.  It must be all the plastic surgery affecting her facial
expressions.  Next thing you know, Jenna will be talking through her chin during phone conversations.

- Why does Floyd Erickson call J.R. at home on Southfork?  Since Floyd is directly involved in Miss Ellie's deals, wouldn't J.R.'s detective work be revealed if Miss Ellie picked up the phone and Floyd said he wanted to speak to J.R.?
Yes, you are right. Mike also pointed out that Ericson could have called JR at the office instead of flying up from Houston.

-  Something that's bothered me for a long time, but really hit home tonight with Mark directly in the public spotlight at his charity auction:  Shouldn't Mark be having a number of legal troubles and problems with the insurance companies since coming back from the dead? The man faked his own death, after all.  Not only should the life insurance companies that had a policy with him be pissed off right now, but the IRS should be chasing Mark for their share of cash, too.  Gee, I guess a world without insurance companies and the IRS would really have to be a dream.
Well, remember when Mark's lawyer told Pam that he wanted his estate left the way it was for 2 years after his death? I figure Mark had some kind of plan. I bet the insurance was never pursued and taxes were paid.

- Why is Jordan Lee sitting at the same table as Mark and Jerry at the charity auction?   Wouldn't it be more typical of him to sit with Andy Bradley or Cliff? Yes it would. Good call.

AHN Mike's corner:

- My wife informs me that she read in a one of the Dallas coffee table books that Pam's absence in the last episode was due to a back injury that prevented her from filming for a while.
Thanks. I remember it was something like that.

-On a completely different note, one of my pet peeves about Dallas (in the vein of people ordering a drink or food and then leaving before it comes) is how people get on a plane at the drop of a hat and travel to have 30 second in-person conversations that they could have easily had on the phone. Last night's episode had Miss Ellie's broker fly up from Houston to meet with JR for about a minute to have a nothing conversation. And did Nicholas have to fly all the way from Greece to tell Angelica Dimitri died? Don't they have phones in Greece?
Good call. I agree about the broker - Nicholas's news may have been more pressing, given Angelica's master plan. But it's a good point.

- Re Miss Ellie's dresses, my wife is convinced that the wardrobe people have one sack dress pattern and they simply use the same pattern every time but with different colors. She claims Miss Ellie had basically the same dress on three times last night but in three different colors. They may vary the collars and sleeves a little, but that's about it.
I think your wife is an astute judge of fashion.

-Watch Kenderson and Sue Ellen on stage with the microphone and notice the geeky guy on guitar in the background basking in his 15 minutes of fame. At one point, he's really hamming it up. The director must have noticed because in the last sequence, while you can see other band members where the guitar player was, he ain't there anymore.
Really? I'll check! Thanks!

AHN Matt's corner:

- Ray, Clayton, and "Eddie" are all hanging around the children with Downs Syndrome.  Now it is nice and great that they are there, but don't they have work to do?  Clayton is a big ox, but he usually helps out, and doesn't Ray have to feed some cows or anything?  And can "Eddie" the ranch-hand give up his time to watch a few children feed horses?  Southfork is supposed to be a big sprawling ranch, but why are there so many people just loafing around?
I agree with you - but how is this different than any other episode? :)

- Someone made a comment about all the help Miss Ellie did. Yeah, all she did was hug a couple of kids and say it was OK to pet the horses.  Big help Ellie.
She gave her permission to let the kids come over. Doesn't take much to get Donna happy anymore.

- And Jenna is riding a horse in the middle of the day.  Isn't she supposed to be running a boutique?  Bobby must have been a bad business man, because he bought two businesses and trusted two people to run them, and they just ignore it.  Pam's aerobic studio, and Jenna's Boutique.  And he lent all that money to that idiot Cantrell. Yeah, Bobby was a genius.
Agreed. Totally agreed. When it comes to business, he's no JR.

- Why would a cheapskate like Cliff Barnes buy a plate (an expensive one) at a charity auction, and then not plan on going?
Hmm. Maybe he really does love Jamie a whole lot. I don't know. I suspect it's to avoid the auction so he won't have to bid on anything - cheapskate.

- Why are Donna and Ray hanging around Southfork?  Is their water pipe still broken? Oh, yeah! I forgot about that!

- Looking at what the women (Sue Ellen, Donna) wore to the charity auction, I just had to notice one thing.  They bought these disgusting dresses at Jenna's.  No wonder she never works there, a dump like that just sells those ugly clothes. No wonder she doesn't need to work. Well, we don't know for sure whether they got them from Jenna, but it's a strong possibility. Then again, her boutique has been closed for a while, right?

- When Matt was in the jungle, he showered, and just put clothes on.  Don't most people dry off?
Matt Cantrell is NOT most people. He's weird.

Episode 211: Missing

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 0

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN NIS]

Ray: [coming down the stairs and finding Clayton restraining Jenna]: "What's wrong?"

She's freaking loony, Ray. That's what's wrong! AHN Jason nominated the whole scene as pathetic and I heartily agree.

- I wonder why, at the beginning of this episode, Matt doesn't cry out for the men in the group, who are also obviously missing? Wouldn't that increase the likelihood of finding someone and figuring out what happened? Or is he only worried about Pam because she has more interesting body parts?

- As was pointed out yesterday, the doors at the Barnes-Wentworth executive offices have been redone. At least they remain true to form. Instead of saying 'Barnes-Wentworth Oil Company" across both doors, both doors now just read 'Barnes Wentworth Oil".

- Aside from being a cheapskate, Cliff has a very short memory. He tells Jamie that until he married her, Pam was the only family he had. What about his mother Rebecca? What about his father Digger? What about his half-sister Kath...oh, wait, forget about Katherine. But what about his mom and dad? Don't they count?

- There were comments yesterday about the fact that Pam and Mark only brought one suitcase each to Los Gatos. I was almost ready to dismiss it until JR showed up with two suitcases for the one or two-day trip.

- Grace either did her homework or is psychic. Despite the fact that Jack introduced his ex-flame Jenna only by her first name yesterday, Grace refers to her as 'Jenna Wade'.

Deranged Clint asked: Why does Jamie act like a sexy porn star when she's talking with Cliff, but acts like a woman who escaped death when she talks to Sue Ellen. She acts like she's Cliff's love slave or something while Cliff's around.
Well, she has no other gimmick

Deranged Clint also asked: Would you say Patrick Duffy resembled Elvis Presley? I only say that because Cilla seems to be overacting making people think she really cared about Elvis. That money grubber wouldn't even remarry because of "the name", "the man" Strange how life imitates art, huh?

A new AOL submitter asked: Hello--I've been enjoying your page for a couple of weeks now, especially the daily nits!  This is not so much a nit as an observation about Miss Ellie's scene with Christopher.  She says her recipe for chicken soup was one of Bobby's favorites, which led me to wonder if she got the recipe from Campbell's, BECAUSE....in the mid-eighties, BBG did commercials for what was then a new line of soup for Campbell's called Home Cookin--I swear she was wearing those glasses on a chain around her neck just like in Episode 211 (my memory may be failing me on that part) but she was definitely hawking, you guessed it, chicken soup!   In fact, the commercial ended with BBG copying the ingredients off the can label--so she could make some for Christopher? Maybe she read the script!  I thought this was just a bizarre "coincidence'" and wondered if anyone else noticed!
I certainly did not. Thanks for the kind words - this is kind of stuff that gets posted!

AHN Bill commented about the fight between Matt and Mark.  These are two big and built guys.  They have this big fist fight.. several punches landed, falling off tables, etc.  And of course, at the end.. not the tiniest bit of blood.. no redness.. the next day, we see them with no bruises.   When big men like this hit each other this many times, they tend to hurt each other.  I didn't see this mentioned and it really stuck out to me. You are right about this...except in the WWF, I suppose. Good point.

AHN NIS's corner:

- When Matt calls the research center, there is no line light on the phone even though Sue Ellen says to Mark that Matt is on line 2. I didn't notice. Thanks.

- Grace appears to be wearing a bra or something when she is getting cozy with Jack for apparently the second time. I would think she would be just wearing just the shirt after the first time.
I suppose you're right. Grace doesn't strike me as being the shy type.

- After the kid delivers the 'ransom' note to Matt, I would think they would want to question the kid about who gave him the note before he gets away.
I don't believe we ever see the kid again, but I could be wrong. He probably wouldn't know, but you are right.

AHN Joe O's corner:

- Basically I take issue with the fight scene in today's episode.  I did find it amusing but was surprised to see the police take no immediate action to break it up.   Aren't the police responsible for "restoring order?"
Well, yes. It is Colombia, but you're right. This is a BILC [because it looks cool]. And did you see that Lou Thesz press by Matt? Stone Cold Steve Austin would be proud!

- The second thing I found peculiar about this scene is how the officer shoots his gun yet no one in the background even flinches.  I would think that would at least startle a person just a tad.
Hmm. Yes, I suppose you're right. The locals might be used to it, but Cliff shouldn't be.

- Finally, who the hell does Angelica Nero think she is?  Why does J.R. have to report to her?
JR doesn't have to report to her but she seems to be a control freak.

- I found the conversation between Ms. Ellie and Christopher to be a little odd.   What did Ms. Ellie mean when she said "if your mother has to stay longer than she expected."  Does  Ellie know something no one else knows.   Supposedly Pam's disappearance in Colombia is only known between Mark, J.R., Cliff, and Jamie.  So what is Miss Ellie referring to here.
Well, Sue Ellen knows because she was there when Mark got the call. This is probably how Ellie found out. Or maybe not - maybe she's just being ominous.

AHN Jason's corner:

- This one was from both yesterday and today.  Matt was swimming right before Pam (Or her stunt voice) was kidnapped.  He was shown nice and wet but when he runs through the "jungle" (I will get to this next)   and arrives at their tents he is dry. Then today he walks around in a mosquito infected, supposed to be steamy jungle, at night no less,  with no shirt and a vest only worn on one arm, the rest just dangling..   I admit he has a great body, but this is overkill.......
Correct on both counts.

- I just don't buy this jungle.. Yesterday Matt and VP's Body Double were walking through a very unexotic jungle that looked like a hiking trail I saw in New Hampshire!  I am no geography expert but it looks like a lot or a part of the Southfork riding trails, not a humid jungle near the equator.....
Three for three so far.

- Also, why is it that JR, Mark, and Cliff wear heavy business suits to the jungle and don't even break a sweat...  Why not wear shorts and boots?
Well, they're not in the jungle...they're at the hotel. But I see your point.

- Speaking of mismatched jungle attire...  Is a trip in the jungle the best place to wear an extremely valuable brooch?  Pam's body double seem to think so..  tsk tsk..
The hotel probably didn't have a safe...or maybe it does but it doubles as Chief Rueda's private stash.

- When a boss (Pam) is away from an office where she knows her partner doesn't exactly level with her, is it a smart policy to send your personal secretary off on a vacation?   You'd think she'd want Phyllis to keep tabs on JR while she is away....
I see your point, but from a real-world perspective, what the heck could Phyllis do?

- I liked it when Mark says Pam may have run away...  Sure I'd set fire to tents to run off into a jungle I have never been in before just to get away from a guy I begged to drag me off to this bug infested place..  Happens every day...., right guys?
(You know for an episode that she wasn't seen in,  Pam sure got a lot of nits today!!!)
I didn't think about it this way. Okay.

- Is it a good idea to fire a pistol in an enclosed public place like a hotel? Granted, it sounded like a cap gun but in real life, that bullet could have ricocheted (sp?) and seriously injured someone...(I know.  It was done -Because It Is Cool)
Yes. And so was the fight, although Matt really impressed me with that Lou Thesz press.

- JR has a few nits today too.  First, he takes a briefcase into a meeting and has the money he needs in his jacket pocket..  Why bring the briefcase? Good call!

- Secondly, the trigger happy multi-lingual police guy leaves the first envelope of $$ JR gives him on his desk and pockets the second one..  Why not pocket both?  Money is still money.... Yes, you're right! I was going to make a note of this but I was busy typing in the summary and it slipped my mind.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Near the end of the benefit Sue Ellen says she's just waiting on the accountants to finish tabulating how much money was raised. In today's episode, back at Southfork, she mentions that it will be at least a couple of days before they can figure out how much money was brought in. The only thing that happens between Sue Ellen's two statements being Angelica donating a cool mil, one has to wonder just how incompetent these accountants are.
Okay. Good call.

- The whole concept of the benefit confuses me. At first I thought it was just a way to get some good P.R, but today Jerry Kenderson seems all excited about being able to purchase some much needed equipment. But how much money was raised? 2 million? 3 million dollars? If the clinic really did need money why wouldn't Mark (who's richer than God) just give them the cash?? I totally agree. They can afford the APEX 2000 with its 5 Gigabyte hard drive, but they have to go begging for pocket money? The whole thing is far-fetched, and I said so before.

- Does Barnes-Wentworth have automatic doors going into the office? It seems so. This seems to be an incredibly tacky idea (very Kmart-ish). Hard to tell, but I think so.

- The Pam that Cliff speaks of sure doesn't sound like the Pam Cliff new just a few short months ago (when he told her that she abandoned him etc., etc.). Apparently all it takes to warm Cliff's heart is a near death experience (i.e. Jamie's accident, Pam's disappearance). He's such a sweet guy... Yes, you're right.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Is the soft radio music that Matt turns on when J.R. comes by really enough to deter any bugs that may be in his room.  Usually, people following this tactic turn every noisy electrical appliance on to nearly full blast, but some soft cantina music isn't going to cut it. I thought so too, but I wasn't sure. Okay.

- When Jenna goes loony when prevented from visiting Bobby's grave, Miss Ellie offers Jenna to sit down and have some coffee.  Coffee for Jenna???  Gee, I hope it's decaf for the Ewings' sake.
Good call! At least they were smart enough to make the call for sedatives.

- Where the Hell have Phyllis and Kendall been for the past several episodes.  We haven't seen them!  Shouldn't Phyllis especially be quite busy answering phone calls and such since Pam is out of the country?
Well, Pam says she gave Phyllis time off, which is silly. I don't know where Kendall has disappeared to, though. Awfully convenient so that Angelica can creep in whenever she wants.

- Doesn't it seem to quick for Angelica to be standing comfortably at J.R.'s door so soon after he arrives.  He's only been in the offices for a few seconds, and we know Angelica hadn't come up while he was in the reception area, because we didn't hear the other elevator door open. Was Angelica hiding in Pam's office all this time?  Or maybe the Phantom let her in!
I blame the Phantom personally. Maybe Angelica is the Phantom!

AHN Matt's corner:

- In a big company like Graison Research, is it accurate to have Sue Ellen Ewing tallying up the money on a little calculator?  How about on a computer, where you can list who gave the money, and what they bought.  It may be more accurate than Miss Texas doing the job. Agreed. Why don't they use the awesome power of the APEX 2000? Or is 20 Megabytes of RAM insufficient for this?

- There are always accent inconsistencies with grace and Angelica, and it is starting to piss me off.  Grace said "North Shore" in a European accent, and Drillers in an American one.  All in the same sentence!!! UGGGHHHH!!!!
Yes. This gets worse as the storyline goes on. Thankfully not much longer.

