Season 9 (1986 - 1987)

Episode 223-224: Return to Camelot

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Deranged Clint]

"All my friends would laugh at me." -- Charlie Wade

Hmmmm. Charlie, what friends? You only lived at Southfork for 3 weeks.

- I'll leave the seasonal changes to Jason - except for Pam's new awesome long hair. It's grown six inches. That was some frightening nightmare - not to mention the delayed reaction.

- These two episodes were originally a 90-minute episode, pared down to suit TNN. Consequently, it's so disjointed that nitpicking is difficult. I couldn't find anything at all!

- From Teeffer on the newsgroup: When Pam opened the shower at the end of last season  all the tile was pink.
And now in the first episode of the non-dream Bobby's standing in a white tiled shower. Did they mess up with the sets?
I'm sure that what we saw today was on a different set, after the producers decided on what angle they wanted to use.

Dave O sent in the following: Also in the nit picks of "Return to Camelot" Jake mentions that there was no
scene about Bobby telling Jenna about Pam. I remember this episode very well as I had the tape until about 1988. That scene did in fact occur as Bobby went home to tell Jenna that they would break their engagement and that he was marrying Pam. Jenna was as furious as ever. I think she might have slapped him but I am not sure. Also the scene occurred outside near the stables.

Deranged Clint's corner: [on his way to AHNdom]

- Another thing, I realize that Cliff and Jamie were only in love during the dream -- but before Pam fell in her overnight coma, Jamie had been a shy, country girl with short long hair. Overnight, Jamie gets double long hair and acts like a two-bit hooker. I mean, come on -- I realize that Jenilee Harrison was stereotyped mostly as showgirls and tramps, but this character reversal is too much. That Flashdance outfit was just ridiculous.

- Hmmmm it took 4 episodes to look over the strange loner Ben Stivers. We see Wes Parmalee do everything Ben did in one episode. Sue Ellen too amazes me. It takes Sue Ellen 15 episodes to get sober while Pam is asleep, but it only takes her 1 now. Wow!

- Pam wakes up and the revolving doors are still in Cliff's office. I guess Cliff thinks he is the K-Mart of the oil business.
I didn't notice. Thanks.

- Did Bobby switch to decaf before he married Pam the first time, and switched to regular when he decided to remarry Pam? Bobby is really on a rampage today during the oil explosion scene. He seems tougher than JR at one point. The original Bobby was meek and mild (or milder), where this Bobby is arrogant and vicious. 'I AM NOT GOING TO OPEN THE OIL FIELDS UNTIL I FIND OUT WHO BLEW THEM UP.' He makes this decision all by himself! I realize that Patrick Duffy came back because they promised him a tougher Bobby and I am glad Bobby gets a thicker backbone. Bobby was kind-of tough before, now he is real tough. Hey, don't sweat it. It's just the new improved Bobby.

- My oh my. Charlie is a spunky mature 12 year old. Before Pam goes to sleep, Charlie is about John Ross's size. When Pam is "asleep", Charlie is Jenna's size. When Pam "wakes up", Charlie is Jenna's size and has a chest. Where is that red dress now? I guess its still in the stores since Pam dreamed it up. Please find it. PLEASE!

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Today's episode seemed full of sudden jumps from scene to scene. At first I thought we were witnessing a change in the Dallas filming process. Later, however, I realized that the season premiere for 86' was a 90 minute episode, so I guess they had to make a lot of cuts. That said, I thought I read somewhere that TNN decided to cut the episode up into two (guess not).
I honestly don't know what was going on here. I can confirm that what we saw today was the remnants of two episodes [223 and 224, which are supposed to be parts I and II of 'Return to Camelot'.]. That said, the first two episodes of last season were supposed to be Parts I and II of 'Rock Bottom' and they were shown as two distinct episodes. I don't get it. It was very jumpy, no question.

- First Instance of Pam's Apparent Clairvoyance: Ray and Clayton's foray into the field of horse cutting.
Yes. At least they were nice enough to start it from scratch and it looks like the Ramboski's been left out of it.

- Second Instance of Pam's Apparent Clairvoyance: The oil industry is in serious trouble. I don't remember hearing anything about OPEC pre-dream. (Although it was nice to see the inclusion of J.R reading about the problems in the paper as opposed to having him just say "we're in trouble").
Yup. And don't forget the third instance of PAC: Wes Parmalee.

- When J.R calls the meeting of all the field managers for 11 AM, it's clearly morning outside. This means that J.R gives his field managers just a couple of hours to arrive in Dallas. But wouldn't Ewing Oil have fields clear across Texas? And since Texas is such a big freakin' state, isn't it illogical to assume that all (or even the majority) of the managers would arrive in time?
Yes. This is very silly.

- Cliff's whole "that's your brother" thing with Jamie confused me. I'm pretty sure Cliff's met Jack before. No. Actually not formally...I checked the summaries and Jack and Cliff never met face to face. Jack came to Cliff's apartment to see Jamie when the news of Bobby's death was heard - but by that time the dream had already started.

- Why does Cliff look so confused when J.R finally announced that the women he was referring to was Donna? "She was married to one of the great politicians of our time... was on the TEC... has a stepson who's a senator..." Gee, who could it be? Cliff sure would suck at Clue. Agreed. This was comical.

- Furthermore, when does Donna agree to be the lobbyist? I realize that TNN has to cut some scenes, but the last time we see Donna she appears to be set against going to Washington. Kind of takes away from the show's credibility. Yes it does.

AHN Jason's corner:

- First I will just mention the Curse of the New Season Hair Do's is in full effect...

  • Pam had very short red hair before the Dream... When she wakes up, it is shoulder length...
    And sexy as hell! If my wife has hair like this, I will die a happy man.
  • Jenna had the short straight hair -Now she has the longer permed look...
  • Sue Ellen had (I believe) very dark hair and short when she started drinking near the end of 7th Season... Now it is longer and lighter- reddish....
  • Jamie also has longer, lighter,  more teased hair and dresses like a teenager....
  • Donna's hair seems a bit longer than it was in 85....(I guess longer hair back coming back into style...)

EVEN JR has what looks like less of a frontal toupee.  His bangs in front look like real hair combed from the back, instead of the artificial clump the toupee give the hair on his forehead.   (This natural look was seen at the end of the dream...)

-  Dusty was seen at the very end of the 7th Season.  but is nowhere to be seen now that Pam has woken up.. The same with Katherine...  (I sent my theories on these two earlier....) Katherine can be explained, I suppose, by not showing up at Pam's place, just seething with her tomato juice. Dusty will take more of an explanation.

- Speaking of old living places...  Mandy is not in her 7th season apartment but rather in the Hot Tub place that JR bought her in the dream....  Also Jenna moves out of Southfork into a house somewhere-  Why doesn't she just move back into her condo..   It looks better than the place she chose... Yeah, I made of note of looking for this. The only thing that remains in my mind is whether Sue Ellen has her old wedding ring or the new one.

- Why doesn't Sue Ellen want Pam and Bobby to get back together?  Friendship feelings for Jenna?  Hatred of all Ewing men because of what JR has pulled on her? At least they acknowledged she was drinking again, although her sudden 'I won't drink because I hate JR" motto was a bit of a stretch...  Great campy lingerie scene though..   Like something Alexis would do on Dynasty..... That was an awesome scene. I don't know why Sue Ellen thinks Bobby is making a mistake... especially after she just had dinner with he and Pam. This makes little sense.

- Kendall is back and the outer offices of Ewing Oil look lighter and different.. Yes. Different lens filter, I think.

- The same goes for the inside of the bedroom hallway at Southfork... Yup.

- Pam says something about Cliff liking Bobby...since when???? He and Bobby have always been civil...sort of. I know what you mean.

- JR's over at Mandy's place and they discuss the dismal future of the oil industry. JR resolves to do something about it and calls Sly to arrange a meeting of all his field managers for 11 AM that morning. Ok  11:00 am  THAT morning. But in the last episode of the previous season...  Pam woke up at 11:30 in the morning..  I remember commenting that she sure slept in late....This is a good one.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Ah, the living room is the same as in yesterday's episode, except the chairs have magically turned red. Really? Didn't notice. The question is whether they were red in Episode 191.

- I find it very hard to believe that J.R. wouldn't come out to the field if it was on fire. Maybe there was a cut here. Bobby telling him he's got it under control.

Episode 225: Pari per Sue

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 4

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle:]

Sue Ellen: "I've stopped drinking. I've realized what my problems are...[proceeds to enlist them]."
Ellie: "You can't do that if you're drinking!"

Pay attention, Ellie! She just said she's stopped drinking!

- I don't know if JR was just trying to make a point or something, but he certainly seemed perturbed that Ellie's special dinner was delayed. However, Bobby and Pam walk in about five minutes later and then Teresa comes in and says that dinner is ready. So it wasn't ready at the 'proper' time?

- Speaking of the special dinner: where are John Ross and Christopher? Are you telling me that Pam would come to Southfork to have dinner without her uggie-wuggie snookums?

- When Cliff has his 'problem', he asks Jamie, "Hasn't this happened to you before?" Um, Cliff, hate to break it to you, but your wife is female. It CAN'T have ever happened to her.

- Now here is a true nit. If you have this episode taped, look at the date on Sue Ellen's check. If you look at a calendar, you'll find that this day was a Sunday! How did Sue Ellen happen to get a cashier's check made up on a Sunday? Not only this, the implication is that the she got the Valentine's catalogue, got the check made, and went over to buy the business all on the SAME day. How in the world can this make sense?

- Tory Humphries submitted: Bobby and the Foreman were supposed to be in Midland ....yet while walking downtown they pass by a store front that says COLLIN COUNTY Real Estate. Collin County is just outside Dallas..In the Plano, Richardson area. Thanks for this!

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I must question Sue Ellen's routine. She was lifting at least 30 pounds and was doing something like 30 plus reps!! That's a workout I'm not familiar with. Also, she was flailing her arms fairly violently while lifting, that's not very healthy (could tear a muscle). No..her technique wasn't very good. But I think you will like the new improved Sue Ellen.

- Bobby says to Wendell that J.R deserves to be at the meeting because he owns half of Ewing Oil. Actually, no. He owns 3/10's of Ewing Oil (but I think I know what Bobby was trying to say). Yes, you're right.

- And what of the big "I". Seems as though the word is on the writers taboo list (along with "abortion"). I'm all for the various euphemisms used to avoid the actual issue, but come on, lets say it together, Cliff is... SUFFERING FROM PERFORMANCE ANXIETY! I used the words 'ouble-tray with his enis-pay'. [A la Al Bundy.]

- Did anyone else think that J.R's car was going to collide with Mandy's? He sure seemed to be going fast! That would have been wild (and, from my perspective, horrific). Yeah, this was weird. I didn't get it.

- It seems as though the Ewings get there mail fairly early out at Southfork (I usually get mine early to mid- afternoon, between 12 and 2). Yeah, Anne commented about this before. Strange.

- All right, say I'm Ray. I've just picked up a whole huge load of horses, so what's my next logical step? Why, pay a visit to my dear friend Jenna, of course! It makes perfect sense! No, wait... This was just dumb, dumb, dumb.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Angelica Lives!!!!   Did anyone catch Sue Ellen's bright clashing dress at the lingerie shop...yikes...
Other than the dress she looked awesome.

- Why would a reporter call up Donna at Cliff's office?  She doesn't work there...   Is there any reason they would assume that she is there? I missed this. You're right.

- What is up with Ray's  "You will never like me because I am a loser" speech to Donna?  Just yesterday (episode wise)  he was all excited about his baby and only a few days earlier  aka pre dream..  he found out about the baby and I thought was committed to working it out with Donna. I don't know. Ray is stupid.

- Is it normal to have a telephone on the top floor of a parking garage out in the open, without a booth to protect from the elements. Seemed kind of far fetched to me. Yet, Mandy makes a call to JR from one on the top of the parking garage...
The fact that it is boothless is a nit. Good one.

AHN Jake's corner:

- I'm not quite sure, but it sounded like Bobby called the receptionist "Kenall" instead of "Kendall". I'll check.

- When Donna says something about "up on the hill", Cliff says, "What hill?". She responds with "Capitol Hill".  I know Cliff's stupid, but wasn't he a district attorney? He's now become a total buffoon. This is ridiculous.

- Today at the Oil Baron's Club, Dora Mae says something to Cassie like "wait on that table."  She never said that before, plus, it was the Ewings...Cassie always waits on them. Agreed. I noticed this too.

- How would Wes know about Gary and his living in California? The only time he could have been told that was during the dream season when he (actually, Ben) had coffee with Miss Ellie.
Surprising how much he has learned. I'm not too sure what to make of this.

- Mandy's choice to phone J.R. from the rooftop was very odd and stupid. If she was scared and thought someone was trying to kill her, why go to a deserted place?  If I were her, I'd phone him from a restaurant or something.
Good call. I wonder what Kyle thinks about this.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Jamie has to have delivered one of the best unintentional lines in all of Dallas in this episode. With Cliff unable to raise the oil rig and continue drilling operations since the honeymoon, Jamie offers him comfort by saying "Don't worry, Cliff. Everything is going to straighten out." Pure philosophical Viagra!
Yeah, this is a good one! Thanks.

- Ah, the arrival of the suitably sleazy Mr. Valentine. Did you notice he had a big sweat stain under his armpit and either a sweat or coffee stain on his chest? It looked like he'd been wearing that shirt all week.
I didn't want to look that close. I was too busy nitpicking Sue Ellen's check.

-Maybe I've mentioned this before but it looks like Jack Ewing has never taken a comb to his hair. It is a real rat's nest. Plus it is now two-tone - a light brown on top and much darker along the sides.
I believe you have mentioned it before but you're still absolutely right.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- I had this nit before.  The opening establishing shot is the same as was used the last time I pointed out a re-use of establishing shots. You can tell by the multicolored bus that goes left and the small right truck that says "MANHATTAN" that goes right.
I'll have to watch for this. Thanks.

- Bobby's office buzzer sounds different...Didn't notice. Good one.

- Also in the exercise room, Sue Ellen does her weightlifting exercises very quickly, and is thus doing them improperly.  My mother works out every morning at the gym, and I know through her that fast weightlifting actually does more harm than good.
Yes, Kyle commented on her poor technique in flailing her arms as she lifts.

- Why does Theresa whisper to Miss Ellie that dinner is ready?  She usually announces it to the entire family. Agreed.

Introducing AHN Clint's corner:

- Does JR's hair color keep constantly changing? In the first scene he seems to have thick, dark hair. During the Sue Ellen scene at the Oil Barons it seems to be light gray and not as thick. It changes a lot during these years. Hard to tell what's going on.

- Ray is a complete idiot! He is tempted by Jenna, yet he begs his wife to come back and be his wife, after telling her that he no longer wanted her to be the one that loved him. I used to like Ray, even after you started your half-breed stuff. However, now I am in agreement. I told you. I told you all. No one believed me. Not about Clayton. Not about Mandy. But I was right about them all.

- Was it me, or did Patrick Duffy almost burst out laughing during his scene with Pam in the office, right before the scene ended? Take a look at it. Was he just doing a good job of being upset, or did that seem more of a smirk at the end?
I'll check. Didn't notice.

- Today and Yesterday: Jack Ewing seems to be the only character that didn't wake up. All of a sudden this jerk is Cliff Barnes's best friend. Then again, money can talk a good deal. Yeah, I agree.

- Is Sue Ellen hiring a dumb PI really a nit this time? It seems to be she hired the cheap PI, so JR would find out his wife was trying to trace his steps. While, JR is focused on the PI -- Sue Ellen can take over Valentines and Mandy Winger's life. Seems brilliant! You could be right...I'm withholding judgment for now because I forgot how this plays out. I can't remember how Sue Ellen uses the information, or whether she even does or not.

- During the end of the Ray/Jenna scene with Charlie running off with the biker dude, you hear Jenna scream "Charlie" but -- A. Her lips don't move, and B. If they do move, her facial expressions don't match her tone. I'll check this.

Episode 226: Once and Future King

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 4

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle:]

Donna to Cliff: "We knew it was going to be expensive; not cheap".
Yes, it's funny how expensive things tend not to be cheap. A fairly redundant sentence (hers, not mine).

And courtesy of yours truly:

Jenna to Pam: "I thought you were my daughter."
Would that be Charlie, your only daughter? She's met Pam before. Or is there another daughter we don't know about?

- As AHN Joe has been pointing out, for the third straight day we've been treated to the same establishing shot as the guest tarts are introduced. That same truck with 'Manhattan' written on the side goes by.

- Oh, no. Oh, no. I thought we left this one behind a long time ago. Did anyone else get the willies when Pam came over to Jenna's house and they started playing that annoying, pathetic music that we heard back in Season 2 every time Pam was sad? I hate that stupid music.

- Maybe it was just me, but I thought that Pam's voice sounded dubbed when she was talking to Jenna.

- Cliff is using a fork to eat Chinese food? For someone who eats it all the time, this seems very odd. Shouldn't he have graduated to chopsticks some time ago?

- It's somewhat more understandable after today's ending, but Wes Parmalee refers to the lady of the ranch as "Miss Ellie." That's a no-no, Wes. She's Mrs. Farlow to you, especially after you just referred to Clayton as "Mr. Farlow". [But maybe not for long...]

- Okay, so Pam convinced Bobby to go to Midland and meet with Mr. Scottfield. Fine. That's just what I'd expect from Pam. But, WHY, OH WHY did Bobby bring Pam with him? Talk about dead weight. What is she going to do? [That question is entirely rhetorical - I know what she's going to do. She's going to stand around and look pretty. Or concerned, as the situation calls for it.]

- JR is rather melodramatic at the end of this episode when he threatens the hapless private eye. He tells him that if he ever bothers Mandy again, he'll get his 'private security' to take care of him. What private security would that be, JR? The security that allowed you to get shot by Kristin? The security that allowed several people to enter your hospital room while you were recuperating? The force that keeps strangers and intruders off of Southfork? That prevented Katherine from climbing up the elevator and shooting Bobby? That kept Angelica Nero from coming to your office on that fateful Sunday in Pam's dream?
You get the idea. This concept of Ewing personal security is a joke. I can only assume that JR is just trying to scare the detective because he sure as hell has no personal security.

- I had to watch this a third time to be sure. Look carefully at the final scene, with Ellie in Wes's room. Ellie picks up the mysterious belt buckle and a bracelet is clearly visible on her right wrist. We then cut to a close-up of the buckle - no bracelet. The rest of the scene, the bracelet is there. Interesting.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- The horribly bad private eye strikes again! First, he places himself, quite inauspiciously I might add, among the cars at the dealership. Later, he trails about 4 feet J.R and Mandy, way to be secretive! Oh man, this guy is hilarious!! This guy defines incompetence and has inspired a new tote board category.

- The whole thing with J.R approaching the detective at the dealership was just plain weird. Mandy points the guy out, and then J.R walks towards him. He walks for at least 15 seconds and it looks as though the detective is about 40 feet away from Mandy. As J.R talks to the detective, Mandy seems to take two or three steps in their direction. Then, after the detective leaves, Mandy speaks to J.R as if he was right next to her (which he clearly isn't or at least shouldn't be). Quite strange.
This was very strange. I have to watch it again.

- What of those masks anyway? Why the hell would you have models covering their faces during their auditions? This isn't CATS!! Bizarre.

- And if there's a more ridiculous (not to mention paradoxical) catch phrase than "trash with class", I don't want to know about it. Okay. But the vast majority of us will probably agree that this describes you-know-who to a T.

AHN Jason's corner:

- It is a long shot, but it looks like there is a swimming pool in the fountain below the building where the oil meeting occurs....  kind of weird unless they are homeless people out of work because of the raising cost of oil who need a bath...!!!!!!
I'm not sure if it's a swimming pool or just some decorative thing. Jason confirms it's a pool because there are actually people swimming in it.

- Jack walks into Cliff's office with a cup of coffee that presumably Jackie gave him...   OK, fine..  but this suggests that he was waiting outside for a few minutes at least...  so why does Jackie then decide to interrupt Cliff's lunch?  Either announce him earlier or wait until Cliff is done gobbling his Chinese food....
I noticed this too. I wasn't sure how to put into words, but I definitely was disturbed by Jack holding a coffee cup. Thanks for noticing too and saving my brain the strain.

- Why would Jenna assume that Charlie would ring the doorbell to her own house? She keeps calling out for her when Pam comes to visit, assuming that Pam is her.... Good call. You're right.

- Donna and Ray have another of their boring marriage in trouble talks. This one kind of scared me...  She says something to the affect that she won't leave the baby lying around somewhere in Washington...   I assume that she is kidding.... but that brings up another point....  How long is she going to be gone..  She isn't that far along in the pregnancy  (barely looks it...) but it sounds like she is planning on going away for months.
I really can't bring myself to be interested. I don't know what's up with this.

- Why would Wes leave those artifacts lying around his place in plain sight....Even the desk drawer is open!!  you'd think he'd be a bit more discreet....especially since he was so careful about hiding the things when he was "Ben"
Yes. The belt buckle is one thing but the open drawer is a bit too much.

- Why is Sue Ellen at the model search?  I know she is the 'owner' of Valentine Lingerie but if Mandy was to be there and saw Sue Ellen, she would know something fishy was up ....  If Sue Ellen knew Mandy wouldn't be there, why bother having the search to begin with?  Simply just tell the guy that she 'found' the perfect girl and wants to hire her... Why waste everyone's time? Yes, I agree, and everyone else pointed this out too. I think this was just so she could have a scene where she could call Mandy a slut in every possible way without using the word. And it allows Linda Gray to say the word 'sex' in every other sentence..

- Why doesn't Phyllis simply call security when the wife of the bomber comes calling on Bobby and refuses to leave.....
You are assuming that the Ewing building *HAS* security. If it does, this would be the first inkling of its presence.

The much anticipated return of AHN Anne's corner:

- First of all, did you notice how Bobby promised Pam the best lunch she had had all day? What? How many lunches does Pam have in a day? Did he say that? I totally missed it. I'd guess that Pam probably has one hearty lunch a day - she's certainly no waif.

- Secondly, when J.R. threatened Sue Ellen's detective: "Then you won't be following us because your legs won't be working, if you catch my meaning." Whoa, J.R.! That went right over my head! Who could possibly comprehend that meaning? :)
Good call. Of course, I think JR realizes he has to dumb it down a bit because this guy is so darn incompetent.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When Pam goes to see Jenna, she says something like "Sorry, I meant to call first."  Then why didn't you, Pam?  Oh, I really don't like to complain about Pam... I know what you mean. Pam just has a habit of being annoying sometimes.

- I find it hard to believe that Cliff would already have a check made out for Jack when Jack made it clear he didn't want to sell.  Why would Cliff be expecting him? This whole thing made no sense at all. Cliff shouldn't be expecting him because he's busy eating lunch.

- Boy, Jenna seems to have got her new house in order...even though she just moved in. Yes, it is surprising.

- That woman who's husband is in jail said to Bobby when he arrived that she sensed his coming.  Then she said that word got around.  Well, which one? You're right...I hadn't even thought of that!

Episode 227: Enigma

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Anne:]

"I'm so tired I can't even drink the champagne." - another Mandy-ism.

- Mandy says she wants to 'get out' for a change when JR suggests they stay in for the evening. Why? They've been nowhere but out lately. We always see them eating at a restaurant or just leaving one. That's why the Huckstead guy has been able to follow them.

- Bobby asks Sly if JR is in the office. Well, Bobby, rent a clue. JR's door is open. He MUST be in.

- The establishing shot of the photography studio where Mandy's seductive modeling session occurs is recycled from Season 4. It was the same shot used for Roger Larson's studio.

- I'm sure Clint will have more to say about this, but why in the world did the waitress at the tavern give Ray a glass with his beer? This sure doesn't look like the kind of place where the clientele uses glasses to drink. Especially a clod like Macho Man Ray.

- There's a continuity error during the pool scene. Sue Ellen's towel instantaneous goes from drying her hair to resting by her hip.

The Wes Parmalee corner:

- I don't know what to make of Wes Parmalee at this point. Obviously he's doing everything in his power to convince Ellie and now Punk that he's Jock Ewing. But some things he says seem out of place. First, he tells Ellie "All the boys found [in South America] was my medallion." How in the world would he know this if he was the real Jock? Was he watching from the forest as Bobby came out of the lake holding the medallion in his hand?

Anne asked: How did Miss Ellie get all of Jock's things? She took the letters with her, but not anything else. And footnote: Jock's belt and her letters were discolored when she showed them to Punk. How did that happen?
We only saw two or three of the letters...this is a tough call. You're correct about the other items though.

Anne also asked: Like Wes would have the hair rinse sitting by itself on a table. Shouldn't the writers have had him look for it with his other things? That was just lame. Heartily agreed. I can't believe I missed this.

Jason asked: It looks like Ellie is going through a sack of stuff that belonged to Jock that she took from Wes...  Where did the sack come from?  She grabbed that stuff with her hands and then left his room...
I'm not sure. I think it was the sack that the letters were in. I'll look again.

Jake said: Wes is supposed to meet Ray at a tavern.  Yes, Jock might know where the tavern would be, but would Wes?  It doesn't seem like the kind of place he'd be hanging out, anyway.
Yes, but Ray would. And maybe Ray picked a tavern near Wes's hotel. That would be my guess.

Jake also said: The whole meeting at the tavern was pointless.  If Wes wasn't planning to tell Ray, then why did he meet Ray just to tell him to ask Miss Ellie.  He could have told Ray that over the phone. Ah, but then we couldn't have seen his thick mane of white hair. I see your point, but I think he Wes just wants to make a point with Ray.

Clint summarized it as follows:  This episode gives me ammo on both sides of the fence. Is he Jock, or isn't he Jock. Let me just break down the scenes for today.
1. The opening scene with Ellie and Wes. I felt maybe he could be Jock, but I thought Wes shouldn't have said that crap about how Ellie and he had a magic between them.
2. The hotel scene with the bottle of shampoo. Why would Wes want to take the dye out of his hair, unless he wants people to think he is Jock Ewing. I would of thought that Wes would have left town by now if he really was Jock. Like I said before, the real Ben Stivers from the dream was silent and proud -- this guy tries to act proud -- but I just see Wes as a depressed man. Its possible at this point they still could have sold him as Jock, but this scene makes me think. If he didn't want people to think he was Jock, why get rid of the dyed hair?
3. The scene with Ray at the bar. Again, why would Wes do this unless he wanted Ray to think something funny was going on. This was a setup. That belt buckle was too easy to find, along with the open drawer. No real man trying to hide up his past would do this.
4. The scene with Punk Anderson makes me think -- this man is either Jock, or knew Jock very well.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Alright, alright! I think that we've already established that Cliff is very cheap. That said, the business about him needing 2 million dollars is just silly. Yes, he's cheap, but I'd like to think he could cough up a measly 2 mil to seal the deal with Jordan Lee. He says it's just a cash flow thing...tough call.

- Oh my God, Oh my God! Tell me that modeling scene with Mandy wasn't hot! I dare you. From a purely physical and sensual standpoint, I agree. She has great legs. The only thing that kind of turned me off was...Mandy. [Sorry man, got to be honest.]

- Do lobbyists make a habit of having committee meetings in their hotel bedrooms? That seems awfully strange, and yet there's Donna, doing just that. This was totally bizarre.

- When Sue Ellen speaks to Pam, she says she's 1) "not with another man" and 2) "not having an affair". It seems to me that statement 1 would rule out statement 2 (unless they're trying to show that she's not a lesbian).
I think I know what Sue Ellen's trying to say but it comes out really weird.

- When Mandy makes her big speech about not being a kept woman, I swear she's reading her lines right off of a cue card. At one point her eyes seem fixated on something just beyond the camera. Agreed.

- I just love the bar scenes on Dallas. The patented "what'll you have?" followed quickly by the response of "beer". And the customer (in today's episode, Ray) always gets their generic bottle of beer. If it were me, I think I'd be upset about only drinking one brand of beer my entire life! I know there's a conflict with corporate logos and stuff, but man, can't they just make up a couple of brands?

- Some very poor voice dubbing today. First when John Ross asks when he can see Charlie again. That entire scene was quite clearly dubbed. Secondly at the very end of today's episode. Voices seem to be flying from every which way, but not from the actor's mouths. These disembodied voices are starting to freak me out!

AHN Anne's corner:

- And what was up with Donna's meeting? She comes in the door, tired as all hell, and then a bunch of people waltz in without knocking or anything. That seemed bizarre, especially since we couldn't hear them coming.
Lameness in a Donna storyline? You lie! :)

- Mandy's cell phone turned off just by pushing down the antenna. My cell phone requires the user to press the "off" button. Hence, Mandy's phone is a fake! Actually, it's just a regular cordless phone. I had one of these a few years ago.

- When Clayton and Ray followed Miss Ellie from the breakfast table, wouldn't you think that they were going to talk to her a little more about Wes? Instead, Clayton and Ray asked her separately about what was going on. Sheesh, did they just leave to cool off or what? This was very strange.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I think this may have been a TNN or other type of cut but Ellie and Ray's scene in the living room seemed to end abruptly....
Yes. Probably a cut.

- Raoul speaks!!!!  It least they call him Raoul... I assume it is...Well, Clayton calls him "Rawl", but you're right.

- Mandy's phone picks up on one ring as it did in the 7th season..  good continuity but still makes it hard for her to get a call even if she wanted to... She must have a weird relationship with the phone company. That's my guess.

- Sue Ellen sure doesn't look too well hidden at the photo shoot. They could have made her hiding spot more realistic....
I thought so too, but I didn't know what to make of it.

