Season 2 (1979 - 1980)

Episode 30: Whatever Happened to Baby John, Part 1

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Cliff three times and Bobby once: "Both of them - Sue Ellen and the baby." ( OK once for emphasis, but FOUR times!)

Pam Award:

Pam's bouncy low-cut dress was DA BOMB.

Angelica Award:

Ellie's theater usher outfit at the hospital.

Bobby Award:

Cliff arguing with Bobby in front of the hospital. Use a comb, Cliff.

April Award:

Nothing too bad.

Sue Ellen denial meter: 3.

Denies she had a drinking problem; tells Bobby she doesn't know what he's talking about when he mentions her affair with Cliff; and tells Bobby she doesn't know what he means when Bobby accuses her of turtling.

HNP Ahmer's Corner:

- I'm sure I'm not the only one bothered by Sue Ellen's miraculous recovery. Surely the writers could have milked this angle for something more.

- Pam's hair is significantly longer than in the previous episode. Not impossible, but it certainly doesn't look like it could happen in a week or less.

- Why exactly does JR drive through the pastures before coming to the ranch house? Was it really this important for Bobby, Ray, and Jock to be able to wave to Sue Ellen? Or for Bobby to see how disturbed she is?

- It's tough for me to be hard on Connie because she looked awfully good today. But both she and Louella need to know their roles. There is no need to tell two ex-convicts all about what's happening to the Ewing family, especially the day they've been paroled. Do they not know these guys are nogoodnicks?

- And speaking of which, some hospital nurse needs to know her role too. There is no reason to tell "a friend" [as Cliff claims to be] the condition of the Ewing baby. For all they know, he's a reporter or a psychopath.

- Coincidentally, there's a Dr. Rogers in the neonate unit at Dallas Memorial, just as there was in the sanitarium. Couldn't the writers have come up with a different name?

- I don't know who that is dusting the livingroom and using that fake Mexican accent, but it ain't Theresa. Who has Raoul scammed into the country this week?

- JR calls Ellie "mother" towards the end of the episode.

- Does anyone else understand how JR convinces Sue Ellen to 'behave' like a Ewing wife? I've played their conversation back on my TV and in my mind over and over again and I just don't understand what he says or does to change her mind.

- When JR and Sue Ellen come to the hospital, all of the people thronged there conveniently leave the nearest parking spot available for them. submitted:

Today they had Ray say "Here comes Ewing 3." [when JR and Sue Ellen drove up to the ranch]. Now any normal person would have said "Here comes JR & Sue Ellen." Now if it was one of the ranch trucks and they didn't have a clue who was driving the comment might be made to describe the vehicle instead of the driver, but not JR's Mercedes. That would be like my kids saying "Here comes the Buick" when their dad drives up instead of saying "Dad's home!"

HNP Ahmer Responds: Absolutely right! I found this odd too, but then again, Ray said it, so you could spin it either way.

From Ewing99:

- I believe again, the arrangement on the ranch has changed. Probably because of John Ross, they had a new room for him. But, the writings on his wall: "hophop", "lion"- really printings? Bobby looked very silly, when he looked into this room. Seemed that though he listened very loud to the melodies of the toys, he thought Sue Ellen was not there until he saw her.

- Then on the day when John Ross was kidnapped, JR came to an very early morning to the ranch. Probably he had worked only one hour, but I think I had recognized something around 9 or 10 AM. the later in the hospital it was 9:30. Nevertheless, everything seemed to happen in only one hour.

AHN Val's corner:

- When Sue Ellen and JR come home from the hospital, it is way evident that she lost all her baby weight all too quickly. Ok, so maybe she has a quick metabolism. Some women lose weight quicker than others. I can live with that. But I am most bothered by her chest size. She is WAY TOO SMALL for someone who just had a baby. About two days after a baby's birth, the mother's milk comes in, causing her breasts to become engorged, overfilled, rock-hard, and VERY painful. The producers should be giving us ladies a little more credit here. They should have had the costumers put Linda Gray in a loose-fitting blouse with a padded bra (D-cup, minimum). Sue Ellen should be so huge that she'd be making Pammy look like a 12-year old boy.

AHN Jason's corner:

- BBG's new credits finally have a 3 face shot.  Much better. Ken Kercheval has finally gotten into the credits. Good, he did much more last season that Ray.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yup. And he will this season too.

- So how did Willie Joe get that new blonde perm in jail?  Trading favors with Biff or Tyrone in the courtyard?

- Sue Ellen has no purse when she goes with JR to the hospital to see the baby.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I just found it odd that JR is wearing his sunglasses in the hospital.

HNP Ahmer Responds: So did Jason.

- That screw worm "epidemic"  seemed a little superfluous.  I know it would have been over-kill ( no pun intended), but I was hoping for a "Hud" scene where they have to herd all the cattle into a ditch and shoot them.

HNP Ahmer Responds: This is so lame, especially since this storyline goes NOWHERE.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Bobby worked up a Clayton-type sweat in the front of his shirt for that cattleherding scene. I'm sure this scene must have set the all-time TV record for using the word "screw-worm".

- JR has a nasty habit of fixing a drink for people (in this case, his mother) by taking the ice in his grubby hands and putting it in the glass, instead of using a utensil.

- Aw isn't that cute! Lucy has a little portable trainer bar at the pool where she can serve soda to herself and friends.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure you're finding it tough to refrain from making more snide comments here.

- All right, the debut of Harve Smithfield. But JR, if he's been the Ewing Oil attorney from the very beginning, how come we haven't seen or heard about him for a whole year?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Jock mentioned him in Episode 21 - he said he was going to see him. But we didn't see him.

- Larry Hagman appears to have added a new rug and several extra pounds. I believe this is now the classic JR rug style that he wears for many succeeding seasons. Ken Kercheval stopped dying his hair for season two.

- Why do JR and Jock sit four seats apart at the breakfast table when nobody else is there?

- Is it me or does the road in front of Southfork seem much, much closer to the house when someone is seen driving up to the house and driveway than it does when you see someone leaving the driveway and turning onto the road. The difference in distance seems four to five times as far in the latter scenes.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I've noticed this too. It's bothered me for a while.

- And if the Ewings are so rich, why does Miss Ellie have to go downstairs to the foyer to answer the phone? You mean there's no phones upstairs at all?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent call.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter 3:  Pam and Lucy both had one when they arrived home from the hospital. Sue Ellen carried one when she and J.R. arrived home from the hospital early in the episode.  Then she carried the same purse when she got out of the car at the hospital near the end. But when she entered the hospital her purse was nowhere to be found!

- Cliff got a Ewing parking place right outside of the government building he works in.

- Sue Ellen didn't have on her wedding ring when she was looking at the babies in the first scene.  This is understandable, she shouldn't have her diamond ring with her at the hospital.  But she's wearing it when she and and J.R. arrive at Southfork.   That's even more stupid. Unless J.R. brought it to her for appearance sake, she should really have that rock on her all the time during her hospital stay.

- When Pam asked the nurse if she could give John Ross his bottle, she took her hand. That was bizarre!

- I realize Cliff's whole reason for living at this point is to 'get the Ewings'.   But he is in public office. I would think he would be smart enough to realize that pouring all of his time and energy in to going after the Ewings would become quite obvious to the powers that be.  He could at least work on a few other things to make it appear less obvious.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Apparently he has been up to this point.

-  J.R. must have bought Sue Ellen some new luggage between the time of her sanitarium visit and the time she left the hospital.  When she left for the sanitarium, she had a gray patterned cloth suitcase. When she arrived home from the hospital J.R. carried a camel colored leather suitcase.

- When Sue Ellen was going to 'go up to change to go in to Dallas' she left nearly a full plate of food.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's fairly typical, isn't it?

- A rare sight! Raoul was serving J.R. coffee and we saw Theresa, I guess, in the background DUSTING!!

HNP Ahmer Responds: That was NOT Theresa. No way. This woman had long hair and she actually had body curves. Maybe they call her Theresa because they have to, but this is some woman named Manuela that Raoul snuck across the border this week.

- J.R. called Jock 'Dad' at the breakfast table.

- OK, this is pathetic!  Sue Ellen is sunbathing, not a problem.  The main objective when sunbathing is to get a tan.  So, why is Sue Ellen wearing panty hose with her swimsuit?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Someone else pointed this out. My guess: Linda knows she has to go upstairs and get dressed so she got a head start. Or perhaps she forgot to shave her legs.

- There isn't ONE hospital staff member waiting somewhere near the front entrance or outside for J.R. and Sue Ellen to arrive, they're all hanging out at the nurse's station. It's horrible that they would have to hear this kind of news from a reporter.

Episode 31: Whatever Happened to Baby John, Part 2

Bonehead Dialogue [courtesy of Alett]

> JR: "She's JUST been in terrible automobile accident. SEVERAL weeks ago."

Honorable mention: [courtesy of Bill Withrow]

> Pam to Bobby after hearing the radio bulletin about the kidnapping: "Is it true?"

Pam Award:

SURPRISE! I'd have to say Pam looked kinda ordinary today. My vote goes to Lucy in that hot little black tube top and skirt.

Angelica Award:

Mrs. Reeves's karate suit. JR for wearing a dark brown cowboy hat with a light blue suit, as Mike suggests, also bears mentioning.

Bobby Award:

Mrs. Reeves again. Willie Joe's hair isn't too hot either.

April Award:

Jeb for taking his hands off the briefcase full of money to go and get a drink.

- When the Ewings are watching the TV newscast about John Ross's kidnapping, the screen we see is obviously not what the cast is seeing, or else the image would be wavy and out of sync.

- Something Mr. Angelino...I mean Detective Roland says bothered me. He tells the family that a professional kidnapper would know that the Southfork phone is being tapped. Um, so why are you tapping the phone? Clearly he must figure that it's NOT a professional kidnapper, but this just seems like a really odd thing to say.

- I know I keep harping on this but it bugs the hell out of me! It's the parking thing again. Bobby goes to Cliff's office - a government office - and parks right in front of the main entrance. No other cars are along the street. Yeah, right.

- When Bobby leaves Cliff's office, he talks to himself and is badly dubbed. Then he pulls THE MOST illegal U-turn I've ever seen in my life.

- And the parking fairy follows Bobby all the way to the hospital, where he gets the nearest parking spot to the door. Cliff has to settle for the THIRD nearest spot. Poor Cliff.

- For the doctors at Dallas Memorial to allow Bobby [or anyone, for that matter] access to medical records without a search warrant is so egregious that I will refrain from further comment.

- And then when JR returns to Ewing Oil after getting the cash from Vaughn, he also parks in the cushy spot in front of the revolving doors.

- But now, wait a minute....where is JR going? He's walking into a building that says 'First International Building' does this mean Ewing Oil is NOT in the Ewing building? Yet?

- When Jeb Ames open the cash-laden briefcase, there are some pens in the holders...why? Is this just an extra gift from JR?

- Hey, Bobby, be nice. Priscilla agreed to return John Ross without a fuss. You could at least let her LOCK her own door as you leave her house.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Ray seems to have dyed his hair.  It looks a lot darker.  Well, I guess he needs something to do aside from collecting Lucy Awards.

- Lucy seems to park right in front of her school in what looks to be the no parking zone.

- Does Sue Ellen ever sleep in night clothes? She seems to always pass out in bed in her street clothes.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Occasionally we see her in lingerie. Not recently.

- There is a sharp continuity error when Pam stops walking when the baby bulletin is heard on the radio.  Her head is faced in a different direction.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Anyone else think Nurse Reeves was once an East German shot-putter or Larry "Bud" Melman's sister?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes! [In real life, she's Jocelyn Brando - sister of Marlon].

- Interesting that Bobby's detective gene has been absorbed into Pam.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She stands by and looks pretty most of the time. Today she actually did most of the work!

- A minor hair problem - Lucy's locks are fairly straight at school, but when she arrives back at Southfork, they're pretty curly.

- We don't know for sure when Mrs. Duncan's baby died, but shouldn't Pam have realized something before the baby cries?  Mrs. Duncan was at the hospital that morning and tells Pam, "I was just visiting him," so shouldn't that be the tip-off?  She would have been visiting a dead baby.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps they didn't look closely enough at the records. It's possible he also died that morning. Bear in mind that Pam may not have been at the hospital that morning [since she expected that John Ross would be home that day] so she has no way of disproving whether or not she was there.

AHN Mike's corner:

- I question the wisdom of giving an alcoholic drugs to calm her down. Shouldn't that doctor have known better, having treated her in the hospital just days before? Or if he didn't treat her, shouldn't he at least have checked her charts? He absolutely knows she just recently had a premature baby.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, it's been about a week or so. There are certain tranquilizers which are safe for alcoholics to use because they aren't "downers".

- The mystery of the driveway solved: the long driveway we see from the SF gate is the road from the public road in front of SF to the house. To actually get to the driveway to the house, you have to turn right off this road. That's a much shorter distance.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It still doesn't seem quite right to me. Because I'm sure quite a few times we see people start their cars, drive a very tiny distance and end up on the road.

- What's up with those life-sized dog statues in the Ewing living room? In 13 seasons of Dallas nobody in that family showed the slightest interest in dogs. They never even bought one for the kids.

- How is Pam so firmly convinced that Cliff is telling the truth about not taking John Ross? All she has is his word that he was in Austin and he's backstabbed and lied to her in the past.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good old trusting Pam. Right you are.

AHN Sara's corner:

- I guess Jimmy didn't follow Lucy home after all.

HNP Ahmer Responds: He probably did but didn't feel the need to go to the ranch house itself. That would have meant payday.

- Pam "had appointments" this afternoon...why don't I think that they're work-related?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably because they're not. Good point.

- Bad dubbing when JR took Sue Ellen into the house

- Lucy had a "cheerleading seminar?"  I thought they were called practices...

HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe it's one of those theory sessions. You know: "Pom-poms vs. tassels...the ongoing debate."

- Pam's "never seen Bobby this angry!"  Gosh, I've seen him this angry in just about every episode.

- I find it hard to believe that someone so obsessed with having a baby that she kidnapped one would be sitting around reading a magazine instead of doting on it.  She must have read the Sue Ellen book of parenting.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Now THAT is an outstanding point. Unless perhaps the baby was sleeping...but even still, you're right. Priscilla should be watching it like a hawk.

- And Priscilla didn't even cut the hospital bracelet that says John Ross's name on it off the baby!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Convenient. I'm not positive what to make of that.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Empty Purse Meter: 1, Pam carried it the entire episode with her red dress.

- When Ellie is standing over the crib early in the episode, the bumpers in the crib are solid green with tiny white polka dots.  Later, when Sue Ellen entered the nursery, the bumpers mysteriously changed to a plaid pattern.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe there's more than one set of bumpers. These ARE the Ewings.

- The Dallas press must have very little else to talk about in the news.  John Ross's kidnapping seems to be the TOP story.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Seems to be the only story. I can see it now: "Jack? It's Bill. Look, we've got to delay this huge merger that will affect the global economy for years to come...the Ewing baby has been kidnapped!"

- I don't understand why Pam didn't take her own car when she Bobby and Cliff went to the hospital. Eventually she'll have to drive back to Cliff's to pick it up.

HNP Ahmer Responds: We didn't actually SEE her drive over there...that's a tough call.

- The establishing shot of the outside of Cliff's apartment building is definitely that of Julie Grey's from last season.

- Cliff said he was glad to see Pam and didn't care how she got in he was glad to see her.   I'd be pretty pissed off it I knew that my apartment manager could be bought off. You never know WHO he'll let in for the right price.  I'd get this guy FIRED, I'm assuming he doesn't own the building.  If so, I demand to break my lease!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Under the circumstances, I suppose he'd let it slide. It was either that or he gets his face smushed by Bobby.

Episode 32: The Silent Killer

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Sara]

> Cliff: "There was a girl between Pam and I. She died right before she was a year old." 
> Then later: "He could die within six months like my brother and sister?"

Not only was there incorrect grammar with the "between Pam and I" but Cliff was also unable to figure out how many months are in a year.

Pam Award:

Because Pam is determined to be so annoying, she's precluded from winning this award by default. Kristin and her red dress win today. [But that brown dress was tough to ignore...]

Angelica Award:

Jock's powder blue suit resurfaces. Sue Ellen's modified cowboy hat at the airport was bad too.

Bobby Award:

Mrs. Reeves again, for lack of a better.

April Award:

JR for leaving his bedroom door open while arguing with Sue Ellen. Pam telling Cliff where Sue Ellen was having lunch deserves mention.

- Nice plastic surgery jobs for Kristin and Digger. I'm really glad Kristin got the tooth gap filled.

- Jock talks about Kristin going into Engineering...wait a minute, wasn't it architecture she was interested in?

- Today Digger refers to the building in which Ewing Oil is presumably housed as "The Ewing Building". Just yesterday it was the First International Building. Was Jock so happy to have his grandson back that he decided to buy the place?

- Digger calls his son "Clifford". That's rare. As a side note, at least there's an explanation of how and why Cliff got a new apartment.

- When Pam's on the phone with Cliff, she's blatantly dubbed. Val points out that this is probably because she left John Ross in the car while calling him. Another page from the Sue Ellen school of parenting.

- Pam and Sue Ellen both carried empty purses today.

- When Cliff and Digger are about to help themselves to some pork fried rice, it's clear that some of their conversation was cut.

- Where is Mrs. Reeves at the end of this episode when John Ross is crying?

AHN Alett's corner:

- Cliff should have said, "Gee, Dad, you're so much taller and hairier than the last time I saw you."

- Is Sue Ellen and JR's bedroom really right off the staircase?  In later episodes, it's way down the hall, so could Kristin really hear them from the bottom of the stairs?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, they ARE practically yelling. What amazes me is that Mrs. Reeves doesn't hear them.

- It bugs me how many times Pam beats around the bush when she has something important to tell Bobby.  Inevitably he becomes frustrated, so she's always accusing him of being insensitive.  Come on.  She creates the situation every time.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Absolutely, 100%, undeniably, unqualifiably, without a shadow of a doubt, indubitably correct. Did I mention you were right?

- Also in Bobby and Pam's little fight, Bobby is wearing as much under-eye liner as she is.

- So now TNN is even editing out opening scenes the give the writer and director's names.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, I noticed that too! When I rewound my tape,  I wasn't sure where to stop.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Someone mentioned that Cliff was in THE apartment.  I am not sure what this means but this is NOT the one he had until the end of the show. The kitchen is in a totally different part of the building.

HNP Ahmer Responds: No, it's not the one he had at the end of the series, but it's the one he's in until he finds his momma and becomes successful.

- How old is John Ross?  I thought he was 2 months premature. If so, would it be normal to bring him home?  I would have thought he would need to be in an incubator or something.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Not all premature babies need incubators, and the length of time varies. The deciding factor is when the baby is capable of breathing sufficiently on its own.

- The doctor tells Pam and Cliff that the neurological disease is an "inherited genetic" disorder.  Is that being redundant?  (Not my specialty.)

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's a good question. Depends on how you look at really...I would say that in the strictest sense, this is actually NOT totally redundant. A genetic disease is definitely inherited, but an inherited disease is not necessarily genetic. A fetus can inherit HIV or malaria from its mother - that's not genetic.

- This is a hard one to nit per se. Cliff and Pam reveal that they had a brother and sister.  They reveal the brother's name was Tyler.  I am sure that Newman had on his site that the sister's name was Catherine. (Not Wentworth).  Do you know when they reveal this?

HNP Ahmer Responds: As far as I remember, the sister's name is never revealed [or I would have made it a trivia question]. In fact, neither dead sibling is mentioned again.

- Both Lucy and Kristin talk about college like it is their first year, but isn't Kristin like 21 now?  She was 23 in 1981.  She is about 2 years older than Lucy.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Kristin may have taken some time off to go to a finishing school or something like that.

AHN Sara's corner:

- Pam says that her job is just as as important to her now as it was before. My question is, when was that job ever important to Pam?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, the job is important to her when she's not doing it. When she's at home, for instance, or talking to Bobby, it's very important. When she's DOING it or is supposed to be doing it, that's a different story.

- Pam did not support the baby's head when she picked it up in the beginning of the episode.  Someone must have said something to her about though because she held it correctly at the end.

- Kristin said "gay" today.  I guess that somewhere between season 1 and season 2 that term became acceptable.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess so. Interesting.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Talk about irony: for the first time in his life, Digger is falling down SOBER!

- Mixed metaphor award: Cliff to Digger - "I've got Ewing Oil in a box and I'm squeezing hard." I guess that would mean it's a squeezebox.

- Not only is this Teresa at breakfast an imposter, but she is clearly not the curvy woman with the waist-length hair we saw from behind yesterday. Raoul must be running female wetbacks across the border one per day, calling them all "Teresa" and keeping them as concubines in the servants quarters at SF.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That's my theory. Wait till the INS hears about this!

- Part of Alan Beam's burger dressing falls in his lap as JR approaches him.

- Cliff seems to be back to dying his hair and has it swept straight back for most of the show, which makes him look older.

AHN Pam's corner:

- It was mentioned that Sue Ellen and Pam both carried empty purses in this episode.   It was not mentioned that at one point Pam and Sue Ellen carried the SAME empty purse.  Sue Ellen carried the bone colored purse with her peach dress when she went to The Gardens.  Then Pam carried the SAME bone colored purse with her brown sun dress.

- Ellie was really lacking in the hospitality skills today.  Patricia and Kristin were staying at a hotel? Why not at Southfork?  We know from Kristin's and Guzzler's visits last season that SF has at least two extra bedrooms.  So this made no sense.   This would be unheard of in the later seasons when EVERYONE stayed at Southfork, no questions asked.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm trying to remember whether a good reason for this develops...none comes to mind. I'm also trying to think of a real world explanation, and coming up blank.

- Patricia was also extremely rude.  The Ewings had tickets to the theater and she was supposed to attend and she chose to go out on a 'date' with some old friend?   Maybe they have a box and don't have to pay for their tickets, but nevertheless, she should've scheduled her 'date' for the following evening.  I guess they didn't want to pay the actress for more than two scenes.

HNP Ahmer Responds: And we are ALL glad.

- WOW!  Those Ewings sure know how to make a statement, arriving at the theater in a STATION WAGON! Don't they OWN a limo?  If not, certainly they could afford to RENT one if they all wanted to ride together so badly. Except for J.R., Sue Ellen and Kristin that is, they read the script and took J.R.'s Mercedes. Convenient, don't you think?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I wondered about this too...why would they have taken the wagon? But then I realized that certainly all five people couldn't fit in Bobby's car, or in Pam's car. But come to think of it, where's Jock's Lincoln? That's a sweet car to cruise around in.

- Sue Ellen did it again.  She walked out of the bathroom with a towel around her and pulled a nightgown out of the drawer to get ready to go to bed, but she still had her panty hose on!  I'm sure they'd feel great to sleep in, not to mention if she'd taken a shower.

- In episode 28 J.R. told Sue Ellen that he had checked their bedroom thoroughly and had ALL of the alcohol removed.  I guess whoever removed it wasn't very thorough after all.  Sue Ellen took one from a shoe box in the closet immediately following that speech and then today she found one in her lingerie drawer.  Maybe next time J.R. needs to enlist the assistance of super-sleuth Bobby or super-sleuth Ellie do his detective work.

- Here's a great little nit.  When J.R., Sue Ellen and Kristin arrived back at Southfork before the rest of the family, the corner of the back end of a station wagon was visible next to the Mercedes. Sue Ellen's car I assume.  Then, two scenes later, the family arrived home in the SAME station wagon!  There was no SF on the door, so again I would assume it's Sue Ellen's so why was it parked at home if the family wasn't home yet? Also, there was no other station wagon parked in the driveway. Then, Bobby parked the wagon in the same spot as J.R. parked the Mercedes. That's OK, J.R. and Kristin took his car for a 'drive'.  BUT, Bobby's red Mercedes was parked in the same spot as the station wagon was when J.R., Sue Ellen and Kristin came home!  The latter was shot using the reverse angle, but it's EXACTLY the same area of the driveway and parking spaces. I watched these two scenes SEVERAL times to make sure.  It was BIZARRE!

- Digger was wearing a wedding ring.  It was very noticeable when he was lying in bed in Cliff's apartment.

- Real World Reference:  Lucy mentioned she would've preferred and Elton John concert over her evening at the theater.

Episode 33: Secrets

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

> Pam:  "If I don't display any of the symptoms, how can I pass the disease on to my child?"
She should get a dictionary and look up the term GENETICS!

Pam Award:

Pam by default. Dang...I really didn't want it to happen this way. I almost felt like nominating Val, who looked decent in that white dress.

Angelica Award:

Bobby's plaid sports coat with the suede elbow patches. Nominated by Pam.

Bobby Award:

Mrs. Reeves again, for lack of a better. Lucy's braids were unflattering.

April Award:

My vote would have to go to Bobby for being way too patient with his wife.

- Not a nit, just a thought that I needed to get out: Pam asks Dr. Holliston whether he'd "like" to give her an examination. Who wouldn't like to examine Pam?

- Lucy gets a really nice parking spot at SMU. So does Val, but at least she stayed with her car.

- Everybody pointed out that Lucy had found out from her mother that she didn't take JR's money in Episode 7, so it doesn't make sense for her to accuse Val of this. We could chalk this up to the producers rewriting history in order to avoid a short show - but I think I have a better explanation. I think Lucy's just laying a guilt trip on her mother. I do it all the time. Now that she sees Valene face to face, all of the hurt and suffering she feels is coming to the surface. The main issue is the fact that Val left her without any explanation or even a goodbye; in order to make Val feel sorry about doing that, Lucy's adding to her list of imagined crimes. It's an outstanding tactic to use when someone really has done you wrong - I know from experience with my parents this past weekend.

- When Lucy opened her trunk, she made a motion like she's turning a key in the lock but her hands appear to be totally empty and she finds the keyhole in a split second. That's some lock!

- When Valene calls Ewing Oil, Louella tells Bobby that she's on Line 3....why? Who's on Line 1 or Line 2?

- Here's a good one. Valene has a picture of Lucy on the table next to her hotel bed. That's fine...but WHERE DID SHE GET IT? Did Lucy mail it to her during their correspondence? That's kind of an odd thing to do.

- Louella is wearing the same ugly purple dress she wore in Episode 30.

- Pam drove around all day instead of going to work. Career's important...yup. Sure. By the way, I'm saving my monstrous rant about Pam's horrendous mistreatment of her husband for the "I think" this week.

- I was seriously debating whether or not to call this a nit, but Todd Saveland pointed it out too and I thought I should mention it. It is awfully convenient for the writers to have JR appear at Lucy's cheerleading practice so he can see Valene in Bobby's car and learn that she is in Dallas, Todd points out. I agree. But it's not egregiously convenient, like the slip-up in Episode 28 where Ray pretends he doesn't have a phone. That was ridiculous.
Here we have a situation where it seems very contrived; after all, JR doesn't really care much for Lucy unless Jock and Ellie are around, so it's unlikely he would take the time and watch one of her cheerleading practices. Todd pointed out that he definitely has an eye for pretty girls, which does make sense, I guess. I think we should give the writers the benefit of the doubt here and say that JR might have been meeting with a school official or something like that.