- Miss Ellie was all for putting Sue Ellen in a sanitarium just because she was a drunk, and Jenna has been a raving lunatic for weeks, and all that she gets is a hug from Clayton.

- When Miss Ellie talked to Christopher, she said that maybe Pam and he can move in. Isn't Pam going to marry Mark?  Wouldn't it be WEIRD if Pam and Mark moved into Southfork, her dead ex-husband's house.  Wouldn't it be strange for Pam and Mark to live with Jenna and JR, and such. Makes no sense. She doesn't want to hurt Christopher's feelings, I guess.

AHN Jake's corner:

- After Matt wakes up after being unconscious, he walks over to the still-burning camp and finds his gun.  I find it hard to believe that they took his jewels, but not his gun.  If he had woken up soon than expected, he could have hunted them down with the gun. That small pouch he found...weren't those the jewels? You are right about this, though. I mean, no matter how it turns out, it would make more sense to make it look like a planned robbery.
CORRECTION:  Upon closer inspection, AHN Jason says that the bag looked empty.

- Does Jenna not know how Bobby died?  Jenna says that if she had married Bobby, he wouldn't have died.  That's right, he wouldn't have died, but Jenna would have been killed.  Katherine Wentworth would have made sure to kill Jenna if they ever were married.  And why does Jenna say she should have married him earlier?  She never postponed the marriage or anything.  It was Bobby who took a while to ask. At this point, Jenna does not know that Bobby was engaged to Pam. No one other than she and Mark know. I believe Jenna's going back to fifteen years ago when she walked out on Bobby the first time. Then he would have never met Pam...yada, yada, yada. And let's face it, she's completely nuts right now.

- Cliff says to Jamie that Pam is the strong one.  She is stronger than Cliff, but a while back, Cliff told Jamie or Mandy that Pam was emotionally unstable for a time...and very weak.
Really? I don't remember. Good call.

- What bedroom were Cliff and Jamie in when he was getting ready to leave? It is a different one than from the last episode, when Cliff rented her the movies.  I'm sure of it.
Maybe it's just a different angle. Hard to tell. You're probably right, though.

- When J.R. comes back from Los Gatos and goes to Ewing Oil, Sly tells him about Mandy stopping by.  Then he asks about Harve.  But she says nothing about Angelica calling.  Then a few seconds later Angelica walks in.  I guess the writers didn't want Sly to waste her breath telling J.R. about Angelica when she was going to walk in any moment anyway.
Good call. Sly read the script.

Episode 212: Dire Straits

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jake]

When Jerry Kenderson drops Sue Ellen off at Southfork, she tells him how he made her laugh so much.  Then she thanks him.  For what, he asks.  For the good time and the laughs, says Sue Ellen.  My, this guy has a short attention span.

- Jerry and Sue Ellen are already starting to bother me. First of all, Jerry brings Sue Ellen home after dinner. Where's her car? Did she get a ride that morning, expecting to go out to dinner and be dropped off later?

- And Jerry seems to get a parking spot right up against the driveway. There don't seem to be any other cars. Shouldn't JR's car be there, in addition to Ray's, Donna's, and Jenna's?

- And I would be remiss if I didn't point out that it's a damn shame for a talented actress like Linda Gray to have to sell Jerry Kenderson's stupid attempts at humor.

- When JR is examining the press clippings about Dimitri Marinos, Sly knocks on the door and then enters without a response from JR. This is a not a good habit. What if JR was having a private conversation...or doing something else private?

- Pam's lone suitcase is full of surprises. Remember, she only brought one suitcase with her to South America. Along with a whole bunch of other necessities, she managed to pack a very enticing frilly nightie! Was this for Mark's benefit, because she knew he'd be down sooner or later?

- We've seen that the divine Ms. Nero is a woman of many talents. She's also perfected an anti-aging formula! When we see the newscast of her from 1977, she looks almost exactly the same! This was ten years ago!

AHN Jason's corner:

- Bobby's picture on the mantle while Jenna talks to the shrink.  I considered this was kind of convenient but let it pass b/c then I realized it could have been there all along this season.  Anyone notice it there before?
Didn't notice it before. I'm sure Joe will point out that John Rettino strikes again!

- Cliff and Mark are still were their shirts and pants from the office and this time they are IN THE JUNGLE. Couldn't they remember to pack something more practical?

- What was with that handmade sign on the news broadcast?  Don't they have something more professional to record the date?  Kind of cheesy... Yes, they certainly should...unless it's from a special archive or something. It did look cheesy.

AHN Jake's corner:

- At the beginning of the episode, when Cliff was re-reading the ransom note, the Chief was sitting at the bar.  At the end of the last episode, he was sitting at the table, when Matt was reading the ransom note for the first time.  Only a couple of seconds must have passed, yet there is the Chief at the bar.
It's possible that more than a few seconds of past. They talk about 'waiting' a lot...maybe it's been a few minutes. It's a good point, though.

- Donna says that when she was talking to Jenna about Bobby, Jenna said she needs time to get over it.  But a few episodes ago, she said she'll never get over him.
No disrespect at all, my friend, but I think you're the only one who's interested in this right now. [I'm kidding. You're right.]

- I noticed the picture of Bobby on the fireplace mantel than Jenna was looking at was the same one as Miss Ellie had in her room in the season premiere, "Family Ewing", and the one Pam had on her desk a few episodes into the season.
This picture will be ubiquitous from now on. In a few seasons, Ray will have a framed 8 x 10 glossy of this in his house.

- For the second episode in about a week (the last time was when Jenna was at Bobby's grave), Jenna manages to stop crying almost instantly.  One second she's bawling and tears streaming down her face, the next second she's under control and not a tear in her face. Must be the sedatives from last night kicking in.

- Also, the conversation J.R. had with Sue Ellen up in her room about Jerry Kenderson having eyes for her reminded me very much of the one they had over Peter Richards -- almost word for word. I believe you are absolutely correct.

- Also, Sue Ellen doesn't seem to be spending a lot of time with John Ross. She gave him up so he could live with both parents, but J.R. seems to be spending the majority of the time.  I guess the job at Graison Research is more important...
Hmm. Where does this sound familiar? Oh, yes...Pam's work at the store, Pam's aerobics, Donna's oil company, Lucy's modeling...

- When Matt comes back from dropping off the ransom money, he goes right to the bar and starts drinking out of someone else's beer bottle.  I found that weird, and disgusting. Matt qualifies on both counts.

- The phrase "Oh, I didn't hear you coming" is becoming quite popular. Jenna said that to Charlie when Charlie came to talk to her outside.  No, really, Jenna?   If you had heard Charlie, you would have said something!
Another candidate for Bonehead Dialogue.

AHN NIS's corner:

- Clayton knew Dr. Danvers phone number by heart. Not bad ox-man. He may have only dialed six numbers but I would have to look again. It was hard to tell because I believe the scene was cut abruptly.

- Hey it's Sgt. Joseph Getraer from CHiPs. Looks like he has a new job. Maybe Ponch drove him to it. Really? I didn't realize it was him.

- Not sure what Cliff was looking at with the binoculars. It looked like only jungle in front of him. Except when Pam magically reappears with newly dyed hair.

- JR calls Sue Ellen and tells her Pam is OK? Couldn't that tip his hand in the matter? After all, it wasn't Pam, Mark, or Cliff that called him. I don't recall the details here...I'll check.

- Mark doesn't have to be at his auction dinner? Maybe not except that it is his fund raiser. I would think he has a certain obligation. Good point.

- JR asks Sly to call Alex Garrett in New York. It's seems late but Alex may have an answering service. I assume he does.

- Mark says something like 'the kidnappers will ask for money'. Cliff replies 'What, are you some kind of expert!'. What the hell do you think they will want? To trade Pam for Jamie? or that crystal sculpture? I missed this completely.

Episode 213: Overture

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason]

- Donna-  "How can you go back [to the psychiatrist] if you never went in the first place?"
- Jenna-  "What do you mean?"
To be fair,  it looks like they are finally making some progress here....

- Mark must have jungle fever today. In order to convince Cliff to stick around and see the mine, he tries to make him think how great it would be to strike it rich. Two problems with this, Mark. First of all, Cliff is already rich! Second of all, Cliff knows all about the joys of striking it rich...remember Gold Canyon 340? It can't get much more thrilling than that, can it? I mean, Cliff was almost penniless and then hit at the last minute.

- I think Ellie probably doesn't give instructions very well. When she and Donna are trying to move the couch in the livingroom, they are unable to even budge it. It doesn't look that heavy, so I can only assume that Ellie pulled one way and Donna the other. Either that or it's bolted to the floor.

- Did you catch the classic plot trickery today? This time, the emerald group takes a helicopter to a point near the mine. Very convenient, Matt. Why didn't you guys take a copter the FIRST time? Perhaps that way Pam might not have gotten kid...oh, never mind.

- I think I know why Donna has had such a hard time getting pregnant. She has a very poor grasp of anatomy. Tony claims he has a stomachache, so Donna feels his head. I didn't hear anything that would suggest the possibility of fever.

- But Donna must have an iron grip with those fists of death! Did you see the way that she held Jenna back at the restaurant? Jenna wanted to leave but all it took for Donna to hold her back was to grab her wrist! I'm impressed.

- Sly tells JR that Alex Garrett is calling on Line 2. JR picks up the phone and immediately starts talking, despite not having pressed a line button.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- It seems sort of strange that Grace and Jack had this really intimate and romantic scene and then finished it of with a tender... hug? Yet another instance where the Ramboski gets shafted. What is wrong with these women? Shouldn't they be throwing themselves at him?

- It seems like the decision to address the Down's Syndrome children with sign language or spoken word is fairly arbitrary. Case in point: when Donna talks to the kid with the stomach ache, she signs and speaks. Then Ray comes up and just starts speaking. I'm sure that doing both (signing and speaking) is just to facilitate the child's understanding, but the kid didn't seem to have any problem with Ray just talking.
Yes, you're right. And speaking of the kid, he becomes more and more important in the next two weeks.

- Why would Pam think that Cliff was involved with the emerald mine for anything else than turning a profit? She genuinely seems taken aback. Why would Cliff care about pursuing Bobby's dreams? He hates the Ewings. Which leads to the question: how well does Pam actually know Cliff?
Not as well as she thought. Or maybe she's just blinded by her own feelings for Bobby so she can't see it until now.

- What the hell is Donna wearing near the end of the show (when Jenna comes home from her "appointment"). It looks like a blue dress with... a tie! Abso-freakin-lutely ridiculous!!
Terrible. Not even Angelica would be caught dead in something like this.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why doesn't Ms. Ellie ask Raoul or Paco to help move the furniture...Isn't that what servants do?  Help around the house with manual labor? Especially since she and Donna can barely push it...
Good call. I forgot about them. Maybe this is Ellie's other passion, besides gardening.

- Matt calls JR from a lobby phone.  How? with a calling card?  Did they have them in 86? and would that kind of phone (in another country) accept it? Also he seems to be taking a big chance by talking about their plan with Mark (his enemy) walking right next to him.... I didn't notice. You're right! I wonder how many numbers he pressed...

The return of AHN Bill's corner:

- This isn't really a nit, but how ridiculous is it for Cliff to squabble about $12?   He sunk $2 million into this little scheme.. what is another $12 for laundry to a millionaire? This is just to illustrate what a cheapskate he is.

- And also, this has bothered me for a while.  I accept that maybe J.R. would know Harry McSween's home number by heart, but in general it is ridiculous how often when people call each other on Dallas, they just remember the phone number off the top of their head.  Of course, it's expected that J.R. would know the number for Southfork, for example, and I can't quote a real good specific (and the McSween is borderline, since he's been around at while even if it's his home #), but in general, this is something that always bothers me. Yes, sometimes it is egregious. But today's instance is excusable I think.

Episode 214: Sitting Ducks

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 6

- When Cliff and Jamie are getting cozy in his office, Jackie knocks on the door and walks right in. She sees them kissing and proceeds to go about her business! How did she know there wasn't MORE going on? Sheesh.

- As I indicated with the Line of the Day, Sue Ellen looks so scruffy today - that sweatshirt! And that hair! What is going on here? Is she deliberately trying to make herself look bad to keep the attention of Jerry Kenderson away?

- For all you folks who've been wondering - the Oil Baron's Club has finally hired a new waitress! Shelly takes over for Cassie today because the producers didn't feel like paying Cassie to wear a skimpy red dress and say "Are you ready to order?"

- And did anybody notice that when Mandy came to JR's office, as Sly was walking out, Mandy was giving her kind of a weird look? I knew it! I knew it! Back in Episode 211, when Mandy came to Ewing Oil looking for JR, she found Sly there all alone. I'm absolutely convinced that after the cameras were dropped, they shared an afternoon of passionate uninhibited lust. You can take it to the bank.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Ray's signing was ridiculous! He can't remember how to sign the phrase "you're welcome", so he asks the kids. They tell him. He then touches his mouth and proceeds to say the words "you're welcome". Geez Ray, did you really need a translator for that one? I know. Absolutely ridiculous.

- Should Ray really allow children (let alone children with Downs Syndrome) ride around in the back of his station wagon without a seat belt? This seems quite hazardous. Well, he has a reputation to maintain as a redneck. Good point.

- Pam and Mark's gift to John Ross is an abomination. Its a monstrosity! It seems rather presumptuous of them to purchase such a large and, in my opinion, incredibly tacky gift. Couldn't they have got him a tee-shirt or something?
"My aunt Pam got kidnapped in Colombia and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"! I love it! But it was better than the jobber gift that Charlie got. Earrings? That's original. Must have been Mark's idea.

- I guess this isn't too serious, but when Pam puts Christopher to bed (right before he tells Mark that he loves him), Pam covers Christopher's nose with his new hat. Now, I may be being slightly paranoid, but this seems to be not such a great idea. Children (especially younger ones like Christopher) really shouldn't have their airways blocked. Agreed. Pam's care for her uggie-wuggie snookums has been lacking since he changed from a cute toddler to an ugly four-year-old.

- If what Alex Garrett needs to tell J.R is so life threateningly important, couldn't he just call J.R from Belgium (or wherever he was going from Geneva). This would seem to be a logical solution. The real reason is because the writers badly need to create some suspense.

- Is it believable that Jamie, in Cliff's absence (which maybe lasted a week, ten days tops), changed the production methods of a multi-million dollar company the size of Barnes-Wentworth? Furthermore would Cliff really be able to notice the effects of Jamie's changes (assuming she actually made any)? Furthermore (yes, two furthermore's!!) what kind of changes might Jamie of made? "Um, could you guys maybe pump the oil faster? Great!!" This was really lame. Agreed.

From AOL Jake:  If they want Jack to be seen far away on the yacht with JR so that he'll pass for Dimitri, why did Angelica make that stupid remark in the limo about Jack passing the test of the photographers who could see through the limo windows (why were they not blacked out anyway?) when he wasn't made up to look older (like he was in the photos of Dimitri), and was dressed in his usual Dallas faux-cowboy drag, etc...??
Well, let's see. I believe the windows were tinted...from the inside, tinted windows look relatively normal. So the photographers could probably see some of the features of Jack's face but not much.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Both Sue Ellen and Pam changed their hair color. Sue Ellen is now frosted blonde and Pam is back to that dark auburn color she goes to every now and then. Has anybody noticed how bad Victoria Principal looks since she returned from the back problems that caused them to have her kidnapped for a few episodes? Her face looks older and harder, even a little puffy. I've noticed that she doesn't look great [being a Pam 'mark' I notice these things.] I also noticed the hair changes, but the characters [and actresses] can change their hair if they want, I guess.