- My pet peeve struck again..  Jordan maybe took a mililiter of a sip out the the big glass of water Jackie gave him. Wasteful.
I didn't notice that.

- Jack's new red car is different than his other red cars...  It's a convertible...Good point.

- How long was Jock in South America?   Seems like Ellie wrote him a lot of letters....  Also the return address has no zip code. Jock was in South America from the beginning of the fourth season [Episode 78] till the news of his death [Episode 89]. It's unclear how much time passes here. Maybe Southfork has its own zip code, or maybe Ellie figured it wasn't a big deal to put the zip on a return address. I've heard stories that such mail can be delivered properly under the right circumstances.

- Donna takes off one of her earrings and places the receiver in that ear when she gets her messages.   When she hears it is Ray that called, she places the receiver in her other ear but does not take out that earring....  Kinda strange but I guess she can do it if she wants.... That is strange. Didn't notice.

AHN Clint's corner:

- I have to admit that Jen Harrison is a beautiful woman, but for God's sake a evening gown during the afternoon? This isn't the Jamie Ewing we remember (I keep on saying that, don't I?) from before Bobby's death or the one during the dream, this Jamie Ewing is very much "trash with class". Was it really an evening gown? Looked like a spiffy dress, but evening gown is pushing it.

- Let us say I am Ray Krebbs (Oh God!), and I invite my friend Jenna and her daughter over to my house for dinner. When they show up, I decide to walk over to Miss Ellie's to talk to her about Wes Parmalee. Of course, I tell Jenna to make her self at home and to answer all my phone calls. You're right.

- How could John Ross and Charlie get so close in only three weeks at Southfork? Don't know.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When Donna is in her hotel room, the phone rings; it's the front desk to tell her she has messages.  I know it's 1986, but I saw that light on the phone.  Usually it blinks when you have messages. The blinking is relatively new. I don't know what to make of this.

- If Mandy doesn't have enough energy to drink champagne, then how does she have enough energy to go out to dinner?
Good point.

- When Miss Ellie goes to meet Punk, he is already sitting at the table. Yet he only orders his drink when she does.  I usually see him and others already with a drink. Maybe he just arrived a minute ago too. It's a good point.

- Miss Ellie and Punk just got out of there car and went right to Wes's motel room.   How did they know which room?
Probably checked at reception. If it has rooms as high as 411, it must be a fairly big motel. I'll think about this.

Episode 228: Trompe L'Oeil

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 2

- The scene where JR talks to 'Wes Parmalee' was almost certainly shot last season. Steve Forrest definitely looks like Ben Stivers here - the hair is shorter, the beard is more abrupt. I'm convinced.

- Clayton's sweat stains are weird. When he talks to Parmalee, on his back, the spots on his blue shirt are in the shape of a "Y". How did this happen? Mike and Jason both added that when Clayton turns around at the end of this conversation, the stain is in the shape of an "I". I guess he got so hot during his battle with Wes that some of it evaporated.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- By and large, J.R is a brilliant businessman, but he does occasionally have lapses. Today's episode provides one such example. Does he really think that this mercenary mission he has set up with B.D Calhoun will be one that is free of consequences? If he does, then he's being hopelessly naive. This whole thing is most assuredly going to blow up in his face...
I made a promise to Joe. I cannot comment.

- Last time I checked, duffel bags don't make such a great floatation device. The type of duffel bag I am familiar with is one that is made of canvas. Not sure what the density of canvas is, but it's safe to say that it's not the most buoyant substance in the world. The only way a duffel bag would float is if it contained Jock's water wings. Good call.

- Let's face it, Bobby wussed out on his initial visit to Parmalee's motel room. While his morals may prevent him from striking an old man, he certainly could have done more than idly threaten "you'd better leave town".
Yeah, this was a disappointment. At least he could have threatened to 'tear him apart' or something.

- Again with J.R and the idle, violent threats. This is third time in less than 3 weeks that we've seen J.R allude to resorting to violence to solve a problem (Kenderson, Private Eye and Parmalee). Simply put, these threats of violence are not consistent with J.R's modus operandi (mainly extortion) and are hence not consistent with J.R's character. Shame on the Dallas writers for this glaring inconsistency of late (just don't sic Steve Kanaly on me!). You are right. I guess it's all part of a tougher, meaner Dallas.

- Um, did I miss something? Ewing Oil has begun to buy up some smaller companies, yet as far as I know, they have not obtained a loan to do so. Maybe these companies were so small they didn't need it. Or perhaps a TNN cut.

- Now, about the divorce hearings (no doubt a hot nitpicking topic today). I've got a couple of problems with it. First of all, while it's not unheard of for one party not to be present during the proceedings (if it's a straightforward divorce, this is not unlikely) this does not mean that the absentee party is not informed about what transpires during the hearing. I'd like to beleive that Jack had legal representation for his divorce. Yet Jack seems to know nothing of the settlement, umm, okay?!? Next, if April was a money-grubbing woman (which, apparently, she is) Jack probably would NOT have missed the divorce proceedings (for fear of being somehow rooked). Finally this 5 year, 50% of income thing is news to me, seems as thought the typical settlement involves a lump sum monthly payment. Frankly, the entire divorce issue was quite frustrating...
I wish we had a law student or somebody in our AHN crowd. I never know what to make of these things. I'm sure you're right about all of this, but it would be good to have an expert opinion.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Why did they check for J.R.'s identification when he was inside the camp? If he had to take the man's helicopter, they would have checked for identification before he got on the helicopter.
They probably did. These guys don't seem like the type to take any chances, so there are probably several security checks.

- Isn't it interesting how Pam doesn't find it weird that the Ben in her dream and the Wes in real life are exactly alike?  I know nothing really happened with Ben in the dream season, but still, he was a suspicious-acting newly-hired ranch foreman.
She probably doesn't remember that part of her dream. [Convenient :)] Jason points out that Pam never dreamed herself meeting him, though.

- Wes says that after his accident, the people in South America didn't care if he was a Ewing.  But if Wes didn't know he was a Ewing, then how did he assume they didn't care? I'll have to hear his story again. You're right.

AHN Jason's corner:

- This one goes back to that check that you mentioned earlier....In episode 2 of this season, Sue Ellen gives the Valentine Guy a check cut in 1986....Wait a minute.. since the 1985-1986 season was dreamed off, shouldn't the date be fall of 85?    I would think this would have been considered in when they dropped a whole season of plots..... 

- This last one is about Jack and April..  First, shouldn't he have been given the new divorce papers with the judge's hold on his earnings before this point...  Even if they allowed April to get this  (sounds pretty illegal) if Jack was not there to hear this decree, I would have thought the court would send out someone to give him the papers through registered mail...  To have his ex- wife just drop them in his lap is unlikely and seems like a conflict of interest....
Kyle suggested something like this but Jack probably had no fixed his own admission, he drifted for quite a while before settling in Dallas. As long as April shows that she made every reasonable effort to inform Jack, it would probably hold up in court. [I see your point as well as Kyle's - it seems too contrived.]

Episode 229: Territorial Imperative

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [I found this one myself.]

Donna: "Are you having an affair with Jenna?"
Ray: "You mean, am I sleeping with her?"

'Nuff said.

- Alice Hirson, who plays Mavis Anderson, is listed in the closing credits but does not appear.

- Jamie's an awfully daring girl. She's got something on the stove and goes to answer the door without turning it down. I know she's expecting Jack, but what if it were a pushy salesman or something?

- I want to know where JR gets his gas. The grease monkey who fills up his car and checks his oil does it in about thirty seconds! That's a Mercedes, for gosh sakes! It must have at least a twenty-gallon tank!

- I know I'm going to be sorry for asking this, but why did Ray stop by Jenna's place? She's getting ready to go to work [amazingly!] and take Charlie to school. So it's early in the morning. Shouldn't Ray be doing something like...taking care of the ranch? He just stops by and has a pleasant conversation with Jenna for no reason. Sheesh.

- I'd like to know how Christopher recognized Charlie at the burger place under all of that pathetic make-up. That kid must have eagle eyes.

- So Ray Krebbs took the low road this time, did he? He tells Donna that he 'bought' a house for them to live in. I thought he was going to build their new dream least that's what he said before Pam drifted off to sleep that fateful night...

- Dora Mae needs to know her role. Suddenly, everybody and his brother are eating at the Oil Baron's Club! Don't they have standards? I just shook my head at all these losers that were fawning over Mandy. These guys don't like the types who could afford to eat at such a swanky place. Isn't it Dora Mae's job to keep such people out?

A new submitter, Dave O sent in the following: you mentioned that Alice Hirson's (Mavis) name was at the closing credits but she did not appear. I happen to have a tape of that episode When it aired on CBS in late
October 1986. The scene occurs right after Bobby gets into that fist fight With Charlie's motorcycle friends. The scene is at the Oil Baron's as Mavis has lunch with Miss Ellie. Casey asks for something from the bar. Miss Ellie orders a white wine while Mavis orders an iced tea. When Cassie comes back she gives them both white wines! Really! What a great nit.

- Anyway the conversation is about Wes. When Mavis mentions about Wes Ellie is stunned. She says "How do you know"? How do you think she knows Ellie. She is married to Punk. Punk has known for a couple of weeks by then. Did Ellie think Punk would not tell his own wife.? Jeeze! This is fantastic stuff!

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I really don't understand this J.R and Jack situation. While Jack's 10% of the company might not mean much now that J.R and Bobby collectively own 60%, but why go through all the trouble to make him angry? It makes little to no sense. You would think that J.R would be smart enough to realize that by alienating Jack, he risks losing the 10% to an outsider (like, say... Cliff Barnes). He's totally underestimated Jack. I suppose he figures that Jack doesn't have the business sense to do anything like that. But this is a good point.

- What's the deal with the Valentine ad campaign? At first they were full page, black and white shots in the newspaper. This I find to be poor P.R work, as lingerie ads shouldn't really be in the newspapers, but rather in some glossy publication. Now (today's episode), the ads appear to be full page, colour glossy ads, also in the newspaper. I'm no journalism major, but the quality of the photo appears to be far too good for a daily paper. Your point is well taken. Maybe it's a special addition to the Saturday paper or something.

- When Ellie has her confrontation with Wes Parmalee, she yells out "I don't know you!" and it sounds as though there's an echo (or at least some form of reverbaration). I've never noticed this before, but I assume it has something to do with the Lorimar soundstage. I didn't notice. You're probably right.

- Of course, during the suntan scene, Cliff makes a complete ass of himself. What the hell was he talking about? How exactly is he going to buy 10% (alright actually 5% if just April) of Ewing Oil, if he can't come up with a measly 2 million in cash? I know it was a cash flow problem, but one would have to assume that any buyout package that Cliff draws up would have to include a sizeable (if not entire) cash portion to be paid immediately. Assuming that Ewing Oil is worth approximately $1.5 billion (which Bobby alluded to earlier in the week), the 10% would cost upwards of $150 million (maybe even $200 million). Keeping in mind these figures, Cliff's claim that he has recently come into a lot of money (which we have to assume is Marilee's buyout of Cliff $11 million, even though it wasn't shown, and it's not even CLIFF's MONEY) is utterly laughable! Yes, he could probably get a loan, although not without putting up a significant portion of his company as collateral (and he already seems pretty strung out financially, so even that's not a sure thing). So, what is Cliff talking about? Phew.
This is quite a good analysis. I think Cliff is probably figuring that April doesn't know enough about business to figure this out on her own.

- Although it was good to see Bobby kick some ass today, the last guy that he knocks down seems to fall after a "phantom" kick to his behind from Bobby. [If you slow it down, it looks as though Bobby misses him].
Yes. I agree. The third one was a very bad sell.

- When Bobby and Pam bring back Charlie after the melee at the hamburger joint, Pam says to Jenna "we didn't mean to interfere". Well, that's not really true. The two of you clearly DID mean to interfere of Charlie's behalf. [Perhaps Pam meant that she wished they "hadn't had to interfere" but, alas, that's not what she said, hence, a nitpick.] Good one.

- Is Dallas Stadium really the most secluded place that J.R and Calhoun could find for their "top secret" meeting? Even if it's the off season (for the Cowboys, and I don't think it is) they would still be using the Stadium for concerts and other functions, therefore there would likely be numerous staff members on the grounds. You would think that J.R would show more concern for not being linked to B.D Calhoun. Hmm. I don't know what to make of this, because you've reminded me of several things. The first piece of evidence we have is Sue Ellen's check from a few episode ago, which was dated [Sunday -arrgh!], July 13, 1986. But JR had a conversation with this Gordon fellow about the spread on the Cowboys game being about seven points - which means that it should be at least September if football season has started. That said...I don't know if staff members would be there ALL the time. I'm sure there are some times when the stadium is relatively empty. I'll think about it.

AHN Anne's corner:

- Other weird things include the elevator at Ewing Oil. When J.R. is talking to April, you can see a down arrow, but that goes away when they approach it. Then the elevator's back at their floor in seconds. Wow! I was going to point out that the down arrow shouldn't be visible if the elevator door isn't open but this is better. Thanks.

- Also, why did Sly make such an enthusiastic point of saying good-bye to her boss? Maybe she was really shaken up when he threatened to fire her yesterday unless she found the owner of Valentine's Lingerie. Given the fate of other secretaries who haven't followed JR's strict orders, I'd say that's very smart.

- Secondly, Miss Ellie should have detected that Parmalee isn't Jock just by the fact that he said their second honeymoon was at Punk's cabin. If my memory serves me well, their second honeymoon was in France at the end of the third season. Maybe they're talking about their 'real' second honeymoon. I'll have to review the summaries...give me a minute...oh yeah! Episode 75...they left for their second honeymoon. Unless Punk's cabin was near a Paris lake, then this is a nit. The only possibility is that they went to Punk's cabin for a day or two before going to France. Who knows?

Episode 230: The Second Time Around

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Rob Frazier]

"...just because your sister and I are splitting up doesn't mean we have to kill our deal..."
- Cliff to Jack after having been busted in a clinch with April.

HELLO, CLIFF!!! That's EXACTLY why he'll probably kill the deal, you moron!!!  Cliff attempts to cheat on his wife (albeit POORLY I might add), and he doesn't expect her BROTHER to be even a LITTLE ticked?!

- Some things about Parmalee and John Ross's conversation bother me. First of all, does anyone believe that in Parmalee's three episode tenure at Southfork, he actually met John Ross? This is really a stretch. Do all of the ranch hands, or for that matter even the senior ranch hands, get introduced to the entire family?

- And someone better tell me how Parmalee could possibly know where John Ross's school is. This is a strike against you in your quest to be Jock, Wes. I knew Jock Ewing, and this kind of underhanded detective work is very un-Jock-like.

- I'll try to bear in mind Bobby's noble statement that one should be 'considerate' of pregnant women - but isn't Donna running up a huge long distance bill at Southfork? She's on the phone to Washington all the time! Did she get another line put in, perhaps? Seems kind of odd.

- Here's a non-nit if you think about it. It appears to be the middle of a weekday when Bobby goes over to Jenna's place. After all, she has a doctor's appointment [which normally occur on weekdays] and Charlie says she has homework. So why would Bobby go to Jenna's house instead of the boutique? Because Bobby's a smart guy and knows that the boutique is the LAST place in the world Jenna would probably be.

- Here's one more strike against Wes Parmalee's claim to be Jock. When he's asked to submit to medical tests, he calmly tells the Ewing boys and Harve to 'name their doctor'. If he really is Jock, shouldn't he name a specific doctor...for instance, Dr. Danvers? Or is he too afraid that Harlan will just ignore his claim and give him a sedative to calm him down? [This is just one far Wes has hit a home run with this as far as I'm concerned.]

- This gives away a trivia answer, but I wonder why Johnson's is catering the wedding? Why not Deltham Catering, which has faithfully catered the Ewing barbecue ever since I can remember?

- Some new maid named Carla comes over to tell Ellie that Clayton is looking for her. Carla? Who's Carla? Was she just recently hired? Or if she's just a temporary maid who's come to help out during the wedding, would Ellie know her name? And would a temp call her 'Miss Ellie' instead of 'Mrs. Farlow'? Maybe if she comes from the same agency Theresa does.

- And I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the piano player at the wedding was playing that annoying 'Pam's theme' music. I hate that music.

- And you can't have a good episode go by without a Pam nit. I graciously grant that the writers needed to have Pam overhear that neanderthal Ray tell the whole world about Bobby's love child. But why do it with Pam standing in the doorway as if she's been listening to the entire conversation? Wouldn't it would be more realistic if she was sort of 'walking by' and turned to look in the door so we could see the expression on her face?

- I wanted to mention this some time ago, but I was waiting for input [and didn't get it]. So let's talk about Jenna's pregnancy. She's roughly as far along as Donna, right? At least they go into labor only a few episodes apart. Donna found out she was pregnant in Episode 188 - three before the dream began. Jenna found out she was pregnant in the previous episode, ten episodes later. So when exactly would this miracle child have been conceived? After Jenna was let out of prison, right? And how many nights were there between this and the night Bobby proposed to Pam? One.
I hope you all see the point, but for those who don't, let me spell it out: Bobby must have slept with Jenna the night of the Ewing party celebrating the victory in court; and then the next night he rolled over and pledged his love to Pam. Am I the only one who finds this very un-Bobby-like?

Rob Frazier mentioned: The street outside Pam's bridal shower.  Bobby and Pam pull up that bright red convertible known as Ewing 4. Bobby turns to the Love of His Life and says something along the lines of "O.K., Pammykins...have fun at your shower..."  I wouldn't have had a problem with this had I not asked myself:  Why is Bobby driving Pam to her shower in the first place?  The woman is worth, what?, $50 million?  Shouldn't she have her OWN damned car? The one she nearly drove under a fuel truck during that dream season perhaps? You're right. It's just so they can talk about Jenna and Pam can look concerned.

Also from Rob: Question: If Calhoun really wanted J.R. to fly to wherever this "fireworks display" was, why did he wait until his crew was just about ready to make things go boom before he called for him?
He then tried to make it look like they werene't ready by acting surprised when it was. But you're right. Awfully convenient.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why does JR's detective bother to take so many pictures of Wes in the dark entering his room? One or two I could understand but he has a stack of them and they look pretty much the same...
I agree. I don't understand this at all.

- JR's hair goes through some weird changes in this episode..  In one scene, he clearly has a toupee  (his bangs are too even.-this occurs in his office...)  In another scene he seems to have his own hair combed in front again... (Towards the end of the episode) Didn't notice. Good call.

- While we are on the subject of JR--  Why does BD bother him just to let him hear the sound of him blowing up a fake oil rig...  Big deal..  If he has to prove that he can, JR has hired the wrong man..... And why waste his time to go out there to see it?  This man should be a professional weapons man.  JR knows he can do his job...
Can you spell BILC? Because it looks cool.

- Why would John Ross suddenly leave his game to go talk to a virtual stranger?  Even if he saw Wes around Southfork before, is that a good enough reason to suddenly drop his game with his freinds to have a conversation with this guy.....  It was a rather abrupt transition....  (And surely the security conscious Ewings would have given John Ross a good talk about the dangers of strangers....  It's got to be a good two or three episodes since someone has entered the Ewing office or Southfork unannounced!!!) Oops!!  take that back... Wes shows up at the Wedding , somehow avoiding the tight security of Southfork. 

- How come no one mentions Lucy or Gary at the wedding?  You'd think in real life they would be mentioned..  (I know Gary can't show up because he is mad that Dallas messed up his show with their stupid dream plot but what of sweet Lucy?)
Good points. I'd completely forgotten about them.

- Charlie seems to have the ears of a cat...  She can hear Jenna's and Ray's soft spoken conversation around the corner of his house..  I was impressed... So was I.

- Jamie should have known that something was up with Cliff..  He was willing to pay to take her and Jackie out to dinner and it didn't involve coupons or meal deals..  I hope she maxes out his credit card in revenge...
I didn't clue into this. You're absolutely right!

- She can start by getting a new purse.  I noticed that she leaves her's on Jackie's desk when she leaves after seeing him with April... I didn't ! Thanks.

- Why did Jackie have to come all the way up stairs with Jamie?  Isn't Jamie able to carry two glasses and a champaigne bottle by herself..  And why the glasses?   She knows boozy Cliff has plenty of them in his office.
Did Jackie come up too? I must have been asleep during this.

- Another time note...  April says it has been 4 years since Jock died.. I believe he died in fall/winter 81 and 4 years later would be 1985..  This would be consistent if they were to drop the dream season. good.....  So why did Sue Ellen have a check a few episodes back that said 1986? Make up your mind!!!
Perhaps she means 'since he was legally declared dead'. This is a great point!

- Bobby sure didn't wait too long to see if anyone was home at Jennas..Ring Ring   oops gotta go......
Yeah. A word to the wise, I guess. I wouldn't want to hang around too long either and get my head bit off.

- Ray is downing a beer at the wedding then orders whiskey...  Doesn't that make you sick?   I remeber a rhyme someone once told me...  Liquor then beer, in the clear..  Beer then liquor, never sicker...
I wouldn't know. I'll take your word for it.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why is Pam coming into Bobby's room before the wedding?  Isn't it bad luck? To go along with this... at the end of Monday night's episode, she appears right outside the door way to his room with Jamie, in Tuesday's she and Jamie are noticeably further back down the hall, staring at the men in the room. I seriously doubt that she took three big steps back when Ray dropped the bomb... I didn't notice the second point. I'll have another look. And I honestly can't make any sense of Pam's presence in the doorway.

Episode 231: Bells are Ringing

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [I found this one myself.]

Clayton: "How the hell did he [Parmalee] get through security?"

Hate to break it to you, Clayton, since you should know after living at Southfork for a few years. THERE IS NO SECURITY! NONE AT ALL! YOU PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SPELL SECURITY IF I SPOTTED YOU THE FIRST SEVEN LETTERS!
[There, now I feel better.]

- More continuity problems. Near the beginning of the episode, Donna reaches out to grab Ray's arm while wondering who the father of Jenna's baby is. Then suddenly her hand is holding her hat, as if the wind were about to blow it away.

- Before Pam comes out for the wedding, the band tunes their instruments. Since there's been a long delay and the band has presumably been playing the whole time, shouldn't they be excessively tuned at this point? Perhaps not. Anyone with more musical instrument knowledge please tell me.

- An unavoidable nit under the circumstances: in Pam and Bobby's flashback, their recollection of their hairstyles is very poor. Pam's hair was short, perfectly straight, kind of stringy...and her face was much less full than she recalls. Bobby's hair was also VERY different back then - more of a mop-top look. [Of course, the real reason was that they shot this footage with the episode instead of going back into the archives.]

- Angelica Nero lives on! What is with Sue Ellen's gaudy purple hat?

- I'll wait for Valerie Martin to confirm this [since she seems to be QUITE interested] but it looks like Jack's stuffing his speedos again.

- Every day that goes by with this Wes Parmalee storyline, I become more and more convinced that he could be Jock. But every day he seems to do one thing that makes me question him. Today's was a difficult one to catch...but think back to Episode 46. Parmalee tells Sue Ellen that JR doubted whether John Ross was his son, just as he doubts whether Wes is his father. Parmalee mentions Cliff's paternity suit and all the other things that happened. This is all well and good...except that Jock and Ellie didn't know about Sue Ellen's affair with Cliff! JR certainly did. Pam and Bobby certainly did. But no one told Jock or Ellie! They were completely convinced that Cliff's paternity suit was frivolous. So if Parmalee is really Jock [and I still think he is making a really good case] he should make up a story about overhearing some of the other family members talking about it.

- I don't recall Wes Parmalee ever arranging a time to meet with Ellie at the museum. How did they hook up? I seriously doubt Ellie called him to make arrangements, so did he call the ranch? This doesn't seem right.

- And we know the real reason, but why is Clayton so worried about Ellie that he has to dash off right away to find her? He's barely out of his car Raoul tells him that Ellie went to the museum and then he hops right back in!

AHN Mike submitted: Also, the other night when Bobby went to Jenna's and only Charlie was home, Bobby parked on the wrong side of the street for the direction he was facing. Today though he parked on the same side but facing in the right direction.

AHN Joe O submitted:  I think today's episode was the first one in which it was implied that Miss Ellie actually drove herself somewhere.  I always got the impression she didn't know how to drive which made sense she is an old-time southern belle type.  Look for yourself I don't think you are going to find another episode in which she has driven anywhere.
You may be right, Joe, but I seem to recall one or two other times when Ellie actually turned her own key. I'll check.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- What is up with the priests on Dallas? First, the one at Pam-Mark's wedding (non-wedding) was all strange, and now the one at Bobby-Pam's is, too. He asks if anyone has any objections, but then stops for only a millisecond (if at all) before going into the ceremony. Also, what was with him saying that it was their "second time around"? That may be true, but it sure wasn't very nice. I found that odd, too. As for the objections part of it...well, after everything that's happened we probably don't want to waste any MORE time.

- Did I miss something? The whole Jordan/Andy/Bobby scene made it seem as though Ewing Oil wasn't part of the lobby (either that or Jordan and Andy aren't, but I'm pretty sure they are...). The thing is, I don't remember when Bobby and J.R balked at the idea. I know J.R's got that militia thing going on, but I thought that was on the side. Maybe I misread (or misVIEWED) the scene. I think we're suffering from some cuts. It's possible that Jordan and Andy are just angry that Bobby pushed Donna into the spotlight instead of leaving it to the cartel folks. I'm not too sure.

- When Sue Ellen said to Wes Parmalee that "it looks like your life's coming together", I just shook my head. Why's that Sue Ellen? Because he got some crappy job as a labourer. Big deal. Or is it because everyone and their brother (get it?) is trying to run him out of Dallas? Oh, yeah, his life sure is coming together...
This was a very strange comment.

- BTW, I haven't heard Wes Parmalee say "Damn it, Ellie!" once, not even once! If that's not the best test available, I don't what is. He can't be Jock! I know! That would be a true mark-out moment! Either that or "I am Takapa!" or a tirade laced with 'hell's and 'damn's.

- This bank loan issue is driving me batty! First of all, I consider it an affront to all the loyal Dallas viewers that the granting of the half a billion dollar line of credit was never shown onscreen! This seems like a fairly important point. Also with regard to the bank credit issue, I am having a hard time with the Ewing's line being frozen. I know that Franklin Horner's a prick (and let's be honest, that's exactly what he is) but if he's going to make his case on a legal platform, he's going to lose. According to the courts, Jock is legally dead. So why in hell is he cutting of Ewing Oil because of a couple of rumours? Is he going to give it up every time some claims to be Jock. What if the Big Dumb Ox steps forward and says he's actually Jock? Uh oh, goodnight Ewing Oil. Well, as we Canucks know, the banks can do whatever they jolly well please. I'm not certain if they really should be able to stop an existing line of credit, though; it's possible that they could refuse to extend MORE credit, but this seems like a bit of a reach.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Sue Ellen's wedding outfit looked really tacky... Donna's was no prize either... Who is these women's designer?
Angelica Nero, of course!

- I see Sly, Jackie, and Phyllis but where is the AWOLl Kendall..  also why isn't Christopher up front in the wedding party like he was in the dream...
I forgot about Kendall! You're right. I didn't see Christopher but I was furiously making notes while they were flashing shots of the crowd so I didn't notice that.

- Speaking of the dream, the minister did it again..  This one calls Pam Pamela Barnes Ewing....  Why not Pamela Jean Barnes?  Espically if she is remarrying MR Ewing?  I didn't notice if he called Bobby --Bobby James Ewing...
Well, the answer to your first question is that Pam still calls herself Pamela Barnes Ewing, despite the divorce. You'll recall that when she dreamed of marrying Mark, she was referred to as Pamela Barnes Ewing. Why the middle name is left out this time is very strange. And he did not use Bobby's middle name either, which is why I didn't call it a nit.

- Donna sure looks un-pregnant- very slim considering she is what 4 months along --this time last year she got hit by the bull and she was really big then.... That was the ninth episode of the season. So was this, so you're right.

- Not a nit but incorrect English..  Ray says to Donna about the baby  "It is Bobby, are you satisfied?'  Actually correctly it should be Bobby's..  but this is Ray for you... Yup.

- Why would Ellie even tell Raoul where she is going? Because he never usually speaks so he can (usually) keep a good secret..? Hmm. That's a good point. He doesn't need to know...except to tell Clayton, of course. Classic plot trick.

- Sly announces that she is leaving and JR grabs his breifcase to go immediately, then Horner comes in his office door. Sly must have seen him on the way out..  You'd think she could have buzzed JR. It is a bit soon for Franklin to be able to slip in unannounced.

AHN Jake's corner:

- The priest marrying Bobby and Pam kept saying "lawful" instead of "lawfully".

- Why does Bobby suggest that Pam come along when he goes to see Jenna? Yeah, I'd like her to go because I want to look at her, but Bobby should know that it would cause a lot of trouble.  Maybe he can't get enough of Pam either :-)
This was really dumb. I agree.

- When Pam and Bobby are having dinner with Miss Ellie and Clayton, the Farlows excuse themselves, saying they want to spend some time at home together.  A few seconds later, Pam says, "Oh, don't let us keep you." You're not, Pam, that's why they're leaving. Bonehead dialogue. That's great.

- At Pam and Bobby's wedding, April's hair was reddish, but at the poolside, it was blond.
It is most definitely blond. Maybe the shadows playing tricks. I'll look again.

Episode 232: Who's Who at the Oil Baron's Ball

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [I found this one myself.]

"I wouldn't miss it for a free trip to China." - April talking about the Oil Baron's Ball. HUH?