- When Lucy and Val reconcile, she apologizes for all the things she said "that" morning. Zuh? Wouldn't that be YESTERDAY morning? This morning you had a cheerleading practice, Lucy dear.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Jock makes a comment about the stores not being open until 10 AM at the beginning of the episode.  Was this normal for 1979?  I assume it was a weekday since Lucy was at college.

- Pam and Lucy carry empty purses.

- During Lucy's first fight with Valene, they suddenly seem to get physically very close to each other.  I guess this is so Lucy can slap her hand away and run off.

- Just a note.  There is a dog seen at Southfork when Lucy and Bobby talk near the end of the episode.  Looks like a pet rather than some sort of sheep herding dog.

HNP Ahmer Responds: That was really odd. Since when are there pets at Southfork? Julie noticed this too.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Val watched Pam pull out of the driveway under a clear blue sky.  Then she watched Lucy pull out of the driveway and the sky was completely overcast.  Either Val waited an awfully long time for Lucy to leave or there were some very strange weather patterns in Texas.

- Lucy looked like she almost tripped on the curb when she ran away from Val.  I think it would've been great to see her fall flat on her face.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I bet she did once and then they re-did the take.

- Here's some rarities. When J.R. met with Jock and Alan in his office he was eating a sandwich on regular bread, not a kaiser roll or anything, but on regular white bread.   Also, J.R. had coffee in his coffee cup. Finally, Pam had a pocket phone book in her purse.

- Bobby said that the only people he could ever talk to were Ellie and Gary.  Didn't he say something similar to this to Guzzler?  Only Guzzler was the only person he could talk to AFTER Gary left!

HNP Ahmer Responds: Guzzler who? [Just kidding. Clearly we're supposed to forget the first season ever happened.]

- At the end of Ellie and Bobby's talk Ellie told him to 'scoot', that was just strange.   Then she told him she had 'things' to do.  Like what?  Go shopping for a new sack dress?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Oh, let's see...gardening, playing the piano, bossing Teresa around. And then AFTER lunch...

- Louella sure doesn't have much to do and apparently her bosses aren't too concerned about it. She had travel brochures, magazines etc. spread across her desk during business hours planning her wedding and honeymoon.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Otherwise she'd die of boredom. What DOES a Ewing Oil secretary do at this point? Especially one as frumpy as Louella?

- Bobby used some incorrect grammar during his discussion with Ellie.  He said "That don't make it any easier."

- Bobby mentioned that it was 6:00 when Lucy was trying to sneak out of the house early in the morning.  The sun was much too high for 6:00 in the morning, even during the summer. It looked like it was at least 9:00, maybe even 10:00 in the morning.

AHN Alett's corner:

- That "Jaws" music playing while Valene is parked outside Southfork is rather weird.  It makes her seem like a stalker.

- Alan Beam is just chewing on that goofy pipe.  He might as well start wearing bow ties.

AHN Analise's corner:

- Was Val wearing the same pink uniform in the last scene as she did when she worked all the way in Fort Worth?  Clearly she does not work in the same place, because she would need more than 30 minutes to get to Fort Worth from Dallas. Remember, Lucy arrived at 3:30pm.

HNP Ahmer Responds: No, she said she was working in Dallas but Jason believes it's the same uniform.

- Look how Lucy dresses for college.  Awfully dressy for a freshman (dress, high heels).  When I was in college, if I could throw on a pair of jeans or find a miniskirt, I was lucky.  I never wore high heels to class!

HNP Ahmer Responds: You're not a Ewing.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Not only does Lucy find a convenient spot at SMU, she parks alongside a yellow curb - clearly either reserved for Ewings or illegal to park at all.

- Don't know if anyone's pointed this out before, but JR and Bobby have the same picture in their respective offices - an oil rig in either a golden sunrise or sunset.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps that's the Nacogdoches field...or maybe it's the Ewing Oil logo or something.

Episode 34: The Kristin Affair

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]


Pam Award:

Kristin is DA NEW BOMB, except for the outfit with the gaudy floral blouse and red slacks. Pam's bouncy red dress that looked like it was going to burst would ordinarily win but I can't stand her right now.

Angelica Award:

JR's 3 piece brown suits.

Bobby Award:

Patricia Shepard. Not necessarily for bad hair, but I have the need to say something bad about her.

April Award:

Nothing horrendous.

- The real Theresa has definitely arrived, horrible hairdo and all. It's a good thing too, because she's just in time to whip out that extension to the dinner table so that it now seats nine.

- Kristin's decided to go to architectural school after all, after considering engineering two episodes ago.

- Bobby says that Dr. Crane called Pam. Dr. Crane? Does he mean Sue Ellen's doctor from last season, the one who delivered John Ross? Why would she call? Pam has been seeing Dr. Holliston, and once she went to that pediatrician in Fort Worth with John Ross. Dr. Crane? HUH?

- When Kristin takes up residence as JR's secretary at the office, shouldn't she say something to Connie? Like, "Hi, Connie. I'm Kristin"? It's very awkward how JR walks in with Kristin as Bobby is chatting with Connie, and then Bobby talks to Kristin and JR talks to Connie...but the two secretaries don't share any female banter. At least introduce yourselves.

- Several people on the newsgroup debated about Pam's situation. So as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen what happens this season, let me just say this for now: Digger has information that would make Pam's decision much easier: it is almost impossible that her child would be afflicted by neurofibromatosis. The newsgroup debate revolved around this fact: shouldn't Digger tell her, seeing all the anguish Pam is going through?

I don't think so, for several reasons, the most important of which is that this information is not something Digger would like to reveal unless he absolutely had to. But I think the REAL reason is that the writers didn't even know at this point how they wanted this storyline to play out. [It gets a lot better!]

- I'm hoping we can hold off excessive debate about this until I get word one way or the other from our legal advisor, but I would really like to point out that I think Vaughn Leland is absolutely incorrect that JR should be able to mortgage Southfork. Vaughn's reasoning is that JR is the President of Ewing Enterprises, and Southfork is technically and legally an asset of Ewing Enterprises. The only way I can make sense of this is that for tax purposes or whatever, Jock Ewing created a company called Ewing Enterprises, which is comprised of Southfork, Ewing Oil, and maybe some other minor companies.
I wouldn't have a problem with this except that it creates a major inconsistency with past and future events. Last season, when Garrison Southworth returned to the ranch, Ellie wanted to give him back his birthright. The implication at the time was that Jock and Ellie could have made this decision jointly, because they own the ranch. But wait...doesn't Ewing Enterprises own the ranch? And if so, would Ellie have any power whatsoever to make this decision if Jock opposed it? I think not. Also, think about the future, when Jock's will is read. Jock leaves all rights to Southfork to Ellie. No mention is made of Ewing Enterprises or any such thing.
I'm not saying that what's happening here is impossible. I'm just saying that it seems rather convoluted especially in light of the fact that Ewing Enterprises is not mentioned before or after this season.

- While talking to Alan Beam, JR is looking at [rather recent] snapshots of the ranch house. Is he really that sentimental about the place? I find that very hard to believe.

- When JR calls the ranch, Sue Ellen answers the phone by saying "Yes?" A head-shaker.

From Kent Westmoreland:

The car that Bobby gave Lucy on her birthday was a Fiat X-19 (Italian). The car she drives is subsequent episodes is a Triumph TR-7 (British). They're both silver-gray, though.

AHN Jason's corner:

- So are Kristin and Patty-cakes from Santa Fe?  I thought they were from California?

HNP Ahmer Responds: There was some talk of Albuquerque at one point. When they first came to Dallas last season, Sue Ellen mentioned they had been living in Florida. I suspect that Patricia is on the run from state officials for criminal homeliness and general irritation of the populus.

- After Kristin gets out of the pool and Sue Ellen comes out, she then jumps back in with perfectly dry hair.  Dry hair?  In only a minute - must be powerful Texas sun.

- Sue Ellen makes a comment that Jock has a pit bull for a pet. So where is he? I guess Ray must be walking him.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess so. That's some long walk! It's been five episodes...

- Here's a thought on why Bobby got a call from Dr. Crane.  It could be that Pam wanted another opinion on the disease so she called her, since she knew her from Sue Ellen's pregnancy.  Maybe TNN cut out the scene where Pam visited or talked about visiting her.

HNP Ahmer Responds: But did Pam ever meet Dr. Crane? Maybe briefly in the hospital.

- Digger is Maggie's brother, right?   So shouldn't she and her offspring have this disease too?  It might be nice if they mention this to them, as it could affect Jimmy's offspring too.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah yes...aunt Maggie. Well, let's see. Do we see her again...yes! Yes we do! Later this season. That's really odd. Now, are we POSITIVE that Maggie is a blood sister to Digger? Do we have direct evidence of this? I don't remember for sure.

AHN Analise's corner:

- Patricia called her daughter Kris.  I think this is the only time we ever hear Kristen referred to as this.

- Did Pam forget that Cliff's ex girlfriend died of an abortion?  Yes it was illegal, but how in the world can she expect him to support that idea?  Do the writers expect us to forget season 1?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Not in this case. But I expect that Pam does. You know how it is: it's DIFFERENT when it happens to Pam. She's being a total bitch right now and frankly I'm beginning to wonder how I EVER felt sorry for Pam for anything that ever happened to her. What she's doing to her husband is unconscionable.

- When Bobby led Pam to his car to celebrate their great news of expecting a child, you could see how hot it really was at Southfork that day.  Pam had a giant sweat stain on her back which clearly ruined that brown blouse she was wearing.

HNP Ahmer Responds: See what I mean? I didn't notice this. That's how disgusted I am at her.

- When JR coughed after hearing that Pam was pregnant, it seemed like he was reacting as though HE were the father.  I had to laugh.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not too sure why JR is so concerned about're right. My guess is that he's afraid that because of her weirdness Sue Ellen might spill the beans about John Ross, and so JR's "son" would lose his birthright, and JR would lose a lot of pride.

- When Kristin threw out the writing pads and Louella's name plate, there were things already in the trash basket. The baskets should have been empty unless the cleaning crew works only once per week.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Outstanding. Can't believe I missed that.

- How did Kristin know that the evening dresses in the closet were in different sizes?   She barely looked at them.

- Pam mentioned her little brother and sister who died of neurofibromatosis.  I thought Pam was the youngest out of all of them.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I noticed that too. I guess she meant "little" as in young or small, rather than "younger than her".

- Real world mention: The Veggie Burger!  I guess they were pretty gross back then.   They are good now!

AHN Mike's corner:

- JR's cowboy hat with the ugly feather band was back.

- I nominate Patricia Shepard for the most obnoxious character on Dallas. I'd like to lay the smack down on her ass.

HNP Ahmer Responds: You are not the only one. She deserves to have the smackdown laid by the millions [and millions] of Dallas fans all across the globe.

- My wife points out that the establishing shot of the building Pam's doctor is in was used again for Vaughn Leland's building.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Tell her thank you.

- The JFK Museum got quite the free promo in that street conversation between Cliff and Pam.

- Talk about people who should mind their own business! Imagine little Miss Baby Fat, Lucy, advising Sue Ellen on how to lose a few pounds. She deserved that verbal smackdown from Sue Ellen.

- Did Jock borrow the adoption lady's glasses for that breakfast scene?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Were they that big? I didn't notice.

- Bobby needs a Texas geography lesson. In talking to JR about Austin he says that maybe instead of being in Austin, he should be "down here" (Dallas). My map shows Austin to be a couple a hundred miles direct due south of Dallas, clearly making Dallas "up here".

HNP Ahmer Responds: I missed that too. Perhaps he was taking about the Ewing Oil office in relation to Southfork, but this is weird.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Sue Ellen must have gotten a deal on her one piece swimsuit.  The red one she wore today is EXACTLY the same as the purple suit she wore a few episodes ago.

- Last season it was mentioned that Kristin and Patricia came in to town from Santa Fe.   This season, didn't they mention that they had been in California? Now Kristin is supposedly going back to Santa Fe?  So where exactly do they live?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Not in one place very long, thanks to that sourpuss Patricia.

- Pam's no better than Sue Ellen, she had wine with dinner and she's pregnant.  She's the only one in the family who knows and granted, refusing wine with dinner would've made everyone at the table suspicious, but she should've found a reason to skip it anyway.

- When Bobby pulled in the driveway, right before finding out Pam was pregnant, we saw a wide shot of the driveway.  Jock's car and J.R.'s cars were both parked. Pam was home but her car was nowhere to be found.  Then when she and Bobby got in the car, her car was parked directly behind Jock's car!  Lucy's was next to it, behind the tree, so this would've been difficult to see during the wide shot, but Pam's should have been noticeable.

- Pam carried two empty purses during this episode. A black one during her walk with Cliff and a tan one when she left for work in the sundress.  Connie also carried an empty tan purse in from lunch.  If I'm not mistaken, it's the SAME tan purse that Sue Ellen and Pam both carried a couple of episodes ago.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure you're not mistaken.

- Kristin went to work without a purse at all.  She left Southfork without one, showed up at the office without one and showed up at the condo without one. It's not like she needed any money, J.R. would undoubtedly take care of everything, but she should still carry it for ID if nothing else.

- J.R. told Kristin that her apartment was ready, all cleaned up and waiting.  Well, somebody missed a spot. When J.R. was helping Kristin with her blouse, I noticed several fingerprints and or streaks at the top of the mirror near the light.  Maybe they should send over the dusting maid from a few episodes ago, at least she looked like she was working.

- Pam and Bobby were dressing in their bedroom before they went down to breakfast to tell the family their news.  Their bed was made.  Does Pam feel the need to go back to her roots and make the bed or do they allow Theresa in to make it while they're showering?

- If I were J.R., I'd be suspicious as to why Kristin was standing and seemed to be waiting BEHIND my desk to drop off some papers for my signature.  She could have easily done this from in FRONT of the desk. Of course, right now he's so HOT for her I suppose he just doesn't care.  BTW, I guess security is lax even when purchasing locks, Kristin got in to his drawer very easily.

HNP Ahmer Responds: She could have said she was just looking outside the window. I see your point.

Episode 35: The Dove Hunt

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

[After crying is heard upstairs] > Pam: "That's Baby John."

Pam Award:

Pam in that very curvy white dress. Sweeeeet.

Angelica Award:

Sue Ellen's white frilly robe.

Bobby Award:

Bobby by default.

April Award:

The rube who left his keys in his truck so Batman and Robin could steal it.

- Wouldn't the Ewings have brought along SOME of the supplies they needed? Like coffee, and vegetable juice, which they ask for at the general store? Are raw materials for these beverages more expensive in Dallas than in Louisiana?

- After Jock is first hit in the bar brawl, there's a really bad cut before he gets in his lick.

- Why is it that after Jock starts yelling at Tom's son, who at that moment was sabotaging the truck, no one woke up? It took the gunfire before that happened.

- JR calls Jock "Dad", and he refers to Ellie as "mother".

- The guy who's accosted by Ray and Bobby tells them that the parish has only one doctor, who's away at the moment. I find it hard to believe that a community with a rather large store called a "snap shop" wouldn't have a resident doctor.

- At the end of the episode, when the boys return to the ranch, Kristin seems to take a very choreographed set of steps to her standing position, kind of like the way the ladies did when JR and Bobby returned at the end of "Survival". It's almost as though she's looking for a marker on the ground or something.

From Tina Niblett:

Why are there shadows of the trees on the ground in the woods in  the middle of the night?  I thought that the shadows came from the sun. Also, I noticed that the lake seems to be awfully bright for a night scene, and the shot of the clearing to the side of the Ewing campsite is clearly lit by the sun.  What gives here?  Did they think we wouldn't know that they had used a filter to make it look like night?  And if we could hear all of those bird and bug noises in the woods, it would seem to me that we could hear the sound of those waves breaking on the shore.  That lake looked like it had whitecaps!

HNP Ahmer Responds: I get the feeling that the producers want us to think it's early morning, rather than night.

AHN Joe O submitted:

At one point Jock is covered by a net by Bobby before Ray and he head off into town for help but when we cut to JR talking to Jock  in the next scene the net is gone.

AHN Jason's corner:

- This could be a nit..  It looks like to me that Bobby and possible Ray jump out of their sleeping bags and start to shoot without ever putting on their boots!!  Did they sleep with them on?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good question.

- There seems to be a sharp cut at the dinner scene.  Bobby talks to JR about Alan Beam then Jock and Ellie exchange dialogue.  Not sure if this is a TNN or CBS cut.

- Jock and crew talk about the fun times they had in Landowne but what about Haileyville?   Shouldn't they have used this same town or at least the name when they had the 11th season plot with Cally and her brothers?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point.

AHN Alett's corner:

- How sweet. Jock is now "Uncle Jock" to Kristin.  I have brothers-in-law, but I've never called any of their fathers "Uncle".

HNP Ahmer Responds: Are they as rich as Jock? Somehow, I think Jock's money endears Kristin to him.

- JR wonders why they have to bring Ray along.  How about he's the only one who can pilot the helicopter.  Complaining that he's being treated too much like family is nice foreshadowing for later though.

- We continue to get the obligatory Sue Ellen still doesn't care for her baby stuff, so why isn't Pam's inner turmoil suggested.  All we know is that she isn't at dinner.   She seems much too perky through the whole episode.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I have the reason for this. I'm almost certain that this episode was shot out of sequence. If it weren't for this one scene, it would be totally out of sync with the rest of what's going on.

- It seems unlikely no one would hear Bobby and Ray pull up in the truck.

AHN Pam's corner:

- I'm not a doctor, so I could be wrong about this. Jock sustained a gun shot wound.   Bobby and Ray moved him to the cot.  Is this safe, or should they have left him where he was?  They're not trained professionals.

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not 100% sure about this either but I'm fairly certain that the only time it's dangerous to move someone is when they may have sustained neurological damage. In Jock's case, he's just bleeding heavily. So the first thing to do is to contain the bleeding and then make him comfortable.

- I don't hunt either, so I have to ask.  Is it really a smart idea to wear jewellery?  Bobby and Jock both had on bracelets.

- Owens mentioned that 'the younger ones were gone' when he and his sons were planning their next attack. Bobby looks young, so this I understand.  But Ray? Come on, he looks about as old as J.R.  How can he possibly tell that Ray is 'younger'?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Outstanding point. He's never seen them before, so there's no way he could know.

- Ray said that Jock got him up at the crack of dawn while they were loading the helicopter. It must have taken them a long time to pack.  It's much too light to be the crack of dawn.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe they had a long breakfast.

- I wish the writers would do something about Bobby's grammar. While mentioning that Ray should pick up a shovel, Bobby said "that one out there don't look so good".   Then later, Ray said that he and Bobby should get back to Jock and J.R.  Bobby turned around and said "Jock and J.R. ain't going no place".  I swear, lately Ray sounds more educated than Bobby.

HNP Ahmer Responds: It's going back to the down home roots, I guess. My suspicion: this episode was shot last season, and the Southfork scenes were added later.

- There was some horrible dubbing while the men were riding in the truck.  They sounded like they were in an echo chamber.  BTW, where would one rent a truck in a town like that?  I seriously doubt there's a Hertz anywhere near there.

- Again, I'm no hunter, but isn't best to hunt in the very early morning?  When the men were sleeping, it looked as though the sun were already up. Shouldn't they be out hunting already, or do they hunt on Ewing hours?

HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not a hunter either so I have no idea.

AHN Sara's corner:

- Why did Ray feel compelled to tell the grocery store guy everything he wanted and then give him the list? Wouldn't it be easier for to just give him the list in the first place?

HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I suppose it would. But that wouldn't be Ray.

- Really fake backdrop at the Ewing camp.

- Everybody slept in their clothes, which is uncomfortable yet convenient.

HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe they didn't bring pajamas or something. It is kind of disgusting, though.

AHN Analise's corner:

- Nice breakable glass JR used to hit that guy.  It practically disintegrates.   Why doesn't that guy have any cuts from that glass?  Doesn't broken glass, even in Texas, has sharp edges.  When we see them later on in the episode, it looks like nothing happened.

- For someone who is supposed to be a natural out of doors, what was Jock thinking when he threw the cigar to the ground?

AHN Mike's corner:

- "Uncle Jock" and Kristen are even close than another AHN indicated. When he arrives at Ewing Oil, Jock's suit and Kristen's sash and skirt are a perfect complementary color match. Also, when Jock returns to SF for dinner, he's wearing a different suit.

- And speaking of dinner, did Jock really think that if something was bothering Miss Ellie that she was hiding from him that she was gonna blurt it out in front of the family at dinner just because he asked?

HNP Ahmer Responds: He expects everyone else to spill their guts if asked. HE certainly has no problem speaking his mind.

- Jock took a couple of big punches and came back swinging, a remarkable feat for someone who had a major heart attack and was on restricted activity. I guess Jim Davis just loved the idea of being in a bar brawl. I'm pretty sure he did most of his own stunts when he played the heavy in countless westerns in the 40', 50's and 60's. He was one of my favorite bad guys when I was growing up and it seemed like he was in every western movie or TV show ever made.

HNP Ahmer Responds: He's DA MAN. No question.

- How dumb is Bobby? He just gets fired at and nearly hit. And after ducking into the brush, he gets up and gives the guy a chance at a clear shot.

- Once again we see why Bobby needs anger management counseling. He threatens Owens and his boys saying "We'll blow you away." Later he correctly proclaims "There's no law in Landowne" after having unequivocably proved it by participating in a bar room brawl, assaulting the guy with the broom with no reason and without provocation and then boosting a truck with his juvenile delinquent half-breed brother.

Episode 36: The Lost Child

Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Analise]

> Jock declares his love for Ellie.  What does she say?  "I haven't always liked you, but I've always loved you."  How lame!

Pam Award:

Tough choice today, but I'll go with Lucy in her bouncy blue dress at the end.

Angelica Award:

Bobby's "I found this in my wife's closet" straw cowboy hat. Cliff for wearing a brown tie with a grey suit.

Bobby Award:

Dr. Elby. For now, forever.

April Award:

Pam for practicing steeplechase while pregnant.


- Oh, boy. I hate having to do this, because I always feel like I'm spoiling everybody's fun and people think I'm taking this stuff too seriously. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news but THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS BASED ON A BOGUS PREMISE.
I happen to be fascinated by reptiles. Probably because they eat rodents, which are the vilest form of life on this planet. As such, I happen to know that rattlesnakes, as cold-blooded creatures, are NOT driven out into the open by heat. The opposite is true! A rattler would shrivel up and die if it were out in the hot sun too long because it has no mechanism to disperse excess heat! During the hot summertimes of the American desert, rattlesnakes only come out at night to hunt. There is no way in hell anyone, even someone as unlucky and silly as Pam, would encounter a rattler in the middle of a hot sweltering summer day. During spring or autumn this would be quite possible, but NEVER in summer.

This is without question the cheeziest episode to date. Here are just a few things I would like to point out:

  • Bo Middens and his son Luke. Bo and Luke. Sound familiar? [From the Dukes of Hazzard, if you don't get it.]

  • JR with the cane. He can't even walk like a crippled man. This is pathetic.

  • PATHETIC DUBBING when Pam explains about the neurofibromatosis to Bobby.

  • - Last year, I declared that the meeting with the ranch hands was totally egregious because nothing was accomplished except that Bobby met Luke. Now that I actually brought myself to pay attention to the dialogue, I see that Bobby and Ray are looking for NEW ranch hands and so there's a reason for this interlude. That lifts this scene from superweak to just weak.

    - When JR asks Kristin to find Cal McBride, she responds "The private detective?", in surprise. She's only been working at Ewing Oil for a week or two...she knows some of JR's cronies already? That's one smart girl.

    - McBride tells JR that Sue Ellen had her hair done....zuh? Looks the same to me. Alejandro is robbing that woman blind.

    - The ranch background kind of bothered me. At times it looked like the real Southfork, but occasionally the clouds struck me as paper. Can anyone confirm either way?

    From Julie Soskins:

    One of the things I noticed was weird was that Bobby brought Pam roses to the hospital and they were light colored (pink or white or some combination) but later when Digger and Cliff are visiting her, there is a vase of red roses next to her and Bobby's are not there.  I would find it hard to believe that Cliff would shell out the money for any flowers, much less roses, so did these roses magically change color? Just something I noticed.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And an excellent point at that.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Did JR get a new car?  It looks different from what I saw him in before... could be wrong...

    - I kinda laughed when Bobby and Luke rushed over to Pam and basically sat down in the grass with a rattler right near them.  I was half expecting it to bite them in the ass.

    - Oh my... someone actually goes to BRADDOCK Hospital.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Can you say cost-cutting?

    - Ellie doesn't stop Jock from drinking.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess he's off the regimen. But she's fussing over the wheelchair thing now.

    AHN Analise's corner:

    - How did Ray call for an ambulance?  Cell phones in '79?  Nope.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, that's a good question. Of course, he could have sent some other guy on a horse to go and call for help, which he could sum up in the word "call".

    - Even in 1979, it is illegal to keep a child from going to school even if the parent moves around a lot.  Did the writers think we are stupid?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's possible that it's summertime now [given the heat] and Luke isn't supposed to be in school.

    - Sue Ellen is a fool for not opening up to JR and telling him where she was.   Doesn't she know that he hires private investigators?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's the game they play. Neither one wants to admit anything unless forced to.

    - Pam sleeps with full makeup?  Now as the owner of the Principal Secret skin care line, she should know better!

    - Who is staying in the bunk house with Luke? He is a minor and cannot stay without a legal guardian.  Those other cowboys won't do.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps he's in Ray's bunkhouse. Hard to say.

    - I grew up horseback riding.  There is no way, even when a horse is spooked by a rattle snake, that Pam could be knocked unconscious unless she hit her head on a rock.   I rewound my tape twice.  Guess what?  No rock!  Also, this should be a PSA for wearing riding helmets! 

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, any fall seems to be traumatic for Pam. First it was the two-foot fall in the hayloft, now this.

    - When JR came out of his car and went to the porch to see Sue Ellen, JR got out of the car perfectsly and even tossed his cane from one hand to the other.  What's the point of a cane?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He forgot to walk with a limp. I'm sure Larry Hagman HATES having to walk with a limp and just said "Screw it."

    - Pam must have asked one of the hands to bring multiple shades of lipstick to the hospital.  She wore a reddish color to see Bobby and a beige one when to see her father and brother.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: She must have a lot of room in that little suitcase.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Ah, a classic.   A fixed boom is very obvious to the left side of the breakfast table scene.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I've got to look at this again. I can't believe I keep missing these boom mikes.