- Speaking of hair, I've been meaning to mention the fact that it doesn't appear that the Big Ramboski ever took a comb or a brush to his hair this entire season. He always looks like he just rolled out of bed. And speaking of rolls, did anybody notice those love handles in the "Jack wears a Speedo" pool scene?
I'm sure most of the ladies were too busy checking out the Ramboski's unit underneath the Speedos. You are right about the hair. The gel budget this season must have been unbelievable.

- When JR rushes out of the hotel lobby, he and an extra are supposed to shake hands and exchange pleasantries. Both parties miss the timing and it looks really stupid as JR is past the guy before the handshake is even over. Yeah. I wasn't too sure what to make of this. Probably an extra who at the last minute thought it would be cool to shake Larry Hagman's hand, and the Hag-man ad-libbed.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Does Matt always conduct business in a hotel?  And does that Rueda character run his "law enforcement office" out of that hotel?  Seems like we never see him in a police station........ Well, he's in his office sometimes. But he seems to be awfully interested in what Senor Cantrell is doing. You're right.

- Alex Garrett calls JR about an important matter on what appears to be a house phone (lobby phone) in some airport or hotel.. Let's assume that he has a calling card and it would work... Would he really talk that kind of important business in public. (This is just like Matt calling JR in the hotel lobby a few episodes back) Good call.

- Did anyone notice that when Jack gives Grace the necklace at lunch, there is only one wine glass on the table (looks like hers)... What about him? Doesn't he have a drink..  (OK this may not be a nit but worth the comment....)
I didn't notice. I'll look again.

- Shouldn't they take attendance when the Woodgrove Kids come back from a field trip? It seemed like they all just got out of the van and left on their own.. some with parents, others just head off to wherever..  Kind of sloppy considering these are special needs kids....This must have been before permission slips. Or maybe Southfork doesn't count as a field trip. Strange, but then again, it's the Krebbses we're talking about here.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When Jack and Grace are at the restaurant, Grace wants to order, but Jack says he's in no hurry.  If the lady wants to order, let her order.  With the luck you're having with women, Jack, you better be nice...LOL! Agreed.

- When Pam gives Charlie some earrings, Charlie remarks, "How did you know I wanted earrings?"  Well, let's see Charlie: because you're a girl, and girls like earrings! Good call. Not to be chauvinistic, though, but young girls Charlie's age are typically crazy about them..

- Why does Christopher never cry for his dad?  I know he's little, but he was very attached to his dad.  Could have been an interesting sub-plot for a while (better than some of the crap they've given us).  And now he's telling Mark (a man he's only known a few months) he loves him.  Ugh!
Agreed. Now that you've reminded me, the way he blubbers over Pam in a few seasons makes me sick.

- Doesn't Mark know when to leave? Pam was talking to Christopher, and he didn't even have the respect to let them have some time alone.  Boy, he is selfish. Strike two against Mark.

- Jamie comments on how Cliff reads the reports really slow, and how's there's speed-reading classes in Dallas.  Is she crazy?  He was reading those reports faster than I've ever seen anyone -- three seconds, he's done!
She's just impatient. This is weird, though.

- Nicholas's demonstration of the ship exploding was neat and dramatic, but it wasn't really needed.  If other people see it (like the help or others on the beach) they might wonder what's going on.  And I'm also surprised why J.R. or Jack didn't see it.   Nicolas could have just told Angelica the plan, not blown up a rowboat to show her...
Because it looks cool. And someone else also wondered why we didn't see it. Remember that Martinique is 425 square miles in area - that's one-third the size of Rhode Island. There's plenty of isolated areas there. The better question, if they went somewhere isolated, is why they all would have gone off together and left JR and Jack alone. Isn't there the possibility they might do something to disrupt the 'grand plan'?

Episode 215: Masquerade

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

- First Nominee
Sue Ellen: (on the phone) ...thanks for the donation.
Jerry: Still raising money for Graison Research?

No, Jerry, she's decided to quit after one dinner party. Besides, she's far to smitten with you to concentrate on work.

- Second Nominee
J.R: I'll see you Saturday at the masquerade ball (or something like that).
Alex Garrett: We will be wearing masks?

No Alex, it's the worst masquerade ball ever!

Oh, boy. We're having some fun today!

- Let's see. Where to begin? Okay, how about Martinique. The very efficient hotel clerk who informs JR about Alex's message did a great job. It's a shame that he didn't get an AREA CODE to go with the phone number. I guess he expects JR to know what city Alex is in. NOTE: Several people are asking what the '011' in the number means. From my overseas travels, I know for a fact that "01" is for an international call, and "1" is the country code for the US or Canada. But after dialing 01 and then 1, you need an area code for sure.

- Pam and Sue Ellen got new hair-dos yesterday. Today Jenna decided to join them. Too bad they couldn't have given her a lobotomy at the same time.

- Ellie and Pam went shopping, did they? Good. It must be nice to shop when you're Ellie - you only have to go to "Sack Dresses 'R' Us". She must have gotten awfully tired going to all of Pam's hangouts. Of course, for real fun, Pam should have gone to Jenna's boutique.

- I've said it before. I will say it again. I will continue to trumpet it from the highest mountain. Ray Krebbs is a neanderthal sub-humanoid uncultured half-breed. He comes in from a hard day's work and sits down at the Southfork table for dinner. In his work clothes. Without taking a shower or even washing his hands. He's lucky JR wasn't there to teach him his role. Remember what he said to Jamie when she first arrived at the ranch about dressing up for dinner? And Jamie didn't look half bad that day. Ray should have been tossed out on his butt.

- Charlie is told by Sue Ellen and Donna that the phone number for Jenna's psychiatrist is in the book next to the phone. Okay, I'll buy that, though I'm not sure that I should. But should the book be open to that very page? Why?

- Pam. Oh, sweet, darling Pam who everyone adores. Have you learned nothing in seven years of being a Ewing? Let me give you a tiny hint: SHUT UP! Everybody doesn't need to know everything about what you do. And that goes double for psychotic rivals who are haunted by ghosts of your dead ex-husband. I slapped my head when you allowed Jenna to provoke you into saying that Bobby loved you too, but that was all right. I understand. But then, instead of leaving the matter be, you continued to tell her all about what happened that fateful night. You and Bobby got engaged. He said it was over with Jenna. He was on his way to tell her. He died. Why didn't you include graphic descriptions of your night of passion? About how good it was to have Bobby in your bed? How many times did you...well, you get the point. Or did you finally come to your senses and realize that that would be somewhat over-the-top? Yikes. You know what? I am officially no longer a Pam acolyte. [You're welcome, Kyle.]

- Jerry Kenderson is a bit confused. He tells Sue Ellen that he thinks he's found the right woman for him but she happens to be 'married'. Uh, no. Sue Ellen is divorced [or at least legally separated] from JR. That would mean that she is NOT married, Jerry. Why doesn't Sue Ellen clarify this?

- This foreshadows one of the things I think I think this week. During all of the arrangements for the masquerade ball, did Angelica run out of money for Grace's mask? She's not wearing one. I think there's a good reason for this, which I will elaborate on later - but it is interesting. NOTE: AHN Jason said that he saw the tape today and she did have a mask. It was a hand held job like what Angelica had.....

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Yes, Barnes Wentworth does have automatic doors! I can't believe it! Revolving doors are okay but come on, automatic? That's silly. Furthermore, it's not like Barnes-Wentworth is in the lobby, it's at least a few stories up (probably at the top). Attention Kmart shoppers... I didn't notice this. I'll look again.

- Did I miss something about Ray and Donna's "new" house. Last I saw, Ray was tearing it down. I know their house got flooded and then they moved to Southfork, but I don't remember hearing anything about the new place.
We haven't heard about it. I think it's Ray's excuse to mooch off Ellie and the other Ewings.

- Angelica played the James Bondesque villain to a T today. I love it when the evil person reveals their nefarious plot in a public forum. Although when Angelica says to Grace (her partner in crime no less) "When he dies, in the yacht" I had to laugh. That's the most blatant example of cabbageing I've seen in a long time.
Yeah, it was pretty blatant but it serves to turn Grace's mind.

- The crossbow was pretty cool, but really, wouldn't a gun (maybe a sniper rifle) have been a lot more effective to kill Jack? I think so. Agreed. I think the crossbow was easier to assimilate into the costume, though. And that guitarist sold the bump pretty well.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Sue Ellen's hair color has gotten much lighter in color since yesterday. She must have dyed it.  Not only a new hairstyle, but after a few days, a new hair color. She must have found Leslie Stewart's secret stash.

- When J.R. was on the phone with the lawyer who used to work for Marinos Shipping, he wasn't being very careful.  He was talking quite loudly, in fact. If I were J.R., I would have whispered or used a phone from town. Agreed.

- Jamie says she's been back to work for some time.  Does she use a different calendar than we do?  She just got out of the hospital about a week and a half ago.   Back to work for some time?  I don't think so.
It's iffy...okay. I'll buy it.

- When Charlie gets up, Sue Ellen and Donna tell her it's not morning anymore.  I don't think such an active girl as Charlie would be getting up at noon...
If she was anything like me at her age, noon is early on Saturday. It is still early for me on Saturday.

- Angelica is sure conspicuous!  Standing right next to J.R., she glances up at the shooter.  Then J.R. notices and gets out of the way.  Did Angelica hire this man to kill J.R.?  If she did, she would have been better off not to keep looking at him.   And if she didn't hire him...well, I guess I'll see tomorrow. Oh, she did...but Jack was the target, right? Stupid of her to look, though.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Jackie really pisses me off -- I know that if she worked for me as a secretary, she would have been fired a long time ago for her incompetence; and it surprises me that Cliff still keeps her on, since Pam got her the job to begin with and now Pam's gone from Barnes-Wentworth.  Today's Jackie blunder: When Pam strolls into the Barnes Wentworth offices (which have been redecorated again, I see), Jackie buzzes Cliff to tell him his sister's here, to which Cliff replies, "You're kidding!"  So far so good, but before Cliff can say anything else (such as, "Send her in" or "Wait a minute" or ANYTHING for that matter), Jackie doesn't wait for her boss's reply.   She just lets go of the button and begins a pleasant chat with Pam.  I swear, if Cliff really wants to get back at J.R., he should just send Jackie to work for Ewing Oil.
I know you hate spoilers, but I'll give you these: first, Jackie becomes a LOT worse as a secretary. Second, eventually she DOES start working at Ewing Oil.

- I understand that Ray and Donna are building a new house of their own, which is why they began living at Southfork for the time being, but isn't their old house "unflooded" by now?  Can't they move back?  Or did they just decide that Southfork is so much nicer than their old cabin that they'd rather stay there? The latter is true. It keeps them around the house so we have to continue to be subjected to this Woodgrove storyline.

- Not a nit, but I found it interesting how the outlandish costumes Angelica picked for J.R. and Jack so well reflects her fashion sense. Yup. Jack looked like a Yeti.

-  Did anyone else get the feeling that something was going to happen to John Ross while he was waiting in Pam's car at SF?  After all, it isn't safe for a child to be at the wheel of a car, whether the car's running or not.  If Patrick Duffy didn't come back, that would have been a decent cliffhanger:  Pam's car rolls out of the driveway and crashes with John Ross still in it, while Jenna loses it completely and she and Pam have a major, life-threatening catfight in the house.  This whole scene seemed completely ominous. Interesting.

- As far back as I can remember, whenever an episode of Dallas gets really exciting, the writers put these really boring scenes from plotlines that no one cares about in between the action (i.e., Sue Ellen's various love affairs, stuff concerning Ray and Donna, anything with Lucy, etc.).  Just when things were really heating up for J.R. and Jack, it cuts to Sue Ellen's dinner with Jerry Kenderson.  I understand that the writers need to fan out the main action, and put minor stuff in between, but this is a major contrast!  I just didn't think Sue Ellen's dinner with Jerry was interesting at all.  Maybe they should have had that thing with Pam, John Ross, and Jenna. Yes. I agree.

AHN Mike's corner:

- I was howling at some of the nits posted on this episode. One thing everybody seemed to overlook: how incredibly stupid was it for Nicholas and then Angelica to pull out guns and attempt to kill Dimitri/Ramboski in front of dozens of witnesses? Sure there was a bit of panic going on but you can't kill somebody with a gun without a silencer in that situation without several people witnessing it. How are Nicholas and Angelica going to take over Marinos Shipping if they're in jail for murder or attempted murder? Ah, there's the rub! And that allows the storyline to continue....Angelica, it seems, got away, but Nicholas did not yet, did he? Things will get very interesting now...and what of Grace?

- Kudos to Miss Ellie for taking a fashion risk. Her usual sack dress featured a ruffled collar when she wore the burgundy model. Yes it did! Must have been the result of the shopping trip with Pam.

- How did the former Marinos lawyer recognize JR at the party before JR recognized him? JR knew what costume he was wearing but not vice versa. And didn't you wonder just briefly if that clown figure between them was going to actually turn out to be a mime planted by Angelica?
I actually didn't think of that...maybe it's JR's goo-goo eyes. :) About the clown figure...yes, that would have been neat, and I hadn't considered it. Interesting,

The return of AHN Todd's corner:

- Aren't JR and Sue Ellen still married?  I think they are just separated, and they have had a custody battle.  You don't need a divorce to have a custody hearing. Why would you have a custody hearing if you're still legally married? Maybe if you're separated. There was talk of divorce, but perhaps it never materialized.

- You were talking about the shooter with the crossbow.  In Ottawa nearly ten years ago, this deranged ex-husband shot and killed his ex wife with a crossbow.  They are fairly easy to get here in Canada, because we don't have the overly relaxed gun happy killer endorsed gun laws like that of the United States.  Maybe Martinique has stricter gun laws for its citizens, and not everyone can get access to firearms so the crossbow was the way to go.  This had more style than when April was killed when everyone was shooting with machine guns....
I thought it looked cool. I don't know why others seemed to think it was lame.

AHN Jason's corner: [rounding out a busy day!]

- Ray's place was set at the table- shrimp cocktail and all...  Kind of strange if they didn't know he would be there for dinner... (You shouldn't leave seafood out for long. Teresa should know this....)
Agreed. She read the script. Good call.

- How the heck was anyone going to tell that Jack was Dimitri under that big mask?   Heck JR could have posed as him.  Only his eyes and mouth were visible... Some people might have been able to tell from the facial features and they way he walked or something.

- Why does Nicholas shoot the bowman before he aims for JR and Jack?  Why not kill the targets first..  He obliviously doesn't care if people see him b/c he tries to get them in the middle of a crowded room.  So why kill his own man first?
Well, we've seen the Marinos Shipping corporate policy for dealing with incompetence...I guess he was worried about his career, as stupid as that sounds. I see your point.