- I know Bobby's smitten with his new bride - I would be too - but I don't see any reason for him to coddle to her. Bobby tells Pam that "Usually when you have a problem you attack it head on." Is that right, Bobby? In spite of the fact that it took her a whole season to tell you that she might be carrying a hereditary disease? Or that it took her half a season to come to grips with Mark Graison's illness? I could go on, but you get the point.

- Not a nit, just a comment: Pam and April are actually introduced at the Oil Baron's Ball. This is interesting in light of what occurs in later seasons.

- When Sue Ellen is drinking with Bruce Harvey, they both seem to drink the same brownish liquid. Doesn't Sue Ellen usually have club soda? And certainly no alcohol...right?

- Here's a tote category in the making. Jackie's incompetence yet again! When Cliff gets a call from April, instead of pressing a 'hold' button, Jackie just puts her hand on the receiver. Give me a break.

- Pregnant Jenna is rollerskating. In a long dress. Does this seem right? What if that half-breed Ray let her go and she fell?

- Jack looked like he was going to burst out laughing before going off to dance with Sue Ellen. Something hilarious must have been cut.

Bruce Sinclair pointed out: I may be the only one on earth who noticed it, but I am a Texan: The flag behind the stage at the Oil Baron's Ball yesterday was not hung correctly!! (The Red part, signifying the blood of the Alamo, by the way, should be to the left and not the right...) I can't imagine that Larry Hagman, who was the only certified Texan in the cast and proud of it, did not notice!! This is a damn OUTRAGE!! This is a fantastic nit! None of the AHNs are from Texas, so we wouldn't know. Thank you so much for this!

AHN Clint pointed out: Clayton utters something dumb about the picture of Jock didn't really bother him, but Wes Parmalee does. Wait a minute, wasn't Clayton really disturbed about Jock's picture that he couldn't sleep. Dumb ox.

AHN Jason's corner:

- April has these huge earrings when she comes out of the swimming pool. Very impractical for swimming.

- Watch April's hair during her talk with JR on top of the building.  It suddenly blows up abruptly.  Bad continuity...(this happens right after they walk to a side of the balcony...)

- After Jack and Cliff have their tiff at the restaurant, Jamie seems to just stare into space..  Kinda weird... I think she's thinking about her failed relationship with Cliff. I guess.

- JR tells Jack to sell before April gets her hands on his shares. Would selling them to JR really help Jack's situation?  He still has to split the profits with April.... They could probably do something underhanded...I don't know. Perhaps JR could buy them really cheap to get April out of town and then they could do a side deal.

- The Angelica Nero award of the day.... Mandy.. and why is a lingerie model not wearing a bra with her gown..  I know...   BILC. We'll let Kyle answer this.

- Pam mentions to Bobby something about a shortened honeymoon..  They don't seem to have gone away at all...
No, they didn't. Probably down to Houston and back or something.

- JR tells Sly to go home for the night after she ushers in the guy whose business he was going to buy...  Normally this would be plausible but I checked.  This episode aired in Nov 86   At that point in the year, the sun sets usually by 5.. The sun is clearly up when this scene starts so what time is it suppose to be?   (We are treated to a nice sunny day outside the window....) JR giving her an early Xmas holiday?
This was very strange.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I'm pretty sure that Mr. Valentine (Andy Andy) did it intentionally, but all the same, saying "N, period, O" makes absolutely no sense at all. I didn't notice this. Thanks.

- I think maybe the cast of Dallas should make a video entitled "How Not to Lift Weights". First Sue Ellen swinging her arms all over the place and now Bobby is risking severe injury to his back. When you do curls, you're not supposed to lean forward as you lift the weight (ie. as you bring it from your waist to your shoulders). Ideally, the back is kept perfectly straight so as to prevent any undo strain on the back muscles.
Jason pointed out that it looked weird, but couldn't give me details. Thanks.

- When Sue Ellen makes her snide (daily) comment about Mandy at the Oil Baron's Ball, Jack and Jamie give this knowing smile. But why, exactly, do they do that? I'm not sure either of them know much at all about J.R and Mandy (although Jamie might, but I could be confusing the seasons). No, I think Jamie saw JR with Serena a few seasons ago. neither should know Mandy. This was very odd. It looked like Jack was going to burst out laughing.

- Mavis to Pam: "I'm so sorry we missed the wedding...". Well that's all well and good, but most of the time, when one is apologizing, one gives a reason for why they could not attend. I guess the Anderson's aren't most people.
Excellent point. Thanks.

- I found it preposterous that when the whole Parmalee thing was going down at the Oil Baron's Ball, Bobby saw fit to launch his tirade WHILE SEATED IN HIS CHAIR! If he were truly agitated, he would probably have jumped up (and would likely have had to been restrained). Having Bobby remain seated just sort gave off an artificial feeling to the whole scene.
Was he sitting down? I honestly didn't notice. What a great scene, otherwise, though.

- Where exactly do Punk and Ellie get off (specifically Punk) telling Bobby to, for all intents and purposes, shut up? He's Bobby Ewing, and that guy on stage MAY BE Jock Ewing, but MIGHT NOT be him. So what gives? (I, myself, was out outraged). I agree totally. Punk needs to know his role.

- Clayton's scene at the end with Parmalee was flat out terrific. I usually think of Clayton as the Big Dumb Ox, but on occasion (true, a fairly rare occasion) he truly shines. I think it's because he literally commands a presence during his big scenes. And when Clayton threatens someone, I actually believe him (unlike J.R). Clayton has one thing going for him: plausibility. Absolutely. I totally agree. I wish they would actually do more with him than just have him sit around and be a dumb ox.

Episode 233: Proof Positive

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 3

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason]

JR's continuous rant about the lack of security at the Oil Baron's ball.

- There seems to be a lot of debate over how much Ewing Oil is really worth. Yesterday, Jack intimated the whole company is worth $ 2 billion, because his 10% share was 200 million, but he was willing to let it go for 125. Today, Cliff tells April that her 5% is worth $ 50 million, which would mean that the company is worth about 1 billion dollars. Of course, last week Bobby told Franklin Horner that the company was worth at least 1.5 billion. I figure it's somewhere in between, and people are changing it to suit their needs, but it might be nice to get an exact number at some point.

- During the scene where Ellie tries to convince Clayton not to leave the ranch, her hands are on Clayton's shoulders when the camera is facing her. But when the camera cuts to let us see Clayton, her hands seem to be on his upper arms.

- I actually have something good to say about Mandy. Her acting in the 'movie' is certainly better than Deborah Shelton's acting on the show. Too bad the plot of her film truly sucks! If this isn't a porn movie of some kind, this makes no sense.

- Jackie did it again! When she gets in touch with the official that Cliff wants to talk to, she just puts her hand over the receiver! Isn't there a hold button on her phone? Or does she just not know how to use it?

- Everyone knows that I [like a lot of other males who watch the show] am a Victoria Principal 'mark'. She is absolutely, unquestionably, the most beautiful woman on the show in my mind. But today, I say that Pam Ewing deserves to be bitch-slapped into the ground for even thinking about asking Jenna to allow Bobby and herself to adopt Jenna's child. I daresay that not even JR would stoop so low.

- When Harve comes to Ewing Oil, why are Sly and Phyllis still around? It seems to be rather late. Workaholics in these tough economic times?

- And this brings up another point. If the secretaries are there, how is it that they just allow Wes Parmalee to walk into JR's office? Or were they, like the rest of Dallas, just awed by his presence?

- And this brings to by "Wes is not Jock" nit of the day. After everything he goes through in this episode, Wes makes one fatal mistake in my mind. Does anyone believe that there is a chance in hell that the real Jock Ewing would sell Ewing Oil to anyone at any time for any price?

- To prove I give credit where credit is due, I must point out something that I hope most people will enjoy as much as I did. Eric Newman wondered why the polygraph guy didn't ask Wes Parmalee, "Are you Takapa?"

- AHN Joe S pointed out when Wes is taking the polygraph test, as he is answering questions, the shot cuts to the polygraph reader scribbling furiously.  However, the same shot for Wes telling the truth is used on each shot.  In other words, they don't show the machine just continuing, but show the same recorded shot of he machine each time.

- Dave O submitted: The set used for Mandy's movie sure looked like Karen and Mack's kitchen from Knots Landing. I guess since they they are not sharing storylines they agreed to share sets instead.
Someone pointed this out on the newsgroup, too. Thanks.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Ummm, do Bobby and J.R understand the concept of a lie detector test? It seems to me as though they think it's a foolproof device. Well that's not really true. The reason it is not admissible in court is that the lie detector isn't so much a test of whether or not someone's telling the truth, but rather a test of whether or not a person can keep their emotions under control. The problem with lie detector's is that sometimes people get so worked up while taking the test (and who wouldn't, with wires attached all over your body) that it seems as though they are lying when they're actually telling the truth. Something like blood work and skeletal examination is much more conclusive than something subjective like a lie detector test.
But they've already been through the blood work and what not, right? They need show that Wes is a liar.

- And what about the blood work? Yes, Jock and Wes Parmalee have the same blood type, but I'm pretty sure they could test for antigens and various other specific characteristics to distinguish between the two. Why wouldn't Dr. Danvers test for this. I agree with you except it's unlikely that during Jock's lifetime such technology existed. Antigen testing and what not is fairly new. Nowadays, it would be relatively simple if you had enough money, and it may have been possible in 1986, but where would you get a Jock Ewing antigen scan?

- I think I have finally found my Dallas pet peeve (aside from the whole Mandy thing, which is clearly ending). It's the use of "me" in place of "I". Examples: Bobby and Me, Cliff and me, [anybody's name] and me. Everytime I hear someone using it as the pronoun instead of "I" it's like someone running their nails along a chalkboard. It's maddening!

AHN Joe O's corner:

- I thought it was odd that Bobby and J.R. had to recommend how to go about getting a person to perform the lie detector test.  Harve is the lawyer after all. He should have known. Agreed. Can you smell the cabbage?

-  I thought the whole scene with Mandy at the screening was odd. I just don't think that is how it is done and from her acting on this cheesy movie they were screening I don't understand the raves they give her.  Now if it were a porno that would be a different story all together. :) You know, I thought Mandy was a better actor in the 'movie' than on the show! You're right about the plot being totally lame...maybe it is a porn movie.

AHN Jason's corner:

- The Sales guy and the hotel that Wes uses really are taking a gamble by allowing a man with no true collateral to get their services for free. They assume he is Jock but I doubt in real life they would allow him to sponge off of them without a back up... I agree totally. This is ridiculous.

-Attention- Hell really Froze over!!!!!    JR wants Clayton at Southfork... I could just see him say  "Come home Daddy!!!!
Very bizarre. Only for his own ends, but still weird.

- Mandy's Miami Vice screen test was interesting....  It was supposed to be a movie I gather...  but did you notice that they don't show the actor's face... usually the camera goes back and forth between actors in a scene...  (I know the real life reason...  They wanted us to believe that it was Don Johnson's character..)
I guess. Or the focus was supposed to be on Mandy.

- Note Cliff's office now says MR Barnes   Not PRIVATE anymore.. Didn't notice. Thanks.

- This one you have to watch closely...  As Jenna is working in her boutique you can see red lettering out of the window..  It looks like V E S    What does that spell... What is the name of her boutique anyways?
I'll take a closer look.

AHN Clint's corner:

-I guess Donna has visited Ray at the new house, with those trees, and that is why Miss Ellie would find out from Donna how beautiful the house is. I guess so too.

AHN Jake's corner:

- J.R. says that Bobby was the first to see Wes go up on stage and should have done something.  I don't remember that.  J.R. was the first to say something. Correct.

- It is night, and J.R. says he is going to call Harve right now.  But then a scene or two later, J.R. is talking to Harve, it's day, and it seems like it's the first Harve's heard about it.
Maybe Harve was out and he had to leave a message.

- When Sue Ellen is showing Pam the lingerie, Pam says she doesn't want any. Then when Sue Ellen says she owns the shop, Pam says that she does want some. I know she would get a discount, but it wouldn't matter if she still didn't want them.
This was weird. But aren't you glad she bought some?

- When J.R. was trying out the lie detector, why didn't the guy ask J.R. really hard questions, questions that only J.R. would know whether or not to answer yes or no to?   That way J.R. could be assured of how good of a machine it was.
I think the demonstration was sufficient, but I see what you mean. Of course, there's always the chance JR could be embarrassed by this.

- Instead of answering "yes" or "no" on the lie detector like instructed, Wes keeps answering "Yeah."
I noticed this too. But the polygraph guy let it go, so I figured it was okay.

Episode 234: Something Old, Something New

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 0 [A crying shame]

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jake]

- Miss Ellie: "If this man really is Jock, and he's not missing...and he's not dead..."
Well, Ellie, if this man is Jock, then of course he isn't missing or dead.

- Maybe it's just me, but I really don't think it's very smart for Jenna to wear such a long, loose skirt on such a windy day when she takes Charlie to the stables. Just seems odd.

- Theresa should take something for her multiple personality. When she asks Ellie if she should serve dinner, she calls her "Mrs. Farlow." She normally does not call her this unless they are in a more formal setting with people around. Anne noticed this too.

Dave O wondered why Sue Ellen's T.V. is so close to the floor.? I have noticed this with most of the T.V.'s on Southfork. And shouldn't she have a much bigger one. That T.V. looks so middle class. I guess they are not big on home entertainment at Southfork. Interesting. I hadn't thought of that. Good one.

AHN Anne's corner:

- Ellie didn't buckle up when she drove off; very un-Miss Ellie. One more thing--don't Volkswagens need a stick shift? Miss Ellie's car didn't have that feature. Though most VWs do have a manual transmission, there are some without. The high-end ones, such as the Ewings would buy.

- Finally, how did Parmalee pay for that buggy ride? He doesn't have any money. Or is he having his date pay for the whole thing? Along those lines, wouldn't the driver get a little miffed at having to wait around while Wes and Miss Ellie make out? I would! And one other thing (and this is my last), why did Wes kiss Ellie that first time? I mean he barely kissed her at all. Was he waiting to see if she'd smack him before going on?
This was a bizarre scene! All of your points are valid.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- As much as I think that Bobby is Batman (more so in the earlier seasons, when Ray played the part of Robin) it seems pretty silly to send him to South America to look for evidence that a qualified ex-CIA man couldn't find. Agreed.

- And what's the deal with labeling the city skyline with the tag 'South America'? That's a whole freaking continent!! It would've been nice to have seen a little more specificity. I know. This was pretty stupid.

- Bobby tells Jenna that the boutique was a gift to her. Actually, it wasn't. Remember way back when Jenna had a spaz about not being a kept woman? They made a huge deal about Jenna paying back the loan on the cost of the boutique. Bobby should no better (he's lucky he didn't get his eyes scratched out, that cat had claws!).
Agreed as well. Bobby just trying to say, 'down, girl!' but I see your point.

- I found it odd that Ray and Jenna are standing about 7 feet or so (definitely within earshot) of Charlie, and yet they're speaking of her in the third person. Sure, they don't say anything bad about her, but nevertheless, she CAN hear them talking about her. If I'm Charlie, I'm used to this at this point.

- Why does Miss Ellie find Bobby's going to South America so utterly contemptible? She says she wants the truth, but not a witch hunt. What? It's not like Bobby's going to be burning people at the stake for answers (is he?). How does Miss Ellie think they should go about seeking the truth? Sit around and wait for Parmalee to crack?
Ellie is being stupid here. I second your nomination. I guess she figures that if Wes is lying, he'll tell them eventually. Yikes.

- At the end of Calhoun's conversation with J.R, B.D seems to have an excessively long pause. It doesn't really seem like he's forgotten his line though. It's more like he's waiting for his cue to go ahead (like maybe he thinks J.R still talking). Did you notice this? Maybe it's just poor editing (not by TNN, but by CBS).
I actually didn't notice but I'll look again.

AHN NIS's corner:

- Mandy is not at least wondering what Sue Ellen is doing at her contract signing? She doesn't say anything until Sue Ellen tells her. She's not the swiftest girl, is she?

- JR opens a beer and doesn't drink it. Just sets it down.
Yes, I thought so, but I looked away to make some notes so I wasn't sure. Thanks.

- Miss Ellie says that she and Wes have to talk. They just went on a 'long' carriage ride which I think would have been the perfect time but I guess not. Yes...what did they do during this ride?

- 8:30pm in Dallas is 5:30am in Saudi Arabia. Not sure what time it was in Dallas but It seemed awful light outside Calhoun's window when he and JR were talking. I assume this is summer so I guess this could pass.
BD says it's bedtime in Dallas, so it's got to be later than 8:30 pm.

AHN Jake's corner:

- I don't think Sue Ellen and Mandy ever met before.  Then how would Mandy know Sue Ellen when she saw her?  Come to think of it, they did meet -- in the dream season, but then Mandy still wouldn't know what Sue Ellen looked like.
Mandy saw Sue Ellen at a restaurant when she was having lunch with Jamie in Episode 168. You are right that they never met but I'm sure Sue Ellen found out enough about her.
AHN Jake and Tom Blackburn also remind us that they met briefly at a restaurant in Episode 223 where Sue Ellen referred to her as 'the Winger tramp'.

- Mandy says to Sue Ellen "Did you know that?" about J.R. telling her that if it was going to be anyone, it would have been her.  Now how would Sue Ellen know that?   Like J.R. would tell her that. Good point.

- Jamie makes it seem like she's been away or hasn't talked to Cliff for weeks.
Maybe she hasn't 'really' talked to Cliff for weeks except for their shouting matches. This was weird.

- It took Jenna this long to go to Bobby's office and yell at him for what Pam did?   If it was in the heat of the moment, she would have gone sooner.

- And it took this long for J.R. to want out of the Saudi Arabia thing? He met the CIA officer two episodes ago; you think he would have tried to reach B.D. Calhoun before now.
Maybe he has been trying and failing. Or else he got another visit from the Man in Black which was cut.

- When Jenna and Ray are talking, I can see Charlie in the backround.  It seems to take her forever to get her horse together.  That's probably because she was never really going to get on... Yup.

- When Cliff is at his office talking (or rather, arguing) with Jamie, he points one of his fingers up while he drinks.  I've never seen Cliff do this before.  Most men don't. I didn't notice.
AOL Jake replies: If you think about it, it fits his misfit image.  Cliff wants to exude class and taste (!), but he's hopelessly nouveau-riche.  His apartment is hideously decorated; and his clothes are loud--how many other Texas oil men on the show wear silk pocket squares in colors to match their ties, and hanging so far out of the pocket that they look like corsages?   Yesterday he also had a flower in the buttonhole.  So, the affected pinky in the air while drinking is just part of the hopelessly gauche Cliff we all love--at least I think it makes him more fun anyway!

- When Sue Ellen is showing J.R. the tape, I can see her sitting in the background before she is announced.  J.R. should have seen it too. Maybe, but he wouldn't understand the significance until she's announced as head of Valentine's..

- Cliff seems surprised that Pam refuses to be is bank anymore (unless of course, he gives her 25% Barnes-Wentworth).  She has told him this before. I know. I think the writers just thought we might have forgot.

- Wendell says to J.R. at the Oil Baron's something like, "Oh, you're not here with your wife."  Well, he rarely is, Wendell.  Everytime he eats lunch with a woman it's usually not Sue Ellen. Yes, I think he's just trying to make a point to JR's latest lady friend.

- The shot they used of the Reflecting Pool in Washington, D.C. was obviously a still shot -- nothing moved in the picture and it was a bit fuzzy and static-y. Yes.

AHN Clint's corner:

- Clayton calls Ellie, or mutters to Ellie "Ellen". I don't know if Ellen can be used as a nickname for Eleanor or not. Maybe that dumb ox forgot his own wife's name. I missed this. When did it happen?

- Clayton is really a dumb ox. His conversation where he says -- "Your family accepts me!" -- I was laughing when I heard this. JR may prefer Clayton over Wes Parmalee, but JR can't even accept his wife defeating him. Good point.

- The scene with JR and Miss Ellie in the kitchen was supposed to be late night, but the window seemed to bright. I have to ask you a question was Dallas shot in a real house or on sets? I have to say a set, because it just looked too white outside.
In later years, it was definitely on a set. I think you're right.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Does Mandy only have to sign one page of that big contract?  Seems like she would have to initial or sign more than once...
Good point.

- Why does Ray come the SF breakfast table?  He sits down and just hops back up a few minutes later.. He does this a lot. I don't get it.

- BD tells JR  that "there will be no roads leading back to him  (JR)"   in this episode but a few back he said to JR that there will be no guarantee that his involvement won't be found out.  Huh? I'm not sure.

Episode 235: Bar-B-Cued

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 2

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason]

- Miss Ellie: "If this man really is Jock, and he's not missing...and he's not dead..."
Well, Ellie, if this man is Jock, then of course he isn't missing or dead.

- I'd like to know why JR is staring at the inside of his office door when Bobby calls. Surely he must have something better to do.

- Not a nit, just a comment: I thought Jamie was leaving Dallas? This has been going on for four episodes now.

- JR's TV in the office is weird. Either that or it's the severe angle. The newscaster looks like Jay Leno's big headed guy - a huge head that takes up the whole screen and no neck.

- Bruce Sinclair mentioned: Senator Dowling: Dude, a man's shirt cuffs are to show about 1/2 of an inch not 5 INCHES, for God's sake! What's up with his wardrobe? Also; US Senators do not dress like Vegas Pit Bosses in double breasted designer suits! Guess he was a minor enough character that nobody cared but, not very good presentation, I'd say.
I didn't notice. Good call.

- Bruce also mentioned: BBQ scene: Everybody goes running in to see Ellie and Wes and she says he left. Outside, someone says he went to his car (Wes has a car?) Ray says we'll never catch him now..... Well, I've been to Southfork many times and there is NO way out of that house that couldn't be seen, unless you went out the front door and jumped the fence and headed for the road; which would be easily seen and take a couple of minutes. Assuming his car was by the driveway, everyone would have seen him pass by on the way out. Also, there is not a damned thing around the ranch so it would be easy, Ray, to go after him: there are only two ways to go, North or South and it's a way's to much of anything from there. I guess he high tailed it to the new mall in Plano or is actually hiding out at Troy Aikman's spread nearby.
I agree. This was SO lame. I'm trying to pinpoint one thing about the payoff here that is the lamest thing, and the next thing you know someone points out something lamer.

AHN Joe O mentioned:You notice the lack of any photos of Ray or Gary on the mantel piece in today's episode?  Now Ray I can understand but Gary?  I guess the people from "Knots" were serious when they severed all ties with "Dallas" after the dream season.  

AHN Clint's corner:

- I have said this 100 times, but I want to correct myself. Jamie Ewing used to dress so plain. The old Jamie Ewing did, and the dream creation did as well. However, this Jamie is always wearing flashy dresses or flashdance outfits. I can only presume that her bitterness towards Cliff has made her a different woman. I still prefer Jenilee Harrison to Sheree Wilson -- well at least today during the Barbie-Q. That leather outfit April wore was hot, but she seemed a little "tiny" in it.
April did look very strange. I agree with you about Jamie's transformation.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I don't actually recall Jamie telling Cliff about what's wrong with Gold Canyon 340. I do recall Cliff slamming the door in her face and basically tell her that she didn't know jack because she was a women. It seems to me that TNN is increasingly editing out scenes that are vital to the show. I agree.

- I know J.R's just trying to cover his ass when he says that Americans "never stoop to that [Calhoun's mercenary tactics] level of violence", but come on J.R, Americans ALWAYS STOOP to that level of violence. It's their strong manifest destiny that allows them to rationalize acts of agression against nations who they perceive to be impeding US progress. Let's face, the "global police" do pretty much whatever they want to (example US missile attack less than a month ago). I like Americans, I
really do (in fact I think it's ironic that Canadians are always bashing our southern neighbours, while all the while trying to be more like them in every way) but J.R's line made me laugh. [Sorry, sometimes I get a little political].
You're a real hoser, eh? :) I like this.

- How about that annual Ewing BBQ! It seems as though it takes less and less time to prepare for each year (in fact, I think it will soon disappear entirely). Why this year, it seems as though there was no preparation at all! They could at least shown Miss Ellie make her little "it's going to be the biggest Ewing BBQ ever!" speech, instead of just tossing it in near the end of the episode. I agree. This was kind of surprising. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't read the title.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Clayton has a lasso on his saddle as he rides around Ray's front lawn. Huh? (I think I may have set myself up for an OX joke....) Thank you for playing straight man! Maybe he wants to russle up an oxling from the herd.

- Just a note.. Linda Gray is a beautiful woman but her teeth have been looking discolored in the last few episodes..
Didn't notice because of her terrible depush.

- How could Valentine NOT know that Sue Ellen wasn't Mrs. Ewing?  He signed a contract with her.  Her last name MUST have been on it. Maybe she made a dummy corporation a la JR.

- Senator Dowling notes Donna's condition  (aka  pregnancy)  I still think that she BARELY shows...
Not at all! Where's John Rettino and some pillows?

- Continuity error.  As Donna leaves his office in the last scene, you see a purse strap fall off her shoulder but in the next frame it is back up there. Didn't notice. Thanks.

- Wes and April order refills on their drinks and don't touch them. Well, it wouldn't be Dallas otherwise.

- Phyllis listens to the radio at work?  Since when?  Since the writers needed her to.

AHN NIS's corner:

- When Wes was talking to Jeremy that was not the Weststar Building in the previous exterior shot. I assume it was his office anyway. I didn't notice.

- When Bobby returns he has no luggage. Maybe he was in too much of a hurry and left it behind. Why didn't he call the ranch or Ray to let someone know? Hey, you're right! I completely missed that! Or maybe it's still in the copter.

AHN Anne's corner:

- Even if you don't pay attention to the background music, you have to admit that today's score was grossly out of place. The opening sequence where they showed the house at night right after Miss Ellie came home from a dramatic climax in the storyline, the composer used disco! This was true throughout the entire episode--the wrong music at the wrong time. It was such a disgrace that I had to point it out. Everyone else did and was wondering what you would have to say.

- J.R. had someone following Parmalee. That would mean that his detective caught the whole buggy ride, right? If that's the case, then J.R. would have been more miffed that his mother was seen kissing Parmalee in public than just being with him! The fact that they were together could mean a lot of things, but that display of emotion at the end is pretty serious.
Hmm. Good point.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Couldn't the senator's secretary buzz him on an intercom to let him know the president was calling instead of barging in on a meeting? Certainly the senator could afford such simple technology that many businesses in Dallas have!
Yeah, but it's the President! It looks more dramatic this way.

- Okay, here's a big one.  During the Takapa resort conflict, when Ellie and the DOA wanted to stop the building of the resort, which Jock was in on, J.R. was preparing for a divorce of his parents, and fearing that Ewing Oil might be awarded to and sold off by his mother in whole or in part, J.R. made a deal with Jeremy Wendell to sell Ewing Oil to WestStar.  When Jock and Ellie didn't split up and the deal fell through, Jeremy was very upset because of the flak he had to take from his superiors.  But ever since then, there hasn't been any mention of anyone at WestStar above Jeremy, and he seems to be in charge of the whole thing.  At least, that's what I assumed because of his swift action in the many other Ewing Oil takeover deals, as well as his winning the Oil Man of the Year Award a while back (I should think they wouldn't give that award to "middlemen").  So what gives?  Was Jeremy suddenly promoted to president of WestStar, or what?
This is a great point. I believe that Jeremy has always been CEO of Weststar - that's a supposition but I believe that it is sound. The only people a CEO answers to is the Board of Directors of the company. Maybe that's who Wendell referred to as 'superiors' although they technically are not.

- If there was a "teaser" on the mercenary strike news (the one Phyllis told J.R. about), then why wasn't it the lead story?  Typically only the lead stories and top news are mentioned in teasers. Yet on the news show, the anchor is just finishing up another story before getting to the mercenary strike in Saudi Arabia. And the story isn't even acknowledged as a big story, but casually mentioned (a nit within a nit: the anchor seems to have an editorial slant in his report of the events, about everyone blaming the other.  A less partisan person would have said it in nicer euphemisms). Yes. Good points.

- A continuity error: Toward the end of the bar scene with Wes and April, as Wes says, "Makes me feel alive again," while smiling.  The shot immediately cuts to a two-shot of Wes and April, and suddenly, Wes isn't smiling any more, but has a straight look on his face.  Maybe he learned this technique from Grace. Perhaps. Good point.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Wes says that when he was in the hospital, things slowly started coming to him.  A while back, I remember Miss Ellie saying that Wes looked in his bag and realized who he was. Do you remember when? I'll check.

- If Wendell wants to tie up Ewing Oil in litigation, why does he tell Wes this?  Wes might not sell to him for this.  Windell should have just kept quiet. I agree. Maybe he doesn't anticipate Wes's change of heart.

- How did Cliff hear what April and Jack were saying about the sale of his 10% of Ewing Oil?  He was way too far away.  For all Cliff knew they could have just been arguing about their past marriage. He's got a sharp ear when he's being screwed. I agree.

- Ray tells Wes that Ellie is in the house.  How does he know she's in the house? And also convenient for him to be near the entrance to Southfork.

- Punk's wife tells everyone she saw Wes leaving when they were arguing and about to fight.  Why did she wait to tell them this until after they came out? She should have told them before they went into the house.
Ah, but then Wes couldn't get away, right? This was so lame.

Episode 236: The Fire Next Time

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: retired temporarily.

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

"He's [B.D Calhoun] not as dead as we all thought he was." -CIA guy to J.R.
What?? Is that like being kind of PREGNANT? He's not dead at all.