    - Hair problems.  At the psychiatrist's office Sue Ellen's hair is flat then full, and Pam's hair is curlier after she gets home from talking with Cliff.

    - It's ironic that Bobby's infatuated with a kid named Luke, and Jenna will later name his child Lucas.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's more ironic that a guy named Bo has a son named Luke.

    - It's rather odd that Bo Middens, a migrant worker, has great teeth, but a future, annoying wealthy British women will be dentally challenged.

    - It's pretty obvious that is a stunt woman and not Victoria. When she falls, she's on her side with her head facing to the left part of the scene. Pam is on her back with her head to the right part of the scene.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought so but was unable to find evidence. Thanks.

    - How does Brad(d)ock expect their children to learn to spell?  The high school has one D,  but the hospital has two.

    - Bobby really loves that blue plaid shirt.  He wears it to the hospital and is wearing the same shirt the next day.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Either Dr. Elby is seven feet tall or he's got really tiny office furniture and a low ceiling.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I suspect the latter.

    - Pam parked directly underneath the Southfork Basketball Hoop, effectively stopping any possible basketball games.  But that's just the kind of thing I would expect her to do, judging by the way she was acting in the first half of the episode.

    - Pam's doctor checked her pulse by placing his hand on her arm, which is just horrible.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He did? How did I miss that? I'll take another look.

    - Since when did Pam call her father "Digger?"  I thought she called him "Dad" or "Daddy" like everyone else.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: She starts to now, but in the past everyone including his children called him "Digger". He called HIMSELF Digger.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Sue Ellen carried two empty purses today.One was the SAME tan that's been carried by SE, Pam and Connie over the past few episodes.  The other was a camel colored purse, with a strap, what a rarity, while talking to Pam and Bobby in the driveway.  Pam also carried an empty camel colored purse in that same scene.

    - J.R. called Jock 'Dad' during their conversation on the patio.

    - Pam and Cliff seem to take an awful lot of walks lately.  Why don't they sit down for lunch?  BTW, Pam did not have a purse during their walk in this episode. There were no pockets in that outfit, where does she keep her keys?

    -  J.R. mentioned how hot the weather was when he was talking to Jock on the patio.   It must have been, he had a Clayton size sweat stain on the back of his shirt!   The funny thing is, after sitting and talking to Jock, J.R. got up to go inside and the stain was gone!  That must have been some cold drink.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Was it gone? I totally missed that. I might have been fooled because all of a sudden he was in the shade.

    - Sue Ellen must have dipped in to the Bobby shirt collection.  In the last scene her shirt was half unbuttoned.

    - When J.R. arrived at SF, the only cars parked in the driveway were his Mercedes and Jock's Lincoln. Lucy may have been out and Bobby was at the hospital, this explains the absence of their cars.  But Sue Ellen was home, where was her car?  Pam was in the hospital, so where was her car?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Did we see the entire driveway? Maybe they're off to the side.

    - This is in reference to Pam's extensive wardrobe at the hospital.  First, she had that really pretty lingerie when Bobby and Cliff and Digger visited. Then when she was leaving, she packed an entire suitcase!  She was there maybe a day or two?  I can't believe she would wear that silk skirt and blouse home from the hospital.  Not to mention, high heels, panty hose, a gold chain and a bracelet!  Who goes home like this?  Why not a pair of jeans?  Also, she was using the same suitcase that J.R. was carrying when he brought Sue Ellen home from the hospital a few episodes ago.  Is this the 'official' Ewing hospital stay suitcase?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I imagine it is the official suitcase...clearly Bobby wanted her to go home feeling stylish.

    - Pam's hair was strange in this episode.  I think the last scene must have been shot before Bobby picked Pam up at the hospital.  Pam's hair looks much shorter in the hospital than it did in the last scene at the ranch.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I think you're quite right.

    - Pam and Bobby were talking in their bedroom and Bobby was sitting on the bed as Pam walked in to the dressing area.  There was a high boy chest in front of Bobby and the phone was on the night stand near the entry of the dressing area.  This is usually the side of the bed we see Pam sleep on.  The next morning when Pam woke up alone on the opposite side of the bed, the phone was next to her.  We were not looking through a mirror here, because when Pam got out of bed there was a door next to the night stand, a closet I would assume.  Also, the triple dresser with the flower arrangement was visible and it was in the correct place.  It's strange that someone would have moved the phone.  It's also rather strange that Pam would sleep on the opposite side of the bed, married people generally don't do this.  

    - Pam's fall was very strange.  When she came around the corner, she was riding towards Bobby and Luke.  When she fell she fell towards a tree, a small shadow was visible when she hit the ground.  The way she fell, the side of her body would've been facing Bobby and Luke.  Yet when Bobby and Luke reach her, her head is facing the direction from where they came, the direction she was riding. Also, her body was perfectly straight, I would think at least a leg or an arm would be bent.  This is impossible considering the way direction she was riding and the way she fell.  She would've had to have flown over the horse's head to possibly land this way.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Bobby and Ray sure love to play dress-up in their chaps. Bobby even sits down at the breakfast table in them with Jock and Ellie.

    - Sue Ellen goes shopping for hours every day and yet she only owns one bathing suit? We've seen her in that same blue one multiple times now.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Actually she had a red one the other day and a purple one before. They're all the same style, though. Guess she got them on sale.

    AHN Val's corner:

    - JR drives up, gets out of his car, and comments to his dad about the heat. He is also covered in sweat--front, back, and under both arms. Jason pointed out that JR appears to have a new car. So my question is this: Can't that boy afford AIR CONDITIONING!!???!?!?!
    Car air conditioning is one thing us desert folk wouldn't do without. When buying a car, you may have to give up a radio, power door locks, or automatic transmission in order to afford it, but you DO spring for air conditioning. I would think JR would be able to buy his cars fully loaded.

    Episode 37: Rodeo

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett and me]

    > When a hand isn't sure where to put the tables, Jock replies: "I'll tell you what.  Put 'em right over there where we put 'em every year."  (said like this good idea just came to him)

    Pam Award:

    I'd say that Sue Ellen looked very striking at the rodeo from the neck up.

    Angelica Award:

    A lot today. Jock's powder blue vest-like shirt which makes him look really fat and un-DA MAN-like. Alan's ridiculous cowboy shirt. Pam and Bobby's outfits that make them look like mismatched twins.

    Bobby Award:

    Alan Beam, I guess, but Lucy's braids should get a mention.

    April Award:

    Bobby for practically taunting Digger in the nursery to blow his stack. If Digger had exploded and said the wrong thing, the Boboski would be really cold at night for a long time.

    - At the beginning of this episode, some workers are putting up that big Ewing Rodeo banner, but when Bobby pulls out of Southfork later, it's gone.

    - After buying all of those things in Braddock, wouldn't Sue Ellen get some bags to carry those boxes around? Of course, it's convenient for her to drop them and run into Dusty, but it looks really stupid.

    - That's some pretty pathetic dubbing over Jock's introductory speech at the rodeo. Worst so far.

    - Just a note: it looks like Jared Martin did his own stunts at the rodeo. But Patrick Duffy did not. Neither did Steve Kanaly.

    - Just another note: at the rodeo, when Ellie first appears to talk to Pam, did anyone else think that she looked kind of like the female Changeling from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? I almost expected Pam to be carted away by Weyoun and a Breen commander!

    - There's a very abrupt cut during Ellie and Digger's talk. Ellie is smiling and then suddenly there's a close-up and she's very serious.

    - Oh, boy, this is a tough one. Several people on the newsgroup have tossed around ideas about Sue Ellen's comment, "I thought the Wayne family owned the Southern Cross ranch." Dusty replies, "My mother's name is Farlow. I'm Dusty Farlow."
    First of all, let's get this much straight. One of the executives in charge of something or other for Dallas is named Wayne A. Farlow - you can see it in the closing credits. This is what the writers had in mind, kind of a tribute to the man.
    The issue seems to be that Dusty claims that the Farlow family has ownership to the Southern Cross because of his mother. But this is kind of nonsensical because his mother Amy married Clayton Farlow. [Yes, yes, I know that Amy's not his *real* mother, but you know what I mean]
    So the Farlows really own the Southern Cross because of Clayton Farlow. It's my belief that the writers hadn't figured Clayton Farlow into the Dallas 'bible' yet - maybe they were throwing around introducing Amy as a character - and that's why they have this cryptic reference.

    Marc suggested

    that Amy's maiden name was Wayne, and then she changed it when she got married. He may be right but Dusty probably should have said something to this effect. The verdict? Well, I say either Marc's right or Sue Ellen just made a mistake.

    Rob Trimble pointed out

    : Kristin appeared to be wearing a large diamond wedding ring in the scene with Alan Beam. Watch for it when JR is consoling her. It was just for a second or so.

    AHN Todd pointed out to me that Ellie calls Digger 'Digger' and continues to do so from now on.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Part of Ellie's lines in the Nursery also are dubbed.

    - Ray gets mail at the same mailbox as the Ewing Family.  Who does he think he is?   Part of the clan?  Also it seems to be maybe noon or so when he gets the mail but usually it arrives at breakfast time  (#2, #225).  It is possible it has been sitting in there all morning but I thought it was worth noting.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's sometimes tough to say with the sun in hot locales like Texas. Since the mail was addressed to "Southfork", this might not be so bad but there really should be another mailbox for "general" mail for the hands, unless they don't mind having the Ewings see who they're receiving mail from.

    - Donna has been writing Ray lots of letters that he never responded to.  So why continue to write?  Why not call or, better yet, visit him in person to convey her feelings?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I have no idea. She probably doesn't want to risk hurting Sam by having him overhear a call or something like that.

    - The banner says "WELCOME -- EWING RODEO". I think a "to the" might fit in there to make that flow.

    - Ray leaves his door unlocked.  Not scared of thieves at the Rodeo?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Guess not.

    - Jackie is in the credits.  Was she at the Rodeo?  I can't see how they would manage to add a "Store" scene in this episode.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I think you're right. She must have been at the Rodeo but was cut.

    - There is a new publicity shot... oops, I mean "family portrait" on the wall in the den.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And now it is the family portrait on the site!

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - First I thought the sign for the rodeo was too small and too far away from the road for anyone to see, but Digger was right.  Braddock IS plastered with them.  OK it's annual, but there's no date or time on any of them.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess people are just supposed to know when to show up.

    - A string of annoyances -  Donna includes her Dallas zip code but not Braddock's.   She has no comma between the cities and the state.   Ray said he read about the reconciliation LAST WEEK, but it looks like there are at least 8 letters in the drawer. She's writing every day?  RAY HAS A PHONE - CALL HIM.  Unless Donna just repeats herself, Lucy had the foresight to pick out the one critical letter and save the day.

    - Ray's stunt double doesn't have gray hair, and not Ray but Bobby should have been riding "Old Digger".

    - That rodeo ring is cement and steel. I don't think even that much hammering could produce such a structure that we haven't  seen before on the ranch.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That's some quick work all right.

    - Let's see if I've got this right. Ray came to the ranch when he was 15. Jock says they've held the rodeo for 14 years.  The announcer says they first saw Ray ride when he was only 15 years old.  Does that mean Ray is only 29?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That's some good detective work...I missed that. Certainly there's no way in hell the producers can make us believe that Ray is 29 because I believe everyone knows he's older than Bobby. The announcer might mean that they saw him in other events back then.

    - Bobby came into the restaurant after Dusty told Sue Ellen he was from Odessa, and I doubt she would mention this fact, but later Bobby tells Jock about Odessa.

    AHN Analise's corner:

    - Is the rodeo opened to the public?  Seems like it with the posters on telephone poles.  Well heck, since there is no security why not?  How will they know how much food to serve?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It was the eighties. They went all out and said, the more the merrier.

    - That picture of Donna and Sam in the paper looks like it was taken in the Ewing living room.  Didn't know the Dallas press was there too?  Donna was wearing the same clothes.

    - Pam just fell off a horse. How can she bend down? It's got to hurt.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know...this whole thing is ridiculous.

    - Seems like those shopping boxes are empty anyway!  I knew they didn't sell anything there. I know they're empty because of the way they fall when Sue Ellen walks into the store.  They practically bounce as they fall to the ground.  And nothing came out of them when they fell probably because they were taped shut.

    - The 14th annual Ewing rodeo?  When was the 13th?  We certainly didn't see it.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And we won't see the 15th until Pam dreams about it.

    - Bobby is one of the best cowboys in the country?  The announcer I guess has to say it--his Daddy pays his salary!

    - Notice how Sue Ellen turned her diamond ring to the inside of her hand when she was flirting with Dusty? Gotta love it!

    - The lame slap of JR sounded like the slap that Kristin gave Alan.  Bad sound effects.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Pam called Digger "Daddy" today.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, it's a new trend. It used to be that Ellie called Digger "Willard" and everyone else in the world, including Digger himself, called him "Digger". Now Ellie calls him Digger and his kids call him "Daddy". Bizarre.

    - Dusty closed the door of that restaurant, but it sprang back open as he walked to Sue Ellen's table.

    - The rodeo announcer was ridiculous! He called just about every contestant "the best cowboy around" or "as good a cowboy as there is."  Even Bobby was "the best cowboy in the county."  Oh please.  He may ride around Southfork once in a while, but he couldn't even lasso Luke in yesterday's epsiode.   Calling Bobby the best cowboy in the country is like calling Larry Hagman the best limp-faker in the county.  He told the crowd the function of the clowns at the end of the rodeo. He was all-around boring and unhelpful.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He was to the crowd, certainly. But I'm sure a 1980 audience needed this kind of cabbageing and prompting.

    - Sue Ellen bad grammar alert: called Dusty a "real good" rider.

    - I'm a little disappointed that JR didn't throw Alan into the pool.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That would have been cool. But then we wouldn't have been able to get more shots of Alan's awesome shirt. [Kidding. It was awful.]

    - Dusty, Ray, and Bobby all ended up on their backs in the dirt during the rodeo.   And yet, their clothes managed to stay perfectly clean.  Maybe they're wearing special rodeo outfits that are covered in teflon.  I don't know very much about rodeo attire.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: This is a good point. They sure cleaned up quick.

    AHN Rob's corner:

    - I don't know if anyone's noticed, but that huge picture of the Ewing clan hanging in the den was taken in front of the original ranch house.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No one's noticed yet. Good one.

    - Question: Why would Dusty carry around half of a rodeo flyer? Most of the artwork and the prize info were torn away.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's probably been in his grubby pocket for a day and a half.

    - Doesn't allowing Ewings to compete in the rodeo present a conflict of interest?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Good question. At this point, only one Ewing is competing...perhaps Bobby's just competing for fun is and probably disqualified from winning any prize money. That would be kind of stupid otherwise.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - The drug store in BraDDock also bought a consonant from Vanna and has the prerequisite Ewing reserved parking spot for Bobby and Sue Ellen right in front.

    - I thought Lucy's tube top and slacks outfit in one of the early scenes was very flattering. Too bad she was back in pigtails and reading people's mail later. And what a pre-saging of how Ray's character is going to wind up. How bullheaded and self-pitying was not reading any of Donna's letters? Jeez, why not just crawl up in a corner and die, Ray? Can you spell L-O-S-E-R?

    - Yes, that was Jackie at the rodeo. I spotted her twice as an extra near JR in scenes at the rodeo. I didn't watch for her in the credits because I figured she'd never get listed as an extra with no lines. But I guess having dad a big wheel on the show has it's perks becuase another AHN spotted her name in the credits.

    - Wow, I guess things between JR and Sue Ellen ARE really bad. Imagine JR getting her into position for a little of his favorite forced sex action and then getting so disgusted he backs off!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: The irony of this struck me too. I'm not too sure why JR would be cowed just because Sue Ellen knows about him and Kristin.

    - Anybody that knows what a non-physical, cowardly wuss JR is would have immediately suspected a setup when he slapped the much younger and physically imposing Alan Beam.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Anybody who thought seriously about it. Good thing none of the family was around except silly old Lucy.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Jock was out overseeing the construction for the rodeo the following day and Ellie asked him if he was working too hard.  Working?  All it looked like he was doing to me was standing around handing out orders. This was hardly strenuous work.  Of course Ellie mentioned that she too had work to do and it looked like she was just hanging out in the study doing whatever it is Ellie does and chatting to Bobby.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess your point is that they have a really strained definition of "work". I concur.

    - Ray was also a big slob in this episode.  He got mad and threw the newspaper clipping on the floor, right after putting Donnna's letter in the drawer. This was the day before the rodeo.  When Lucy walked in to Ray's the next day, she picked the clipping off of the floor.  Of course, it needed to be there for Lucy to find it and realize it was Donna Culver Ray was referring to, but in any event, Ray's not too in to the cleaning up thing.  Besides, Lucy could've figured it out from say, reading the letters, or checking the return address.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: True enough, but it looks cooler this way.

    - Lucy must have been bored at the rodeo, she had time to change her nail polish. When she was looking through Donna's letters, the closeup shot of her hand showed red nails, so did the long shot while she was reading the letter.  Later, when she found Ray at the shoot before his last ride, she hugged him and it was very clear, her nails were pale pink!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent catch! I was looking at her nails when she wa in the house to confirm they were red, which they were, but I missed this.

    Episode 38: Mastectomy, Part I

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Bobby (after Pam told him about Miss Ellie): We'll get another opinion.
    > Pam: They've run all the tests they can!
    (He didn't say another test, Pam, he said another opinion.)

    Pam Award:

    Pam may be dumb but she sure brightens up a room.

    Angelica Award:

    Jock's blindingly bright blue suit.

    Bobby Award:

    The Elby-man.

    April Award:

    Pam for telling the whole family [and God knows who else] about Ellie's surgery.

    Sue Ellen's "I'm not ready" meter:

    Tells Dusty she's not ready to leave JR.

    HNP Ahmer's Corner:

    - RANTING: When Ellie tells Pam about her fears of Jock leaving her after the surgery, Pam talks about how honesty in a relationship is so important. God bless Victoria Principal, but I wanted to slap Pam so bad after her long-winded hypocritical speech. Give me a break! How 'honest' was she with Bobby about the neurofibromatosis? This wishy-washiness on Pam's part about every little thing is really starting to bother me. Thank God they got rid of that annoying music that served as 'Pam's theme' in the first season...if I hear it again I'll puke.

    [Now that that's out of the way, on to the nits...]

    - When JR wakes up in Kristin's room, he's wearing pajamas. I wouldn't expect JR to wake up fully clothed after spending the night with Kristin. Frankly, I'm kind of surprised he keeps a pair of pajamas there - he must really feel committed to her!

    - Does the hired help EVER pick up the phone? Today, Ellie has to pick up when Harland calls.

    - Pam tells Ellie she took the day off from work. Even someone as pathetic as Liz Craig should probably have asked her, "Do you still work here?"

    - Pam had a quarter to call Bobby in her otherwise empty purse.

    - Watch carefully when Ellie learns about her surgical options. When the camera faces the surgeon, his arms are folded, but when the camera faces Ellie his arms are at his sides.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    - Jock must have a knack for changing outfits pretty quick. When he tells Ellie about Amanda, he's wearing his powdery blue country outfit. Suddenly, after the commercial, he's talking to Bobby and wearing a gray suit. Though it's unclear how much time elapses between the two events, I find it unlikely that Jock would go upstairs to his room to change - especially since Pam indicates to Bobby that Ellie went there first.

    - Dusty, that expert rodeo cowboy, ties his horse to a tree branch, which is not a very good idea because a horse is usually capable of pulling hard enough to break a branch if it wants too. Sue Ellen does a much better job, using the tree's trunk rather than a branch.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - What is up with that announcer in the beginning of the show?  He could barely contain his hatred for JR and kept making all these snide comments about him and the way he treated Sue Ellen.  I thought announcers were supposed to be kind of neutral...

    - My mornings would be so much simpler and I would get so much more sleep if only I could shower, dry my hair, and get dressed as quickly as JR did after his night with Kristen.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Oh, to be a guy. In college, I had this down to a science. Down the stairs in five minutes.

    - Everyone in Southfork was talking about Miss Ellie's "explosion" during her fight with Jock.  Did they cut it or something?  All I saw was Miss Ellie raise her voice slightly and leave the room.  Not quite an explosion.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think some of it may have been cut.

    - The coffee shop where Dusty and Sue Ellen met scrambled six eggs faster then JR showered.

    - I find it strange that of all the talk of Alan being a great lawyer we've heard that we've never seen him actually working.  Usually bright young lawyers work all the time.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess he got his job on reputation. This is a great point.

    - Pam is angry about Miss Ellie worrying Jock by staying in the hospital overnight because Pam is a stupid hypocrite.  Like she ever considers Bobby's feelings or how worried he is about her.  The scene was saved, though, when Miss Ellie laid the smackdown on her and kicked her out of the room.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Most definitely. I ranted about this last year. I wish Ellie had asked her if she liked pancakes, like The Rock would.

    - We didn't get to see Bobby park in front of the hospital today, but you know he did.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Pam and I think Ellie have empty purses.  Kristin just arrives at Ewing Oil with no purse at all.  Did she walk?  Take a cab?  Shouldn't she have a place for money and keys?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'll bet the Ewing condo is just down the street from the office, but this is still odd.

    - Not a nit, but funny as hell.   JR's whole comment to Connie to see if she had made the coffee that morning after he downed the sludge Kristin made.  I also loved Connie's facial expressions when Kristin pulls the "Is JR in yet?" act. You ain't fooling no one, Kris.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I was laughing out loud too.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - I guess they didn't want to reshoot Kristin's scene.  She misses one button so her blouse is crooked.  It is all straight by the time she reaches the office though.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Dusty must have sent all his kerchiefs out to the dry cleaners. His neck is naked throughout this show. Has anybody ever mentioned what a strange way of standing (almost effeminate) Jared Martin strikes in scenes where he's a distance away from Sue Ellen and listening to her talk?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No one's pointed it out, but you're right.

    - What was up with Mitzi the waitress getting all that screen time, dialogue and long closeup? Was she releated to Katzman or or of the cast?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know. That is odd, come to think.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Nice use of technique by Dr. Elby when he made Sue Ellen get her own glass of water.   He was making her be dependent on herself rather than others.  Even something as simple as getting her own water is a step in the right direction for Sue Ellen, now maybe she can learn to be more self reliant in making real decisions in her life. Of course, we already know she does this eventually, but that's beside the point.

    - The OLM and the DA's office are in the same building.  The same establishing shot of the building was the same today, while Cliff was still with the OLM as it was the other day when he was with the DA's office.  This is not impossible, just something interesting to note.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess it's easier for Cliff - that way we he goes to the same place no matter what his job is.

    - Ellie carried the official Ewing Hospital Stay suitcase for her trip to the hospital.

    - Bobby should start paying Connie a better salary so she can buy some more clothes. The poor girl had to wear the same royal blue blouse and tan sweater vest I've seen her in during at least four or five different episodes.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, and you know what? Louella has worn that butt-ugly purple dress twice already and many more times next season. Connie deserves better than this, at least.

    - Sue Ellen is frequenting that coffee shop every morning looking for Dusty?  How long has it been since the rodeo?  A few days?  A few weeks?  The waitress asked Sue Ellen  if she were going to just have coffee or if she were going to have the 'usual'.  Prior to the rodeo, Sue Ellen always ate breakfast at the ranch, with the family.  It also seemed like Sue Ellen and Dusty hadn't seen each other since the rodeo, but she knew he was working at the other ranch.  If they have seen each other since then, why is she scoping out the diner every morning like a lovesick teenager? If she hasn't seen him, don't scope the place out, CALL HIM!!! I'm sure he called her and gave her a number.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: The rodeo was in Episode 37 - the one just previous to this in the normal regimen. So maybe this isn't too bad. I'm nor sure what purpose is served by having Sue Ellen chase after him like this, though.

    - Dr. Danvers went to check on Ellie after surgery and he was still wearing his surgical outfit, sweat stain on his forehead and all.  Don't surgeons usually change following surgery while the patient is going to recovery?  We'll give him the benefit of the doubt here, because he's concerned about Ellie who has been a patient for years.   Shouldn't Ellie have been in recovery following surgery?  If so, shouldn't she also have had some sort of monitors on her, for her heart or something?  If she was in recovery, could Jock have just walked in like that?  If this was supposed to have been a couple of hours after surgery and Ellie was already in a private room, shouldn't Dr. Danvers definitely have been back in his regular clothes? Even if he were still in his surgical outfit, shouldn't the sweat stain at least been dry?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Tough call. Dr. Danvers would not have done the actual surgery, of course, but he would have been present and probably would have helped out to whatever extent he could. It gets hot in those places. Maybe he just hasn't had time to change yet - or maybe he thinks it's possible that for whatever reason Ellie might have to be wheeled back in or something like that.
    As far as Ellie being in "recovery" - that's a really great question. My mother says that after her procedure, she was recuperating in a hospital bed after a few hours. Normally no one needs special attention after a mastectomy unless there are surgical complications.

    Episode 39: Mastectomy, Part II

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Pam]

    > Cliff to Pam:  "Ellie Ewing was very special to him (Digger).  She was his first love, he lost her."

    Ummmm......yeah Cliff, we know, we've heard the story several times.  Can you smell the cabbage?

    Pam Award:

    Pam in her rather appropriate [for this episode] breast-accentuating sundress.

    Angelica Award:

    Bobby's very cool tan sport shirt with button pockets when Ellie arrived home.

    Bobby Award:

    Lucy with the flat do and ribbon.

    April Award:

    Digger for thinking he and Ellie have a chance at starting over.

    Sue Ellen's denial meter: 1.

    Tells Pam she doesn't what she's talking about when Pam says she's unable to confront the issue of the day.

    Sue Ellen's "I'm not ready" meter:

    Tells Dusty she's still not ready to leave Southfork.

    - This is a rather gratuitous one, but I felt it was odd, and several folks on the newsgroup have echoed the sentiment: when Ellie goes through her wardrobe after her surgery, she finds a lot of summer dresses and other outfits designed to show off the figure. Where are all her sack dresses? We never see her actually wearing any outfits like the ones she rummages through. Very odd.

    - I don't need to repeat the fact that Barbara Bel Geddes was outstanding in this episode, but I will - except for one small thing. When she meets Digger in the park, her left arm is suddenly very mobile! Then she returns to Southfork and it's stiff again, as it should be.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    - When Sue Ellen is lying in bed talking to JR, she's drinking out of an empty coffee cup.

    - When Sue Ellen calls Dusty late in this episode, he answers the phone by saying "Hello there", as if he knew it was Sue Ellen. But she replies, "I'm glad that you answered," which would lead one to suspect that he shouldn't know it was her. Does Dusty have some psychic power or perhaps an advanced form of Caller ID on the rotary phone he is using? Bizarre.