Episode 216: Just Deserts

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter:1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason]:

Jenna's whole lame explanation to Pam about how she thought she was the one who hurt most when Bobby died.

- When Angelica opens the balcony door, weird things happen. Grace's dress feathers go all over the place but for the few moments, the curtains don't wave in the wind.

- Couldn't help noticing that Pam's wearing make-up, her hair is impeccably done, and she doesn't seem a bit tired - at four in the morning! Same for Mark, who doesn't even yawn. Mark is a very sound sleeper, too - his side of the blanket isn't even ruffled! I wish I could sleep this well.

- Why is Pam wearing that leather jacket on both occasions when we see her at Ewing Oil? Is it cold in the office? A stylistic statement? What's up with that?

- When Jenna wanders into the livingroom and looks at the mantle pictures, why is the fire crackling away? There's no one else there. This is an awful waste.

AHN NIS's corner:

- JR talks about involvement in satellite communications. I thought he said on more than one occasion that oil was his only business. Why would Ewing Oil be involved in communications anyway?
I have to think about this a little bit. There might be a good reason.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When Pam was staring out of her window at 4 in the morning, it appeared to be very light outside.  I don't think any streetlight could be this bright...Could be a house light. Hard to tell.

- Angelica isn't very quiet when she's in Grace's room.  The police from Martinique and other international organizations want her for murder, yet she slips into Grace's room and starts talking -- not even that loudly, but if I were her, I'd whisper.
Well, there is that wicked wind blowing through the balcony. Actually, you've made me think of something - why the hell didn't Grace scream or something?

- And speaking of Grace, why didn't she scream?  She knew she was going to be in big trouble, so she could at least try to get out of it and have Angelica caught.
Oh...sorry about that. You thought of that too. Excellent call.

- When Mark drops off John Ross at Southfork, John Ross has a very old and worn piece of luggage.  For a boy who's part of such a rich family, you'd think his mom would be him something nicer!
Maybe that's a really fancy design...I don't know for sure.

- I found it odd that Mark talked to Jenna.  Mark didn't want Pam to go to Southfork so she wouldn't have a run-in with Jenna.  Yet Mark has a run-in with Jenna!
Yeah, Kyle mentioned this. But Jenna wouldn't have any of it and told Mark to know his role.

- When Mark is done his talk to Jenna, she says "Can't you see I'm very busy right now?" and then leaves.  You didn't look busy to me, Jenna.  You were sitting on the patio staring off into space. Real busy...
If she had said it to anyone who mattered, I'd be upset. But I think that I don't mind because it's Mark.

- A couple of episodes ago we saw Miss Ellie moving the couch, saying she wanted it in a new place.  Yet there is the Ewing couch, in the same place it always has been. Hey, you're right! I forgot about that.

- The picture of Lucy & Mitch that Jenna was looking at is new -- just for this scene, most likely.
Yup. John Rettino strikes again.

- I noticed the stairs at Pam's house have changed.  When she was coming down and saw Jenna, the stairs looked very different, not even in the same location.
Or perhaps Pam just got the new mirror put in. Tough call.

- J.R. has an "awakening" after Angelica points the gun at him and tells Sue Ellen he wants to fix their relationship.  How come Sue Ellen never flashed across his mind when Kristin shot him or when Edgar Randolph tried to shoot him?  Actually having someone shoot you (a la Kristin) would probably make your life flash before you.
It's a story. Plain and simple. If JR were really dying, he'd think of his son first, don't you think?

AHN Jason's corner:

- When Mark drops off John Ross, he parks right up close to the ranch.  But he sees Jenna there.  Where is her car?  Did Donna and Sue Ellen take away her keys for skipping her doctor's appointment? Hmm. Good point.

- When Jenna and Ellie talk, they say good night, and it looks kind of light out the kitchen window too... (It does seem darker when Jenna enters the parlor to cry in the next scene but that may have been Mood lighting.....) You're right!

- How the heck did Angelica get into Grace's room?  Aren't there cops swarming the resort?  Nice security...
Good question. I'm sure if anyone can find a way it's her, though. Actually, now that I think about, the cops must think that the immediate threat is over...they figure she's gone in the Marinos jet, right?

- Jenna talks about the last time she speaks to Bobby was when she canceled the wedding..   Wait..  She spoke to him again at the hospital... (and his grave..snicker snicker....)  I am assuming she meant the last time they had a real heart to heart about their marriage plans....
But the hospital room was a dream, right? HAH HAH HAH HAH.

- I liked it when Pam and Jenna hugged and Pam taps her fingers on Jenna's back..   looked really artificial...
It was a nice scene but looked strained. You're right.

- How did JR know the binder that Pam brings in is her proposal for the buyout? He doesn't open it and I am sure it doesn't say  "BUYOUT"  on it... He did open it...bad continuity here. One millisecond it's closed and the next he has it open.

- How did Jenna get into Pam's house?  We don't see her enter or a servant announce her.. She just is there...
An excellent question.

- Jenna mentions a woman she works with at her boutique offered her a job...  Since when has she done anything productive at that boutique? Who would hire a zombiefied emotionally cold person who walks around all day in a trance thinking about her lost love? This is very hard to believe. You are right.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- It's all well and good that both J.R and Jack think that Grace saved their lives, but the fact of the matter is that she didn't. True, she did warn them not to get on the boat, but the effect that had was to actually speed up the killing process. If anything saved their lives it was Angelica's blatant tip-off that was mentioned yesterday. [I suppose you could argue that Grace's action changed the course of events and thus saved lives, but who's got time for that?]
Yeah, this is iffy. I see your point.

- Speaking of which, that Grace fan club sure was short lived. By the way, Grace's death sure was handled indifferently. I think
J.R. summed it up best: "Oh, Jack. I know how much you felt for Grace [half-second pause]. Now let's get the hell out of here."
I will keep the Grace fan club alive, single-handedly if I have to!

- Apparently Grace was shot. So why isn't their any blood, anywhere? Angelica sure does clean up nice.
I don't think she said anything about not shooting her...she just said she had taken steps to remove Grace's gun, that's all. And it was a good clean-up job.

- Oh, the Cartel. I always thought that they were pathetic (as in not in the least bit threatening), but now I think they're inept, to boot. Do they really think that J.R. would buy back (even at 50%) out of the goodness of his heart. Marilee, I can understand (she's probably just looking to score), but the other two... I just don't know what's going on in their heads (apparently neither do the writers).
The cartel is so LAME! These are my favorite moments on the show...when JR does something 'out of the goodness of his heart'. I swear I laughed like a loon when he convinced each of them to take a share in the first place, and then I laughed like a loon again when I saw the look on his face today. This was freakin' priceless!

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Speaking of hair, I see Jenna's hairdo is back to normal.  Unlike Pam and Sue Ellen, she realized the awfulness of her curly hairstyle and fixed it.  Now if she could just do the same about her acting...Agreed.

- A continuity error: When Donna and Ray pull into the parking lot, Donna's window is down more than halfway on the exterior shot of the truck.  However, when it cuts to the inside of the truck, Donna's windows are rolled down less than halfway.
I'll check this. Thanks.

- Maybe it's just me, but right after Jack told Cliff and Jamie, "It's [Dallas] not my town," there was a long pause, during which Cliff gave Jamie a look which seemed to suggest, "Isn't it your line, here?"
It's not just you. I think you're right.

- Speaking of which, if you consider what happens at the end of the season, it's amazing that Pam knew exactly what happened at Lucy's wedding (in imagining Jenna's flashbacks), considering she wasn't there. Maybe it was a psychic dream. Good point.

Episode 217: Nothing's Ever Perfect

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter:2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jake]:

Donna: "...we're going to adopt!"
Jenna: "If there's anything I can do, let me know."

What are you going to do, Jenna? Sleep with the judge?

- I'm confused about something. When JR talks to Franklin Horner, he says he wants to make Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas. So does that mean it's NOT the biggest? Then who is? And why hasn't JR done everything in his power to mess up this powerful company?

- Ellie frightens me. When she's getting ready for dinner, she tells Clayton, "I was standing there looking at all those dresses...and I didn't see a thing!" I just had to pause the tape and belly-laugh. Does she mean she couldn't find anything other than her sack dresses? How come they don't count all of a sudden?

- When they are discussing the sale agreement, why are JR and Harve sitting in the dark? Certainly an old fuddy-duddy like Harve wouldn't stand for this, even if JR likes it.

- Christopher amazes me. Mark throws him a frisbee and then asks him to throw it back. He says he can't throw that far. He then takes five steps...FIVE steps, and then nearly sends it over Mark's head. What are they feeding this kid?

- Jenna permed her hair again? Why? She was almost starting to look good again.

- The floodlight over Jock's portrait at the office is new - and very cool! I don't know what it is about these scenes with John Ross and JR, but they really strike a chord with me. They sort of remind me of the penultimate scene of next season's cliffhanger, which I think is one of the most awesome scenes ever on the show. For Joe Stanganelli's sake, I will decline further comment on the details. I'll just finish by paraphrasing the immortal words of Eric Cartman: "Today, I learned that Jock Ewing KICKS ASS!" And that's the bottom line.

- I really liked the final scene too. Angelica putting Nicholas on ice rocked. Unlike so many other dramatic scenes on Dallas, this is one where the execution [pun intended] looks real. Just one problem: why is Nicholas unarmed? This does not make sense for a guy who knows Angelica [and presumably others] are potentially out there looking for him.

AHN Mike asked how does Nicholas get released even if he does spill his guts? Did they forget he shot that archer in the balcony and tried to kill JR and Jack. Even in Martinique that has to be murder and attempted murder.
Plea bargain, I guess. They figure that he's not dangerous without Angelica around and he was just acting on orders. It is a bit out of the ordinary though.

AHN Anne pointed out a potential line of the day, because it was so hilarious: "Hey!" --Clayton in response to Ray and Donna adopting. He looked like such a dork! I seriously laughed till I cried. Did you notice that, too? Maybe I missed Clayton so much that everything he does tickles me now. :) Yes I did and I cracked up too! It reminds me of that episode of South Park where Cartman starts laughing uncontrollably at something and then says, "That is so lame!" The way the camera abruptly cut to him and then cut away...it was classic.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I think I've reached a vital stage in my Mandyholic Anonymous program: acceptance. Mandy's just a pathetic loser today. By that I mean waiting around the house (and phone) for J.R. to call (like a giggly teenager waiting for the captain of the football team to give her a ring). Today's episode also seems to signify the end of her role on the show... Alas, in less than a week, everything old will be new again (so I'm not too worried).
Keep the faith, man! Remember, it all starts over next Friday, and JR will be madly in love with Mandy again. Don't worry. She'll stick around.

- Something about Angelica's murdering Nicholas left me with a strange feeling, but I can't quite put my finger on it... What was the diameter of the hairpin? Did she puncture his heart? Something just doesn't seem quite right... (it was pretty hardcore, though). That was a true mark-out moment! Hardcore barely captures the essence of what happened. It did seem long enough to puncture his heart [though it was quite small in diameter] but I'm sure it must have had some kind of wicked poison to kill him that quickly.

AHN Jake's corner: [a record-setting corner!]

- Ray says "Now I'm finally going to be a daddy."  Let's see Ray: I know your child died in the womb, but you still were a daddy, and you're not really the daddy of an adopted child. I know what you're saying, but let Ray have his fun. It's short-lived, it's totally lame...you can fast forward through it if you want. It's over quickly.

- It seems strange that Cliff is so delighted over Pam's selling to J.R. I know he doesn't want to have to deal with J.R. anymore, but I expected him to become quite angry -- after all, his sister sold 30% of Ewing Oil to his arch-enemy!
I was going to say that this is a tough call...but you are absolutely right! He should be pressuring Pam to sell it to him, not to JR, right? I agree with you 100%.

- Mark seems to be taking the PAM out of Pam.  He talks for her, orders for her, and brainwashes her into getting out of the oil business and sitting at home.  In the long run Pam really wouldn't be happy like this...Also, proposing in front of Christopher was not a very nice thing to do. It's like Pam was pressured to say "yes."
Mark Graison needs to be depushed immediately. Such a damn shame we have to wait until next Thursday before this happens.

- Jerry just walks into Sue Ellen's office without knocking.  If he wants Sue Ellen, he better be on his best behavior!
Yeah, I noticed this, but I think Jerry just hoping to catch Sue Ellen in some stage of undress.

- It doesn't seem like anyone understands about Sue Ellen and what would happen if she moved out.  Both Jerry and Miss Ellie seem to think she could just leave Southfork and take John Ross.  No.  We all understand that once she moved back, both she and J.R. were his parents and she'd didn't have full custody anymore.  Get with it Jerry and Ellie.  All right, so maybe Jerry wouldn't know, but Ellie sure would.
I don't believe [though I could be wrong] that Ellie knows the ramifications of Sue Ellen's return to the ranch. Tough to say.

- When Pam asks where she could go where no one ever heard of Ewing Oil, Mark responds with something like, "Paris, London...most of Europe."  No, you idiot!   Ewing Oil is a very large company and London and Paris are civilized nations, and so is "most of Europe."  They would have heard of Ewing Oil. Try Botswana, Africa.
Good call! How do you say 'Ewing' in Hutu?

- When J.R. comes to Mandy's place, she comments on how she hasn't seen him in a while.   Yes she has.  She saw him just over a week ago before he left to go to Martinique.  She is getting really stupid. Kyle [the ultimate Mandyholic] even agrees with you.

- After J.R. and Pam are done signing the papers of the sale of her shares, he walks into Bobby's office.  All of Pam's stuff is gone!  If she was having a hard time making up her mind about selling, don't you think she'd have only cleaned out her office after she'd signed the papers?
Mark probably convinced her to take everything out. Seriously, though, she only started having second thoughts when she saw the contracts. I'm sure everything's been gone for a while..

- Mark says that hot dogs taste better at the park.  Yeah, the baseball stadium, Mark, not the city park. Strike three on Graison...he's out.

- When Mark orders the hot dogs, Pam says "no onions."  I assume she meant on hers.  Usually they don't put onions on unless you ask. Or maybe Christopher's allergic to them. Who knows? But I see your point...don't you usually have to put your own condiments on the hot dog?

-Mark tells the vendor that they'll be at the bench.  What kind of vendor brings the food to people?  And it seemed like he never came -- how long does it take to make three hot dogs?
Excellent call! I was so caught up in the lameness of this I forgot about him.

- And another thing about the hot dogs: if Mark was so hungry, then why did he only order one?  I order at least 2, and Mark's a big guy -- and he said he was REAL HUNGRY.
He was making it up so he could make an elaborate show of pulling the ring out of the Cracker Jack.

- Donna's low-cut shirt with the collar sticking up was disgusting -- and not her style at all.
Yeah! Did she borrow this from Sue Ellen?

- That Angelica is sure suspicious.  Major authorities are looking for her, yet she walks into a hotel without even covering her face.  The clothes she wears would give her away in an instant, anyway :-) LOL! Great stuff, man.