- For the new Poll of the Week, we're discussing [what else?] this whole Wes Parmalee intrigue. I'm asking you folks what you would have changed. I'm just saying that I have dibs on the Scooby-Doo ending. Wouldn't it be cool if Bobby came back with the Sheriff, and they grabbed Parmalee just as he was getting away? And then the Sheriff held him while Bobby took off his mask and said, "Now let's see who you really are." Then Punk would say, "Hey! That's Wyatt Haines! He was in South America with us!" And then the family would toss some banter around about the endangerment of Ewing Oil and how Parmalee would have had it all if his nefarious plan had succeeded. And then Wyatt would say, "And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!"
Think about it. Bobby could be Fred, the smart one; Pam could be Daphne, the sexy one who always wore the blue minidress. Sue Ellen could be Velma, the quietly intelligent one. JR could be Shaggy, making the smart comments; and Clayton could be Scooby! "Rokay, Rellie!"

- While I'm in a commentary mood, permit me one more. When Wendell threatened JR at the Oil Baron's Club, I just wish he would have retorted by wiggling his fingers and saying "OOOH! I'm so scared!"

- I know there's no reasoning with an enraged ox, but even Clayton should have been able to see that the guy at the bar is NOT Wes Parmalee. The hair is totally different, for one thing, and the guy at the bar was much shorter.

- Bobby refers to Fenton Washburn again. What happened to the Professor? Was he just temping?

- Charlie says she's fourteen. Hold on just a sec, little filly. Unless your mama's been lying to you, you were born in November of 1970 [Episode 152]. Since it is ostensibly late 1986, you should be sixteen or at least late fifteen. The only explanation is that time did not pass during Pam's dream and we are still in late 1985. But then how could Sue Ellen have given Ozwald Valentine a check dated July 1986 a few episodes ago?

AHN Kyle's corner:

- It's very convenient that Punk "forgets" about the whole 'Jock telling his entire life story while heavily fevered' thing. I'm sure he just merely neglected to mention it because he thought it was common knowledge (wink, wink).
I guess so. They at least tried to explain by saying Punk couldn't have known that Haines boarded the helicopter, but it was really lame.

- How, exactly, does Donna know about the Ewing BBQ? There are a couple of possiblities (but neither are terribly plausible): 1. The "annual" BBQ takes place on the exact same date every year. 2. Donna called and talked to Miss Ellie (or Bobby or J.R). But does she usuallly do this on a regular basis? Maybe Ray told her. Or Jenna. :)

- At the Cattleman's Club J.R orders his usual, and then April order a tonic water. Not a gin and tonic or some other drink with tonic water in it, just tonic water. You may not think this is a nit, but nobody drinks tonic water straight! Simply put: it's the vilest tasting beverage you can possibly imagine (which explains its primary function is to be mixed drinks, not alone).
I know. I used to drink tonic water straight when I was small because I too young to know any better. Then my taste buds rebelled. So now I stick to Diet Coke [and I'm eating some new kind of nuts that my mom brought home, and I'm packing an unbelievable buzz right now...whoah. I hope I'm still lucid.]

- Why are Jenna and Charlie just standing there holding the dishes when Donna comes in? I know they're trying to greet Donna, but the way there just frozen there is kind of freaky. Agreed. Just like JR yesterday.

- Ray offers Donna a coffee, and even though she doesn't look it, Donna is pregnant. Silly cowboy! Coffee + Pregnant Lady = Bad for baby! Well, coffee's not TERRIBLE. It's better than booze. Ask Sue Ellen.

- Alright, now about Sue Ellen's analogy near the end of the episode. "Asking a Ewing not to fight is like asking a horse not to grow wings" kind of makes sense (in the sense that both a Ewing and a horse can't do what is asked of them) but it's just not... just not... a very good analogy. [here comes the english lecture] When you make an analogy, you are supposed to link to dissimilar things together by finding a common link. What Sue Ellen does is not quite the same. A better second part to the analogy (in place of that horse junk) would be " like asking the sun not to rise in the morning" (not bad, eh?). I guess what it really comes down to is that Sue Ellen's line was just... bad.

AHN Todd's corner:

- JR is understandably happy that the whole Wes Parmalee charade is over. But it does seem weird that he is actually celebrating the fact that his father is still dead. Well, in his case, better dead than alive. I hear what you're saying though. Wouldn't it have been great if the lie detector guy had asked Wes "Are you Takapa?"

- Punk seems sort of stupid.  Don't you think that he should have brought up the fact that Jock was rambling about his life when he was with that fever.  Punk could never figure out how someone could know so much about Jock's life, then he suddenly remembers that Jock was telling people about his life in great detail.  Must be old timer's eh Punk?!
I know. I just shook my head.

- Clayton is talking to Ellie about what happened with Wes Parmalee.  Ellie tells Clayton that she is "so tired".  I'm sure that she is tired of what was happening, but it seems that she is physically tired.  She doesn't look like it. Does she not realize that it is about 5pm?  She doesn't get up until late the next morning, maybe Dr.Danvers "gave her a little sedative".
I think you might be right! LOL

- I don't appreciate the way Clayton says "My family".  ie Wes Parmalee is trying to tear apart my family.  Ellie is his only real family, and I understand that he is trying to be the loving step father, but maybe he should say "our family" or "your family".  Come on Clayton, don't be so damn selfish! I found this weird too, in an oxy sort of way.

- Some one comented on Sue Ellen's stained teeth.  I agreed.  Looks like she got ahold of some whitener, cuz they are much shinier today. Yup. I noticed too.

- Maybe JR talks to way more people on the phone than I do, but I immediately recognized Calhouns voice.
So did I. Maybe he was just saying this to play coy [but that would be very un-JR-like.]

AHN Jason's corner:

- Theresa still calls Ellie Mrs Farlow.   Does she go back and forth on this or what? Did she? I missed that. Thanks.

- This could be a nit but I thought Phyllis buzzed Horner into JR's office while he was talking to Sly.  But later in the show, Sly tells Ellie that Phyllis is out. Could be two different times.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Right before the scene with J.R. and Sly in the office, the Ewing Oil establishing shot is the same one that I have pointed out several times now (that yellow and white bus is the main tipoff). Did it happen again? Wow.

- I seem to remember J.R. having a cell phone.  Why can't Ellie reach him on that when she needs to talk to him about Clayton? Very convenient. Maybe he forgot to make the payments.

- After Ellie finds Clayton, she asks for two coffees, but doesn't say how she wants those coffees. Good call! I missed that.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Punk starts talking about Jock having the fever and saying things.  But he said this yesterday, when everyone could hear him.  I guess the writers just wanted to remind us. Can you smell the cabbage? In all fairness, he's telling everyone now, including Ellie.

- While in Washington, Donna says that every now and then she thinks of Dallas.  She makes it sound like she's been gone forever.  She hasn't. No [sigh]. It just seems that way.

- When Ellie calls Ewing Oil, Sly says she doesn't know where J.R. is (convenient -- like he wouldn't tell her where he was going to be) and she says Phyllis isn't in (also convenient).  Sly could try looking on Phyllis's desk to see if she has an appointment down for Bobby. Very convenient. Good call.

- What would make Clayton think Wes would still be in town?  And if he was, I doubt he'd be sitting around a bar.
And have a bad haircut. I agree.

- It's what -- Dec. 1986 or January 1987?  They had carphones back then, and I'm sure a rich family like the Ewings would have had one.  Because then Ellie could have tried to reach Clayton in the car and talk him out of it.
Well, to go your previous nit, JR had a cell phone a few episodes ago. Convenience, again.

- Also about talking him out of it, instead of sitting in her chair and yelling, "Clayton,," Ellie could try getting out of her chair and running after Clayton to try and stop him.

- If J.R. wanted immunity and protection, he should have signed a document. Like he'd be so stupid to give away information and not have anything on paper.

- Backtracking a bit, why did Clayton take so long to go after Wes?  If he wanted to catch him, he should have gone to find him right after he found out the news -- not a day later.   Waiting to hear what Wes said to Miss Ellie wouldn't do anything.

- If Harry McSween could tell J.R. where Clayton was, why couldn't he tell J.R. how Clayton was -- if he was okay or not?

- Also, I thought J.R. was going with Bobby and Miss Ellie to go and see Clayton.   But when Bobby and Ellie arrived there, J.R. wasn't in sight. I guess JR got the message and wanted to stay out of Ellie's way.

- When Jenna and Charlie are eating at Ray's house, Jenna tells Charlie to go get her bookbag out of the stables.  Stables?  Why were they in the stables?  And why would she bring her bookbag to Ray's house?  She should have left it at home.   I doubt she came straight from school -- they having dinner when we see them. Perhaps Jenna picked her up and took her straight over. It's not like Jenna has anything better to do...and I don't know why Charlie's books were in the stables. Probably left them there in her haste to find Darius.

- I don't remember Miss Ellie telling Clayton about Wes and passing the lie detector test.   But he says she did tell him.  She only talked to him once and didn't mention anything about a lie detector, and then he left to find Wes.

- When Sue Ellen is talking to Pam about the lunch they had, Pam says, "I remember."  Well, Pam, I hope you'd remember.  It's a recent lunch you had.

Episode 237: So Shall Ye Reap

- I'd really like to know how Mr. Gordon [and Calhoun] got into JR's office before he or Sly had arrived in the morning. The only possibility is that Calhoun convinced Gordon to come with him to 'surprise' JR and somehow snuck them in. But I would imagine that Gordon would be mighty suspicious at this.

- Also, I found it strange that April knows the phone number at her brand new apartment. It's possible that the number is written somewhere on the phone but she doesn't even seem to take a look for it.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I was confused by Bobby's lack of knowledge of Christopher's going on field trips before..  Strange that he wasn't aware that his own son went on trips before- He had to ask Pam if it was true.
Well, he wasn't around during much of Christopher's formative years, right?

- Donna and Ellie's scene was a bit weak.  You'd think Ms. Ellie would object more to her good friend leaving the ranch.  Also you'd think that Ellie could get up and give her a hug when she leaves.  Weak effort.

- Something about the way Ray's  lawyer spoke of the divorce hearing didn't settle right...I am not sure if this is what Ray was arguing for with his lawyer but I would be very surprised that a father wouldn't have visitation rights to see his kid.  Having custody may be trickier but he should have visitiation rights.
I think he would, but then the problem is that his child would be in Washington. So he would have the right to visit the child, but what we he do? Go to Washington every two weeks?

- April apparently walked to her bank, since she took the ride with Wendell. Maybe because of the hard times she is having, she decided to sell whatever car she had when she got to Dallas.... Did she have a car? Maybe she swam :)

- JR takes April to her new apartment and surprises her with it as a gift. Then he just leaves. How is she going to get home to pack her things? Now that she's got some money she might be able to make arrangements to get her stuff moved - like bathing suits and rubber duckies and other unmentionables.

AHN Clint's corner:

- Not really a nit, but Ray is wearing a unmatching suit (not really, just dark slacks and a grey jacket) when he sees Donna and is not wearing his hat. When he goes to see the lawyer, he is wearing a matching suit and wearing his cowboy hat. Why he forgets to wear his hat to Donna's office is beyond me. Maybe he decided to go home and change to go talk to the lawyer. Then again, maybe it represents another day. I think it does.

-How come JR arrives to his office before his staff?
And how come Gordon got into his office before anyone was there?

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Now, about Sly's scream. I guess she might be upset about a man lying on the floor of J.R's office, but for all she knows, he could just have passed out or something. There's no blood, nothing gruesome at all, so why exactly does Sly scream? I guess because the scene called for it. Didn't think about this. Good call.

- Pam and Cliff seem to stumble over the mathematics of Cliff's blown deal. Cliff says he invested (actually Pam invested) 13 million dollars, then he says Marilee Stone bought it for 5 million dollars. Pam then says something to the effect of "that's 6 million dollars!" Actually, no Pam, that's $8 million. So while Cliff says that he'll scrounge up the $3.5 mil (6 less the 1/2 to Jack and 2 to Jamie) he actually need to get $5.5 million.
Pam said "That's 7 million dollars!", as in Marilee gave Cliff 7 million dollars. Cliff is actually lying to Pam about how much he got from Marilee, but she knows the truth.

- If Bobby and J.R can get a half a billion dollar credit line, why can't Cliff get a loan for just upwards of $10 million? [because he's a Barnes...]. Sure, he might already have taken out a loan, but if he's willing to put up some collateral I'm sure he could get some more cash. Frankly, because Barnes Wentworth isn't worth that much, I think. It really is small potatoes compared to Ewing Oil. That's why Cliff is so afraid Pam will leave.

- The lie detector expert says that the only way Parmalee could have faked his way through the test would be if he were a pathological liar. He then goes on to define pathological as someone who doesn't know the difference between a lie and the truth. I don't really think that's accurate. A pathological liar is someone who can't help lying (it's something they can't control) but I don't they think they necessarily believe what there saying is the truth. This is sort of a murky area...
Very murky. I see your point.

- Okay, Weststar is seemingly worth tens of billions of dollars, but it's only the 8th biggest oil company in the country? That seems pretty weird. Isn't Texas the oil capital of America? While it's possible that there are 7 bigger firms in Texas (and possibly Alaska, although not likely) I find that unlikely (why haven't any of the bigger corporations been involved in the show? Also J.R speaks so reverentially of Westar, as if it's the Holy Grail of the oil industry). Also, if Westar is only 8th in the country, and it's ten times bigger (at least) than Ewing Oil, that makes J.R's and Bobby's operation seem almost pedestrian (ie. not a
major player), and I refuse to believe that. Also April says that Weststar has the biggest something or other (I can't remember what specifically) in all of the Southwest. This makes for some confusion.
They have the biggest oil reserve in the Southwest. This is very confusing. Let me think about it.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- I don't know if this is really a nit, but didn't J.R. just give Sly a raise for her new position as a president for one of his corporations? Now he's giving her another one? Either he forgot, or he's really anxious to keep Sly from suspecting anything.
I think the latter is true.

- Hey, did you notice?  Donna has the adoption lady's glasses!  Maybe this should be added to the tote board as another Pam prediction in her dream... Really? I did not notice this. Wow.

- Pam threatens to stop backing Cliff financially, but how can she do that legally?   I thought, under the terms of the contract buying 25% of B-W Oil, she was obligated to provide Cliff with a line of credit for as much as he needed.  I suppose she doesn't have to be forced to give Cliff money, but wouldn't it be difficult for her to cut Cliff off as far as the contract goes?
Maybe that part of it was just understood and not legally binding. She could easily sell her 25% and be under no obligation.

- Alright, maybe I can accept the ox Clayton having little idea how non-foolproof lie detector tests are, but the polygraph expert??? Contrary to his statement, someone does not have to be a pathological liar or psycho to trick the polygraph.  There are many physical tricks to beat it (i.e., putting a pin in one's shoe and stepping on the pin while answering; also taking a deep breath; etc.), and someone with their emotions especially under control could beat it as well without having to have psychological problems. This was bizarre. I don't know what they were trying to prove.

- Well not only is Ray a lowdown, two-timing, antagonistic, half-breed snake, but he's also a hypocrite.  While he agrees with Jenna and wants Bobby to stay out of the life of his and Jenna's baby, Ray is especially adamant about being in the life of his own child. I remember disliking Ray, Jenna, Donna, Charlie, and the whole quadrangle so badly because of all of this self-serving hypocrisy. Just like I dislike Pam's overprotective angle right now. It's ridiculous.

AHN Jake's corner:

- What's the deal with Christopher going on field trips?  Isn't he too young to be in school?  And if it was in daycare, why would they take him on field trips?   Just a little confused. This is iffy...even in kindergarten, there's field trips, although they're usually no more than a mile or two away.

- J.R. says he's going to get April a lawyer.  I assume the lawyer would be for her case against Jack.  But I thought she already had a lawyer. I don't recall. You could be right.

- Why does J.R. give Sly a hard drink after she just saw a dead man?  She was very upset.  I think water or coffee would be better. You're probably right.

- Bobby says to J.R. he is going home for his special dinner with Christopher.  Does this not include Pam?  This was kind of weird. Maybe it's a father/son thing. Who knows? Personally, if I were Bobby I might want to exclude Pam from these things once in a while.

- If Clayton is amazed how Wes passed the lie detector, shouldn't he be more amazed that Wes's back and Jock's back matched -- bullet marks and all? Now that's a feat!  The only thing that I can think of is that 'Dallas' originally planned for Wes to really be Jock. You are right, but public outcry against this prevented it from happening.

- Bobby tells Christopher not to be embarrassed to say "I love you." What's so embarrassing about that?
It's a guy thing. Maybe Bobby and Jock never really hugged...

- That lawyer whom Ray went to see was an idiot.  Ray tells him he and Donna are getting a divorce, she plans to move to Washington, and she's pregnant; then Ray asks what his rights are.  Then the lawyer asks what Ray means.  What does he mean? Ray was being very clear; he couldn't pick up on what he wanted.
Just to make the conversation a little more dramatic, I guess. Silly.

Episode 238: Tick Tock

- When Bobby arrives at his office and finds BD Calhoun there in his 'cleaning guy' disguise, his computer monitor is showing a graph or something. So does that mean Bobby left his computer on all night? If he hadn't, he would have immediately suspected something, right?

- Sue Ellen used to MODEL? Huh? At least, that's what she tells this Barton guy. I just can't imagine this.

Val Martin pointed out [astutely as always]: Clayton's Rolls.  Why on earth did he drive that expensive car out to the mud-covered farmyard???  He should have a pickup truck for that.  He can afford it.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I find it hard to believe that the CIA would be this unhelpful with the whole Calhoun thing. Sure, JR brought in on himself, but B.D is still terrorizing him. The least the CIA could do would be to inform the FBI.
And what would they do? If they got involved, it would be like admitting responsibilty on their part - or at least that they were involved. I don't think the CIA or FBI like to admit anything about what they do. I daresay this is art imitating life.
To which Kyle responded: Hmmm. I don't know about this. I can see how they (the CIA) doesn't  want to be blamed for the deaths of many Americans (even if they were mercenaries), but I still think they could have some involvement without
informing the public. Why not just pretend that JR only approached them after Calhoun began harassing him? Couldn't they just JR some form of protection (like a couple of bodyguards)? And shouln't SOMEBODY be  looking for the elusive B.D Calhoun (even if its just local lawmen)? He's still a criminal, isn't he? To summarize, I think there's ways to be involved without actually being implicated (if that makes any sense at all). For every situation, there's levels of involvement, and for this situation I think a minimal level should be deemed necessary by the CIA (or FBI).

- Apparently the DALLAS men aren't the only ones that are sexist. Jenna: "A child's place is with her mother". What the hell was that? I know she's upset about the Bobby issue, but come on Jenna, this is the 1980s (not the 1880s).
I almost want to refuse to comment on Ray and Jenna because those two deserve each other and their self-serving hypocrisy. These characters have become totally dimensionless. Sorry, let me correct that: they have one dimension and it is that they are LAME.

- Pam is freaking INSANE! Yes she's upset about Jenna and Bobby's child but the whole trust fund freak out was too much. The trust fund (besides being a very classy action) is a fairly victimless deed (it doesn't have to involve any interaction between Jenna and Bobby). Then, when Pam asked "what about Christopher?" (clearly implying that Christopher would be impoverished by Bobby's act of generosity), I just shook my head. You're the FREAKING Ewings! Richer than God, remember? Also, I find Pam's shrill "upset voice" nearly unbearable.
Absolutely agreed. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but it almost makes Mandy sound bearable. :)

- So 30% of Wentworth Tool and Dye is worth $6 million. Okay, so the entire operation is worth... $20 million. That seems fairly low for a supposedly vital corporation. Cliff seemed to be implying that 30% was in fact NOT worth a mere $6 mil, but it couldn't have been that far off (why did Wendell pick 30%, I don't think it was just a random number). Also, I don't ever remember Cliff getting his share of WT+D back from Katherine (way back when...).
Yes, and when he sold his share to Katherine, she said it was worth $ 25 million. Either the company has hit hard times [not unlikely because they're so closely tied to the struggling oil industry] or Wendell is really playing hardball with Cliff. And I also don't remember Cliff getting his share back - although he gave it to Katherine just a few days before she was arraigned for shooting Bobby and then disappeared, so it's possible that those contracts were never signed or finalized.

- It seems as though Jenna never did any physical activity before she got pregnant (sexual activity excluded, she was even too lazy to go to work). Yet now, pregnant with child, she's all over the activity scene: bowling, roller skating, horseback riding, skydiving [ok, made that one up]. Seems like it should be the other way around.
Agreed. In the immortal words of Sue Ellen, "that's what she's there for, that's what she's good for."

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why did JR go through that whole scene at the restraunt with Sly and Harry? If anything, Sly would be more likely to blab about the body once she thinks all is well again...
I don't think she'll blab about it...but I see your point. A little fear is a good thing.

- April seems pretty upset that Cliff says Jamie is in LA. It is a big place but it wouldn't be THAT hard to track down a EWING. I think she's just upset that she's going to have to leave that cozy apartment of hers.

- This may or may not be a nit.   But as Sen Dowling says to Donna, she doesn't need to be in TX because the Texans already back her views, so she should be in Wash, D.C.   lobbying.   She apparently agrees with him on this since she heads back very soon afterwards.  My question:  If she is needed so much in DC, why did she set up an office in Dallas? You know, the one that she was in yesterday during her fight with Ray.  Why have a home base so far from where the action is and where she is expected to be doing her lobbying?
This is a good question, and I have a good answer...but I'm struggling to figure out what it is...oh yeah! Okay, see, she has to spend some time in Dallas, and she needs a place to do 'official' stuff like meet with oil men and what not. [Unlike some people, I think Donna is at least classy enough not to invite Congressmen and Senators to meet at her house]. So that's why she needs a Dallas office. Just for appearance's sake.

- Charlie stays up to 11 bowling with friends.  If this was a weekend night I would be more OK with a "14" year old (who must be pushing 16 by now) doing this.   But she mentions to Jenna that her homework is done.  This seems to imply that it is a weeknight.  (If it was a weekend night, it would not matter if she had finished the work, since she'd have the next day to do it. ) small nit but worth noting..
Aah! Yes. Something bothered me about this but I couldn't put my finger on it. Thank you.

- I found it strange that Sue Ellen nor Pam mentioned the time she dropped her purse when they talk about her lost car keys.... I mean the purse's contents spilled out all over the pavement.   Seems to me that would be the most likely place for the keys to have been lost.   But no..  they talk about the restraunt then "golly   geez, I have no idea where they could be".......
Just a bit farfetched.

- Wendell wants CLiff's 30% of Wentworth Tool and Die..   I thought he had 33 1/3 %..  (1/3 of the company)   and I would think with Katherine hiding in Europe that he and Pam would split her share..  I mean she CAN'T be running the company while on the lam, can she?  (I mentioned a similar point Season 8 when Mark returns while Pam is on the phone with the Chairman of the Board)
Maybe Wendell is rounding. Kyle pointed out something similar, although his focus was how much the company was worth. Here's my possible scenario: Cliff agreed to sell his share to Katherine just before she shot Bobby because he was in need of cash, right? Then Kathy shot her beloved hunk and after a few days was carted off to arraignment court and then fled the country. I propose that their agreement was never finalized, so Cliff held on to his share. It is possible.
As for 'running' the company - well, heck, neither Pam nor Cliff 'run' the company. They own the company, but I'm sure there's a President overlooking day-to-day operations. This is very murky, and I'm sure the writers would have hoped that after nearly three years we would have forgotten about this.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Why did Sue Ellen and Pam let their children run so far ahead of them on that busy Dallas sidewalk?  Is Dallas really that safe, that kids can just run all over the place?  Or perhaps some of Pam's inept motherhood rubbed off on Sue Ellen so the two can have a private conversation at the convenience of the writers (come to think of it, it is a common tactic on Dallas for adults to ignore their children completely when they have a conversation). Yes, you are right.

- Ray tells Charlie to take four steps when she bowls, but when he demonstrates, he clearly takes five (he doesn't count the first one). Really? This is great! I didn't notice.

AHN Clint's corner:

- Calhoun makes his appearence by distracting Sue Ellen and stealing her keys. They looked like carkeys only, so why steal them, unless you're going to bomb the car. I believe that we are suposed to believe that he stole the keys for that special key that got him into a side door at Southfork.
Yes, someone pointed out that the whole thing is pretty hokey since it's clear that Calhoun could get into Southfork any time he wanted to, keys or not. That great Ewing security again...

- Why is Calhoon in Bobby's office? What purpose does it serve? The only person that knows who Calhoon really is, is of course JR. So why is Calhoon stalking Bobby? I believe there's an answer to this but we don't know yet.

- Ray may be a ogre, and maybe I have never had a child-- but I kind of agree with Ray about his child. Then again, I can't
belive Ray can't see that Jenna and Donna both have the same problem: The father cares about the child, but not about them. At least when JR and Bobby are self centered its with class, Ray just acts like a ogre and cries "WHAT ABOUT ME!"
Yes. This angle is so damn lame.

Episode 239: Night Visitor

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

"Wes Parmalee did a wrong thing." - Clayton to Ray

Not really linked to anything, but the sentence is so poorly constructed (gramatically) that I only have one thing to say: pure Ox.

- I don't have much to say about this episode except I thought it was hilarious! I'll leave it to the AHNs.

From Bruce Sinclair:

- Anyone catch that JR had his Rolex on when he got up from bed after defusing the bomb in #239?  Hell, I wouldn't take that damn thing off either!....While I'm on a roll: JR was supposed to have been a decorated Army officer in Vietnam so it is not out of the question that he knows something about handling explosives.
Good points. Was it mentioned somewhere that JR was decorated? In the Dallas book, he was just a medical administrator.

- Senator Dowling saying to Donna "See you in church" is typical smart ass East Coast sarcasm, I guess Donna dosen't appear to be enough of a swinger for the good Senator ( God, he's got that right! Get away while you still can, Dowling, you may be whined to death any minute now!!) I think you're right.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Does JR always sleep so fitfully? It sure is mighty convenient that he wakes up just before one (although clearly Calhoun didn't intend to kill him, or else why have the beeper?) Hard to say. You're right.

- Does JR have any experience with the Dallas Bomb Squad? How does he know that it won't detonate when he tampers with it? It all seems to casual. Absolutely right.

- Southfork has a burglar alarm? That's news to me. I've never heard anyone set it off (or for that matter, set it). OH HELL YEAH. Burglar alarm, my ass.

- Miss Ellie to Jenna: "I wanted to call you." So why didn't you? At least give her a reason Ellie (like "you were acting like Kyle's mom") Ditto. And of course you mean South Park Kyle, not yourself.

- Miss Ellie and Jenna meeting on a street corner? How low class is that? Couldn't they afford a nice sit down meal at Arby's? Maybe BBG is undercover. You're right! Hmm. I guess she is undercover because she's not in any other scenes.

- Clayton's detectives made inquiries in 4 states! Ooooooooh! Wow, 4 states! That's almost one-tenth of the country! The real reason Clayton's detective refuses to look for Parmalee is that he's too freaking lazy! I got the same impression. Seriously. I think the guy just didn't want to do it.

- How is Ray's lawyer going to get out of Ray's driveway? it looks as though Jenna's got him boxed in. I can't remember, though, if Ray has a circular driveway or not (does he?).
I don't think so. This was very weird.

- The TV in JR's office (the one showing Calhoun's image frozen on the screen) looks so FAKE! It's borderline ridiculous.
Maybe it's one of those new Sony ones like in the commercial where that kid watches the woman undress and it turns out it's a TV picture.

- Ummm. I don't think pictures of a TV screen turn out so well. When I was a kid I tried to take pictures of a baseball game (w/out showing the TV frame) so that it looked like I was actually there. Needless to say it didn't work out so well. It has something to do with the flash reflecting on the screen I think (or maybe the pixelation). Either way, a polaroid of a TV screen won't make for the best mug shot of Calhoun. Agreed. I noticed right away.
AHN Matt added: The reason why the picture of BD Calhoun on JR's tv looked so fake was because images traveling to a tv screen show up 24 times a second.  When a movie camera (like the one used to film Dallas, or regular movies) photographs these images, it is at a rate of 30 images per second.  So, JR's TV had a blank screen, and the editors on Dallas superimposed a picture of BD on the TV. If there was an actual picture of Calhoun on JR's TV, the TV camera (and the Polaroid that JR used to take a picture) would photograph the picture, and there would be a thick gray line horizontally on the screen.  I'm not sure about the exact numbers, but this is why the picture looked fake, and why JR couldn't have taken a Polaroid of it.

- The guy at the shooting range was clearly watching JR shoot w/out the headset on. Maybe he should have warned him BEFORE he shot. Was he trying to teach JR a very important lesson? ("ha ha, you're DEAF!")
Yes. This was lame. But funny.

- Hmmmm. Maybe pregnant ladies can have coffee, but alcohol is a definite no no (Donna!) Ever heard of FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome)? Ooh! I didn't catch this. Excellent.

- I really like Sly, but sometimes she's a freaking baby! Why is she crying? Is it the gun or the fact that Bobby shouted at her? Either way: grow up. Agreed. But this was funny too. [Maybe she needs Mandy to come back and...oh, well, let's not go there.]

- Doesn't JR have a lock on his office door? That way Bobby woudln't be able to waltz in and find JR waving a gun. My theory: he left the door unlocked on purpose because subconsciously he really wnats to tell his brother about the Calhoun thing. Let me here an OH HELL YEAH for Freud! [I can't hear you]. OH HELL YEAH!

- Something's not right with the coffee cup that Sue Ellen drinks from. The mug that Calhoun drugs seems to be a lot more full than the one from which Sue Ellen drinks. I'll check this again. You're probably right.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Did anyone else think the music that played as JR defuses the bomb was coming from a radio on it?  I did at first.   Kinda inappropriate for the suspense of this situation. It was very weird.