    Jason responds:

    I have a theory on why Dusty answers the phone "Hello".  Sue Ellen calls him at the hospital and probably arranged a time to call him later, since we see her call him when she arrives back at Southfork.  Dusty probably gave her the number to the stables at Southern Cross or wherever he was staying.  You can see he is in a barn, not a house, when she calls him the second time and he gives this familiar greeting.  I bet they set up a time for her to call him and he expected it to be her.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Empty Purse meter-  Sue Ellen at the hospital and Ellie when she confronts Lucy at the end.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, Sue Ellen at least had a quarter to call Dusty.

    - So did they bandage down BBG's breast to make her look lop-sided for this episode?   I wondered that.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think so. Something along those lines. That must have been rough.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Yesterday Harlan said Jock would have to be the one to tell Ellie about the surgery, but today it's revealed that Harlan told her.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess DA MAN didn't quite have the heart.

    - Pam has her usual hair problems.  Today it shifts 3 or 4 times when she's talking with Sue Ellen.

    - When Ellie meets with Digger, she's wearing clunky, beige pumps.  By the time she gets home, her fashion sense takes over, and she has on trim, taupe heels.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - This episode began the morning after Ellie's surgery.  We know this because Pam told Digger and Cliff that her surgery was the day before yesterday. So why did Jock arrive home wearing a tan sports coat and dark pants when he was wearing his powder blue suit after Ellie's surgery, the day before and he had been there all night?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent call. I had a feeling there was a clothes nit here somewhere.

    - It was broad day light when Jock arrived home from the hospital.  Then there was a cut to an establishing shot of the hospital where it looked very dark, like either very early morning or dusk.  Then there was a cut back to J.R. and Sue Ellen in their bedroom and it was broad day light again outside of their window.

    - Sue Ellen called Dusty from the hospital.  When did he give her his phone number?   He didn't do it in the coffee shop.  If she had it before their breakfast in the coffee shop, I have to ask the question again, WHY DID SHE SCOPE OUT THE COFFEE SHOP, WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST CALL HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE??  She didn't seem to have a problem with it today.  She called him twice, once from the hospital and then again from Southfork.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: They might have exchanged the numbers off-screen or it may have been cut.

    - Did Dr. Danvers wait until the entire family was there before telling them about Ellie's condition?  If not, Pam had perfect timing, she walked in just as he walked over to speak to them and it seemed like they had all been there awhile.

    - Digger left half a plate of food when he got up from the table with Pam and Cliff.   BTW, someone really should tell Digger to remove his wedding ring. I've noticed during several episodes.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe Digger's kept it on for old time's sake.

    - Pam took off work the day of Ellie's surgery, and apparently the day after.  I doubt this was a weekend, J.R. said he was going back to the office.  She was also home the day Ellie came back home.  If this wasn't a weekend, that would mean once again she was a no show at work.  Did she take off only these days, or the whole two weeks Ellie was gone.  Never mind, I'm sure she took the whole two weeks.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm sure she did too.

    - The oak wood armoire in Jock and Ellie's bedroom didn't go very well with the mahogany bed, they were completely different woods and styles.

    - The porcelain dog came in from his walk with Raoul.  He made an appearance in the living room when Ellie talked to

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I keep missing that dog!

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - I though Pam's opening outfit was outstanding. Did she look statuesque coming down the stairs in that tight top with no bra and tight slacks or what?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I must admit I don't remember off the top of my head. The answer to your question is probably yes, but I'll have to check.

    - How soon they forget award: Sue Ellen forgets Gary in her rant about the "Ewing men". And where was Gary when his mother was going through this? Not even a cheap TV plot device phone call from Knots Landing?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Good point.

    - Who are the two strangers on the hospital waiting room couch when the Ewings are all assembled there? You mean the Ewings don't have their own reserved waiting room at Dallas Memorial to go along with all those reserved prime parking spots?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess not. I was going to mention it but it's actually a nice dose of reality.

    - Why do I think Digger stole those wild flowers for Ellie from the hospital's flower beds?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Because he probably did.

    - For his first appearnace, Dusty's kerchiefs have not returned from the cleaners but he really commits a fashion faux pas later when he wears a kerchief with a white shirt and sport coat.

    - What about that dreadful looking red vinyl or leather couch and chair set in Ellie's bedroom. Ugly even by SF standards!

    - Where is Digger getting all this money that he's going to use take Ellie away from Dallas and "traveling"? He's dirt-poor as near as I can tell. Jeez, he's living with Cliff!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think he's counting on Ellie's divorce settlement.

    - Not only is the porcelain dog back but there's a puppy on one of the end tables. That explains why he was missing for a few episodes. He was put out to stud.

    - Jock blocks at least two and possibly all four of the Ewing cars in with his truck when he parks in the driveway.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I figure this is one way to make sure everyone stays home for dinner.

    Episode 40: The Heiress

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Rob]

    > Cliff: "My sister tells me that you've [Sue Ellen] recovered from your accident."

    Isn't it OBVIOUS, Cliff?  She IS walking around in public isn't she?

    Pam Award:

    Lucy deserves some credit today.

    Angelica Award:

    Sue Ellen's weird hat.

    Bobby Award:

    Good ol' Dr. Elby. Alan's head and chest deserve mention.

    April Award:

    Lucy for falling for JR's scheme to discredit Alan a second time. She should at least be a little bit suspicious.

    - I liked JR's Line of the Day, but of course it contains a contradiction. The Holy Roman Empire would have an emperor, not a king. Kingdoms have kings.

    - Pam and Bobby's discussion about the Ewings butting heads with Cliff is pure cabbage. Do they really need to rehash all of the details about why this tug-of-war is going on?

    - When Lucy follows Alan to the park, she's been desperately trying to get his attention all along, right? She even honked her horn at him a couple of times. So when she gets to the park, why doesn't she pull up right next to his car, rather than parking in a separate lot? Superweak.

    - Really nice that JR is carrying that beeper so that Alan can reach him even at Kristin's place. Too bad we'll never see the beeper again.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Alan's lucky little Jimmy knows a signature should be written in cursive style.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Wouldn't it be great if Jimmy had grabbed the pen in his fist and printed his name?

    - All clandestine phone calls should logically be done clandestinely.  Even though nothing happens, Alan is foolish for making that call to JR when campaign workers might overhear him.  The same goes for Lucy.  Jock just walked out of the room, and she's talking to Alan about their secret rendezvous.

    - Legally I should think all campaigns are obligated to give donors a receipt, but Alan never does.

    - I don't see why Alan slips Lucy's $100 under the blotter, and then after talking with JR puts it into the box.  If anything, I would think he'd WANT Lucy to see him deposit it to reinforce he's serious about the campaign.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't quite get this either.

    - It makes sense Cliff is interested in all the little people contributing to him, but he never mentions the $1000 donor.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Alan asks the little boy, Jimmy, to sign his name and address in the donation book but he only puts his name.

    - Who was that with Sue Ellen when she bumped into Cliff?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No idea.

    - Pam sure is stupidly loyal to a brother that continually uses her while she seems to constantly assume the worst in faithful and honest Bobby.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think you've put into words what REALLY bothers me about Pam. She's so emotionally dependent on him but seems to have no concept of how her relationship works both ways. Just because Bobby doesn't fawn all over her all the time, he's instantly able to become the bad guy at the drop of a hat.

    - Alan whispered to Lucy in the hall to come back.  I doubt that she could even hear him.  He should have made an effort to go after her.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, he couldn't exactly yell with Betty Lou there - I guess. But then he does tell her. That WAS weird.

    - I will say this for Alan.... He sure has balls to tell his girlfriend that he wants to marry Lucy for her money then tell her that she is the only one he loves......

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think we don't get to hear the important part of his plan for some reason. I'm sure that in the first run we heard more of this conversation and Alan said he just wanted to marry Lucy, get into the family, and then have Betty Lou as his mistress.

    AHN Rob's corner:

    - Migod!  Did you see that cheap-assed watch the Ewings gave Jock for his birthday?   It looked like something that could have sold for $9.99 at the local Circle K!   And that ONE GIFT came from the ENTIRE EWING FAMILY!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Good selling job by Jock. Of course, they've had nice things for so long that I bet you it would be easy to pass something cheap off as an antique.

    - Cliff somehow thinks he'd have more power to stop the Ewings from Congress because he'd be able to control who drills for oil anywhere in the world.  Can this be right, or is Cliffy-boy deluding himself again?  I mean, I seriously doubt if Henry Hyde, for example would have a say in who drills in Kuwait, would he?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably not directly, but certainly he would have some influence. Put it this way - if the Secretary of State or someone like that talked to the right person in Kuwait, he or she could probably stop or delay a drilling expedition. And so if someone has the ear of the Secretary of get the idea.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Once again, Jock forgets he had a heart attack and a recent bullet in the gut, as he breaks up the fight between JR and Alan. And nobody tries to save him from himself either. Where was Bobby? Mr. "If there's a bar brawl, count me in" sat on his hands the whole time, neither supporting nor protecting his brother or father.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: You know why? Because if he did, I bet it would be a cold night for the Boboski, thanks to his "can't we all just get along" wife.

    - Lucy is such a lame cardboard character. It's hard to believe anybody could be that insecure and stupid all the time. You just cannot root for her. I find myself anxiously waiting with glee for when it all blows up in her face again.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Good analysis. I think that's Lucy's real problem as a character - the producers NEVER really make an effort to make her truly likable. She suffers a lot but it's mostly because of her own stupidity for sure. The only exception might be the Mickey Trotter thing, but by then we're so far gone with Lucy's nonsense it might be too late.

    - Maybe it's too much illegal alcohol that's killing her brain cells. Once again, she's out drinking illegally, this time with Alan Beam. She's a freshman at SMU and couldn't be more than 19 at this point. Or maybe hanging around with that braindead Muriel character is rubbing off on  her.

    - Alan Beam's pipe is the perfect accessory for his hopelessly preppy, pretentious, power hungry lawyer character.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Does Kristin wear an engagement ring around the condo, fantasizing about becoming the next Mrs. J.R. Ewing?  If not, the director or somebody should suggest to Mary Crosby that she remove her engagement ring!  I noticed it several times throughout the scene when J.R. and Kristin were drinking martinis.

    - I was amused at the fact that Jock grounded Lucy for speeding. She's what? 19 or so and out DRINKING again I might add.  It struck me as funny that last season she was 'considered' old enough and 'mature' enough to get married, but now she's grounded for three speeding tickets.  Isn't she a little past the grounding stage?  Besides, wouldn't her license be suspended for three tickets?  It didn't seem as though she were driving on a hardship license, unless she hadn't been to court yet.  Too bad we didn't get to see a scene where the cops brought her home for the third ticket.  I would've loved to have seen THAT!!

    - OK, we've seen Pam hold Lucy's hand in the stable, Kristin took J.R.'s hand in the office last season. That's strange, but at least these people are all family.  But in today's episode, Sue Ellen and her 'friend' were walking down the street after leaving Cliff and her 'friend's' arm was intertwined in Sue Ellen's. I've NEVER walked down the street with any of my friends like this.

    -  Pam carried the same tan empty purse when she went to Cliff's, but didn't have it during her walk with Bobby.  BTW, don't these people eat lunch anymore? Lucy carried some empty draw sting bag like purse when she saw Bobby in the driveway as she was leaving for 'school'.  Then she carried a black clutch purse when Alan found her at school.   But, she didn't have a purse when she went to Alan's apartment.  OK, maybe she left her purse in the trunk.  There were no pockets in her cheerleading outfit, so where did she leave her car keys, the ignition?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think so. Most people seem to leave the keys in the ignition at Southfork...guess it carries over.

    - Alan said that the dean's office told him where he could find Lucy, again, she's very dressed up for campus life.  It's a little hard to believe that the dean's office would know exactly where Lucy was aimlessly wandering around campus....without books of course.....

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think Alan might have made that part up - he's probably stalking her but doesn't want to let on.

    - Kristin really earned her salary today, watering plants.  Why would she be doing this anyway?  Most companies, especially ones as large and with pockets as deep as Ewing Oil would have a plant service come in and take care of such things.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Usually the building takes care of that stuff, don't they? Property management? I guess it depends on whether the plants were provided by the building owners or not. But then again, it's supposed to be the Ewing building, so maybe they are the owners. Though they usually should have a separate office for property management.

    - Bobby went to the office with his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel......again.

    - When Pam and Bobby were lying in bed and she begged him to talk to her, gee, I can't imagine why he wouldn't be talking to her, what with her in the supportive wife role and all. Pam propped herself up and leaned her back against the pillow after she turned on the light. The scene cut to Bobby and when they cut back to Pam, she was lying down again. I'm not saying that it's impossible that she would lie down again, it just seemed odd that she would go through the effort of propping herself up and getting comfortable only to lie back down immediately when Bobby talked to her.

    Episode 41: Ellie Saves the Day

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Pam to Cliff: "If you stop putting all the pressure on Ewing Oil, we can all live happily together."
    (Right, Pollyanna.  I mean Pam.)

    Pam Award:

    Kristin's red dress.

    Angelica Award:

    Nothing too bad.

    Bobby Award:

    Kristin should not wear her hair up.

    April Award:

    Giving this to JR doesn't seem quite right, but there had to be a better way for him to cover his tracks.

    - The Dallas hall of records is not the same as it was in "Double Wedding". That was a much bigger building.

    - Sue Ellen says that she knows that JR is scared because she's never seen him this way before...zuh? Wouldn't she have had to have seen him in this condition at least once to KNOW that it was happening [again?]

    - When Sue Ellen is talking to Cliff, her eyes dart back and forth as if she's reading cue cards. Strangely though, the focus seems to be right on Cliff's face! That's weird - are her lines on his nose?

    - John Ross looks way too big for a premature baby who's only been around for thirteen episodes.

    - This is a very deep-seated nit, so be prepared. Ellie says that the terms of her father's will gave the mineral rights to Southfork to her exclusively. This is not unusual; it's the principle behind an oil lease - a person or company has some land which contains some oil, but no way to go about drilling it. So they lease the land to an oil company so that the oil can be drilled, and they share in the profits. What's interesting to me is how this plays out later.
    Despite the fact that JR mortgaged it, I'm still fairly convinced that Ellie and Jock are the joint owners of Southfork. But Ellie alone would hold the legal right to allow drilling. The terms of Jock's will leave the deed and ownership of Southfork to Ellie, and in later seasons she decides to cut Clayton into the ownership, and then finally decides to leave it to Bobby.
    Is there a point to this? Yes, and I'm glad you asked. In War of the Ewings, JR firmly states that "the terms of  my daddy's will bequeathed all mineral rights to Southfork to our children's trust funds". My question is how that is possible. The mineral rights belong to Ellie, and there is no evidence at all that that ever changed. Certainly there is no logical way that JOCK's will would be able to bequeath any such thing because the rights could not possibly belong to him. Very odd.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Sue Ellen seems fully clothed in bed.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. She said she was just by the staircase eavesdropping, but I'm not sure why she would then jump under the covers just because JR was on his way up.

    - I liked it how Ellie and Ray discuss his love life..... and how he seems to be checking her out later on during her walk of the estate. All this happens by the hayloft no less.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: You horny bastard, Ray.

    - We should set up some sort of Ellie scolding JR for his dirty deeds meter.    She didn't actually say "you went too far" today but her final line was close...

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Frankly, I wouldn't say she scolded anyone today. JR got off far too easily.

    - There's a new Theresa today.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - That "Cliff Barnes for Congress" chanting was so lame.  It was only about four people and monotone.

    - Bobby and JR were loud, but we're supposed to believe they woke up the whole family, Sue Ellen, Pam and Lucy just stood inside listening, and Sue Ellen leaves to hop into bed before JR gets there.  Plus her explanation just seems like a shortcut so they don't have to film them reacting.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess so.

    - Bobby tells Pam he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, so why in the next scene has he bothered to change into his robe before he talks with Jock?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess he took off the suit and didn't feel like putting anything else on.

    - It takes Theresa an awfully long time to simply fill a plate for JR from the breakfast buffet.  We never do see him being served.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, he wanted the works...

    - Ellie says 40 years ago Ewing Oil paid the mortgage on Southfork.  That would make it 1939.  I thought it was 1935 that they got together.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: She's estimating.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - JR is wearing out that brown cowboy hat with the garish band.

    - Bobby showed up for work looking like he was mistakenly thinking he was going to the Braddock disco - collar rolled outside onto his suit jacket, shirt unbuttoned to mid-chest, no tie.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed that. I don't know what he's thinking. Perhaps he figures that if Kristin won't talk to him, at least they can boogie.

    - Nice job by Kristen holding up flawlessly to Bobby's intimidating interrogation. Too bad the writers blew it by having her bawl and whimper about it to JR later. This show is sorely in need of a strong woman who uses her brain. Pam is most times the former and rarely the latter.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I agree. I think the writers needed to do this in order for JR to know that Bobby knows that something is up, but it's a shame Kristin has to be the weak link.

    - Cliff's grey hair is back with a vengeance. Must have stopped dying during the two parter on mastectomy.

    - Alan Beam adds another stereotypical preppy touch here with a watch and chain in his vest pocket.

    - Was that the real Teresa JR ordered to give him breakfast? That looked like the young chick with the braid down her back. She must be one of the fake Teresas Raoul is wetbacking into to Texas.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: She is a fake one. Definitely not the real Theresa who we saw a few days ago.

    - Jock plays ref again between Bobby and JR and again nobody chastises him for endangering his health.

    - How come JR didn't think about drilling section 40 to save the day? He recently tested it and knows there's a bonanza underground there. That was a real plot flaw. But maybe he read the script and knew Miss Ellie was booked to save the day instead.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He doesn't have the mineral rights. There'd be nothing in it for him. And the way things are, I really don't think anyone in the family is willing to listen to JR's suggestions about how to get out of it. Can you imagine the smackdown he would get if he rushed in and said "Mama, I mortgaged Southfork and we're going to lose our home unless we drill on Section 40 right away"?

    Episode 42: Mother of the Year

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of me]

    > Lucy: "Where do you want me to put these [stuffed animals], Pam?"
    Darn it, Lucy, put the hairbrush down and use your three working brain cells! Where would you expect to put stuffed animals for John Ross? Maybe...IN THE NURSERY? If the writers are going to give Lucy a push, they better figure out some better angle for her than to just be an dumb, immature, mouthy girl with big hair and a nice figure.

    Pam Award:

    I'd say Sue Ellen wins today.

    Angelica Award:

    Sue Ellen's roadkill scarf. Honorable mention goes to Alan's ugly burgundy suit and Lucy's horrendous outfit with the butt-ugly tie.

    Bobby Award:

    Dr. Elby. Duh.

    April Award:

    Nothing egregious.

    Sue Ellen denial meter: 1

    Tells JR she doesn't know what he's talking about when he mentions their earlier conversation.

    - Mrs. Reeves must have gone to the Jackie Dugan school of nannying. I dare say Fran Drescher is a better caretaker. What exactly does she do to earn her salary? In the opening scene, she tells the baby-holding Pam that "you shouldn't be doing that." I practically SCREAMED at my television, "No, YOU should!" And then later when John Ross is bawling away and Sue Ellen is standing watching him, she must be taking a beauty nap.

    - When confessing her confusion to John Ross, Sue Ellen's hair looked more auburn than Pam's.

    - JR tells Alan to use the remaining campaign money to continue Cliff's campaign...why? Cliff's resigned and JR's achieved his goal...he said so himself. So why not just pull the plug and leave Cliff out to dry?

    - When Jock and Bobby head out to the Ray's place, Bobby doesn't close the fence door behind them. I'm sure Ray will appreciate that.

    - How exactly does everyone in Dallas found out about the Asian oil strike so quickly? I mean, I can understand the Associated Press finding out. But how would they disseminate this information? There was no Internet at the time [remember when there was no Internet? I can't.] and I can't imagine that this is the kind of thing that would be on a TV or radio bulletin, except on a station devoted to the financial news. These were very few in 1979.
    My long-winded point here is that I don't think it makes sense for Ewing Oil and Southfork to be FLOODED with calls thirty seconds after the Associated Press confirms the oil strike. Yeah, sure, some eagle-eyed financiers might be interested, but it just rings very odd with me.

    - The braided Theresa hasn't been found by INS yet, so she's on duty today.

    - Hey, Pam, it's Thursday afternoon. So you must be working, right? No? How come? Oh, because John Ross might cry and he needs you? I see. So Sue Ellen has a baby, and YOU get the maternity leave. Nice.

    - Lucy says the phones at Southfork haven't stopped ringing for a half hour...but they've stopped now so that conversations can happen, I guess.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Why did John stop crying BEFORE Sue Ellen picks him up?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know.

    - JR tells Sue Ellen,  "I suppose Pam was there (in the nursery)," then says  " I am waiting for an answer to my question". Strictly speaking, that isn't a question...   Small nit but there wasn't a lot to choose from today.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, I guess you're right. This is one of those questions by inflection.

    - Although I can see how she was going overboard, I basically agree with Pam that SOMEONE needs to hold the baby.  Infants need skin to skin contact and to be held or they can suffer emotionally later on.  It's not like Sue Ellen, JR or even Ellie and Jock are spending any time with him. At least he gets some human contact with Pam.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, I just came to that realization myself. I agree with you but I wish it didn't have to be Pam. I'll save my rant for the "I think" - I wanted to get it in this week but there was too much to cover.

    - Sue Ellen has a fight with Pam in the nursery then leaves in a huff, presumably to go shout at Elby.  but she apparently stops by her room to change clothes first. She was dressed fine.  Weird.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed that too. I figure it might have been the next day.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Baby John has undergone a major growth spurt, especially his hair.  He looks a bit like a little Eskimo baby.  Even with this "Nanook of the North" look, Pam still doesn't need to smother him in that blue blanket.  Maybe Sue Ellen can stick that fur on a parka for him.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That's a good idea. He looks like he's at least nine months old!

    - Jock tells JR, "This is your mess, and I'm gonna clear it up."  But what he did was leave JR's desk in a mess for him to clear up.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Maybe that's what he meant -  he was going for lunch but later he'd come back and straighten the papers. [You think?]

    - Jock is too much of a he-man to be wearing a gold chain around his neck.

    - Kristin doesn't even say hello when the AP calls.  And how would the press know before JR?  His foreman on the rig, or whatever his title is, would have called JR first the minute the strike came in.  I doubt the press is just hanging around the rig waiting for something to happen.  And how can Lucy confirm to anyone that it's true?  Pam said they just heard it from
    the AP.  I wonder if all this qualifies for product placement for the Associated Press.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think it does. This whole thing is totally ridiculous. There's no way that in 1980 the press would get wind of this that quickly.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Lucy's slide down the staircase was lame, really fake looking, and took a good ten minutes to complete.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It just seemed that way. It WAS really lame, though.

    - What was with the frog sound effects during one of the exterior shots of Southfork?   Where were those frogs supposed to be?  The pool?  That's the only close body of water to Southfork.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I missed that. I guess they could be from a swamp which we don't see.

    - After JR struck oil, why were there phone ringing sound effects when all the phones in the Ewing Office where clearly in use?

    - What a touching scene at the end of the episode.  Too bad VP ruined it with her smile-cry that made her look like she found something funny about losing John Ross.

    AHN Val's corner:

    - Does it bother anyone else that Baby John is ALWAYS in his crib? Seriously. In reality, a baby spends only about 3 to 5 daytime hours TOTAL napping. And even then, that time is split up in 1 to 2 hour increments. Naptime is the only time that child should be in his crib. Nobody ever takes that boy out of his crib (or even his bedroom, for that matter). Take that boy outside. Put him in a stroller and let him get some fresh air. Stimulate his young mind by letting him explore outside the confines of his nursery. I mean, it does seems like the baby is not allowed in any other part of the house. Is Miss Ellie so obsessed with all her fine furniture that a couple drops of spilled formula would send her packing for an extended vacation at Takapa? Seriously, it seems like Ewing children are not allowed out of their bedrooms. In John Ross' case, the crib is his jail. Poor baby.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Directed by Larry Hagman! That's surprising, I didn't think he had that much clout so early in the series. Was this the first one?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I believe so. And his clout was developing very quickly at this point.

    - Why is Sue Ellen wearing a gold necklace, lipstick and full eye makeup to bed? It's not like she and JR are going to be making love and she wants to look good for him.

    - Another Bobby shirtless scene for the ladies and more Bobby shirts unbuttoned below the chest.

    - Bobby now has a blue bathrobe with white polka dots that matches the pajamas JR wore a few episodes back.

    - Is it me or does Dr. Elby act like a zombie on downers most of the time? He's so laid back he ought to be laid out. He seems bored with the whole Sue Ellen proceedings and except for the final scene, offers no advice or guidance. Even in this scene he comes up short. Ironically, Cliff does a much more effective job of psychoanalyzing SE in about two minutes in their shouting match at his apartment. Once again, it's evident the early Cliff was a far cry from the idiot we got in later seasons.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite true, but this is how ALL psychiatrists are. Trust me - I saw enough of them in action when I was in med school. They're pathetic. We had a running joke that the only reason they became headshrinkers was because they couldn't remember any of the 55 branches that make up your trigeminal nerve.

    - Somebody mentioned Jock is too much of a man to be wearing a gold chain but what about that sissy pinky ring?

    - Clearly, Sue Ellen's foxtail scarf is the Angelica winner hands down, but special mention goes to Bobby's red shirt with the epaulets.

    - Sue Ellen was assigned the empty purse for two scenes in this show.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - When J.R. was talking to Jock in his office he looked like he had on more blush than Sue Ellen, Pam or Lucy.

    - Alan should get a vest that really fits him.  You could see his white dress shirt peeking out of the bottom.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Or perhaps he should lose some weight.

    - J.R. has a lot of phones in his office.  When he was on the line with Hank, he was using a phone on what I guess would be his conference table.  Then when the phone rang again, Kristin turned around and picked up a phone by the couch.  Doesn't he also have one on his desk?  Three phones in one office?  That's a lot of phones!   His office doesn't even appear to be that large.

    - I had to laugh, Bobby emphasized Luke's poor grammar in his post card.  This coming from someone who a few episodes had some of the worst grammar on the show to date.

    - I guess Pam likes to look nice for her middle of the night visits with Baby John.   She was in full makeup and had perfect hair in the nursery.  Even Sue Ellen who crawled out of bed was in full makeup in the middle of the night.

    - Sue Ellen slapped Cliff, and it sounded pretty hard.  Yet again, there was no red mark on Cliff's face.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It sounded harder than it was, I'll warrant.

    Episode 43: Return Engagement

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Kristin: "How did you find me?"
    > Rudy: "I asked your sister."
    > Kristin: "And she told you?"
    (Ah, yeah.  That's what he just said.)

    Pam Award:

    Valene's wardrobe, other than the wedding dress, was quite good on her. Kristin's dinner dress and tennis outfit bear mentioning.

    Angelica Award:

    Valene's wedding dress which looks like it's a hand-me-down from Lilimae Clements's grandmother and hasn't been washed since.