- Why did Angelica take off her gloves?  After she stabbed Nicholas, she had to wipe her prints off the dagger and then used the gloves like a cloth to open the door when she was leaving.  Just keep them on!
To put Nicholas at ease, I guess...I don't know. And I don't think she was wiping prints off the dagger - she took it with her, right, so why would it matter? The only way to explain Nicholas's quick death is that the dagger was poisoned and she wiped the poison and blood away. I don't know why she didn't put the gloves on to open the door though. That was odd.

- And why did Angelica put the knife back in her hood?  I know it's been cleaned, but it was used to stab someone!  That's disgusting. And when she first came into the room, you couldn't see the dagger in her hood, but when she put it back in, it was as plain as day! This is hardcore, man. That was an awesome way to kill somebody! Very Stone Cold Steve Austin-esque. And she just moved the dagger from one side of her head to the other.

AHN Jason's corner:

- JR and the Marinos lawyer talk about his side deal with Angelica and how he doesn't get his extra 15%...  For some reason I thought it was 20 or 30%  I could be wrong on this one... You are absolutely right! In Episode 208, they agreed on 20%.

- Bad idea Mark to make a joke about not liking Christopher..  Them's fighting words to Pam....

- The "Nicholas Dies" scene is great..  I looked it over carefully and think that it was a large and metallic hat pin that she used.  It was kind of surprising that she was able to use enough force to penetrate his rib cage to reach his heart.  Also if it had a deadly poison on it (which could make sense)  it is wise to wear it as a hair pin?  One scratch on the scalp and no more Tacky outfit meters....  As something Angelica says suggested to me that she killed Grace in a similar manner  (Which would have made sense of the no gun shot sound and lack of blood in Grace's room)  but I believe the police or Jack had said that she was shot.   I think it would have been cool to have Angelica stab her with the pin (or needle?) and no one knows how it happened and THEN reveal it today as she kills Nicholas..
Well, she wiped the poison off before she stuck it in her hair. This was awesome, though, wasn't it? You're right about creating suspense for the modus operandi in Grace's death. And I have a really cool explanation for her being able to reach Nicholas's heart. Check out the things I think I think this week..

- This last one is something I mentioned last season..   Ms Ellie talks about how her family may be leaving her house.....How many bedrooms are there at Southfork? 1) Ellie and Clayton  2) JR  3) Sue Ellen 4) John Ross 5) Jenna 6) Charlie 7) Ray and Donna 8)Christopher's (when he visits)  9) Possibly Bobby's?  10) possibly Lucy's
The house does not look that big!!!!  (Let's not even consider the possibility that Theresa, Paco and Raoul live there.....)
This has been mentioned on several occasions by lots of people. You're right. I'll see if I can look back and tote the number of people who have lived at Southfork at once.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- One thing that bothered me:  Shouldn't there be a witness to the signing of the Ewing Oil buyout deal (other than Harve, who didn't sign the papers anyway)?   Otherwise, can't the buyout be declared null?
You are probably right...in fairness to the writers, they've never bothered with this before, so they're not changing their premise. I'll point it out. Maybe someone knows more than us.

-  In discussing the lack of "dirt" on Jerry Kenderson, he mentions that all he found was that a pledge died in a fraternity prank back while Jerry was in college, for which Mark Graison was suspended.  Wouldn't J.R. want to press on and no more about this?  Even if Jerry wasn't involved, wouldn't it be a good thing to have against Mark Graison to save for a rainy day?
If I remember correctly [and I'm going to be careful not to spoil it here] I believe that this little tidbit is not forgotten. I honestly don't remember how, though.

Episode 218: J.R Rising

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter:2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: Nothing great.

- As almost everyone is pointing out, Ray tells the adoption counselor that Mickey Trotter was his nephew. Not quite, Ray. He was your aunt's son - that would make him your cousin.

- There's a really dumb scene where Jack and Charlie are taking target practice at tin cans. At one point, Charlie takes a shot at four cans and knocks one over. Then Jack takes a shot and suddenly there are only two cans remaining! Did one of them fall over when we weren't looking?

- JR tells Jerry Kenderson that there was a time when he would have had his legs broken for messing around with his wife. When would this have been, JR? By my recollection, there have been five occasions during which Sue Ellen has had a significant extramarital relationship. One of them [Clint Ogden] you didn't know about, so that's okay. In one of them, the guy's legs were already useless [Dusty], so let's let that one be. That leaves three: two with Cliff Barnes and one with Peter Richards. In the case of Peter, you concocted the whole scheme to have him arrested and sent to New York. In the case of Cliff, you first made a mess of his career and then his mother's company. It seems to me, JR, that your modus operandi is to mess the transgressor up financially rather than inflicting physical harm. Maybe this comment is just designed to scare Jerry, but it sounds terribly out of place.

- I'm sure many people will point this out, but few care. When the Krebbses speak to Tony, why does Donna sign to Tony when it's obvious that he can read Ray's lips? This is just stupid.

AHN NIS's corner:

- Ray and Clayton try to convince Jack he can make a lot of money raising horses. He owns already 10% of Ewing Oil-more than raising horses. And he can play all day. Does Ray have a lot of free time after running Southfork?
I know. This is really silly.

- Wonder what JR did with the 600 million the cartel gave him? He had to borrow the 300 million to buy back the investment at 50 cents on the dollar. An outstanding question! Maybe it's for tax sheltering purposes or something.

- Shouldn't Angelica know she needs her passport stamped? She just walks away. Well, if I were her, I wouldn't want to spend too much time around customs officials. But you're right. She should know this - she must travel a lot.

AHN Todd's corner:

- Opening scene with Sue Ellen tending the fire.  How unusual.  I didn't think that rich folk like her would be able to do such dirty work.  I thought the only way that Sue Ellen knew to start a fire was to throw vodka on it! LOL! You're right. Although I bet she got Paco or someone else to start it and then just pretended to look busy.

- That adoption agent lady was weird looking.  Man did she have big glasses!   Anyway, I was quite surprised that this is the first mention since Ray's conviction that he has a criminal record.  Donna said talk to his parole officer... I never recall any instance where the parole officer had phoned, or Ray had gone to visit him.   Usually you have to visit them once a week, but maybe Ray doesn't have to because he is a Ewing. I know. Good calls all around.

- When Jack, Jenna and Charlie were out shooting at the cans, I thought that when Jenna grabbed the gun and said "real funny" in a sort of joking angered way, I thought that she might have turned on Jack and shot him. This would have been funny, 'cause I think that Jenna is still a little bit of a schizo. I would have marked out for that! That would have been cool. Or if she shot Charlie by accident and then went nuts again.

- Jack is supposedly sleeping on that air mattress in the pool.  If he were totally unsuspecting of the impending attack by John Ross and Charlie, he would have totally dropped his glass and drink in the water.  He must have read the script!
Yup. Either that or he has the reflexes of a cat.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- It seems odd that Ray, when speaking to Clayton, replies "yes sir". I guess I've never noticed it before. It just doesn't seem to be consistent with his character (i.e. being a mannerless half-breed, kidding!). Also, Clayton's pretty much his best friend, so one must ask, why? Yeah, I think it's probably an inside joke between them. Or else, Clayton's feeling threatened about his manhood and needs Ray to strengthen him.

- Let me get this straight: it takes Bobby (possibly the most virtuous person on the planet) and Pam months to adopt, so much so that Bobby is forced to purchase a baby (yes I realize is intent was not to purchase a child but rather to show J.R., but that's not really the point). Yet it takes Ray (with a murder conviction, no less) and Donna a mere matter of days to do the same thing. I refuse to accept the fact that mentally challenged children are not adoption-worthy. So what's the deal?
You know, now you've got me upset because you're right. What a gyp for Bobby and Pam. The only explanation I have is that Pam and Bobby wanted an infant, rather than a grown-up child. Infants are obviously much more in demand.

- Furthermore, Tony doesn't really seem to mentally challenged. Yes, he's deaf, but beyond that his retardation seems to be fairly mild. Awfully convenient that way, n'est-ce pas? Yup. I suppose you would have to call him fashion-challenged too.

- I have to ask: what the HELL was Sue Ellen talking about at lunch with Pam and Miss Ellie. Pam's talking about her engagement, and then Sue Ellen goes off on this huge tangent about her raging alcoholism (which, by the way, she seems
to find moderately humorous, lord knows why). I half expected the camera to cut back to Pam and Ellie, mouths agape, shaking their heads in sheer disbelief [a la the kids when Homer beats up the Hamburgler on "The Simpsons"]
I didn't see that episode but I get the idea. Must have had something to do with the Barnes family depush.

- Did anyone else think that Jenna was going to go psycho/berserk/crazy detached robot/murderess style on Jack and Charlie when she was holding that gun? I sure did. Man, that would have been a great cliffhanger: "Yeah...that's really funny" BANG! BANG! BANG!... It would have been great either way. If she shot Charlie by accident and went berserk on Jack again; or she shot the Ramboski and then Angelica stabbed her because she missed her opportunity for revenge.

- By the way, even after (and especially before) J.R and Jack find out about Nicholas' death, they certainly don't seem quite worried enough. Angelica is still on the loose. Jack makes a feeble attempt to make a connection but then gives up: "First Grace, now Nicholas [thoughtful pause]... mmmm, time for lunch..."
Must be the aftereffect of John Ross's shark attack.

- J.R is told, after buying back the Marinos deal, that he has just spent one-third of his line of credit. All right then, let's do the math. One-third of his line of credit (which is one billion) is 333.3 million. Since he bought it back at half the price, we much assume that Ewing Oil paid nearly $700 million for the Marinos deal. These numbers simply don't make sense!!! First of
all, I find it extremely unlikely that J.R would be willing to invest an amount the size of the GDP of some small countries in a venture with a company he has never dealt with before (and lest we forget Angelica's suspicious behavior all
the while). Also, the assumption must be that J.R used a bank loan to obtain the 700 mil, yet Franklin Horner (I think that's his name) nearly goes ballistic when J.R asks for the 1 billion line of credit! There are definitely some inconstancies here.

I understand your point but I don't think that's quite the essence of what happened. Ewing Oil and Marinos made a deal to undertake a joint venture somehow, which was going to be very lucrative for both of them. Marinos Shipping owned the oil tracts, and Ewing Oil had the equipment and know-how to get the oil out. Now, here's the thing: I don't think JR actually gave Marinos Shipping any cash - he just had a commitment to provide know-how and equipment, at whatever cost. And they would split the profits from the sale of the oil. Because of JR's apprehension about Angelica, he 'sold' Ewing Oil's share of the deal to the jobbers, for what amounted to roughly 700 million dollars between the three of them. Let's call it 750 million to make the math easier - that's 250 million each for Marilee, Andy, and Jordan. Each went along with the deal because they figured they stood to make a tidy profit. Let's say...350 million each. Not a bad pick up, right? Spend 250 to get back 100 more. So then the deal went sour and the jobbers got upset. Each of them is out 250 million. Now along comes JR, who offers to take their shares back - for $ 125 million dollars each. JR can easily afford to do this because he knows he'll end up getting a billion dollars back! The key is JR not actually spending as much cash as it might appear on the surface. However, it raises one interesting point - what did JR do with the 750 million dollars that he got from the cartel folks? Where did it go? Certainly there's enough there to pay them back, and keep a cool 375 million on the side.
Somewhere the math does not make sense. On that we can agree.
[Whew! That was a long one.]

AHN Jake's corner:

- I thought it was odd that Mandy told so much about her relationship with J.R. to Dale.  Why would she tell so much to a man who was just trying to hire her?
Maybe they've been friends and now Dale wants to establish a professional relationship.

- The whole thing with "Big Roy" was extremely weird.  When Jerry said something to Sue Ellen like, "No, not with 'Big Roy', with 'Big Me' ", I wanted to turn off the T.V. Jerry never was that great of a character, but I sure liked him better before he got involved with Sue Ellen. OH HELL YEAH. Check out my "I think" column this week.

- When Jenna was out with Jack and Charlie shooting cans, her dress seemed to be very long, thick, and warm.  It's like March or April, and Dallas is a very warm place. She must have been frying! Trying to counteract the frigidity that emanates from her, I would imagine. Or perhaps for the Big Ramboski's sake. It's obvious he's uncomfortable around bare female skin.

- The foster parents of Tony tell the Krebbs they've had Tony for two years. Yet when Ray had to drop off some of the kids a few episodes ago, the guy in charge of the Woodgrove School tells Ray the foster parents have had Tony for one year.
Really? I'll have to check.

- Since when did Jenna know so much about Sue Ellen's relationship with Jerry?  I don't remember Sue Ellen talking that much to Jenna about it - not to mention them talking much at all.
Agreed. But there's no one else around. Ellie and Donna are too busy with the food to care. And besides, it allows us to get a decent look at Jenna in a bathing suit.

- After J.R. orders his "regular", John Ross says he'll have the same. Then J.R. orders ginger ale for John Ross.  O.K., so he can't have a hard drink, but can't the boy choose his own soda? JR must know that ginger ale is his favorite. I guess so, at least.

- John Ross wants things to be like they used to - when Mommy and Daddy were together. Except for the few months after they were re-married, J.R., Sue Ellen, and John Ross were never together and happy at the same time.
I'll have to think about this. You're probably right.

- How come J.R. had to be discreet when he was with Mandy, eating at home? Every date Sue Ellen has with Jerry Kenderson is out at a restaurant. Excellent call! I completely forgot about their 'arrangement'.

- Near the end of the episode, when J.R. wants Sly to reach Alex (or whomever he wanted to talk to), she gets him on the phone very quickly - too quickly.  Ten seconds to call someone across the country?  Plus, Sly probably had to go through Alex's secretary first anyway... Yes. Good call.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Someone said that Jack or JR was wrong to say that Grace saved their lives just because she told them about the yacht trap.  In the same episode as that warning (TUES NIGHT), she also pushed Nicholas's gun out of the way when he tried to shoot them. I consider this saving their lives..
Perhaps they couldn't see that through the mayhem, but you're probably right.

- Jack, Ray and Clayton ride off to see Ray's future building venture.. They just leave their horses and not tied them up..  Is that wise, even on a ranch?
No it is not. This scene was so riddled with homosexual overtones it must have been directed by the big Ramboski. The whole "Yes sir" commentary, and then Ray putting his arms on Clayton's shoulder...sheesh.

- I could be wrong but when Jack is pushing his air chair to the deep end of the pool (to teach John Ross and Charlie to dive), he seems to be walking to the diving board.   Walking...  That would mean the water is what 5 or 6 feet deep..  I am a professional lifeguard..  You NEVER, NEVER, diving in water under 7 or 8 feet.   TOO much danger of paralysis.  If the water is that shallow, why the heck do they have a diving board?  (Someone mentioned this after Kristin's Death, when Cliff jumped in and was standing close to the diving board)

AHN Joe S's corner:

- In the first scene, I thought Sue Ellen's hair looked a bit like Jenna's hairdo (that is, Jenna's normal hairdo -- not her wacko perm). Oh, well.  It's better than her most recent hairstyle.
It seems to change at will. This is stupid.

- Upon close examination, I'm 99% certain that the woman at the adoption agency that Donna and Ray talk to does not have actual lenses in her humongous glasses. Even if you didn't examine closely, it would still be a good bet because I don't think they make lenses that big.