- Who minds Barnes Wentworth while Cliff, Pam  and Jackie are gone? Is the Phantom of Ewing Oil doing overtime now?
Hey, you're right!

AHN Joe O's corner:

- Did you notice how fake the scenery looked in the scene in which Bobby is in the pool?  This was the season where the budget cuts kicked in and it is starting to show. Didn't really notice but I'm sure you're right.

- Are we supposed to be surprised that Donna would have complications wit her pregnancy?   This woman is apparently always on the go, rarely sleeps and might still indulge in a drink from time to time as the restaurant scene showed (kind of).
Yes. The drinking didn't hit me until Kyle pointed it out. Jason says that he's pretty sure it is a water glass that Donna is drinking from in her restaurant scene with Dave...The liquid is colorless in a glass that looks too large to be a white wine glass  (water glasses are bigger than wine glasses)

AHN Jake's corner:

- After Christopher gets out of the pool (the first tme), he walks into the house dripping wet.  And Pam doesn't say a thing to him.  Not that it's that bad what he did, but you would think Pam would say something.
Pam just doesn't care any more. I don't get it.

- Cliff says he's going to get some video games for Christopher at the office.  Cliff makes it seem like he's going to hook them up to the computer. Video games don't work on the computer.  And as for computer games, they didn't make many computer games in 1987.  I don't think Jackie's computer could handle everything she does and games.   Very weird.
Oh, they made games all right. Not too much that you could buy, but there were a few. I think Cliff just wants to placate his nephew and endear himself to Pam.

- In the parking garage, Senator Dowling tells Donna he'll see her at church. What church?   Is this a name for some political meeting or are they really talking about church?   Very odd. I don't know. This is odd.

- The drug that Calhoun slipped in Sue Ellen's coffee was fairly visible. It didn't seem to mix in with the coffee very well.  I think there's a chance Sue Ellen would have noticed it. Kyle pointed out that the liquid level in the cup in the close-up is much higher than when there's no close-up, too.

AHN Mike's corner:

-For the first time in the history of Dallas, Miss Ellie was dressed more attractively than one of the other females. Notice in the scene where she meets Jenna, Jenna is wearing another one of those hideous outfits the boutique buyer forced her to keep and Miss Ellie is in a typical sack dress that looks haute couture by comparison.
Well, Jenna can make anyone look good right now.

- Somebody made reference to this episode's pool scene. In the last two Southfork pool scenes it is clear that these were filmed on a studio set with a very cheap backdrop. I have a 61" TV and DirecTV and you can't imagine how chintzy this phony set looks with a crystal clear picture blown up that large. Thanks for the exposition.

- Speaking of chintzy, Jeremy Wendell's office is very small, cheap and chintzy looking for a big wheel like him. And against his character since everything else we've seen about him is very elegant and ostentatious (e.g. his landscaped pool cum manservant, his stretch limo cum chauffeur, etc.). And I agree with you, Jeremy is my favorite Dallas heel. One flaw in the normally shrewd JR's character is he doesn't seem to understand just how powerful Wendell is and the potential havoc he>and Weststar could wreak on Ewing Oil.
Absolutely agreed on all counts. Even Carter McKay has a better office when he takes over.

- I know the adoption hassle over his manslaughter conviction came during the dream season and this isn't top of mind since it never happened, but Ray and his lawyer need to get a clue because the conviction is still there. Ray has no chance of getting custody of his unborn child with his record and his lawyer (who defended him in that case) ought to know that and advise him not to bother instead of telling him to wait until it comes before a judge.
Excellent point! I hadn't even considered this. There might be a slight difference because that was adoption and this is Ray's natural child, but it would still weigh heavily against Ray.

Episode 240: Cat and Mouse

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle:]

April to JR: "Doesn't it bother you that Jack is millions of miles away?"
Ummm, is Jack an astronaut? Because that's the only way he's going to get a million miles away.

- Donna must have had a lot of spare time on her hands. While recuperating in the hospital, she got her hair done.

- Not only that, but the hospital nurse was very cooperative, don't you think? She must have read the script and realized she forgot something so that Donna and Senator Dowling can talk.

- There's some poor continuity during the final Jenna/Charlie scene. At one point, Charlie is looking up at the sky because her mother is being such a Mrs. Broslofski. Then suddenly there's a cut and she's looking right into Jenna's face.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Cole Slaw alert...massive cabbaging by April in her first scene with JR. She goes on and on about it...
Well, she had little else to do but put on that catsuit.

- I doubt a regular camera would pick up such detail as the name of a hotel stitched on a bath towel...  Did BD use a telephoto lens with his naughty pics of Sue Ellen?
I don't know about this because I know so little about photography. It's a good question.

- Speaking of which, he sure got those developed and sent to JR lickety split..  I didn't know they had overnight processing back in 1987. Must be nice being a Ewing. He mentioned something about a lab - maybe he went to a specialist.

- Note-  Jenna disproves the theory that a woman pregnant can't have PMS. Megabitch mode with Charlie--  and Charlie was acting perfectly adult about it!! It's so sad to see a woman go through Ray withdrawal. I wonder if Pam, Sue Ellen, Lucy, or Donna had the Krebbs shakes after they stopped pawning their honor to him.

- This seems to be a night of numbed characters...  first Sue Ellen barely reacts with JR shows her pictures of herself being molested by some weird guy.  She remains perfectly calm through most of the speech.  I would think she'd cry more or something..  but then later we see her and she is a bit more upset about it ..   but not the way I would have thought someone would have after that kind of ordeal. Yes. That struck me as ridiculous. For all she knows, she's carrying Peter Duncan's baby and has lost a kidney. This would worry me.

- Later on she talks to JR mostly by looking in the mirror.  Several of her lines would be ones I would expect her to look him in the 'real' face about, not his reflection in a mirror.
Maybe there's a subtle message here...I don't know about this.

- I doubt JR is one to know of whether or not BD raped Sue Ellen. He doesn't really know how BD's mind or revenge plans work...  If he did, he would have known that the meeting with his middle man was not going to work..He may just be saying this to reassure Sue Ellen but it is worth noting.
Well, when he arranged the first meeting with Calhoun, he was still under the impression that BD could be bought. Then I think he realized what real danger he and his family were in. I'll have to think about that.

- Another too calm cast member..   Bobby doesn't even flinch when Jr tells him that his middle man was killed in the chair Bobby was sitting in.  If it was me, I would have jumped up or jerked suddenly or something...  anything.. Yes. I agree.

- Sue Ellen wears a bathrobe in bed.   A nightgown would have been more comfortable.  It looks like Pam may sleep in one too as she has hers on when she goes to bed with Bobby. Sue Ellen might be excused for this because of her wicked headache. Pam...who can explain Pam anymore?

AHN Jake's corner:

- After Clayton is done talking to Ray on the phone and Ray explains to him that Donna is okay, everyone asks how Donna is.  Clayton was speaking clearly and kind of loudly, and they should have been able to tell from his responses that Donna was okay. Good call!

- And Theresa has a hair change too!  That's two, and it's not even the start of a season. Didn't notice. Thanks.

- Did Dave Culver come to the hospital just to say that visiting hours are over?  He walked right into the room and said it.  Why would he say this anyway?  Wouldn't he want to spend as much time with Donna as possible? But if so, why wasn't he in the room in the first place? Dave Culver is confusing. So many things bothered me about his presence that I thought I'd leave it alone. I'm glad you picked up on it.

- A few moments after Dave Culver reminds Donna and Ray that visiting hours are over, he exits the room.  Yet a few minutes later we cut to the hallway outside, with both Ray and Dave walking out of the room. Really? How did I miss this?

- Earlier in the evening, Pam says to Bobby that maybe Sue Ellen and J.R. are out together.  Bobby doesn't think so.  Then later on up in their bedroom, when Bobby suggests this, Pam says she doesn't believe that.  Both of them need to make up their minds (Again, I hate complaining about Pam or Bobby -- they go so well together). Yes. It's such a shame that their scenes are reduced to talking about other people rather than each other. I miss the good old days. Even when they argued, it was good.

- When Charlie asks Jenna why they haven't seen Ray lately, Jenna says that Ray's a busy man.  Then Charlie says, "You didn't answer my question." Yes, Charlie, she did; Jenna told you Ray is a busy man. I know what you mean, but Jenna didn't answer the *real* question.

- When Bobby comes into J.R.'s office to talk about what's going on with the gun and the security, he doesn't shut the door.  And J.R. doesn't ask him to. You'd think that they wouldn't want anyone to hear what was going on. Excellent point.

- When the phone rings in Cliff's apartment, he quickly picks it up and then hangs it up.   Yet the person doesn't call back.  And it's not like there wasn't enough time for the person to call back before the end of the scene; the conversation with Cliff and the woman went on for about 15 to 20 seconds more. Another excellent point. I must have been sleeping.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- 8 PM seems pretty late for the Ewings to be eating dinner (especially since I think it's a weeknight). I refer to the events right at the beginning of the episode. I thought so too, but we're not sure what day of the week it is. Maybe it's a daylight savings time issue.

- What's this? Pam called ALL the hospitals and bars? In Dallas? Whoa. I'm sure she means all the bars where Sue Ellen used to go but there's 2 problems with that: 1. She doesn't say that, and 2. Drunks are by definition fairly unreliable, who's to say what sleazy joint Sue Ellen would visit? Good call.

- JR says something to the effect of "Where were you? The brewery?" Now, now JR, that's not Sue Ellen's style. Maybe "Russian distillery" would have been a better fit... LOL!

- Those photos of Sue Ellen were pretty revealing... Yes, they were. Though I agree with JR that raping Sue Ellen wouldn't be Calhoun's style, he does have testosterone in his system, right? Sue Ellen's no Pam but under the circumstances, if I were Calhoun, she wouldn't leave the hotel room without a significant percentage of my body fluids all over her.

- It looks as though Charlie takes a purse to school (in lieu of a school bag). Now I'm not very in touch with my feminine side but shouldn't she bring a bag for her books? Just bringing a purse seems fairly inconvenient.
Hmm. Maybe her book bag's by the door...I see your point.

- It seemed silly for JR to read the "thought you'd like to know where your wife was last night" out loud. Sly and Phyllis were there. They don't need to know about that kind of personal stuff (at least Sly didn't cry).
Well, he was in his office...but you're right. Jake also mentioned that when Bobby confronts JR about Calhoun, he doesn't close the door. Do I hear Sly whimpering? [Mandy, come back...oh, wait, I said we wouldn't go there].

- Pam is simply not stupid enough to fall for Cliff's feud-ending rhetoric. And yet she tells Cliff what Ewing Oil is pursuing. This is not very consistent with her character. She may do some weird things, but she definitely knows Cliff better than this.
I would have thought so. I don't know if we can really call this a nit, because it does allow the plot to continue. It's stupidity on Pam's part, which is not wholly unheard of.

- JR says he was willing to accept the consequences of the bombing, except losing Ewing Oil or going to jail. Hmmmm. What kind of a punishment are you expecting J.R? Maybe some community service in the Middle East? Sheesh. Heartily agreed.

- It sure does take Sue Ellen a long time to remember the name "Duncan". She did bump into him like eight times in the past week. Three, if I'm not mistaken. But that should be more than enough.

- Although the receptionist seems to have an attack of ethics when JR and Bobby try to get the room number, he has no such trouble revealing whether or not Calhoun was staying there. Seems to me that the hotels are supposed to have a privacy type deal with their patrons (revealing ANY information, would be considered unethical). Also, the receptionist at the hotel also seems to know Duncan's room number off by heart. That's odd, it's a pretty big hotel (I guess he could have been looking at the monitor). That is an interesting point which I had not considered. Maybe he knew who he was dealing with and figured he could pocket a little something.

- Oh my God, I didn't think the writers could do it, but they've actually made a character who's more of a cartoon than Cliff. Jenna was absolutely manic today! It was like watching a train wreck. Remember, only YOU can prevent Ray withdrawal. And this was just frazzling. Can you imagine if Sly had witnessed this? That would be a three-hanky job.

- Again with the fake TV look (in the hotel room). What's up with that? I know that video cameras have trouble showing computer screens (something to do with the redraw I think, but I've heard nothing about problems with showing TV's...)
Yes, it has to do with refresh rates of monitors being much higher of those of TVs. [I sell monitors and computers, which is how I know.] The effect is not so bad with TVs but it is there - you're right in that the picture shouldn't be quite so perfect unless the camera is focused right at the TV.

Episode 241: High Noon for Calhoun

- Where did John Ross get that red sweatsuit? Christopher was in a bathing suit by the pool...shouldn't John Ross have been too? Was Calhoun nice enough to go and by him a sweat suit on the way to his hideout?

AHN Jason's corner:

- Pam and Sue Ellen love their kids right?   So why in the Sam Hill do they leave them ALONE in a crowded pool area when they know "the bad guys" are out there somewhere.....  DUMB DUMB...
Well, they figure BD is after JR so he's in Dallas. I honestly can't understand why Pam would take her eyes off of her snooky-wooky.

- Sue Ellen makes a long distance call to Dallas from California on the poolside phone.  Not impossible but if you consider that she would need a calling card number and she was wearing a swimsuit,  unlikely..
Did they have calling cards back then? Maybe she called collect.

- Continuity error---  Notice Pam's arm by the pillar by the Ewing pool. She is leaning , with her arm outstretched when Bobby comes out to comfort her. The next shot, while she is speaking, she is standing erect, with her arms at her sides.
Good catch. I missed it.

- What's with Sue Ellen's I dream of Jeannie look at the begining of this episode? Was Larry Hagman having Barbara Eden flashbacks? Maybe he was.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I know that John Ross is just a kid and will hence tend to be irrational at times but... He complains that Christopher's pitch was too high, but then he cranks the next pitch (a much higher toss)... Yeah, it was a funny but meaningless scene.

- Clayton and Miss Ellie seem to be getting along a little too well. I also don't recall hearing anything about their trip. Seems as though the Parmalee conflict has just been swept under the rug. Well, it's about time. Now Clayton and Ellie can just back to getting their lame token scene every episode. And there was no mention of their trip until the beginning of this episode.

- JR gets mad when Pam gets mad saying: "Geez, you'd think it's her problem". Ummm, JR, it kind of is Pam's problem. All Ewings appear to me in imminent danger. Yeah, but she's not really a Ewing, right? She's that Barnes woman.

- I mentioned this during the marathon, but I'll mention it again today. In a previous episode, Wendell mentioned that he doesn't drink, but today he asks for an "unblended scotch". Seems to be a continuity error.
Yes, I remember you pointing that out. Good one.

- Why is Wendell going through all this trouble of finding out why the Ewings want Macarthur Mining? They probably want it because they perceive it to be a good investment. So this begs the question: Why doesn't Wendell just by MM? It's not like he's a penny pincher like Cliff. Weststar is quite a big company, why not just purchase the other company?
Wendell's not cheap, but he's not stupid either. He realizes that Cliff might have been lied to or fooled by Pam, so he wants to be sure. He figures that the Ewings might have deliberately told Pam misleading information or something like that. That's what I figure.

- Cliff's "trick the IRS" scam would most definitely leave a paper trail. The key concept of accounting is that it is a dual process.
Hence, for every entry that BW has with Company X, Company X will also have an entry. Basically (if I understand this correctly), Cliff will write up a check for $25 million (which I really don't believe BW has right now, BTW) so... debit New Company ($25 mil), credit Bank (or cash, $25 mil). Then, the guy from company X gets the money... debit cash ($25 mil), credit Company. Next the guy from Company X writes off a check (to Cliff Barnes mind you) for $6 million dollars... debit Some Phony Account, credit Bank $6 million. This may look good on BW's books, but I highly doubt that the other company would be willing to put itself at risk. And if they do decide to proceed with the transactions, it will be quite easy for them to trace the whole deal. Wow, great plan Cliff. Will you prefer the top or bottom bunk in your prison cell?
I never took accounting, but I'm sure you're right. Then again, these sort of deals happen all the time with some creative accounting to take care of it. Perhaps this guy's going out of business so he doesn't care. But my guess is that you're right.

- I guess it doesn't matter since they didn't get the trace to work (quite silly how they explained that away, BTW), but wouldn't it makes sense for McSween to trace EVERY incoming call to Southfork (as opposed to waiting for Bobby to make the signal)? Seeing as every second counts while tracing, why waste time starting up? Agreed. I noticed this too.

- Why the hell does John Ross have a remote control robot with him? Aren't they in the hotel? Even if they aren't that was very stupid. Was it his robot? I wasn't sure about that. It was kind of stupid either way.

- When Ray says to set the watches to California time, JR clearly doesn't. [He might do this later.]
You're right. It's possible that he did it later.

- Hmmm. Shouldn't they check Calhoun after they've shot him? That would make sense (if only to confirm he's dead). He does have a laser-sighted gun in his hands. I suppose so. But if Ray's around, never fear [snicker].

- The hotel lobby is entirely too busy for 5:30 in the morning. Agreed.

AHN Jake's corner:

- When we cut to the adults in the kitchen, Pam says to J.R. that she can't believe what he did and how horrible it was.  I then assumed that he had already told them the story about him and B.D. (or J.R.'s version of the story).   Then he starts to tell the story.  Is he repeating it or did he never tell it?   From Pam's reaction I thought he did.  Very confusing.
It was a bit confusing. Based on Ray's question about what exactly JR did to warrant such a violent response, I think JR must have simply told the assembled group that this crazed mercenary was after him and responsible for all the weird occurrences recently.

- When Jeremy Wendell is pouring his drink, April says, "Drinking alone?" Then when Wendell goes to pour the drink, she says she's not thirsty. She's just being petulant. She obviously wants [needs?] Wendell to be interested in her.

- When J.R. is talking to a sound-asleep John Ross, he says something like, "This is the first time in my life the world I built for you might come apart."  Then he says how John Ross not might be able to run Ewing Oil; there might be no Ewing Oil.   This wasn't the first time: When Jamie and Cliff sued for their shares of Ewing Oil J.R. might have not been able to give it to his son (only his shares). So I think you're saying JR has a short memory. You're right.

- J.R. suggests that Sly take the day off.  He also tells her that when the other girls come in, to send them home.  He's making it sound like he wants her to tell the other girls, which she couldn't, because she is going home. If not, then why did he tell her?
Yeah, I caught this too..but you know what he means. He just says it in a dumb way.

- When Wendell enters the Oil Baron's Club to dine, Dora Mae tells him that they're setting up his table.  I assume he made a reservation; then his table should already be made up.  And if he doesn't reserve, he dines there almost everyday probably at the same time; you'd think his table would be ready. That's a good point.

- When the bellboy comes up to the hotel room to give them the tape player (ordered by B.D.), he gives them a t.v. also.  Wouldn't there already be a t.v. in the room?
I would imagine the Ewings would get a room with a TV. Good call.

- At Travel Town, all of a sudden John Ross starts screaming.  Then he stops. And later, he starts again.  Wouldn't he just keep on screaming and yelling once he knew his dad was there?
He's quite a resourceful young man, so here's what I think. I assume that BD realizes that JR is going to try and get to his son, which he does, so if I were BD, I wouldn't take my eyes off of John Ross, and I would listen for clues as to where JR was.
The intelligent thing for John Ross to do would depend on whether BD could see him or not. If BD can see him, then it doesn't make sense for him to scream, because it might alert BD to the fact that John Ross can see his father. EXCEPT that when JR finally does appear, BD is right behind him with his gun, so John Ross is trying to warn his dad. It is confusing, but I think it shows a good deal of intelligence on John Ross's part.

Episode 243: A Death in the Family

Full House moment meter: 3

- Clayton and Ellie talking to the grandkids; Pam and Bobby lecturing Christopher; Ray and Jenna reuniting.

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle and Joe S]

Pam: "You know, this never would have happened if we didn't have guns in the house."
OOOOOH, Pam, Master of the Obvious!! Your powers of deduction are too strong...

Cliff: "And Jamie? What happened to her?"
This after Pam says that Jamie died in an accident. She DIED, Cliff!!! Weren't you listening?!?

- Just like everyone else, I thought this whole 'real gun' angle with John Ross and Christopher was totally lame. One thing especially I did not understand: while Christopher is completely upset over what he's done, why does John Ross start crying when Ellie and Clayton give them a good talking to? Is it just because he thinks he's in trouble? Or does he actually understand what might have happened? This seems very odd.

- And speaking of which, during Pam and Bobby's FHM with their son, after lecturing him, Bobby points the gun at Christopher to make his final point! HUH?

- Am I the only one who finds it odd that Jeremy Wendell would have an account at a store which sells ladies' furs? He's not married; he's never shown any interest in women; for all we know, he could be a homosexual. [Not that there's anything wrong with that.]

- And of course, I would be remiss if I did not point out the most ridiculous nit of all, which has become a new tote category: at the end of the episode, Cliff forgets that he's a lawyer. Admittedly, his specialty is criminal law, but he should know enough to understand what happens when a person dies 'intestate'.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Apparently Cliff doesn't feel the need to lock his front door (beginning of episode, when Pam visits). I live in London, Ontario (pop. 330,000) and I lock my front door, maybe Cliff should too...
It's possible that Pam has a key...but I think you're right. Why would she? There's no need for that.

- I'm usually fairly appreciative of Ken Kercheval's acting ability (what few people realize is how talented he is to make the viewers dislike him so), but today he just didn't do it for me, specifically at the very beginning of the episode. I just didn't believe he was really all that upset. He wasn't convincing. Usually he does a great job of doing the "panicky, rapid fire" sppech thing (thinking of when Jamie woke up from her coma, that was terrific), but not today.
You didn't think so? I'll admit it wasn't his best work, but it's wasn't terrible. And I totally agree with you that Cliff is very good at what he does. I remember reading somewhere that around this time, when Victoria Principal was unhappy with the way she had to portray Pam, Ken Kercheval responded that "It's all in how you interpret the character." A lame character can be funny or even become unlame with the proper treatment. [If you watch wrestling, look at the transformation of a guy like Mark Henry. He used to be a complete loser, and now he's actually popular.]

- SEVERAL hard to believe things with regard to the Christopher and the gun incident: a. would Bobby actually allow Christopher to see where he put his gun? b. would he actually leave it loaded? c. would he actually leave the safety off? (this one's debatable, as Christopher could have done this himself, but I don't think Christopher would know how to take the safety off.).  I'd like to think that Bobby is a better parent than this scene portrays him to be.
a) Kids have a way of seeing and knowing things.
b) This is rather stupid and I agree
c) This is even stupider and I agree.
Your final thought: OH HELL YEAH! I don't know whose idea it was to focus more on parenting issues all of a sudden. It goes on and on, especially next season, which has led me to inaugurate a Tote category for Full House moments. There were three in this episode. My suspicion is that it was Steve Kanaly's idea to focus on the family issues, since this is almost all he does next season.

- Why the still shot when Christopher pulls the trigger? How does this create more tension (that couldn't have been accomplished with a fade to black?). I guess it's supposed to creat suspense, but, come on, did anyone believe that John Ross was shot? It was ten minutes into the freaking episode!! [an aside: has DALLAS ever done this before, ie. a still shot in an episode other than at the ending?]
I didn't understand the still shot either. It was just dumb. And as far as I remember, this has never occurred on Dallas before. And I don't recall it happening again.

- I understand that Bobby operates on a strict moral code, but he didn't even hear what Wendell offered. Yes, he was offended, but geez, at least find out how more you'll have to cough up. That's just bad business... It's not even like they'd have to deal with that guy after Ewing Oil bought McCarthur. Instead, Bobby balks...
I agree. Information is key here. JR would have played the guy a little bit, but Bobby just shoos him off. Bad business all right.

- That new Valentine girl scene was just bizarre. Why didn't they show the Valentine girl in the lingerie? Ok, maybe Sue Ellen didn't like her, but at least give the girl some publicity (a cameo on DALLAS surely went a long way in 1987).
Yes. This half-scene made no sense at all.

- Christopher, grounded? No tv, no playing? What the hell is the kid going to do? He's six. Homework? I honestly don't know.

- Hey, hey, Bobby got off WAY too easy. It was his fault that Christopher got the gun. I think Bobby and Pam are way too lenient on each other (Bobby: "it's ok that you asked Jenna if we could have her baby!", Pam: "ooooh! [lovingly]. Then it's ok that you almost made our son into a murderer!").
I have a feeling that Vicki probably wasn't too happy with this storyline. Even though she did get in her obligatory shot against the NRA. It really strikes me how lame Pam and Bobby have become as a couple. The magic is gone. Seriously. I almost think it would have been better had Bobby married Jenna. I can't believe I'm saying that but Pam just doesn't have that oomph any more.

- How (and where) in the world does Ray find Jenna? It's not at the boutique (she sold that). Guess what Ray, you weren't looking for Jenna, you were STALKING her. Ooh, now there's a twist! Maybe I've got it backwards and Ray is going through Jenna withdrawal.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Did anyone else think Sue Ellen seemed too perky at the beginning of this episode-   her close friend died in the last episode.
Well, actually, that was a week ago...but I know what you mean.

- Notice that Christopher has the gun in his back pocket when he is playing with John Ross on the patio. Every other time we see them with guns they have them in their hands and are shooting them off like crazy...  I know this was done to create suspense but seriously... This scene was just really dumb. What purpose was served by this except to give Pam and Bobby a 'Full house' moment  [A new tote category, BTW], and to let Pam rant at the NRA?

- Pam comments that it was so strange that Jamie has a will at her age..It has often been established that Jamie was an organized and responsible person..  Having a will is not that unusual. You're right. Her statement is just to draw attention to it.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- After a stern lecture to Christopher, Bobby goes back to the bedroom with Pam and puts the gun in the exact same spot where Christopher found it in the first place.  I can understand that Christopher now has a better understanding of what could have happened, probably learned his lesson, and won't do it again, but still, this is pretty dumb.
Maybe this time he took the bullets out. You're right, though.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Nobody noticed that when Pam showed up to tell Cliff Jamie was dead that she was wearing an all black, conservative dress. How considerate! She changed to mourning clothes just to tell Cliff.
I think [though I'm not positive] that she was wearing this for dinner the episode before. I'll check.

- Double entendre dialogue of the day, when Pam expresses frustration about her being suspected of being a spy, Bobby takes her on his lap and says something like "I know it's HARD on you, Pam..." Seconds later she kind of winces with a start as though something big (and hard) just came up. I'll check this out. This is funny!

- Was I the only one who thought that when Pam was lecturng Christopher she was about to use her favorite line for Cliff - "Now Christopher, you're my son and I love you, but..."
That would have been good. Someone else pointed out that John Ross was liable to say that Christopher was the one who got grounded because he's ADOPTED.

- When Jenna is discovered by Ray in a clothing store, she is trying on a conservative, plain yellow sweater. She must have run out of all those hideous leftover sweaters from her boutique's sale. I guess so. What was up with that?

- Who's paying for Donna to change her hair style every day? That must be a well-funded lobby, since she's no doubt charging it all to business expense. Hey, you're right! I didn't even notice this. Good one.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Pam certainly knows a lot of details about Jamie's death and accident. Like Sue Ellen could have gotten all that information from the few seconds she spoke to the woman on the phone. And I don't think there was another phone call; Pam went right over to tell Cliff about it. I'll think about was a bit more than a few seconds, but that was an awful lot of info.

- What's the deal with Ellie and Clayton and their puzzles?  Is that all they can do?   What about Clayton's company?  And why does no one ever watch t.v.? I've never seen a show where no one ever watches t.v.?
Yes, it is all that Ellie and Clayton can do. When Jock was alive, it was backgammon. Now it's jigsaw puzzles. And as for TV: well, I remember people watching the news once in a while...but you're right. I think it's a misguided attempt to avoid dealing with current events, what with the year that was supposedly lost during the dream.

- Also, what was the deal with the dumb music during the gun scene?  It was real dorky; sounded like something out of a circus. I could see having the music when Christopher was looking for is toy gun, but once he gets the real one, it's time to change the music. The music has gotten very bizarre lately. I honestly don't get it at all.

- What the heck are John Ross and Christopher supposed to do in their room all day until their parents come home?  It might be like five or six hours. Well, since Pam and Bobby see nothing wrong with grounding a six-year-old for two weeks, I think that must be normal fare around the Ewing household. Must be part of the tougher, meaner Dallas.

- And also about this, I assume Ellie and Clayton told Pam and Bobby about the shooting incident right when they got home.  They probably got home a little before dinner. Yet they only talk to Christopher when he's in his pajamas, which would mean dinner was over.  Why the wait? Perhaps they came home just in time for dinner [as they are wont to do] and then decided to discuss the matter after dinner. Who knows?

- After Ray and Jenna get back together at the boutique, that woman comes over with some clothing and says, "This would look great on your wife." Not many salespeople just come out of nowhere with clothes in their hands to show someone it would look great on them. Perhaps Jenna asked for're right. This is silly. It's just to foreshadow their burgeoning love and how everyone must think they make such a great couple.

- When Cliff walks into Barnes-Wentworth, Jackie tells him his lawyer is in his office.   I believe that Cliff can see into his office (the door was open) and would have noticed the lawyer.
I didn't notice that the door was open. Thanks.

Episode 242: Olio

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason:]

- Wendell: "(The Ewings) have a weak link........Pam...."
(On the surface he appears to be politely saying goodbye to Pam but to us viewers he is saying she is the weak link.)
- Here's the stupid part. Pam:  "I don't like him."

Good one, Jason! This is one out of the Nameless One's files. His retorts are approximately as witty.