    Bobby Award:


    April Award:


    SPECIAL Award:

    I would like to award the aptly named Rudy for the ROODY-POO CANDY ASS award of the season, if not the series. This guy is such a loser that I think Kristin should think twice before sleeping with him because I'm thinking he could be Patricia Shepard's deformed sister's illegitimate son. I was going to ask what was wrong with his odd-looking right eye but I realize that IT DOESN'T MATTER what's wrong with his eye.

    - Jock should be a little more careful with Ellie's records. He abruptly turns off the phonograph without taking the needle off the record. I had a record player like this and I ruined countless records by doing this and other stupid things.

    - When JR first sits down with the Bullocks, they ask the waiter to bring some champagne for the new arrivals. After a little bit of conversation, we see JR pick up a glass and start drinking. Did the waiter arrive while we weren't looking? It possible it's just a glass of water, but I've never seen JR be content with just water.

    - When Gary first arrives at Ewing Oil, Connie realizes who he is [eventually], shuts the door, and then heads back towards her desk. Bobby IMMEDIATELY buzzes her and asks her to get the ranch on the line. Bob...give the girl A FEW SECONDS to get back to her desk! I know she's got those sweet long legs, but still...

    - And then later, when Val and Gary decide to get married again, Ellie opens the door to call Bobby in and Connie is sitting at Kristin's desk. Why? So the producers wouldn't have to drag the camera down the hall?

    - It's quite evident that this episode was filmed much earlier than the episodes we've seen over the past week. There are subtle clues there for the finding. As Bill Withrow pointed out, JR is actually getting an oil deal done, despite the fact that yesterday Jock said he would be running the company. Another hint is that Sue Ellen is still in her "the doctor says I have to rest" phase, where she sits in the livingroom all day and can't even bring herself to attend the wedding ceremony. She also hasn't gotten the perm that she's sported lately and her hair is much less wavy like earlier in the season. Finally, JR talks to the Bullocks about arrangements for "when that oil comes in" - which means it hasn't come in yet! If the Asian strike had "happened", JR wouldn't have to guesstimate how much oil would be coming in - he would know exactly how much was coming in.

    - This is a could-be nit: why does Gary just show up at Ewing Oil? Shouldn't he call first and make sure that JR [and possibly Jock] are not there? Maybe he did and maybe it was edited out by TNN, so I'm calling it a could-be nit.

    - Were Gary and Val ever legally divorced? Ellie says that they've been "separated" for seventeen years, not divorced. If not, why do they have to go through the rigmarole of a blood test and getting a new marriage license? Our legal advisor Terri confirms: "There is no statute of which I'm aware.  In fact, even if two people establish themselves as "common-law" married (i.e. pay joint taxes, have a joint bank account, hold themselves out as husband and wife, etc.), then they cannot just separate.  They have to actually go through the formal divorce procedure.  So if Gary and Val never got divorced, then a new wedding ceremony would only be for their/their family's benefit (i.e. renewal of vows).  They would not need a new marriage license and blood tests."

    - Another strike against Rudy-Poo: he doesn't let Kristin finish or enjoy her Irish Coffee.

    - When JR calls and Sue Ellen answers the phone, she says, "Ewing Residence". This is the only time I have ever heard this. The Ewing residence happens to have a name - "Southfork Ranch". Whenever anyone calls Southfork, this is what Raoul or Teresa answers, and so do most of the other Ewings. Or else, if they're in their rooms alone, they may respond with a simple, "Hello." [Of course, a lot of times it's just "Yes" or "Yeah", but that's a different story.] The only other times this occurs are in Episodes 289 and 311, when Teresa answers "Ewing Residence". At that point, it is NOT the Ewing residence anyway, so it's a double nit.

    - When Jock tells Bobby about Gary and Val's wedding, he writes something down on a piece of paper. He does it awfully fast! Maybe he just writes down the name of the hotel, but why would he do this? So Jock will have to look it up in the phone book? It would be really considerate to write down the full address. This is very un-Bobby-like.

    Jason responds:

    I think Val and Gary were married at her apartment, not a hotel room. Val seems to have been staying in Dallas for quite a while... maybe since Episode 33 and moved into a real apartment.    Bobby probably wrote down the apartment complex and number.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think you're right, even though the furniture seems really hotelish. But even still, Jock would have to find out where the apartment complex is.

    - Rudy-poo just opens his hotel room door in a towel? What if it was some 63-year-old cleaning woman?  THAT would be a great way to start your shift. And then he gets to hug Mary Crosby who's wearing that nice little tennis outfit. I'll bet he deliberately screwed up a lot of takes. "Whoops! Sorry about that, time, could you hug me a little closer? The light'll be better over here..."

    - Not only is Gary getting his house thanks to Bobby, but he can also thank his little brother for wardrobe and style tips. All these two need is berets and they'll look like Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd. Enough chest hair already.

    - In light of what I said in the "I think" last week, I found it very interesting that Ellie told Gary and Val that "The Ewings" made it impossible for them to raise their does that mean that Ellie is not "The Ewings"? Who exactly are "The Ewings"? This is really starting to bother me.

    - Okay, here's my last shot at Rudy-poo. When JR comes to collect Kristin and his car, he tells Rudy "please don't make this ugly". In the immortal words of Angelica Nero, "It's too late, JR, it's too late!" Rudy-poo made this one ugly the first time he graced the screen. [Insert rimshot here.]

    - Consider what JR must do towards the end of this episode. After hearing the news from Sue Ellen, he has to get his things together and head down to the hotel lobby; banter with the clerks and commandeer a car; drive over to the St. Francis Motel, which is a left turn and four blocks away; bribe the motel manager into taking him to Rudy's room; collect Kristin and lay the smackdown; drive back to Dallas from Austin; find out where Valene's place is so he knows where to go to stop the wedding; and then arrive there. All this in the course of one afternoon? Hard to believe even for him. But here's my main point: did he find time in all of this to drop Kristin off at the condo? Or is she waiting downstairs in the car while he tries to stop the wedding?

    From Bill Withrow:

    How did J.R. manage to find Kristin when she was with Rudy? The room is in Rudy's name and J.R. does not know who Rudy is. Did he show Kristin's picture to the people in the hotel lobby?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: YES! You are very correct. But you know what...I am POSITIVE that I remember seeing a scene where JR spots Rudy and Kristin together. I'm sure I saw it during the first time TNN ran the series but it's gone now. You've jogged my memory.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Val's yellow stained wedding dress. I can't believe Ellie let her wear that rag without even trying to dry clean it. And
    don't say they didn't have time.  Ewings wait in NO line.....also they had time to get a wedding cake.

    - When Gary asks Valene to marry him, I think it would have been better if he said Valene Clements instead of Valene Ewing.  Sounded silly.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: But her name IS Valene Ewing. They have not been divorced.

    - JR seems to refuse to sign his registration card at check in.  I realize that he probably won't do this, but legally the hotel could be in a heap of trouble if he later challenged their bill.  Without a signature on file, they have no legal means to charge his credit card.  (I used to work in a hotel.  Signing reg cards is a BIG DEAL.)

    - I may have missed something, but it seems like they had JR's bill all ready before he asked for it at the front desk (when he was looking for his car). Maybe he called down first or something.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps he did. I suppose when he called for a limo they figured he was leaving.

    - That is a really nice place for Gary and Val to be staying.  They have been living on her waitressing tips.  Must be good business in Dallas.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes! That's what threw me the first time.

    - Where exactly is Lucy heading to in today's episode?  Some sort of trip?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: To Houston. It's SO STUPID that she is not there for her parents' ceremony. I know they want that, but it's just stupid.

    - Just a note-  Today we see all six characters who appear in both Knots and Dallas. JR, Bobby, Lucy, Kristin, Gary and Val.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Ellie's not blasting that record in her bedroom.  I doubt they could hear it so well out on the patio.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess when you play it all morning, it sticks in the head and you can hear it as a phantom thing.

    - That plastic surgery on Gary did wonders.  David Ackroyd was mousy enough for the old Gary, but Ted Shackleford is a better choice for Knots Landing.

    - Valene's apartment is pretty nice for her waitress salary.  Her blue and white dress is practically camouflage though.  If she sits on the sofa, she'll disappear.

    - That valet should get a big tip.  Kristin asks for "her" car, and he knows immediately which one it is.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, she came in with JR Ewing. That's something that boy better remember or he'll find himself behind Rudy-poo on the unemployment line.

    - Rudy is towel-drying his hair, but it's obvious it wasn't wet it the first place.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Jock's pinky ring is back.

    - Are we really supposed to believe that Sue Ellen does embroidery?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's that finishing school talent thing.

    - In this bedroom scene Rudy-poo appeared to be wearing eyeliner.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not sure whether it was eyeliner or antimony. In his opening scene, I noticed that he had a lot of trouble opening his right eye fully - it may have been infected or something. Sometimes antimony helps these things and it looks like eyeliner.

    - Another episode which proves what a bad mother Ellie was and how clueless she is about it. She raised four kids and three were a complete disaster - JR, Gary and Lucy.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And Bobby is practically a co-dependent.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - It was Gary's birthday, a very important day for Ellie. She went shopping after meeting with Val and then got a call from Bobby & Gary and she knew she was going to be meeting with him the next morning.  So why didn't she go back out and buy Gary a birthday present? This was very un-Ellie-like.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That's an interesting point...she went shopping, perhaps she DID buy Gary something and gave it to Val to give to him.

    - Don't any of the stores provide their customers with bags?  Sue Ellen carried a stack of boxes a few episodes ago when she met Dusty. Then the other day Pam came in to Southfork after a shopping spree for Baby John and she also carried a stack of boxes.   Now today, Ellie had a stack of boxes. Sheesh!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess that because of Cliff's policies at the OLM, oil production is down which leads to plastic becoming more expensive.

    - The Irish coffee given to Kristin was not an authentic Irish coffee. There is never and I repeat NEVER any whipped cream in a true Irish coffee.  To make it correctly, pour in coffee, a shot of whiskey, and a pinch of sugar. Pour heavy cream down the back of a spoon so that it will float on the top of the coffee. They're excellent when they're made correctly.

    - Although Val's wedding dress looked really crappy, it should have actually been more deteriorated that it was considering that it sat in a box for twenty years. This is why most women, myself included, have their wedding dresses cleaned and heirloomed at the cleaners as soon as possible following their wedding.  The process they use slows down the deterioration of the fabric significantly.  By simply putting it in a box, there is no real protection from the air, dust, or anything else.  Val's dress had very little significant deterioration, it didn't even look wrinkled!  Also, I find it a little hard to believe that Val, a woman in her early to mid thirties would be able to fit in a dress she wore when she was fifteen.  I'm not saying it's not POSSIBLE, it's just highly unlikely.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: She's still a toothpick...if anything, it might be a little short for her now, but who knows?

    -  I guess the St. Francis hotel is a posh place! They had those cushy blue patterned towels.  I've never stayed in a hotel that had towels any other color than plain white.  Even the towels by the pool are plain white.  I hope J.R. got this kind of treatment in his hotel.

    Episode 44: Love and Marriage

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Matt]

    > Kristin to JR- "The problem seems to be that your daddy just doesn't trust you anymore, JR."

    Pam Award:

    Let's give it to Connie today, just because.

    Angelica Award:

    The waitress at the restaurant where JR meets Harrison.  What is with that outfit?   Looks like a French maid. Nominated by Jason. There were lots of other bad outfits too.

    Bobby Award:

    The new fake Theresa with the afro unseats Dr. Elby for once.

    April Award:

    Jock for believing that JR will change.

    - That horny scamp Raoul has scammed yet another Theresa across the border. He seriously couldn't find anyone better looking than that? I'm beginning to think that he has to settle for women who understand his sign language.

    - Donna Culver does not strike me as the kind of woman who would have a problem with marrying another man so soon after her husband's death, but finds no problem with sleeping with him. 

    - And was it my imagination or did JR proposition Pam during their great dialogue in the middle of this episode? Yikes! He must really have a thing for sisters-in-law - even if they are 'trash from the wrong side of the tracks'. But bravo, JR, for getting rid of Liz Craig. There's one character I won't miss.

    - When the Ewings are talking about Bobby's new position at the office, there's a butt-ugly white statue of a dog in the livingroom right at the foot of the sofa. Two questions: where in heck's name did it come from? And who amongst the cast or crew has this crazy thing about dogs all of a sudden?

    - I'm trying to think back in my timeline here to remember what point Victoria Principal's relationship with Andy Gibb was at. She seems quite unnerved in this episode. During her first argument with Bobby, as he leaves her, you can see her hands shaking visibly. At the end of the episode, she almost seemed like she was going to convulse. [Fortunately, she spared us the patented smile-cry.] Good acting or serious emotional disturbance? The stories I have heard lead me to believe that a lot of her conversations with Andy went this way.

    Val reminds me

    that they didn't meet until 1981. My bad.

    - At the end of the episode, when Bobby meets Pam out on the porch, Bobby says he was planning to go and have dinner with Ray and Donna. In the scene prior to this, we see the Ewings [minus Pam and Lucy] in the livingroom, preparing for dinner. Bobby walked over to the dining room with them. Didn't he eat? Is he hungry again already? Very odd.

    From Drew Peterson:

    - When Bobby first visits Pam at the office, she says she is too busy getting the spring fashion line ready to go out.  Then later, Jock and Miss Ellie are outside and Miss Ellie complains about it being cold and Jock says winter is coming.

    - After Pam comes home late and has her argument with J.R we see that she parked right in front of the garage.  The next morning we see J.R's car and Sue Ellens "grocery getter" in the place where the vette should be.

    - If Donna and Ray want to get married once Ray's house is built in six months why didn't Donna just say "yes".  Once their engaged they can decide on however long they want to wait to get married.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: True, but if Donna said yes then she'd pretty much have to be a regular from here on in. And that costs money which the producers don't have at this point.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Just a note-  Sure have a lot of TNN style cuts in the first 15 minutes.  I could tell by the abrupt changes in music.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Definitely. This happened yesterday too.

    - At the bar, Ray orders another round of drinks BEFORE they even start to drink their first round.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think he plans on getting Donna good and drunk.

    - WOW, this is a change from later on. DONNA tells RAY that she WOULDN'T work long hours if she was with him.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That'll last about as long as a Pam mood swing.

    - Ray says good morning to Sue Ellen and she doesn't have a hissy fit about not being called "Mrs. Ewing".  Also, I love it how she always whines to Elby about men using her and she NEVER talks about how she totally used Ray when she had the urge to form the "Beast with two Backs".

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed the exchange of hellos too and thought the same thing. The latter point is a good one but I think at this point the writers want us to believe that Ray hasn't slept with ANY woman who lives in the ranch house right now.

    - Teresa #4 wears a yellow uniform.  Usually they wear blue or maybe black at Southfork.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Must be her first day. Hopefully her last.

    - The end credits were whacked.   They go through the usual production stuff, then Susan Howard as Donna,  THEN SPECIAL GUEST STAR, then ALSO STARRING. Usually there is a title to introduce the end credits..... For example, Susan should have been SPECIAL GUEST STAR or ALSO STARRING.  (I know, this may be a contract thing.. but it bugs me..)

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's definitely contract and it is really weird.

    - By the way, where the heck has Mrs. Reeves been?  She missed John Ross's cries AGAIN today.  (We should tote this.  It makes Jenna look responsible by comparison.)

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think Sue Ellen probably doesn't want her around any more. Good for Sue Ellen.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Check out the close talking between Sue Ellen and Bobby at the beginning of the episode.  Must have been pretty gross since they both have morning breath.

    - How does Bobby know what the head buyer job at the Store entails?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, given that Pam is an assistant buyer, I'm sure she's talked about all of the things that Liz has to do.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Why would adopting make Pam feel more guilty, but spending all her time at the store doesn't?  And Bobby has to be faulted here too.  Pam's not an executive, but she's not just a clerk.  He barges in and claims anyone can do her job demanding to go to dinner etc.  Pam would never do this to him, but his work hasn't been so demanding lately.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I have to take issue with that last statement. Pam WILL do this to him, and it won't be long. And though we may have to agree to disagree [this is an argument which falls across gender lines] I think Bobby is completely validated here. Pam is just avoiding dealing with the real issue, just like she always does.

    - When JR is trying to talk Jock into having Bobby come back to the office, the clock behind him reads 3:50.  Their conversation takes almost 2 minutes, but the clock doesn't change.

    - Jock tells Ellie: "We've still got each other."  And she replies: "Not like we used to."  If anything, Jock is around much more now than when the boys were young, and he seems to be a much better husband than before.  What exactly is her gripe?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I have no idea. I really don't understand what Ellie's getting at here...let me think about it.

    - Fenton says the body had a bullet hole in his skull, so of course, he has to point to his own forehead.  Man, that's good acting.  Fortunately Barry Corbin improved by the time he got to *Northern Exposure*.

    - When JR tells Harrison about his percentage in the Asian deal, it's dubbed. It looks like he originally said 10% instead of 1%.  Looks like *The Store* (what a dopey name) isn't such a major player.

    AHN Matt's corner:

    - Donna Culver had the spirit of Marilee Stone in her today when she was in Ray's truck and said , "Come on Cowboy."  It seemed like a line stolen from Debbie Does Dallas.  I was expecting Ron Jeremy to hop in the pickup and go for it with Donna.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought so too! That was the last thing I expected. I figured they would just do it in the truck. What a great pick-up line! "I need to have sex with you right now, Donna." "Okay."

    - Jock said that "It's quiet around here tonight, even Lucy's out."  Which implies that it is strange for her not to be at home.  Sorry, but Lucy is probably the most likely to be out late at night, except for JR.

    - When Bobby was at the bar with Ray and Donna he only had ONE sip of his beer.  Who pays for this?  Hopefully Donna Krebbs Oil has an expense account to cover the bill.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Donna Krebbs Oil isn't even a gleam in someone's eye yet. Ray said to put it on his tab.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Pam threw the tan empty purse on the bed after her conversation with J.R.  She carried a black empty purse during her fight with Bobby.

    - I think the prop department need to do some shopping for some new bedding.  J.R. & Sue Ellen, Bobby & Pam and Ray and Donna all had the SAME sheets during this episode.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I hope they were washed in between sets.

    - Pam said that Baby John woke her up and when she got to the nursery Sue Ellen was already there.  Wait a minute, Pam had her work awfully spread out for being woken up by Baby John.  We saw Sue Ellen go to the nursery and Bobby barely had a chance to get downstairs.  Bobby and Pam's conversation also seemed abruptly cut off during this scene.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I suspect there were other cuts before this...probably it took Sue Ellen a while to calm John Ross down.

    - Bobby left nearly a full plate of food at breakfast when Ray mentioned he needed a ride.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He must think he's a Ewing grandchild.

    - Does Jock sit in the office all day and work in his hat?  It sure seemed that way.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He can sit there in his underwear if he wants. [Ugh..what an image]. He's DA MAN.

    - When Bobby mentioned the idea of adoption to Jock, he told him that they should give it some time and have a real 'Ewing'.  Good thing he wasn't around when Pam's uggie-wuggie Christopher came around, that could've been trouble.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Ooh..hadn't thought of that. Good point.

    - J.R. called Jock 'dad' again today.  Does he only begin calling him 'daddy' AFTER his death?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Occasionally he does call him "daddy" now. After his death, it's almost exclusively "daddy", which is why I picked up on the fact that it's different now.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Normally, I would criticize Bobby for another temper tantrum but Pam's behavior is so frustrating I'm kind of disappointed he didn't whop her one upside the head to try and knock some sense into her. It's not like he doesn't try earlier in the show, when in two minutes of brilliance he does a better job of psychoanalyzing and providing solutions to Pam than Dr. Elby has done for Sue Ellen in months. Maybe Bobby and Cliff should open a psychiatrists' practice. They shouldn't have any problem stealing Elby's patients away.

    - Jock's sartorial habits are a little strange. Not only does he have a pinky ring but he wears his cowboy hat at his desk at Ewing Oil, which is definitely against protocol for cowboy hat wearers. He wears a blue suit that day in the office, but when he talks to Bobby that night over drinks at Southfork he's wearing a different suit. Bobby is definitely wearing a different shirt and tie than he wore that day in the office. The sportcoat I'm not sure about. But then the next day in the office, Jock is wearing the same blue suit he wore the day before.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: This is really strange. I hadn't considered the cowboy hat thing.

    - In the bar scene, Ray orders a second round of drinks despite the fact nobody has touched the first round. This enables Bobby to set a Dallas record by leaving TWO untouched drinks on the table when he departs after a few minutes. I notice Donna is now drinking white wine in the same cowboy bar where she snared Ray by drinking beer and whisky chasers. I guess she figures she's go him hooked at those. Watch out, Ray! The next thing to go will be the wild sex. Was that a hotel where she and Ray were in bed or was it just Sam Culver's house, which looks like a hotel from the outside?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Hard to say. Given what a wild woman Donna is right now, I'd say it's probably in Sam's bed with his picture tacked on the headboard.

    - Elby, by the way, gets my Angelica for that really ugly combo of powder blue slacks with dark brown jacket and tie. He looked like the top half of one person's body had been welded to the bottom half of someone else's.

    - Are we really supposed to believe that all the movers and shakers in Dallas go to a restaurant where the waitresses wear French maid's outfits?

    Episode 45: Power Play

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Kristin to JR [or anyone else for that matter] "Have I been too easy?"

    Pam Award:

    Serena doesn't look like a slut, so my vote goes to her.

    Angelica Award:

    This guy. I was going to try and put his outfit into words, but figured I'd never be able to.

    45-thisguy.jpg (15217 bytes)

    Bobby Award:

    Alan's chest.

    April Award:


    - Boy, John Ross is growing up fast. He's only what...15 episodes old? Give me a break! Remember, he was born premature. Now it's only been a few months and he's as big as a 1-year-old! He's able to sit in his high chair [awfully cute, by the way] and hold his head up...must be something in the Southfork water.

    - The long-haired Theresa is chosen for border-crossing duty for this episode. I guess Raoul learned he has a thing for long hair. My new theory: I'm not sure, but I think today was the fake Southfork, which means we're in California. And of course, there's no way the producers are going to fly the fake Theresa to the fake Southfork.

    - Cliff is either very stubborn or very dumb or both. Who in the heck ever heard of throwing a campaign party at a roller disco? This is ridiculous! 16 and 17 year old people don't vote...what's the point of laying out money on them? A campaign party should be a $100 a plate dinner or something like that, and you should invite people with money, not teenagers looking for a good time on wheels. There are only two explanations, both of which are pretty lame: either Cliff really believes in this 'grassroots' support thing, which makes him a stubborn moron because he tried that before and failed; or somebody led him to believe that this was a good idea [perhaps it was Alan] in which case he's just a moron.

    - JR manages to get his cushy parking spot right in front of Ewing Oil.

    - Kristin must not have a lot to do at the office any more. When Alan comes to Ewing Oil and she shows him in, her hair is a total mess. Then when he leaves, it's all done up again. She must have a wonderbrush.

    - I got one word for the Boboski: contraception.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - So Bobby and Pam went to the club with Ray and Donna. OK maybe Pam is just trying to appease Bobby, but what happened with the big decision about the job?  If she took it, would she have time for this excursion?  Later Bobby just says she's working late, so are we to assume she did take the job?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yup.

    - When Bobby can't sleep, Pam says, "Anything I can do?"  It seems what she meant was she'd fix him some warm milk.  I guess she's afraid she might become pregnant.  If she's so determined not to have a child, shouldn't they be talking about having her tubes tied or a vasectomy for him?  Yeah, I know.  It would just make her feel more guilty.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Hey, I've got a crazy idea. Hop down to the damn drugstore and buy some Sheik, Bob!

    - An oil company as successful as Ewing Oil could certainly spring for a better coffee maker than a Bunn.  And they shouldn't have that cheesy little tray with styrofoam cups and plastic stirrers.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Were there really better options then? I don't remember.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Donna answered the door at her hotel wearing lingerie.  Then she sat down with her attorney to sign some papers without excusing herself to change in to something a little more appropriate.  Then Ray left her alone in the hotel room with her attorney!  This was all very strange.  First, how many attorneys would make house calls, second, who would sit around with their attorney wearing lingerie, third WHY would Ray leave them alone?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Donna seems to be a revolving door lately. I don't get it.

    - I think I've finally figured out what Kristin does all day at the office, her hair.   Three separate times during this episode Kristin's hair changed between J.R.'s office and her desk. The first was during the first scene while she was on the phone with J.R. When she talked to him, her hair was pulled back in barrettes, when she walked out to find Alan in the lobby, the barrettes were gone.  The next time was when she gave J.R. the pictures of Lucy and Alan.  In his office, her hair was down, and quite curly.  When Alan kissed her at her desk, her hair was pulled back in barrettes, and it was straighter.  Finally, while she was on the phone with Serena, he hair was pulled back in the barrettes again.  When she walked in to J.R.'s office, her hair was down again.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes! I noticed this too. Weird.

    - Besides the fact the Cliff's Roller Disco party was completely lame, and would be more appropriate as an eleven year-olds birthday party rather than for a potential congressman, I can't believe they were serving ALCOHOL!  Digger and Cliff walked past a full bar.   I used to roller skate a lot growing up and none of the rinks I ever went to had a bar in them.  I doubt they even had a liquor license since roller rinks are geared to high school kids and younger.  If the rink didn't have a liquor license, the wouldn't even be allowed to have liquor on the premises.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Excellent point. Maybe they made an exception for a private party but it's still ridiculous.

    - Cliff introduces Digger to the crowd by saying "This is my daddy".  How lame!!!  He could've at least said "This is my father, Willard (Digger) Barnes".

    - A little variation within the costuming department would've been nice during this episode.  Kristin and Connie both wore dark red blouses in the office at the same time.  Later, they both work royal blue blouses at the same time.  Connie had a vest and jacket over hers, all that was visible was the collar.  Here's another piece to that.  When Kristin was on the phone with Serena, the scene cut to Connie wearing the same royal blue blouse and vest again, and this was a different day!!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Totally missed it. The office is so gloomy it's hard to noticed these things.

    - There must be a revolving door on Alan's bed. Betty Lou in the morning, Lucy in the evening.  The guy must be exhausted.  I doubt he had time to change the sheets let alone wash them.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And I bet he likes it like that.

    - Alan must keep Ewing hours.  When J.R. called and he was with Betty Lou, J.R. told him he wanted to see him in his office in a half an hour.  When they were talking in J.R.'s office, presumable a half an hour later, the clock read 10:50.  So that would mean Alan and Betty Lou were having their little rendez-vous at around 10:15, 10:20.   Yet J.R. knew to find him at home?  He should've tried the office, or Cliff's campaign headquarters or something.  Then when he found him at home he should've told him once again not to have 'fun' on his money!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I have no idea what being a campaign manager entails, but this does seem rather weird.