- When Jack and Charlie are resetting the cans to shoot them again, Charlie sets up three cans very close together; so close that they're touching each other.  But when they shoot the cans, the cans are suddenly evenly spaced.
I didn't notice. I was paying attention, too. Thanks.

- When Jenna shoots her can and knocks it down on the second shot, the can just gently falls over.  It doesn't look like it was knocked down with the velocity of a speeding bullet -- more like a crew member threw a pebble at it or something.
Probably because Priscilla is a terrible shot. I have the feeling that all of the special effects were provided by crew members wielding pebbles or strings.

- What the Hell kind of hat is Angelica wearing at the airport?  It looks like a pilot's cap (or beret, as the case may be).  Maybe she got lucky in the cockpit and made it with the pilot. Or maybe she killed him and took his place. Or perhaps she posed as a crew member so as not to arouse suspicion. I can just imagine Angelica serving coffee. Or some passenger getting abusive with her and demanding extra blankets or something and suddenly finding a hatpin in his chest.

Episode 219: Serendipity

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter:2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [Courtesy of AHN Kyle]

- Jack: "I'm going to the bank to draw up a loan against my 10% of Ewing Oil."
- Clayton: "Hmm."

- Not that I actually care whether the adoption storyline makes sense, but why didn't the stupid adoption counselor say anything about Tony's past experience? Because she thought he was 'over it'? Give me a break, lady, and clean those coke bottles you call spectacles. This is absolutely ridiculous. Any counselor worth their salt would at least warn Ray and Donna that it MIGHT happen.

- Is Chief Rueda eating a burrito? And downing it with wine? That's disgusting.

- Sue Ellen's office bears some scrutiny today. I just realized that Sue Ellen, who is only the head fund-raiser for Graison Research, has a REALLY sweetly furnished office. Luxurious couches, a really nice table, and all that - at a research center that has to resort to holding fund-raisers to raise cash.

- Charlie needs a dress for the dance, right? Okay. I have two problems with this. First of all, why will she have to SHOP for a dress? Are the items at her mother's boutique too expensive? Or does Charlie not qualify for an employee discount?

- My second problem [and I'll save more comments for later] is that the seductive red dress she wears to dinner to tease young, innocent Tony looks perfectly all right to wear to a school dance - especially if her date is the hunk she says he is.

- Jackie has been demoted to Receptionist? Isn't she Cliff's executive secretary? In name, if not in ability?

- And the stupidity from Jackie begins. She gives Cliff the petty cash - which is sitting in an envelope on her desk, plain as day. What is that all about? Is Cliff too cheap to afford a cashbox?

- Ellie is either psychic or has a lot of faith in Teresa. JR asks her if dinner is ready and Ellie says she's sure it is. Well, then why the heck haven't you folks gone to the table already?

- Cassie is amazing. JR has been seated for about ten milliseconds before she brings him his usual bourbon and branch.

- Not a nit, just a comment: on Pam's radio, the pause button is depressed. Pam doesn't strike me as being a tape player - more of a record-spinning wild woman. Maybe it's that fuddy-duddy Mark.

- Angelica is becoming something of a fashion plate - for real. How many berets does she have? Or is this the same one, with the little eagle insignia removed?

- And speaking of the aforementioned Ms. Nero, why did the police officer who signs out her stuff call her "Mrs. Barrett"? Is there any indication that Angelica is married, or is portraying herself as such? If I were her, I would have stuck a hatpin into that chauvinist pig.

- Oh, man! Oh, man! I thought this was going to happen! When Donna and Ray are introducing Tony to John Ross, he asks if Tony is really deaf. Donna signs the questions for Tony to understand and then Ray SAYS "He reads lips a little." Tony turns around to look at him...almost as if he could HEAR him. Now, it's possible that Solomon Smaniotto needs some help in order to get through these scenes...but come on!

- Not only that, but after Tony spills the glass of water, Charlie asks him what grade he is in. Again, Tony looks at Donna for a translation. But how in the world could he have HEARD Charlie ask the question?

From Deranged Clint:

-A minor nit during the Donna/Ray talking to family about Tony scene. Jenna is over in the corner holding a wine (Champagne) glass, taking a drink from it. In the next shot -- Jenna's glass is on the table. In a magic instant, Jenna flashes the glass back into place. Good call.

-What is Angelica a suspect of? Must of been some unknown crime, because the cops let her go real quick after checking her gun permit. Do what? The cop on the street calls her a prime suspect, and then the next time we see her she's being let go. Sloppy. This was very lame.

-I keep on finding Ray/Donna vs. Tony dumb. Ray at the beginning of the basketball court scene is screaming at Tony. Come on you slob, the boy is deaf -- you can scream until your throat falls out, but he ain't going to hear you.
Seriously? I missed this too because this was SO boring.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- What the hell is wrong with Donna (aside from the obvious fact that she's annoying)? She's wearing a freaking tie again! When you wear something That Angelica Nero wouldn't be caught dead in, that's when you know you've got problems!
Agreed.

- Jamie speaks of Cliff being all distraught about J.R owning 60% of Ewing Oil, yet the only scene I remember is when Pam tells Cliff that she's selling (and Cliff really doesn't seem that upset). So we, the viewer, seem to have missed a couple of scenes. What's the deal? Does TNN have something against Ken Kercheval, or is Jamie alluding to some off-screen occurrences? I think we did miss something. It's obvious that the Barnes clan has been terribly depushed the last few episodes, or else the writers just thought up this angle to give them something to do.

- And what about Cliff's manners (or lack thereof)? It's one thing to rip into Mandy when she's all alone, but it's entirely different when she's on a date. And what about when he just sits down at the table? Oh, man. Maybe I'm just being overprotective, though. No, you're right. Whether it's Mandy or Mark Graison, this is just downright rude.

- I have nothing but respect for BBG, but lately, the writers haven't given her much to work with. These kitchen talks with the Ewing children have begun to take the form of Sesame Street morality sessions. I half expect Miss Ellie to break into "it's okay that you like boys, John Ross"...
I never thought of Miss Ellie as Big Bird, but I think you're right. So would that make Tony Elmo?

- I nominate that entire scene between J.R and Marilee as a line of the day candidate (also the scene with Mandy and J.R [more on that later]). When J.R says "I thought you'd like to save his strength for later", I nearly fell down.
Yeah, this was great! And also the zinger about Harry's trainer worried about him being out of the cage. I tell you, the cartel folks are the best jobbers on the show.

- And what of Tony? Seems like he can read everyone's lips except for good old Shalane McCall.
I have a feeling that Tony is absolutely NOT paying attention to Shalane McCall's lips. I got the feeling that Tony believed the only thing missing from this scene was lap dancing and dollar bills stuffed into garter belts.

- Also, I know that John Ross was trying to be nice by talking nice and slow to Tony, but that whole scene had a cruel, humorous aspect to it.
Well, John Ross has led a sheltered life, right? He's probably never been exposed to a deaf person before. This is actually quite realistic because he doesn't know how to deal with it..

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why doesn't Mark tell JR to stay out of Jerry's life while he is telling him to stay away from Pam and himself?  Jerry is his best friend and an obviously too nice guy to handle JR's tactics...
We'll find out soon enough.

- Mark tells Sue Ellen that he will keep her name on the office, yet as she opens the door, it obviously does NOT have her name on the office door.
Yeah, I guess he was speaking figuratively.

- Sue Ellen tells Mark that she is taking some time off, yet she is packing all her stuff.   Seems like she could have been a bit more direct about quitting...
I suppose you're right. She has a habit of this though - I remember once when she planned to move across the hall into her own room and she asked Teresa whether she should take all of her clothes with her, instead of leaving a few of them over.

- Why does Angelica take out her license right in front of the police?  Why not lean over into the passenger side (where her purse was originally) and take it out there so the gun won't show.... Very careless. I agree.

- I liked JR's comment about Sue Ellen going out with Dr Feelgood....  If only that was true, Sue Ellen could add him to her "No commitment" tote board... That was great! It's a shame she never shagged him, but he was so damn BORING!

- I liked it how Donna and Ray say that Tony will have friends his own age at Southfork--John Ross and Charlie...   Let's see.... Tony is 12 or so, John Ross is 7  Charlie is what 15 or so...Surprised he didn't mention 4 year old Christopher..
Christopher only hangs around a little bit. Besides, with Charlie around, I'm sure he'll have all the *friendship* he wants. I see your point, though..

- Ray introduces John Ross as John Ross junior..  Actually he is John Ross #3.. Come on Ray, when will you get these family relationships down? Did he say that? I missed it. Thanks.

- This one goes back a while but when Jack said he was going to sell his share tonight, I remembered something...  Jack told Jamie at the very beginning of the "dream"  AKA right after Bobby was hit in the last episode of last season- that he was going to share his 10% with her. Now he is going to sell and has yet to make good on that promise.  Kind of surprises me b/c he is probably the most moral of the Ewing boys now that Bobby is gone... He wasn't very specific - he just said he would 'take care' of her and not 'forget' her. I remember the implication of sharing.

AHN Jake's corner:

- After the adoption agent tells the Krebbs about Tony's past adoption, they still want to try and adopt him.  Then the adoption agent says, "You still want to?" Well, of course. If they love the child enough to want to adopt him, I'm sure they're going to keep trying. This adoption counselor sucks. She didn't tell them about Tony' past experience, and now this? Stupid.

- Matt Cantrell's mention to the Chief (in Colombia) that he's going to bring the emeralds he's found to Pam and can't wait to see the look of surprise on her face.Why would she be surprised?  She would be happy, yes, but not surprised.  She believed there were emeralds in the mine and expects to get them. She said that but I wonder whether she really believes it. Hard to say.

- After Charlie tells her mom she needs a dress to go to the dance, Jenna tells Ellie she's going to have to give Charlie "that little talk."  I would guess Charlie is around 14, and if she's already showing interest in boys (a great deal of interest), I find it hard to believe she wouldn't already know the facts of life. If she does, then she should know not to wear that red dress around teenage boys or men.

- O.K., so maybe the cop who pulled Angelica over wouldn't recognize her, but I'm sure out of all the people at the station, someone would.  I'm sure her picture has been sent to all the law enforcement agencies in Texas.
No, I disagree. Interpol would know all about her, but why would some traffic cops on state highway 4985763? Generally speaking, such cops wouldn't know about international terrorists or anything like that.

- J.R. says that the guy he hired to look into Jerry was getting sloppy since Mark found out about it.  But later on he calls him up and tells him to look into Mark. Come on, J.R. -- you're the smart one.
Well, McSween is usually very reliable. I guess JR figures a word to the wise is sufficient.

- Also about the investigating: If Mark found out that someone was looking into his past, that means that someone he knew must have told him that a guy was around asking questions. But why would someone willing to give information away about Mark then go and tell Mark what happened? I see your point. I'll have to think about this.

- The whole scene at the dinner table with Tony was very off-key. Sometimes Donna signs when talking, sometimes she speaks and signs.  Make up your mind. The whole thing with Tony has been unbalanced. Agreed. The only redeeming quality I see in Tony is that he knows a hot babe when he sees one. Such a shame he didn't accept Charlie's offer to dance. Oh, to be young again.

- Mandy seems to be wearing the necklace -- or whatever it was J.R. gave her around her neck.  The same one she flushed down the toilet two weeks ago.
Really? I didn't notice. I'll check.
CORRECTION: AHN Joe S pointed out that it was a bracelet that she flushed, not a necklace.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- The opening establishing shot of the Ewing Oil building at the beginning of the episode is exactly the same as one used in either Thursday's or Friday's episode.  I remember from the white truck that says "MANHATTAN" on it that passes in front.   I'll have to check my tapes to verify the episode it's from, though.

- Well, I suppose I was wrong before -- the adoption agency social worker does have lenses in those huge glasses of hers.  I could tell from the light that reflected off of them today. Okay. Maybe she didn't before, though.

- If my memory is correct (unless there was a TNN cut), J.R. never actually pushed Jack to sell his shares of Ewing Oil to him.  In fact, it was Jack who got the idea by himself of possibly selling off his 10% of Ewing Oil when he wanted to leave Dallas.   Nor was it ever mentioned that he was considering selling to Pam. No, it hasn't been brought up until today.

- The cop that pulls over Angelica must be a rookie.  Since when does a cop ask someone to step out of their car for a speeding violation?  And shouldn't he ask for license and registration first thing? I don't know. This was very convoluted.

- Not a nit, just a comment: I know the constant change in hairstyles does get ridiculous every now and then, but I really like Sue Ellen's new hairdo.  And it's certainly better than that monstrosity she had a few episodes ago.
Yes. She looks absolutely beautiful with her hair like that.

- Is it just me, or does the Barnes-Wentworth outer office change every episode, now?
Quite possibly. We only see it once a day, so it's hard to tell.

- I remember earlier in the season I had a nit about the servants calling Ellie "Miss Ellie" instead of "Mrs. Farlow."  Today, Theresa called Ellie "Mrs. Farlow" (in telling her dinner was ready).  I'm glad the servants seem to have learned their manners now, but the writers could at least be consistent. It seems to me that she calls her "Mrs. Farlow" when there's a group of people around or the occasion is more formal, and "Miss Ellie" when they are alone or when there's maybe one or two other family members around. Good point, though.

Episode 220: Thrice in a Lifetime

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 0. [Sad, isn't it?]

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [Courtesy of AHN Anne]

Miss Ellie: "Everything's changing--it's so different."

That's the funny thing about change, isn't it? Always different...

- I was going to make this a trivia question, but I decided it was better as a nit. Did anyone else notice that John Ross and JR, before their little chat about their burgeoning empire, treated themselves to tall cold glasses of "Husky" Cola? Can't the Ewings afford real Coke or Pepsi? Dr. Pepper? Tab? Come on!

- Angelica is more daring than even I imagined! While the reckless mad explosive guy is doing his work, he pauses to put goggles over his eyes while he's attaching an electrical connection. I think it's safe to assume that this must be a particularly dangerous procedure. So why isn't Angelica wearing goggles? Does she really have that much confidence in this guy? Does she know more than he does and knows that he won't blow everything up? Aren't there some insurance issues here? [Kidding about that last one.]

- And speaking of the mad bomber, almost everyone noticed that he didn't reset the pin that sets off the briefcase when he activated the timer. It's possible that there was a cut, or maybe the thing has a safety mechanism of a sort. But it just seemed very odd.

- That stupid adoption counselor either doesn't do her homework or read the wrong report. Today, she repeats Ray's mistake that Mickey Trotter was his nephew, not his cousin. Lame.

AHN Joe Ormata mentioned that once again the receptionists on this show leave a lot to be desired when it comes to their skills.  You must have noticed how Matt was able to walk into J.R.'s office unannounced.  Sort of defeats the purpose of having a receptionist don't you think? Thanks! I missed this at first.

AHN Jason's corner:

- No disrespect to Ben but the man doesn't strike me as the strong type.  He was huffing and puffing all the way through his chat with Ray, Clayton and Jack.. No, he just talks like that...I didn't really see him huffing and puffing, he just has a really breathy voice like Mandy.

- Jamie's plaid jacket doesn't match her red skirt very well... No. It does not.