- Sorry, folks. I'm slipping a bit. I'm not finding as much as I used to. Got two for today.

- The establishing shot of Ewing Oil appears at 24 past the hour. You know, the one where the white and yellow bus goes across the screen.

- Teresa seems to have gotten a personality change with her new hairdo. After she takes the fateful phone call at the end of the episode, she looks into the livingroom and calls for "Miss Sue Ellen". Now, I realize that Sue Ellen and Pam are both sitting there, and so it wouldn't do much good to call for "Mrs. Ewing". But she has never used Sue Ellen's name when calling for her - ever. It's really strange that "Miss Ellie" has become "Mrs. Farlow", but Sue Ellen has taken a step backwards.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Ray orders a steak and coffee. That is absolutely disgusting! I, too, need my daily 3 cups of caffeine, but people have to realize that coffee does NOT go with everything. I hear you.

- The Man in Black just sort of stands there at JR's bed. Wouldn't it have made more sense to have just woken JR up?
Guess it doesn't matter cause JR apparently 'read the script' and knew when to wake up. True enough.

- I know the Cliff kickback is not going down anymore, but I think I've been able to locate the specific accounting fault that it would create (yesterday I just sort rambled on about various aspects). When you buy a company for a dollar value above its net book value (ie. above the value of the company's total assets) you must account for this difference by creating a Goodwill account. On the books Goodwill is actually considered an asset, and is amortized (basically, it's depreciation, but for intangible assets, same thing for patent fees and copyrights) away at a set rate for numerous years until the balance is zero. In Cliff's case, the Goodwill account would be valued at $7 million (6 mil kickback plus 1 mil over market value). Thus the Barnes Wentworth books would have an asset account labelled Goodwill that says it has 7 million dollars in it, but will actually only have $1 mil (after Cliff takes his $6 mil). BW accountants would surely jump all over that, and if they didn't, hello tax fraud! [I knew all those accounting courses would eventually come in handy]. I appreciate the information. I don't know the first thing about accounting, so this is very valuable. And we do not condescend on this web page - we inform. That's what separates us from the Nameless One and his Celestial Consort.

- Stop the presses! In lieu of Bobby saying "JR and me", Bobby actually said "JR and I" (albeit only once, oh well, it's a start!).

- Hey, does anyone (other than Donna) care at all about the oil lobby? I haven't heard anyone say anything about it (again, other than Donna) in the pass two weeks. Even a little JR quip like "what is taking that Krebbs woman so long?" would suffice. Alas, there has been nothing! You know, I wonder if the rest of the cast even knew about the Donna subplot at this point. These scenes are totally out of place. It wouldn't surprise me if they were being filmed elsewhere and no one knew what was going on..

- This is more of a commentary than anything... When Pam and Cliff have their fight, Cliff says the word Dallas twice ("...can't believe you left Dallas", "...this is going to be all over Dallas."). That got me thinking. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but the cast of DALLAS rarely says the word Dallas. Think about it. When JR speaks of Dallas, he simply says "this is my town". When one of the Ewing's threatens to leave Dallas, they always say "we're leaving SOUTHFORK" or "Ewing Oil". And it always about being the biggest "in the state of Texas". I just thought that was kind of strange. You?
I didn't notice this until now. Very interesting. I'll throw this out and see what people think.

AHN Jake's corner:

- John Ross seems to be doing really, really well -- considering he had just been kidnapped and almost was killed by B.D.
Yes. He must have really liked the red sweatsuit BD bought for him.

- After Bobby comes into the hotel room after being let out of jail, he tells Christopher and John Ross to go back and eat their hamburgers.  He was quite a distance from the table -- maybe a little too far to tell what they were eating.  I guess he read the script and thought "Go back and eat your hamburgers" sounded better than "Go back and eat whatever you're eating."
Interesting take on this.

- Pam tells Bobby to call Miss Ellie.  But Bobby says he has to take a shower first.   Why? Call your mother -- she was worried!  Then take your shower. Maybe he's worried Ellie is going to ask him if he's wearing clean underwear.

- Also about the shower, Bobby left the hotel room after telling Pam he was going to take one.  Where is he going?  No bathroom in this hotel room? I'm not sure about was a fairly big door, but then it's a fairly big hotel suite. I'll look again.

- When John Ross returns to Southfork, he asks Miss Ellie if she knew he was kidnapped.   But back in California, he talked to Miss Ellie on the phone and told her about what happened.
He's just excited, of course, but this is a good point.

- Donna suddenly seems to look pregnant.  It's about time.  She was much more pregnant in the Dream Season then she is now (considering she lost her baby in November of that season; it's January now).
John Rettino pulled out the pillows, I guess.

- Since when did April and J.R. start working together against Wendell? In the last episode April was getting information from J.R. and telling Wendell; now J.R. knows she's telling him the information.  A scene cut?
No I don't think so. I think this has actually been the plan all along. Perhaps a scene was cut, but as with so many of JR's machinations, the surprise is well kept.

- The manager of Valentine Lingerie whom Sue Ellen had lunch with ordered a very weird drink -- Scotch and Ginger Ale -- "and not to heavy on the ginger ale."   I've never heard of this before. And when Cassie brings back his drink, it's very light in color; looks almost like pure ginger ale.  Since scotch is a brownish color, obviously someone DID go to heavy on the ginger ale. Ozwald is weird. These are good points.

- When Charlie goes to talk to Ray about why he's not seeing them, Ray says something like, "I guess your mamma didn't tell you."  But instead of clearly explaining the situation to Charlie, he is very confusing and doesn't actually tell her anything at all.
Yes. Perhaps he figures that if Jenna didn't say anything, he shouldn't either. It would just get her upset about her mother's pregnancy if he told her the real reason.

- I find it hard to believe that such an honest woman and hard-worker as Jamie would leave her responsibilities at Valentine Lingerie to go hiking for over a month.  Very un-Jamie-like.
Yes. Weird things happen when someone tells the writers they want to leave the show. This is another Imponderable for the tote board. Thanks.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Jackie listens to the radio at work...  first time I have ever seen it on her desk.    Mightly convienient to have her listen about the chaos in CA....and a possible entry in the Jackie tote on the board...
Yes, it is convenient. A tote? Well, there's nothing to suggest that Jackie's not doing her work...I don't know. It's iffy.

- Pam reprimands Christopher to "eat something"  at dinner.   He already had his mouth full of food..   Jeez  what she expect?
Did he have his mouth full? I was watching it using my NEWLY ARRIVED TV TUNER [Yay!] on my tiny computer screen. I have to rethink that philosophy because I miss stuff like this.

- This one beats all the other bad parental judgement incidents we have seen so far....   Christopher tells Ellie that he WATCHED the John Ross kidnapping tape!!!    What kind of sick parents are these Ewings?  For all they knew about
that tape before they viewed it,  BD could have blow John Ross away on it.. Imagine what THAT would have done to Pam's oogly wookly.... I don't remember Christopher being in the room at the you? This is weird. But then again, maybe Pam's snooky wooky would look at it and say, "Cool! Hey, mom, can I get kidnapped next?"

- This is good for a laugh. When you watch the scene with Dowling and Donna (If you can stay awake)  watch Dowling's mouth when he says  "A thing of the past"    He spits out on camera!!!  I rewound it and saw it to verify......HEHEHE
I gotta take another look. That's great!

- OK so April really isn't such a bad person -  just lonely and misunderstood..   A) why did she dump Mr. Nice Guy Jack  and B) if she is so lonely how come she ended her conversation with her mom so quickly.  It seems like that is the only talking she'd get to do that day that didn't involve oil...It's not like she had anything else to do but pout..
I agree with you but in all fairness I felt a twinge of pity for April. I mean, all she wants is someone to talk to, right? But since she does absolutely nothing on her own over the course of three seasons to go out and get some FRIENDS, you are right.

- The Ewings have a private wine stock at the Oil Baron's club..  Sure.. Ok.. I don't know about this. It's possible, though unlikely. Certainly they're not the only ones who frequent the OBC... does Jordan Lee have a stash, for instance?

Episode 244: Revenge of the Nerd

Full House moment meter: 0

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

JR: I suppose this is news to you.
Pam: what's that supposed to mean?
-JR and Pam discussing Cliff's possible acquisition of 10% of Ewing Oil.
Hmmmm. He's not exactly speaking in code, Pam. JR's clearly implying that Pam had prior knowledge of Cliff's good fortune. Sometimes Pam is a bit TOO obtuse.

- Ray's house is very strangely wired. When Clayton's done watching footage of that prized cutting horse, he turns off the VCR. Mysteriously, the TV shuts off too. Ox-vibes?

- I don't think I need to comment on Sly's pathetic attempt to stop Cliff from barging into JR's office. At least this time she wasn't leading the way, like she did at one point.

- A rare acting nit from Barbara Bel Geddes. When she laments the lack of stability in her family, Ellie talks about the strain that Jenna's baby will put on "Bobby's and Pam's marriage." Uh, not quite, Babs. Only one 'Apostrophe-s' is required here, the latter one.

- The scene with JR and April at the PI's office confuses the heck out of me. JR says that he's going to make a sizable account available for the PI so that no stone is unturned in finding Jack Ewing. So what did JR ask for last week? The economy investigation? This doesn't really fit with JR's style. He should have asked for the full-scale investigation the first time.

- Oh, Jackie. I'm not sure whether this is a tote or not. I can give you the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe you're on lunch or something. But what Pam and Cliff come into the office and have their fight in the otherwise empty office, where are you?

- Not a nit, just a note. Today Pam offers Cliff 200 million for 10 percent of Ewing Oil. That would mean the company is now worth about 2 billion again, right? Interesting, because a few episodes ago, with slumping oil prices, the valuation of Ewing Oil was in the 1 to 1.2 billion dollar range. I guess whatever else BD Calhoun did, JR owes him some thanks.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- The whole Valentine Lingerie story has taken on a surreal, dreamlike and creepy quality. What the hell was up with that "mail-order" video? Is that just Sue Ellen's code for soft-core porn?
Well, I'm not sure if you would consider a virtual-reality Victoria's Secret catalogue to be soft-core porn...but I suppose it's close. And without revealing too much, the Valentine's storyline will pick up next week in what you would refer to as an exciting way.

- When JR and Sue Ellen are dining together, Cassie asks JR what he wants, and he says a bottle of champagne. She leaves, without asking what Sue Ellen wants. This can be interpreted 2 ways: 1. Cassie thinks that JR and Sue Ellen will share the bottle (not likely) or 2. she simply forgets.
Hey, wait a minute...that's right! Sue Ellen doesn't drink any more. Actually, JR asked for a glass of champagne, I think, not a bottle. As for Cassie, I would imagine she simply forgets that Sue Ellen doesn't drink. It's too bad Sue Ellen also seems to forget.

- Man, Ray's lawyer is a real son of a bitch. If I was Ray (and thankfully, I'm not) I'd be looking for a new barrister after the
attitude he was getting over the divorce. I suppose you're right but does anyone really care? I think Paul is just doing his job...he's making Ray aware of what it'll take to get custody. Bear in mind that Paul tried to dissuade him but Ray was adamant in his ogre sort of way.

- When April is shooed out of Cliff's appartment, she leaves the Chinese food. Now April's not poor, but Chinese food is expensive (personally I think Cliff did this on purpose). I agree with you. I would imagine she'd slap Cliff upside the head for this.

- Judge Truax (at the divorce hearing)? What the hell kind of name is Truax? Unless it's French (and pronounced TROW, but that would be T-r-e-a-u-x). Frankly, the name sounds... made up. I don't know. It didn't strike me at the time.

- Let's say I'm Jenna. My daughter and I come to visit our hard luck friend, Ray. He's not at his house, so we decide to wait around for him. Night falls, and still no Ray, so we decide... to sleep over?? Is that at all rational? Good Christ women, just leave him a note and call him in the morning! Who's stalking who, now? Mutual stalkfest, I guess. It's a good thing Ray left those blankets lying around...or did they snoop through his closets to find them? This whole subplot has gotten lamer than lame.

AHN Matt's corner:

- First, about Ray and Donna's marriage.  I know nobody really cares, and even though I am a Donna fan (probably the only one), I have some interest in this.  From what I have heard from the very eloquent Ray Krebbs, they have split up because Donna couldn't accept Ray for who he is(he said this in one of last week's episodes).   Well, I might remind that big dummy that he can't accept Donna for who SHE is. He has NEVER been able to deal with any success that she ever had (The Book, the Oil Company, and the Lobbyist Position).  What bugs me about Donna is that when Jock died, and Ray hung out with that whore Bonnie and got drunk all the time, she stuck by him, and said that she would have him any way possible.  That forced Ray to clean up his act, and we got to see Donna kick some ass.  What has changed in a few years?   Does he forget that he can't deal with her success?  Has she forgotten about how she fought to keep him back then?  I mainly like Donna because of what happened in the Dream Season, but now these two idiots are really pissing me off. You and everyone else. I like the Donna character but I hate her lame storylines. You're absolutely right about Ray. The man is a total hypocrite, just like Jenna. It's totally ridiculous.

- Does Pam really think that Cliff selling the Ewing shares to her will stop all the fighting?  Then that would mean that Bobby (being Christopher's guardian) would be in charge of the shares, therefore owning 40%, and the controlling interest in the company.   Does she think that this would sit well with JR?  Even Sue Ellen would be pissed, because John Ross would be screwed, too.  I understand how Pam is trying to prevent the Ewing/Barnes feuding, but she is very shortsighted.
I suppose she figures that she can deal with that when the time comes. At the very least, giving the shares to Christopher is a lot better than Cliff having them. If the shares are in Ewing hands, Pam may be able to placate JR by making it so that Christopher can't do anything with the shares until his 18th birthday, in which case they will be 'silent' shares, just like Ellie's or Ray's. I doubt JR would mind this too much.

- If Miss Ellie is so pissed off at the fighting, then why the hell doesn't she throw JR off the ranch?  He is the cause of most of these problems.  She should call the family together, tell them that they are all acting like a bunch of morons, and give them ultimatums. Tell JR that everyone (including Pam, Clayton, and Ray) are all family, and that he better watch it, because he is under her roof, and that he will not be welcome anymore if he keeps treating these people with the obvious disrespect.  She should stop being a doormat. OH HELL YEAH! I miss the strong Ellie. I don't know what happened to her. It's a damn shame. But to be honest, I don't know if throwing JR off the ranch is the answer. I mean, he does care about his family, and even if he were off the ranch he'd still be at Ewing Oil....this is a tough one.

- When Ellie was complaining about the family, she never mentioned Lucy or Gary. Guess she doesn't love them anymore. I liked when Ellie says that Donna is still part of the family. I just think it is funny that her dead husband's illegitimate son's ex-wife is still a part of the family. (I am not implying that Ellie and Donna can't be friends, I just think their relation is funny).

- In the final scene, we see the 'agent' talking with another 'agent' in front of what seems like a secretary (that guy with the devious eyes). In this secretive company, wouldn't they be a little more careful about who they talk to?  I bet this isn't the first time a high profile citizen has had his records kept secret.  Why does JR spur his interest? This is just weird.
This is the CIA, man! They talk about the 'company' because they don't want to say the real words - it's not good for a TV show to make the REAL CIA look bad. And as for why JR spurs his interest...stay tuned. Stay very tuned for the next week and a half. This little guy is more important than you think.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Who were the people behind Ray at the divorce hearing?  It seemed kinda strange that they were there if they weren't supporting Ray, especially since it looked like the court went into recess afterwards and they leave.  Also was I mistaken or did Ellie and Clayton sit on Donna's side of the court room? So much for support of Ray…   but then again…
I wondered about this. Maybe people who just like seeing couples break up?

- I find it rather bizarre that Jamie never finalized her divorce in the time she was in LA..  From what I understand, she was there for some time before she left for her fatal trip…  I mean it looked like she started the process and signed most of the papers in the last episode she was seen in  (BBQ'ed) so why the hold up?   I thought she and Cliff had agreed to a settlement and that's why she took off. They agreed in principle, I guess. This is truly bizarre, as Jake pointed out. How could such a responsible young woman become such a slob so quickly? It doesn't make any sense.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Who were all those strange people sitting in court watching Ray and Donna's divorce hearing? Don't tell me there are Ewing groupies in Dallas that show up everywhere the Ewings do. I hope this is over soon because it drives me nuts when Ray's lawyer keeps saying WaRshington" instead of :"Washington"
The first point was already made - I think they're Ray groupies. And that's a great point about Paul Morgan.

- And speaking of the scene at the Oil Barons Club, why is JR so intolerant of relatively conservative lingerie on Mandy when he seems OK with letting his wife parade through the Oil Barons Club in a dress cut to her navel with her breasts flopping in the breeze (not that there's anything wrong with that)?
Depends on what you see as conservative, I guess. Though it may not be obvious from the show, I have read the "unofficial" Dallas book that highlights the early years and the mini-series, and a few of the others that were actually transcripts from the Season 1 episodes. In them, the fact is highlighted that JR doesn't like a woman who's obvious about what she wants - maybe he wouldn't mind it for one night, but certainly he could never bring himself to live with such a woman. If you look back at some of the early episodes, Sue Ellen tries to tempt JR with some revealing attire of her own and he comments that she looks like a tramp. It's a cognitive dissonance thing with a bit of the Madonna/whore complex mixed in for good measure. JR likes being with a trashy woman, but not being SEEN with one.

- My wife pointed out that Dallas' makeup people were off their game, letting Pam go through several scenes with the lipstick on her upper lip noticeably wider on one side than another, making her look like she had a fat lip on one side.
I didn't notice- Thanks.

- Did anybody notice that in one episode last week there was a different maid serving dinner at Southfork. Teresa must have been out partying that night or getting a touchup on that new perm of hers. No, I didn't notice this either. Wow. I'll have to look at this again.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- I'd be surprised if no one pointed this out already, but when J.R. enters the kitchen and starts aggravating Pam with comments about Cliff, he only sits down at the table for a few seconds, takes maybe two bites of his eggs, and then "off to the office."   I guess that old TV Guide article on soap operas is right -- rich people never eat breakfast.
Yes, I noticed but no one pointed it out because we're all so used to it I guess.

- Right before the scene when Cliff bursts into J.R.'s office, the familiar establishing shot of the Ewing Oil building w/ the yellow and white bus is used again.  This shot has been in use since at least the eighth season (possibly longer, but I never noticed it before then). Yup.

- This nit is much in accordance with my Rant.  When J.R. is raving on about outsiders and Cliff Barnes, Pam bursts out "Stop yelling at me!" Um, first of all, he wasn't really yelling.  Maybe excitedly ranting about Cliff, but not yelling.   And the irony is, now Pam is yelling. Perhaps this should be Bonehead Dialogue Award.  I could go on, but I've already made my feelings on the subject well-known. Let's just say that lately I've been hoping for a cross-over with South Park.
Your hope is my command. I think the similarities are too big to ignore.

Episode 245: The Ten Percent Solution

Full House moment meter: 1. The scene at Jenna's house where Ray jobs to the faucet.

- Either Jackie is really bad at trying to be supportive or she's just clueless. I suspect both. What I mean is this: asking Pam to tell Christopher to hit a ball over the wall is really lame when she knows the kid is playing T-BALL!

- I would be remiss if I failed to point out that Jackie's incompetence shines through again. When Wendell arrives at Barnes-Wentworth, she informs Cliff by intercom rather than by phone. What if Cliff had told her to make an excuse to get Jeremy to wait? That wouldn't have sounded very good over the speaker.

- April must really be desperate for friendship. I am glad she's considering a puppy. But anyway, I don't see why she's coddling Sue Ellen. April says Sue Ellen has a good memory when she remembers they met at the Oil Baron's Ball. Then how come she didn't remember who April was or where they first met?

- I suspect a merciful TNN cut...but I must ask myself why Ray was wearing a tie when he went to Jenna's house? Is fixing a faucet a special occasion to him?

- Mrs. Scottfield should buy a TV which gets public access channels. That way she might see some of the public service announcements which tell mothers to put the infants to sleep on the backs, not on their stomachs. Putting a baby to sleep on its stomach increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Her baby is very cute, and besides, if something happened to it, she'd just blame the Ewings for being the cause of it. I'd rather not have to deal with that.

AHN Joe S's corner:

- Bobby pulled a Krebbs today (that's my new term for when someone on Dallas is a hypocrite) when he told J.R. that everything that happened between Pam and Cliff was their business, and not that of the Ewings. Wait a minute.  Doesn't that statement kinda conflict with Bobby physically threatening Cliff in the previous episode?  I suppose I can forgive him temporarily though, 'cuz he kicked some major ass at the bar later on.   That's the sort of thing that would have redeemed in Jock's eyes, so it's good enough for me.
Yeah, I think he can be forgiven for this because he means that what happens between him and Pam [and my guess is that right now it's not much] isn't JR's business. And he totally rocked in the bar.

- So Ray Krebbs can BUILD A GODDAMN HOUSE, but he can't fix a leaky faucet?????  He's been hanging around the ox too much (KIDDING!  I take that statement back because Clayton is certainly a much more likable guy than that half-breed Ray). Agreed on both points.

- Okay, you know this one by heart now.  After a commercial break, before the scene when Harry calls J.R., it's that same ol'
yellow-and-white bus Ewing Oil establishing shot. Yup.

- Is Sue Ellen channeling Jock's spirit???  Today, she seemed to have picked up his habit of defining something by itself with her statement to Bruce Harvey, "Business is business." Maybe she is channeling his spirit! It's not like she's got much else to do.

AHN Jason's corner:

- A Susan Howard Crane is credited as writer for this episode..  Is this Susan Howard (Donna)?  Did she get married or something? Yes, I believe she did. She chose to stay as Susan Howard for the credits, but she did get married. And she did write the episode.

- It wasn't made entirely clear but did Wendell want to buy Cliff's 10% for $6 million?   How much is this company worth?  It seems to change daily... No, not quite. What he means is that if Cliff agrees to sell him 10% of Ewing Oil for $200 million or some figure like that, he'll forego the $6 million dollar loan.

- Same thing with Wentworth Tool and Die... Cliff and Pam talk about his selling it to her and how much it would be worth....  Also I think she was overreacting when he said he wanted to sell it to her..  If she cares so much about her mother's company, she would want someone good at business (herself) in charge, right?
Pam is seriously approaching the fuddy-duddy stage, an epithet which I previously only used to refer to Franklin Horner. So concerned about abstract or sentimental things but totally oblivious to the substance. This is the first time she's ever cared about the company. It's ridiculous. Of course, this scene is just a set-up to a more important scene which I believe is coming tomorrow.

- Marilee and Cliff   --  Did I miss something here?  First time I saw them together in a while.. but I thought they were on good terms before..  guess not... There hasn't been much activity between the two since their poolside tryst in Episode 162. Cliff's been dealing with Jordan but not Marilee. Of course, the unwritten rule seems to be that Marilee automatically becomes civil with him after 50 episodes of a fight.

- Did anyone notice that Cliff leaves his loan materials in the Loan Officer's office?   I was under the impression that he brought them in to show his good credit-worthiness..... He may have more copies in the car but this did seem very strange.

- Ok  this may be my mistake..  but I am a lifeguard..  I am fairly well versed in CPR and the signs and symptoms of a heart attack...   JR clutches his arm in Cliff's office, suggesting to me that he was having a heart attack or some sort of heart related problem... so what does he do?   ASK for a DRINK!!!!  Come on.....  In the real world I think this would be the WORST
thing to do if you are having that kind of problem..  I know it is a moot point because he was just distracting Cliff so he could steal some note paper but it still bugged me. You are absolutely right. JR was faking a heart attack and you most definitely should not give someone in that position a drink. JR is relying on Cliff being a moron and not knowing that.

> Mrs. Scottfield's infant looks really young.. maybe 6 months..  and yet Mrs. S looks to be about 8 or so months pregnant... HMMM   guess Dallas writers are bad at math. Also  her kids seemed to have quieted down rather quickly..  at the beginning of the scene she was shouting at them  (off stage) and then we never hear a peep from them ....  yeah  that's believable...
Maybe [since she's a non-Ewing] she doesn't magically get her figure back the day after giving birth. Very cute baby.

- Not sure if this is a true nit  but it didn't look like Mrs. S actually scoops the mystery meat surprise into the empty bowls Alfred was holding.. yet they are full when we see them again... I'll have to check.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- It didn't bother me so much yesterday, but today's CIA scene struck me as quite silly. The Man in Black goes something like "Well I'm going to put this file away FOREVER. Yep, I sure am". Lady: "Yes, let us put these files somewhere where they will never be found again." Man: "I agree, I never want to see these files again"... and so forth. Seemed very hokey. Very hokey. It's a classic plot device, though. People talk ad nauseum about things so that when it comes back to bite them in the ass, it's more dramatic.

- This whole Cliff needing 6 million dollars is getting ridiculous. If I hear Cliff say "how am I going to get 6 million dollars?" again, I might just snap. I know BW has cash flow problems, but come on, just sell something. It's only $6 million. Maybe if they had made the sum owing slightly more significant (like say $25 mil) I'd care, but they didn't, so I don't (care).
Your point is well taken. Something doesn't add up.

- Cliff's offer to Pam might just invalidate my previous nit. Man, instead of half a million dollars, he wants to sell her 1/3 of
Wentworth?? That is so stupid. Do you pay back 2 quarters to somebody with a twenty?? Most likely no. I know he's just trying to feel out Pam here, but the deal sounds so bogus that the only thing he'll accomplish is making her suspicious. BTW, if anything bothers me more than this "needing 6 million bucks" it's this "needing a half a million bucks" thing. Utterly ridiculous.
GUTI [Get Used To It]. This scene had only one purpose and that will be revealed tomorrow.

- There are so few references to baseball on DALLAS that any time one comes up, being a diehard fan, I feel the need to pounce on it. Clayton makes a reference to Christopher being Ty Cobb. And why not? Ty Cobb was the greatest hitter of all-time (and he even played for my precious Tigers). A lifetime average of .357 is absolutely unheard of. Anywise, my complaint lies with the fact that Ty Cobb seems to have been just a bit before Clayton's time. Let's say Clayton's 65, therefore, he was born in 1922. Well Ty Cobb retired in 1928 (Clayton would have been six). This means that Clayton's recollection of Mr. Cobb would likely be quite minimal. So why not use a legendary player more from his own era (mid to late 30s)? Like a Joe DiMaggio or Stan Musial? [This one might be a bit of a stretch.]
Well, let's see. BBG was born in 1922, and I think the show reflects that - she's in the mid 60s for sure, so Clayton ought to be as well. I have a feeling that Clayton is probably NOT much of a baseball fan so he's just using Ty Cobb's name because he really doesn't know any others. A true baseball fan like you and I would have referred to someone from our time, that is true. For instance, when talking about great pitchers, I would mention Nolan Ryan and Roger Clemens. Probably not Fergie Jenkins or Jim Palmer because I never saw them pitch. Eric Nyman points out that Ty Cobb actually had a .367 batting average.

- Hey crazy Mrs. Scottfield! What's new? Hey, remember when Bobby and Pam came to talk to the authorities about your husbands arsonistic tendencies? Remember when he killed himself? It's not the Ewings' fault that your husband was a freaking LOONY!! Yes, but you'd have a hard time convincing her of that.

- When McSween is arriving at the end of the episode, we hear a joke being told off camera. Is that supposed to be Bobby telling the joke? It sure doesn't sound like him. I thought so too! I figured they might have a guest, but they don't. I thought I might be hallucinating but I guess not.

- DALLAS Economics: isn't there something that prevents Cliff from controlling a portion of his rivals company? In Canada, the Competition Act (formerly the Combines Investigation Act, I did a project on this) is supposed to regulate situations like these. It's clearly a conflict of interest (especially if Cliff attempts to slow down Ewing Oil with evasive tactics). I remember last year, there was a big stink because the president of Cuddy Foods was sitting on the Board of Directors of Maple Leaf (Cuddy's competition). Not only is such a case a conflict of interest, but it also threatens the economic environment with a
possible monopoly. The Competition Act is largely ineffective (they can barely stop gas stations from price fixing), but the American version of it, the Truman Anti-Trust Act is much better at regulating the big corporations. I guess the DALLAS writers just chose to ignore this part of the equation...
Interesting. You are absolutely right, of course...both Barnes-Wentworth and Ewing Oil are privately owned corporations. There's no Board of Directors or stockholders to answer to. Does that make a difference?
If not, then I think that Cliff's plan is to wait until the dust settles, and if he does end up with a piece of Ewing Oil he'll gladly sell Barnes-Wentworth [since it's obviously not making him enough money even to pay Pam's loan back] for whatever he can get. Certainly BW is not worth anything close to the $ 200 million that his stake of Ewing Oil would be.

Episode 246: Some Good, Some Bad

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 0.

Full House moment meter: 0. [These guys are getting way too serious.]

- Wouldn't be much of an episode without a Jenna nit. When she's telling the moving guys where the boxes go, I was very confused. First of all, why didn't she just label the boxes so the guys would know where to take them? [Certainly she knows Ray's house well enough to plan this sort of thing.] And if they're not labelled, how can she tell one box from the other herself?

- The answer is obvious, but I don't see what business Sly has hanging around JR's office while he's talking to Cliff. Normally, JR would just tell her that it's 'all right' and she can go back to her desk. But I guess today she read the script and realized it would be more fun if she hung around so that JR could tell her to call security.

- And speaking of At Ewing Oil? Jason and I both snickered at this.

- I hope someone can enlighten me as to why Pam has that big ring on her pinky finger. You can see it when she's distraught over having to pay back Cliff's loan to Jeremy. I don't know what this signifies.