    - When Bobby walked over and laid on the bed with Pam, the room looked much too light for the middle of the night.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Did you think so? I couldn't tell.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Keenan Wynn has moved from Special Guest Star in the end credits to Also Starring in the opening guest credits.  Contract, of course, but worth noting.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's a mid-season renegotiation! The first, I think.

    - I never noticed this before but Mary Crosby has a lazy eye. Also what color are her eyes?  I thought they were brown but today they looked blue.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not sure. I'll have to look closer.

    - Some of those "teenagers" at Cliff's Roller Party sure looked old.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Like leg-warmer dude?

    - The camera that Kristin buys looks like all but one of its flash bulbs are burned out.   We see her take one shot inside but later she shows JR several, one of which was taken outside. There is no way she could get a picture to come out outside at night with no flash.

    - I wouldn't take any coffee that Kristin makes when she is in a huff. She probably would spike it with Drano.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That's not really her style - that's Jessica. But I'm sure your warning is a good one.

    Episode 46: Paternity Suit

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Cliff: " protect this state we love, Texas."
    (He should have said, 'to protect Texas, this state we love.' As it is, this makes his supporters look stupid like he has to remind them which state they're in.)

    Pam Award:

    Just about all the women at the cocktail party looked good. Hard to pick just one.

    Angelica Award:

    Sue Ellen's "Michelin Tire Man" fur and painted-on reddish-brown pants.

    Bobby Award:

    Bobby at the office.

    April Award:


    - This is a bit on the grungy side, but the camera guy during Cliff's television broadcast cues him as follows: he says, "'re on" . This is not how it's done. The '1' is supposed to be silent; that's just protocol and isn't that important. But certainly no television worker would say 'You're on' as the cameras start rolling...the sound could be picked up! You're supposed to just point at the person who's supposed to speak. Considering that this is a TV show within a TV show, this was a pretty pathetic oversight.

    - When Sue Ellen returns to the ranch after her romp with Dusty, she doesn't have her overnight bag. Did she leave it in the car? Odd.

    - Jock drives JR home in JR's own car. Jeepers. Has he sunk this low?

    - Digger answers the door when the guy delivers the papers for Sue Ellen's countersuit to him. Legally, the guy is supposed to ask for Cliff specifically, hand it to him, and say 'consider yourself served'. The only reason the producers wouldn't do this is to save themselves from having to pay an extra to talk.

    - Harve drove all the way to Southfork to give the Ewings the papers for Cliff's lawsuit? Why would he not rather do this at Ewing Oil during normal business hours, especially since the participants gather there later to initiate the countersuit anyway?

    - Marilee and Linda walk away from Lucy and Ellie with their arms linked. What's up with that?

    - JR must eat lots of bananas. After giving blood at the doctor's office, even though the doctor tells him to hold some cotton to his arm, he gets up immediately, buttons up his sleeve and puts on his suit jacket. Has his blood clotted already?

    - I should perhaps think of starting an abandoned John Ross meter. Who is watching him during the cocktail party?

    - In typical Ewing fashion, even though there are a lot of people waiting in the office to see Dr. Miles, JR and Sue Ellen are rushed to the front of the line. Must be nice being a Ewing. I bet they even found a nice parking spot right in front of the main entrance.

    - I had lots of trouble with the second brief episode when JR and Sue Ellen go to Dr. Miles' office for the 'better' paternity tests. First of all, where is John Ross? Shouldn't the doctor need some more of his blood too in order to have enough samples? Second of all, why, oh, why, does Sue Ellen need to give blood? There is no question that she is John Ross's mother. There is absolutely no reason for her blood to be involved in this testing. Not even genetic testing.

    - Why exactly is Alan Beam at the Southfork cocktail party? I understand he's supposedly Lucy's fiance now but JR is still putting on the act of despising him because he's working for Cliff. What gives?

    - Tim Raymond pointed out something I can't believe I missed. Why does the doctor perform the first blood test if all he wants to find out is what blood type JR, Cliff, and John Ross have? This information is easily found in medical records. In the real world, the doctor would have checked a few hospital files, find the information to be inconclusive, and then immediately called for the 'better' tests. But of course, the writers in the Dallas world need to create some suspense and fill fifty television minutes, so the doctor has to act dumb for a while.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    - Cliff sure made up that very natural sounding speech quickly! You'd think he'd be an emotional wreck after what Alan just told him but he's able to put on a great public face. Wow, Cliff...maybe you were born for politics.

    - Digger is drinking again when Cliff comes home to find the reporter there. Shouldn't Cliff be concerned about this? Maybe he's just being polite while Debra's in the room, but you'd think Cliff might say or do something to express his concern.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - That white porcelain dog gets around.  Today he's sitting next to Ellie's chair actually listening to Cliff's broadcast.

    - The newspaper reporter first looks to see if Cliff's there before she asks for Mr. Barnes.  Digger actually thinks she's there to see him?  In a surprised voice he says, "Oh, you want to see my son."

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Hard to say. Maybe he thinks she's from Al-Anon.

    - First I thought Miss Ellie was rather rude to give this last minute invitation to Marilee and Linda, but it's actually a good slam.  She says, "We invited a few friends..." meaning she didn't consider them good enough friends to be included originally.  Marilee says how much her husband will enjoy it, but no one at the party comments on the fact that he doesn't attend.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He might have been hanging around unseen.

    - Sue Ellen's black dress is barely more of a cover than one of her nightgowns.  This is a bit too slutty considering the scandal.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes! How do women wear these kind of dresses? I a guy, I know how difficult it is to keep your body parts where you want them sometimes. But wearing a dress like this - geez, don't you feel like you're on a pogo stick or something?

    - Old Jordan Lee is going to be a father?  Since we never see his wife, I think she's probably secretly off with the other enigma, Seth Stone.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He mentions that his wife is Sara [Sara Lee? Tee-hee.] and she may be much younger than he is. Of course, by Season 11 he'll be with some woman named Evelyn.

    - Boy, Harve Smithfield is really having a good time being able to get Cliff. Harve is having way too much fun at this and that overly dramatic pause in revealing the blood test results at the party.

    - Digger is stirring soup when Cliff comes in and then walks toward him with that spoon dripping all over the floor.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Sue Ellen and JR walk up stairs together and head to the nursery. On the way up, she must stop and rebrush her hair, since the part is totally different.

    - No one offers poor Harve a cup of coffee when he comes to Southfork to give the family some important news at breakfast.  How rude.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: True, but what the heck was he doing there at breakfast? Couldn't this have waited for an hour or two until everyone got to the office and business hours started?

    - Is John Ross starting to babble now?  He is only 18 episodes, maybe 6 months old.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: The way he's growing, he's going to begin cursive writing next week.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Pam left the cocktail party to go over and console Cliff? This was very strange. I wonder how the Bob-man felt showing up at the DOA dinner flying solo?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Given the way Pam has acted lately, I'm sure Bobby is getting used to doing a LOT of things solo.

    - Sue Ellen carried the empty purse when she went to J.R.'s office.

    Episode 47: Jenna's Return

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett and Sara]

    > JR: "I wouldn't be surprised if the first WORD this child learns IS, 'Where's Momma?'"
    (So I guess that word is "wheresmomma")

    Pam Award:

    Pam's red dress in the first fifteen minutes.

    Angelica Award:

    Tie between Jock's eyeglass frames and Donna's puffy brooch at the party.

    Bobby Award:

    Pam's hair in Paris.

    April Award:

    I'd say JR for not hiring a PI if he's so interested in what Sue Ellen is doing.

    Sue Ellen's "I'm not ready" meter:

    1. Tells Dusty she's not ready to leave JR yet.

    - It's amazing that Bobby or Pam even recognize Jenna Wade...she's stopped bleaching her hair, her voice is deeper, and her plastic surgeon is a marvel. He's going to rearrange her face again in a few years, you know. [Just kidding. Francine Tacker replaces the lovely Morgan Fairchild as Jenna Wade, and in a few seasons Priscilla Presley will take over for Francine.]

    - One that's been bandied about a lot on the newsgroup is Jenna and Charlie's relationship with Charlie's father, Naldo Marchetta. When we see Charlie again in a few seasons, she'll have no knowledge of Naldo at all. Yet in this episode we see her heading to Rome to be with him and his family, and Jenna mentions that she's on good terms with Naldo and Charlie knows about him. A major inconsistency in the plot line.

    - About the continued confusion over whether Bobby is Charlie's father:

    Kristin put it best:

    " Somebody has probably already mentioned this, but it has always been one of my peeves about "Dallas"-- whether or not Bobby is Charlie's father.  It was established in the episode where Morgan Fairchild played Jenna (in the first season) that he isn't.  In the episode that aired today Jenna had told Bobby that she just put Charlie on a plane to Italy to see Naldo.  Yet in the 1983-84 season Jenna is evasive as to whether Bobby is Charlie's father. This even leads to their breaking up temporarily. We're not supposed to remember back to the first season that Jenna admitted Bobby isn't Charlie's father!!"

    - Why is Pam surprised about Harrison inviting her to go to Paris? Last year, Liz Craig, the head buyer at the time, said it was time for the Paris trip and she wanted Pam to accompany her. Clearly this is an annual thing...did Pam not get a clear outline of the job description?

    - Some egregious plot trickery which is so blatant that it's so easy to miss. In fact I did until I read ahead in the summaries a bit. JR wonders where Sue Ellen is spending her time, not to mention with whom. So why the heck doesn't he hire a private investigator to track her?

    - Not a nit, just a really bothered me how every woman on the show between the ages of 21 and 35 seemed to wear nothing but red outfits. Pam, Donna, Jenna...even the waitresses at the Longhorn. What gives?

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Donna is a night person and Ray is a day person?  Well, maybe now that Donna is in her "Put it here, cowboy" stage, we can try to forget how tame she gets in later years.  (I like this wild side to her.)

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I do too but frankly it's not enough. She's still kind of whiny.

    - I am not sure exactly how much time has passed since #46 but I thought Sue Ellen and Dusty decided to cool it for a while.  Yet they are not and heavy today.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I was certain that this episode was also slated to air earlier than we are seeing, but I think the writers did a fairly good job of mixing it in. This is one slip-up for sure, though.

    - Watch Lucy's hair at breakfast. When she is talking to Jock, it looks curly, then after JR bad-mouths his buddy Alan, it looks a bit straighter.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - In bed Pam is reading William Russell's *The American Vision*.  I guess she wants something dry to put her to sleep.  Bobby's book, however, has a plain brown jacket.   I wonder if this is some smutty little Harlequin Romance.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, since he's not getting any REAL romance, I guess he has to be content with reading about it.

    - I hate to utter these words, but it seems Devlin and the Mimosa Park project would best be handled by the Office of Land Management.  They had the ability to put the brakes on some of Bobby's projects, so why is this being handled by the DOA?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It seemed to me that the Office of Land Management was somewhat inappropriately named - they seemed to deal primarily with natural resources and rural land use. I'd bet they don't have much control over city zoning and what not. But in the real world, there wouldn't be anything as lame as the OLM.

    - Pam should have seen something coming.  In movieland, three nuns walking through an airport is always a bad omen.

    - Man, could there be any more red flags for Donna and Ray's relationship?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Nope. Every woman today was wearing red, so I don't think there could be any more.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Andy and Roy are such good friends with Ray that they will never be seen or heard from again.

    - "Just the thought of Matt Devlin makes me lose my temper," Miss Ellie says without a trace of anger in her voice

    - Do Sue Ellen and Dusty discuss anything other than Sue Ellen's past failed romances?   It's getting weird...

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No, they don't do anything else. I assumed at one point that occasionally they made love, but now I'm beginning to wonder.

    - I thought Pam's sudden demand that Bobby drive her to the airport even though they were in the middle of a big fight was strange until I realized that Pam read the script and saw that Bobby had to meet Jenna there.  I'm sure the writers could have come up with a more realistic way for Bobby and Jenna to meet if they had just given it another five minutes.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I wondered about this too...yes, it's an obvious plot device. But does Pam have NO other reason to ask Bobby to take her there? Maybe she doesn't want to take her car, maybe she doesn't want to take a, none of this is reasonable. Classic plot trick. Well reasoned.

    - Lucy's going to a rock concert in the middle of the afternoon?  What kind of rock concert starts in the afternoon and ends in time for Lucy to go out to dinner with her friends?  Elton John would never start his concert that early, and we all know that he's Lucy's favorite (although that was last season, when she slept with Ray).

    - When Sue Ellen was talking to Dusty, she held the phone receiver way under her hair and also behind her hair.  Must have been pretty difficult to hear mumbling Dusty that way.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Dusty kerchief meter: four different shirt and kerchief ensembles. Geez even the top-billed stars on this show rarely get four wardrobe changes in one show! Jared Martin must have some pretty embarrassing pictures of soembody high up on "Dallas" or CBS. Once again though the wardrobe people mismatch brown (kerchief) with blue (shirt).

    - Weird. Dusty's apartment building has trees on the roof.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: He's supposed to be in a hotel - I don't know if that excuses it.

    - If Harrison Page is rich enough to get in on JR's Asian oil deal, how come he can't afford a dental plan at The Store that will get that gap in his front teeth fixed?

    - Suddenly Raoul is serving the buffet breakfast (two different ones in this episode). Where were all the Teresa's who have been doing this duty up till this point? Was there a Teresa's union convention somewhere?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I suppose there is. Or maybe Raoul was especially randy last night and decided to have a Theresa orgy, wearing them all out.

    - Speaking of the kid, how long before mom Sue Ellen realizes that stuff she's putting on his gums for teething pain has alcohol in it and starts taking a nip or two?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It could be Anbesol or something - I use it myself and it's alcohol-free [I think].

    - In the picnic scene it is blatantly obvious that Jenna's long hair is fake. She's blonde on top and the long stuff is clearly brown.

    - Why is Pam wearing that humongous fur coat at the airport when everyone else's dress around her indicates it's not cold? The best part of the airport scene was the bozo couple dressed in aloha shirts and leis where the husband ogles some young chick who passes by and the wife yanks him to attention.

    - At the DOA fundraiser, the second man Sue Ellen talks to is badly dubbed over to say something about how odd it is to see JR at the affair.

    - Pam gets a perm when she gets to Paris.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And an awful one it is. I have a feeling VP was in makeup or something and they just quickly asked her to shoot a scene before she was ready.

    - When Ray and Donna have their little tiff at the end, Donna appears to be having a flash forward to the dream season and the deaf mute boy they want to adopt. She asks Ray in halted speech with much pointing and hand signals "Do you (shakes her hands and points to her chest and then pauses)"

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought so too! That was so weird! I thought I'd let it pass, but since you noticed it too it bears mention.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Southfork must be large enough to have different weather depending on where you are at the time.  When the family is eating breakfast and Pam asked Bobby to take her to the airport, no one was wearing a coat. Yet a scene or two later when Bobby and Ray were driving in the truck (before Bobby took Pam to the airport) they were both wearing coats.   Not just light jackets either, Bobby had on a sheep skin coat with fur lining.   Hard to believe there'd be such a difference in the weather between one section of Southfork and another.

    - Donna and Ray walked in to the bar and Ray ordered a white wine with a draft beer.   Then Donna turned around and said make it a LARGE white wine.  Huh? I've never once heard of a bar or restaurant offering sizes on alcoholic beverages, this sounded very out of place. Next thing you know, she'll ask them to super-size the pretzels!

    Episode 48: Sue Ellen's Choice

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Donna to Jock: "It's about Ray.....Ray Krebbs." (as opposed to Ray Charles?)

    Pam Award:

    Donna's mauve outfit at Ray's place.

    Angelica Award:

    Sue Ellen's coat from the roadkill collection.

    Bobby Award:

    Jenna's wacky dos.

    April Award:

    Sue Ellen for thinking she could leave Southfork with her child.

    Sue Ellen's "I'm not ready" meter:

    Says she needs time to think about leaving JR.

    - When Pam arrives home from Paris, after chatting with Lucy and Ellie, she says she's going to unpack her things and heads into the house. Wait a minute - isn't her luggage still out at the cab?

    Jason points out that Raoul appears to be bringing it in.

    - Why is it that Ray and Bobby don't play racquetball at "The Racquet Club", which we saw in Episode 25, but "Racquetball West"? Better beer afterwards?

    - Yet again Pam is referred to as a "fighter" - this time by Ray. Well, maybe in bed...but when else, other than the minor exception of the mini-series, has Pam ever "fought" for or against anything? As I've pointed out before, Pam spends 90% of her time avoiding conflict and the other 10% avoiding reality. 

    - When she returns to Southfork, Pam's hair is unpermed. Those are some miraculous curlers!

    - When Bobby meets Jenna, he's in a ragged shirt and even more ragged jeans which he's been wearing since yesterday. This looks like a pretty decent restaurant - would they let him in like this? Or did he say, "Look, pal, I'm Bobby Ewing..."

    From Bill Withrow:

    I am surprised that Donna would have gone to Jock for help with her relationship with Ray. Just a short time ago, she refused to help Jock with his problem regarding the OLM. Jock didn't exactly owe her one.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess Jock didn't take it personally. That's a good point.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    - One thing that seemed odd to me, was:  Pam arrives from the airport wearing a fur coat, Donna goes to visit Jock, and is wearing a fur coat. I would think that this implies "WINTER".  However, Lucy is quite comfortable in her bathing suit, sitting by the pool.  Maybe it is because of all the fat that she has. 

    HNP Ahmer Responds: [OUCH!]

    Another thing... I wonder how Donna knew that Jock was back at Ewing Oil!  I doubt that she would phone the ranch to bother anyone, so maybe it was just a clever hunch.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Preach on, Brother Todd! I'd just like to add that it's not the first time we've seen weather-inappropriate dressing on DALLAS. Fur coats seem to always be in season.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Cliff says something to Pam about him having symptoms of "that disease thing" but she doesn't.  Is this a plot twist I missed?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I wasn't quite sure what he meant by this. Nothing comes of it, that's for certain.

    - Pam has an empty purse at Cliff's. Donna has one at Jock's office. Sue Ellen has one when she goes to see Dusty. This may be the same purse.

    - Oh my.  A Dallas first. When Bobby and Ray drink beer at the club, Bobby FINISHES the drink he ordered. Ray made a noteworthy attempt to polish his off too.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No..wait a minute. When Bobby got up, his mug was half full! I'll check this again.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Ray - backgammon now racquetball.  No self-respecting cowboy plays these games. At least he and Bobby had a beer after their match and didn't hit the juice bar.

    - Pam, good job "helping Cliff clean up the apartment" by throwing the magazines on the sofa.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Making him feel at home, I guess.

    - Finally someone suggests Pam should see Dr. Elby.  Bobby should have at least suggested some kind of counseling before this.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I bet you he did but do you think Pam would listen to him?

    - Sue Ellen takes off her big old diamond as a little toy for Baby John. She doesn't put it back on and turns around to confront JR.  She'd better have a tight grip on that sucker, or they'll be hoping it passes out through his diaper.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Jason notes that this a really neat juxtaposition of symbols: the only two things that signify that JR and Sue Ellen are married. And now she risks losing both of them.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Pam said Bobby was going to leave her.  That's kind of strange since she's living in HIS house.  I know she meant it figuratively, but it was still kind of strange.   In fact, she should've been the one to leave and spend the night in the hotel, not Bobby.  He is definitely a gentleman.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: For sure. This is more than anyone should have to put up with.

    - Dusty seemed like he was reading his lines during the scene in which he asked Sue Ellen to marry him. All of his sentences seemed to have the same monotone sound to them as if he were staring at cue cards or something.

    - During the scene when Pam and Bobby had their talk on the bed, Pam had this dumbfounded look on her face. It was almost as if VP had forgotten her next line or something.

    - John Ross is spending way too much time in the crib, it's not even healthy.  He's quite large for 18 episodes.  I would think a child of this size would be much more active than this, at least sitting up.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: They've made him lazy. A shame.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Ray and Bobby are really bonding. Both are wearing nearly matching shirts from the Ray Krebbs "cowboy collection" after racquetball. Bobby's shirt particularly gets some mileage in this epsiode. He wears it that night at Southfrok and then to the office the next day. When he returns to SF from the office that night, he tells Pam he's only home to change clothes. I would thnink so, after two days in that shirt! Maybe with all the Teresa's out of town, no laundry is getting done at SF.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess that's a good a reason as any. I figure he was warned at that restaurant where he met Jenna not to show up like that again.

    - Dusty kerchiefs - two. However I was astounded to see that Dusty does not wear a kerchief to bed for sex with Sue Ellen. He was clearly putting it back on while dressing after their fun night.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I can just imagine it..."Dusty?" "Yeah?" "Put the scarf on..."

    - What an odd conversation between Bobby and Jenna. Both say things normal, intelligent men and women don't say to one another if they want to preserve their relationship. Bobby tells Jenna he was just trying to use her for sex. Jenna admits she's bedded countless men with no protest but turned Bobby down.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It was very odd, but I'm not surprised. The writers really had to strain here. Their whole point was to tell us a tale of three relationships going sour, and I think some editor read the script and said, "Guys, I don't know what you're trying to say here." So the writers had to throw in a lot of expository dialogue which really belongs in the category of saying the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.

    - Though I'm not a big Donna fan, I have to admit she looked pretty good in that tight top and pants outfit in Jock's office.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I agree, but I liked that hot little purple outfit better. Susan Howard looks great in a knee-length skirt...I wish someone would have told her that.

    - Special mention goes to that outstanding black low-cut dress Pam wore towards the end of the show. Yum!.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Very yummy, I agree. I think we've seen it before, though.

    Episode 49: Second Thoughts

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Jason]

    > Cliff says that he has a track record as long as his arm.. or something like that... HUH?  I have heard of criminal records being long.   Usually track records are quality, not length.

    Pam Award:

    Betty Lou for lack of anyone better.

    Angelica Award:

    Pam's "Little house on the prairie" style conservative School Marm dress.

    Bobby Award:


    April Award:

    Sue Ellen for telling JR about her plan.

    - Just a thought that occurred to me. Lucy wing Beam...I just don't see it.

    - Why in the world is Lucy doing her reading in the livingroom? Especially since she knows she's not going to get a moment's peace there? Clearly she's really involved in Madame Bovary, if for no other reason than to be able tomorrow to casually turn towards Dr. Forrester, wearing yet another blouse open to her navel, bring her hands up to outline the curve of her bosom, and try to hide her case of the screaming thighs by making an intelligent statement about the book.

    - And speaking of the literature class: that class has more meaningless psychobabble than Dr. Elby's office. In med school, we came up with a term for this kind of twaddle: intellectual masturbation.

    - Harve Smithfield retiring? This is the first [and last] I've heard about it. Must be a rumor that JR cooked up because Harve remains the Ewings' attorney until the end of the series run!

    - Jock wears the rather un-DA MAN-like gold chain again.

    - I've pointed this out before and I wasn't absolutely sure I was right, but now I am. JR and Alan Beam are still supposed to hate each other, at least in public. Alan was at the cocktail party that the Ewings gave just before they found out who John Ross's real father was, and I questioned this because JR should have made a fuss about his being there.
    The only explanation I have is that Jock and Ellie have at least asked him to be civil to Alan because he's Lucy's fiancé. Okay, fine, so JR promises to act civil. But when Jock tells Alan that he's going to make him a partner in Smithfield Bennett, JR congratulates him like he would his own son! If he really hated Alan, he would maybe just shake his hand and say 'Congrulations', not put his arm around him and offer him a drink! Even Alan points out, when he talks with JR at his apartment, that they are still supposed to be enemies.
    The real nit here is that NOBODY seems to notice JR's sudden change of heart towards Alan- especially Lucy. Shouldn't Lucy jump up and ask why JR is suddenly so happy about Alan joining the family? Or if she's just spaced out, shouldn't Sue Ellen notice? She's usually very perceptive about these things. This is a blatant oversight by the writers.

    - When Lucy and Alan have their 'breakup' dinner, they walk out of the restaurant just as the waitress who was serving them wanders past them, looking around at the tables. Shouldn't the waitress be concerned about why her patrons are suddenly leaving the restaurant? If I were her, I'd want to know if I got paid, or if the food was bad, or whatever.

    - Monday's Child pointed out the following:

    I can't help but think that Sue Ellen was extremely stupid to come right out and tell JR her little plan to take the baby and leave after she had established herself as the perfect wife and mother.  Did she really think that he would sit idly by and LET her?  Sheesh.  She should have played her little charade with him also, letting him think that everything was just hunky-dory. Then, when she felt the time was right and she would have a chance in court she could hit him with a divorce.  Surprise is always the best element of any attack.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Heartily agreed. But the whole point of this storyline is for Sue Ellen to job to JR, so that she comes out smarter for the experience. At least, I think so.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    -  When has JR ever referred to Ewing Oil as "Ewing Enterprises"?  I figure that is the corporate name for the whole Ewing conglomeration, but JR always calls his business "Ewing Oil" as usually heard on the show.  Strange. Yes it is. I suspect that JR may mean 'enterprises' in general, with a lowercase 'E'. However, you are right that he always refers to the family business as Ewing Oil. It is odd to hear him use the word 'enterprises', whatever the context.

    - JR, Bobby and Gary (when he is around) call Miss Ellie "Mama".  This is understandable, for she is their kin.  However, everyone else calls her "Miss Ellie".  Today Sue Ellen called her "Mama" when they were together with Baby John.  I thought that this was weird, unless Sue Ellen was intending to say "Grandma".  I think that this was a mistake though.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Absolutely! Except for this instance, I do not recall ever hearing Sue Ellen call her anything except 'Miss Ellie'.

    - One last thing.  I know that JR is extremely rich, and doesn't care how he spends his money.  I found it odd that he was going after that blonde bimbo and paying her, instead of getting Kristen for FREE!  I think Kristen is better that the bimbo. (Of course I guess you could call them both bimbos!)

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Lucy mentions a visit to her parents in Knots Landing as a reason for her need to catch up in school.  This is actually a nice bit of continuity in the series.  She visited Knots in episode #6 of that show, while her school was on break.  I assume it was winter break, because the episode aired late January of 1980.

    - Lucy doesn't wear a bra as she and Muriel leave the lit class.  I assume she unbuttoned her blouse that far down to try to seduce the professor.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't see any buttons undone! I think the blouse is just like that.

    - JR asks Louella if she ever met Kristin before and vice versa. Neither lady says yes, but I am sure that in the first season, Kristin DID visit Bobby and JR at Ewing Oil.   Sure, is was a different Kristin, but worth mentioning.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Definitely worth mentioning. Although neither woman says no, either.

    - Harve speaks highly of Alan?  I find this hard to believe.

    - During her talk with JR, Betty Lou is seen with hair in front of her shoulders.   However during a change in cameras (and takes) her hair miraculously moves in back.