- Is it wise to give a child soda before bedtime.. especially on what appears to be a school night.   John Ross brings up a big old glass to bed. At least he didn't leave it there to be wasted! I hate when people do that.

- JR tells Sue Ellen that Mandy called his office in yesterday's episode.. I THOUGHT she was the call he received at the Oil Baron's club..  I could be wrong.. (This is admittedly a very small nit) No, you are right. Technically, this is iffy because Mandy probably called the office first and then found him at the Oil Baron's. But I see what you mean.

- Sue Ellen is drinking something in the kitchen at the beginning of the show, when she talks to JR,,  She mentions a nightcap..  I assume non-alcoholic...I assume so too.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When Pam is yelling at Cliff for her treatment of Jamie, she says something like "It's like talking about the weather -- they always complain but never do anything about it."  What can one do about the weather?  Build something in the sky that would prevent snowfall? Well, when you look at the world with Pam's rose-colored glasses...sheesh.

- O.K., so maybe the guy making the bomb for Angelica was crazy, but he asks her about if she remembered her first Fourth of July.  Couldn't he tell from her accent that she was foreign and probably never celebrated a fourth of July?
I think Angelica would have to SAY something before the guy could get a clue about her accent. Actually, as soon as I typed this I realized that Angelica must have said SOMETHING to the guy or he wouldn't know what she wanted - or given her the name of that Mr. Hughes character.

- When John Ross is touring the Krebbs's new house, he asks how many bedrooms will there be.  Donna says four bedroom, and he asks why so many.  Why so many?  John Ross, there must be a lot more at Southfork!
I'm not sure what to make of this. I know what you're saying, and I've just begun to realize what a sheltered life John Ross leads, so he's probably not aware that everyone doesn't live in a huge mansion and have dinner served by maids. On the other hand, he probably figures that Ray and Donna are going to be there all alone. Hard to call.

- I thought that Donna and Ray were putting Tony on the spot by asking him if he wanted to be adopted right in front of John Ross and Charlie (both who would probably like him there).  He might have not really wanted to or had just not yet made up his mind. Interesting point. I hadn't considered that. Of course, if there are any doubts in Tony's mind, I'm sure that all he would have to do is take one look at Charlie and remember her sexy dress from yesterday.

- It seems every time John Ross is done talking to people -- usually his dad -- he says he has to finish his homework.  And it always seems to be at night when he does this.   He must waste a lot of time when he gets home!
Chip off the old block, I bet.

- Angelica seems to have an endless wardrobe.  She came to this country only to kill J.R. and Jack, yet she continues to have new outfits.  She must go shopping during her time off from getting ticked and buying explosives. LOL!

- Just like in many other TV shows, J.R. stopped reading and turned to look at John Ross when he was sleeping.  No one ever looks at anyone when they're awake, but they seem to know when they're asleep. Good point.

- What was J.R. so worried about at episode's end? Was it that the oil wells in the Marinos deal couldn't be uncapped or was it Matt Cantrell stopping by? It might be the former, but he seemed o.k. right after it, and I doubt the later would bother him.   He didn't even seem to want to talk to Sue Ellen, who had something important to say.  There's only one thing important could be, yet he said "can it wait 'till tomorrow?".  He must have been really worried.
I didn't know what to make of this. You're right - it is very confusing.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- When Clayton's looking to hire new workers he says "a hand's no good without a head attached to it".  Now I know what he's TRYING to say (that brawn's no good without brains), but what he ACTUALLY says is rather ridiculous.
Clayton? Ridiculous? You lie! [Just kidding. Of course you're right.]

- I really don't like how J.R says that times are tough economically and then, lo and behold... times ARE tough! I wish they (the writers) would give us some sort of a precursor (like a TV news clip which says that oil prices are falling) as opposed to just having the characters randomly introduce this plot device. That starts with the new season.

- The writers have really dropped the ball with regard to the 700 odd million dollars that J.R seems to have misplaced upon selling his stake in the Marinos deal. If he has the money, than J.R's made a 100% profit on the deal (sold it for 100%, bought it back for 50%). If he doesn't have it, than he's in trouble. So... where's the money? Come on writers, this is a pretty big issue.
Well, he got that big line of credit, and profits are slipping...I'm not sure what to make of that.

- Tony's slipping. He now seems to be anticipating where the voices are coming from, and also he's responding to auditory cues (example: when John Ross speaks to Tony at the Krebbs' Tony turns and looks at him). Very un-deaf like qualities.
Yup. It was just a matter of time. Obviously Solomon Smaniotto is deaf, and the scenes have been rehearsed for his benefit, but we nitpickers don't deal in reality.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Sue Ellen tells Pam that J.R. is "the only man I've ever really loved."   What about Dusty, Sue Ellen?  Or Clint Ogden??  Or Cliff Barnes, even???   Or do they not count because your relationships with them weren't as interesting to the viewers as your relationship to J.R.? (okay, her relationship(s) with Cliff were good plots, but Cliff wasn't as lame as her other extracurricular lovers). I know. This was really very Sue Ellen-ish, and I don't mean that in a good way. It's shades of her old wishy-washy, "I need JR to love me" days.

- So Matt is going on and on about considering himself a loser for most of his life.   Then Pam tells him, "Well, you're not a loser, anymore." Wait a minute, Pam.  Doesn't that statement imply that you agree with Matt, and he was a loser to begin with?  This is almost as bad as your insult to Jock at the Oil Barons' Ball earlier this season.
I hadn't realized that! That Barnes woman can be really subtle sometimes. I caught the bit at the Oil Baron's ball but this one went right over my head. Thanks.

Episode 221: Hello, Goodbye, Hello

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3.

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [Courtesy of AHN Jason]

Cliff:  What did he (JR) mean-You deserve better?
Jamie: I dunno...  

Geez obviously he was slamming you, Cliffy...

- I know Jason will be a bit ticked for this, but I can't resist one last dig at Clayton here. That big ox can't even count! He tells Ben that they've been married for 3 years. Hmm. As Jason himself mentioned, if you do the math...subtract, carry the two...    they've been married for 2 years and one these was a long long dream.....hmmm...I guess time really does go faster on Dallas.

- Ben Stivers confuses me a little bit. When Clayton comes a-callin', he makes an elaborate show of putting that handkerchief around his neck to hide that somewhat gruesome scar. [It doesn't look too bad - but I hate to think of what would have caused that kind of cut in that place.] Anyway, the point is that the first time we see him in this episode, walking around the stables with Clayton, his scarf looks very lazily tied - like it might slip at any moment. The second time, when he meets Punk it's still loose but not too bad.

- And today, the dumb adoption counselor strikes out. Paul Morgan declares that a Texas statute precludes anyone who's been convicted of a felony from adopting a child. Why didn't the adoption counselor point this out instead of leading the Krebbs clan on? Surely she would know this. Instead of just saying so, she just told them that Ray's conviction would make the proceeding 'difficult'. Difficult and impossible are two very different things.

- Where the heck is Sly? I can see that JR gave Kendall the season off to mourn Bobby, and I know that Pam's left Ewing Oil. But why is Phyllis sitting in Sly's chair and doing Sly's work? This makes zero sense, especially in light of something Phyllis says to JR in Season 13.

- Sue Ellen comes to the office to see JR, and he tells Phyllis she can go home. The reunited couple talks for a bit, then Sue Ellen leaves. Then JR leaves after packing up his things. Suddenly it's dark in the secretaries' area! Did Phyllis turn off all the lights, even though she knew JR and Sue Ellen were still there? Or did Sue Ellen do this on her way out?

- Speaking of the happy couple, during the fund-raiser, Sue Ellen and JR danced the whole time! Shouldn't Sue Ellen be DOING something? Like raising funds?

- As Jason pointed out and I noticed, JR asks Mandy to make him a drink. Then he leaves without even taking it from her. Though I've expressed disgust with Mandy in the past, I thought it was really cruel to leave Mandy her holding it.

AHN Jason's corner

- The portfolio of Mandy was very nice but why not include some nudes or wrapped in sheets shots?  Those would entice JR some more (I would assume). Yes, but they couldn't show it on TV. I think the shots we saw were sufficient enough to make Mandy look like a...well, you know.

- The beef at the fund-raiser looked really rare inside..  Considering this is a fancy restaurant and the people there are supporting a research center for the prevention of blood diseases and viruses, you'd think they would be a bit more careful about the possibility of food poisoning...
Kyle mentioned this too. Right on.

- Clayton talks about how Punk wanted to buy in with him and Ray..  What about Jack?   I thought he was a partner yesterday.. (But then again I am sure he was edited out of a few scenes since the next time we see him he is definitely leaving...)
Possible. I think the producers at this point got wind of the fact that the Ramboski was preparing to leave and so made every effort to depush him.

- NOTE- the freaky adoption lady didn't have her glasses today...Must be awaiting the new coke bottle design.

- Speaking of Angelica, she sure is taking her time getting revenge of JR and Jack..   It's been five episodes since Grace was bumped off.  The adoption lady tells the judge she has been working with the Krebbs for months to adopt Tony and I think they started that process AFTER the Martinique incident.....I know this was to build up suspense but still...
Maybe just to catch JR and Jack off guard...I see your point.

- Possible counternit from Mon. night..  Someone said that the police officer was presumptuous to assume that Angelica was Mrs. Barrett.  It may have been on the forged documentation as such.....
It's possible but I doubt Angelica would do that. First of all, think of where she plans to go. Texas. The deep south. Conservative values still run deep down there [especially since she insists on taking two-lane highways instead of the Interstate]. So I would imagine that some people, on seeing her identifying herself as "Mrs. Barrett", would inevitably ask about her husband, right? She could say she's divorced or something, but I would imagine that Angelica wouldn't do something that would invite questions. Hard to say.

- JR dug into Mark's past and found out he could still be held responsible for the death of the pledge if new evidence surfaced.  JR makes a comment like  "So I can still bring him to court" can anyone tell me how JR can bring him to court for this? He can't press charges on Mark and the detective didn't find any new startling evidence to incriminate Mark. Even if it existed, this happened 20 some odd years ago and the trail would be very cold.... Thanks for reminding me. I noticed this the second time I watched but didn't have my laptop handy so I forgot.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I thought it was weird that when the waitress handed the menus out to Mark and Pam she said "you may order whatever you like". Gee, thanks! Then again, maybe she was just trying to be funny. As opposed to ordering from a limited menu? I see your point. Then again, it isn't normal serving hours.

- A rare moment of legal insight on the part of the Dallas writers. I think that whole thing about the "statute of limitations" was actually well handled. Yes it was.

- While I don't like the whole Ray/Donna/Tony thing, I do think that the Tony character was well cast (even though he doesn't appear to be deaf occasionally). One question, though: how do you sign "Help! I only have one hour left to live!!"?
LOL! This is great stuff.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Why is Sue Ellen making such a big deal of asking Pam and Mark if she can take J.R. along to the benefit?  They went to the last benefit. That's right...they did. I completely forgot.

- Yesterday Ben asks Clayton why he sold Southern Cross, yet he asks again today and gets about the same answer.  What gives? I don't know. I guess they don't have enough to talk about.

- Sue Ellen only gives J.R. a kiss on the cheek after asking him to escort her to the benefit.  Yesterday she gave him a really full kiss -- now this sissy thing.  I know she gave him that kiss yesterday to show him she was serious about getting back together, but if she really cares for him, she would have given him a real kiss today too.
Well, what about when they were in bed? I'd say that more than makes up for it.

- Why does Ray say about Aunt Lil, "Her phone is ringing"?  Even if she wasn't home or was asleep, the phone would still be on the hook. I just shake my head when Ray and Donna are on the screen.

- Punk wants to rent the whole LBJ hotel for the big party he's throwing for his wife. Not only are people probably already booked in a good amount of the rooms, but I'm not sure if the hotel would do something like that.  Maybe, but rooms are still probably already booked. Well, remember that these folks are AWFULLY rich. I'll think about this.

- I was confused by the whole Graison Research benefit.  It wasn't an auction, but just a dinner where people could gather and donate money...very weird.  And again they had it at the Oil Baron's.
Yes. Very convenient, in a sense - the producers don't have to be new waitresses to come around and serve drinks. And I noticed that Sue Ellen did a lot more dancing than fund raising.

- Why did the guy from England who talked to J.R. come to the benefit?  I doubt he came just to see J.R., but he didn't seem like planning on donating some money until Sue Ellen or J.R. suggested it. Bizarre. Absolutely bizarre.

- Ray says his adoption trial is going to be in Dallas.  No crap.  I know they don't live in Dallas, but is actual murder trial took place in Dallas, so wouldn't this trial naturally be in Dallas? I'm not too sure - Southfork is in Braddock county, so it's possible the trial could be in Dallas. And what happened today was not a 'trial', just a hearing to see whether the Krebbs's petition for adoption should be reconsidered.

- I find it hard to believe Ray would've gotten a hearing so quickly. Usually there are many other people who want one, plus they never give you a hearing so quickly anyway.
I did too. Of course, the producers know they've only got fifty-some-odd television minutes left for this season.

- The adoption judge looked mighty familiar.  Was he the judge for J.R. and Sue Ellen's recent hearing?
Quite possible. I'll check.

- Jack tells Jamie that ever since he lived in Alaska that if he had money he'd get this car (the one he gave to Jamie).  I remember earlier in the season Jack taking Jamie to look for cars, and he wasn't looking at this one.
Wasn't it? It was red, I remember that. Maybe a different model.

- Before you know it, the Krebbs tell Tony he's theirs.  What happened to the scene where the judge handed down his ruling?  A TNN cut or never filmed? You got it. Snip, snip.

- I don't think the gun that Angelica had in this episode was the one she had a few episodes ago.  It looked smaller and of a slightly different color. I'll check that. You're probably right. It would have been better if she had a hatpin.

AHN Mike's corner:

- I'm probably the only one that noticed but the same band with the same geeky guitar player was back for the Graison Research fund-raiser at the Oil Baron's Club. Must be the house band there. Actually, Joe S. noticed it too.

- My wife and I were hooting during the appeal hearing for the Krebbs' adoption. The lawyer says he will prove by revisiting the Mickey Trotter verdict why Donna and Ray would be loving and worthy adoptive parents for Tony. "Yeah", says me, "as long as Tony doesn't ever go into a coma."

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Well, Sue Ellen must have read the script at the party, because she excused herself from J.R. for no given reason.  Wasn't it convenient, however, that she ran into Jerry Kenderson on the way to where she was going?
Very. It looked like she might have been heading to the ladies room or something.

- Today, Ben Stivers called Ellie "Miss Ellie," yet yesterday, when he first met her, he called her Mrs. Farlow and no one told him to call her otherwise.  What gives? Hmm. A tip off, perhaps?

-  The same-episode cabbageing on Sue Ellen's part was awful today.  At the party, as Sue Ellen and J.R. are getting more intimate, Sue Ellen says she wants to go home.  The next scene with them shows the two of them naked, in bed, and kissing each other.  Then, just in case the viewers have no idea what's going on, Sue Ellen says, "When I came into your bed tonight, and we made love...".  Thanks for clearing that up, hon.  I was wondering about that.  Jeez!
Yeah, I noticed that too but for some reason I thought I'd let it go...maybe for the two or three people in the Ukraine who might not have understood what was going on.