- There's a minor continuity error in this scene as well. When Pam first turns around and we see her back to Wendell, her hand is over her mouth. Then suddenly we cut to her face and her hand is over the whole side of it.

- Why does Jeremy Wendell want Pam's check made out to Weststar? Didn't he loan the money to Cliff out of his personal funds? It doesn't seem right that he would dip into Weststar funds because that sort of thing would get the Board of Directors rather angry. Granted, it's only six million dollars, but it's the principle of the thing. I find it hard to believe that Jeremy would do that, since he's such a stickler for protocol.

- This time warp in which the Dallas plots happen is bothering the hell out of me. Cliff tells the police he hasn't seen his wife in 'many months', yet Ellie comments that Jamie's only been dead for two weeks. As Jason will point out below, it's probably longer than two weeks, but it doesn't matter. Jamie left after the barbecue in Episode 235. She was declared dead at the end of Episode 242. The only significant thing that happened in between was the whole BD Calhoun thing. I find it hard to believe that Calhoun's game with JR lasted several months. Two weeks, tops.

- These are the ones that I love! Today, when Alfred sneaks into the secured area of the CIA vault, he enters a code consisting of four digits. Two episodes ago, when Henrietta and the Man entered the vault, she used a five-digit code. I grant that these codes are probably changed regularly, but usually a consistent number of digits is used.

- Yet again, that moron Jackie informs Pam about her visitor using the intercom and not the phone. This is just disgusting.

Rob Frazier submitted: O.K., I have problem with how this Calhoun leak began. If this Calhoun/Ewing situation is so hush-hush -- and the CIA really wanted to keep their hands clean of the mess until they needed it -- why are the agents talking so freely about it in front of every and anyone?  In other words: WHY DOESN'T THE AGENT JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT AND FILE THE INFO?! SHEESH!!! He may as well have hand delivered it to Mrs. Scottfield herself!

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Yes, yes Charlie. We are all very excited that you get to decorate your own room. But please get the HELL out of the movers way! They're carrying up this heavy chest, and she's just standing in front of them, totally oblivious.
I guess you don't have a teenage sister. I thought this was quite typical.

- A very rare literary reference today on DALLAS. Donna's "tilting the windmills" seems to have taken straight from Don Quixote. Yes. Jason mentioned the other day that Donna, while not a very entertaining or likable character sometimes, does have class.

- Beam me up Scotty! [Sorry, couldn't resist]. He's a damn good lawyer. That scene where he was questioning Pam was probably the best scene I've seen in at least a week.
Yup. This was a great scene! Especially what they did with the lighting to make Pam look kind of in the dark.

- Wendell strikes (weakly) again. He makes Pam buy back Tool and Die for... $10 million. Ooooooooh! Wow, Jeremy, you really screwed her over for that 4 mil! It just doesn't seem consistent of his character to hustle someone out of a paltry 4 million dollars. Very weak... It is rather lame. And it is just to wedge Pam and Cliff apart. But what I found more odd is that he asked her to make the check out to Weststar, and not him personally. Are we to understand that The Jeremy dipped into Weststar's funds to give Cliff a loan? Hope the Board of Directors doesn't find out.

- Hey, Bobby! You might have mentioned to Jack how the police think that Cliff might have been involved in her death. That probably would have reason enough for Jack to stay. That would have been a good idea, come to think of it. Of course, he probably read the script and knew JR would confess at the end.

- Oh, man. Bobby should have popped Ray! That would have been sweet. But the line he gave right as he was leaving was quite good. [It seems like Kanaly is on a different soundstage than everyone else, doesn't it? He hasn't associated with a Ewing in weeks, or at least it seems like he hasn't].
GUTI. The Bob-man will take a lot of abuse from Ray over the coming weeks, for various reasons. A real shame.

- The abruptness with which the charges against Cliff were dropped certainly bothered me. Yeah, the evidence was entirely circumstantial, but it was also SUBstantial. I'm not sure how he was exonerated so quickly (and also off-camera...yuck). It's doubtful that McSween and his crew would just say to the LAPD "ha ha, just kidding, we made it all up!" so I'm not sure what's going on. Seems as though a thorough investigation should have been undertaken...
I'm not sure what happened here. Certainly McSween wouldn't have just given up the ghost but maybe he got someone to call on his behalf and say there was a mistake. Lack of evidence, or something.

- If there's ever been a more out of place (not to mention hollow) statement like Pam's "I don't have a brother", I'd like to hear it. Give me a break Pam. You're mad, but you're not going to freaking disown him.
It sounded really weird coming from Pam, especially since we all know you're right.

- Oh man! For someone who allegedly cares so much about everybody else, everything certainly seems to be ABOUT Pam now. I definitely have to agree with Joe S's commentary, she's definitely entering Krebbsian territory. I also think that when she screams in that high pitch, crackly way, Pam rises above being a Mrs. Broslofski and into the domain of Barbra Streisand ("Mega-Bitch"). This was so predictable and yet so annoying. It's sad that even when you see it coming it bugs the hell out of you.

- SO THAT'S WHAT "PUTTING AWAY FOREVER" ENTAILS FOR THE CIA? Christ, I have bigger storage room in my basement. That room was nothing more than a glorified wine cellar! And the box was right out in the open! How unbearably convenient! Laughably bad if you ask me. You know on the X-Files when Cancer Man puts an X-File away? Remember that cavernous warehouse with a seemingly infinite number of shelves? That's the kind of place that I would think the CIA has. But I guess they ran out space in the warehouse and thus had to put it in the broom closet. Really, really dumb.
Very dumb. This was way before America got in its kick about what the CIA really does - people hadn't fully grasped that last scene from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'. You're right of course. It would be really funny if Alfred picked the wrong box and the videotape turned out to be a porn movie or something. Everyone noticed this.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Pam didn't seem to take any personal stuff out of her office, even though she "is leaving for good".
Probably just for effect. You know she'll be back...

AHN Joe S's corner:

- So some politician tells Donna that a floor price of oil of $25 is being considered, and Donna instantly dismisses it, saying it's "wishful thinking," and recommends (and settles for) $20.  Why the hell did she open her mouth and say anything against $25 when she could have gotten it that high?
That's just the game of politics I think. The Senator who suggested that may just be playing with Donna and seeing how realistic she's being.

- Not a nit, but an observation:  In the golfing scene (which was incredibly pointless, I might add -- Ellie and Clayton need a major, relevant push right now), it appears as if Clayton has a receding hair line along a widow's peak.
I didn't notice because I was too busy laughing at Ellie's golf hat. They are going to get an angle soon - I'll leave it to you whether you want to call it 'major' or 'relevant'.

- I'm surprised that the probably crystal microphones in the Barnes-Wentworth intercom system are strong enough to pick up Jeremy Wendell's voice from a distance, and so clearly too. That was quite impressive. Normally you need cellular technology to achieve this effect.

- This isn't a nit -- in fact, it's the opposite of a nit.  Pam actually noticed a bruise on someone's face!!!  Pammy's powers of
observation are improving. I noticed that too. Unlike the previous seasons when she would be oblivious.

- Here's a continuity error:  When Ozwald is talking to Sue Ellen, on one shot, he is holding the velcro strips parallel to the table (horizontally) while saying something about removing "nasty waist-pinchers."   Then, on the next immediate shot, Ozwald is suddenly holding the strips perpendicular to the table (vertically).  In fact, this whole scene seemed to be full of abrupt cuts, but this is the only specific error I could put my finger on. I didn't notice. Good one.

- For all the precautions that the CIA takes (or you would expect them to take, anyway), I'm rather surprised that they don't have any file cabinets or boxes locked up in addition to the gate itself. Wasn't this stupid? Haven't these people watched Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Episode 247: War and Peace

The Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter: 1. [The last one.]

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

Cliff: "Who are you calling names?"
Jack: "You!"

I'm not sure what was lamer, Cliff not knowing that Jack was insulting him or Jack's pathetic retort.

- I don't get Jenna. She's got the waddle down pat, and I understand she's not as mobile as she would like to be. But why in the world, when Ellie visits her, does she open the front door just enough so that Ellie can squeeze herself in? Wouldn't it be more polite to open it a little wider?

- And what is Scotty Demarest doing as Cliff's lawyer? He is a CRIMINAL lawyer. He defended Jock during his murder trial. He defended Jenna during her murder trial. He was hired by Cliff because there was the potential of a murder charge at the time. He is supposedly the precursor to Johnnie Cochran. But this isn't a criminal case. This is a civil lawsuit. No wonder Cliff lost - he should have at least hired someone who knows something about civil litigation!

- And while everyone else will say it better than me, I will just point out that even Lance Ito did a better job with the Simpson trial than that moronic magistrate did today. I have a suspicion that it's because he's not really a civil court judge! The actor who played this role today was the judge in JR and Sue Ellen's divorce hearing six years ago [Episode 81]! He's a divorce court judge - what's he doing here?

Valerie Martin astutely pointed out: I was a bit disturbed by the way Donna was portrayed as going into "labor". One minute she's yucking it up with the senators. And then......she stops. She feels her bulging belly. It's time to go to the hospital!!!!!! Puhleeez!! Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that this not how it happens--especially for first time mommies. There is a great deal of uncertainty. Is this it? Is the pain for real this time? So how would Donna know that the time to go the hospital is now? Besides, she didn't express much pain. If she were truly in labor, she would be screaming; gasping for air. Perhaps the ladies are just that much more dignified in Washington.
IMO, they should have had her labor start by having her water break. That way, there's no doubt that it's time to go to the hospital. Donna's labor "pain" was just way too phony.
But my biggest nit came when Donna was lying in her hospital bed, cradling her newborn. This has to be the biggest insult to any woman who's ever had a baby. There was not a hair out of place on that woman!!!! Nobody ever looks like that right after having a baby!!! And that nightgown!! Did Dave Culver stop at the maternity boutique on the way to hospital?? Where was the hideous grey hospital gown with which most of us postpartum women are stricken?
This whole scene was just way too insulting. The producers painted an unrealistically glamorous picture of childbirth. They should have had Donna laying there, no makeup--completely pale, eyes puffy, hair in a sloppy ponytail, gray hospital gown, and dried blood all over her hands and arms from holding the slimy baby right out of the womb. That's a more accurate picture of how most of us ladies (myself included) look right after having a baby.
I'll tell you what the problem is - all of the active AHNs, with the exception of Anne, are men. We have no idea about these things. Seriously Val - put us in our place when we need it. Thank you. In all fairness, this has been an ongoing gripe - Sue Ellen is in perfect shape [despite the depression] after delivering John Ross; Kristin snaps right back shortly after Christopher's birth; Jenna will be fine the day after delivering her child. The only one who seems to be reasonably afflicted by childbirth is Mrs. Scottfield, who looks much more like a woman who's recently given birth. Must be something in the Southfork water. I think I sense a tote category.

Rob Frazier commented: Get a load of the wishy-washyness of the judge in the big court case: "I'm setting aside Jack Ewing's sale of his stake in Ewing Oil -- but I'm NOT going to set it aside..."  Er, Your Honor, can you please MAKE UP YOUR DAMNED MIND...?!  He gets my vote for the Lance Ito Award for bench ineptitude...
Second...Bobby, just moments after his win/loss in the case, tells Cliff: "If you've come over here to gloat, I'll take you apart!"  Hey, Bob-O, just because you kicked an ENTIRE BAR's ass a couple of episodes ago doesn't mean an ARMED BAILIFF won't break you off a little something...
Both good points. I think the reason for the judge's ineptitude, as I pointed out, is that he's really a divorce court judge - he was the same one who presided over JR and Sue Ellen's first divorce hearing.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Bobby and JR have a VERBAL agreement with Jack and April? That's probably not such a good idea. Jack is seems quite volatile right now and frankly, who can trust April. Something written would definitely have been a wise idea.
No time, perhaps? You're right. It is very weird.

- Wow, that CIA technology is something else! It's like they just walked into the Lorimar studio and wiped the film of JR and Calhoun. It's very hard to believe that the the video quality would be that high. Yes, there are telescopic lenses (more for still cameras...) but there's absolutely no reason for the sound to be so crisp and clear.

- What the hell was Alfred thinking when he stole the tape? He seems genuinely surprised when Mrs. Scottfield talks about going public with it. Why did he think she wanted the tape? Is she a home movie buff? Strange.
Jason thought so too. This was totally ridiculous.

- Another time problem pops up today on DALLAS. JR, while talking to Sue Ellen about Mandy, mentions that life has been really good the last few MONTHS together. As stated before that doesn't make much sense. JR and Sue Ellen didn't become amorous until AFTER the whole Calhoun thing, and I really doubt it's been a few months (I'm assuming few implies more than 2). Yes, I pointed that out yesterday when Cliff said the same thing about Jamie's departure from Dallas. This is almost surreal.

- Ray says he hasn't been to Southfork in a long time. What?? Did I miss something? Isn't he still the Ranch Foreman? Very peculiar. I think he must mean the ranch HOUSE.

- I like Harve Smithfield, but I have to comment on his moments of legal ineptitude (which are numerous). Today, while sitting in his chair mind you, he mumbles an objection to something that Scotty has said. Note however, that there is no grounds for the objection, no reasons which would reveal why he objects, just... "objection". Of course it's going to overruled Harve! That was freaking pathetic. Objections are almost always followed with something like "badgering" or "leading" or "asked and answered". Just make something up... Hey, you're right! I didn't notice.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Did anyone find the the scene between Jenna and Ellie irritating  (for a reason other than the fact Jenna was in it...)  I am no big Jenna Fan  but it is none of Ellie, Pam or Bobby's Frigging Beeswax what Jenna and Ray do.... Who the heck told these people where Jenna and Charlie have a right to live? Bobby chose Pam, and hence has no business meddling in Jenna and Ray's life....  I never thought I would say that, but today's episode really ticked me off about this...  and if anything,  having Jenna closer to Southfork would allow Ms. Ellie more of a chance to see her Grandkid..   so butt out!!!
This really doesn't make sense from Ellie's point of view. I totally didn't understand it at all until Ellie said [quite correctly] that Jenna said she didn't want to have anything to do with the Ewings at all, and she wanted the same isolation for her child.
Maybe you're being a little too hard on Ellie. Think about it. Do you think that Jenna is going to stay away from the family? Do you think she's not going to strut around Southfork with Bobby's child when it suits her purpose, and then turtle away when she feels threatened? I don't think Jenna's above that kind of thing if she put her mind to it. It might be a little presumptuous on Ellie's part, and I agree it's none of her business, but maybe she's just looking ahead.

- Ok for the other side... Ray says that he "gave up Donna and his baby"  I suppose he meant the custody battle, but in reality, he pretty much dumped her because she wanted to have a life... A life that he felt he couldn't be a part of. And despite what Ray says, I agree with Bobby. At least Donna's baby will know its father, even if she won't see him much.

- The whole legal thing today confused me...  to be honest, I just didn't care too much so maybe I missed something but  it seems like Jack really was opening himself up to some further legal problems by claiming malicious intent or whatever he was claiming he did....  Kinda weak that he would agree to say he was cheating his ex out of her $ ....  I know, I know, the real reason,  just the whole court thing today was beyond unbelievable...
I suppose you're right but coming clean about the thing would preclude him from further prosecution. He can say that he had a change of heart [and I believe he DID say that] and so April couldn't touch him any further even if she wanted to.

-  Is Mandy in Hollywood?  I know she is in the movie business somewhere in Asia but is that the same as Hollywood?
I think they're speaking of Hollywood conceptually rather than physically. I guess.

- I got a good chuckle when Mrs. S tells her brother that the reporter will keep his sources private.Yeah right. If the CIA came to his door, I am sure he would stand up to them...
Well, if I'm not mistaken [and I am neither an American nor a lawyer, so maybe I am mistaken], the Fourth Amendment guarantees that people like the newspaper editor can't be harassed for printing something and then not revealing its source. Now, I'm sure the CIA doesn't have to bother about "two-bit legislation" like the Fourth Amendment if they don't want to - but Mrs. Scottfield is not trying to make the CIA look bad here. If she were, then I think they'd haul the editor to jail. But since the main focus of the smearing is the Ewings, the CIA probably might not care as much.

- The judge said something about Jack owing April 50% of his earnings and assets for 5 years..  Does this mean that he would owe her his gift from Cliff?  He claimed at one time it was not part of the settlement but I wonder... Well, I'm sure if April was inclined she could sue him over it. Under the circumstances, though, that's unlikely to happen.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Ah, our first glance of Sue Ellen's office.  I always got the impression that she didn't have an office.  She and Mr. Valentine kept having business meetings in restaurants.
I don't think she's had an office until now. That's rather odd, but when you think about it, at first she was trying to keep herself out of the spotlight. Now that everyone knows, it makes sense for her to have an office.

- Harve Smithfield keeps using the word "malicious intent."  But the judge J.R. met with a few days ago to get an injunction against Cliff said it wasn't malicious intent, but fraud.  I don't think the 'Dallas' writers were ever well-grounded in reality and actual processes of the law. Clearly they are not and I wish one of the AHNs was. Technically and legally you may be right - but then again, my limited understanding of the law would lead me to think that you would never 'defraud' someone without some 'malicious intent'. I think that fraud implies malicious intent, or vice-versa. Whether there is a legal difference is a better question.

- When we cut to the newspaper's office, Ms. Scottfield is standing up. Then the man tells her, "that's quite a story."  What, did she tell the whole story standing up? Good one!

- When Alfred talks to Ms. Scottfield about getting a duplicate of the tape, he says, "How am I supposed to explain to the guy in the lab this is a CIA tape?"   Well, Alfred...DON'T TELL HIM IT'S A CIA TAPE!
Yes, of course you're right. But people are bound to ask questions when they see the footage. Who else would have such footage? Certainly if one were inclined to think about it, neither Calhoun nor JR would have wanted the incident taped. It's also evident that Alfred's a real nervous guy and not a very good liar, so he's worried about being able to come up with a good story.

- Cliff says Jack hates him, but says Jack hates J.R. more.  Not quite. Jack hates J.R., but he hates Cliff much more.  After all, Cliff was a horrible husband to Jamie -- he treated her badly.  It makes sense that Jack would have a more extreme case of hatred towards Cliff. Cliff's totally in denial about abusing Jamie. Of course you're right.

- The Judge at the trial called a recess right in the middle of an examination.  Then he said after the recess would be closing arguments. The judge just can't decided when each of the sides is done with their side of the case.  They're done when they're done. Yet another procedural error! Wow. I sense a tote.

- If Donna was so concerned about letting Ray know about the baby, why didn't she have the senator call him while she was giving birth instead of after the baby was born?  That would save a lot of time. Yes it would. Of course, it would have meant another scene.

Episode 248: Ruthless People

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason]

Pam to Sue Ellen:   "Well Sue Ellen, You can't defend him anymore."
Sue Ellen: "JR?"  

Who did you think?

- After Charlie is nice enough to pick up the phone for Jenna [apparently so she doesn't have to lift her arm] and asks to speak to Ray before she hangs up, Jenna just ignores her! What happened? Did Jenna suddenly get mad at her or something? And Charlie didn't even protest after Jenna put the phone down!

- Phyllis needs a newspaper. When Ellie comes to the office, she calls her "Mrs. Ewing". Huh? Even I've gotten used to the fact that her last name is Farlow now.

- That dismal dinner scene really bothered me. Am I to understand that the Ewings, who take the time to dress up for dinner, allow their children to leave the table without asking to be excused? After JR leaves the table, John Ross just climbs out of his chair without a word and follows him. Was everyone else too frightened to open their mouths?

- This whole time thing is really bothering me again. Mandy tells Sue Ellen that she's had a wonderful 'couple of months'. That would mean two, maybe three, right? Since Episode 234, when she left? Okay. Then why is it that Cliff commented a few episodes ago that his separation from Jamie had lasted 'several months'? This happened the episode AFTER Mandy left. What gives here?

- Mrs. Scottfield seems to be channeling Jenna's spirit. When Wendell arrives at her home, she opens the door just enough for him to scrunch in. Just like Jenna did when Ellie came to her place a few episodes ago. What is wrong with opening the door all the way to allow someone to come in easily?

- And now, a brief editorial rant, if I may. I will save the bulk of this for the I think column, but I was exceedingly disappointed in Ellie's pronouncement today that "The Ewings" are dead. Now, don't get me wrong here. Ellie, the character, has every right to say whatever the hell she wants to anybody. And if she's laying the smackdown on you, you sit there and you take it. And when she's finished, you say "Thank you, ma'am. May I have another?"

Of course, Ellie is right. JR went too far this time. But, as Jason pointed out, he's gone "too far" before. Like when he mortgaged Southfork to buy Asian oil leases. Or financed a counter-revolution to recoup those leases. Or began to deplete Ewing Oil's reserves to win the battle that Jock decreed after his death. And while Ellie didn't like those things, she got through them, and so did everyone else. And in the end the family was stronger because they stuck together when the going was tough.

Well, so much for that. No more close-knit family no more. I just wish Ellie would realize that by taking away her "support" from her sons, she's digging her family's proverbial grave. I believe I am not mistaken that Ellie herself once said, "We may be wrong, we may be right, but we're Ewings, and we stick together. That's what makes us unbeatable."

Well, guess what, Ellie. You spoke true. You're beatable now. Maybe you don't care because you're content to cocoon yourself with Clayton at your ranch. But there's a big world out there for your children and grandchildren to live in. I hope you - and they - are happy.

Now, back to reality.

Rob Frazier said that apparently, the Central INTELLIGENCE Agency is that in name only.  The agent actually TELLS Mrs. Scottfield "we've had a little talk with the editor of the newspaper...," implying that they've LEANED on the editor.  Isn't this the same woman who'd just leaked potentially embarrasing info to the press?!  Who's the agency's director, anyway?  Jane Pauley? This is iffy...clearly they're impressing on Mrs. Scottfield the incredible power they wield. Just so she doesn't try going back to the editor, I guess.

Jeff Reimer commented that I find it unbelievable that a single guy has so much furniture and knick-knacks in a huge house. I've yet to see hired help around, so are we to assume that Ray furnished and cleans his house?  He then should not have any time for a life. Unless I missed it, I'm surprised that this has not been mentioned on your site.
That is very interesting. Come to think of it, I'm very surprised too. Good one!

AHN Joe's corner:
- Well, Donna was good enough to put her makeup on before Ray came to visit her... Val Martin noticed she had makeup on right after giving birth.

- You know, I found it sort of unbelievable for the nurse to have bundled the baby up and brought her up peacefully to Donna's room so quickly after Donna buzzed her.  Such prompt service at this hospital -- it must be Donna's Ewing ties. Must be. It even works in Washington!

AHN Kyle's corner:

- While Valentine Lingerie has enjoyed some success of late (excluding the past "couple of months"), it's more than a little hard to believe Ozwald's statement that they were the biggest lingerie company in the state of Texas (not to mention one of the biggest in the country). While new companies often capture a fair size portion of the market upon initial entry (through clever advertising or cut rate prices), it is highly unlikely that Valentine would reach a position of power so great after so little time. It's practically unheard of (although, they DID have Mandy...). Yeah...I don't know about this. Was Mandy that magical?

- It was very weird when Charlie says to Jenna that she would get the phone for her. She picks up the receiver... and then hands it to Jenna! Now I know she's just trying to help a pregnant lady, but a) the phone was right next to Jenna and b) wouldn't it be even more helpful to actually ANSWER the phone? This was weird.

- While I'm sure that Charlie's behaviour is typical of teenage girls (as you have previously pointed out to me), I still found her shouting at Jenna when she was on the phone to be in quite bad taste. Typically, when someone is on the phone, all other parties LOWER their voices in order to facilitate the phone conversation. Charlie instead chooses the 'talk really loud method'. What she should have done is used generally accepted Telephone Signals to get her point across. a) point at the phone, 2) point at herself 3) extend thumb and baby finger and place near ear to make the universally accepted gesture for "I'd like to use the phone". NO fuss, no muss. Yeah, but she didn't even get to talk to Ray, did she? I get the feeling she would have had to slap Jenna to make her give up the phone. Like mother, like daughter?

- I've mentioned this before but... when Ray has lunch with Senator Dowling in Washington, he is asked what he would like to drink. Ray replies: "a beer will be fine". Well, what kind of beer Ray? Budweiser? Labatt? Coors? Apparently D.C, like Texas, has a tremendous brand of beer with the inventive name of... 'Beer'. Good call!

- Whoa! Easy there, Senator Dowling. He sure did seem to be jumping the gun when he mentions marrying Donna to Ray. Seeing as they aren't even actually dating... And what if Ray mentions this little tidbit to Donna? Wouldn't she be a little upset. Letting this one slip to Ray probably wasn't the best idea. Yeah, this is kind of weird way to introduce this angle.

- If Ozwald is the most dislikable character ever on DALLAS (and he surely is), Mrs. Scottfield's brother, Alfred, has to be the stupidest (not to mention ugliest). Why, oh why did he think that Mr. Editor from the Navarro Times (snicker snicker) wouldn't reveal his sources? We're talking about the freaking CIA here! He's just not very smart. I know he loves his sister, but does he love her enough to spend the next 20 years in jail? Probably not.
Alfred is definitely the most physically repugnant man on the show. No question. In a few seasons, a guy named Alex Barton will appear who might challenge him for that honor... Stupidest? That's quite a thing to say about anybody on the show. There have been a LOT of stupid people. I'll think about that.

- While the phrase "just give me a minute" does not usually mean waiting an actual minute, Sue Ellen's secretary let Mandy in after a mere 12 second wait. Maybe Sue Ellen actually did want a minute to prepare. Who knows. Either way, the best course of action would have to been to have Sue Ellen buzz her secretary when she was ready.
Agreed. Of course, maybe the secretary just figures it'll take Sue Ellen a whole minute to cross her office and go back to her desk which is WAAAAY over there.

- Hmmmm. Those pictures of Calhoun and JR seem to be still photographic shots taken from the tape reel. As previously discussed, taking photos of a screen does not render high quality photos. Although in this case the shots MIGHT work out better because they were taken from a projection, not an image from the tube. Possibly. The CIA would be able to do that.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Sigh   Yet again Jack disappears without a good bye scene...  What a rip off...  ala Leslie Stewart... Oh, this won't be the last time. Wait till Thursday where the spirit of Leslie will raise its platinum-blonde head yet again.

- No disrespect to Ms Ellie but how exactly is her lack of support of her boys's control of Ewing Oil going to affect the company?  They run it. Agreed. Check the rant.

- Note:  Mrs. S looks pregnant to me, not just fat... Pregnant again? Her baby only looks about 6 months old...roughly the time her husband died.

- Alfred is still working for the CIA!!!! He commited a felony!!! Are they that desperate for clerks?
I suspect, unfortunately, that the CIA is only too willing to take on clerks that they can intimidate into shutting up. Besides, if they fired him, he might be tempted to go public with the information at a later date.

- Just a note..  It was nice to see the "Other guy" get the last word in when JR and Bobby were arguing with the Newspaper Editor...

- I knew it! I knew it! When the CIA played hardball with the editor, he crumbled and gave away his sources. I told you last week. You did. Good call.

- When Ray and Dowling meet, The waiter asks Ray for a drink order but not Dowling..   I didn't see any drink in front of him, so I assume the waiter ignored him... I checked and you are right.

- Sue Ellen's secretary buzzed about Mandy and Sue Ellen says  "Show her in" but you see Mandy enter alone..... Hmmmm.....
Hmm indeed. Good point.

Episode 249: The Dark at the End of the Tunnel

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

While trying to calm to make Cliff feel better, Pam says: "don't worry, there's always going to be another deal around the corner." Uh, Pam, that's kind of what's bothering Cliff. Sure there will be lots of deals to be made, but he won't have the necessary capital (which Pam usually provides) to MAKE the deals. That's his whole point. Remember: "this is a really bad time for you to leave"?

- When we see Jenna in her token appearance of this episode, shouldn't she be waddling instead of walking?

- Curious how no one bothered or snickered at Bobby during his lunch at the Oil Baron's Club. Funny how that works.

- I could have sworn that Pam already left's here somewhere...oh yes. Episode 246, when she said she was leaving Barnes-Wentworth. Hmm. Did she come back when we weren't looking?

- Didn't I say that Phyllis should stay away from Jackie? Thanks to her, Cliff got wind of the secret family meeting at JR's office. Seriously, Bobby, tell that woman to know her role.

AOL Jake pointed out: My nit is the fight scene. I liked it, but something bothered me about it, so I watched it several times.  I always notice how the interiors match the  exterior establishing shots of houses on tv, and it has seemed that the Southfork upstairs has many different ends of hallways, which makes it appear as though two hallways form a T--ok, so what? you ask.   We see a closeup of Clayton's bedroom door open, as he views JR in the corridor, with a french door at the other end--probably to one of the balconies.  He throws JR against the table in the middle, then JR heads back to the way Clayton came (or so it appears) as Clayton says the line about him stinking up their lives--but now JR is in front of Pam and Bobby's door at the end of the hallway where Clayton came from.  Now JR gets thrown down the hall again, presumably toward the french door, but now we see the curving wall that leads to the staircase.   In other words, the four different corridor ends suggest we are seeing both parts of the T-shaped floor plan of the upstairs, but nothing in the movement of the actors, or the closeups, or the editing, indicate by any stretch of the imagination that they have turned a corner--and the long shot of the hallway doesn't show a corridor crossing it either. It's as if they filmed parts of different hallway sets that didn't match, and cobbled them together, because as I said, the blocking of the fight doesn't logically take us to those different areas of the hallway.  One of those things that I guess they figured nobody would notice, but I thought it was real obvious--is it just me? Well, since no one else noticed I wouldn't say it was REAL obvious - but it is a good point. Everything happened rather quickly so I'll have to take your word for it.