    - Sue Ellen threatens to sue JR for divorce. I don't think so. She can sue for custody and FILE for divorce.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. I remember pointing this out with someone else.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Digger looks like he's reading cue cards.

    - As a teacher, I'd be suspicious of Lucy's explanation as to the details being the main force in *Madame Bovary*. It sounds like she's quoting the Cliff's Notes version.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: So did that other guy.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Lucy borrowed a shirt from the Bobby Ewing shirt collection in the beginning of the episode.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: This is more of a Sue Ellen "look at my ta-tas" shirt. Jeepers.

    - The kid in Lucy's class answered the professor's question about the theme of Madame Bovary by saying the plot.  Plot and theme are two different things and a college student in a literature class should know this.  But then the professor said "that's right."  I guess that kind of incompetence is to be expected by such an unrealistically young professor...

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess so. He must really be a teaching assistant.

    Tina Niblett responds:

    Lucy's teacher could not have been a teaching assistant.  I have to defend  the assistants since I spent 2 years as one myself.  The fact that he accepts the student's response about plot being the same thing as theme makes me think that this guy is a tenured professor.   They can make those dumb mistakes because they can't get fired, and if he's been teaching other lit courses, then these students probably learned the basis elements of fiction through him.  They don't know the difference because he has been corrupting their minds all along.  Teaching assistants have to be more careful; they can lose that fellowship in a heartbeat.  It's the professors who are too lazy to update their notes and correct their mistakes.

    - Lucy was having what appeared to wine (only because it was in a bottle. The liquid itself looked more like fruit punch to me) at her dinner with Alan Beam, which is illegal.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Lucy has the empty purse this episode, though it may contain all the missing buttons from that open to the navel blouse she was wearing.

    - Cliff's apartment was totally overdone. It looked like Hurricane Floyd passed through. Even the lampshade was crooked. Cliff's stubble was actually dark makeup.

    - When Lucy was reading "Madame Bovary", her dress was slit up to her rather ample butt cheeks.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: What is up with her today? I just noticed that she is absent from all my summaries until the end of the season, so I guess she wants to make up for lost time.

    - Why does Cliff have to go out on job interviews? Can't he just start his own law practice?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That would require some initiative, which Cliff clearly lacks.

    - Boy, JR really lowballs Betty Lou - $1000 to start? Even Valene starts at $5000.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess he figures that she can't be too smart since she's in love with Alan. And he's not asking her to go away forever like Val - just break Alan and Lucy up, and then she can go do whatever she wants.

    - One AHN noted Lucy's illegal drinking in the restaurant but she also had wine at Alan's apartment. And both of them left their meal untouched after the restaurant breakup.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed the untouched meal, especially the fact that the waitress is oblivious to it.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    -  This is something I noticed during yesterday's episode, but it's worth mentioning today.  Someone had mentioned a few days ago that the picture of the oil well with the sunset in the background appeared in both J.R. and Bobby's offices.  It also appears in the lobby, on the wall next to Connie's desk.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Then that must be the official Ewing Oil logo.

    - Pam had the honor of carrying the empty purse today when she went to Cliff's.   Betty Lou would've had one too, but she actually put something in it, I think tickets of some sort.  BUT she was carrying Pam's token tan purse!!  That purse gets around!

    - Again we saw a run on the fur coats.  Pam had one on while she and Bobby were walking by the pool, of course Bobby wasn't even wearing anything but a suit coat. Then Lucy had one on when she set her wedding date and again, Alan was just wearing a suit coat.

    - June 14 was actually on a Saturday in 1980.  I'm impressed, usually they just pick a date out of nowhere and hope the audience won't notice.  Lucy must have scanned the calendar upstairs before coming down to set a wedding date that quick! 

    - Betty Lou is such an idiot, no wonder she stayed with Alan as long as she did.   When J.R. went to her apartment, not only did she NOT look through a peephole to see who it was, or even ASK who it was, she just LET HIM IN!!!!  She opened the door and J.R. just walked in, she even stepped aside to let him in! She didn't bother to ask who he was until he was in the middle of her living room, and even then he didn't answer her.  She figured out who he was about a quarter of the way through their conversation.  No one in their right mind would let a perfect stranger in to their home, what if her were a rapist or something. This was completely RIDICULOUS!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Ah, the 80s. A time of innocence...Michael Jackson was still black, the Bee Gees were all the rage...and casual sex was still a cool thing.

    - The green and blue wallpaper in Betty Lou's apartment was the same wallpaper that was in Leanne's apartment last season.  The dark brown kitchen cabinets are the same ones that are in Cliff's current apartment.

    Episode 50: Divorce, Ewing Style

    Bonehead Dialogue Award:

    None yet.

    Pam Award:

    Kristin's red dress when she's talking to Alan.

    Angelica Award:

    Kristin's ugly dress when she's talking to Jock. Dr. Elby's tie is worth mentioning.

    Bobby Award:

    Louella and Dr. Elby share this one.

    April Award:

    Sue Ellen for continually telling JR the details of her plan. Kristin for thinking JR's committed to her.

    - Kristin is concerned that JR is ducking her calls. So why doesn't she just go to Ewing Oil and see him? Having been a secretary there herself, she must know how easy it is to get past them.

    - Serena is not a very smart call girl. I have no first-hand knowledge but common sense leads me to believe that a last thing a woman in her position wants to do is to antagonize a client. If JR wants to talk, you listen. If he wants to listen, you talk. If he wants to call you Denise, you let him call you Denise. If he wants YOU to call him Denise, then I daresay you call him Denise. But don't get him angry, right? Otherwise you'll find yourself working for a lot less.

    - I just shake my head every time I think of private investigators in Sue Ellen storylines. Doesn't any of these guys have a frontal lobe? JR is standing there with a briefcase full of cash and offers the guy one stack of money to change his reports. Wouldn't you hold out for a little bit more? I would, especially since there's more for the taking.

    - JR dials eight numbers when he calls Dr. Danvers.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - There is a John Christopher Ewing in the end credits.  I wonder if his family were the writers for this series.

    - I think the guy who plays Lucy's teacher was in the end credits, so we missed another Lucy scene.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Good.

    - Ellie seems to have an empty purse during her chat with Devlin.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Sue Ellen is one giant April Award today.  She obviously got this P.I. out of the Yellow Pages.  After all these years, how can she possibly think she can outwit JR?   Once she knows he's on to her, she should have gotten a safety deposit box and had the reports sent general delivery.  Why didn't she demand a breathalizer test to vindicate her?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: You know Sue Ellen. When accused of being drunk, she flies off the handle and stops thinking rationally. Her feathers get all ruffled and all she can think about is what the DOA girls will think.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Everyone at the anniversary party was supposed to be 'friends' of the Ewings. I didn't recognize one person there. Where were Jordan, or that Linda person that attended the cocktail party a few episodes back? I guess these extras came much cheaper.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Clearly. This was a real money-saving episode. Everything was so gloomy.

    - Pay close attention to Kristin's dress during the party.  While she was sulking and talking to J.R. a very tiny part of her slip was visible where her dress came together at her cleavage.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Are you trying to entice me? :) I think Alett mentioned that her dress didn't seem to fit too well. It's very sobering for me that I don't even notice cleavage on TV any more.

    - Sue Ellen carried the empty purse to lunch with Kristin.

    - J.R. came out to the lobby to pick up his hat and brief case.  How convenient, that way he could hear Louella talking to Kristin on the phone.  But since when has J.R. EVER left his coat and hat in the lobby?

    - A first! When Kristin came to see J.R. and he wasn't in, she actually waited in the LOBBY and not in someone's office.  Could it be that Connie or Louella actually did their jobs correctly?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Went right over my head. Good call.

    - Could Kristin have been anymore obvious when she spilled her drink?  It looked intentional.  If I had been Sue Ellen, I would've been suspicious then.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No, it couldn't have been more obvious. Lame.

    - Somebody better learn Sue Ellen's booze of choice. She drank vodka.  Yet, Kristin dumped whiskey on her dress and J.R. 'claimed' to find a bottle of whiskey in their bedroom.  So it would also be safe to say on that assumption that if she had been drinking, she would SMELL like whiskey when Bobby picked her up at the police station.   She obviously didn't, so I would think this would make Bobby suspicious.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: But Harry's boys explained this: she was "driving erratically", and there was no sobriety test. As Alett pointed out, Sue Ellen should have INSISTED on a breathalyzer but she wouldn't because she's so concerned about appearances. And I daresay that the Bob-man believes that she's falling off the wagon [until tomorrow].

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Re Serena, even more weird is why this hooker is acting like a wife. A guy goes to a hooker to get away from the things his wife does (or maybe more accurately to get what his wife doesn't do). At any rate, what right does she have to get upset with JR for not saying "the right things" or to think she's entitled to JR showing her a "nice time"?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I quite agree. Don't antagonize your "friends", Serena.

    - What is "bonded" bourbon (which JR sends a case of to Harv Smithfield)?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No idea. I thought it might be a particular brand or something.

    Bruce Sinclair confirms that it is a very expensive brand and a really special gift.

    - And speaking of bourbon, these Ewings drink way to much in general and way too many tall, straight drinks. And they drink every night without fail. Half the scenes with Ellie and Jock have them drinking, pouring drinks or asking one another if they want a drink. JR heads for the bar the first thing after he gets home. Even Bobby and Pam seem to be hitting the bottle pretty heavy.

    - Why is JR carrying an umbrella into Kristen's apartment when it's not raining and he has the usual Ewing preferred parking spot right in front of the building entrance?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Good question.

    - Alan Beam appears to have adopted a new new combed back hairstyle, I guess to make him less boyish looking and more of a threat to JR.

    - The whole PI plot was absurd. What does this guy have on JR that's so damning? That he goes into a building where Kristin lives? That he drives to another building frequently as well? He doesn't have any evidence or photos that JR and Kristin are doing it. He doesn't even know who JR visits in that other building.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, I see your point. But in a divorce case, JR could be asked who he was visiting there and why. For instance, if he spent 4 hours at Kristin's place [or worse, spent the night] a judge could draw his or her own conclusions. And as far as Serena's place, he could still be asked what he was doing there. If he said he was visiting a business associate, he'd need a name and corroboration. A divorce case isn't like a criminal case - you have to testify on your behalf and if you don't the judge figures you have something to hide.

    - The dog sculpture in the family room at SF has mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps Raoul was walking him.

    Episode 51: Jock's Trial Part I

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Pam: "Digger's body can't take the abuse, the drinking."
    (Duh, what other kind of abuse would the doctor be talking about?)

    Pam Award:

    Pam's foldover dress and oh-so-perfect hair.

    Angelica Award:

    Sue Ellen's new roadkill coat. Dr. Elby's mismatched outfit bears mentioning.

    Bobby Award:

    Louella and Dr. Elby share this one for the second straight day.

    April Award:

    Nothing terrible.

    - Last episode, JR asks the doctor to come to Southfork to have a look at Sue Ellen. Presumably he did. Apparently she went to see him again, but why do we see Sue Ellen coming back from the doctor's office in a cab? Was the doctor too busy to make a house call? Very odd.

    - Continuing with this opening few seconds, Sue Ellen confuses me [what else is new?]. At the beginning of the episode, she arrives home at Southfork in a cab. Presumably this is so she won't get pulled over for suspicion of drunk driving again. But later in the episode, we see her car parked Ewing style [meaning right in front of the main entrance] at Dr. Elby's office. So suddenly she's not afraid that JR will get his boys to pull her over? Very odd.

    - And just to prove that I have no qualms about beating a dead horse, it's very odd that there would be a company called 'Capitol Cab' in Dallas. Dallas is not the capital city of Texas, Austin is. Maybe the doctor was in Austin and that's why he couldn't make a house call? Must have been one hell of an expensive cab ride.

    - In the first livingroom scene, when the Ewings are about to go into dinner, Ellie doesn't exactly look "dressed'. She's just wearing an ordinary sweater and skirt. Contrast this to the second scene where she's much more properly attired.

    - I'm confused as to why Sheriff Washburn cops such an attitude the first time Cliff visits him. Cliff asks to see the remains of the body found at Southfork, and Sheriff Washburn looks at him like Cliff just asked him to run a marathon or some other difficult, time-consuming task. All he has to do is go over to his cabinet and open it! I can't believe that his only reason for stonewalling Cliff is that he's trying to protect the Ewings; he believes that Cliff won't get anywhere with his investigation because there's no substantial evidence. I think he's just too lazy to get out of that nice chair.

    - And why, if the Sheriff is so interested in covering up this case, does he have the body's remains in his cabinet? Shouldn't he have sent them them down to the morgue or some evidence-holding area a long time ago if he had no intention of doing anything about the case?

    - When Pam first arrives at Cliff's place to see Digger, we see Cliff straightening a lampshade in the livingroom. Cliff and Pam go to the bedroom, and then Cliff comes back to the livingroom to make a phone call. Suddenly, the lampshade is at an angle again! Not quite as severe an angle as before, but noticeably at an angle!

    - This one is so egregious but I almost missed it. Listen carefully as Sue Ellen watches the news of Dusty's plane crash. The newscaster says that Dusty's parents have been notified. Parents? Dusty has only one parent - Clayton Farlow. His 'mother', Amy Farlow, has been dead for several years. We learn later that the Farlows are almost as well known in Texas as the Ewings, so I find it hard to believe that a newscaster would make such a mistake.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    - Sue Ellen is taking a hyper fit because someone has gone through her drawers.  So JR comes through the door and she throws a bottle of perfume at him.  Maybe my nose is sensitive, but if there was a couple of ounces of perfume on my floor, I would have to get the room aired out, because the smell would be overwhelming.

    - Lucy is about to go out to lunch with her professor.  He says I'll see you tomorrow.  Fine.  But if she wasn't expecting a call from him, how would she know where to meet him?  The next day, the day she was supposed to have lunch with him, she instead goes out to dinner with him. Bobby asked if Sue Ellen was coming down to dinner, and that is when Lucy was leaving for the "lunch" date. Weird.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Agreed. Weird - like most of Lucy's adventures.

    - Cliff, in all the excitement surrounding this dead body, obviously has forgotten how to read.  He opens up his brief case to call the sheriff, and the first three numbers he dials are clearly "1-2-3".  I don't think that is how the phone works.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: At least he only pushed seven buttons. That puts him one step ahead of most Dallas characters.

    - Pam is stupid, you and I will agree. I have never before seen someone check an unconcious person's pulse by slamming their head into the person's chest.  What the hell is that.  Go for the throat or the wrist you idiot! Laughed my head off when I saw this. She doesn't even have her head over his heart! What's she checking, his left lung? Maybe his liver to see how engorged with booze it is.

    - Pam was getting tired from waiting around with Digger in the hospital. I have been into hospitals before and I have NEVER seen someone lying on a couch in the waiting room.  I am absolutely sure that Pam wouldn't set herself down on that couch as a seat, let alone a bed.  I think that men in the waiting room would be getting some bad ideas!

    - About that skull.  So the guy reconstructs the face and puts it in front of the guy they are interviewing.  The guy says that it is freaking him out, then one second later he has gotten used to it.  I wouldn't be able to get "used to" my buddy's head sitting infront of me on a desk. Besides that, if this guy knew him, why wouldn't he realize that his buddy had just disappeared?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Actually, his buddy didn't 'just' disappear. That happened in 1952. You're right about his sudden change of heart, though.

    - The last thing has to do with Baby John.  I am so impressed that he was able to say "Mama" when Sue Ellen was leaving the room.  That was one of the worst voice overs ever.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: At the rate he's growing, I'm shocked that Miss Ellie hasn't enrolled him in nursery school.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Ellie clearly didn't eat her breakfast when she leaves with Pam.

    - Hutch's shirt sure looks good for being in the ground for 27 years.

    - Did Pam dial 0 before talking to the operator?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm pretty sure she did...let me check...hmm, kind of quick, but it does look like she presses zero. My only comment would be that it would be more sensible to pick up the phone and listen for a dial tone before pressing the button.

    - Sue Ellen definitely has an empty purse when she goes to visit Dusty.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Pam is so stupid.  The way she checked Digger's pulse has been pointed out, but she did something else wrong.  When she first saw Digger lying on the ground, she rushed over to him and opened one of his eyes.  Is checking for pupil dialation so important that it just can't wait for the paramedics to arrive?  She did it even before she made that pathetic attempt to check his pulse!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That's a great point. Can't believe I missed that.

    - Sheriff Washburn could at least try to not look like he's being paid by the Ewings.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't think he's being PAID, necessarily - but he knows what side his bread is buttered on. He clearly wants to stay in Jock's good graces.

    - Pam is angry because Cliff had to leave Digger alone.  Well, Pam, some people actually have to go to work...

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah. What a novel concept for her.

    - A.D.A. Sloane is mad because Cliff is investigating the case, saying that he doesn't even know if it's a murder.  Well that didn't stop Sloane from calling the case a homicide when he gave it to Cliff in the beginning of the episode.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: True enough.

    - Bobby mentioned that he talked to a guy named "Curly."  Well, that's like the third Curly we've heard about during the series' thirteen year run. How many Curlys can there possibly be running around Texas?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Quite a few, I suppose. It must be a rather common nickname for bald guys.

    - The news announcer says that Dusty Farlow was killed in the plane crash...and then later says that there are "no signs of life."  Which is just a little different.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - When JR is in bed talking to Kristin and the camera shifts from him to her, most of the back of his head is seen.  We shouldn't be able to see this because his head is sunk into the pillow.

    - Why oh why hasn't Sue Ellen hired a divorce lawyer to advise her?  If she leaves the baby, it's too easy for JR to claim she's abandoned him.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: YES! YES! This is the whole idea. I'm reserving comment for the "I think".

    - The porcelain dog has given birth.  There's a little white puppy on the end table.

    - Even though Cliff's motives are warped, he is conducting a great investigation.  If he could be this energetic on everything, they'd have to give him the DA's job.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I know what you're saying, but probably not. The DA usually doesn't actually DO anything...he's just responsible for the major decisions of the office. It's the Assistants who do most of the cool work and investigation, like Jack McCoy on Law and Order.

    - I'm puzzled by Cliff's investigator "Tiny" Voight.  He's not huge, nor is he a squirt, so "Tiny" seems to be a dopey nickname.  I'd hate to ponder what other attribute might be responsible for this moniker.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Bobby's red shirt with the epaulets is back and the dog sculpture in the family room has returned from his walk.

    - Teresa is mentioned as having searched Sue Ellen's room but is never seen and Raoul is still working breakfast buffet duty.

    - Miss Ellie is carrying JR's umbrella around even though it's a beautiful day.

    - When Sue Ellen reached for a bottle at the end it is dark stuff and not vodka.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I guess there was no vodka around. Shame.

    - Why is Miss Ellie constantly hitching rides? The Ewings certainly have enough cars to go around and we know she has a license. She must have read the script that requires her to accept rides from Matt Devlin.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Clearly so. It's possible that like my mom she's just gotten so used to being chauffeured around.

    - When Lucy answers the phone in the SF family room, she picks it up and holds it to her ear oddly, sort of backhanded.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Pam was so concerned about Digger that when she went to get her empty purse, she did her hair.  When she received her phone call from Cliff, her hair was down.  When she arrived at Cliff's apartment, her hair was pulled back on each side in comb barrettes.

    -  The porcelain dog seems to be very attentive.  The other day while Ellie watched Cliff on TV, the dog watched too.  Today, the dog has turned around to face the family during cocktails.

    - J.R. said Kristin received an A in the bedroom but flunked kitchen because all she had was caviar and crackers.  Maybe she should've gone in to the catering business.   That thrown together snack tray looked very impressive.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably came with the condo.

    - Pam carried an empty purse to Cliff's, Lucy carried an empty purse to dinner, Sue Ellen carried and empty purse to see Dr. Danvers and she carried the ever present tan purse which she placed on the table at Dusty's.  Ellie did not carry a purse.  I guess you don't need a purse when you're constantly being chauffeured around, but what about ID?

    - I guess Pam's travelling days are over.  Sue Ellen took her suitcase when she left Southfork.

    - How did Pam get in Cliff's apartment when she found him and made her lame attempt to see if Digger was alive?  Did Cliff give her a key?  If so, when?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably left unlocked. Good call.

    Episode 52: Jock's Trial Part II

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Jock to Scotty: "It all happened a long time ago."
    (Boneheaded because Jock then proceeds to remember what happened in detail)

    [courtesy of Sara]:

    > Maggie: How's Digger?
    > Pam: He's not so good.

    Pam Award:

    No reason to take it away from Pam.

    Angelica Award:

    Bobby gets the nod for that monstrosity of a combo he wore to the hospital: electric blue shirt with white tie, ugly patterned sport coat and jeans.

    Bobby Award:

    Digger, for lack of a better.

    April Award:

    Digger for refusing to tell Pam that he was not her father until he absolutely had to.

    Sue Ellen denial meter:

    Says she doesn't know what JR is talking about when he talks about her tearing up Dusty's apartment.

    - If I ever get into any legal trouble, I want Scotty Demarest to represent me. This man can captivate an audience like nobody's business. He can even make you forget how old you are!
    Allow me to explain. In his long-winded speech explain that his main argument in defense of Jock is to point out that anyone in Dallas 27 years ago could have committed this murder. And, Scotty points out, that would include everyone in the room, except Bobby, who, as Scotty says, "was busy being born at the time". This episode takes place in 1979; the murder took place in 1952. According to our best sources, Bobby Ewing was born in 1949. [This changes over the years to suit the writers' purposes.] He would have been three years old when the murder was committed - a few steps beyond 'being born'.
    Now, Scotty may be genuinely ignorant of Bobby's age. But certainly the other people in the room [JR, Jock, Ellie, and Bobby himself] know how old Bobby is. No one says anything, not even Bobby himself. This borders on sheer stupidity.

    - There's some weird vibes going on in JR and Sue Ellen's bedroom. As they discuss why Sue Ellen was in Fort Worth, JR comes out of the bathroom and is in the process of putting the long end of his tie through the loop as he walks over to the mirror. Sue Ellen says something and then we cut to JR at the mirror. He's putting the long end of his tie through the loop again! Now, it's possible that JR just misjudged the length of the tie the first time. I do it all the time because I don't wear ties that often, but JR wears one every day! Surely he must be a better judge of tie lengths than that.

    - Continuing with the weird vibes, as JR leaves the room, he leaves Sue Ellen with a backhanded comment about seeing the world through the bottom of a glass. When the camera cuts to Sue Ellen glaring at the closed door, the left strap of her slip has come off of her shoulder. That comment must have really hurt!

    - The judge in Jock's trial has a rotary phone at his bench. Why? Who would he call? Who would call him during the trial? This makes little sense.

    - Not a nit, just an observation. Sue Ellen has a foldover dress similar to Pam, though it's plainer and the fold is the other way. Was there a sale?

    - You know, my memory must be failing me. In episodes 38 and 39 there was some debate about Ellie suddenly referring to Digger as 'Digger', since she used to call him 'Willard'. And I said below that I was certain that Ellie would call him Willard again, and I was certain that it would be this episode. And guess what happened? She called him 'Digger'. Mea culpa, folks.

    - And speaking of Digger, no doctors rush in to his room to revive him as he flatlines. Did he have a "do not resuscitate" order in his will? I doubt it.

    AHN Todd's corner:

    - Right before Jock and the rest of the family came out of the courtroom, there was a lead in by a television reporter.  She was telling the viewer how Jock Ewing had been charged with murder etc.  She was telling us what was going on, then when Jock comes out she is still speaking but no sound is coming out of her mouth.  I understand trying to put more emphasis on the family that is now in the scene, but this is ridiculous.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I checked the tape. You're absolutely right. The KGIM budget must have been cut dramatically after Cliff stopped using it for his campaign broadcasts.

    - When Pam is in the hospital with Digger, she phones Bobby to tell him that she is visiting her father.  Bobby asks if Cliff is there, and is told that he is on his way.  Bobby replies to Pam, "good, because I want to talk to him".  Pam, even though apparently lacking brains, would probably realize that Bobby would want to speak to Cliff about the murder trial against Jock.  Surprisingly, she replies "alright", and thinks nothing of it, until Bobby and Cliff are at each other's necks. I don't think that Pam would want Bobby to beat up her brother when Digger is on his death bed.  She should have reinforced to Bobby not to make a fuss in the hospital.  What a load of bull. You know who Pam reminds me of? That cartoon character on the Animaniacs who always absent-mindedly says, "Okay, I love you, bye-bye." Sheesh.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - JR has the ability to deflate Pam, at least her hair.  By the time she makes it upstairs, her hair is flat.

    - When Jock is reading the Dallas Press, the cover story is about his indictment.  It seems to be the same morning when Bobby visits Pam in the hospital, but her Dallas Press has the picture and indictment to the left with the President addressing congress as the headline.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Really? Whoa. How did I miss that?

    - When Scotty questions Ray, it's to establish that Jock didn't withhold any of the employment records from the sherriff.  His last question to Ray was did the sherriff ever mention the name of Hutch McKinney, and Ray says no. To me, that sounds like a prosecutor's question.  It implies Jock gave up the records because he didn't see them as damaging to him.  It would be more convincing if Jock knew it concerned Hutch McKinney, and he still has no hesitation in giving up the records.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'll have to think about this one a bit. I'm not sure what Scotty is getting at here. Too bad the scene was obviously cut.

    - During JR's testimony, Jock whispers something to his left, but Scotty is sitting to his right.  I don't recall seeing anyone siting second chair for Scotty.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I thought Bobby was sitting there...I could be wrong.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - Ellie refers to a mastectomy she had in this episode...well, whatever could she be talking about?  TNN would like us to believe that she hasn't had a mastectomy yet.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes...I was hoping to avoid this. :) It'll be interesting on Wednesday when Digger and Dusty are resurrected.

    - I understand how Jock's arrest would be in the papers, on the front page even.  But that huge studio picture of him was a little over-the-top. There really should have been one of those walking-down-the-courthouse-steps pictures, as newspapers tend not to have nice pictures of retired local oilmen on file.

    - Why why why did Pam feel the need to inform Bobby that Digger was conscious?  She must have read the script and realized that Bobby and Cliff would have to meet at the hospital in front of Digger so he could feel bad and tell the truth.

    - Jock's trial started a few days after his arrest, which is ridiculous.

    - I fail to understand why everyone in the court went crazy when that fake head was rolled in.  Because it had a bullet hole in it?  Big deal.  They were acting like it was a real head with blood all over it or something.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It was unexpected, and I'm sure that's the effect Cliff wanted. Certainly it's tame by today's standards.

    - Sue Ellen wasn't drinking vodka at the courthouse today.  She had something dark instead.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Probably the same stuff she drank at Dusty's place.

    - That whole echo thing in the courtroom was weird and unnecessary.  Was it there to add a sense of realism to the trial?  Well, they blew that when they decided to make Jock's trial start three days after his arrest.