Episode 222: Blast from the Past

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3.

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [Courtesy of some moronic writer.]

Ellie: "How do you like your coffee?"
Ben: "Black."
Ellie: "Good."

HUH? Remind me never to ask for milk and sugar in my coffee.

As usual, the cliffhanger episode is the most nitpicked of the season. I've organized this a little differently because so many of the nits were submitted multiple times. Here we go...

- I was plumb tuckered out after the first five minutes! Angelica and JR's wild ride provided enough fodder for us. First of all, when Angelica met up with him yesterday, he was leaving Mandy's building - it was nighttime or early evening, definitely after the work day. Now suddenly it's broad daylight. I find it hard to believe that Angelica kept JR waiting in the parking lot all night. AHNs Jason and Kyle both caught this as well.

- Angelica tells JR to 'turn right at the light' as her foremost instruction. We see the car turn right - but there are no traffic lights at this intersection. Hmm.

- And after one more indication to turn, the conversation continues. Then JR turns a few more times, without any direction from Angelica. Guess he read the script - or at least the map. AHN Jake noticed this too.

- And I'd like to know why Angelica chose that particular spot to park her car? It's obviously not very close to the downtown area where JR's usual haunts are, such as the Ewing Building or Mandy's apartment building or the Oil Baron's Club. Did Angelica just want to ensure that they would have a long enough ride so they could have their talk? AHN NIS found this odd as well.

- I ain't much of a gardener, so maybe there is a good reason...but why is Ellie putting a plant with a plastic pot into her soil?  Shouldn't she first remove the plant from the plastic container? AHN Anne assures me that she should.

- Ben suddenly remembers his manners. Yesterday, he calls Ellie "Miss Ellie" when she comes out to the stables. Today, she's become "Mrs. Farlow" again. He must be hanging out with Theresa. AHN Joe noticed this too.

- Almost everyone pointed out that Ben didn't drink a drop of the coffee that Ellie so carefully prepared for him. How rude.

- Although it's a moot point now, I must say that moving into Southfork was a really bad wardrobe move for Tony. Donna's a decent dresser - for herself. But for anyone else...no.

- Not a nit, just a comment: shouldn't there be some music when Jamie walks down the wedding aisle as the maid of honor? There normally is.

- Jackie's at the wedding. Phyllis is at the wedding. Hell, even Jenna is at the wedding. Why isn't Sly at the wedding? What is she doing that's so important? Perhaps she's wherever Kendall is.

- The reverend refers to Mark using his full name, including the middle one. Why does Pam not get the same treatment? He refers to her as "Pamela Barnes Ewing". She has a middle name, which I will not reveal right now since it's a current question on the trivia board. This is very odd. AHN Jason caught this as well.

- When did JR get this high-tech phone with the fancy buttons? This is the first time we've seen it. Of course, it looks really cool when he presses the button to call Harry and the boys into his office to drag Angelica away. AHN Jason noticed it too.

AHN Joe S and Carole Rider both wondered why Ben Stivers was so fascinated with that photo of Gary. I can't comment too much because I don't want to spoil anything for anyone, but those in the know will have something to think about.

Rob Frazier wondered about Jack's car itself. Jack's car had to have been worth -- what? -- $50,000 easy, right? (In 1986, that's a DAMNED expensive car; but that's not the point.) For a REAL expensive car, you'd think the manufacturer would have been able to afford to put an actual LOCK on the trunk!   It was so lame how the Mad Bomber was able to PULL A LEVER and watch the trunk just pop open.  Aren't people who are FILTHY STINKING RICH more likely to put outrageously expensive items in the trunk? Maybe I'm just being silly, but I feel the engineers should have thought of this.  I guess the  auto dealer saw Jack coming -- or maybe he just READ THE SCRIPT!
I think the latter is true. This is an interesting point. Thanks! Although AHN Jason points out that some fancy cars do have such a feature. After all, I think engineers are looking to provide people with comfort, not protect them from mad bombers.

From Deranged Clint:

- There is not a forgery out there that can't be discovered. There is always something that can prove it as a fake. JR is facing hard times but he should be able to hire someone who can prove those documents are fake.
You know what? I think this whole handwriting expertise thing is silly. It's just like in court cases - each side finds experts to prove their point, right? One doctor says one thing, another says the opposite. I'm sure that if JR wanted to, he could find a guy who would declare it a fake.

- The great Ray with Tony and the horse scene. Tony calls the horse Trigger, and Ray turns away and mutters -- "Not Original" -- Ray the boy is deaf, you ogre, you don't have to whisper or mutter to him.

- It was mentioned before, but Jack's car that explodes wasn't the car he originally bought. His original car was like Bobby's.
Yes, I thought so.

The explosives guy's corner:

- This part of the plotline has a lot of holes in it. Because of the multiplicity of submissions, I'll outline the major points:

• How did the briefcase bomber get to the wedding?
• How did he get the valet's job?
• When did he hook up the bomb? If he hooked it up at the wedding, why did he have to follow Jack to trigger it? And if he didn't hook it up at the wedding, why did he bother being there and checking out Jack's car?
• If he had control over the bomb, why didn't he wait for Jack to get in the car?
• Jamie's charred body doesn't appear to be in any of the seats. If she was just putting in the luggage, what triggered the bomb?
• How does the guy know where Jack lives?
• And why did he go to Jack's place where he might be spotted or identified?

While I agree that the storyline is full of holes, let me point out a scenario which might make sense.

1. I can't explain how the guy gets to Pam and Mark's wedding, but let's grant that the wedding is common knowledge and news of it would be printed in the papers. It's not a stretch for someone to realize that Jack Ewing will be there.
2. He got the valet's job by 'taking care of' the regular valet. Probably messed up the poor guy's car too, or perhaps a hatpin was used.
3. He hooked the bomb up at the wedding, that much is certain. Here's the key point: you'll notice that when he's checking out Jack's car, he looks at the trunk, not the hood. I think he set the bomb so that it would go off when the trunk was opened.
4. And this explains the rest. Jack didn't get blown up when he drove home because he probably didn't open the trunk. Jamie got blown up the next day because she opened the trunk to put in Jack's luggage. That's why we don't see her charred body in any of the seats. It wasn't an ignition- or heat-triggered bomb - just a mechanical thing that went off when the trunk was opened.
5. He knows where Jack lives because he followed him home, most likely. Why he followed him is a very good question. He doesn't need to be there to set off the bomb [if my explanation is correct]. There is the risk he'll be spotted, of course. But he also doesn't know when Jack or someone else is going to open the trunk. How long is he going to wait? A week? A month? I can just imagine the look on his face if Jamie put the suitcases in through the doors somehow and they merrily rode away.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Just wondering, but if Bobby has been in the shower for some 25 episodes, wouldn't he have experienced a case of major "shrinkage" (a la George Costanza). In retrospect, perhaps they should have put the Big Ramboski in the shower, since he could have weathered a shrinkage problem better than Bobby.
Well, if Pam's reaction is to be believed, maybe the big Boboski is immune to it. And actually it's been 31 episodes...the longest season of Dallas.

- Did anyone notice that in the early scenes Larry Hagman appeared in what was either his own own hair or a less full hairpiece than he wore previously? His forehead was much higher and the hair across the middle was thinner and sticking up.
Kyle noticed that his hair looked much whiter than usual.

- Also, it appeared that JR rushed out of his office at the end and left the two suitcases of money in there to be blown to bits.
Yes, he must have. Of course, he didn't know they were going to be blown to bits.

AHN NIS's corner:

- Looks like JR has very dirty windows-the passenger one at least is filthy. Seems un-JR-ish. Maybe that's why he had his rolled down. Wouldn't there be more street noise when JR and Angelica are talking? And why did she park her car there? Seems like she would be unfamiliar with Dallas to park in such an out of the way location.
I caught this last point. It's very convenient that she parked far enough away for them to have their long talk.

- Ewing magic computers-JR pushes some key in the lower left of the keyboard to change the display. Good call.

- I'm curious as to why Ewing Oil doesn't occupy the top floors of THEIR building. Good question.

AHN Jason's corner:

- There are a whole bunch of new photos on the mantel of the fireplace..Gary, JR and (on the other side of the mantle what looks like Sue Ellen and a couple of other shots..)   I didn't see Lucy and Mitch's but I couldn't be sure.  At least the "Bobby Shot" that has been floating around all season is still there...PS   it is so nice that Ellie has pictures of 'her' boys..  Gary, Bobby and JR and none of Ray..  Nice way to make him feel at home....
John Rettino the propmaster strikes again.

- Just a note..  It looks like Ray and Donna have officially adopted Tony so that means they need a new bedroom at Southfork...  (We may have a tie here...) We've hit the big eleven! Good call. For details, see the tote board..

- Pam sure slept in late; it's got to be 11:30 at least when she wakes up. Granted she certainly had a lot of dreams .......
Yes. At least this is internally consistent, if stupid.

- Sue Ellen says she and JR have been married for 14 years..  When did they first get married..  early 70's...  it is 1986 in this episode...  (at least by air date although in Dallas time it is 1985)
September 15, 1970 was the date of their first wedding. Something is absolutely wrong here.

- When Jack comes out to Jamie's car and sees the horrific fire, I couldn't help but notice that you can see the steering wheel, the front seat, but no body..  You'd think you'd see something.. or they should have shot it at a different angle..
Agreed. I noticed that too but forgot to point it out.

AHN Jake's corner:

- J.R. is a very smart businessman, and I find it hard to believe that without Angelica's help he couldn't uncap those wells and would lose the company.  He should have been able to come up with something on his own.
Well, he had nothing legal. Obviously Angelica has papers indicating that she's in charge of Marinos Shipping and what not, and can overturn Alex's decisions.

- Is J.R. some sort of junior jeweler?  He looked might weird looking at that diamond with the magnifying glass stuck in his eye socket.  Like he would be able to tell high-quality diamonds, anyway. Agreed.

- I remember J.R. buying Sue Ellen a truckload of flowers at the end of the 1982-1983 season, when he was trying to win her back after their divorce. She didn't comment then that there were too many...why now?
Maybe after working as a fund-raiser she's become more money-conscious.

- I'm confused.  Did J.R. just think of getting Sue Ellen this ring or did he notice hers was gone?  And how long did he know it was gone?  Or did she tell him when it was stolen?
This is very confusing. It'll be interesting to see whether Sue Ellen has her NEW ring tomorrow, or her old one back.

- When Tony is petting his new horse, Ray says, "Looks like you've made friends."  No, Ray, it looks like he's petting a horse.  I think it's too soon for the boy and the horse to develop a special bond.
I'm so glad this thing is going to be over for good.

- Why is Angelica staying at a big hotel?  Someone in the city's got to recognize the woman!
You would think so.

- J.R. says the building where Ewing Oil is located will be closed on Sunday.  O.K., so Ewing Oil and most of the other businesses will be closed, but I'm sure there'll be a few people in the building.
Maybe the security guards [snicker, snicker...the Ewings are awfully lax about security.]

- Either Donna or Ray says something about how the others kids (I assume the kids at Southfork) will have a hard time communicating with Tony because they can't do sign language.  Remember, he can lip read!
I think she might have meant the kids who were going to be at the wedding - though I didn't see too many. You might be right. And you're sure right that he can lip read.

- At whose house did Pam and Mark's wedding take place?  It definitely wasn't Pam's house, and I don't think it was Mark's.
I have no idea. Maybe the explosive guy's house! After all, how else would he know where to be?

- Why does Jamie want to show Cliff Sue Ellen's ring?  Doesn't she know he doesn't want to see it and that he doesn't care?
You do. I do. The whole audience does. Jamie does not.

- The preacher says something like "Very good," after he asked if anyone objected to wedding.  I always thought it was "very well." He said 'very well' at the beginning of his shpiel. This is weird.

- Before we cut to J.R. waiting at Ewing Oil for Angelica to show up, we see a shot of the building - with people walking in and out. Did we? Good call!

- Why did Angelica tell J.R. "it's too late!"?  If she wanted Jack to die, she should have kept her mouth shut.
Well, she also wanted JR to die. You're right about keeping her mouth shut, though, unless she wanted to cut a deal with him. This was very sloppy of her - not figuring JR might pull something like having cops around.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- And what of this Saddletree business (aside from the stupid name)? Why does Jack make such an elaborate deal about not selling his stake but rather giving it away? I know he's trying to be noble (in his awkward, Ramboski-esque way), but why not just sell it to them? Its not like they're starved for cash... Well, maybe Clayton is. I know what you're saying though.

- BTW, let's be perfectly honest, Tony was not retarded at all. In fact, after that final conversation with Ray, I think he might even be smarter than that half-breed (kidding!).
If you hadn't said so, I wouldn't have guessed you were kidding.

- And although I found the adoption plotline deplorable, I have to admit it was mighty touching when Tony calls Ray "Dad".
You liked that? It was kind of touching...in a weird sort of way.

- Not that I expected this to be accurate, but the briefcase bomb, which is supposed to have a 7 minute timer, goes off after about 3 minutes.
Yes. Understandable from a real-world point of view, but we don't deal in reality.

- The first time I saw the explosion of the Ewing office I thought "cool". My second thought was "something's not quite right". Fortunately, I taped the episode. If you pause the tape, and then slow the frame rate to "1/30" you can see that a couple of frames have been omitted from the explosion. It shows the Ewing window just before explosion and then it jumps ahead to the point where the windows have already exploded outwards. (Frustrating to explain, better if you try it yourself).
I think I understand what you mean. This probably happened during the original filming.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- This one's kind of iffy, but when Ben enters the Southfork house with Miss Ellie, he is holding a piece of paper.  Yet when the shot becomes interior and shows them entering, Ben's paper is in his back pocket.
I'll look at this again.

- On the establishing shot for Mark and Pam's wedding, the car pulling into the wedding that the camera is following as foreign plates.  Did Mark invite some friends from South of the Border?  Maybe Chief Rueda dropped by!
I didn't notice. Thanks.

- I don't dislike Clayton, but you're right -- he is a dumb ox!  Just when Ray and Donna begin to kiss and become intimately close at the wedding, Clayton comes right up to them and says, "I've lost Ellie already."  Is it any wonder that they ignore him?  At least he [eventually] got the hint and left, though.
Another one for the OX-files.

- I didn't double-check this, so I may be wrong, but when J.R. slips the new engagement ring on Sue Ellen's finger, I believe he puts it on her ring finger (the fourth one), and it appears to be a perfect fit. Yet when Sue Ellen is showing off the ring at the wedding, she has it on her middle finger.
I thought I saw something like this too but figured it was just a weird angle or something. I'll check.

- Earlier this season, it was established that the pictures above the mantle at Jack's place were of a lake that he particularly enjoyed fishing and otherwise spending time at.   Therefore, it is fairly safe to assume he supplied the pictures, and the pictures didn't come with the place (otherwise, it would have been one Hell of a coincidence that he found a place prefurnished with pictures of his favorite lake, and he happened to be there when Jamie had her accident).  So why doesn't he pack these pictures and take them with him when he is leaving his place for good (the pictures can be seen quite distinctly above the mantle in his final scene with Jamie)? Good call!