AHN Joe's corner:

- Start of episode...  Ewing Oil establishing shot...  yellow bus...'nuff said...

-  Because of certain legal and tax reasons, wouldn't it be better for Pam to sell her 25% of Barnes-Wentworth back to Cliff (even if only for, say, $1) rather than give it to Cliff? I don't know. I'll ask Kyle. Probably.
And Kyle responds: I think Joe may be right. By being GIVEN the share of BW, Cliff runs the risk of being taxed on a personal level (and as we all know, personal taxes are much greater than those paid by corporations). I believe that there is some sort of stipulation that states that quote-unquote gifts are to be considered personal assets (as opposed to business or corporate assets). Thus, if Pam SELLS Cliff her share of BW, the taxable value is significantly released (I do believe that for incorporated companies the tax rate hovers around 17%, if not lower).
Now from Pam's standpoint, I'm not so sure. If the giving of BW could be considered a charitable donation which would correspond to a deduction on her tax returns. But then again, CLiff really isn't charity (some might argue that point, however). Anyways, it's safe to say that from a LEGAL standpoint, SELLING (if only for a dollar) would definitely be the way to go. When it comes to a gift, the ownership rights become quite muddled (often leading to lawsuits), no matter how well documented the case is.

- Something that I was thinking about today...  How come no one ever eats at the Cattlemen's Club anymore?  Did it go out of business, or what? It's been upgraded to the Oil Baron's, I guess. Too expensive to keep two sets.

- I'm surprised that Donna doesn't use any powder or such when she changes her daughter's diaper...
As Val Martin [a mother herself] tells me, baby poop is just too fascinating to new moms. I don't get it myself but maybe I will someday. Val responds: It is recommended that powder be used only when baby has a diaper rash. Otherwise, it's counterproductive. Powder turns very pasty when it meets the moisture from baby wetting his pants. So when the next diaper change comes around, mommy is faced with the chore of scraping this adherent paste off baby's bottom. This is very painful for the baby.

- So Donna's got a house and nursery in D.C. already, huh? Looks that way.

- I also found it surprising that Senator Dowling just seemed to invite himself into Donna's home to talk to her...  He didn't knock or ring the doorbell or anything. Apparently he just walked right through the [unlocked!] front door. Well, she did the same thing a few episodes ago. I don't get it myself.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why is Sly turned around in her chair and facing the camera in her first scene?   Her desk is the other way...So we can she what she's doing of course.

- Why would that snobby Maitre d' agree to work out the night if he knows April is going to fire him? I'd just walk out. Jobs aren't that hard to come by.. Good question. Maybe in his case, they're not so easy.

- I liked it how Bobby said "Ray and Gary in CA......"   as opposed to Gary in NYC  or Gary in DC? Good one.

- I am kinda surprised JR DIDN'T invite Cliff to the buy out meeting...  I mean after his family sells out, it would leave him with Cliff for a partner. Why not just buy him out? I guess he has other plans for Cliff. Or maybe he figures Cliff won't bother him since he owns 95% now. I'm not sure.

- Note...  Assuming April's 5% has been bought already.. that leaves Ellie, Ray, Gary and Bobby.....65%  JR or someone says that it will cost $1.5 billion to buy them out...  yet another example of the fluctuating worth of EwingOil...
Well, you're forgetting Cliff now. JR had 30%; my assumption is that he and Bobby split her 5 percent, but let's assume they didn't and he has 35%. Cliff has 5% and so there is 60% outstanding. So if this is worth about $ 1.5 billion then the company is now worth... 2.5 billion.

- Cliff drinks from a (already poured) full tea cup at April's   Kinda gross... Well, I guess he could tell [or guess] that it hadn't been touched. I don't know. Subtle hint to April?

- Could Sue Ellen really hear what JR and Mandy were saying at their meeting? For all she could see and hear, they may have been saying good bye for ever..... I think the hug disturbed her. You're right, of course.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Ok, so today JR says he'll need to over 1.5 billion dollars to buy back the shares. Is he referring to Bobby, Ray, and Miss Ellie's share or is it something else? If he just means Bobby's shares (30%) (highly unlikely) that would place Ewing Oil's value at around $5 billion. If he means Bobby, Ray and Miss Ellie (50%), that would mean Ewing Oil was worth $3 billion. Finally, if he means everyone but Cliff (60%), Ewing Oil total worth would be about $2.5 billion. SO which one is it? It's not entirely clear becuase he's speaking to BObby, but Ray and Ellie are present (and Gary is nowhere to be seen).
Well, Gary gave his power of attorney to Bobby, so the implication is that it's everyone but Cliff. So Ewing Oil is worth 2.5 billion. Now, when JR says 1.5 billion dollars worth of financing, he may be tacking on interest, etc. I don't know.

- I know Cliff was just trying to get a rise out of JR, but I'm almost certain that he wouldn't be able to change the name of the company (if JR controls 95%, 85% or even 35%). Cliff would have to have majority ownership to make changes. Yes. It's just to get a rise.

- Kudos to DALLAS for not resorting to Hollywood-like dialogue at the end of the show. JR says (with regard to Clayton): "he's not breathing". CORRECT. Hollywood films when someone has been seriously injured: "he's dead". INCORRECT. I hate in when somebody keels over in a movie and then two seconds later soemone checks their pulse ande declares that the person is deceased. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. While not breathing is obviously not ideal, it doesn't mean the person is dead. Ever heard of CPR? Emergency rooms? Ambulances? I think you get the point... I get the point.
AHN Jason responds: Technically, if a person stops breathing, they are considered clinically dead.  (usually the first 3-4 minutes )   at this point if CPR or whatever means needed is used and breathing is started up again, the person mostly likely suffers little brain damage.    Now AFTER 3-4 minutes, the person's brain cells start to die and there is permanent damage to organs,  this is called biological death..  Even if revived, there will be permanant "scars"....  My point is that people (in soaps, say) who declare a non-breather as dead  are correct from a medical stand-point even though they are not necessarily  "hopelessly dead".

AHN Jake's corner:

- Bobby's secretary says she's not at liberty to tell Sly what's going on with Bobby, or rather, she tells Sly NOT to ask her.  Yet Kendall, for some reason, walks out of Bobby's office. Why would she go in there, for one, and for another, if what was going on inside was top-secret, why would Kendall be allowed in? Hey, that's a good one! I can't believe I missed that.

-Dora Mae asks Bobby and his secretary what they want to drink.  Then she says she will send the waitress over?  First of all, why ask if someone else is doing it, and also, why would Dora Mae be tending to people after their meal? The real world reason: the producers didn't want to pay Cassie to do it.

AHN Mike's corner:

- The wardrobe people for this episode must have been laughing their asses off after the way they conned the cast into some of those ridiculous looking clothes. Pam's opening outfit was not only hideous, it was most unflattering (made her ass look wide enough to show a drive-in movie on and we know she doesn't have a fat ass) and actually gave you vertigo if you stared at it to long. I can't even bring myself to stare at Pam anymore. Isn't that pathetic?

- And what was that outfit on Jenna when Ray came home? It had red and white rectangular objects hanging from one side of the chest. What were those anyhow? I didn't notice. I'll have to watch this again.

- Even Bobby got put into a couple of ugly suits. I don't remember exactly what they had Jackie in but it was extremely dowdy. They seem to go to tremendous lengths to make Jackie look plain. She rarely wears anything but minimal makeup and her clothes are usually unflattering despite the fact that she has a fine figure. I guess they wanted Pam and Jamie to look better by comparison, otherwise it would look like Jackie should be the one married to the multi-millionaire.
I suspect you're right. Can't have the secretary looking too good.

- If Phyllis knew what was going on with the flurry of activity in Bobby's office (she implied she did when she refused to tell Sly), why did Bobby have to take her out to lunch to tell and have her break down crying like she was surprised? I was actually impressed with Deborah Tranelli's acting ability in this scene. She rarely gets anything to do. I checked her imdb bio once and found out she actually starred in a movie which looked to be a recheap remake of the reviled "I Spit On Your Grave", the first woman's vengeance movie with over the top violence.
I think she suspected that something was up but wasn't sure. After all, Bobby was just looking for information, so for all Phyllis knew, he was just getting audited or something. This is kind of weird,

- I've about had it with this Clayton as tough guy portrayal. It's one thing for him to play verbally  tough with JR, a known non-tough guy who is much smaller. But those four clods in the Oil Baron's Club should have taken him up on his offer to go outside and beat the crap out of him. He may be tall but he looks 70 and has a paunch and these guys were decades younger. Also, his mauling of JR last night was a bit unbelievable too. And as someone pointed out, nobody in the Oil Baron's busted Bobby's (a known hot head with a fists first attitude) balls.
I pointed that out because it was true! It seems too convenient to just have Ellie be bothered by boorish morons. Why doesn't someone say something to Bobby, even if it is under their breath? Would have been more realistic.

- Perhaps the the scene that really stunk up the place (both literally and figuratively) was Donna's cooing infatuation with baby poop. My guess is that in real life, mother's don't get all that thrilled over it.
Val Martin disagrees with you. Here's what she had to say:

-- Every new (especially first-time) parent is preoccupied with every aspect of their baby's diaper contents. Items of concern include frequency, amount, color, and consistency. In fact, I once attended a parenting class where a pediatrician was the guest speaker. One mommy asked about the consistency of her daughter's poop. The doctor responded a) that he gets more questions about poop than any other aspect of newborn health. And b) yes, her daughter was perfectly normal. Basically, it's a sign of good health if a baby has plenty of good quality poop. Not too soft; not too hard. It also means that the baby is getting enough to eat, and therefore thriving. That's probably what Donna was so happy about.

- Anybody having any doubts about Senator Dowling being an honest politician should have had them dispelled by him running out of a top secret justice department meeting to leak the news to Donna. But I'm sure many people guessed he was a little wacky when he told Ray (before he told Donna) that he was going to ask her to marry him. Besides getting this seriously out of order, what kind of an idiot wants to marry somebody he hasn't even kissed (let alone had any inkling of whether they are sexually compatible)? Maybe he thinks Donna will let him do a JR and keep his younger babe on the side and that's where the real sex will be. I suppose so. That is very interesting come to think.

Episode 250: Two-fifty

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Jason]

"It didn't start out the way it ended up" - Bobby. HUH?  Does anything ever?

I'll leave it to the AHNs today because I'm so happy about my vindication regarding Clayton. Check the Line of the Day if you don't understand.

AOL Jake rants: As someone pointed out, Miss Ellie was all too calm after her hysteria over Donna's phone call, and it bugged me that we went from Clayton "not breathing" to him on the stretcher, insisting he doesn't need to go to the hospital--all in all, they blew up a big balloon of tension and just clumsily burst it a week later. Plus, it seems we have to endure yet another "Clayton and Ellie keep secrets from each other" story.
Well, other than these stories, Clayton and Ellie have very little to do in their nonsexual world that seems to envelop everyone over fifty-five. Good rant.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Why did JR meet the Man in Black in the hotel room?  Does the CIA have a permanent suite there for these secret meetings?
Maybe they get a special hourly rate.

- Just a note. There is a sharp jump (cut) when Dora Mae leads Wendell to his table. Didn't notice. Thanks.

- Nice hat for the MIB when he leaves JR at the hotel room.Very nice. [snicker]

- Just a note..  Depending on the camera angle, Alfred actaully looks fairly good looking.  In some shots they show his bad side but today his face looks fine..   not ugly like someone else has pointed out....  guess it is the way he is filmed...
He's not an ugly guy, he just always has that ugly look on his face. What's up with that?

- Does Alfred live with his sister or what?  He is always there. I don't think he lives with his sister, but it saves the producers another set.

- Ok this one may or may not be a nit..   Dowling says that JR, Ray and Bobby will "all hang together"  if found guilty...  Aside from losing Ewing Oil, what exactly could the Justice dept. pin on Ray?  He owns part of Ewing Oil but does not have any say in the running of the business...  Kinda confused me..   Also with that assumption,  Gary, Ellie and (possibly Jack, Cliff and
April)  would hang if owning Ewing Oil recently means you are responsible for the company's involvement with the BD affair...  get my drift?  Yes, I get your drift. Not Jack or April, who have sold out, of course. This is subtly confusing at this point. Of course, we know that Ray and Bobby were both 'in' on the Calhoun shooting - but should anyone know that detail at this point? Senator Dowling? Donna?

- Jenna's padding looks really fake...  I half expected a pillow to fall out when she "went into labor". She WAS pregnant at the time. Maybe they augmented it, but she was carrying a son.
Val Martin responds: While we all know PP was really pregnant at the time, it's a fact that all women carry their babies very differently. Some carry high. Others carry low (Jenna). Some stick way out. Others carry in their backs.

- Note..  (Tote?)  the bus footage is shown again.. Yup. I saw it. They only used the latter part of it.

- Since we are approaching the end of the season I can Nit-pick something that has been bugging me for a few weeks..   Donna's housing arrangements... From what I read, Dallas had to undergo some massive budget cuts this season, partially due to higher salaries (such as the one that got Patrick Duffy back)  For this reason several minor characters were phased out--Jamie, Jack, Mandy (I believe as of thurs episode)  and Donna and Pam (although in the case of these two and possibly Dack Rambo they had all expressed a desire to "move on" as well).   My point..well at different points this season we see Donna in her Texas office, her house in Turtle Creek, Margaret's nursery, and I think a hotel room. All the total of ONE time each..    If Dallas is so $$ conscious at this point, why not write these scenes into existing sets instead of putting up the cash to make up a set for a minute or two scene and NEVER see it again..especially the Turtle Creek house..  this sub-sub plot was pointless... she moves into the house for what an episode and then it is never seen again....Why not just have her move directly from Southfork to DC?   For that matter, when did she move all of her things to DC?
This is a very deep nit. Nice one.

AHN Joe's corner:

- Well, Jenna forgot to waddle again today...  At least in the hospital scene...   I guess we can forgive her though because she opened the door all the way for Bobby when he came by... Yeah, and so did Mrs. Scottfield! Impressive. But I don't know what happened to the waddle. I know Priscilla was really pregnant, so this is weird.
Val Martin responds: Newsflash! Not all pregnant ladies waddle. I never did.

- Towards the beginning of his conversation in the hospital, I seem to remember Clayton talking about how he needed to be more active.  Then, he tells the doctor "I've been active my whole life."  So why do you need to be more active, Clayton?
Yeah...yeah! I forgot about that. Something struck me as odd but I couldn't remember what.

- Since when does Pam ring Cliff's doorbell and not announce herself until asked?   She usually just bangs on the door and yells "It's Pam, open up" or something to that effect, except when she simply barges right in.
Maybe she was so awestruck by the fact that Cliff [unlike everyone else in Dallas] decided to LOCK the door.

- Is Mandy channelling Ellie's spirit?  She's riding an exercise bike! Maybe the reason J.R.'s attracted to her is because she reminds him of his mother...  hehe...
Oooh...Freudian. I like it. And did I detect some sheepishnees in Sly's voice when she told JR that Mandy had arrived? Something happened, man. I know it did.

- The Washington D.C. restaurant that Donna, Senator Dowling, and Bobby are dining in looks suspiciously like the Dallas area restaurant that J.R. and Mandy met at yesterday. Are you sure? I know it's the same one that Ray and the Senator were at two episodes ago, but I'm not sure about it being in Dallas. Dave H says he's certain he's seen that establishing shot used for a Dallas restaurant too, so you could be right.

- The outdoor scene that can be seen beyond Mrs. Scottfield's front door when it is opened looks completely fake, just like a painted flat...Apparently the set design isn't trying any more either...<sigh>... I didn't notice. I'll have a look.

- Does Alfred have a cold or something?  He sounded abnormally gruff today. More so than usual? It's so hard to tell.

- Scene with Mandy going to Ewing Oil...  Establishing shot...  Yellow bus...   'Nuff said.

- I am genuinely surprised that all of those DOJ men managed to get into the Ewing Oil offices and start lugging that many things in and out before Sly managed to tell J.R..   Has Sly been associating with Jackie lately?  Maybe "Jackieism" is contagious, and Phyllis would have been exposed the other day... hmmm...Yeah, it must be going around. Or maybe Mandy's presence...oh, well, enough of that.

AHN Jake's corner:

- Ellie seems to be doing really well -- not a tear in her eye.  She was bawling not long ago. Funny how that works.

- What's with Cliff's sudden change in attitude?  Yesterday when he went to see April, he was very eager for her to finance him. But today, at first, he is kind of hostile and unwilling. Can you say "time-filling?"

- Why does the doctor stay in the room when Ellie is talking to Clayton? I know he had something to tell him, but he could have stepped out for a few minutes.  Let them have some time alone. Yeah, that is odd. Good one.

- Why doesn't Pammy tell Cliff exactly what kind of trouble Ewing Oil is in and the extent of trouble it's in?  This way he would have the whole story and there would be a better chance he would sell.  But I guess if she told him this, he might sell, and that would be no good plot-wise. Perhaps she doesn't know all of the details yet. Or maybe she realizes that telling Cliff the details might give him the idea to make things worse [if that's possible]. Tough call.

- Again Jeremy Wendell's table isn't ready.  Get with it Oil Baron's!
Yes, I noticed that too. But I wondered whether Wendell, being very much a creature of habit, likes a particular table and doesn't mind waiting for it to be cleared or something.

- Ah, no Cassie, today. Instead a woman who looked very much like Cassie. Gettin' cheap. Very.  I noticed this too.

- Why does Ray embarrass Jenna, Bobby, and himself by telling the nurse to congratulate Bobby, for he's the father?  He should just let it be. Jenna, Ray, and Bobby know the truth. He's just being Ray. Don't forget that he's the one who blurted the whole thing out to Pam in the first place.

AHN Mike's corner:

- My wife pointed out that Pam took the time to change clothes before the ambulance came to take Clayton away. Her wardrobe must be so extensive that she has clothes appropriate for such an occasion. And didn't Clayton fall down the stairs at night? Everybody was home from the office when he attacked JR. Yet he's stretchered out in bright daylight with birdies singing in the background. Excellent points.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I guess Bobby and JR shared April's shares after all. Today Bobby says that he has JUST as much invested in Ewing Oil as JR. Not ALMOST as much, JUST as much. Clearly the two currently own 32.5% of Ewing Oil.
I assume as much. It seemed logical because there was talk of selling them back to "Ewing Oil". If JR planned to eat them up for himself, he wouldn't have told Bobby.

- The line "your ass is grass and so-and-so is the lawnmower" loses a lot of its effectiveness when it is "cleaned" up (ie. CIA guy replacing ass with behind). In fact, it sounds downright lame. Come on CIA, let it all hang out!

- Ok, we all know that Ray intensely dislikes JR, but to what extent? Does he hate him enough to lose $200 million? Apparently, the answer is yes. Now Ray is by no means a poor man, but $200 mil is $200 mil, you'd think he'd at least try to assist JR in some capacity. Well, as we find out, he doesn't lose it all.

- To summarize (and I must point out that I am the foremost expert on this subject)- Mandy in a Cowboys uniform: very, very good. Mandy in a gymnastics leotard: (surprisingly) bad. I can't belive I'm about to say this, but Mandy looks a tad (gasp!) portly in the spandex suit (although that pan of her body on the massage machine was top notch). I knew you would think so. Mandy did look kind of strange in that leotard. You're right.

- Sue Ellen really doesn't seem like the styrofoam cup coffee drinker. Yet at the lingerie shoot (or rather, non-shoot) she's derinking from one. Somebody get this woman a mug!! Excellent call! I totally missed that.

- Hmmm. Is that restaurant in D.C the only place where Senator Dowling eats? Perhaps it's the Senate-men's (or Senator's) Club... No money for another set, man.

- Give me a break Mandy. How long have you been gone for? Three, four months? How can you possibly be a "changed" women? (as she has mentioned on at least three seperate occasions since returning). "Yes, JR, I'm still hopelessly in love with you, but now I exercise!" Yeah, you sent this one. Good call.

Episode 251: Fall of the House of Ewing

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of AHN Kyle]

Clayton - "I'm exercising!"
Ellie - "But look at you, you're all sweaty and out of breath!"
Funny how that works.

Full House Moment meter: 1. Obviously, the scene with Pam, Bobby, and Christopher about his adoption. Ray and Jenna's scene came close, but I'd have to count it out for the time being. If you think this should be a moment, send me your case and I'll consider it.

- There is a lot of lameness in today's episode given how good it was. First of all, why did the Department of Justice shrink-wrap the DESKS at Ewing Oil? What possible purpose could this serve? Wouldn't it be better to just empty out the desks [since they're confiscating stuff anyway] rather than going through all that trouble?

- As I am sure resident mom Val will point out, Jenna looks awfully good for a woman who's just given birth. Even better than Donna, although her hair could use some work. And as soon as I typed that, Val responded that Jenna looked reasonably normal for a woman who just had a baby. She was lying back, as if tired. Her hair was combed, yet plain and drab. In other words, Jenna's postpartum appearance as we saw it was accurately portrayed.

- Here's one that I almost called a nit, but is actually a non-nit. With all the talk of losing Ewing assets, my mind went back to Season 2 when JR mortgaged Southfork to finance his Asian venture. At the time, JR was told that he could do this because of his position as CEO of Ewing Enterprises, of which Southfork was legally considered an asset. So, I wondered, why is Southfork not endangered now? Then I remembered that after Jock's will was read, Ewing Enterprises probably ceased to exist, and ownership of Southfork was given to Ellie, so it is safe.

- And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about Pam's wild ride home. All of the AHNs did, and several others, so I'll try to summarize the lameness here: [sorry I can't give everyone credit but there's a lot of overlap].

  1. First of all, when the white trash gets in front of her, she just honks at them to go faster. I could forgive this if, when she finally made an effort to pass them, she actually TRIED to go faster than them instead of just moving to the other lane and addling on beside them. Certainly Bobby's turbo-charged Mercedes could easily lose these turkeys.
  2. Then, when she sees the oncoming van bearing down on her, she cuts off the white trash instead of just slowing down and letting all of the nasty traffic go away. Would she do this if Christopher were in the car?
  3. And what was the POINT of this scene? Yes, in retrospect, it foreshadows something wicked on the Texas roadways. But exactly what did it accomplish? I didn't see any plot or character development.
  4. Okay, Pam's escaped from the bad guys. So what does she do? Call Bobby on the car phone, of course. Sounds like a logical thing to do.
  5. What the hell kinds of intersections do they have in Texas, anyway? That corner is a death trap if you can't see a huge gas truck coming the opposite way.
  6. And here is the worst one of all. When the fateful crash is about to occur, the truck driver BRAKES so that it can broadside Bobby's car! It BRAKES, I tell you! And then comes to a dead stop! Think about it: if the truck were actually moving forward, its momentum would carry it forward, and slightly away from the direction of the crash, right? At least, that's what happens in the real world. Do the laws of physics not apply here?

Val also pointed out that the decor in Jenna's recovery room was way too fancy for a hospital. That armoire in the background was nice, quality maple(?) wood. Not the usual laminate coated particle board that adorns hospital rooms.

Val finally astutely wondered about Christopher asking about his birth mother; specifically, what happened to her. Pam saved face when she said they'd answer all his questions when he's older. No matter what, I hope they never elaborate the fact that she died in the very pool in which the boy swims. That would be morbid at any age. A very macabre turn on things, Val. I never thought of it that way.

Tim Blackburn noticed that Ray picks up Jenna at Dallas Memorial. Shouldn't Bobby have taken her to Braddock Emergency when she went into labor? He certainly should have!

AHN Jason's corner:

- I had a hard time believing that JR and Sly would have an office meeting in his office after everything has been sealed and locked away.  Heck even her office phone was off it seems but they let JR's phone stay on?  sure... That was just dumb! Why did they shrink-wrap the desks?

- This one is a security rant of sorts but how the heck does everyone get into the Ewing building AFTER the DOJ confiscates it..   Mrs S, JR and John Ross, etc.   seems kinda unlikely...
Well, it's closed for business but they can't stop people from going in and out. After all, the Ewings still own the building until it's officially sold. I remember a time when one of the struggling businesses in our building got a visit from some unfriendly bailiffs. The guys told the business owner that he couldn't perform any transactions until their bill was paid but they couldn't lock the door or anything to prevent people from entering the place.

- Dowling asks Donna for a soda water and she pours a perrier. Really? Good one.

- JR asks for a Bourbon but not a Bourbon and Branch like he usually does when he is talking to the justice guy..  Since branch is just water, would it be that unreasonable to ask for it? No, it wouldn't be unreasonable. Maybe JR wanted it straight.

- How could JR see the security camera in the fire extinguisher?  I couldn't even see it in the close up.. Quite a piece of detective work! I agree.

- They really cut it close with installing the camera so soon before JR was to arrive. They knew about this meeting for hours...
Very bizarre. I suspect that the DoJ didn't get help from the CIA on this one, so they were a bit amateurish.

- Christopher's hair looks wet or gelled when he meets with Pam and Bobby, but he is wearing PJ's and a robe.... looks like he just got out of bed... did he shower and then change into his PJ's again? I think it's gelled.

- Sue Ellen seems to have gotten a new do about halfway through the episode...   possible I suppose.... Possible, but a good point.

- Ok  so now Ewing Oil is worth 2 billion dollars..   this is getting so confusing... Well, look at the bright side. We never have to worry about it again.

-  A possible phantom tote.  When Sly comes into JR's office and announces the DOJ guys are carting away the files, it appears that some DOJ personnel are taking files BACK  away from the lobby towards the "boys" offfices.... hmm did the Phantom possess them... Yeah! Good call.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I don't think the newspaper of JR and Mandy is the same as the one at the end of yesterday's episode. JR's face is different, I think. I'll check.
AHN Joe responds:I noticed this right away myself, but I decided not to say anything because newspaper photographers tend to take as many pictures as they possibly can, so it's quite possible and probable that the picture in the paper was taken later, and used instead of the first one.

- You'll have to ask Anne but today's music (esp. at the end of Mandy's first scene) was strikingly similar to the score from Conundrum. I'll ask her.
AHN Joe responds: Kyle also said that the music in the scene with J.R., John Ross, and Wendell was the same as in Conundrum. While I haven't seen that episode yet, it's most likely because as I pointed out in an E-Mail yesterday, that particular incidental music has been around since the 2nd season, I believe.

- The whole Pam and Cliff thing is bizarre. A couple of days ago she says she has no brother, and yet today she's confiding in him like nothing ever happened. Funny, I don't remember Cliff apologizing (ever). If you want to teach Cliff a lesson you've got to stick to your guns! Excellent call! I forgot about that.

- Rock on! I'm glad that JR's behaviour today was consistent with his character. He's way too smart to fall for that trap. The Justice Dept. guy was about as subtle as a heart attack. Looks like back to Entrapment 101 for him. Yeah. I'm not very happy with the way JR suddenly reverts to his old form NOW. Why couldn't he have done something smart five episodes ago?

- Has Clayton's doctor ever heard of a little thing called "doctor-patient confidentiality" (I don't think there is a 'spousal
exemption' in medicine). Guess not. I don't think Clayton's going to be too pleased. Beware of Ox, Doc! Yes. This was a terrible breach of confidentiality. Clayton should sue that doctor's monkey ass.

- I would NOT have brought my son (if I had one) to see my empire be torn apart. This seems like a strange move on JR's part. Val Martin said so too. I questioned that, and maybe I'm kidding myself, but I disagree. I think JR was trying [perhaps misguidedly] to demonstrate to John Ross that life will go on. It'll be different but it will go on.

AHN Joe's corner:

- So suddenly Pam is able to have a child and carry it to term?  When did this happen??? I have an educated guess for the exact moment: the very second when she went into Leonard Katzman's office and said she wanted to pursue "other interests".

- When Clayton's doctor is buzzed by his secretary, he hits a button to answer her. However, he doesn't hit the button again when his conversation with her is over, so the secretary can presumably hear what is going on in her boss's office during the meeting with Miss Ellie. This guy would be a perfect match for Jackie as a boss. Interesting.

- This is not a nit, but wouldn't it have been great if it was Jock at the Oil Baron's with Ellie instead of Clayton -- Jock would have started a brawl right there for sure! And kicked all their asses in the process! As Eric Cartman would say...
OH HELL YEAH! As I will say in the "I think", I just kind of wish that Wes Parmalee would have come of nowhere and slugged Jeremy Wendell for even thinking about taking his portrait down.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Just one point on the hypocrisy of Mrs. Scottfield. She wants to close down Ewing Oil (which she only partially succeeded in doing) to get back at the Ewings for capping the wells and putting her husband and others out of a job. How many hundreds of people lost their jobs as a result of the Justice Department's penalties against Ewing Oil? Had she been successful in driving them completely out of business it would have been even more. Being angry does strange to people. I suppose your right. You've given me a nice idea for an "I think" section - thanks.

- Did you notice she was all glammed up with a nice dress and makeup for her gloat-fest with Bobby. Too bad Bobby's baser instincts didn't take over and he slugged her. I noticed. Wendell works pretty fast, I figure.

-This episode must have been an example of the mistaken theory that if one season-ending cliffhanger is a good thing, multiple cliffhangers must be better: Pam's accident, Ewing Oil's demise, The Ox's heart condition, JR vows revenge against Wendell, the portended Sue Ellen-Mandy death match, etc. Good point. A misguided attempt to make up for the fact that so many things are going to change next season. But in a way it makes sense because almost EVERYBODY's contract was up at the end of this season, so the producers really couldn't say what they were going to have at their disposal next season. I guess they wanted to leave their options open.

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