    - Digger said that he was drunk when he shot Hutch.  Say what you will about Digger, but that guy must have the best aim ever.  He got him between the eyes while plastered!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Given that Digger spent the entire decade of the fifties drunk, this might not be too unreasonable.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Ellie must have been getting serious with Matt. I noticed she got out one of her best sack dresses and that ubiquitous string of pearls.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Even though a lot of people seem to find this hard to believe, I think Barbara Bel Geddes is a very attractive woman for her age [57 at the time]. The results of the Babes poll are bearing this out. Ellie #1 is getting higher ratings than several women half her age.

    - Why does the Dallas female TV reporter have a British accent?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Did she? Didn't notice.

    - The dog sculpture was MIA from the SF family room. And what's up with that Asian sculpture that looks like a samurai warrior that we glimpse occasionally? What a weird thing to be be in the SF family room.

    - Hutch McKinney was played by William Watson who made a career of playing psychos convincingly. It is hard to believe that this ugly man could be Pam's father, but I suppose that is explained away by having Rebecca played by a glammed down VP. Too bad she ages so badly into a much less attractive Rebecca (Priscilla Pointer) in later years who doesn't look anything like Pam.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Interesting. I find that amongst my friends, the cutest babies come from partners in which the woman is pretty but the man is homely. The uglier the guy, the prettier the female offspring. Gives me some hope of having attractive daughters.

    - Not only does no doctor show up to try to resuscitate Digger, but the nurse who show up seems more interested in turning off the alarm and moving on to the next room than trying to save the patient. It never occurs to her to call a doctor. And Digger's family members don't ask anybody to help either. It's like everybody's glad he's finally gone.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Kind of like Bobby in later years. I don't get this at all.

    - JR calls Jock "dad" instead of "daddy" in the last family room scene.

    - Speaking of second appearances, despite the fact that "Hutch" is an extremely unusual name, it comes up again in the latter season with the character nick named "Rabbitt" Hutch. And did we see even one glimmer of a reason why Rebecca had taken up with Hutch? He's ugly, a drunk, a thief and an adulterer.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, let's face it: Rebecca's a skank. But was Digger much better than Hutch? I suppose he wasn't a thief and we have no evidence that he was an adulterer, but he was a loser. At least Hutch probably had the money he got from padding the feed bill.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Pam had the empty purse when she came back to Southfork and then again when she was in the hospital and Bobby took her home.  I believe it was the same purse.

    - Bobby said that he got a 24-hour nurse for Digger. OK, Bobby's a wealthy guy, he can afford this. Besides that, it would put Pam's mind at ease.  But where exactly was this nurse?  The only time I ever saw a nurse in Digger's room was when the machine flatlined. I think Bobby may have been ripped off.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't notice Bobby saying that. Good one.

    - Sue Ellen had to take a cab to Dr. Danvers' office the other day but Bobby got him to make a house call to see Pam.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: What a shame. But I'll bet that getting the chance to examine Pam in bed is quite the incentive.

    - How did Pam's car get home from the hospital after Digger's death?  I'm sure Bobby drove her home, she was probably in no condition to be driving.  Did Bobby 'send one of the hands' to pick it up the next day? Or maybe ELLIE drove it?  I would've loved to have seen Ellie cruising down the highway in Pam's racey little car!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, she did a good job with her Beemer in later seasons. I remember when she cruised right into Carter McKay's fortress and all his henchmen were just like, "Oh, come on, lady, stoooooop. Please?"
    Actually, this brings me to another minor nit which just occurred to me: normally, Bobby says that he'll send one of the hands to pick up a car. But wouldn't he have to send two hands? One to drive whatever vehicle they go in, and another to drive the abandoned car back? Pick, pick, pick...

    - Pam told Aunt Maggie that she didn't need to come all the way from Kansas to see Digger because she wasn't well.  For one thing, Aunt Maggie looked just fine and she is Digger's sister, so she should be there.  Two, when did Aunt Maggie move to Kansas?   We never heard anything about this.  But on that note, I'm happy to see the writers actually REMEMBERED Aunt Maggie. We only hear of her one other time, when Jordan mentioned seeing Pam at a party in 1988 and said she was using the name Monahan.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think the writers invented Maggie's move to Kansas to explain why it took her so long to get there in the first place.

    - The bailiff came over to tell Cliff that Digger was dying only spoke to Cliff about two seconds.  Yet after the judge declares a recess until the following morning, Cliff told Miss Ellie that Digger was asking for her.  I can't believe the bailiff managed to give Cliff all of that information in such a short time. I'm assuming that this was an assumption on Cliff's part.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think you're probably right. I think Digger probably told him earlier that he wanted to see Ellie before he died.

    - Grief is a funny thing.  But I found it a little strange that Cliff got up and walked away during the reading of the 23rd Psalm.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't know what to make of this either.

    - J.R. was questioned about the gun as a 'Ewing', not a gun expert.  But for being questioned as a 'Ewing', he seemed to know an awful lot about the gun.  He said that he remembered it, but that he was a child when it was lost.  I find it hard to believe that J.R. would have picked up that much knowledge about a gun as a child. Scotty really should've objected again.  J.R. could have picked up that information by listening to Jock and Scotty's discussion about the weapon in the living room, or from the discussion about the weapon with Sheriff Washburn in the previous episode.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I found that odd too. Frankly I think Scotty should have objected wholesale to all of Lyle's entire line of questioning.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - What color were Hutch's eyes?  Rebecca (as played by Priscilla Pointer) had very blue eyes... If Hutch did too, then Pam could not be his daughter, due to genetics...

    - Rebecca's eyes mysteriously change color.  They are brown in 1952 (or is it 1953?) but when Becky returns in 1981 they will be blue.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. Major oversight. Of course, Digger may just remember them to be brown rather than blue...

    Episode 53: Wheeler Dealer

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > Lucy: "They're here.  They're back from Colorado."
    (For all of us with short-term memory loss, thanks Lucy for reminding us where they'd been.)

    Pam Award:

    Still no reason to take it away from Pam, although Kristin almost changed my mind with her cocktail dress.

    Angelica Award:

    Kristin's Laura Ingalls dress when talking to Alan.

    Bobby Award:

    Thanks for coming out, Dr. Elby.

    April Award:

    It's almost a shame to give it to Vaughn and the cartel jobbers, but I will.

    - I couldn't help laughing when Jock told Ellie, with a straight face, that he didn't want to keep anything from her ever again. No secrets between them. Everything out in the open. YEAH RIGHT! As we will see over the years, there are a lot of things that Jock never mentions which come back to surprise Ellie. Obviously the writers couldn't have known that Jim Davis was going to die in a year and a half, but this is a pretty weak effort.

    - I found it interesting that when Jock tells JR he wants to be sure things remain shipshape in his absence, JR says "oh, you're not going to South America, dad." Oh, if only he knew...

    - Connie is sitting at Louella's desk for most of this episode...why? Where the heck is Louella? She's lazier than Pam.

    - During the scene where Amanda is talking to Bobby as Jock, watch Jock who's in the background. When the camera closes in on Amanda, Jock has his hands together in front of him but when the camera focuses elsewhere his hands are at his sides.

    - I'm really looking forward to seeing "The Early Years", for all sorts of reasons, but one of the main ones is to understand why the heck Digger and Jock worked together for so long after their first major split. According to what we learn in Season 7, Digger and Jason Ewing sold their shares of Ewing Oil in the early 30s. This is very interesting in light of the fact that the contract which Cliff finds is dated February 26, 1939, and apparently Digger is living near Southfork until 1952 until he discovers his wife is a tramp. This information is very confusing to me for two reasons: first of all, if Digger was so upset that Ellie dumped him to marry Jock [this happened in the mid-30s], why did he continue to work with Jock and stay in Dallas? And more importantly, at what point did Digger feel that Jock "robbed" him of what was rightfully his? When Jock finally amassed total control of Ewing Oil? After their 1939 venture? After he left Dallas in 1952? When?

    - Bobby is lucky that Sue Ellen is carrying an empty purse in the bar where she gets zonked. I'd like to know how she paid for all those drinks.

    - This one is a very deep one, but I'll throw it out for consumption. JR offers the cartel members a 75 percent share of the Asian deal at 10 million dollars for a percentage point. That means that JR ends up getting 750 million dollars in cash right away, which presumably goes into Ewing Oil's coffers. Now, the Asian deal fizzles out at the end of this episode, so certainly Ewing Oil is going to lose some money, but that's neither here nor there.
    The point I want to make is this: presumably Ewing Oil was worth a couple of hundred million before the Asian deal. If JR's valuation of the Asian deal at 1 billion dollars is a "bargain", then the deal is worth several billion dollars - and therefore, Ewing Oil should be worth several billion dollars once all is said and done, right?
    Okay, here's the REAL point: in 1986, after the Dream Season, Ewing Oil is valued at about 2 billion dollars. But at this point [or some point in the midst of next season] it should be worth SEVERAL billion dollars. So who frittered this money away? Keep that on the back burner as you watch what unfolds.

    - What is with the glamour shots in the study? When JR tells Jock they made a killing on the Asian deal, we see a nice Sue Ellen picture behind him, which is okay. But in the corner there's a picture of Pam, which looks more like a glamour shot of Victoria Principal from a photo shoot.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Sue Ellen wants another glass of water, so she should have her glass by her already not sitting on Dr. Elby's desk.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Since Dr. Elby makes her get it herself, perhaps she drank the water while standing at his desk, left the glass there, and then sat down again. But probably not. I see your point.

    - Ewing Oil has to get its clocks fixed.  JR's deal with the cartel takes over two minutes, but the clock remains at 3:55.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: HOW DO I KEEP MISSING THIS? I'm annoyed with myself now.

    - The TV tally strikes again.  Television sets are only turned on when news will directly pertain to the Ewings.

    - Sue Ellen is really in a fog.  She should have realized a cowboy without a little scarf around his neck cannot be Dusty.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Must be all that vodka clouding her vision.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - Jock's been wearing out that light brown leather coat lately. And speaking of leather coats, JR's man Hank appears to be wearing Don Lockwood's omnipresent black leather coat.

    - JR prefers Serena to Kristin and only goes to Kristin when Serena is otherwise booked? This is hard to believe. I know there's a plot reason for it, even a personality quirk where the chase is more important to JR and he loses interest after conquest.... but this is still a little hard to swallow. Oh well, at least JR gets to add one more to the Forced Sex meter as he forces himself on Kristin in frustration.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think Kristin is getting to be kind of a drag on him, obviously.

    - Why did Cliff wear a white shirt when he knew he was going to be rummaging around in a dirty attic?

    - When Vaughn helps Kristin with her necklace I noticed she had very big ears and a swan-like long thin neck that are hidden very nicely by her long hair.

    - The only thing worse than cabbaging is inaccurate cabbaging. When Pam tried to get info about Rebecca from Ellie, she says the only thing people remember about Rebecca is that she slept with Hutch McKinney and got pregnant. Wrong. Until a few days ago, only Digger knew. Nobody else had that "memory".

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think this is just to show how discombobulated Pam is. Certainly that's all anyone remembers NOW.

    - Bobby red shirt with the epaulets is back for a third time.

    - The whole idea of going to Denver to see Amanda for five minutes seems ridiculous. Why not plan to spend more time with her since you haven't seen her in years? I also thought it was strange that 40 years after their divorce the nurse still calls Amanda "Mrs. Ewing". And did you see how fast Pam bailed out of the frame when Amanda ran to Bobby? It looked like she was yanked out by a hook or wire. :-) Totally unnatural looking.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yeah, I did notice that. I thought I pointed it out in the nits but I think I'm wrong. Clearly they didn't want to spend TOO much time on it but it does really seem weird to go all that way for five minutes. Good point. I think the reason the nurses still call her "Mrs. Ewing" is because she obviously thinks she's still married to Jock. I doubt she'd have any real concept of divorce and even if she did the thought of Jock "leaving" her would probably drive her over the edge.

    - That Jordan Lee is quite a sleaze bag in the early years (as well as the later ones). He clearly thinks he's getting some with Kristin. Why else would he so disappointingly say to her "If we're going to TALK, why don't we do it on the couch?".

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, apparently [though it is cut] he DID get some. Lucky bastard.

    - Did you notice when JR was standing at the pool in his robe in the early morning, they dubbed in the sound of a rooster crowing? Or maybe that was JR crowing over how he so skilllfully shafted the cartel and snared Vaughn Leland as a bonus! This scam is truly one of JR's finest moments

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Most definitely. This was the best one he ever pulled off.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - Pam and Cliff were digging through all of Digger's old things in the attic at AUNT MAGGIE'S!  Wait! Didn't Aunt Maggie MOVE to Kansas?  Wouldn't it be logical to say that she SOLD her house in Dallas? Makes sense to me, the Barneses aren't wealthy.   I doubt she could have afforded to keep her home in Dallas AND a place in Kansas.   This was the same establishing shot of Aunt Maggie's house that was used last season.  You'd think the writer's could stick with the storyline about for at least two episodes!

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I don't know quite what to make of this. Real estate was real cheap back then - maybe Aunt Maggie just rented a small apartment in Kansas and also rented this house out or something like that.

    - Cliff thought that the agreement for the split of profits on Ewing 23 was forgotten.   Yeah, by Digger maybe, but I can't believe Jock would forget something like this.   Cliff said that Bobby opened the field last month.  I would have thought Jock would've remembered something as important as this and insisted that Bobby not open the field.  Not only that, the profit split was between Jock and Digger, what about Jason, he's mentioned later as being a third and equal partner in Ewing Oil so shouldn't he also be mentioned in this document?  I guess the writers hadn't figured in the Jason twist yet.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: No, Jason wasn't even a remote thought. But this split was in 1939 - well after 1932, when Jason left for Alaska. I ranted a little bit about this on the page, because I find it odd that Digger would have worked with Jock after 'losing' his share of Ewing Oil. It's too bad the writers didn't take this anywhere.

    - J.R. turned on the television set and walked outside, why?  Most people don't do this.  I guess he read the script and knew Jock would be coming downstairs and would need to conveniently catch the story about the Southeast Asian revolution on T.V.

    - Sue Ellen's choice of watering holes is horrible, the bar she was drinking in was a dump!  Also, during the establishing shot with the very bad dubbing, the bartender referred to her as Mrs. Ewing which was kind of strange.  She's either a regular, or after a few drinks she told him who she was but she was too snooty to refer to herself as Sue Ellen, or the Ewings really ARE this well known.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: This was a small bar in Braddock. I guess they are that well known around there - although it doesn't exactly strike me as the kind of place Sue Ellen had ever set foot in. She probably was blabbing about being Mrs. Ewing and the guy put two and two together.

    - Apparently Pam has reverted back to her poor working habits.  Once she and Bobby made peace with each other, we haven't seen her at work once. She hasn't quit, she'll tell Bobby she wants to quit to look for her mother during the cliffhanger episode. So who exactly is doing her oh-so-demanding job right now? I guess now that she's through her avoidance period, her 'career' isn't so important to her.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: She's hanging out with Louella.

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Southfork is clearly a set today.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Was it? I didn't notice.

    - Is that the same actress who plays Amanda 7th season?  If not, another patient for the Dallas Plastic Surgery Unit.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I'm not positive but I believe so.

    Episode 54: A House Divided

    Bonehead Dialogue Award: [courtesy of Alett]

    > The male reporter: "Mr. Ewing [pushes the microphone toward Jock] I..."

    (What an idiot.  He can't even remember to keep the fake microphone by his own mouth when asking a question, and it's such an obvious pause we know there really was no question.)

    Pam Award:

    Pam except for the rather plain outfit near the end.

    Angelica Award:

    Bobby's polka dot tie and later his plaid jacket.

    Bobby Award:

    Dr. Elby completes the sweep.

    April Award:

    I lost count. Everyone who tries to put one over on JR deserves some mention.

    - When Jordan Lee barges in to JR's office, no secretary announces him, and no secretaries tail him, trying to stop him from getting in. This is very odd, considering that when Cliff Barnes barges in later in the show, he is both announced [and refused], and when the door opens, Louella is right behind him.

    - When Sue Ellen watches the news about the sale of the leases, she's drinking coffee but I'll bet that cup is empty.

    - When Kristin plays the tape of the conversation she had, she tells Alan that it's Andy Bradley's voice on the tape. HUH? Last year I questioned how this could be the case when she actually entertained Jordan Lee, but I listened closely and it is indeed Andy's voice on the tape. So she entertained Andy too? Later we are presented with evidence that Jordan Lee got the works [you go boy!]...I wonder whether Linda Bradley has grounds for divorce too. [Jordan Lee isn't so bad for Kristin's reputation... but Andy Bradley? Yuck. I'm not a woman and even I can see how disgusting that is.]

    - After JR hears from Hank Johnson, he heads out of the office, grabbing his cowboy hat in the process. Presumably it's to go over and yell at Kristin, which he does a few scenes later. But when he gets to her place, he has no hat! I presume that the condo is relatively close to Ewing Oil - walking distance - so it is unlikely that he drove and then left it in the car.
    By the way, the reason I think it's close to the office is because Kristin doesn't have a car herself, and also because companies normally put up important guests relatively close to the office anyway - doesn't make sense to make them take a long ride somewhere.

    - Take yourself back to Episode 51. JR has Theresa go through Sue Ellen's drawers to make sure there's no hidden alcohol. Suddenly there's a pistol in Sue Ellen's drawers. How did this happen? I find it hard to believe that Teresa didn't find it, or that she ignored it. ["Well, just as Mr. Ewing thought, there's some bottles of vodka. But I guess I better not touch this pistol because it belongs to Mrs. Ewing. Shame about her emotional instability."]
    So where'd it come from? I doubt that JR or any other family member would keep such a thing in Sue Ellen's drawers, so it must have been Sue Ellen herself. When did this happen?

    - Not a nit, just an observation: when Pam and Bobby discuss leaving Southfork, Pam is wearing the same brown print dress she wore in the last episode. Her red dress in Corpus Christi is recycled from an earlier episode, and the lovely foldover model also appears. The only non-recycled outfit is the one with the blue jacket towards the end of the episode. Economizing?

    - I still don't understand why Pam sees fit to decorate Southfork with glamour shots. When JR, Bobby, and Jock talk in the study, there's one directly behind JR and another one behind Jock.

    - I'd like to know why Jock and Ellie are eating breakfast indoors on that fateful morning. That's rather odd of them. What's even more odd is that Ellie is sitting right beside Jock, rather than at the other end of the table. Doesn't she expect the rest of the family to join them?

    - Sue Ellen tells Dr. Elby that JR will likely put her back in the same sanitarium she visited last season. That's reasonable - clearly JR has some friends there. But this is not a same Dr. Rogers as last year! JR refers to him as David, which was Dr. Rogers's doctor's first name, but it's not the same guy. Could it be some other guy named David?

    AHN Jason's corner:

    - Digger's grave looks like it is in a public park. No other markers around his 'tombstone'.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. Good one.

    - Sue Ellen is wearing some dress at breakfast, then when she leaves for her appointment with Elby, she is wearing pants and a jacket...  Do Ewings dress for breakfast?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Sometimes they do, I guess. I remember sometimes Ellie leaving breakfast saying she has to change for a meeting with Clayton or something.

    - Is it normal to work in the dark?  JR shuts off a lot of lights for someone who is reading.

    HNP Ahmer Responds:

    - The ominous music helps make this episode so suspenseful.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yup. It was exceptionally well done.

    - I find it hard to believe that Jock could forget about his promise about Ewing 23 to Digger and his heirs.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I really wish they had made something out of this storyline. They totally drop it next season, which is a shame. It's worth milking.

    - I notice that Ewing Oil now has mugs by their coffee machine, where a few episodes back Connie was using Styrofoam cups to pour coffee in.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: That Asian deal has really spiffed up the place. Mugs! Wow...maybe they can afford the executive "While You Were Out" pads now too.

    - JR's phone rings into his office at the end of the episode.  I suppose that this is possible but usually it rings up front at Louella desk. Maybe they forward them at night to an answering service but instead tonight JR had it forwarded to his office.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: It's possible. I think he's waiting for Dr. Rogers to let him know that Sue Ellen's been taken away to the sanitarium.

    - The media says something about the collapse of the Ewing Oil Empire but isn't this inaccurate?  They just had a press conference where they said that they were not that badly hit by the lease deal.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think it was the morning edition. Someone probably jumped the gun.

    - I was trying to do the math and got lost.  So, in the long run, did JR make money off of buying the leases and then selling only 75% of them to the Cartel?  He told Jock yesterday that he made a killing, but didn't they say today that they lost big money on this deal.  Granted, I am sure even JR would not want his "friends" to find out that he made a profit so he lied but  I am still curious.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Well, JR sold 75% of the deal for 750 million dollars - cash - which he said [and others agreed] was a "bargain". Let's say for argument's sake the deal is worth 1.5 billion or so, which means that JR sold the leases at 50% below the going rate. Still it's a bargain for him - he only paid about 100 to 150 million or so for the original deal. Now, obviously he'd like to get 1.5 billion for his investment; but under the circumstances, 750 million is not so bad. It's still a huge return on his initial investment.

    - Pam and Kristin both carry empty purses.  Sue Ellen did too, until the end with the tissue-wrapped gun.

    - According to the lady in Corpus Christi, Cliff is only 5-6 years older than Pam.   In real life, KK is like 12-14 years older than VP.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, and BBG is only 9 years older than Larry Hagman.

    - I wonder about the legal recourse Cliff could have to make or keep Ewing 23 open.   At the very least, Ewing Oil owes him for the oil already pumped out of it.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes, I'm sure they do - but Bobby just recently reopened that field. There can't have been much out of it at this point. Cliff could seek legal recourse, but the onus would be on him to convince a court that JR HAS to keep the field open - JR can argue that it's not really worth it at this point, and tie Cliff up in litigation forever.

    AHN Sara's corner:

    - JR sounded like he had just gotten some dental work done when he was calling Sue Ellen an unfit mother. Maybe he burned his tongue on Theresa's delicious breakfast (although I'm not sure if anyone actually ate any of the breakfast).

    - Shame shame shame on TNN for putting this episode on a Friday when there will only be two showings of it.  I guess it's all a part of their "The Joke's on Us Week" theme which also gave them cause to put the Mastectomy shows on out of order and repeatedly air commercials with the extremely frightening Phyllis Diller.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Just another example of how stations like TNN just do not get it.

    AHN Alett's corner:

    - Jock tells the reporters no more questions and then immediately answers another question posed to him.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Yes. Very un-DA MAN-like. He should have told them to get the hell out of there.

    - What a cheap television station.  The reporter is sitting at what looks like someone's dining room table with those big KGIM letters pinned on the curtain behind her.   Those call letters must stand for "K Gee I Am" in a crappy job.

    - Sue Ellen and JR are talking about what happened that night at dinner, but they act like they are are just getting dressed for dinner. JR is going to leave, but Sue Ellen isn't going anywhere, so she should be taking off her clothes.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I noticed that too.

    - I wish I could grade papers as fast as Lucy's little professor does. He says he has to "mark" these papers, and it looks like that's all he does.  Lucy still has a perfect track record for choosing the wrong men.

    - Bobby and Pam aren't just going away for the weekend, but they are able to fit all their stuff into just two suitcases.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: They'll probably send one of the ranch hands for the rest. :)

    - We don't hear JR's footsteps as he's walking from the coffee machine to his office, so we shouldn't be able to hear the killer's footsteps either. Maybe JR is wearing soft soles, and the killer is not.

    AHN Mike's corner:

    - The same woman reporter from KGIM TV was back. I didn't notice a slight British accent this time though. How stupid was that crush with what seemed like 20 people hurriedly photographing anything that wasn't nailed down?

    - If the Ewings are so damn rich, how come they all own such chintzy, cheap TVs? Most college students in those days had a better one than JR and Sue Ellen had in the bedroom.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Perhaps they don't watch it much. I'm sure Sue Ellen is more interested in spending money on jewellery than a TV.

    - How can Pam announce with a straight face that she's quitting a job she hasn't showed up once for in weeks?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: And I think she's just covering up for getting fired.

    - Why is JR holding a piece of bacon in his hand as he berates Sue Ellen (e.g. slut, tramp, unfit mother, lost your reason, time to go to the sanitarium, etc) in the breakfast area?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I didn't notice. Guess Larry was hungry.

    - And speaking of sanitariums, does JR just call 1-800-sanitariums-r-us? You just can't get somebody committed in a matter of hours with no proof even if you are JR Ewing.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Not legally - certainly there's a whole lot of paperwork involved. But I'm sure that JR [in cut scenes] may have already been laying the foundation for this.

    AHN Pam's corner:

    - During news casts, the audience doesn't see any of the papers that may be sitting on the reporter's desk. But we saw every paper on this woman's desk. Didn't they have a teleprompter?

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Did they in 1980? I have no idea.

    - Kristin's hair did some moving on it's own during her first conversation with Alan.   While she was standing in front of the door, her hair was clearly behind her shoulders.  By the time she walked around Alan, it was all in front of her shoulders.   BTW, she also had on her engagement ring during this scene.  It was very noticeable when she picked up the phone to call Hank.

    - When Pam got out of the cab in Corpus Christi, the street was wet and and it was overcast.  Pam got out of the cab and looked down the street and saw the old woman.   When the scene cut back to Pam, who hadn't moved, it was sunny and the street was dry.  There must have been some strong Texas sun that morning.

    -  When Pam went to return the book to the lady in the records department, she got up and left her purse sitting in the chair.  I never do this sort of thing. Even if I'm just walking up to the counter, I would never leave my purse, in the chair alone for a second. There were other people in there, any one of them could've taken it.  Though I guess it really didn't matter since was empty anyway.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: True. But I remember way back then that my mother did this all the time. Those were better days.

    - When J.R. gave Cliff his drink, the glass was at least half full.  When Cliff raised it to take a sip, the glass was nearly empty.

    - Jock had an empty coffee cup at the breakfast table.  Though we didn't see him drink from it, so maybe he just needed a refill.  DA-MAN should not even have to ASK for a refill.  Theresa should know her damn role and be on top of these things.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: Theresa is currently the Raoul-of-the-week's love slave, so we have to cut her a little bit of slack.

    -  I guess Pam was finished with her tan purse.  She left it for Sue Ellen to put the gun in.

    - I didn't notice Sue Ellen wrap the gun in tissue when she put it in to her otherwise empty purse.  But when she opened it in Dr. Elby's office, it was on top of a bunch of tissue, and her purse looked full. Also, I know if I were carrying a gun I'd try to hide it in the middle of my purse.  Nothing like paying for gas and having the attendant see a gun sitting in the top of your purse.

    HNP Ahmer Responds: I think she probably got the tissue from Elby's office.

    - J.R. must not be very picky about drinking cold coffee.  Either that or Connie and Louella were very inconsiderate when they made J.R. a pot of coffee before leaving the office. When he poured his cup, the warming light was clearly turned off on the pot.

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